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  1. I decided to start this as a place to park my hodgepodge of thoughts and what's going on in my life. Had a great Easter yesterday- I had to drive a few hours to the airport to pick my son up from his trip to France and Spain. He had a great time and it seems like he grew up over night! It was so great to have both boys home and with me. Since I had them for Easter, I asked them what kind of meal they wanted and I went and bought the groceries for a nice Easter dinner. Then I get a text from my ex, saying his mom and dad are inviting me and the boys to Easter brunch at their house. Well I didn't really want to go because my ex and his gf would be there. But the boys wanted to go and they wanted me to come. So I told them I would drop them off, pop in to say hi to friends and ex's family, then pick them up later. It took a lot of courage. But Despite that, I actually had fun! My ex and his gf sat on the other side of the room, although at one point his gf complemented a necklace I was wearing. It was fun to catch up with people I essentially have not seen in 4 years since the breakup. Oh the things I do for my sons... Well afterwards I made that nice dinner and we had it by candle light- just before I had to take them to their dad's for the week.
  2. hey kids, i just want to extend a big thank you to all of you who have been helping me get through my break up these past few weeks. this site has done more help than anything else. my story is...i have been broken up with my ex for almost 2 months because i wasnt sure where it was going or what i wanted, and i havent seen or spoken to her for basically the entire time. i heard she was in a car accident last night, she is fine...was able to walk away but her car was totaled, we never established "NC" but we naturally went into that mode...should i call or make some sort of contact??
  3. (I got this idea from another forum I visit frequently, if one like this already exists by all means ignore / delete this one.) OK, it seems a few of us have had a rough time with the darned NC. I had fantasies today of unloading all this anger, longing, and "W-T-F" onto my ex. I am creating this thread as a place for all of us in pain to post instead of contacting Ms/Mr ex. It could actually be kind of fun, at least a release. What would you like to tell him or her? Even if it's been building up for years, post it here! Rage-fest! Longing-fest! DO NOT CONTACT that frigging ex, put it all here!!
  4. Hey, I hope everyone is doing well. Let me get straight to the point. My ex and I broke up last January, 16th January 2022 to be exact (what a way to start 2022 right) we’ve dated for 9 months and during that period of time, we were happy, I was happy. But everything turned down hill all of sudden. It’s been almost 2 months and it still stings. There’s a void in my heart every time I think about him. Everything reminds me of him and I keep looking for ‘him’ in someone else. The pain isn’t as bad as before but I still feel empty. I have never been like this before. It usually takes a short time for me to forget someone and I don’t know how to deal with this one. I’m scared it’ll take me a very long time to move on while he lives his life peacefully. Any advice on how should I completely let go of him and our past memories? Thank you, x.
  5. My ex and I were together for 4 years. Our relationship was me helping him as much as I could with anything and everything. I would drive him to school & anywhere he needed to go. I cooked for him, did his laundry, I gave him money when he needed it. He wasn’t always the easiest to get along with but I never gave up on him even when I knew I should have left him before we officially broke up. He could be very manipulative. We “broke up” August 2021. He broke up with me in person and said “I don’t want to do this anymore” I asked “what?” And he said “us” he also proceeded to tell me he “loved me” but wasn’t “in love with me”. I remember I cried my eyes out and didn’t say anything to him. He also started crying after he mentioned he wanted to stay friends and I told him I didn’t want to be around him or be his friend. I was devastated and I have a hard time dealing with confrontation. Before this point I knew the relationship had gotten to that point were we were both unhappy. He also had moved away from the area we both lived in so we didn’t hang out as much as we once did which was everyday. During that time we had “broken up” we were still communicating and hanging out at least once a month. Late December 2021 was the last time I saw him in person for his birthday he called me and asked if I wanted to eat with him. Our interaction was friendly and in all honestly I could sense some flirting or nervousness to be around one another. I still believed we were somewhat together even though we were not (I know very naïve of me but there were times when we were together he would cut contact with me and we were back together like nothing) We stopped talking/texting for a few weeks and out of the blue in the middle of January 2022 he texts me just to sext it’s usually at 5AM & one day a week. Earlier this week he calls me 5x that’s usually his way of getting my attention for what he wants. I don’t mind as I honestly don’t see it as anything more then sexting. This time it was different after we had finished he proceeds to text me Him: “I’ve got some new *** that’s why I haven’t been talking to you. I know it probably hurts but you deserve to know “ Me: “ I don’t want to know..please don’t do that to that person. Now I feel like a horrible person.” Him: “Okay that’s why I’ll stop. I still want you to know that we’re friends and I’m here for you “ “Ok?” “You were always good to me. Hopefully one day I can be as good of a friend as you were to me “ I didn’t respond as I was heartbroken but also angry with myself to believe that this person had used me until he could find himself someone else to be with or have sex with. It shocked me because he told me he didn’t want a relationship (at least with me) and then proceeds to tell me he got “new ***”. In all honesty I’m confused as to why he would mention it in the first place when I’ve told him before I didn’t want to know if he got involved with someone. I did at one point consider him my best friend. Now I just feel like he wants me to be his friend just for his sake and peace of mind. I haven’t messaged him back and don’t know what I’ll do if he does contact me again. (it’s hard for me to block him, I just felt the need to mention that & I don’t follow him on any social media we communicate through texting) I would just like some insight on why he would text me that? and then still want to communicate as friends and be their for me. In all honesty I don’t wanna bother him or anything he has going on with that person b/c it’s not my place anymore. I’m just sad but I’m choosing not to be his friend for the sake of my happiness even though I’ve been crying a lot since he texted me that.
  6. It’s been a number of years since I was here last, and I’m only coming back because way back then I was a mess my last name was aftershock879 if anyone wanted to read back. maybe I can try and help others who were where I was, trying to get back with an ex, it literally consumed me for the longest time. I did actually end up getting back together with her, but it didn’t last and it was me that ended up finishing it with her (I worked with her) it’s probably been over 10 years since that happened. fast forward to now, I’m happily married to my best friend, we have kids and are happy, happier than I’d ever been with my ex. don’t give up hope, I let my ex treat me like crap and pandered to her demands, I lost friends in the process. don’t let them change who you are, you’ll only end up regretting the things you did because of having rose tinted glasses on. listen to your friends and family, they can see what it’s doing to you, I spent hours talking about it to anyone who would listen it was only when my brother pulled me to one side and basically told me straight. They can see your hurt, they are looking in from the outside, when you’re in it you don’t see what they do. it was only after I realised how I’d acted, I was looking for anything that gave me hope, which how I found this site. reading hundreds of threads, people all the same as me, looking for answers, any answers. I read back and I cringe at how I acted but that’s what love does right, it beats the crap out of you, or so I thought. When you find the person you should be with you know, and it’s always unexpected, it will could be your ex. Just make sure you stay true to who you are, never settle. Even recently I’ve had texts off her saying she still loved me and regretted what happened, a long time ago that’s all I thought I ever wanted. Not now, not one part of me even cared, I let go of that a long time ago. We we’re colleagues, and a period I look back not with fondness more of a realisation that I deserved better then and where I am now is where I’m supposed to be, happy, content, looking forward to the future and watching my kids grow. Please don’t give up, there’s always hope. Surround yourself with people who love you, keep busy, go to the gym, go running play Xbox/PlayStation. you’ll feel better for it, trust me. Music always helped me get through rough times a few songs stood out for me. The best deceptions - Dashboard confessional Rootless Tree - Damien Rice Reckless - You me and Six Not sure if this will help anyone, but I hope it just shows that no matter how low you feel there’s always light at the end of the tunnel. Take it easy everyone.
  7. I have gone through this before. Im on my 4th breakup with my ex. But the worst feeling in the world is having feelings for someone who no longer wants to be with you, hang out with you, see you or call you. It happened suddenly, I was not expecting it. I feel lots of pain, and though I wont do anything stupid the impotence is so much that I just wish I was dead in order not to feel this. Help me cope please. I miss him and want to move to his city and do anything posible to make it work again, but I know he has blocked me out and that there is absoultely nothing I can do to change it. I think of him every day, all the time. Pleople are getting sick of me, and there is nothing I can do to change his mind and make him love me. Help me please
  8. So my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. Rightfully so, I had a tough year and I took it out on my relationship. I had horrible communication skills, would turn cold when I was angry and towards the end got very controlling. The love is real but after doing no contact for a month she said that she does not see a future where we are happy together and that that door is closed. She is reluctant to meet even for a coffee. In the past two months I have been doing nothing but reflecting, therapy and reading about relationships and communication and healing past wounds. I want to show her I have changed but she thinks we are incompatible irrespective of change and growth. I know for a fact this is not the case and that she is just hurt. How can she say that after two years? I am so lost and I need to get her back. Please help.
  9. I have been in a relationship with the most wonderful man for the past 6 months. When I met him he had been separated from his ex for about 18 months. Neither of us were expecting it but when we met we just clicked from the start and decided to go with it. We’ve always been very open with each other. I was aware that it wasn’t long since his ex left him and always wanted to be sure that he was ready for something new so we have always talked about it. He asked me to be his girlfriend after a couple of months and our relationship has been incredible. We have met each other’s families, spent weekends away together and our relationship has been progressing well. He treats me really well, my friends think he is great and we are very well suited. He is also an incredibly loyal, genuine and nice person (in massive contrast to what I’ve been used to before!!). However, it seems he’s been having a bit of a wobble recently. He’s about to start a brand new job/career and he says that meeting me has urged him to sort his life out in that respect. He says that his life is a bit of a mess at the moment. I’ve also noticed that he’s been holding back a bit more whereas before he has always worn his heart on his sleeve. We had a long talk about it a couple of nights ago and he explained that although he is over his ex, he’s not yet fully over the hurt that the break up caused (she left him). And whilst he cares about me very deeply and even loves me, he has also been reflecting on why he has been more distant recently. He says that when he met me he had spent a lot of time healing and was just ready to start really enjoying being single but then I came along and he wasn’t expecting it or looking for it. Our relationship is very different to the one he had with his ex as he says he basically lived a single life alongside her. Whilst we are both very independent people, we enjoy spending time together which, in hindsight, maybe means the relationship has progressed quite quickly. He confided in a friend recently about how he was feeling, who asked him if maybe it was too soon and I think he’s been reflecting on this. It came as a bit of a shock to be honest as he’s always been so open with me I was surprised to realise that he had been feeling like this. I’ve asked him whether he wants to carry on and he says he absolutely does. That he is fully committed to this and wants us to continue enjoying getting to know each other and building on what we have. He says he doesn’t want to wreck the possibility of being with somebody who could be ‘the one’ just because he’s at a weird time in his life, and that he just wanted to be completely open with me. But at the same time he’s been worried that recently I’ve overtaken him with where we are in our relationship and that although he does see a future with me, he just wants to concentrate on the present for now. The funny thing is, since talking about it he has actually become more affectionate again. We saw each other again last night and I asked how he was. He said that since being completely open with me about everything, he actually feels closer to me and feels good about everything going forward but is worried that he may have pushed me away. I’m currently going through the motions of reflecting on all of this. It has made me worry...what if it is too soon for him?! Everything he has done has shown me that he very much cares for me and I really don’t want us to give up on this. But at the same time, I also don’t want to get hurt if he suddenly realises that he’s not ready. My gut is telling me to just slow it down and take it at his pace. But if I’m being honest it has made me feel more emotionally insecure around him. I have been hurt before and I don’t want to be in that position again. I guess I’m just trying to work out the best way forward so thoughts and comments would be appreciated. Sorry for the long post and thank you to anyone who had read this far!
  10. Hello... I'm 34y old and I met a very cool and beautiful 31y old girl on a dating website, I really liked her a lot but I was emotionally unavailable due to my previous relationship, I was with a crazy person who were telling lies all the time, menacing me of suicide etc... I lost tons of weight, could not eat because of this bad person... So when I met this new girl, I let her know about the crazy relationship i had before, and I told her that I was feeling "empty" and needed time.. We started our relationship and It was awesome at first, we both loves anime, manga, movies etc... after a few months she even talked about our futur etc (and in my head I though It was kinda fast to talk about this). Well months passed but i still had some issues, "feeling empty" I wanted to be alone the week and wanted to see her only on week-end... (She didn't like that, and I agree with her). I was still feeling empty, and she was telling my stories that didn't help me like : "I got rid of my best friend because she said that and that, I got rid of this person too, My mother is lucky to be my mother because i'd like to get rid of her too, I got rid of the guy because he did that and that." She got also very angry at me one day because she was waiting for me in her car and i came 15mins late, she was really really upset that it almost killed our day. I was thinking to myself "wow, If I open myself too much, and she get rid of me..." Wasn't helping me AT ALL... And after 6 months, she decided to get rid of me lol ^^ We had an argument about a silly joke I made, I like to make jokes all the time and she said "too much jokes, not enough of love", saying jokes is sometimes a way to get closer to the people I appreciate, but it's another story. She said my jokes are getting annoying, I don't show enough and I don't see her enough, and we always pay half/half at the restaurant... I did my best to show her my regret, I told her I'll change, i bought her a gift, I said that I don't want to loose her, that I love her, I kissed her hands (I cried too, It's bad I know) but no... She said we should remain friends because she doesn't want to cut contact because she likes me... After 2 weeks chasing her, she didn't even want to see me in person she said she was not ready, so I said "ok I give up" she replied "ok 😞 sorry to be annoying, wish you the best" and she deleted me everywhere... I tried NC for 10 days and came back she replied to me but it was a bit cold, I tried NC again for 10 days more, came back, I just said that I was thinking about her and wanted to say hello she replied "oh 🙂 " "you can come saying hello anytime you want to", then we talked a bit, about some series on netflix, but it was just being polite, I was saying 3 sentences she was replying two words... So I stopped talking and i'm back in NC for 10 days now... and I feel bad again, I miss her... After all this chasing, i'm thinking myself that I should leave her alone and see if she decides to give another try with me later, but since she left because I was "neglecting" her, I always feel I should try to show my interest more and more... She is a military, and a VERY stubborn person, if many people tell her a movie is good she won't see it just to do the opposit of what people think lol If i still have a slim chance, what should i do ? trying again or let her go ? thanks...
  11. My ex and I have sporadically kept in touch since we broke up in Dec. I officially broke up w/ him b/c our break-up was inevitable. He's moving to do his residency in NY (we lived in FL) and I asked him about out future and he told me he doesn't see us together and would not ask me to move w/ him. We had been dating a year at this point. he really wanted to remain friends, but I told him I needed time. he's kept in touch with me from overseas (he's been doing rotations in other countries and staying in NY for interviews) and now that he's back (3 mos later) he wants to hang out. I am not interested in him anymore- i've moved on, albeit still hurt. I feel okay w/o him, but probably b/c I accepted him leaving long before we broke up and I never got too close tp him-except towards the end both of us started to fall. I want to hang out w/ him b/c I do care for him deeply, but I'm afraid it might take me a few steps back. He's a great guy and fun to hang out with and he always wants me in his life. but I don't think that's healthy. i don't want to take steps back. He just wants to hang out as friends and I'd like that, but I don't know if I'm ready. right now, my feelings are closed off, but like has happened in the past, they might come rushing back when we see each other.
  12. My bf gets jealous very easily and dislikes the fact that i have one gf and all the rest are guys. I don't like girls... i don't like how they are two faced and the conversation topics that they have. I LOVE my bestfriend with all my heart though she's great. However he really hates the fact that I'm still good friends with ALL my ex bf's as well and that I still hang out with them. 2 nights ago i called him and he asked me wat i was gunna do all day. i said well i might be going to brians to help him clean up his house that got trashed after the kegger. he got upset, so i told him i wouldn't go. Then on msn brian's name was thanks so much Phil And Sara u guys rock! he got REALLY upset (he was at his friends at the time) and discussed it with his friends. Hes like so wat did u do yesterday... i said nothing i stayed home. He said you're lyin to me now i saw ur name in his msn name. I was like yah it said Phil and Sara.... I have an H in my name. I think he believed me but his friends didn't quite. And I was telling the truth. Ne wayz it wasn't that big of a deal... but I still want to be able to hang out with my ex's and have my bf realize that i love him and that they're just old flames that won't reignite themselves. How can i reassure him?
  13. Has anyone here ever made the tough decision of ending the current relationship to try things with the ex again. I have been going out with a girl for 9 months, sort of a LDR as i see her twice a week. I had no idea it was going to last this long and she was going to be an awesome person. I'll admit i was more into the sex thing at 1st then she grew on me and she truly is awesome. The problem is im still friends with my ex and i often think about her and how it could have been. Shes a great person also and now im split up between 2 awesome people. Most people its hard to find one good person nevermind 2. I been apart from my ex for almost 2 years. Has anyone ever made this tough decision or has advice. Is it normal to think about what if. I mean why do i think about what could be if i have something good now. I think the biggest mistake i made in this was to remain friends with my ex but now its too late to simply end our friendship and its not right to end it with my current gf to try things with my ex. let me know what you guys think.
  14. Do you fell pushing your ex to talk about his feelings pushes him further away? I could go on for days about what going on but its long. Have an ex who is 22 i am 25 we are having a baby. Boss wants him to date his daugheter tried getting them two together while we were dating. When we broke up ex told me about this. Mind swings back and for to we should be friend we should try and work things out, to back off, to i don;t think we could ever be friends. He says he care about me respects taht fact that I'm carring his baby. I hea things about him and ask him and he says he is not dating her or sleeping with her and then ask me why would he have to lie to me. He spend pleanty of time over there and at the bar with the 18 yr old daughter I don't really think reality has set in that I am pregnant and I think want him to talk about it or his feelings is pushing him away? Is that possible? Maybe a little time of not talking and if he would actually see that I am showing it would set in?
  15. Hello, I've been seeing a girl for 4 months now. Here's the story. I met her 10 months after my ex of 3 yrs broke up with me. My new gf is great, but I don't see myself being with her long term. About one month into seeing the new girl, my ex found out about it and told me she sees me with her in the future. My ex broke up with me because she said she wasnt ready for a committment yet and she wanted to do her own thing for awhile. She promised me she hasn't been dating anyone while we were apart and had no plans to. I still talk to my ex over email and bottom line is I plain miss her. I'm just not sure what to do with my current gf, she has been nothing but great to me the whole time she's known me, but I just don't feel I could be around her 24/7 in the future. I'm afraid of hurting her feelings too, she will be very crushed, i know it. I could keep the relationship going, but i'd only be cheating myself, and leading her on. Thank you all for reading any suggestions are welcome
  16. I've become heartless, cold and angry, yet i don't know why, I got over a tough relationship with my ex girl and found myself angry. I was seeing other women after that but I could'nt care less about them. Lately at work i've been somewhat of an a..hole to my co-workers, I don't talk to the family much and don't really care much about my close friends problems. I know it's not because of the break up, I got over that, but I still feel like I failed as a man or a person in general, I'm unhappy with my life, I don't wanna be where I am, but i'm stuck, I support my sick parents financially, there are so many things I want and can't have, I feel alone but don't really want anyone in my life right now cause I don't wanna bring them down with me it's a dilemma I can't figure out, I know theres gotta be something I could do. I know i'm not depressed or in need of a shrink, I'm sure it's something simple...I hope
  17. It's been some time but I'm lightly seeing my ex (not the resent one, but the ex b-4 her). It seems like just under 2 years ago, I would have done anything to get back with this girl. (even distroy a relation ship that deserved a chance) But now that she's calling me all the time, I see how much wanting what we can't have can mess with what we need. For those of you out there who know you will move on, remember this is only a small set back. Pick your self up and move in your direction, for you. For the rest of us who aren't sure, think of it this way, all this wanting and needing may just be in our heads (to a point). We all know loosing someone is hard and it's going to hurt, but the amount we let it hurt may be in our control. I guess it's like climbing a big mountin. At the start all we see is this big thing in our way casting a shadow on our lives. Cant see over it or around it. But on the way up you'll start to see the land around you and where you started and once at the top, you can see all. How far you've come, everything around you that this big rock was blocking and where you want to go next. For those of you that are half way up this moutain and still think thay need that one someone to go any further, stop. Keep looking up, theres still a ways to go. Dont give up or give yourself limits n-till you've reached the top, and by that time you will see. That you are the only person you truly need back. The one you're missing is you. We loose ourselves in others so often it drives me crazy. I've just now reached the top, so I still have much to see. I just want so much to let everyone know it's not so bad. Just give it time. Things will come around and when your YOU again, you will know where to go and what you want to see next. There are people who fall and wont get back up. I was one of those people, but this site picked me up and got me half way. I owe every one a big thanks. Don't give up on the ones you love, but get you back before you try to get them back. Your mind may change. PS sorry if this is crazy, I had to type very fast. It's time to go to lunch. phoenix
  18. This is a crazy situation by I need to vent. My ex girlfriend was a very loving, caring, hard working woman and we planned our future together and I was going to propose to her MAY 05, but July 20, 2004, 2 days after we celebrated our 4 year anniversary we decided that we would step back so that she could get herself together and bring as much to the table as I was. Well the next day she was picked up by someone from my past that had disrespected me, like my girl and who my girl was attracted to. This person was someone that I was in a relationship for a year,but it didn't work and I broke up with her. It hurt me to know that all the time that I was trying to compromise as far as them being friends that my girl of 4 years probably was cheating on me. I found out after the break up that they were talking on the phone all day and at odd times of morning. My ex of four yrs has been spending the night, taking trips and having sex with her and I told her that there is no way that we will ever get back together b/c she played me w/ someone that I had been with. I have moved out and am buying a house and I have progressed in my career, I still see her out at the clubs and arm and arm with my previous ex but she plays it off like they are not in a relationship and that she just needed a break from being in a relationship but to me she's acting like she is in one. She's not the same woman that I once loved and she hurt me....I do miss her but I don't want to ever talk to her or see her again. She has told people that we will get back together. There are times when I want to understand why she did this and then there are times when I really don't care and I wish that Karma would come now. She wants to be friends and call me and talk to me but I figure that she has lied, cheated and disrespected me to be where she is so she needs to go ahead and leave me alone. I just don't understand why she won't just leave me alone and forget that I ever existed, it would make things alot easier. What is it that she is thinking? Or is she not thinking at all?
  19. well my ex and i broke up over 7 months ago. we had not been talking until about a month ago.. we were both transferring to a new university (the same one) and we were both a little nervous. i guess he needed me there for support because he contacted me and we started hanging out again.. things were going WONDERFULLY and we were seeing eachother a few times a week. we spent valentines day together (his idea) and i seriously thought we would get back together. well this past friday he got angry and pretty much told me to get lost because i got mad (not even really mad, just asked him not to use the word with me )when he jokingly called me a b*tch.. well he said we can't go on the way we had been, we need to be just friends because thats all we are, that he doesn't ever see us getting back together... the same old stuff he has been telling me all along. well thats not the bad part, i took that and i left. i didn't contact him all weekend and i was just feeling sort of like "whatever" about the situation. i was tired of being his friend when it was convenient for him, or when he NEEDED me in his life. he got comfortable with his new situation (living away from home) and no longer needed me.. whatever.. well, here is the kicker last night at 1 we get a call from my dad, he and my grandpa were out of town visiting my aunt and my grandpa had a heart attack and passed away. i am very upset by all of this, but still sort of in shock and it hasn't really sunk in. this morning i called my ex to let him know (they were close when we were together) he wasn't happy to be getting a call from me, he did sort of the "what" answer.. but he said he was sorry and if i needed to talk i could call him. well just about 30 minutes ago i was REALLY feeling down and i called him, like he said i could.. he said that he coulnd't really talk because it "costs him (well my mom) too much because i don't have a lost of mintues left.. if you want, i'll call you when i get home and give you the number at the appartment" i said "no, thats alright, i'll let you go. bye" and i hung up. i COULND"T believe it, i would spend ANY amount of my money/time if he EVER Needed to talk to me, about anything... i am just floored by his comment and can't believe it. its not like im just some stranger to him, i was with him for over 2 years. i spent days/nights talking to him when he was stressing about his MATH classes for goodness sakes. i stayed TWO hours after school so i could meet him after his class to hang out because was having a bad day, and he can't spend a few minutes using his presious money to comfort me a little bit when im going through this??? i just don't get it. do i really mean THAT little to him?????????????
  20. Well two things here. one which i've asked mates but dont really understand. 1) my ex recently has been talking to me a lot more. boefore it would be me starting themsn convo's and stuff but recently shes been doing it a lot. and when the conversation died she randomly said 'guess what, i bought a hat'. so i thought i must be back in again as we are goin to the same college next year(we currently goto diffrent schools and live 15 miles apart). then she tells me she has a bf.(thats the first one since we split up 5 months ago) ah even since then she has contiuned talking to me more. this really confuzzled me. like i said ive asked mates(inc one who is like her best friend) but they just said that she wants 2 b friends. but we never really talked before so why has she started now? also i sent her a letter sayin how i felt basically and im not sure if she got it but if she did then she's ignored it becasue we've talked since but she didnt say anything. 2) there is also one of her friends who ive been texting quite a lot (about 100 msgs in about a week ) and from that i got the impression she like me. but ive never actully met her so on sunday we went up to london with a few of her mates, one of which i know and she is trying to set us up(she didnt it to me last time with the my ex above), but when we were wondering around(shopping for dresses) we didnt really talk much. i've been told shes shy but she didnt seem that shy really. so what should i think? is it because we were out with her friends maybe? i'm gonna try and see if we could go out togehter. i did before and she said yes but her mum wouldnt let her cos she had work to do. so what to do? i think(hope) that im gonna start goin out with the second girl and see how things go. but i dunno wot to do about the first one cos im still in love with her.
  21. this is gonna sound weird but i haven't had sex for sometime due to my breakup. i went out with this girl last nite to try to get over my ex but everything was all weird. this girl was all over me and we ended up doing it but i couldn't stop thinking about my ex, now this girl keeps calling me asking me when we can see each other again and i don't know how to tell her i'm not that into it. she's being way to aggressive, i prefer to take things slower and i just need some more time. i enjoyed her company but wasn't ready for the sex especially so quick, now i think i lost respect for her cause it was our first nite together and we already had sex. she said she just wanted to make me happy, but i feel you need to get to no a girl better before having sex and now she is moving way to fast for me.
  22. hey um i got dumped almost a month ago and here is a poem i wrote the other day about how i felt tell me what i should fix and what not lol enjoy!! .>!* As i sit here Alone All i think about is you I have no clue Couldn't you see i needed you I loved you I wished you were still my boo I'm differnt now My world is full of sadness I'll be full of happyness sometime But its your own miss I use to miss you so much My heart was broken But right now i just want to give you a punch You have moved on And so will I But right now I just want to eat a pie Ihope you realize what you left I'm not the best but i was the best i could ahve been And you acted like you were ten.tell me what u think of it !!!
  23. I have read almost a million posts on here and everything that has been said has fit my sitch. we were together for 14mo. me 28 she 24. going through a rough time the arguing. she secrelty removed her belongings from my place, started talking to ex flings, began to avoid me so we had the talk. i could tell she couldn't hold it in any longer. during the talk we both cried and said our love yous. i gave her a letter I had typed up earlier in the day to take with her, but i also read it for he wheeping. Her reasons were that I said things she just can't forget, which i owned up too. She said she still loves me, felt like she was making a mistake, she was confused. I of course was supportive towards her decision, but told her I didn't want to give up on us. Told her I didn't want it to end, but if that is how she felt than that is what she needed to do. Beginnig that night I found this board and read about NC so I started NC right away. Now what I need advice on: Although I found out today that my mom sent her an email the day after we split talking about how much my parents would miss her and how much she meant to them and how devastated i was. Well I guess my ex responded and it was really high level. for instance she thanked them for the kind words they had for her. She would miss them also and would like to keep in touch. my ex said she would never erase the memoris and would miss them. she also said she is in a bad spot right now because she had tons of emotions swirling around in her head. Then my mom tells me that she emailed her back that she was like the daughter she never had and that she would always be there for her. My mom also told her about a trip I paid for to surprise my ex, which I got the deposit back for, and I know my mom didn't know it was a surprise because i didn't tell her it was. my mom thought my ex knew and wanted her to know I was a good man and would return her part of the money. Althought didn't know of the plans and my ex didn't need to know this and now she does. the ex and I would always take trips that we planned together, which I know my mom only assumesd. my mom also told her that if she moved on that was great and they were happy. She also mentioned to her how breaks can be good for relationships. My mom finally told me this today because she felt bad and wanted to let me know she would not email my ex again unless my ex contacted her. Even though it has been two weeks since my breakup, my mom wants me to move on, quickly. After that long story, I guess I want to know if my mom screwed whatever chance I have at self pride. Also let me know if relatives can break the NC rule and it be okay? I know my mom had good intentions. Let me know your thoughts and if you ever experienced this sort of situation before. I had dated exs where their ex boyfriend's parents still kept in touch. BTW I haven't heard from my ex since the night we broke up.
  24. Hello everyone, just wondered what you make of the following. My ex and I broke up 5 months ago after a year and half together including 5 - 6 months of living together. It was really her who decided we weren't right for each other and we should break up. She said at the time, we'll always be friends, and I hope so much we can be friends etc etc. We have made a few attempts at being friends but things are normally a bit tense, the last time we met she was 25 minutes late and couldn't remember whether we had said 8 or 8.30. I was pretty annoyed about this and told her. So fast forward a couple of months and I have a new gf, dunno whether she is seeing anyone or not - i think she is though, a guy from her work. She emails me on Monday (Valentines day) to say "I really think we had best not be in contact with each other as I don't believe that things will manage to be friendly for a good while yet. take care of yourself." I replied to her saying "ok then if that's what you think, although I am assuming you mean that I wouldn't manage to be friendly to you which I hope would not be true, anyway I don't feel like I can try to make contact with you anymore, so it's up to you. I'm seeing someone else now anyway, but I did hope we could be friends, I guess not though. maybe see you around some time I guess." Why would she decide this - is she trying to muck me around ? I didn't tell her who I am seeing as it is a girl we both used to work beside. It looks like we'll never speak to each other again to be honest, since there is no way now I can make contact with her. Although now I'm not really too bothered about that other than a bit sad that we'll become total strangers. Just wondered what you all thought. Steve.
  25. Hey people.... Em... i think i have a really bad problem with jealousy. It's just my bf talks to alot of girls and i know he's in contact with his ex's eventhough he tells me he's not.... and i don't know why i just feel paranoid and jealous. Well i'm not sure if it's more paranoia than jealousy... just when things got bad and i took him back as my bf... he emailed his ex like straight away and told her... like.. as if its any of her business! i just dont understand it
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