New Journal

[mylolita]

13 hours ago, Seraphim said:

Absolutely put your money in silver and gold. My brother has been doing it for years. He holds no debt and never has. He buys even cars cash. He talks about many other things as well and has been for about a decade . 

Interesting Seraphim! 
 

I can’t believe the UK have offloaded pretty much the majority of their gold reserve which as you know, physically backs up the federal reserve and the banks! 
 

What do you think about bitcoin?

 

Some people are obsessed with it here. They think it’s the get rich quick for 5 years time. I have zero clue about it, absolutely nothing. I know nothing when it comes to computers and programming and software so this stuff always boggles my mind! 
 

My sister bought a smidge of one, not a full bitcoin. This was about 6 years ago. Many of our friends have. They seem to think it’s a sound investment but I don’t understand it and know nothing so it’s not something I would do. I’d probably rather buy a flat and rent that out. At least that’s something tangible and physical, so I can wrap my head around that 🤣

 

Yes the cash buy is a wise move. I don’t understand why anyone wants an absolutely brand new car to just drive it out and have it depreciate by thousands off the forecourt. Maybe they are so wealthy they don’t care! 
 

x

[Seraphim]

1 hour ago, mylolita said:

Interesting Seraphim! 
 

I can’t believe the UK have offloaded pretty much the majority of their gold reserve which as you know, physically backs up the federal reserve and the banks! 
 

What do you think about bitcoin?

 

Some people are obsessed with it here. They think it’s the get rich quick for 5 years time. I have zero clue about it, absolutely nothing. I know nothing when it comes to computers and programming and software so this stuff always boggles my mind! 
 

My sister bought a smidge of one, not a full bitcoin. This was about 6 years ago. Many of our friends have. They seem to think it’s a sound investment but I don’t understand it and know nothing so it’s not something I would do. I’d probably rather buy a flat and rent that out. At least that’s something tangible and physical, so I can wrap my head around that 🤣

 

Yes the cash buy is a wise move. I don’t understand why anyone wants an absolutely brand new car to just drive it out and have it depreciate by thousands off the forecourt. Maybe they are so wealthy they don’t care! 
 

x

I literally know nothing about Bitcoin. 
My brother likes BMW. His first one he bought used but the one he has now was brand new. It is a gorgeous turquoise. Some kind of sport model I think. 

[itsallgrand]

I liked hearing about martial bliss' garden. She was doing some cool things with her yard. I'm looking forward to being able to plant. It's so therapeutic. And fresh new veg again. Will perk up my spirits. 

 

[mylolita]

On 3/23/2024 at 4:19 PM, Seraphim said:

I literally know nothing about Bitcoin. 
My brother likes BMW. His first one he bought used but the one he has now was brand new. It is a gorgeous turquoise. Some kind of sport model I think. 

Sounds fantastic Seraphim! 
 

There are many jokes here in England about BMW drivers or, “beamers” 🤣 stuff about, if you think your job is useless, just remember, there is someone who goes to work and puts indicators on BMW’s 🤣🤣🤣

 

I’ve been lucky enough to drive some very nice cars whilst still being young. It’s been a fun luxury, but by no means an essential. You covert it until you get it. Once you get it, you just look to the next. The age old torment of the human condition! 
 

You and me seem to be in the same boat regarding Bitcoin! Glad I’m not alone! 
 

x

[mylolita]

23 minutes ago, itsallgrand said:

I liked hearing about martial bliss' garden. She was doing some cool things with her yard. I'm looking forward to being able to plant. It's so therapeutic. And fresh new veg again. Will perk up my spirits. 

 

Ah! Same! You’re a big gardener aren’t you grand? 
 

I have an L shaped walled yard at the mo. We live in a Victorian terrace house with a lawn at the front and old 18th century walls and wrought iron gates at the front also.

 

The back is small but I raised the floor up, had nice stone flags laid and deep beds next to the wall. I’d like to get some large potted trees as well soon, and looking at garden furniture and in the summer a wooden playhouse for the kids! My friend who lives across the road and has a landscaping company, got me a Virginia Creeper because, I’ve always loved them and wanted something to cover the wall fast!!

 

If you have any evergreen tree suggestions, I’d love to hear them! We’re coastal so the wind really gets up!
 

x

[itsallgrand]

That sounds beautiful. Love the walls covered in greenery as well. I haven't attempted that but I love how it looks. 

Hah I wouldn't say a big gardener but I enjoy it and I'm getting better as I go. That's part of what I love, you can keep learning your whole life about it, and there's so much to try. My knowledge is pretty limited to what grows well here, so I feel unqualified to give advice on planting in England! There's a real rich history and I bet you could find a lot of nice people in your community who would love to give you advice though lol. Bonus to that is like your landscaper friend, gardeners loves sharing what they have. 

[itsallgrand]

I got to spend some time just myself and my niece. She has grown into such a beautiful young woman, inside and out. I'm so proud of her and she's lots of fun to spend time with. She's so excited about the work she is doing now and told me how she's the only female in her new job but it doesn't bother her at all. But I could tell she's proud she's holding her own with the big boys! And she should be. I love her gumption to dive in and go for what she wants. 

It's funny what people remember too. She has stayed with us on and off for short periods as her home life has been less than great growing up. We spent many a night too out searching for her in her teens during a rocky period for her. I've hunted her down, pulled her out of some situations, and she was not so pleased with me at the time. But she always left with me! We had lots of chats in little hole in the walls at ungodly hours. She remembers what we ate lol.

I freaking love that woman. My SO was like "she's a good kid". I said "she's a woman now, not a kid". He said " she's a good KID". LOL . I guess even uncles can have a hard time coming to terms that the cute little kid is fully grown up. But she's earned being recognized as grown. She is building a life and stability for herself, pays her own way, and is already thinking and doing things that lend that hand out to help others. 

 

[Batya33]

On 3/26/2024 at 11:14 AM, itsallgrand said:

I got to spend some time just myself and my niece. She has grown into such a beautiful young woman, inside and out. I'm so proud of her and she's lots of fun to spend time with. She's so excited about the work she is doing now and told me how she's the only female in her new job but it doesn't bother her at all. But I could tell she's proud she's holding her own with the big boys! And she should be. I love her gumption to dive in and go for what she wants. 

It's funny what people remember too. She has stayed with us on and off for short periods as her home life has been less than great growing up. We spent many a night too out searching for her in her teens during a rocky period for her. I've hunted her down, pulled her out of some situations, and she was not so pleased with me at the time. But she always left with me! We had lots of chats in little hole in the walls at ungodly hours. She remembers what we ate lol.

I freaking love that woman. My SO was like "she's a good kid". I said "she's a woman now, not a kid". He said " she's a good KID". LOL . I guess even uncles can have a hard time coming to terms that the cute little kid is fully grown up. But she's earned being recognized as grown. She is building a life and stability for herself, pays her own way, and is already thinking and doing things that lend that hand out to help others. 

 

I had very similar interactions with my oldest niece who is now in her mid 30s.  She even went to live with her other aunt for a couple of months as a teenager and I paid for piano lessons.  We also did sleepovers! Last one was for her 21st bday and she said - "don't have kids -my coworkers hate being moms " (meaning all the work/sleepless nights).  Well -I didn't tell her but I was about 7 weeks pregnant lol.  Now she has 3 kids and loves being a mom! I'm so delighted you've been such a part of her life -and that you're delighting in and beaming at the woman she's become!

[itsallgrand]

32 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I had very similar interactions with my oldest niece who is now in her mid 30s.  She even went to live with her other aunt for a couple of months as a teenager and I paid for piano lessons.  We also did sleepovers! Last one was for her 21st bday and she said - "don't have kids -my coworkers hate being moms " (meaning all the work/sleepless nights).  Well -I didn't tell her but I was about 7 weeks pregnant lol.  Now she has 3 kids and loves being a mom! I'm so delighted you've been such a part of her life -and that you're delighting in and beaming at the woman she's become!

It's a really neat part of this point in my life! Seeing the kids who I've been loving up as little kids become adults and doing their own thing. I imagine it's this feeling of pride and delight on steroids for moms and dads. 

[Batya33]

10 hours ago, itsallgrand said:

It's a really neat part of this point in my life! Seeing the kids who I've been loving up as little kids become adults and doing their own thing. I imagine it's this feeling of pride and delight on steroids for moms and dads. 

LOL yes and no -part of it is like PLEASE STOP TOO FAST! I tell him if his legs keep getting longer he'll owe us rent for taking up so much room.  But I love the growing independence and kind of enjoy the push pull of the teenage "mom!!! you're embarrassing me!!" vs. "I loved being in my man cave" (his description of when he was in the womb LOL).

Also -you may see this too - you see yourself -flaws and all -reflected in the temperament/likes/dislikes - if you're close then yes she might emulate the awesome parts of you and you know maybe some other stuff LOL.

[itsallgrand]

Something I've been thinking a lot about lately and working on is taking it more easy on myself. I've noticed that if I don't nail something within one or two tries, I'm embarrassed by that and feel badly about myself. And the self talk gets harsher. I don't expect this of other people and I think no less of them. I only apply it to me. It makes little logical sense as there are so many things to learn or achieve that take persistence and some "failure" along the way to becoming adept at. Life is a series of attempts with failure and success as a natural rhythm! And I have noticed a lot of successful people become good at putting "fails" into perceptive that doesn't weigh them down. So it's something I see as worthwhile, learning to stop being harsh to myself for something that is just a part of life.

Every day lately, I've been carving out a bit of time to reflect on what I am carrying around on my shoulders that isn't serving any helpful purpose. It's amazing how much of this can go on unconsciously under the radar. Just bringing it into focus is liberating in itself. Like hey, there's judgement about where you are at with this. And hey, there's fear of disappointing someone and dealing with that. 

I've always struggled with being ok with disappointing someone I love. And it's not like I've been judged harshly or had a lot of critical eyes on me at all. My upbringing was warm and very forgiving. Perhaps it's because I've had little critism, that I fear it so much? I don't know.

 

 

[Batya33]

Love this insight.  I do the same and need to change the same.  I also see it as self sabotaging -thinking of a friend of mine - being hypercritical of yourself but instead of taking action.  So it's like a double failure -you've failed yourself with too harsh criticism and another failure at your stated goals. 

My friend - my age range - wants to start exercising and also wants to work outside the home.  She regularly states the last few years when she's going to "start" at each of these goals typically related to her kids' schedules. It's all talk every single time.  But she also regularly criticizes herself for not having a job and/or not being in shape/health issues. 

So to me the failure is - know thyself and give yourself a break.  Before you put pressure on yourself to attain a certain goal evaluate the goal and whether it's realistic -or maybe a watered down version is more realistic.  Otherwise you're setting yourself up for failure - because you'll make those deadlines of when you are going to start and realize when they approach -well - no - I still can't because ____.  It's about self-honesty "I'm not a failure - I simply have unrealistic expectations right now, I lack the motivation/the mojo or even the logistics to make this happen right now and that doesn't make me a failure it makes me honest."

But then there is the persistence piece for sure. I guess what I mean is yes even with persistence there are failures along the way -you look for that job, you interview -you don't get it - you practice for an interview and give a less than stellar answer to something you "should have" known.  But the problem is - what about the feeling of failure when you realize you don't have the level of motivation.  I'm a go getter -so I -find it somehow, somewhere if it's something I really want.  And I stay honest about the reasons why I can't without great difficulty do whatever it is.  If it's a lame excuse -that's sort of a failure but maybe then it's a question of examining what do you need to increase the motivation? Bribing yourself? Or is it because the goal itself is unrealistic.  I think that's very hard.  But seems worthwhile to explore.

[itsallgrand]

I definitely think I do often make the goal a bit unrealistic as to where I'm at. Like I expect to be able to power through it even if realistically giving it more time and practice would probably be better. Then I feel badly about it. 

Nice, you helped me identify a part of my approach I could improve already. I'm glad I shared this if even for that! And it feels good writing what's on my mind too. 

[Batya33]

3 hours ago, itsallgrand said:

I definitely think I do often make the goal a bit unrealistic as to where I'm at. Like I expect to be able to power through it even if realistically giving it more time and practice would probably be better. Then I feel badly about it. 

Nice, you helped me identify a part of my approach I could improve already. I'm glad I shared this if even for that! And it feels good writing what's on my mind too. 

I am so glad -what you wrote lifted my spirits on a day when I'm a bit out of sorts about work.  I know what you mean about powering through.  Not wanting to stop, to rest.  To reflect even.  I know you exercise regularly like me -one thing I did since I exercise more to maintain fitness than make huge improvements is I push myself always - always -but I stopped increasing my speed a while back - I realized I'd reached my limit and my speed is really really good.  It was hard to have that boundary -i.e. the powering through mentality.  The self-competitive mentality.

Again I'm glad I could give good input.  It makes me feel good to be able to do that -what you write is insightful and wise and to know I added -is a good feeling.