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About Me

  1. I decided to start this as a place to park my hodgepodge of thoughts and what's going on in my life. Had a great Easter yesterday- I had to drive a few hours to the airport to pick my son up from his trip to France and Spain. He had a great time and it seems like he grew up over night! It was so great to have both boys home and with me. Since I had them for Easter, I asked them what kind of meal they wanted and I went and bought the groceries for a nice Easter dinner. Then I get a text from my ex, saying his mom and dad are inviting me and the boys to Easter brunch at their house.
  2. Hi all I had figured my codependency thread was becoming a bit more like a journal. More information can be found in my first thread where a number of issues began. https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=548598 The past three years since my Dad passed away have been hard, not helped by the codependency of the relationship I went through shortly at the end of 2017 (see above). Dwelling on her for so long has not been healthy, and it's only thanks to this site and my counsellor that I think I can say, I'm finally moving on. After putting four stone on last year, I'm now finally
  3. I’ve not been very good at journaling this year! I’ve been dating someone for almost a year - we met last December. I do wonder if we’ll make it into the new year due to a few issues. He’s a single dad, first one I’ve ever dated, and I’ve spent a bit of time with his son but he has behavioural issues at home so not sure how I would handle this if I become step-mum. There’s also the topic of if I want my own child - I’m still not made up and honestly I don’t think he wants another one. He (my boyfriend) is currently living with his dad saving money and helping out (dad is registered disab
  4. I wish I wasn’t mixed. I’m 18. I’m black/white; African dad, European mom. I currently live in the United States, but growing up, I lived all over Europe. My dad is a former professional football player and he played for a few clubs in Europe, so we moved frequently when I was younger. We settled in the States after my dad retired. Been here a few years. I’ve always been a bit insecure about my mixed heritage. And it’s always made me feel guilty cause my parents are really great, loving and supportive; I’m lucky to have them. I feel like my feelings are a betrayal to them. But I’ve just ne
  5. I have been going through a motivational slump off-late, and it hit me a few days ago when I saw how I had wasted the weekend. I text my Mom to share this with her, and my Dad chimes in and gives me a long sermon about what would help my mental woes. While it was all good, healthy stuff he was telling me, I was really not in the head space to listen to any of it and I was kind of worn out by the call. I video call my fiance and joke about how Dads are always the ones to give us the "Dad talk" when we go to them with problems. His Dad is kind of similar, and we share a couple of jokes. My fi
  6. I am a 23 year old female . I grew up within the African culture where spanking your child is okay , you got spanked at school at home so that was the norm. Moving to US was different , and I have always felt ok with being disciplined if I had done something wrong but I feel like there is things that are too far . While in highschool I was in the soccer team , both of my parents were very overprotective, I couldn’t really do anything hangout with friends , i had to lie even when I was going to hangout with my best friend sometimes. One time after school I had forgotten to mention that I had s
  7. I am 22, and I need advice on how to sort out this situation with my family. I feel very guilty about the whole thing I live and work about 300 miles away from home with my boyfriend. My family do not know I live with my boyfriend, they are highly against it - not because of him, but because my mother doesn't agree with me living alone and seeking employment rather than further education. This is because I left medical school with a degree, but did not carry on to medical training to become a qualified doctor. I basically studied for 3 years to achieve an undergraduate degree and l
  8. My dad left me a tiny bit of life insurance money. There were 4 beneficiaries of the policy one being my dad’s youngest sister. One of the questions to claim the policy is they asked if the policyholder had at one time smoked. Now of course my aunt put yes , but that my dad quit in the 1980’s which he did. So now of course we all have to put that . My dad did not die of lung related illness but from kidney failure. Would that disqualify his policy?
  9. That smile melts my heart and gives me strength. I’m trying to hang on for you baby you give me strength. I’m sorry this happened and me and your mom couldn’t make it work but sometimes that’s destiny. I promised you a good Christmas and now I can’t give that to you. My greatest fear is to disappoint you. And I feel like I have and I’m sorry. But I’m here baby waiting for you to come back to me. Daddy loves you eternally. There’s not a place in the universe I would not travel for you. Let me bear any sadness you might feel or any worries, let me bear it baby. You just continue to be my happy l
  10. It seems every weekend I cry at some point because my father is gone and yes, he wasn’t a good parent and we had almost no relationship for almost 30 years but he was still my father . I may not have liked who he was ,what he stood for or any of his life decisions but I did love him. I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that I will never hear him or see him again. He was still a human being with a story. And that story and knowledge is forever gone. And that in itself is a tragedy.
  11. Ok, so not sure what to do here except write things down. If someone reads it, cool. If not, that's cool too. Basically I'm just layin here in my rack waitin for my night night pills to kick in, which they will here in a few I reckon. I'm layin here reminiscing on my life. Sometimes I think it's not all that great. But then again other times I know I've had a great life that so few ppl ever get to lead like I have. Grew up in a great family, in an awesome place. When my mom split, it was best for everyone. She had her life to live, she wasn't happy in small town USA, that's cool, we all ha
  12. This one is going to be a long story so buckle up!! My life has been a bit of a whirlwind, I'm in my early 20s and everything was going smoothly, career started doing well and then I was diagnosed with a potentially terminal illness. Normal life of hanging out with friends, parties, getting promoted quickly turned into hospital visits hooked up to IV and living on a oxygen concentrator. I've had relationships before, but once this happened I kind of figured nobody would EVER be interested in someone like me. But then I met this guy. We were introduced through a programme that was desig
  13. My son is having a very hard time with COVID fatigue and gets enraged easily with ANY talk of it. He blames restrictions partially for the death of his grandpa. ( which is partially true, my father found restrictions extremely impossible for people who were mobility disabled and deaf and with severe health issues. ) I have acknowledged his feelings , we have talked. I am extremely Covid fatigued myself and of course miss my father and my husband is gone until Christmas. My son refuses ALL suggestions of therapy so that is pointless and at 23 I can’t force him. If I wasn’t so
  14. My older brother has always been used to getting his way. When he was a kid he'd ask my dad for the latest Nike trainers and sports gear and my dad would willingly buy it for him. Same with doing his masters, they paid for it. When he needed money to buy his 1st house my mum and dad gave their hard-earned savings to help him to use as a deposit. Whilst earning and living at my parents, he never contributed to rent/bills, he had saved his own money knowing one day he would use it to move out. Well, he lost his 1st home, a job and had a mid-life crisis. It was one pretty year for him. H
  15. Hi I'm a 19 year old girl.I'm writing here because i want some advice as i don't have anywhere else to go.I found out or rather assume that my mom is cheating on my dad and is in "love" with someone else.I'll tell you about their relationship first.My parents have been married for 20 years and are living together.My dad was diagnosed with depression a few years back but he recovered from it.However,his depression is coming back again.He does nothing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING all day besides sleeping,eating and watching tv.He's too lazy to go even take a shower let alone do some work.He has lost inter
  16. ive been dating the most wonderful woman for almost a year now and i'm really so in love with her.. she is still legally married and although there hasn't been anything romantic with her ex in over twenty years but they are very close. they have two children in their 20S , they are business partners on things that don't require everyday interaction They own the homes that she lives in one with the children and he lives in the other. All their money credit and investments are completly like a married couples would be. Ive met him several times and have had dinner with with him and her
  17. My bf and I have been together 9 years. We live together and have a 1 year old son. Ups and downs like any other relationship... but what makes us go into full war mode is when we argue about his family. He puts me second best to his family. They can do no wrong... even when they’re disrespectful to me or my family. I can give examples... one being him and I having an argument and his dad getting involved when he and I were talking (yes talking not arguing) it out, his dad proceeds to come out of their house with the dirtiest look on his face waving his hand all crazy for me to leave while I’m
  18. I have been in a relationship for two years with a very nice guy. We're both young (early twenties) but are moving in together soon. The relationship isn't perfect but it's pretty good. The complexity is that he really really dislikes my family. Which is fair, they're not great people. I live hours away from home and have changed my surname - my father was extremely abusive. My boyfriend knows about this, and until recently, I have felt the same way about my family as he does. I think however I have changed a bit since living alone for a prolonged period of time and working in healthcare
  19. Hi, from a girl misunderstood, I have been married to my husband for 2 years and have a 3 year old son from a previous relationship. His birth father have been an absent father before my son was born and abandoned me pregnant. When my son was 8 months old, i met my current husband and he always treats my son as his child and help me with parenting. In the past he says he would adopt my son legally. However currently its been twice that he says he wont legally adopt my son however he would always be a male role model and be a father to him but he would always be seen as a step dad even if he
  20. Daddy issues, mother issues, all go way back when. Some have been addressed, some have not. I have a very hard time making friends, I always felt like I didn't belong. I had friends during elementary school. I am pretty sure that I was just going through the motion n did what was, I thought was expected from me. I never wanted kids but I wasn't totally opposed to it, because my then husband wanted another child. He and his previous wifes share a daughter, all the visitation back and forth all worked out. It has a lot more, I am trying to condese as much as posxible, sorry for the non paragrap
  21. My son has been going to the biggest church in our county. Last time I was off I just spouted off a smart remark about him finding me a singles group. Wasn’t even serious at all. Little turd shoots me a message last week sayin yea they have one I’m going to get you some information I really think you need to go. I swear between him and my dad they’d marry me off to about any woman that’ll look twice at me. Seein as he put forth the effort to find one, reckon I’ll go check it out.
  22. I met my boyfriend 5 years ago i had been through a lot in my previous relationship emotionally with the father of 2 children and he helped me see my worth strength and to find myself again, we were friends for 3 years of that as he was still in a relationship with the mother of his 3 children when we met but he was a great friend and support to me, 2 years ago he decided to leave her and we became a couple, at first things went really well but then he started controlling how I dealt with my kids dad their time with him my input in assisting him for example dropping my kids to their dad he sai
  23. Hello everyone , Me and my boyfriend have been friends since 1 year and in relationship for almost 3 years , things where going normal in our relationship , until his father got diagnosed with cancer 1 year ago I have been by his side since this , however his dad passed away few months ago , and my boyfriend totally changed , I understanded and give him his time and was by his side all the time , I really felt his pain and did all I could to make him feel better and never left his side when he needed me, however it was not enough and he decided to breakup with me saying he don't care about any
  24. Over a year ago I became friend with a widower and his kids. He has 4 kids whose ages range from 4-13 and I love spending time with them playing ...The dad lost his wife from cancer over 2 years ago. As he kept inviting me I developed feelings for him ( I am also very attached to his kids). I decided to let him know about my feelings and told him face to face and went straight to the point !! ( he got scared and said he could not see himself in a relationship that he was off), I understood but then he called me back and told me that even if he was not ready for a relationship now in the futur
  25. Hi guys! Not been on here for a bit. I still struggle with the end of a relationship that was only two months long, (ended 28/12/17). Bad timing, not long after my Dad's (Grandfather) death, and ultimately I knew she wasn't right for me. However, I still mourn her.....after no contact in all that time. Some days I hardly think about her, and then recently it's been relentless. It was after googling why I still mourned a relationship, that codependency came up.....and I tick all the boxes. Low self esteem, terrified she was going to end the relationship because the thought of being sing
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