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katrina1980 last won the day on August 23 2019

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  1. I think saving for a house is perfectly legit reason for living at home. Or saving money to pay off school loans, or debt, there are so many reasons. Please try and refrain from making assumptions as the previous poster suggested, get to know her and find out what she's all about for yourself.
  2. Lol, I once dumped a guy cause I didn't like his shoes, no joke! They had 'lifts' on the heels which was strange as he was quite tall without them (definitely over 6 feet), I guess he wanted to be taller! Anyway not sure if it was the shoes per se or the hidden message re his insecurity about his height, (or my perception of what it meant) but I was immediately turned off. The irony is a man's height doesn't mean a hill of beans to me!
  3. You decide what you value more, the frivolous attention of another man (and yes it is frivolous and most likely has nothing to do with you - it's his ego as you are 'unavailable' and as such pulling you is a huge ego boost) OR your own integrity and sense of responsibility to your husband and child. My god you are acting like some sort of victim who has no control over herself; get your shyt together and start behaving like a grown up for heaven's sake.
  4. They've left the building because OP you are being driven emotion, not by any sense of responsibility or integrity. Look, I firmly believe, even in long term relationships and marriage, there will be others we become attracted to. What's important is that you do not act on that attraction, in any way shape or form, you squelch it. You have made a commitment to be married, you have a child for goodness sake, start exercising some integrity and honoring the commitment you made, before this attraction escalates. If there are issues in your marriage, needs not being met, then communicate that to your husband and seek counseling if necessary.
  5. @MirrorKnight, your post was spot on, in fact could have written it myself! I talk about fear of commitment a lot on this forum, it's a real and genuine fear and has the tendency to negatively impact human relations in a way many peoole don't understsnd. In fact many people don't even believe it's real, instead believing all it takes is meeting the 'right' person. Well, there is no 'right' person for those who fear commitment and emotional intimacy, they will always manage to find "something" wrong and if not, will create it. Creating fights is very typical, it's the "fight or flight" response to the fear. Both are a way to create distance. Anyway, I'm rambling but just wanted to say thanks for being here and "getting it." And to the OP, I hope you're listening and best of luck.
  6. Ok tiny, fair enough I see your point. :) I agree with FIO, I don't think this is over which is ok too if that's what OP wants. Best of luck whatever you decide OP, and if you choose to see him on Tursday, remain open and honest and most importantly, have fun! That is what these early dates are supposed to be, light and fun! Edit: Never said he was a bad person, no one did. He would not be right for me, not because he likes looking at sexy pics of women, but more for the lack of interest he is displaying by not planning more dates (I mean two dates in three months?) and the crude text he sent. Not for me, my standards are a bit higher.
  7. Of course people enjoy looking at and even liking pics of those who are hot and sexy, it's called being human, nothing wrong with that whatsoever!! But I think when you first start dating someone, for god's sake exercise some discretion please! It's not necessary to be broadcasting it all over FB, where you know the person you just started dating is bound to see, and then sending such a crass photo with words to match. I'm no prude, but that is in such poor taste and reflects a certain lack of respect, something I personally have no tolerance for so early in. And please let's not invalidate the OP's feelings by calling her naive, she has the right to not like his behaviour and stop dating him without being told she is wrong or naive or being shamed for it.
  8. Oh I have no doubt he was only trying to be cheeky with you, perhaps because of the nature of your previous texts, he assumed you would find it funny which you did! In an earlier post you described it as 'humorous.' So a bit confused now as to what the real issue is; is it the fact he enjoys looking at large breasted women and you have some insecurities about that because you are not large breasted yourself? If so no judgment from me, you have the right to stop dating him for any reason at all, after only two dates in three months, the first of which sucked, you don't even need a reason nor an explanation imo. But if you want to give him the courtesy of one, then ok to send a quick text cancelling Tuesday and telling him you don't think you're the right fit for each other and wish him well. Then block him in case he tries to text, keeping the drama going. To be honest, that is probably what I would do.
  9. Chiming in on what TD wrote, I think if a couple both have a crude sense of humor, and wish to exchange crude jokes and pics, that is perfectly fine. Not judging that at all. For me, when in an exclusive relationship where interest and trust has already been established, I can be pretty crude myself! Lol But you are not in an exclusive relationship, in fact there is no relationship, you are barely even dating. So for him to send you that photo this early in, before knowing you or your sense of humor, was just in very poor taste and extemely disrespectful imo. I mean I am imagining myself receiving that from a man I barely knew and I'd have no problem just blocking him after that. Huge turn off.
  10. Well if you're ok being treated like one his frat buddies (again referring to the crass photo he sent you and what he wrote) then who am I to judge. I'd be done but you do you, good luck.
  11. Here's my take fwiw. I'd have no issue with him liking large breasts, many men like looking at large breasted women nothing new about that; as j.man said it's no different from men looking at playboy or other such mags years back. What would be the dealbreaker for me is his need to broadcast it on FB where he knows you'd see it, a woman he is hoping to impress, and worse sending you crass photos/texts claiming it was a "joke" under the guise of a Disney cartoon. Low class bottom of the barrel behaviour as far as I am concerned, no thank you, next! To me, him doing that (especially him sending you that "Disney princess" photo and writing what he did) suggests he has zero respect for you. Men who respect you would never send something so crude OP, for me, that is the red flag, and dealbreaker. Also, may I ask why you have only had two dates since May? He sounds gross imo, I'd be totally turned off, why aren't you? After seeing that photo he sent, along with what it said, and after only having two dates in three months, I would have just blocked him, and I find it curious you described it as "humorous," what are you his "frat buddy?" Cause that is something a man would send a frat buddy, not a woman he just started dating and hoping to impress. Ick.
  12. What j.man described above is how my relationships work too -- in fact if any of my boyfriends required me to 'check in' to the extent you do OP, I would feel very controlled, suffocated and stifled. Jmo but this is not about you 'worrying' about him, his safety or wanting to know he's ok, but rather to seek reassurance and alleviate your anxiety and insecurity. Seriously consider this OP, otherwise you will drive him away if you haven't already and any other man you date unless he is as insecure and needy as you are. All the best.
  13. I agree with Batya, you are not his mother, or prison warden, which frankly is how you're behaving with all your "he needs to check in" requests, good lord, great way to drive him off for good!. I don't know what 'stupid stuff' he's done and don't care, this isn't about that imo. This is about you; you don't trust him, period, and as such have NO business dating him or any man you don't trust. If your tendency is to become attracted to men who are untrustworthy, explore that internally and/or with the help of a qualified therapist. If you have trust issues generally, meaning guy could be a saint and you'd still find things to not trust, then same advice - explore within and seek good qualified therapist to help you navigate and resolve.
  14. Lol, all my boyfriend's friends have "liked" me. To what extent I don't know, all my bfs have said is that they liked me and think I'm cool. Does not mean they would ever cross boundaries, they're my bf's friends for goodness sakes. Take it as a compliment, it sure beats the alternative, having his friend not like you, don't you think? My spiney sense tells me you "like" him, more than just your bf's friend and that is why you're asking and hoping he likes you in the same way. Otherwise why would this even be a concern, unless his friend crossed boundaries, has he? If so, talk to your bf, not us. Smiling and making eye contact while speaking with you is not crossing boundaries.
  15. Hi HC, have you decided what you're gonna do? Or have already done?
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