A Recollection of Online Dating (mis)Adventures

[ms201242]

I agree...why was HE the one she asked? I am going to ask him that, without sounding too insecure.

 

I remember when we had this conversation back in April, he told me that his ex tried to get back with him after they broke up. I think what's bothering me is that while I trust him, I don't trust her.

[notalady]

Is he friends with his ex? Do they keep in contact usually?

[ms201242]

I'm not sure...he's never brought it up and I've never asked. I texted about half an hour ago and he said he's still at work. Either he's lying or she found a ride from someone else. I've never had reason to believe he's lied to me before....

[ms201242]

I'm officially psycho (this is my period week so I am using that as my excuse). They kept him at work until 11 PM and I eventually texted and asked him if he ended up seeing his ex after all, or if she found a ride. He said she called someone else, and then reassured me that I have nothing to worry about. He is the most kind hearted, genuine person I have ever been in a relationship with...I had no reason to doubt him.

[Batya33]

I agree...why was HE the one she asked? I am going to ask him that, without sounding too insecure.

 

I remember when we had this conversation back in April, he told me that his ex tried to get back with him after they broke up. I think what's bothering me is that while I trust him, I don't trust her.

 

On the one hand the only important thing is that you trust him. On the other hand, you can be concerned that he is making a choice that might put him in an awkward position/potentially lead her on.

[ms201242]

Completely agree, batya.

[ms201242]

Last night I had trouble sleeping. I woke up 5 or 6 times throughout the night. EVERY time I fell asleep I had a nightmare, most of which had to do with A. Made me feel very weird and put me in an odd mood today.

[ms201242]

On a lighter note, we are headed to a concert tonight and it should be a lot of fun! We have great seats and are going to get dinner and drinks before the show. Fun Saturday date night!

[ms201242]

Had a great time last night. The concert venue was about a 45 minute drive from my apartment, so we left about 3 hours before it started so we'd have plenty of time to get something to eat & so that traffic/parking wouldn't be an issue. We chose a cute burger place to eat at. They had a small bar so we were able to get a few drinks as well. At one point, I looked out the window, and my mom and brother were walking right in front of us! It was completely random. They were in a hurry so they couldn't stop to talk, but it was nice to see them for a quick second. While we were finishing our drinks, it started raining pretty hard. We headed to the venue when it let up - it was about a half mile walk. We were almost there when it started pouring again! We both got soaked but stayed in good spirits.

 

The concert was delayed by an hour due to weather but the wait wasn't awful. We just hung out and talked, having a good time. We ended up running into a coworker of A's, and he FINALLY introduced me as his girlfriend. We've been dating close to 6 months and I had no doubt that he considered me his girlfriend, but most of our introductions thus far consisted of "Hi ____, this is A" or vice versa. I was all smiles for the rest of the night. Funny how all it takes is a small gesture to make your day.

 

I also wanted to mention that on Friday night, he told me about a conversation he and his ex had recently (I am guessing this conversation exists because she needed to ask him for a ride, per my posts above, but I didn't pry). He told me that he got the feeling she is jealous of our relationship. As much as I hate admitting this, I was almost happy to hear that. I've never been the type of person that people are jealous of. I didn't grow up with money or status, I could stand to lose 20 pounds, I've gone through long periods of time being single, etc. So, it felt good to hear that. On the flip side, I know how that feels, so I do feel bad for her in a way. To me, it also says that she can tell that his relationship with me is better than what it was for her, so although it's coming from a bitter place, in essence that could mean that our relationship as a whole is better.

 

Stepping off the soap box now, pulling myself out of that bitter & insecure place, and focusing on positives for the rest of the night! Here's to a fast paced, but good week!

[ms201242]

A is traveling this week so I am going solo this weekend. Heading to a town a few hours away to spend some time with family that I don't get to see often. I'm so excited! We have a fun weekend planned.

[ms201242]

I had such a great time with some of my family this weekend! They used to live a half hour away but about a year ago they moved to a different part of the state. It's about a 3 hour drive from where I live. I realized how much I took that for granted before they moved.

 

It rained most of the way home so it took forever to get back into town. A was supposed to come home this morning but his flight got cancelled. I am about to take a nap and then head to the airport around midnight to pick him up. I am going to be exhausted tomorrow at work! Kind of sad we had to cancel our plans for today because of the flight issues, but I was able to spend more time with my family which was a great trade off.

[ms201242]

Getting a little nervous....I *might* be having a pregnancy scare at the moment. Last month, I forgot my birth control pack at A's apartment and missed 5 pills. I've done the research, and know that if you miss that many pills a backup method is needed for at least the rest of the month. However, in a moment of weakness, we had unprotected sex on the 5th day of not taking my pill. We also had unprotected sex the next day as well, which is when I started taking the pills again.

 

I did not get my period until the day I started the next month's pack of pills, meaning I did't get my period at all when I was supposed to, during the placebo pills. Even then, my period only lasted two days and was fairly light. I chalked this up to missing 5 pills in a row; I figured my body was sort of out of whack and trying to adjust to the hormones.

 

I've been tracking my period for several years now, and I am 100% regular from my birth control. My period comes every 28 days, and lasts 5 days each time. I was also able to use my period tracker to see that when we had unprotected sex, I was "fertile" and scheduled to ovulate just 2 days later.

 

The week after my "period", I had what felt like light menstrual cramps for about 3 days in a row. At first I thought I was getting a UTI, but never had any symptoms other than the cramps. I've also noticed the following symptoms, which I don't typically have: naseousness (almost everything I eat makes my stomach feel uneasy), constipation, extreme fatigue. It might be too early to have real symptoms like that (it's been 4 weeks since the unprotected sex) but I'm trying to make note of any changes to my body.

 

Anyway, I'm not going to worry about it until it's time for my next period. Or, if curiosity gets the best of me I'll take a test in a week or two. I will be happy no matter the outcome. I mostly just wanted to document what's going on with my body right now in case this happens in the future.

[notalady]

I would take a pregnancy test as soon as it's possible to test. So you'll be ok with being pregnant with A's baby?

[ms201242]

It is a tough pill to swallow, but would be the outcome of my actions and I have to take responsibility for it. I am pro choice and feel strongly about a woman's right to make a choice, but if i do turn out to be pregnant, there is no doubt in my mind that I'd keep it.

 

Is it an ideal situation? NO! lol. But like I said, we made a bad choice and will have to deal with those consequences. We are both mature, secure in our relationship (however new it may be), and financially stable, so I am just trying to tell myself it could be worse.

[ms201242]

[also, seeing the words "A's baby" there in writing makes this feel a lot more real, and a heck of a lot scarier]

[Batya33]

It is a tough pill to swallow, but would be the outcome of my actions and I have to take responsibility for it. I am pro choice and feel strongly about a woman's right to make a choice, but if i do turn out to be pregnant, there is no doubt in my mind that I'd keep it.

 

Is it an ideal situation? NO! lol. But like I said, we made a bad choice and will have to deal with those consequences. We are both mature, secure in our relationship (however new it may be), and financially stable, so I am just trying to tell myself it could be worse.

 

And the child also has to deal with the consequences, not just you and your boyfriend. It's good that you're financially stable and mature -that would come in handy given the newness of the relationship (i.e. if it ends up you have to co-parent). Sounds like you wanted to get pregnant and that he did too if he knew you'd missed the pills.

 

Since you would want to keep the baby I would stop taking the pill until you know whether you are pregnant.

[ms201242]

Just bought a test. I am going to take it first thing in the morning; I hear that's the best time b

[Batya33]

I've heard mid-morning but I don't think it matters much.

[notalady]

I think it's meant to be first urine of the day or similar, but yes I don't think it matters too much.

[ms201242]

Well, I took it, and it was a very quick and very clear NOT pregnant!! I'll take another one in a couple weeks if my period does anything funky.

 

We'll just call this a lesson lol

[Batya33]

Well, I took it, and it was a very quick and very clear NOT pregnant!! I'll take another one in a couple weeks if my period does anything funky.

 

We'll just call this a lesson lol

 

Sounds like good news. I never was pregnant when I had a clear negative result so you're probably fine.

[ms201242]

Yes, definitely good news!

[ms201242]

I would've been happy if the outcome was different, but I want to do this the right way.

[notalady]

Glad you are not pregnant. Have you and A discussed such possibility since you did have sex without protection? I would've taken a day after pill if it was me in the same situation.

[ms201242]

I probably should've taken plan b but for some reason the thought didn't even cross my mind. I guess I wasn't even afraid of the possibility at the time. A knew I missed a few pills and was relieved when I told him I got my period. I didn't tell him about any of the other symptoms though. I wanted to wait until I knew for sure.