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  1. This is going to be a long post so thank you in advance for reading it. My wifes ex has always been somewhere in the shadows. They did talk, I was always afraid this would happen. I was looking at old photos to make look nice for valentine's day, i saw that around 6 years ago, she started liking her exs posts. At the time she told me the truth, she had seen him, she said she felt i was distant. I was not in my right mind as it happened while I was having a mental break down. I was hurt, i felt that at the moment i needed her the most, she went to him, but a year later she t
  2. My best friend and I (both Girls) broke up after a 4month relationship. She her self before we met was in a stable relationship with a guy of 4 years. But from the day we met each other, we felt a connection. As we were friends, we said the same things at the same time, and had the same humor, we had the same special interests and we were meeting each other randomly. everything seemed so aligned. Our friends could feel the tension She liked me and I liked her. She was the most kind hearted beautiful girl i had ever encounter There were some problems in her relationship b
  3. Hi To help me heal and grow from a recent break up. I'm currently attempting to understand signs for future reference. Just have one question. What does it mean when somebody/partner does a genuine good deed for you, but later uses that good deed against you in an argument? Its like their throwing the good deed they've done back in my face? Thanks in advance.
  4. I’ve (24F) been seeing this great guy, J (24M), for about a month now. When we’re together, everything just clicks. We talk for hours, share laughs, and are physically intimate. The sex is fantastic and we have so much in common. He’s introduced me to his best friends, slept over a few times, took me to retrieve my car when it was towed, and makes time to see me every weekend. The thing is, when we’re not together in person or making plans, there is almost no contact. He rarely ever reaches out (an occasional Snapchat here and there), and never calls or texts unless I initiate first— although
  5. So I have been through a heart-breaking divorce a while back, and I have been talking to this girl whom I have known for so long. She too has been been through a break up a while back We had feelings for each other before each one of us got into a relationship even though its not explicitly mentioned, but we compliment each other openly about our looks and character and how each one of us sees the other as amazing and perfect She mentioned that she is still healing from her breakup and that she needs time to heal before she gets into another relationship I know she wants to be wit
  6. I broke up with my ex a few weeks ago. He was the one to finally end it for good but I probably should've left several months ago. I hung on to a false sense of hope. The relationship was full of ups and downs. I know I deserve to be treated so much better. My head knows that it's for the better because one sided love is just not worth it and very painful. My heart has not caught up. I've probably made every mistake in the book. I was very angry and upset in the beginning because I was still holding on and just so mad because he was very uncaring and rude and did not care to listen to anyt
  7. Hey all. I thought i would write a post about how no contact has helped me, and the steps I'm taking to heal from what I thought at the time was a forever relationship. I hope it helps someone, if you have any advise, I would love to hear it. Thank you all. The start of no contact is always the hardest. Fully letting go of someone who has been a massive part of your life is hard. I was the dumpee, and didn't see it coming. I fought for her but it was over. I respected her decision and left her be. No contact gave me the opportunity to see things in many different ways. At first I saw
  8. Hello everyone. I need your professional advice. First of all, I hope everyone is coping up well in this pandemic crisis. Recently, I received the result of my neuro-psychiatric exam. According to the results, I have ADHD with symptoms of anxiety and depression. Before I knew the result, I didn't that I have been experiencing depression. The diagnosis worsens my emotional state which caused me not to perform well in my work. Then, I sought help from my neuro-psychiatrist as I have been crying while I am working and I felt each day is very gloomy. She referred me to a psychiatrist. I a
  9. It seems I have no idea what attitude should I adopt, so I can safely heal after a break up. Last time I thought I had allowed myself to griev, but everyday I was thinking about reasons to hate him for what he did to me, inducing myself the idea that I must have no feeling for him anymore. Somehow that worked and I was feeling relieved, but as soon as I got in contact with him again, I immediately fell for him so hard, and I currently feel the most awful ever. How can I see the things in the best way, considering the fact that I have no social to distract me and no occasions to date other
  10. I'm not trying to thread spam, but this is a big enough change I think it warranted a new thread. My ex reached out today and apologized for the breakup. Said it was life pressures, misunderstandings and legitimate issues that caused it. Any regrets are over how it was handled not that she felt it was needed at the time. But that after reflection the issues aren't dealbreakers at all, they just were at that time. And that she's open to trying again in a few months after we both finish up some major projects and have time to reflect/heal. The changes requested are very, very reasonab
  11. Shattered in to pieces. That is what my heart probably looks like right now. I didn't see the break up coming, and it's even harder to heal because I didn't get any closure. I don't think that 'last text' counts. You don't end an almost three year relationship with a text. Some people are just really heartless like that, eh? Been crying for almost every night this February. It still hurts like hell as I am typing this, but I guess I'd just have to endure this and allow time to heal me. But it's easier said than done. Also trying my best not to contact her or be in touch, but still relapsing
  12. I wrote a previous post where my ex dated another girl and lied about it whilst we were in the early stages. A few other things were at play and I decided to end the relationship. My ex is moving out of my house and even though he said he never liked my neighbourhood and hated my gym which he joined, he has now decided that he wants to stay in the area. Not only that, but he wants to move in with two women at the end of my street. I have asked him not to, it will not help me heal or help with making a fresh start. Is this some kind of torture? Please advise what you would do in thi
  13. I've always known I had issues with things like depression and anxiety, but after turning 25 recently it hit me how dysfunctional I am in general and I'm not sure what the best steps are to take to get help. I grew up with an alcoholic narcissist mother (father wasn't there much) and she sent me away to a wilderness and boarding school program at age 16. After getting out at age 18 I didn't know how to adjust back to the real world and started smoking weed all day every day. I also started stripping as I had issues keeping other jobs and focusing in school due to my addictions. It's now be
  14. Hi all. I have been limited/no contact with my ex since we broke up in June of 2017. My story is on here... he got married to my replacement in May of 2018. I went through hell during and after the breakup. I picked myself up and have been working hard to move on. I am still healing and choose not to talk to him or about him. One of our mutual friends is getting married and i am a bridesmaid. I did not ask her to do so, however she informed me she would not be inviting my ex and didnt want anything to possibly cause any negativity. I told her i appreciate her decision and thanked her
  15. Or did you ever? I'm genuinely curious. It's been about 7 months NC for me now, and I'm coming to terms with the fact that I think she'll always have a spot in my heart and I just have to accept that. Admittedly, 7 months isn't a long time in the grand scheme of things so I could easily be very wrong, who knows... which is why I wanted to start this thread and hear other people's stories. I've lied to myself daily and told myself that I'm over the whole thing, but if I'm honest, I'm so not. Sure I'm moving on in all the right ways and I feel better about it, but I still think abo
  16. Self blame and no closure is haunting me. Not an exaggeration when I say daily. On a good day, I might think about her briefly a few times... because work is busy and there are some cheerful things. On a bad day, it will paralyse me, especially either side of sleep. I decided to write this after kneeling in the shower and crying. Over the 4+ years since break up, I have dated numerous girls (2 for 1+ years) and I have given everything to those relationships, but nothing is right. Some facts: - we dated from 2011 to 2014 (3 years) and we were engaged for half that - the passion and l
  17. Hi all. Just wondering what others have done to help them heal? I know the usual ‘gym, new hobbies, etc etc’ But I’m talking more about self esteem. Heck everyone’s self esteem gets knocked after a breakup. But how do you heal self esteem? How do you put together the little pieces that have been chipped away? There’s no manuals for this? No instructions!
  18. Hi everyone, It now has been 6 months since my ex-gf broke up with me. During that time I went trough a lot of emotions. Recently I met a new girl, but I just can't stop comparing her to my ex (who I still love). Should I take more time for myself and heal before dating someone else?
  19. Hey all... I know that healing is far from a linear process and impossible to predict a timeline - however, I'm just curious as to roughly how long it took others to reach the point of indifference and genuinely wish their ex a life full of happiness? Bitterness and resentment are emotions I do not wish to harbour. I believe that negative feelings will only continue to intrude on my new life and my own happiness. Backstory: 7 year relationship, engaged for 2; he had my replacement lined up before I moved out, they got married a short 9 months later. I am working on healing and have d
  20. Are you a victim of childhood emotional neglect? If so then I would like to ask for your experience! Only recently I found out about all the symptoms of childhood emotional neglect. I could relate to every single one of them. Symptoms include feeling like something is missing, cutting off from ones emotions, low self-esteem, being easily discouraged and more. Literally every single one of them fits to the way I would express myself. I just find it incredibly hard to believe so I don't know what to do next or how to heal. Because I doubt myself so much I find it hard to believe childhood emo
  21. Just changed the usernames on my two main Instagram accounts. It is not possible to remove all trace of myself from the Internet, but I am cutting off the main avenues of contact. It makes me feel sick to the stomach. To cut ties is so strange. Nonetheless, I feel like it is the best thing to do, because it was a cyber relationship that was never going to get that much deeper. It did not give me what I need, but I knew from experience that talking about it was pointless. Like every other time I tried to work on the relationship, he would just ignore me. In the end, I didn't want to ev
  22. Please no judgments I just am hoping for thoughts/advice/experiences. I am not sure if this is the right place to post this one but I am struggling with somethings. My ex and I broke up 2 months ago this week. He was in a relationship within a couple weeks of breaking up with me which tells me he was involved with her before ending it. We were together 5 years on and off. When I say on and off it is because he was hurt in the middle of our relationship which impacted it. Anyway without getting into the long details of it, I have been doing my best to move on. I went no contact from day
  23. is it selfish to tell someone that you want to be alone to work on your self over and over again to heal from your previous relationship (the relationship before that) and mental issues? They've been doing it for 4 years they claim they love you and want to be with you. The problem is I need to work on these issues. I also just want to wrap myself up in work hopefully get a second part time job and use my spare time to focus on my kids. Is that selfish? It's not that I don't want to be with the guy. I just don't see how it's possible.
  24. Has anyone ever felt like you've met your match but it was bad timing for both of you? How would you approach that situation? Do you cut it as a loss and completely walk away? What if you try to and they won't let you go and you're the one who needs to heal and process things to be better? What kind of things would you do to help if you were that other person and decided to stay? Do you stay in contact risking the effects of emotional unavailability and potentially ruining a good thing because one person or both aren't at their best (though, they're working on getting be
  25. Hi all. So it has been 3 weeks since I've contacted my ex, and he hasn't reached out in these past 3 weeks. I am used to not talking to him by now; however, I do not feel myself healing. I am sad he hasn't reached out. I know why I am not healing, it is due to me checking his FB page every day. I see him flirt with others, I see him make posts about when he will be in a relationship, I see him happy and joking. That makes it easier for me to not initiate a convo with him because I think "oh well, he's happy without me, so why should I contact him" but I am not moving on. It hurts that h
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