Journals
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I don’t even know how to start or what to say here but writing has always helped me process my feelings and gain some perspective, so I’ll start this and hope it helps. I lost my mother suddenly and unexpectedly at the end of June. I’m still trying to process this loss and find some peace. She was very close to me and my 3 children. We are all still stunned and trying to navigate a world without her. A few days ago by 14 year old daughter was in a freak accident involving a tree falling on her while she was resting in a hammock with her 12 year old brother. She is in ICU with a C Spine injury and will require more surgery and a long recovery and we are unsu…
Last reply by katrina1980, -
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We started dating in at the beginning of 2018. He wasn't ready for a serious relationship so I let it be more casual until it got to be too much. We would argue about it but in the end I would always think, it's still early in the relationship, too early to be exclusive. In March he went on a 4 week family trip to Europe and we decided to use that time to figure out if being together was actually what we wanted. I decided not to contact him at all during that time but he never went more than 3 days without calling or messaging me to check in and see how I was doing. He came back and told me he loved me and the space made him realize this was right. We still fought occ…
Last reply by 12Network, -
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Letter To The One That Broke Me Dear You, Remember me from a year ago? Probably not. I remember you, the girl with the beautiful brown eyes, but more importantly...we were friends at one point. I remember sitting behind you in class. You were so cute in the way that you focused on your work. Then, we were paired together for a semester. I remember you being so shy around me. Then, you started “accidentally” bumping into me in class. Before I knew it, we were talking regularly before class. In class, I noticed your arm touching mine and I thought I was crowding your space. Then you gave me your number for our project. Later, you started texting me questions, but I kn…
Last reply by Nate2048, -
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Letter To The One That Broke Me Dear You, Remember me from a year ago? Probably not. I remember you, the shy girl with the beautiful brown eyes. I remember sitting behind you in a marketing class. You were so cute in the way that you focused on your work. Then, we were paired together for a semester. I remember you being so shy around me. Then, you started “accidentally” bumping I go me in class. Before I knew it, we were talking regularly before class. In class, I noticed your arm touching mine and I thought I was crowding your space. Then you gave me your number for our project. Later, you started texting me questions, but I knew that you knew the answers. However…
Last reply by Nate2048, -
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Day 4 - (Still Raw) So yesterday was ok. Not terrible just ok. Helped my uncles kids light fireworks, etc. I couldn’t help but wish they were my own kids. O well. I had fun, kept it together, NC iniated by either side. I have my ex blocked on everything except email. Email is the only avenue of communication between us. It’s for emergencies and to notify me when the kids need something. I’m always very prompt to get the kids what they need. As another poster said, this time and space to heal is much needed. It’s not forever. I just need to get my head together. I’m doing more harm than good. I’m excited about the future. Finding someone new and putting this toxic…
Last reply by Red88, -
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I am struggling to keep my happy at the moment, so I've decided to start a my own journal of happiness... every time I feel blue I will write something that makes me happy or remind myself that things aren't so bad. I know that there is a thread of what one is thankful for for everyone, but I thought if I could record something for me, I can read back on it and take joy in reading my happy memories. I've decided to limit my time on social media, I have no need to go on it for work anymore, and it's has come to the point where I only go on there to stalk or distract my mind - it doesn't make me happy, it just fills a void. I'm trying to be more constructive with my …
Last reply by Lisii, -
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Well I wonder And I writhe and I twist My mind starts wandering Then I stop..there it is. Mmm. A warm, rheumy substance dancing on my lips. Ethyl, I say, my darling where have you been? You know I can't sleep without you and I begin to ache within I stand in awe, appreciating every inch of her full figured shape Eyes steady..sliding up her neck I can hardly stand it I pull her in for the finish Pressing my lips against hers There it is again, the warmth. Ethyl, I whisper, you've done it... all my problems? Diminished. That's been bothering me lately. Avoiding it makes me feel weak. Vulnerable. I'm contemplating giving it a try, seeing if I can ha…
Last reply by veneratio, -
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I like this forum. I think I'll be around here a while...so I thought I would make a journal. I was off and on with my ex for 2 1/2 years....it ended a month and a half ago. I'm sad...but not so much over losing him. Don't get me wrong...I loved him. A lot. I still see 35 things a day that remind me of him. It's going to take a while. I think I'm more upset though over the idea...that I'm starting over. Again. At 30. Jeebus. I thought I would be married by now. Him and I talked about getting married...but...it wasn't right for a multitude of reasons....and...now I start my quest, to find my future husband...again. Ugh. -----------------------------------…
Last reply by TulipTrees, -
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i had crushed on her for a long time. My brother was more popular at the time and hes my twin so i thought it was a mistake when sh added me on fb. She initiated contact and i was thrilled. we went on our first date soon after. it went well so i asked people on how to proceed. she called me over because her dogs had been fighting and she needed help with them. i came and i ended up kissing her for the first time. we hung out almost every day after and soon after wound up in a relationship. it was so good. full of passion i had never experienced in anything prior. she showed me things i never even thought of. then she came and met my family. it was a disaster. she got …
Last reply by John14087, -
- 42 replies
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Hello all, Social issues have burdened me as long as I can remember so I thought i'd start a journal to vent, share, and hopefully change a lot. First, a big reason why it's hard to socialize and form relationships is because I have Schizotypal Personality Disorder. Basically i'm a little odd, distrustful of other people, sometimes don't understand how what I do or say will affect or could affect someone, and have anxiety socializing to the point that it can paralyze my thoughts/social actions. There are quite a few people at work, people I've known from school, and friends of my family that try to interact with me from time to time. Despite this, honestly there is …
Last reply by henrysearch60, -
I spent a long time today reading our former emails and chats. It's so sad. I still miss her and loved her very deeply. I wish we could have found a way to make it work. I was just so afraid of her darker moments and our different life priorities, it made it hard to show her the commitment that she needed.
Last reply by chuckee, -
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Im starting this journal because I have started to date again after a 8 month reprieve after a break up with my now X BF. Im back on line and finding it fun and difficult all at the same time. A little back ground: I met a man in October and partially dated him until the end of January. I really fell fast and hard for him. We had a lot of chemistry and I slept with him too soon. Not that that was what ended it, but I think it set it up to become a FB or FWB. He had two really bad life things happen to him and each time he pushed me aside and just went dark. He was a recovering addict and had lots of issues and red flags that I was not heeding yet again. He was…
Last reply by janut1, -
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Dear God such chaos have I brooked and such fabulous dates have I enjoyed... and yet and yet. Is it now? Not even close? Well, okay. I've posted my pics and I've decided to actually respond sometimes. Wth, you can't swim if you don't jump in the pool. Can't sleep a lick tonight, mostly because my brain has been working for too long. And because it's been a night of familiarity, everyone talking to everyone else until the wee hours. And the arrangements being made... Woo lawd somebody better blush up in here. But, no blushing needed at my house. Time for me to roll forward... Yes.
Last reply by IAmFCA, -
- 9 replies
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I am going to start writing a journal on here as I go through this beautiful, painful, tragic, and wonderful life. It could be thoughts, sporadic philosophical thoughts painful ones. Hope this will be helpful to anyone who reads.
Last reply by Pleasedonot5, -
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So its almost christmas time, which is close to new years, which is all about new beginnings. I'm also a little older and (hopefully) a little wiser. So i think its time for a new journal. I can't say that this journal will be some miraculous new start that is nothing like my previous, I can't promise rainbows and butterflies and sweet little puppies (which is how my housemate described me - weird!), but I am hoping that it will consist of many good thoughts, happy memories and positive outcomes, unlike many of my previous entries. I feel as if I have allowed depression and anxiety to rule my life for far too long. The last three months however, I have been a strong…
Last reply by avman, -
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I'm 29 and my goal for the next couple of years is to find inner happiness. I'm planning to do that by living a guy-free life, avoiding relationships that will pull my focus elsewhere. It will be hard but I feel like I really need this. I'm not the type of person who jumps from relationship to relationship or who wants to be with just anyone. I might be the opposite. But still "finding one true love" or "finding a soulmate" has been my life focus since I was 3 (a true fact). I've heard from many people that it's not a healthy focus but even now I disagree. I do value the special connection that you can have with another human more than anything else. Not just any relat…
Last reply by catfeeder, -
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I’m pretty sure I have dreams about him most nights...they aren’t dramatic or heart wrenching, but when I wake up, there’s that lingering sense of sadness on my brain. I’ve noticed a recurring theme in my dreams lately too. I dream I’m either trying to text or call him or respond to a text from him and no matter what I do, I can’t get the text to send. There seems to be a problem with my phone and sometimes I know there’s a message from him waiting for me on my phone but the phone is broken or it won’t work properly to let me see the message. The symbolism is so poignant, isn’t it? I feel like this is my subconscious reminding me of how disconnected and broken our way …
Last reply by chattygirl, -
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Almost 3 years as a member here and I have never done a journal. I do enjoy reading everybody else's journals and thought this would be a good time to start mine. I have officially completed one month of healthier eating and exercise. In that one month, I was able to drop 9 lbs. I'm not entirely sure what prompted this lifestyle change, although I do think it had something to do with an ongoing stomach issue that I have had for many years. I feel good, I have more energy and I look forward to feeling better than I ever have. I need to have the stamina to chase the grandbabies around. They are quick little buggers. The timing of it all was interesting b…
Last reply by Silverbirch, -
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A few things about me first. I'm 45, have been divorced for 12 years and have no kids (I have a cat I adore I'm a teacher, I have a few close friends (most of them married with kids) and it's just difficult to meet men my age where I live..and the few I have met are either married or not interesting enough. So, that made me turn to online dating. I first tried online dating 7 or 8 years ago. I went on many dates (over 40, I think) and the only thing that had come out of it was one relationship, 2-3 heartbreaks that never made it to relationship status, a couple of close friends and LOTS of boring evenings. My last relationship was almost 3 years ago (with a guy I had m…
Last reply by Ellie2006, -
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Figured it was time to open a new journal, I'm 4.5 years out of university now. I'm a fully (apparently) fledged adult. As in, I live with my partner and don't have mum looking after me lol. I pay all my own bills. All that fun adult stuff Haha. My partner and I are planning to starting our family later this year, April time we're thinking. We'll have lived together 8months by then. Before then I need to check my health. Pap smear, having a chat about that on Friday with nurse. Then hopefully getting it out of the way. I've still got this battle with my ears. Have specialist later this month. I'm feeling optimistic this year. Last year was tough in many w…
Last reply by pippy longstocking, -
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You came in to my life and briskly swept me off my feet like a strong and powerful tornado. You spun my world upside down for the thrill. Your thrill has dissipated. You left me as quickly as you came. I am in pain. I am weak. I am confused. I am lost. But I won't give up. Come what may, I will overcome it. The generous gift of pain you gave me will not break me. I WILL survive. I vow to do something that makes me happy each day, whether its big or small. Step away sadness! Your in my way! Thursday Day 1: December 7, 2017 I bookmarked this place in my Yelp account to try their snow flake ice cream for some time now. I wasn't in the mood to go bef…
Last reply by insideoutch, -
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I heard journaling was a way to get out all the emotion so I thought why not give it a go. I'm hoping it helps me. I have put my story around in places but I'm going to try and put it all in one place. So, my ex girlfriend of three years broke up with me because I was a jealous and possessive person. She was my first girlfriend, I was not her first relationship but I would say her first serious one. We lost our virginitys to one another. This was a person who i deepley loved. So much in fact i lost who i was and then lost her. Aanyway, we broke up on september 9th via text, harsh i think, i thought she had more respect for me than that after three years. Chated…
Last reply by Piaresssss, -
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Last reply by HappyStart1231, -
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Last reply by FallingStar85, -
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Last reply by Elavohra,