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About Me

  1. I have been living in a different country to my home country for the past 3 years with my boyfriend. Was only meant to be for short amount of time with his job, ended up going permanent and we stayed. I have always been homesick and wanted to move back and he doesn’t. We have a toddler and I am currently 6 months pregnant. Our relationship is not good, can’t agree on anything, he is not very supportive. I had postnatal depression with my first, and scared I will get it again with this baby. I want to move back and have baby in home country where I have more support as have none here, but he feels I am taking our kids away from him and making him miss out on the birth. I need some advice!
  2. Hello, I'm a student and I came here for advice about a sensible situation, thank you in advance for the answers, sorry for the lenght, this is quite complex but I just want to have an external opinion on the feelings I go through, the whole story is just to set the context. Trigger warning : abortion/ abandonment. 8 months ago (October) I met a man on a dating app, at first he seems to be open to discover each other around a coffee, and I was more into having fun. Our conversations were the simple/quite boring kind, but I give it a try as he seemed cute and I felt good and confident in my life. So we spent a first night together not planned but on an impulsive need to see each other late. Then wow I discovered a funny, smart and cuddly man. I’ve been hurt in the past due to relationships where I forgot myself in unrequited love so I decided to act “cool” and “casual” for once, thinking I could keep an hand on this He asked me two days after to see each other again but again I try to make myself mysterious, we saw each other a few days after, on a night too. Then I started to get attached and I felt he started to be distant. As I tried to get some news a few days after the last encounter, he never answered so things didn’t go on and I erased him from Instagram, only media we had to chat. I know this was immature but at that time I didn’t know him enough to trust him as we met twice in a month, at night, I thought it was just another ghosting from a dating app hook-up. Life went on, I rarely thought of him but some nights after a glass of wine when I felt lonely and I regretted my impulsive act. In January I saw him on another dating app, I matched, he had matched me so we talked again, and I asked him to see each other again, he seemed unsure which I understood. However due to serious personal issues I had to erase my account on this site and as I had erased him from Instagram we had no way to talk, but I was too mentally/emotionally busy to care. He finally found my Instagram account a few days later, dm me and insisted on us seeing each other again, seemed really implicated. I felt surprised in a happy way, it was the sunshine in a dark week and we saw each other on the following weekend. It was a great moment, he spent the whole weekend with me and we found back this complicity we had a few months before, talked his about silence and my reaction, it was a qui pro quo as he was living hard stuff he said. Then a week passed and no news, I started to feel angry… then he texted me on the weekend on a funny thing, I took time to answer but we chatted a bit and then no news. I tried to speak to him but he wasn’t really implicated in talking to me. I started to feel frustrated that’s when I realized I might want more than casual meetings and a few texts. I told him these feelings on a Friday night by text, he told me he didn’t want more than fun and it was never the case, telling me he thought it was obvious, I got hurt but accepted it. I told him that I could go above this and still fit into the casual stuff. after two times asking him for a night where he “couldn’t” then a month of no messages had passed. I tried to forget him, blaming myself for acting this needy and trying to identify my feelings. Then he texted me again to see each other, which made me happy but I was busy and it took a few days til I could even if I was thinking of him the whole time. It was great seeing him again, just to tell, he’s until now the best sexual partner I had and the fact that he’s cuddly and funny was so comfortable. He left, two texts about food on the same week-end and silence again. I tried to see him before quarantine hit the country, he couldn’t so I took time for me. Then the problem arrived, as I was thinking about not seeing him again because of this disastrous feeling of loneliness each time he left my house, I discovered I was pregnant. we made sure to be checked for STD, but due to hormonal reason I had to stop my pill while waiting to get an IUD, and this last time we saw each other, I checked my menstrual cycle. I thought of the morning-after pill but I trusted my cycle and dumbly thought that for the one time in my life w/o protection, I was safe. As you guessed, I found out I was pregnant, after a week of nausea and breast aching. I told him by text, Instagram was still the only way to chat, directly told him about my intention not to keep the child and he told me he was sorry, he wished me the best and that’s all. I got mad and after days of no news and thinking, hurting, I told him I wanted to talk face to face. He was okay and came and we had a long chat about my opinion, my feelings about this pregnancy, my anger, and he told me about his feelings toward this, for the first time I finally heard of what he could felt. It was moving, really sad, but he seemed concerned, encouraging and supportive, told me he’d be there. I felt better but when he left I felt even more alone, nothing was left to say, he even told me he’d be more careful with his next relationship which oddly hurt me. His choice was not to have a baby now, and with me, mine was that I couldn’t financially raise a baby, but I didn’t tell him that I was scared to abort due to the fact that it was the last thing that bonded me to him and that I was so mad that things ended up without my control, without my dignity, without my choice. Seeing him was so hurtful, I wanted to hug him so badly, we couldn’t help but smile to each other through the pain cause we still had this bond, I’m aware it was mostly pity in his case tho. However I felt in his eyes that he cared for me, in a way I couldn’t see when it was all that I was waiting. So I felt rubbish. Now you know, 8 months after what the situation is(April) and I feel so selfish to feel this way but I don’t know what I suffer most from the idea of losing him forever, as a I don’t really know him, than this idea of having to go through this traumatic event which abortion could be. I must mention that I have been abandoned as a child, because I think that it left me patterns, but I want to understand how could I be in such an emotional situation? I don’t think it’s love but it’s hurting me so much just to imagine him with another girl, while I know I while never open myself again, not after this experience. My only thought is that I wish I had took this morning-after pill just to have a chance to see him again, does that make me cruel and insane? What do you see in this experience? Sorry for the long long post...Feel free to tell me, try to not judge me and thanks for reading me, if you want further information feel free to ask. I I really need your help. (maybe this is in the wrong tag?)
  3. So me and my boyfriend were kissing yesterday. I gave him a blowjob. Then he wiped his dick with a tissue paper. After a few minutes he rubbed my outer vaginal area with one of his fingers . According to my period tracker app, I am going to be ovulating within a day. Now my question is, can I get pregnant? I'm scared as hell and feeling paranoid as well.
  4. Hi everyone, This is my first post here and I feel like I'm just reaching for answers from someone, anyone. So a bit of background first: been with my partner for 6 years and we have a 1 year old together. We have a home and both have good jobs. We were extremely physical in the beginning of our relationship and couldn't keep our hands off eachother. The last 2 years have been a massive slump. Since I got pregnant he has hardly touched me (in fact twice in 2 years which I will mention later). When we were trying to conceive I suffered a few miscarriages and the last one before our full term pregnancy ended in me being incredibly ill in hospital and nearly dying. It's been a crazy few years. But we 're out the other side with our child and I am back to full health. The last 2 times we had sex I instigated it. 1 being when I was pregnant and waaaaay overdue and wanted to try anything to get the baby out - he wasn't impressed and didn't enjoy it. Second time being when we had a long discussion about how I felt unwanted and unloved and unsexy and we ended up talking ourselves into a quickie while the baby napped. Needless to say it wasn't very romantic. Now the other issue is he watches porn almost daily (I've seen his phone history as it's linked to my laptop and comes up with the searches - I wasn't snooping) and he has watched it regularly when I'm in the house. He doesn't come to bed with me at night and often falls asleep on the sofa. He's just not interested in me at all but always has an excuse as it why and it ends up in an argument if I bring it up. The ONLY time he tried to initiate sex was when our baby was 2 months old and I was still sore from giving birth and my family were on holiday with us. The least romantic scenario I could think of!! I didn't want our first time since the baby was born as a quickie when someone could walk in so I explained why and said no. I just wish he could understand why it offends me and why I'm worried. I'm really not sure what to do and to be honest it makes me not want to bother initiating sex because I feel so hurt. What should I do? Or do I just need to accept that this is our life now? Other people seem to be having weekly sex and I'm getting it yearly. What is going on?
  5. I'm 28 and after my 4 year relationship ended, I've felt lost. I was inattentive, but she was needy and had trust issues (whole story in my other post). Now she's pregnant to another man 4 months after we broke up. I know there are a lot of things I need to change, things that I want to change to better myself and for myself. I want to become fit and agile, I want to stop playing so many video games, I want to stop watching porn, I want to watch less TV, I want to become a better communicator, I want to be less frustrated and irritable, I want to learn new things, and I want to learn how to balance my time to include those I love and care for. Yes, this all stems from my previous relationship, but I am not doing it for my ex seeing that she has moved on and now has an unplanned pregnancy. I want to be a better, more well-rounded person for myself and the next relationship I go into. I don't know what i need to change exactly, i just know that I've never been the dumper and want to change something, if not many things about myself to be successful. However, I don't know where to start. I'm just tired of feeling like I'm missing out on a lot of things due to the way I decide to spend my time...
  6. I'm in a relationship with my boyfriend only since last March. I got bad relationship before and I was taking my time to NOT going into something wrong again. He's bipolar but he got good medication and he's state is alright since 3 years. His last relationship end this January, and last Friday his ex text him that she was pregnant and that she will give birth this month. But, she only knew that she was pregnant since March and she decided to tell him last Friday. She tell him that she didn't asking something from him but he must know that he could be the dad of that child (she was supposed to used birth control but well that news isn't nice to hear). My biggest boyfriends fear was to become a dad with a woman he don't love and that he will never want to be the dad of (the child, sorry English isn't my first language...). And after what happen, he don't want to be part of the life a this child because he wouldn't want kids anyway and he didn't have the choice in this situation to give his opinion because his ex will give birth soon ! I never tough of if I would like having babies with my boyfriend because you know, for me it was too early to think about such things, but with circonstances, we had no choice to talk seriously about it. He told me that he wouldn't want to have kids even before that, but with that situation, he wouldn't even less to have one. He don't know if his thinking will change but for now for sure, he don't want babies. For me, I know that I sound like I'm a dependent affective, but I don't want to end this relation because, for me, it's hard to have feelings for someone and damn I finally found someone who I was happy before all of this situation and now everything is going so akward. Like, for now we still love each other and everything is «fine», but I want someday to have te chance to have a baby. And with this situation, I don't know if I must end this relationship or let time passed. Because we never know want could happen and I feel so lost about all of this. I'm not that old, but I'm not that young too (i'm 27 and his 28...), so my age is also what makes all it worse for me. Should I keep this relation with the fact that I will always regret to never have children ? Do I end it without knowing if he will change his mind after few years ? What should I do ? How can I deal with this ? Thanks for reading and I hope someone can help me...
  7. Hello. I am 18 and I just had a baby in September. My boyfriend and I were very shocked but I told him multiple times after finding out about our daughter that he didn’t have to stay and i would not file for child support but he still stayed. About 5 months pregnant and he cheated on me. Now I didn’t find out until a couple weeks before giving birth, and I didn’t even find out from him I found out from a friend who kept it from me as well. I had no time for myself to deal with this emotionally or mentally so I pushed it deep down and tried to forget about it, even though that never worked. Now that our daughter is 4 months old I finally have more time for myself and I want to heal. Me and him are still together. We talked about a lot after I found out about him cheating, I found out more that he would think of having sex with other girls, and that he just wasn’t as emotionally committed as I thought he was. It’s like I was running the relationship all by myself. But now that things are better and we’re more “honest” I just can’t seem to trust his word. I need help. What do you think of the situation please give me advice how do I heal from this.
  8. I posted the other day about some issues my boyfriend and I were having. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 8 months. It's been a rocky relationship to say the least. We met when he was married...he moved in with me after 2 months and we got pregnant (currently 6 months pregnant). He filed for divorce, as hes said hes been wanting to get a divorce for years now. We have been living together all this time and his 16 year old daughter recently stressed to him how she misses him home, crys herself to sleep everynight etc...and he is now considering moving back in to his house and leaving me. I am beyond betrayed and don't know what to say or do at this point. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
  9. I'm 36 m & i have this friend who's 28 f & 8 months pregnant. We have known each other for about 3 years now & the whole time we have both been single, about 12 months ago i realised that i was catching feelings for her so we started to hang out a bit more than usual but then she fell pregnant to a bloke who wants nothing to do with the kid at all & i got a bit jealous so i didnt go there as often for a few weeks. Lately i have been helping her out quite alot more than usual but she still only ever contacts me when she wants/needs something & this does my head in because i think that she only wants me around so i can help her & it makes me feel a little bit used. Neither of us have ever made a move on the other but she definately knows that i have feelings for her but i'm worried that if i make the first move that it might wreck our friendship so i decided to wait for her to make the first move. its been ages now & my feelings just get stronger each day that passes but i dont know what to do? Iv been single for around 4 years now & i'm so sick of being lonely & i really need to find someone for that human touch, I'm so confused & dont know what to do? Everytime i say to myself that "today i am going to tell her exactly how i feel" I end up getting cold feet & backing out for some reason & keep it all to myself. Iv never been good at picking up women, the feeling of being rejected absolutely sucks & hurts like hell so i think thats what stops me from openimng up to her. Any advice would be greatly appreciated
  10. I am hoping some advice will be given here without judgment on the situation. Please believe me when I say I have been grieving terribly and not coping very well the past month or so in general due to the circumstance. However, the situation I am questioning about has lead to further grief, making it an extremely rough time at the moment. I am unsure who else to turn to, so I believe this may be a good place to start. I had been dating a wonderful man for almost a year, I must point out here that he was reliable, considerate, caring and very understanding. We shared a good bond with many great moments and we were physically involved. Then everything took an unexpected turn. I had become unwell temporarily, which lead to my contraception failing without my knowledge at the time. I had fallen pregnant, I discovered this very early stages with a home pregnancy test, as I knew something was just not right. I felt afraid, mixed emotions and perhaps numb to an extent. I wasn’t fearful of telling him, I never doubted for a moment that he wouldn’t be there, and he was. He stepped up like any decent man would and we communicated and worked together weighing up the pros and cons. I am a very career driven woman and we both agreed due to many circumstances, it was best not to proceed. We both made this decision. This did not make the decision any easier for the both of us, it was a terrible time and we were definitely very emotional on the final decision but we knew for the sake of ourselves and for the baby, it would have been unfair to go ahead with it. Until the final decision, we were in it together. We knew it would be a hard time but we would get through it together, I had no doubts. A week after the termination, I had an extremely emotional day. I was an emotional mess and not thinking rationally or calmly, I still do not know why I said what I did, but I sent him an extremely long message expressing myself of wanting to cut ties. There was a lot more to that message, but that is probably the most important part. He did respond with a heartfelt response, which was basically giving me what I want and that he just wanted me to be happy. Within an hour I responded with an apology and expressed that I was in a very low mind at the present time and I take it all back. That I still needed and wanted him in my life. Since that day, I have not received anything back. He became uncontactable within just a week and a few short days after the termination. I have sent a number of messages over the past few weeks (definitely probably not the wisest choice) I have expressed to him how I am feeling, how I am not coping and worrying if he is coping okay too, that I wish he would speak to me again because I have no understanding of why he is doing this. I am still connected to him through all social networking applications too, have not been removed or blocked, although he is not posting anything. It has been a month, since he has not made contact. I had said everything I could. I am grieving in more ways than one, I am grieving for two losses currently and I cannot think of any logical reason why he would continue to cut me out so coldly when he genuinely cared to begin with and has been informed I did not mean any of it. If I am barely coping, maybe he is not coping so well either. I do not know, but any advice would be very appreciated. As I mentioned, please no judgement on this situation as I am very fragile at the moment. I am just looking for some thoughts on this from different perspectives.
  11. Firstly, some background, me and my boyfriend are studying in university and we have been together for around 2 years and 3 months. In our first year, we’ve were sexually active, but because of a few pregnancy scares, I gradually became more wary against sex and I came to a point where I could not take the worry from it and hence I wanted to stop having sex. The mistake i made was that i was not able to tell my boyfriend as i was afraid that i would disappoint him. So i usually told him that i was tired or not in the mood 1.5 years into our relationship, my boyfriend asked me what happened and why i seemed very sexually distant. I raised that i was really worried of getting pregnant and that i felt guilty for doing it (pre-marital sex is not allowed in my religion, and also because i have been brought up that i should not have pre-marital sex). And that i think we should do it less so that i feel less worried about getting pregnant and that i don’t feel so guilty. this was my second mistake, not telling him directly that i don’t think i want to have pre-marital sex anymore. 2 years into the relationship, he one day got angry and told me that he could not stand how i was still being so sexually distant, and that he does not get what is the definition of doing it less (less meaning once a year? once a month or what) and that he is feeling disappointed because i keep rejecting his advances. To be fair, for the past 5 months when he said this, i was so busy that i didn’t have time to even eat or sleep, and was constantly pulling all nighters and being stressed out. I told him honestly this time that i don’t think i want to have sex anymore, because of all the guilt and worry i was feeling, that it took away the enjoyment i had. and because i am usually very busy every semester in school, having the guilt and worry on my mind only added to the stress that i was feeling. he said he could not understand how all these while when we had sex i never said anything but then suddenly i started feeling guilty. he said if religion was so important to me in the first place, i wouldn’t have done it. I admitted it was my fault, that i didn’t know how guilty i would’ve felt after that and it was my fault for continuing and leading him on. He also said that i seemed like i did not even have any wants of sexual intimacy. and i said it’s not that i don’t, but for the semester i was really packed and i really couldn’t afford time for it (trust me, i slept an average of 2-3hours each night for 5 months). although he was disappointed, we agreed to not having sex, but will still carry out other intimate acts such as blowjobs etc, just not sex. now it is 3 months after we agreed on this and there were a few times how he would tell me that he was upset that I did not want sex and that he misses it. I did arrange my schedule better such that i had more intimate time to spend with him and made more effort into initiating as well. there are times when he tries to persuade me into doing it, saying that it is safe and that he will take extra precaution. The reason why i am writing this is because, today he exploded on me and said that he really cannot take it how we don’t have sex anymore and he really really wants to have sex. I told him again firmly about my stand and he again tried to persuade me that it is safe. He says he is stuck and does not know what to do, on one hand he does not want to make me feel forced, but on the other he really wants to have sex. At this point, i don’t know what to do. should i compromise and give in to him or should i have a clear stand? i honestly do not like the idea of doing what i do not want to do. and i am disappointed that he is trying to persuade me into doing something i don’t want to do as well. help me, i really don’t know what to do. I understand that there is incompatibility here, but is there anyway to work around the incompatibility? I have already tried initiating other sexual activities but to me it seems that he only wants sex. please advice thank you!
  12. I'm dating someone casually, and this is what I need right now. We've started dating this summer. He's a very wise and self-aware person but God help me his cold logic attitude can be hard to bear. We agreed to date without expectations. We've also talked about getting pregnant scenario - he said multiple times he's against having children now and would support me only in decision of abortion. We've jokingly called him "a fan of abortion". I'm not "a fan" myself and I'm 31 (but not in hurry to have a family if I ever want that), so in case of unwanted pregnancy I would strongly think about keeping it, because I don't know when I will my future husband anyway (if I will). So we've talked about this and I told him it would be only my decision but I assured him I wouldn't want anything from him including money. I'm a very sincere person, heart on the sleeve, and he never had reason to doubt my words in any matter. This month I started taking pills as they're a statistically more safe contraception method than condoms (and would give us more fun). I'm ok with him using condoms as an additional method if that makes him feel more safe. But this week we had first "normal" sex without condoms and with a normal finish. The whole evening we were emotionally close and it all made me very happy. The sex was amazing too. The next day I had a visit with my gynecologist, took a new prescription and asked some questions about pills. I've been taking them every day after breakfast, so on weekends it's about 2-3 hours later. My doctor told me I should be taking them at the same hour for better efficiency. So I decided to take them at the same hour for the future. I had a tough day at work and while he was on his way to me, I told my bf that on text about the visit, and I jokingly wrote that "I hope your dreams about abortion won't come true", to lighten up the subject, which I realize now sounded a bit insensitive though we've joked in this exact manner before. We've also both read before that no additional method is needed if the pill is taken within 6 hours. He came to my place and got angry at me for writing that, that I shouldn't be joking about this. That maybe he didn't make himself clear about where he stands with the topic of unwanted pregnancy. That he's going to remind me more strongly and more often about it (he does that too often already..) and maybe it will make me discourage him from coming inside me rather than encourage him. And he said that I'm being childish with all of it. It pissed me off cause I've been approaching it all in responsible manner, taking pills every morning, clearing out my questions with the doctor on the first occasion and I didn't feel I deserved to be called "childish". But, having a tough day, I didn't have energy to tell him that, I just started crying. Like most guys, he said something mean when I started crying. So I couldn't talk for some time or react to his words, I just lied on bed and calmed myself down. He said to me if I act this way after what he said, I must have been lying to him before that I acknowledge his position on the matters of pregnancy/abortion. He asked again if I've been taking pills every day (I told him a few times this month already that I have), thinking I have some reason like that to cry. So when I calmed down we discussed things in constructive manner. I told him I won't stand being called a liar, that I've been doing everything right, and that I gave him no reason not to trust me. That I won't be called childish as well. But I'm sorry for the joke of course, since I didn't know this time it will go wrong. He said it's not that he doesn't trust me, he doesn't trust anyone. But I don't see a point in meeting someone you don't trust 100% with telling the truth... He thinks he's been only saying his cold truth, but I told him he's been just showering me with accusations made up in his head before just asking if they're true. That yes, I'm ok with his position as I said, but he was being an a*hole to me, with how he talked to me. He didn't apologize but acknowledge that. We've calmed down and while we need some space before being intimate again (with double protection for now I guess?), he's been assuring me we're ok, hugging me and being sweet to me as always. I feel frozen and depressed all day. I like him just as before, but I don't know how I will have sex to him again after he's been so mean to me about it. How to let him in emotionally again. I don't know if his fear of closeness or something makes him sabotage things just after we get emotionally intimate like a couple... or maybe I psychoanalyze too much out of it for now. I'm ok whatever way it will work out with us, if we will fall for each other at some point or find somebody else, but I want to enjoy things for now. I can normally enjoy sex only if it's emotionally intimate, not the physical act itself. I don't know how to emotionally "let him in" again during intimate situations, for fear of being punished later for that... I feel I should talk to him about how I feel, not to guilt trip him since generally I respect his views, but to tell him my needs, so I wouldn't cry after sex or something. Unfortunately I don't know what I feel now. And why I feel this way. Can you help me to understand myself better here?
  13. Its a long one so here goes..... My ex and i had been together for 2 years. Engaged for 8 months of that. We have known each other for 5 years. The first 3 years we were FWB. Ive always had feelings for him. I ended up pregnant and we had limited contact during the pregnancy. Once the baby was born he was always there for us. When she was a few months old he decided he wanted us to give things a proper go, and that he had been thinking about it for a while, that DD put everything into perspective for him. We had an amazing relationship. Very few disagreements and next to no arguements. I fell pregnant again when DD was 10 months old. Everything was great. We were looking to move in together and at christmas he proposed. We would take the children out on day trips and weeks away and just have family trips to the park and things like that. We went away at the end of june and i became quite ill. When we returned home i had my illness to deal with along with helping out with my mum who had become sick following complications of an extensive operation. This meant that i got caught up in family problems and didnt make as much time for him as i should of. We didnt see eachother for almost 2 months despite him asking every week if we were going to stay at his. He was always telling me how in love with me he was and that he missed me and couldnt wait for our future together and that he wanted us to have another baby once we we're living together. Then out of nowhere he suddenly ended things. He said that his head was a mess and he didnt want to lose me but thought that not being in a relationship might be good for him. He said he needed a break to work out of he still loved me or not because he thinks he had fallen out of love. I asked if there was anyone else and he said no. He said he still cared for me and always would and that we never know what the future will hold. He said that it was best we didnt see eachother for a little while as he didnt think seeing me would help him right now. 2 weeks later (last week) we met up for him to see the children. It was the first time we had seen eachother since returning from holiday in june. Things were great. Like nothing had changed. We laughed and played with the children in the park before taking then for a pub lunch. We talked, not about the relationship or the break up but just about general things. He kept the conversation flowing, asking questions. There was no awkwardness at all. I noticed he was still wearing his ring but half way through meeting had taken it off. A couple of times he seemed abit down, bleary eyed but when i asked if he was ok he just said yes and shrugged it off. I text him later that evening to say it was good to see him and that the children had had a great time. He never replied I have since heard through a mutual friend that that night he got into a relationship with a girl he had slept with at work after our break up. He suffers with anxiety and depression and can be very insecure. I think this played a big part in him ending things as he probably wouldve felt like i wasnt interested anymore because we hadnt seen eachother. Plus obviously not seeing eachother also means not having sex. He hasn't taken down anything on social media apart from his relationship status so the last fee photos on instagram are of me with quotes like my world and things like that so anyone looking would assume we were still together. And he posts things on facebook about over thinking and hoping for better times, and how bad times show you whos always been there for you. Along with quite a few quotes about depression. Could seeing and spending time with me like old times have made him think maybe he had made a mistake and thats why hes suddenly jumped into a new relationship?
  14. How soon can a person know that they may be pregnant? I am kinda freaking out about the fact that I may be but then again, a lot of things are going against me for that matter... things such as I am on the pill and have been for over 6 months, we were using a condom but during sex it slipped off... but I'm not sure if it saved us in this matter. It's only been about a week since this happened but I was wondering if you could have signs as early as this -- breast tenderness, belly aching, etc. Thank you.
  15. First of all, I am a super paranoid person. . . my boyfriend and I have had sex about 6 times so far. . . everytime we do, we use a condom, and he pulls out before he cums. Before he puts the condom on he rubs his penis... and his hands may have "precum" on them, then he puts on the condom, If the condom doesn't have spermicide on it, could that little bit of precum get me pregnant?? My period is due soon, and I'm really worried. I'm starting birth control the next time I get my period ... What are the chances of me being pregnant? How effective are condoms, and condoms with spermicide, when used correctly (no holes, put on right) Any help would be great. I'm stressing out. tanned_production I realize that I've posted before, I was just hoping someone could come up with statistics.
  16. Many of you have read my previous post about me and my GF's recent scare. 2 days ago she took a pregnancy test and it was negative. She still hasnt had her period though. She was supposed to get it on the 12th. Today is now 7 days late. Why could her period be late??
  17. i had unprotected sex tonight. i pulled out. i know it was a stupid thing to do. i will never do it again. please, i am just asking for advice,i don't need anyone to tell me i'm a moron. anyway, she just got off of her period not even a week ago. is it LIKELY that she will get pregnant? i'm gonna see if we can get a morning after pill tomorrow...thanks guys. i appreciate it. condoms from now on.
  18. Well...I was with this drunk girl last night and I put it in with no condom on. Well, after about 5 minutes I was about ready to bust, so I pulled it out, but I was still hard so she put it back in. At this point it finally hit me, I needed a condom. Now i'm paranoid as hell about an STD and there is a slim possibility shes pregnant. (Of course the pregnant thing is just a guess.) I'm thinking I should go get tested ASAP for an STD, just wanted some insight.
  19. Hi guys, quick question for your opinions. My girlfriend and I are in love and have been together around 13 months now. I plan on asking her to marry me this next year. Anyways. We have a sexual relationship, she is on the pill. I try to make sure that she is on time with the pills, because to be honest, neither of us like condoms. I know it's not the "safest" way to go about avoiding pregnancy, but so goes our selfish decisions. Last week, she had just finished her period and we were together for a special dinner together. We had planned on an evening encounter and she had forgotten to take her first pill on time. She took it a few hours late and we slept together. She then took emergency contreceptives within the 12 hours after...according to the instructions. I don't like her taking these pills, because you never know what they do to a womans body...I hope she can have my baby one day...just not now. Anyhow. She told me today, that she had some spot bleeding and I got massively worried, because she said that hasn't happened to her before. Now yesterday, we were wrestling (playing with each other) and I accidentally knee'd her in the lower abdomen very hard. I felt so bad. Anyways...do you think that spot bleeding is a sign of pregnancy or could it be my accidental knee to her overies? Should I be concerned? Thanks.
  20. On saturday me and my boyfriend had sex for about 45 minutes...but he never changed condoms between cumming and starting again....im worried because i recently read that this can lead to pregnancy. Its also around my fertile time..does anyone know how likely i am to be pregnant..im really scared.
  21. Well my friend had sex with a girl about 17-20 days ago and it was the day after she had her period and now she is claiming she is pregnant..... they did not use protection now she says that she is seeing signs of pregnancy like spotting tender breasts sick ta your stomach like pukey and she thinks shes preg. But she really likes this guy alot and dont wana loose him think shes messing around?
  22. i have had a couple of pregnancy scares lately. even though i do make all my partners wear condoms. but i really wanna stop that happening and so i want to go on the pill. but i have a boyfriend that i see if he comes to town and im thinking of goin on it for hi. but is he worth it? i mean he is sweet and caring but it seems he only likes me 4 1 thing and if i try t talk about anything else he goes all quiet and unresponsive. or maybe it is just me cos people have already said that i am over analytical and hyper paranoid. So is it hi or is it me? and is he worth it? Catie xxx
  23. I am in my mid-twenties. I was dating someone for 4 months but he left for this summer (he'll be back in 3 weeks). Before he left we decided that we could date other people if we wanted to. So after a few weeks and no phone call from him, I met a guy who was in town only for the summer (he's only 21). We hit it off and immediately started sleeping with each other. He was really sweet and we had a lot of fun together. He left for back home (which is the other side of the United States) two days ago. I found out I was pregnant two weeks ago. I tried to ignore it and tell myself that he was better off not knowing since I had already decided that I was going to have an abortion (for many reasons...I am not financially secure, I am single, I want my baby to have an active father and I had been taking antibiotics that could harm the baby). But now that he's left I have been having guilt dreams and nightmare dreams. I do not know if I should tell him or keep it to myself. My friends tell me not to. I don't want anything from him. I am capable to pay for it by myself and he wouldn't be able to be there I just feel guilty for not telling him since its his baby too. I also don't want him to freak out on me and never talk to me again on the phone because we remain friends.
  24. Hey guys, I have a girl friend and she is a virgin, neither I or n e one else has penetrated her vigina. The last couple of times a 2 weeks ago.. litterly only like 3 times with one time underwear being on we surfaced. I didnt put my penis inside of her only to a point where my penis was touching her vigina. and i am 100. percent sure . that i didnt ejaculate while it was over there. She is a little nervous cause recently she is feeling nausiated and she never feels like that even on planes or boat rides. She said she felt like throwing up but hasnt yet. She also hasnt been sleeping properly. SHould i be worried ? if she is pregnant then how soon or when is it to late to get an abortion ? how soon can i do a pregnancy test ? whats the best ones ? please reply asap
  25. I broke up with my girlfriend, near the end of the relationship she was acting very moody, and to be quite honest i could'nt trust her, we were together for two years and two weeks after the break up she calls me back wanting to talk again. We were talking at first as if everything was alright, like she wanted to get back together, but then she tells me shes talking to someone else and that the last three weaks of our relationship she was pregnant with our child which she then aborted after the breakup without my opinion. I had no idea she was even pregnant in the first place so i told her to f... off and i walked out on her, she's like "how could you just leave someone like that, after all we've been through, why can't we be friends, i don't wanna lose you". and thats something i'll never do, i'll never watch her be with another man and i won't keep it as friends, so do you think it was completey wrong for me to just leave without a goodbye and to never come back?
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