maew Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 I thought I would start one of these, I feel like I probably don't talk enough about my dating experiences, partly because I don't have a captive audience to listen to my ongoing rants In the last 2 years I have had a number of different experiences... what I am finding is that I am learning something each time about what I do and don't want. In the beginning of my dating journey, I was pretty naive... anyone that gave me the slightest attention I jumped all over! And, somehow I thought because I had always been passive in my marriage, I needed to try being the aggressor when it came to dating. What I didn't realize was that being the aggressor ensured that I was pursuing people that were not all that invested in getting to know me....instead, they were happy to have their egos stroked. The resulting behavior from their side was pulling away and ignoring texts for days on end. My ex was a very aggressive person, so I think I have been attracted to men that are more passive. This has it's benefits and challenges.... I don't ever feel afraid of or suffocated by them, but I also find that I end up feeling massive anxiety because they aren't pursuing me in the way I am normally accustomed to being pursued. I also think I have been very afraid of falling into a committed relationship, because I don't want to feel trapped. In my last relationship I completely lost my voice, and the strength of will to make good decisions for myself. I stayed for many years longer than I should have. I want to learn how to take risks and commit because sharing love with someone is a beautiful thing... without losing my voice. Easier said than done! Link to comment
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