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quirky last won the day on May 1 2012

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About quirky

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  • Birthday 08/28/1978
  1. Just wanted to thank you all for your input, there are lots I want to quote and answer to as any kindness or availability from others feels like gold atm. However I am struggling to be coherent and not fully able to put in any point of view forward, I am just genuinely consumed by hurt and denial. It is now 6 weeks and I don't feel like I have moved at all towards any sort of acceptance. My friends tell me I should send a text, ask for some clarification on it all so I can slowly close it and move on. The trouble is I don't want to move on. To me this was the best relationship I had an
  2. I reconciled with 4 out of 7 of my relationships, broke up again later down the line. For me personally it helped to get a better sense of closure knowing I had tried everything possible to make it work. In one instance though it hurt me even more to go back but 3 years later we were able to be on friendly terms again.
  3. Thank you for your comments and nice to e-see you again LikeWater though shame you are posting at a sad time for me! I hear you Batya33. I guess I never had that before so cannot compare. I don't understand how people just change their mind and cut you off, I feel some respect and courtesy at minimum is due if someone has invested their time in me, least I can do is an apology or even better a warning. This feels so violent to my heart - how can someone claim to love or even care for me and cut me out like I'm nothing, like some dirt he cleaned off his shoe, it's astounding and disgus
  4. I have had such a bad weekend I am still unable to accept that it is over. None of it makes sense...how can I be 'the one' one day and for him to cut me out the next. I am experiencing a huge emotional and cognitive dissonance, I really thought he was my forever person. I think also his high standards caused me more anxiety. But I still cannot see one good that comes from it. Usually when relationships have ended I have felt a slight relief or hope that I will reconnect with something that I lost in the relationship. I feel none of that now, just devastation.
  5. Today at work I was 2 seconds away from tears the whole day. When I came back home I couldn't stop sobbing. I feel so deeply hurt and rejected. He broke up with me in a 3 min conversation after promising a future. Everything moved fast I know...but somehow it felt certain..I don't know why as I haven't dived in so deep before. It really was reciprocal. I genuinely thought I had met my forever person. When you know you know, if we ended it would break me, you are the best girlfriend I have ever had..how can someone say all these things and just cut you out? After that 3 min conversation I
  6. S broke up with me suddenly 2 weeks ago. I cannot find the words still. Today is 6 months since we met.
  7. I am having a real flare up of low self esteem. I feel that S has all the good and I am 'less than'. I am also having more communication issues with him than others, I am a non native here so I often stumble on language barriers but it seems to be worse with S. We also have a different sense of humour. I find myself often frustrated when we are conversing. Either because we don't understand each other fully or because he sometimes finishes my sentences and doesn't let me tell him what I want to tell him... or the minute I have said something he has something of his own to add to the story
  8. My romance with S is developing and so is my anxiety. I am doing everything I can to keep it in check and to transcend it. I realise I need more time to do my own things as it gives me confidence. I get lost in the vortex of my desire for S and have fallen behind with EVERYTHING in my life - course, drums practice, seeing friends and eating well. On the flip side we are very smitten with each other and for once I feel mostly hopeful about someone. I am plagued with guilt towards M though. 2 weeks ago he sent me a message that he'd like to meet and see if we can fix things. So much cry
  9. [video=youtube;-ZwH7p6gXMA]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ZwH7p6gXMA http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ZwH7p6gXMA I don't know what this song says but I really like it
  10. Thank you Batya33 for wishing me well. He said he simply hasn't logged in but is happy to take all his pictures and info. I understand he had a 3 month subscription and I had 1. I actually had another mini freakout yesterday after I posted here. I had ordered the sexual health test kit, booked a film for Tuesday's date, spoken to some more of my friends about him and messaged a couple of guys from the site that I will not be meeting them as I want to focus on one person at the moment. I did things that signify some sort of commitment to S and then I became really anxious, nit picking ev
  11. Hi all, just to update my overwhelming romance has gone on another level now, S asked me to be his girlfriend on our 3rd date! I was so overwhelmed when I saw him, lost in his beauty and my all round desire for him that I could hardly listen to what he was saying until he asked that and then I was just speechless. I had to drink some wine and attempt to catch up with my feelings. I managed to articulate something along the lines that I can commit to not going on other dates but can answer his question more confidently after we have been intimate and have agreed to take our profiles down. H
  12. What is keeping you there Australia090? I echo HollyJ's comment above, do you think there is a part of you that wants to save him, do you want to be a hero in some way, prove to yourself how well balanced you are? It sounds like your own emotional and sexual needs are not covered and expending so much energy on a partner will only be detrimental to you long term. How is the couples therapy going? You ask if any of us has been there.. Not exactly but my last boyfriend was deeply unhappy. He did cater to my needs as much as he could and he really tried. However his own life was vacuous
  13. Thank you all so much for your responses as they really help. Helps to see that others also get nervous at the early stages of dating. Being in the present seems to be a common suggestion and continuing with life as normal. I have been off work this week as I am starting a new job next Monday and suspect I have had more time to think about S. It's like my whole week has been different as I don't have the usual 9-5 brain occupation. Also, I haven't been eating as well - due to the week off I have been in 'holiday' mode and ate a lot more crap food. I went back on track yesterday. Thera
  14. I have gone on 2 dates with someone and I feel taken over by those dates. I liked his online profile straight away (let's call him S) and like him physically too. We seem to have a lot in common at first glance and most importantly we seem to have shared values. He seems super keen too. We are both trying to be sensible but this is very new to me..I am usually attracted to the crazy and he seems balanced. There is a mutual attraction in all areas so far. Trouble is that..so far this is so good I find myself catastrophising and thinking the only way is downhill from here. Today I felt a lot
  15. Just sending my support sadchick83 as I am in a similar place. I am going through the breakup now 14 months later, how mad is that ha..? Particularly since I ended the relationship one would not expect the level of grief I am experiencing. It sounds really hard though that you moved and changed your life upside down and now rebuilding it, that is really challenging even if a breakup hadn't occurred. It also sounds very painful how you thought he was your forever person and had 'saved' you from a previous narcissist. This is all a process that can be unpredictable, I agree with Carus that a
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