Journey2Betterme75

Mid-day check in. I actually really like having somewhere to put my thoughts. Opted for walking outside instead of using my indoor spin bike. Not sure what came over me, but I ended up doing a mix of running/walking. 3 miles total of walking/running. Ran until I couldn't anymore, then would walk, then run, then walk. I probably ran at most in spurts of 1 min max. Did 3 miles in 52 minutes. I guess that comes out to 17 min per mile. Slightly pitiful time per mile, but I live in Florida where the heat index has been around 103-110 on average lately, plus I am obese.. so I am actually really proud of myself for simply running to begin with and doing it in this heat to boot. My left knee was sore when I got home.. may need to buy new shoes. I sweated out over a pound of water too. was 183.8 when I got home. I need to decide if I am going to weight in first thing in the morning or after my morning work out and stick with one or the other for the sake of accuracy. I am thinking I will weigh first thing in the morning, because I like to write in this thing first thing in the morning while I am having my coffee. Went to the farmers market after I showered. Bought cucumbers, tzatiki yogurt dip, and a bunch of other fruits/veggies to keep me on track for the week. Fruit, veggies, and lean proteins like chicken breast are 0 points on WW. Makes me a little nervous because I know it all comes down to calorie deficit for weight loss. I have no appetite as of right now and haven't eaten anything but have drank a bunch of water. Something I noticed is that I don't get hungry until later in the day.. but once I start eating, something gets triggered and I don't want to stop eating. Like as soon as I eat, I just want more more more. I think I'm going to make turkey burgers now (ground turkey, jalapeno, onion, sugar free ketchup baked in oven). I'll probably make enough for all week. I also need to boil some eggs. I am set up for success with the foods I have here now. Just have to stick with it.

Welp, change of plans. Yesterday did not go as expected. It was not a total failure though. I did drink and have two cigarettes. I logged my food up until the afternoon, then after the drinks, I said F it and stopped logging. Man I hate alcohol. Messes up everything. Good news is, I thought I was 187.5, but my starting weight yesterday was actually 186.2. Today I weighed in at 185.3. So I am down 0.9 lbs. Surely water weight because I went off track in the evening and had tacos for dinner without weighing/tracking and that was pretty high calorie. I also probably had 600 calories in alcohol alone. Water weight or not, I will take it. I just want this blubber off of me. I did 10 miles on my spinning bike yesterday. Took me 45 min. I didn't do a second work out because I ended up drinking, which leads to sitting on the couch in a useless slump. I did pretty good with water though. I bought this 40 oz jog, so my plan is to fill it up 3x/day which is just shy of a gallon. I drank it twice yesterday (80oz). Not a gallon, but better than nothing and trust me, there have been days where it's been nothing. Let's see, what else...I think I am going to nix the 75 hard program plan and just simply try to do my best each day with water, exercise, avoiding alcohol/ciggs, and eating in a way that will lead to weight loss. I have 3 weeks left of my weight watchers membership (bought it and never used it). After I bought it, I was worried it might not work because it doesn't track calories and you have to be in a calorie deficit to lose weight. But.. I already paid for it and since there is 3 weeks left of this month, I'll give it a shot for these 3 weeks and we will see what happens. Can't decide if I want to go for a walk this morning or ride my bike. I am thinking walk today since I did the bike yesterday. Walking long distances really hurts my feet and back since I gained all this weight, but I know it's healthy and I'm not going to get rid of this weight by just sitting on my butt, now am I. Height: 5'3 SW: 186.2 CW: 185.3 GW: 130 Total loss: 0.9 lbs

Hello. I am going to use this journal to document my progress on the 75 hard challenge. This challenge was created by Andy Frisella. The main point of this challenge is to gain discipline and mental fortitude/toughness. I have gained 57 pounds since Covid. I am considered obese for my height at the 187.5 pounds I'm currently sitting at. I am uncomfortable, ashamed, and pretty much miserable. I've never been overweight my whole life, until Covid hit. Since then, life never really went back to normal. I have tried and failed many times to lose this weight in the past 3.5 years. I am hoping and praying this time will be different because I've been hiding out and avoiding friends, family, and life for way too long now. I am ready to take back control of my life, get healthy again, and start living instead of merely existing in the shadows. I have also been drinking way too much since Covid. Literally every day I am drinking. I picked up smoking cigarettes as well (face palm). Both of those things end today, as they are not allowed on this challenge. Well, the drinking is not allowed. The smoking just needs to go because it's an insanely disgusting and dangerous habit and enough is enough. Here are the 75 Hard Challenge Rules: For 75 consecutive days, 75 Hard participants must do the following every day: Follow a diet. While it can be a diet of your choosing, the diet must be a structured eating plan with the goal of physical improvement. No alcohol or meals outside your chosen diet are allowed. Complete two 45-minute workouts, one of which must be outdoors. Take a progress picture. Drink 1 gallon of water. Read 10 pages of a book (audiobooks not included). So there you have it. Also, if you miss or mess up on any of the 5 rules, you have to restart at day 1. My diet is going to be simply logging my food and sticking to no more than 1,400 calories per day. I am only 5'3 and I have checked with my registered dietician friend who assured me that is fine for my height/goals. For the exercise, I'm going to mostly do cardio until I get rid of some of this fat. just bought a spinning bike and I can also go for walks outside. I might join a gym eventually, but for now I will just stick to biking and walking. I am going to switch the "read 10 pages of a book" requirement to "write in this journal every day" because I know myself and I think this would be much more beneficial than that. This is not going to be easy. I recently started seeing a therapist and I think that has finally given me the nudge to HOPEFULLY stick to something for once. I have been self medicating my emotions with over eating, smoking, and drinking for nearly 4 years now. I know it needs to stop. I am in my mid 30s, so I am way too old to be treating my body this way. After all, we only get one. I have constant anxiety over the health damage I am inflicting from all of these bad habits. I need to stick to the plan no matter what. I have broken promises to myself so many times about losing this weight and quitting the other vices, that I do not even trust my own word. That is the point of this program. The more you stick to what you say you will do, the stronger your discipline becomes. With strong discipline, you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. I am ready to get back to being ME. The strong, healthy, happy, me! P.S.- If you have anything negative to say about any of this, or want to try to persuade me from going all in on so many things at once-- just don't. Every single thing I am doing is a healthy change and the last thing I need is anyone to try to deter me. I deter myself enough. I don't have the energy right now to even entertain anything like that. It will be ignored. Thanks for understanding. Let's do this.