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Found 11 results

  1. It's my first time posting something like this but I feel like I need some advice. He and I just both got out of long term relationships recently and we met during a work event about 2 months ago. We hit it off right away and get along really well. We have a lot in common and are very compatible (both physically and emotionally) and we have both admitted that we like eachother. We text everyday and when we are together we always hold hands, kiss, etc and he always says how much he misses me. We have been on a few dates and he mentioned there's many places he wants to take me still - plus neither of us are seeing other people at the moment. He always gives me compliments and I've met his mom and some of his friends (he's not shy about holding my hand or cuddling around our mutual friends either). When I saw him two days ago he said he can't believe how lucky he is to have me and he can't believe he got me - but then he brought up that he's not ready for a relationship and that at some point this will have to end when we are both ready to start dating because he doesn't want to risk the friendship we have between us and our mutual friends. It's making me a bit confused because majority of his actions point towards him being interested in me but then he says this? I'm not sure what to think or if I'm wasting my time. Part of me thinks that he is not over his ex as she texts and calls him often (despite her being in a new relationship). He does tend to ignore her when she texts him and we are together, but I feel like maybe that's the reason? Any advice is appreciated!! I haven't been in a situation like this before so I'm not sure what to do.
  2. Why does this happen? LOL. I've gone from being super into somebody to feeling completely repulsed to them out of nowhere. Don't ask me why coz I haven't the foggiest 💁‍♀️ Actually it's pretty upsetting to go from one extreme to another where you see a future with them and then you have to reject them somewhat abruptly. Our first date was pretty middle of the road, but our second date was fantastic, I left feeling completely overcome with excitement and we had so much fun together. We waited a week for the third date? Perhaps it was just too soon for him to visit my house. In any case pretty much as soon as we started our hangout, something changed in my mentality, my perception of him became increasingly more negative throughout the evening even while nothing stood out as a turn off. I'm seeing a pattern because this has happened a few times with several different guys and I cant understand why my attraction switches on and off so much.
  3. So things took a weird turn, after acting cold/distant, my GF became, like before, sweet/romantic/sexual... Yesterday we kept texting from 11:00PM all the way to almost 3AM... She then started asking about my past relationships/ex-girlfriends... So I found it only natural and fair to ask about hers as well. Maybe that was a mistake. She then explained she previously talked to 3 other guys but those didn't work out. Aaaand... she casually namedropped some random guy... (Now I think I know who he is, we shared the same classroom in the 5th grade... ages ago now...) Her: "Hey do you know some <guy's name here>?" Me: "Ummm no..." Her: "There's a <guy's name> from your town who says he studied with you..." Me: "No, I don't think I remember him..." Me, starting to feel uneasy: "Well, I think you found your guy LOL..."(Referring to me...) Her: "Hmmm... Do you consider yourself an open-minded person?" Me, now feeling even more uncomfortable...: "Of course!" Her: "Going to bed babe, love you! 🙂 ". What happened here?
  4. I am in a relationship with a guy I love. He is good to me and sometimes I think okay... this is the one for me’ but then other times I am not so sure. For example we're together for a year now (both 25) and he has never actually gifted me anything. It’s not that I particularly want chocolates or other gifts but it’s the fact that he would care enough to give me these things as a token of his affection. I don't even care if it's a small thing, I would be so happy. When I see my girlfriends receiving gifts from their boyfriends, I feel like kinda like I wish my bf could get me something too, even if it's just chocolates or flowers. I kinda just think he is somewhat stingy. Because I tried telling him how I'd like it if he got me something once in a while. But he would change the topic or when I was hinting at him to get me something on valentines day and he ignored that too and then when he was talking about how could his friend spend so much money on his girlfriend for her birthday. Like that part really got me thinking that he might be that kinda boyfriend who is stingy asf. He's also a student studying for a bank job plus his family is well off so he gets his allowance from his parents. So I know money is not the problem for him. But yea, it annoys me. What should I do. 🥺
  5. I need to give a lot of context here so I'm sorry if this is long. Also, it may be a lot of rambling that's all over the place so sorry again. So I have a crush on a coworker. He's really nice, understanding, and we have A LOT in common. He would stop by my office or I would go by his and we would talk for the longest time about everything. He and I both just so happen to be really good at keeping eye contact so when we talk, he is usually staring at me directly in my eyes. There have been times when I caught his eyes wandering and there were times where our eyes would meet. For example, one day I was just coming to work and I was driving in the parking deck to the third floor. He had just got out of his vehicle and he locked eyes with me as I was driving up the parking deck. We both are a little shy around each other. We haven't touched once (meaning a gentle touch of the arm or a hug). Also he just recently broke up with his gf (like last week) so this whole time has been just he and I having friendly conversations (out of respect of him being in a relationship). Well, today is his last day here (he is transferring to a new job). Friday, I asked him to stop by my office before he left for the day to say goodbye. He waited until the end of the day (when most of the office was gone) and came by. I told him how happy I was that I got to work with him and I'm going to miss him. He proceeded to thank me for being real and for being a good friend. I gave him a congratulations card. In that card, I wrote a little note that basically said "thank you for being a good friend. I'll miss you" blah blah. I also included my contact information. When I gave him the card, he told me he would read it later and not in front of me because that would be "awkward" lol. No text or email or anything over the weekend which is fine. Well, today, he stopped by my office and gave me HIS number on a note that said if I need anything to contact him. Weird. I did not expect that especially after I just gave him my number. Am I crazy for thinking any of this stuff means anything? Should I use his number? Help. TL;DR: My crush gave me his number unprovoked after I gave him mines in a greeting card. What does that mean and should I use it?
  6. I always put in so much effort for other people. Why doesn't anyone ever want to put the effort in for me? Why am I not worth the effort? Why am I always the second choice?
  7. Sorry if this is long but there is a lot to digest here. Little back story I work at an IT company in a sales management position and the female in question is a customer service rep on my team. I am 33 and single. We have been working together for about 3 years and until about 6 months ago we had a normal work relationship. We were friendly with each other but I couldnt tell you one thing about her and I didnt have any sort of feelings. Back about 6 months ago we started to become very close with each other at work. It is to the point that despite the fact that we work on opposite ends of our office floor she is constantly coming over to my desk to talk to me whether it is personal related or business related. However the business related questions are so simple she could easily call me on my phone or email me but she ALWAYS does it in person. We have gotten to the point at work that everyone is convinced there is something going on between us when there really is not. We do flirt with each other all day but in a completely non sexual sort of way, making fun of each other, laughing together, and generally just spending a large portion of the work day hanging out. We also have a weekly "date night" where one of us will cook a homeade meal for the other and bring it in on a Friday and we will sit together and have a "date". I have now developed strong feelings for this woman and according to everyone else at work it is obvious she has feelings for me based off of her interactions with me and the way we interact with each other. Here is where the story takes a turn, this girl has a boyfriend that works in HR at the company, and he just started working here about a year ago. They have been dating for almost 3 years total. So I am in a tough position where I cannot really reveal to this girl how I truly feel, but it is more than obvious that we both have strong feelings for each other. I am not really sure what to do, I know revealing my feelings to her is probably off the table because of the boyfriend etc, but at the same time I have completely fallen for this girl. Anyone have any idea what to do next in this tricky position? We also never talk about her relationship and she used to up until recently, now whenever she talks or tells stories its like her boyfriend doesnt exist, its like she has flipped a switch with me where she will not talk about him or anything they do anymore. I have never seen this guy in person as he works at our corporate headquarter office, so I am not sure he even realizes what is going on.
  8. Hi So ya, to start with my mom found out that that my dad has an affair with another woman and they always meet. Almost every day actually. To be honest I am torn with respect toward my father and hatred. Now my father wanted to take that woman as a second wife ( my country allows polygamous relationship ). Of course, I hate that woman and to make it worst, she went to my house and bang on the door this morning because my mom won't let my dad take his phone or take a step outside without her this last few days. I mean how shameless can she be. My maternal grandma said that mom should go back to her house if dad decided to take that woman. Jokes on you, I hate that woman so much. You see my father was one of the biggest shareholder in a company and that mean he has this tons of authorities in this company. My mom found out that my dad is trying to take that woman as one of the staff there. So my mom went to see the company CEO and well at that time she could not control her anger. You know what my dad did? She scold my mom. That woman also blame my mother's friend for telling her about their affair. I mean she goes around with my dad calling her honey and stuff. They even met each respective family to get blessings and she goes around telling everyone my dad is her boyfriend and they are waiting for my mother approval. Are my mom a jokes to you? It broke my heart to see my dad acting like nothing ever happen and mom keep on crying. You see my mom is a housewife. She said that she become a housewife when my dad coaxed her to take care of the children. If not for dad, she will have a brighter life. After she married my dad she got an offer in one of the biggest company in my country, but she turned it down because she said that she does not want a long distance relationship, later she fell into depression then she got better, then she got a job somewhere closer and later she quit to become a housewife. I am the eldest out of 5 siblings and I am a first year in college with full parents support. So I could not do anything except for the mental support to mum. I am still living with her. Mom said that she is trying to hold herself and ask me to study and get good job, so she can be at ease. My mom is well she is crying almost every day and she only slept for a few hours last night. I am thinking of getting a job, but I know mom and dad will object. I just cant focus and my younger siblings does not know anything. It pain me seeing them and mom. Well I am venting here since I'll stay anonymous here. My mom only told me, her parents and some of the close friends. I will take any advice on what can I do now. Thank you.,
  9. Hello Everyone. I have quite the long history of mental health issues that I have battled with for most of my life. I guess with it being RUOK day, I wanted to start a topic about mental health and just how bloody important it is. Where I live, I assumed that my country had a decent health care system. But reflecting on my previous treatments, I realised that it's really a wheel that keeps on spinning. I realise I am getting bad so I seek treatment. I am put onto a waiting list of up to 8 months, and by then I am a bloody mess. I go to treatment, explain my problems, get "treated" with the same treatment methods that I explained haven't worked for me in the past, give the psychologist the benefit of the doubt because it took me 8 months to see one and I really need the help, end up stagnant, try to find a new psychologist, go onto a new waiting list and convince myself I will be okay and the next psych will help me. Rinse and repeat. I'm not a doctor but I do like to do research, and i'm quite sure that having recurring depression for 14 years when you are seeing psychologists, doctors and psychiatrists isn't normal. I appear to function pretty normally from the outside, but I am constantly fighting myself. It's a damn nightmare. Speaking of nightmares, I haven't had a decent sleep in close to a year. I am struggling to keep the façade of normality up. I was in a bad place last year, but there was reason behind the madness. Now I am slipping again and I can't find a source for it. I know sometimes you have good and bad days but gee, it's 4 bad days followed by 1 or 2 good ones. I recently started seeing a psychologist who is also a doctor. He is exploring the theory that I have been misdiagnosed for years. He wants to get me in to see a psychiatrist, but that won't be happening for months, as there is a waiting list for appointments. It's better than nothing, but I can't help but feel that if I was physically ill I would be treated much sooner than with mental illness. Awareness with mental health has come a long way, but we still have a long way to go. Have you had struggles like this? What did you do to get the treatments you needed? Any advise, stories or rants are welcome.
  10. I have just started dating this girl and I’m scared she’s using me... I have c-ptsd and you can make your own guesses for why, so I’m not super into the sexual aspect of relationships, and I haven’t had any real relationships and crap. It sucks. I really like this girl, but everytime we talk on the phone she only wants to do sexual stuff, and I’m afraid it’s the only reason she’s interested in me. I also learned she was younger then i thought, but it’s okay with her and she apparently thinks it’s “sexier” that I’m older and whatnot. I like this girl... but it’s starting to feel like she doesn’t feel the same, and she only likes me for “that” kind of stuff.
  11. TL;DR: New girlfriend says she has high sex drive but extremely hesitant to do anything sexual, says I'm not doing anything wrong. What can I do to make her more comfortable/interested? Quick info that will probably be useful: I'm 32 and pretty huge 6'4" 320 lbs. She is 23 and pretty small 5'1" 95 lbs. I have had a lot of sexual experience. She had sex with 1 guy before and it wasn't very often. I have a vasectomy, she knows about it. Both of us do not want kids, ever. I have been dating my girlfriend for about 3 months. We met online and have a legitimately amazing connection. When we originally discussed sex, she stated she had a high sex drive. I said mine was about about normal and we both agreed sex was important to us, but she said she wanted to 'wait'. Her living situation was less then ideal and I own a house so she quickly moved in with me. She has some sensory issues and prefers sleeping in separate rooms, especially due to my snoring. I would rather she slept in my bed, but I am ok with her having her own room and bed. She made it clear at the beginning of the relationship that she wanted to "wait" to have sex, but never specified what she was waiting for exactly, other then 'until she was comfortable'. We did end up having sex within a week or so of her moving in. The sex was great, but she said she felt like she was going to pass out from over exertion and we had to stop before either of us had an orgasm (she said she can't orgasm unless masturbating). The sex lasted almost an hour and a half, that's on the average to low end of normal for me, but I understand that that can be a lot for some women. She refused ALL sexual contact after that for just over 2 months. I bought her very nice vibrator she could use on her own, to help her get in the mood, or do as she pleases but she refuses to use it (she said she has never owned or used a sex toy before). I ask for hand jobs or oral sex, etc. or if I could preform oral sex on her (which I really enjoy) instead of actual sex to try to keep the relationship strong, as well as keep interest but her answer is always "maybe later", and it never happens. I had a sit-down with her at about the 2 months mark and told her I could not continue the relationship if there wasn't going to be anything sexual going on. I explained that I was in a 'loveless relationship' before for multiple years and I refuse to go through that again. She said she understood, that I was being reasonable and that she would try to work on it. She assured me I wasn't doing anything wrong, and she just wasn't ever in the mood, and she got overwhelmed thinking about it sometimes. A week later we had sex and it was even better then the first time, I kept it to a reasonable length this time and I reached orgasm, and she was quite pleased about that. But since then, it's back to the way it was before. She has mentioned previously that her ex would never want to have sex and she pretty much had to beg him. Oddly, she considers oral sex equivalent to actual penis-in-vagina sex. I am very open sexually. She has a certain, slightly embarrassing (to her) fetish that she told me about (with great hesitation). She said she has never done anything with the fetish before. I told her I would do anything she wanted, but she has been too embarrassed/shy to try anything. If we are watching a movie in my bed and I try to initiate sex, or sexual play, she quickly gets up and leaves the room. She says she doesn't even want to make out or anything "because it could lead to other things." I feel like shes not telling me something, she swears up and down that shes just not in the mood and gets overwhelmed. Things are not adding up. How can I help her out, and save the relationship?
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