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  1. Hi Guys, I'm sort of confused about a girl that I've had an interest in for about three months now. I can handle any kind of criticism or honesty so if you feel she has no interest whatsoever, PLEASE let me know. I don't want to keep spinning my wheels on somebody that may not be interested and think I'll only lose her respect if I were to do that. First, I think I'll by clear and honest by saying that I work with her currently -- although that won't be a factor for long because I have been offered several other jobs and am just looking to pick the one that "fits". Three months ago, when I first had an interest, she wouldn't go ANYWHERE with me. Walk accross the street, lunch, to another office -- NOWHERE. It usually takes me a while to get to know or like someone, though, so for about the first two months of her being there, I rarely ever said a word. I can readily say about anything around her now and can do a play fight routine where I act as though I'm about to punch her or kick her and will get a laugh and a, "don't practice you're wrestling moves on me." It's nothing uncommon now for a playful "high five" to take place -- sometimes several times a day. The smiles can be on and off but, normally, I can get a smile out of her fairly easily. I'm not certain that it matters, but she laughs at me a lot. Today, for example, we went out to eat during lunch and she walked in the door and I was sort of shuffled out and ended up holding the door open for other people and noticed her clapping and laughing to the waitress (apparently about the fact that I was sort of shuffled out). There were several bench's and I took a seat in one of them (that had an open seat next to it), but she sit in the bench beside me. We talked about several subjects and somehow, an ex-girlfriend come up which was met with a FROWN by her. She seemed to warm right back up, though, and we had a pretty nice lunch with the exception of one STUPID (Hey, I'll admit) remark I made... I noticed a ring on her finger (that finger) and, somewhat crushed, asked, "So, when's the big day?" She responded with, "The big day??", and I said, "Well, I see the ring." She laughed and said, "This isn't an engagement ring, this is my university class ring" (I only saw the backside of it and not the front so, as far as I knew, it could be any ring). I then just sort of casually said, "Well, he's lucky anyways", to which she responded, "I'm not getting married... This isn't an engagement ring" and laughed. From there, she just sort of talked about a graduate degree, one day possibly moving, and other things she would like to do with her life. She asked about my goals -- which are similar -- and seems to be interested in some of the things I say. She does have a great memory as she can quote things back (or ask about things I've talked about in the past) with ease. I'm a huge NFL fan and also enjoy video games and she'll regularly mention seeing something to do with one or the other to me. We have always taken my truck to do things in the past, but if I ever mention something I need to do (or whatever), she'll always say, "I can pick you up." Finally... as for e-mails and telephone calls... I've only called her on the phone once before which mostly was just a lot of laughing from both of us. She may or MAY NOT respond to my e-mail, but it's usually met with a response. She also seems pretty "joking" toward me. Alright, I think I've included about everything going on between us (good and bad) and am just curious if any of you can help me distinguish whether or not she has an interest level and what I should do, etc. I don't really WANT to be in a serious relationship while I still work there (as it could be disasterous for us both -- especially for her considering she'll be staying) but definitely want her to know she is somebody I would want to consider having a serious relationship with at some point (which is what I hoped the conversation about the ring would have done). Am I screwing anything up that I could be doing differently? I would rather just be myself as it feels more "right". Thanks, NASCARfan30534
  2. Do engagement rings have to be diamond for it to be considered an "engagement ring"? My boyfriend has been talking of getting me a ring for Christmas all year, and I think he wants to get me my birthstone (December)... but he also added the comment tonight that he doesnt think an engagement ring has to be diamond, its whatever I like the most. What do you guys think?
  3. Hey ya'll So, I was just wondering, this is just a hypothetical topic, but I really need advice on it because I know nothing about it nor do my friends. If you can't afford an engagement ring of say a DIAMOND status. But I know that my gf likes White Gold OR Platinum. What choices do I have, to find something affordable now with those styles and I can upgrade when we get married?
  4. I've been engaged to my fiancee since x-mas eve. I was not able to buy her the engagement ring she wanted to due financial reasons. Nonetheless, the ring I bought for her is beatiful and by no means can be considered cheap. I dicussed this with her and she was alright with it. Last night after getting home from work she calls me on my cell phone and asks me to stop by. When I arrive she pulls out a ring that was similar to the one I bought her, but with a thicker band and larger diamonds. She told me the ring was about 600 dollars more than the one she has, but I can get it for her at 100 dollars a month. I asked her if she was unhappy with the one she has and she admitted she was. I told her that It is the meaning behind the ring that matters, and not the ring itself. I also said that in a few years when we're already married I'll buy her another nicer one when we're financially stable. She got upset and said that many of the women she knows have rings with larger diamonds and that it should be because it's a symbol of our love. Angry and hurt, I left and went home. This morning on the phone she tried to push it even further. I put my foot down and told her no because I simply can't afford it right now. She then said that she is going to take the ring back to the store and forget about it, and take her engagement ring off and put it in a box. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. Did I overreact by getting upset? I had always thought that the MAN was supposed to pick out the ring for his soon-to-be bride. Not the other way around....
  5. Here are the rings : I need a tally please! White Gold Sapphire w/ Diamond 1 image removed White Gold Diamond 2 image removed 3 image removed 4 image removed Thanks!
  6. Hi, Let's say you have been dating a guy and during Valentine's Day he proposes to you with an engagement ring but you think he is still not the one yet or that you are not ready for it yet. What would you do? What would you say?
  7. I have posted many times before and finally ended it with my significant other. We had been together for almost 7 years and in the past 6 months he started treating me horribly. Couldn't deal with so decided the best thing was to leave. Before that he never treated me this way couldn't understand his change in behavior towards me. He would make plans with me then screw me over, lie all the time, never call me back...say he was going to and never do it and act like no big deal. It got to the point where we hardly spent any time together. To me this was odd after being together 7 years and he had bought an engagement ring. We had other issues as you can see in my other posts about his dogs. He would tell me that he loved me but didn't know if he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Well that is enough for me...so we have been apart for a couple of weeks now. I just don't understand the change in him and how he could tret me this way. I had not been taking his calls. He left me a message yesterday I called him back..he told me he would call me back and never did. I saw him out last night and he was going to a concert with firends and said i will call you when it's over..never called. I called him this morning and asked why you say you are going to call and never do....it makes no sense. Why do people act this way or treat people this way.
  8. image removed I thought I looked fatter than that until I saw this picture lol. image removed I swear, I'm always holding my stomach. It just comes natural anymore. image removed heh my engagement ring from Ian. I love it. You really can't see the detail in it that good though. image removed Shirt down. Sorry, my house is a HUGE mess. I used to clean constantly because my mom was always working and never got a chance to but I gave up on it because it would just be like it was before in a few hours. Hope you like them.
  9. I'm posting this in two separate posts… the history (for those interested in knowing the details) and then breakup as it stands. Thank you in advance for any guidance you may have, I'm pretty lost when it comes with what to do next. Synopsis: Girl I have known for 7 years, but never dated, needs a place to stay and asks if she can stay with me. I fly her here, put her up, paying her bills and portion of rent till she can get a job. She's scared because she's completely dependant on me and that's something that's never happened to her before. After a month, we start dating. Everything is blissful. Two months later, we're engaged. She didn't have a job yet so I'm still paying for everything, including her DUI and doctors bills from stuff that happened while she was away in the other state. Things start to get rocky because of her lack of honesty. We talk, she promises to work on it. It continues to happen. I start feeling used. How can I continue to support someone who can't be honest with me? She finally got a job and starts paying her way for things. Things look a little better Lies still going on so both of us agreed it was in the best interest to go get help. We start counseling. She continues to lie about the same things so I have her move out to give me some space. On the way out, she lies about where she placed the engagement ring Now I'm frustrated because apparently I'm the bad guy for throwing her out when she had nothing else to depend on and she claims she doesn't know where the engagement ring is. I want the ring back, I don't know how to proceed through with this whole situation. If she desides to deal with the lies, I think it will work out and we can put this behind us, if not, well, that's her loss. I'm not letting her run off with a 10 grand engagement ring though. The history of her and I I am 28 and she is 26. We have known each other for just over 7 years now. We never dated during this time but we would go to parties together or just hang out every few months. She was a friend of my family so she was always around and we were always flirting, but nothing ever came of it. She moved out of state 3 years ago and we kept in contact through IM and phone calls. She even came back on the holidays. Then things changed 6 months ago. Six months ago, she called from where she was living, still out of state, and said she wanted to come back but she had no place to stay. I agreed to fly her back, and let he stay with me and my roommate (a guy) for a few months till she got herself back on her feet. My roommate said that the rent and utilities would be split 3 ways and I agreed, knowing I would have to cover her third until either she moved out or got a job. A month later, we were dating. Everything was going well except I was a bit bothered that she still didn't have a job so I was paying her bills (cell phone, her share of rent, etc..), and all of her friends were guys which she has slept with, so I was a little nervous about how friendly she was with them. Never the less, I bit my lip because it seemed harmless. Her only issue was that this was the first time in her life that she would be completely dependant on someone and it scared her. I told her I understood how she felt and I would try my best to make sure she was taken care of. After two months after dating bliss, on her birthday, I proposed. We lived together, we were acting like a married couple, and we loved each other very much, I thought, you know, this feels 100% right. This was when it started to go downhill. A few weeks after the engagement, while we were eating dinner, an IM popped up on her laptop that was sitting next to us on the couch that said "Hey, I thought you were interested?" My stomach sank. I asked her who it was since I didn't recognize the name, and she just said to me "Someone I met today while playing online poker". Then she deleted the man's name from her IM list, closed the window, deleted her chat history and shut the laptop off. That one incident planted a seed of insecurity that I couldn't shake. It was way she handled it by erasing any trace of why he might have said that … I just couldn't stop wondering what the deal was. So we talked about it. I told her that trust was paramount in a relationship. I told her that the two things I knew I couldn't deal with in a relationship were infidelity or dishonesty. Something I had already told her before we dated. What was her answer to the problem? She started hiding all her conversations. Deleting logs, erasing cell phone calls. When I realized this, again, we sat down and talked about it. She said that she was erasing logs etc because she didn't want me to take anything out of context. She said it was harmless chatter and she didn't want to get in a fight about it because she knew how I would act. I said I understand, but please stop acting so guilty if you are innocent; it is making me feel insecure. She promised it wouldn't happen again but that of course wasn't the case. After four separate times when I caught her lying to me about 4 different guys I said to myself enough was enough. I couldn't handle it anymore. I told her I needed her to leave. I needed some space to sort out my emotions and I can't do it with her around. We packed up most of her things and she moved in with her girlfriend 40 miles away. On the way to dropping her off with her g/f, I noticed the engagement ring was no longer on her finger. I asked where it was and she said she left it at the house under the bed on my side. When I got home, the ring wasn't there. This all happened last week.
  10. My ex- broke up with me three weeks ago and I'm about to send a brief letter to get my engagement ring back as part of my healing process. The letter states: I have always respected you and stuck by your side through thick and thin. When I proposed and asked you to marry me, we made a promise to eachother. You broke that promise. Please send me the engagement ring back. -Me
  11. I haven't posted my story on here because don't want to write it all out but in a nutshell, was with my ex-gf since the beginning of our senior year in high school. We were together for six years and broke up this past October. She actually met a new guy - her brother's friend and basically left me for him. I was devastated, I bought an engagement ring... Isn't crazy how we think we know someone so well, that we think they love us as much as we love them and then in an instant it's all over...
  12. My boyfriend said to me that one of my Christmas gifts is very very major and important...and is about "how much he loves me". He also said it is one of a kind. What could it be? Do you think it is a promise ring? He told me to prepare and brace myself because of the majorness of the gift. What do you think?
  13. So, I get tired of him I walk around the house thinking all these bad things about him being there. I don't know what to do. He just sits there and watches T.V. Recently, I got arrested for Assault in the 4th degree. It would be a violation of my release to reside in the same place w/him. HE knows but he just sits there and plays with our 2 daughters. Is there something wrong w/him? Does he want me to go to jail? I told him to leave. He wouldn't! He has family to stay with and I don't! He knows....it seems like he is stuck! He calls me nuisance but why is he still w.me? I don't get it...he bought me a ring for christmas and engagement ring...he is so dumb sometimes...I wish he would at least get out for a while......
  14. I think I have come to the realization that there is no hope in salvaging my relationship. Now, I am sitting with a ring that I am paying insurance on that I want to sell. It's a painful reminder to see it. I called back the jeweler I bought it from, and they are going to check and see if they need the diamond like it. With this forum, I am sure many of you have gone through the same thing. I just want to get rid of it. I am sure I will not get what I paid for it.
  15. I have a business partner/lover. Friends for maybe 4-5 years prior to becoming closer on a personal level(about 2 years). Lately (in the last couple of weeks), he has been extremely distant on a personal level. We only talk about business and maybe occasionally about minor things that are going on. Prior to this we talked on the phone several times everyday. I am a pretty level headed person, but I have been receiving mixed signals from him which I don't understand. One week after his "transition" we were talking on the phone and he was giving me hints to my Christmas gift. From what I gather (physical evidence including-receipts!) the gift if at least four figures in price and it's jewelry (not an engagement ring), he made that clear. I know your question as to whether this gift is for me...I am 99.9% sure and it is not wishful thinking. Question..Why such an expensive/personal gift if we are not together on a personal level? Now I have heard of "guilt gifts" but, not one so expensive. What's the deal?
  16. Boyfriend and I have been together going on 3 years now. We also have a very beautiful son who's 9 months old. The thing is, I know it'll be another couple years before we actually get married, due to other circumstances. But in the meanwhile I keep nagging him about having at least an engagement ring to tie me over. I guess I figure after 3 years and a child together it'd be about time. Then again my mom says i'm pushing him too much for it. And honestly, I probly am. He tells me i'll get it soon and when he's ready for me to have it. I know this seems like a petty problem, but I just feel like we love each other, know each other in and out, of course we still have problems but are always able to solve them, have been with each other this long and have our son, and thats all thats missing. I guess I'm just ready for the next step. I keep thinking maybe he'll surprise me for christmas or on our anniversary with it, but i'm not holding my breath.
  17. So, link removed That article is very old. Actually, as old as I am. I was born in the same month that article was first printed 24 years ago in 1982. It is meticulously detailed, very informative, and just as accurate today as it was when it was first written. It's a very long read, and I actually have read the whole thing. I would recommend it to anyone if you have the time, or at least the first four pages. The last three pages detail threats to the diamond industry which never materialized. If you don't have time to read it though, I'll try and give you the short version. Today diamonds are widely recognized as being highly valuable, synonymous with displays of love, and a virtual necessity to get engaged and married. This was not always the case. In its rise to power the Deer Beers diamond company changed all of that with what is probably the most successful advertising campaign in history. The article details how De Beers shaped public opinion starting in earnest in the 1930's. Prior to the late 30's diamonds were used in engagement rings but their use wasn't universal. But they were pushed heavily by De Beers. In a brilliant advertising move similar to common practice today, De Beers paid to make sure that the prime character in romance movies received a diamond ring. They also made sure that the actresses wore their big diamond rings when they were in public. That, combined with more traditional advertisements and soon having a large diamond was seen as a necessity to prove love and get engaged. But then mines with smaller diamonds were found. No more large ones. Solution? Advertising that pushed the cut, clarity, and overall quality of a diamond rather than just the size. Later on there was a problem with the original generation of diamond recipients no longer needing them (death, divorce), and the diamond rings were being passed down. This would have killed the diamond industry. Solution? Advertising that stressed "A diamond is forever." As in, it's forever for the person who receives it, and if a man really really loves a woman he will buy a diamond just for her rather than settling for some hand me down. Throughout De Beers has successfully cultivated the false notion that diamonds are rare. They aren't! Their supply is tightly regulated by a monopoly. If diamonds were subject to the kinds of supply and demand laws that other commodities are, and their supply wasn't tightly controlled by a cartel the price would crash. Contrary to popular belief, diamonds also are not particularly rare as gemstones go. Other precious stones like rubies and emeralds are more difficult to find. Page four of the article has some funny stories about people who tried to sell their diamonds. News papers bought diamonds as an experiment and tried to sell them years later. They proved to be terrible investments, to put it mildly. I'm currently thinking about getting engaged, and doing preliminary ring browsing and research. I already had the perception that diamonds were overpriced and un necessary. Now, I absolutely refuse to buy a diamond engagement ring. If my girl gets an engagement ring, it wont be a diamond. It will most likely be an emerald. I've got quite a bit of money saved in the bank, and I'm more than happy to spend a couple of thousand on a ring for my girlfriend because I know she deserves it. It just wont be a diamond. What is everyone's thoughts on this? Women, do you absolutely positively have to have a diamond engagement ring? Why or why not? Have your views been changed by the information contained in that article? Men, what are your thoughts on diamonds? Would you ever consider getting the woman you wanted to marry a stone other than a diamond?
  18. I'm concerned about letting my girlfriend down when it comes to getting her an engagement ring. I know exactly what she wants and it's out of my price range. There were 2 things that crossed my mind: 1) Go ahead and tell her that it's out of my range at the moment and hope that she understands. 2) Get her a similar ring but in white gold in hopes that she can't tell the difference. I know how important a ring like this can be, but I feel that there should at least be some form of compromise. I feel that how much the ring costs shouldn't hold a candle to the love and commitment behind it. I'd appreciate any advice or opinions!
  19. It has been over a year since my ex left me. I have been sitting on quite a bit of money that I had saved for her engagement ring. This is the final piece that I have to let go of so I need to do something with it. I am over her but still get that twang in my stomach everytime I see this account I opened for her. I will invest part of it but I would like to know what others have done in similar situations to make them feel better? I was thinking of a vacation, super-bowl tickets, etc...... I think my problem is that I don't want to regret blowing all of it but I would like to have some fun with it after all the heartache. For those of you who have sold rings or been in situations like mine, what did you do? Did you regret it afterwards? Thanks, Nap
  20. So my BF of 5 years last year gave me an engagement ring (a moissanite ring, cheaper than diamond but as pretty) to shut me up. We started living together and he knew I wanted a ring. He did not ask me to marry me. He just said "now we are officially engaged". 10 months have passed by and I tried to mention marriage/a wedding twice. Both times he clammed up. Won't say no or yes, but shows NO enthusiasm. How does it make me feel? Last night I was in a bad mood (because of other things). The conversation veered towards us and I ended up mentioning how resentful I felt that he never made plans with me, that he never talked about marriage. We will be together 6 years next month. Again, he says nothing. I lost it and took my engagement ring off and said our engagement is off (although we are now living together). I said there is no point in being engaged if we (him) don't have a plan, a timeline to get married. What do you guys think? Does engagement mean future marriage in the horizon? Do you have to have a period, month or year when the wedding will take place?
  21. I was with someone for 4 years. About a year ago, she wanted to get engaged so I bought a ring a little after that, and we were engaged by March of this year. She wanted to move in together, so we went out and bought a place together over the summer. But about a month after we bought the place, she started having a lot of doubts about us. She had said that she hasn't been happy in the relationship and that she wanted to figure a few things out. Basically it was a "time-out" for the relationship. I gave her a little space, but everytime we talk, she seem to bring up the fact that we're no longer right for one another (her sentiments, not mine). I begged her to try to at least make it work, but she said that her heart wasn't into it. She said she would think it over. Last night she came over, we talked and she decided it was time to end the relationship for good. It was very hard for me to take and for her to tell me. However, the most difficult part was that she was wearing the engagement ring, and I had to watch her take it off her finger and place it in front of me. It felt like slow motion and that is the scene that I keep replaying in my head. In the end, I gave her everything she wanted and she said we weren't compatible. I feel betrayed and hurt, the two things she had said repeatedly over the course of our relationship that she wouldn't do. I know it's dangerous but a part of me hopes that one day she'll walk in and say she made a big mistake and want to work things out. I have no idea how I am able to be at work today. I've been in a funk ever since she wanted her own time and don't know how to snap out of it.
  22. I've had enough time since my ex fiance left me to clear my head. One thing that I can't seem to let go is she won't return the engagement ring. I initially just wanted to forget everything and move on but I'm starting to feel like a sucker. OK, it's over and I'm movin on but this is just not right. I have made an appt. with an attorney to persue filing a suit. I don't like the idea of going this route but it's an expensive ring. She broke it off and the decent thing to do would be to return it in my opinion. Anyone have an opinion?
  23. It is very clear to me that my boyfriend would like it if I were to propose to him instead of the other way around. I am planning to propose, however I don't know what to do about engagement rings. I plan to find a ring for him that would double as his wedding ring, but what about me? I feel selfish wanting an engagement ring of my own, but I can't deny my feelings about it. I don't want it because I want an expensive piece of jewellery. I don't. I want it because it is a symbol of our commitment. I have a diamond I would like to remount in a $119 setting. Does anyone have any comments or suggestions on how I could give him a ring and get myself a ring? Should I just wait until after I propose and see what my boyfriend has to say? All advice would be welcomed.
  24. Hi everyone My boyfriend (25 yrs old) and I (24 yrs old) have been together for almost a year, and he asked me to move in with him a couple of months ago. We are madly in love with eachother and enjoy almost every moment together... but I told him that I don't believe in sharing a place before marriage. He respects my wishes and has done nothing to try to change my mind, but he's been talking about the kind of house he dreams of us living in, asked me what kind of dog we should get, etc ever since that conversation. I get the feeling that he intends to marry me based on these clues and because he said he can't wait to share everything with me, but I need him to clearly state that he wants to marry me, and give me some sort of time frame. I'm going to graduate college this December, and he'll be getting his doctorate four months after that, so I need some sense of permanence in the relationship to justify not moving out of state or pursuing a steady career until he graduates (so that we can make decisions together.) I know that it would be best for me to just ask him what he wants and be specific, but that's so hard to do and I don't know how to approach him. I wish I could just tell him that I want to marry him once we both graduate, and that I don't care about a fancy engagement ring (that he can't afford right now) so he shouldn't worry about waiting and saving up for one...but I don't want to pressure him or be unromantic. What should I do?
  25. I am back to give another update if anyone cares to read it. Some of the stuff I have to say may make more sense if you read my previous posts. It has been two weeks to the day since my on & off girlfriend of 8 years dumped me. I can honestly say I am feeling a lot better but not good about everything and I will tell you why. I spent the first 1 1/2 weeks beating myself up, saying to myself that everything was my fault and i put her through torture for 8 years. I treated her like crap and that I used her for 8 years. I am starting to realize that I was buying into what she has been telling herself and others in order to disassociate herself from me and make herself feel better about her decision. Don't get me wrong, I know what i did was wrong, I couldn't see it then but I do now, and have for a long time. Everyone has regrets, I have always felt guilty about it and I always will. I take full responsibility. What i am not going to buy into anymore is that times were ALWAYS bad. I am also not going to buy into everything she has to say now because she was the one hiding phone conversation with another guy from me, wanting to move to the same city as him and asking abut people in his life..etc.. I was completely devoted to her for a long time and now she is the one "emotionally cheating". I admitted to things I have done wrong in previous posts. Things that I was not proud of, stuff that disgusts me to this day. I was young and dumb, and had communication issues, mainly with problems in the relationship. I do feel however that we communicated on a much deeper level in regard to ther things than she is letting herself believe. There were times when we did a lot of soul searching together. I do want to stress HAD communication problems. I have been very open and honest with people about a lot of things even when it comes to admitting the dumb things I have done. I have not been holding anything back. I feel like I am finally free after being locked up for 16 years. (we were high school sweethearts for those of you that did not read my previous posts) Not that I think it is any better but I never physically cheated, It was never in my mind to do so. I guess a good way to put it is that I emotionally cheated and she never got over it even though she never mentioned she was still struggling with it until 6 months after SHE picked out her engagement ring!! We had looked over house plans, we had talked about when we wanted to have kids, what part of town we wanted to live in and this was all long before we even went together to look at rings. Can someone really fool themselves that well into thinking they are happy and want a future with you?! I guess what it comes down to is she is making me feel like crap in order to make herself feel better about what she is doing. She has not accepted any responsibility for things that have gone wrong, especially when it comes to letting me by a ring, making me think we have a future, etc.. Some of the reasons she gave were from many years in the past and if she can not let go of some things that happened in the past then we were doomed to have no future. We are both very different people from what we were back then and it sucks that I am payng for mistakes now that I made along time ago. I am sorry if this doesn't make a lot of sense to you, Hopefully people can understand where I am coming from and if you think I got what I deserved then tell me, maybe that is what i need to hear. I hope I didn;t bounce around to much for every one lol just kinda writing as it comes to me.
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