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metrogirl last won the day on May 16 2013

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About metrogirl

  • Birthday 09/19/1970

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  1. Have you dated a woman with kids before? We tend to want to spend time with them especially if they have been away for any length of time and they probably want time with their mom which is kind of hard to have if she is on the phone with you. Just relax. If she likes you, she isn't going anywhere.
  2. He likely did what he needed to do to land a hot 18 year old, now that he has you he doesn't need to do much else because he knows you probably won't go anywhere. I'd honestly go back home to your parents and let him be an unhealthy 40 year old.
  3. You don't know that he doesn't already know. He may know and choose to stay with her for whatever reason. I think you are coming from a place of anger and resentment and I believe you really want him to suffer the way you have suffered because she isn't the one that will hurt if he leaves her. She will just get up and find another man, any man or even your ex husband.
  4. So this is a completely new guy yet very similar to the last one?
  5. I never would have guessed you guys were 50/60ish. This is more like 20/30ish behavior. Either way it isn't healthy and he needs to knock it off.
  6. I can't read through 36 pages of posts but geezus, why are you still with this guy? I remember your posts from early on, we have been members here almost the same amount of time and several if not most of your threads are about him being a complete jerk every time you two go at it. When is enough, enough? How can your son fulfill your wish for him to be a good husband when he doesn't get to witness what a good man is?
  7. Hi Renny... You know that is what killed my dad. I know I have talked about it before, either here or on facebook. He was a long time smoker, quit for 8 months, went back to smoking and eventually got quite ill. He was on many of the medications Tim's mom is on, he was also on oxygen. When I moved him in with me, he lived for another 8 months smoke free but he died anyway. Honestly, smokers that are diagnosed with COPD that continue to smoke are signing their death warrant. Even if she stops smoking now, her lungs are far too damaged. It was the saddest thing ever, to watch my dad struggle to breathe. Sigh....
  8. If it were a power thing for him as he stated, he could have sexted with you. A little dirty talk throughout the day, a picture here and there to spice things up with you but he did that with another woman. You downplay it like it was really no big deal, he didn't want her etc etc but he wanted her enough to continue to sext her throughout the entire relationship. Don't make excuses for his behavior. If you make excuses now, you will have to make more excuses later.
  9. Wow, that really sucks. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you either. I grew up an only child, always envied my friends that had siblings. It was scary to find out I had a brother but also really neat. I'm saddened that he isn't as curious about me as I am him. I see his facebook, the pictures of his son and grandchildren. They are my blood, a nephew. How cool would that have been? I always wanted to be a sister and an aunt. I would have been an awesome aunt. :(
  10. No worries..... I wanted to go and edit and post and couldn't recall if we could still edit or if the edit feature was only good for x amount of time like it used to be back in the day. lol I have spent way too much time away and I forgot how all of this works. :)
  11. Hi everyone I was thinking about this place and thought I should stop in and say hello. Still alive and well, I guess anyway. LOL We are coming up on our four year kidney transplant anniversary. Man, time really flew by didn't it? Jesse is doing well with the kidney. He had been dealing with mild rejection for almost 2 years but they think they finally have it handled. He is still dealing with some other medical issues but nothing too crazy and for the most part is doing well. Nothing new going on with me. I decided to take the Ancestry.com DNA test last year. I was looking for a combination of things, family on my father's side, specifically my father. I was also curious about my ancestry in general, who am I and what am I made of? So I grew up being told by my mom that her side of the family was predominately Irish, Scotch, Welsh, and English. I figured I was more Irish than anything, especially with my fiery temper. LOL The test pretty much showed what she had told me growing up. All of my ancestors on my mom's side came from Europe but I was really surprised to see that I was only 16% Irish, I was however 23 % Italian/Greece which really had me wondering. This is where my story begins, the search for my father. I knew from a young age that Allan abandoned my mom when she was 5 months pregnant with me. She was fortunate to meet a man named Joe and he raised me from birth, Joe was the only father I ever knew. He was a good man, not without his demons but he loved me and I adored him. When Joe died 12 years ago, I started searching off and on for Allan. I was curious about him, I always wondered why he left. I was never really tech savvy so my searches never yielded any results. Once I did the DNA test, I paid for a membership on Ancestry, hoping I would find something, anything that would give me answers. I was able to find a marriage record for him in 1965. I noted down the bride's name for reference later, just in case. I eventually came across a divorce record for the marriage in 1965 and then I found another marriage record for April, 1970. This was the time that he told my mom he had to leave. I was born in Sept of 1970. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out he was seeing my mom and the other woman at the same time, he just ended up marrying the other woman. All my mother could ever tell me about him was that she thought he was hispanic but he had been adopted by a polish family, hence my polish last name. From what I know now, I gather the Italian/Greece heritage likely came from his side which was cool to learn but I was still no closer to finding this man. As I continued searching, I found a picture of Allan's brother online. It was an old high school picture, I also determined he had passed away some years prior. On a whim, I found someone with the same name of facebook and sent a message. He turned out to be Allan's nephew (Allan's brothers child). Very nice guy, we chatted a few times. He didn't know Allan, had only heard of him. He knew there was angst in the family because his dad always felt their mom preferred Allan the adopted son over Craig the biological son. The brothers didn't keep in touch, their mom was a force to be reckoned with and their dad died at a relatively young age. So I was back at square one. Eventually through hours of endless searching, I came across something on Google, it was a california birth index or something like that and when you enter a name, it will return with Allan Doe..... born on xxxxx, mother's maiden name... xxxxx, if this person is alive they will be X amount of years old. There was a secondary page with a list of names that you could click. So I go through a couple of names and I get to the B's and I clicked on a name. It said Bxxxxx (last name) born on xxxx, mother's maiden name is XXXX... Holy moly, that is the name of Allan's first wife! There I go back to facebook to see if I can find anyone with that name. I find one person, ONE PERSON. I message him. I apologize for the intrusion and ask if he knows Allan XXXX. He responded later in the day and said that his birth certificate shows Allan as his father but he doesn't know him because Allan left when he was a baby. I had just found my brother, a brother I never knew existed. Trying to talk to him was like pulling teeth. He thought at first I was Craig's daughter, I said no.... I am Allan's daughter. He pretty much shut down after that. He said he had tried looking for Allan years ago, his search netted zero informatnion (see the similarities here?) so he gave up. I tried reaching out again and asking if we could get to know each other. I realized this was probably a huge shock for him, it certainly wasn't what I was expecting to find but he only read the message and never responded. Growing up, I was prepared to forgive him for abandoning me. Maybe he had his reasons, maybe he didn't have a choice but I was prepared to listen and make my own decisions. Instantly I know I wouldn't be able to forgive a man that abandoned two of his children. He denied us both a relationship with him and with each other. There is zero information anywhere on the net regarding Allan or his wife. No divorce record, no social security death index. I suspect he might have assumed a new identity. My mother did say he was always in trouble with the law so maybe he is being hidden by the feds. I don't know. I have terminated my search for me. I messaged Craig and thanked him for being so great in chatting with me. I think we would have been great cousins growing up had we been afforded that opportunity but the fact remains, I am not a XXXX(last name) by blood so I felt there wasn't a need to try and make a family bond with Craig. The sad part of this ordeal, I will never know who I am or where half of my family is from. The only good thing that came out of this is I know I am nothing like my father. I loved my children and raised them to the best of my ability which is something he didn't do for us.
  12. He is awaiting his own machine. I was hoping it would be here by now. This reminds me, I need to call the sleep clinic tomorrow and make sure they did in fact order his machine. He is eager to get on it regularly. He said he noticed he slept better the two days he had the loaner. He is retaining fluid again. Giving him 40mgs of lasix a day to help pull some of the fluid off but it isn't working and I foresee a trip to the ER soon. I feel like we are never going to get off of this roller coaster.
  13. Grateful for being able to juggle so many things at one time.
  14. Just checking in to say hi. We have had some bumps in the road recently. Jesse was retaining some serious fluid, we were already at a doctors appointment for an echocardiogram on his heart when I made him go the ER. He was quickly admitted, fluid overloaded and apparently in congestive heart failure brought on by years of untreated sleep apnea. So we have been dealing with that. I changed his diet drastically, super low sodium meals now and he is also fluid restricted which is hard because working outside and living in Southern California it gets super hot. You know with the kidney transplant, he has to drink a lot of water. Now with the CHF he has to limit his water. Everything is crazy. He finally did a sleep study for the official diagnosis of sleep apnea. He stops breathing 79 times an hour and his oxygen level drops to 64 when he is sleeping. Speaking of which, he recently went through a stretch of a couple of weeks where he didn't sleep. The apnea was so bad, he would doze off and within a couple of minutes he was choking and would wake in a panic. Well the lack of sleep caused him to hear and see things. He called me one morning in a complete panic. He said three immigrants were in the house, they wanted to clean his house and they were going through his things. He then said that just before they showed up, he heard women laughing in his house so he went through his tiny studio apartment looking for them. It took some reassuring that no one was in his house. I ended up staying a week with him. Promptly took him to the doctor, not much the doctor could do. He didn't want to give Jesse anything controlled because of just how many times his heart stops at night. There was a chance that he wouldn't wake up. So he brought home a cpap to use for 2 days (the clinic was obtaining more data) and he should have his own machine this week sometime and if that weren't enough, a recent kidney biopsy shows there is still some rejection so he will go for 2 IVIG treatments and 6 monthly Actemra infusions. Between my work schedule and his never ending doctors appointments, I am a very exhausted girl. He did buy me a car though. LOL He decided on Father's Day that it was time to buy a car for me so we went to the dealership and I picked out a 2017 Nissan Altima. Probably good timing, we seem to be driving from one appointment to the other.
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