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Found 3 results

  1. Hello, I have been dating a guy (28 years old) for 3 months, he asked me to be his gf recently. He is treating me very well but he constantly follows new naked insta models. These girls are people that he cant meet obviously but the problem is I find the fact that he is following and constantly seeking out naked woman very disrespectful. Also, the fact that he told me he will only have eyes for me and I will see with time that I can trust him, but despite saying these, him following these accounts doesnt look good to me at all. I am conflicted. On one side: - I know that guys and girls can look at other people and find otehrs attractive while in relationship too. I follows celebrities and footballers that I find attractive. But I wouldnt follow D... pictures on social media especially when I was in a relationship. It would be disrespectful to my bf and I am sure he would be worried if he saw my social media activity following bunch of accounts with d... pics. I find him following naked insta models on insta totally disrespectful. And He appears as a thirsty guy in my eyes now, who is constantly seeking out naked woman (but again I dont know if this is normal for men). - Indeed, before meeting him i've always wondered how my friends or other girls put up with such disrespectful treatment. I always told myself I would never be with someone who disrespects me like that. (Plz correct me if I am being so harsh). - So, since it has been only 3 months, I am considering to end the relationship by saying something like "we are not compatible" and continue dating and choose to be with someone who wont do that. Because I think that if I try to talk to him about his social media activity, I might appear as a controling person. Also, I dont want to tell him what to do. If he is happy following these women, he should. I shouldnt be preventing him. It shouldnt be a forced decison, it should come naturally from him. Perhaps he is not done exploring? On the other hand: - I am thinking about keeping it very simple and telling him: "I know its normal for both man and woman to look at other man and woman and find others attractive but following these accounts and constantly seeking out naked woman is disrespectful." I will also tell him that I always told myself I would never put up with such activity in a relationship and see what he will say and take it from there. -- I dont know which option is better. I feel that this relationship has a potential if we could get past the insta issue. Also, the reason why I posted here is, I want to get more opinions. Perhaps, I am overreacting and being overly jealous? Perhaps I should change the way I think about the whole thing? For instance, some people might say he is a men and men are visual, so if he is loving and caring and making me feel beautiful, loved etc, I shouldnt worry about social media. But on the other hand, his social media activity is not making me feel respected. Also is it really healthy to lust over others when in a relationship with someone you claim you care about? I would appreciate your opinions, what should I do?
  2. I broke up with my ex around 5 months ago. It was my decision to end it. We were together for around 1 and a half years, but I would say for the best part of a year I was very unhappy in the relationship and was toying with the idea of ending it, I just needed to get the courage. I finally did it, and was comfortable in my decision. One of the main reasons for ending it was that we were very different people. We mixed in different circles, had very different ideas on life and relationships, and I felt a great deal of pressure to live up to her expectation of what a boyfriend should be like. She was in it for the long haul. After 1yr she was talking about moving in together, which was way too fast for me and I got the impression from her I was a disappointment as I couldn't make those promises to her at this stage in my life. She was a big life planner where as I wouldn't have a clue what I was doing that weekend let alone in a years time. She was full on with everything, where as I am very laid back. We were very very different (not always a bad thing, but it showed in this relationship) There was a myriad of other reasons as to why we broke up, but the bottom line was that I couldn't see myself in it long term and didn't think it was fair on her to continue. This led to me being very unhappy which effected my self esteem and our sex life. I must add that we did have a lot of good times also. I learned a lot of life lessons from her, and was very into her and did enjoy the relationship at times. But I was never sure if I truly loved her. I finally ended it and as mentioned before was comfortable in my decision. I said to myself that I refuse to do the online stalking thing, and deleted snapchat/ unfollowed her on facebook and instagram. Mainly because I know she's a relationship person and very rarely single (whether it's serious or casual). She's also very pretty and never had any trouble gaining male attention. There wasn't much time between me and her last ex, and the last thing I wanted was to see was her getting close to someone else, because although I ended it, I still had feelings for her. For around 3 months we spoke on and off and she made quite a few pleas to reconcile, telling me she could change, and that we should give it another chance. I felt like that was a bad idea as I could not see it working, and really wasn't prepared to go through another break up. She made a last ditch attempt 3 months ago from which she said, I needed to tell her definitively there and then if there was a chance me and her could getting back as she needed to move on with her life. I told her it wasn't going to happen, gave her a kiss and walked away. I haven't spoken to her since, but last week a friend of mine told me she's currently seeing someone. It crushed me completely. I looked on her instagram and could see pictures of her and this new guy on holiday together in Egypt and my heartbroke. It's obviously not a casual thing if they're on holiday, and it just blows my mind how can she move onto that level of relationship so quickly. All of my sensible thoughts and rational way of dealing with this breakup instantly went out the window. I started questioning my decision, feeling like I'd made a mistake by ending it, felt instantly jealous, and was having to stop myself from texting her to try and win her back. Now I know I don't have a leg to stand on. It was me that ended it. She tried to get back with me and I still said no, but I am still absolutely heartbroken to find out she's with someone else. I'm very surprised at how badly it's effected me. Does this mean I'm still in love with her? Should I try and get her back before she goes mega serious with this new guy and I miss my chance? Part of me feels that it's already too late, and that'll crush me even more. One of the main reasons it's hit me so hard is because I'd been taking it easy and had not been pursuing other relationships. I don't have any love interest right now and it feels like she just jumped straight over to the next guy, and is very happy. Like she's completely forgotten about me. It makes me question our relationship. If she can move on so quickly, was what we had just fake? It didn't feel like it at the time. Should I trust my gut instinct from when I broke up with her, and let this time pass? Last thing I want is to break up again in 6 months, if I manage to win her back I've been fairly lucky in love and relationships to never of been massively hurt before, so this is a first for me and I'm really struggling to deal with this heartache. Any help/advise would be greatly appreciated.
  3. Hey guys. So, where on earth to begin... I met a girl in a bar some weeks ago, we started dating, things were going remarkably well. She seemed unbelievably sweet, and it's killing me how attractive I still find her. She'd insist on buying me food and everything, really seemed into me. Would seem genuinely worried if she showed up late. After a couple of weeks, she departed on a pre planned trip to Paris to visit a friend. The day she went, she suddenly stopped replying to my texts, ignoring the final one I sent. It seemed odd, but I decided she's just busy on holiday and put it to the back of my mind. I didn't text her again until when she was almost due to return home. I sent her a simple message telling her I had something cool to show her, no biggie. No reply. Two days later, I noticed she had blocked me on WhatsApp. I messaged her directly enquiring what the deal was, she eventually replied some half assed message as if all was good. I then replied, but was again ignored. I waited a couple of days, slowly realising that I was clearly dealing with a head case. Curiosity then got the best of me and I proceeded to message her again, asking what the deuce was issue, and why the sudden massive U-Turn. She replied, telling me that her ex boyfriend had contacted her and she now feels too guilty to talk and be with me. She said she likes me, but the memories with him are too painful to ignore. I then told her how I felt about her and that I thought she was making a mistake by just ditching me so suddenly. She didn't go for it, in a nutshell. She said she was so sorry for blocking me and hurting me etc and told me she was too weak to resist. She also insisted I wasn't just a rebound for her. I reiterated how I felt etc and said there's nothing much more I can do then. I thought that would have been that, but she messaged my the next day then saying that she'd decided not to see the ex again now, as she is afraid of a new relationship. She also said she now needs time to think and be alone. So I replied saying I understood that, also reiterating my feelings, in a non pushy way. There seemed to be a glimmer of hope and I planned to message her in due course to rekindle things, only to discover that she has now blocked me suddenly on Instagram too, which is basically game over for me. I feel hard done by, I know it's not her fault to still be hung up on her ex, but I think the way she handled it, ignoring me and blocking me when I wasn't even pestering her, was appalling. Leaving me to ponder what was going on was so selfish. And to not even give me a chance, even though she had been telling me she liked me all along, is very disappointing. To completely cut me out, not even leaving her options with me open, just because an ex suddenly decided he wants a pop again, enrages me. So she basically was with me, did a big U-Turn, told me it's because she couldn't resist the ex she missed so much, then seemed to do another U-Turn on him, then blocked me once again. Pretty indecisive stuff. With the exception of the bitter end of this situation, I went out of my way not to come across as needy or desperate, whilst actively conveying my desire for her in an appropriate manner. So I feel pretty hard done by here. I really really liked her and the past few weeks have been hell on earth for me psychologically, truly. I think I preferred it when I believed she was deliberately playing games with me, now that I know what's gone on I find it excruciatingly painful to accept, it could have been so different. She's due to fly home to South Korea in a couple of months, but that didn't seem to be an issue when she was dating me. Wether the ex is there waiting for her, or here in Ireland like me, I will never know. Having said that, I wonder if this other guy even exists... I suppose some one this unpredictable and indecisive isn't much use to me anyway?
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