A Recollection of Online Dating (mis)Adventures

[ms201242]

Just so I'm being true to myself, I want to post the events of today. There were a few things that happened, one of which genuinely hurt my feelings.

 

As I mentioned a few posts above, I had plans to hang out with A and several of his friends today. He invited me to an event they were all going to. Even though he invited me, I paid for my $50 ticket. He pays for me more often than not, but I know he's had a lot of expenses lately, so I offered to buy my own ticket. No big deal. We go inside the event hall, and I needed to register (he and his friends had already done this step yesterday, but I was not with them yesterday). Although the line was moving rapidly, there was easily 600-800 people in the line. I got in line, expecting him to follow, but instead he said "call me when you're inside, and I'll meet up with you". At that point, he and his friend walked off. Maybe I'm just being emotional lately, but I found that to be incredibly rude. He invited me to this, I rearranged other plans to spend the day with him, and he just left me in a line by myself that could have taken an hour to get through. Not to mention, we went to another event 2 weeks ago where I stood in multiple lines with him for 3-4 hours at a time without a single complaint. If I'm being completely honest, it hurt my feelings so much that I was fighting back tears. I think it was a combination of that plus what happened yesterday that made it bad.

 

After about 10 minutes of waiting in line, he called me and said he realized how rude that was of him, and he joined me in line. I was relieved.

 

The day went about as well as it could. We pretty much stuck to ourselves at the event and met up with his friends afterwards at someone's house. We cooked, had a couple drinks, and played a few games. I felt very welcomed by his friends. I'd met most of them before but hadn't spent much time with them. When I left they all hugged me which I thought was a good sign.

 

I also had a fairly heartfelt goodbye with A, which also made me feel better. I am hoping that what happened this weekend is just a fluke, but I guess only time will tell.

[ms201242]

Feeling bummed today. I've had some intense mood swings lately and they are no fun whatsoever. I think it might be related to the events of this weekend although I admit it's kind of an extreme reaction. This used to happen to me all the time but has calmed down a bit since I got on the pill. Right now I feel like breaking down and crying at any little thing. For a while I thought about seeing a therapist but haven't ever gone through with making an appointment.

[ms201242]

Had a much better today. I kept very busy at work today which helps. I like to keep my mind occupied. I don't think I've mentioned it here before, but for the past 6 months or so i've tried to maintain a workout regimen. I'm not always great at it and I certainly don't eat like I should, but I weighed myself today and I am the lowest I've been for at least 4 years. I've lost 15 pounds, which only equates to about a half pound per week, but I truly haven't stuck to my plan as regularly as I should. My goal is to lose 40 more pounds. I know in order to do that I've really got to get my butt into gear. I don't have a deadline, but by next summer I would like to feel comfortable enough with my body to wear a bikini on the beach. I have a naturally curvy body frame plus I'm tall, so a few extra pounds doesn't look bad on me; I just prefer my body to be more toned than it is now.

[ms201242]

Had a great weekend with A after not spending much time together last weekend. We are going to spend the holiday weekend next week with our own families so I probably won't see him for two weeks. I'm kind of bummed about that, but glad we both get to see family that we haven't seen in months.

 

I asked him to be my date to another wedding that's over a month away and he accepted right away. I'm relieved - we are right at the 4-5 month mark where relationships tend to get reevaluated and although I'm 110% sure I want to be with him and I know he likes me too, there's always that uncertain feeling that things could end at any moment. I'd be blindsided for sure but I understand that feelings & people change. I feel that in most of the relationships I've been in, after 4-5 months you can pretty much tell if you do or don't want to be with that person and pursue a long term relationship. He hasn't met any of the friends who will be at that wedding, so I'm also excited at the chance to introduce him to that part of my life.

 

We also had another milestone this weekend...he met a family member for the first time. My brother came over and hung out with us for a while. They got along great. I could tell both of them were on their best behavior LOL. He hasn't met any of my other family members and I haven't met any of his family at all, so this seemed like kind of a big step.

 

Lastly (sorry in advance for the gushy details), we always kiss when we say goodbye at the end of the weekend. Usually it's a quick peck and a "have a safe drive home!". The past couple times we've said goodbye, he's been a little more intimate with me, putting both arms around me and giving me more of a long, slow kiss. I love those moments and appreciate every second.

 

I can't help but feel like we're growing and our relationship is evolving at the perfect pace....it just feels like things are supposed to happen this way. We've still never had an argument. Conversation is light and easy. I look forward to every moment I get to see him. I sure hope I am right.

[ms201242]

Had a surprise visit from A last night...quite welcome as I was disappointed about not seeing him for 2 weeks, potentially. He's good to me.

[ms201242]

While I am incredibly and wholeheartedly thankful for the job I started a few months back, I am tired of being so BUSY! It's never ending. Luckily I'm able to work from home when I need to, so I don't have to spend long hours at the office. I do get sick of working all day, taking a break to drive home, and then working for at least a couple hours in the evening. Although getting OT pay is nice, it never seems like it's enough to make up for the time I could have spent doing other things.

 

Over the last 4-5 years I've racked up more credit card debt than I care to admit...it's a serious problem. My goal is to pay it completely off within 2 years. With the raise I received by starting this job I think that's entirely possible. Im horrible at sticking to a budget, but I feel like I don't have a choice at this point. I'm pretty much maxed out, which is a horrible, gut wrenching feeling. I saw a post on Facebook today about how modern day slaves are tied down by debt, not by "owners" and that is so true. I lived outside of my means for so long - it's going to take a while for me to get to a comfortable place again. I'm confident I can make it happen though. I keep a spreadsheet, and at the end of every month, I input the balance of all my accounts. This way I can see the progress I've made over time.

[ms201242]

Once I finish with CC debt, I'll move on to my student loans...that's a whole other story

[ms201242]

Going camping with my mom this weekend in the middle of nowhere....if I don't report back soon then I got lost in the woods

[ms201242]

Made it home safely and boy am I exhausted. We hiked, swam, camped, ate, made fires, shopped, rode horses, and more. Oddly enough my favorite part of the weekend is knowing that I got plenty of exercise which will obviously contribute to my goal of losing more weight.

 

I've hardly talked to A this weekend but when we did talk, things seemed normal enough. I'm going to chalk it up to him just spending time with his family and won't say anything unless he acts weird this week.

 

I don't have anything planned for the next 3 weekends, so I'm looking forward to some down time and also saving some money!!

[ms201242]

If I'm being honest, I was kind of getting inside my own head and letting my insecurities get the best of me this weekend and today. I was worried that A may have been acting weird for a reason, and that maybe he was having doubts of some sort....even typing that out I feel silly because our relationship is so great. I'm just terrified of losing him I guess. I called him this evening and we got to talk about what we each did this weekend. It was nice because we usually communicate through text messaging. He'll call me every now and then but in general we stick to the texts. I'm fine with that, but I wanted to hear his voice today. After we hung up he sent me a message that said he appreciated the call; I thought that was nice of him to acknowledge.

 

Things were completely normal after that. We sent a few more texts before we said goodnight, and he even invited me to an event that is over 3 months away. That made me feel great! Sometimes I feel like I get insecure & nervous way too often/easily and that it's not normal. I'm an anxious worry wart at heart.

[ms201242]

I was up late last night and ended up working 12 hours today. I am worn out. I'm sure I'll enjoy the little boost I'll get on my paycheck with all the overtime, but for now I am exhausted. Here's to hoping I can get a lot done tomorrow so that I don't have to log on this weekend.

[ms201242]

I want to post two things that happened this weekend, one of which is great, and one of which is not so great. I know there probably aren't many people reading this, but I would love some feedback on the latter event as it's thrown me for a loop.

 

I'll start with the good news. A and I reached a milestone this weekend in the number of months we've been seeing each other. I had debated mentioning it to him as I was excited about it. However, I am not one with words, and I kept going back and fort on whether or not it was significant enough to even bring up. I tend to keep my emotions inside and rarely have emotionally charged conversations unless someone else initiates it. Even then, I tend to get a little awkward and don't always let on to how I'm feeling, hoping the conversation will end just as soon as it starts. If we had been dating a year, or had reached a "larger" milestone, then of course I would want to celebrate, but this was not that significant of an event. I am unreasonably self conscious about certain topics, and I know it's a bit ridiculous. Anyway, we had dinner at one of our favorite (casual) restaurants on Friday night and somehow stumbled upon the topic of fancy restaurants. We tend to keep our dates casual and have never really treated each other to something fancy and super expensive. He made a comment about how, when we make it to our 1 year anniversary, he will take me to a really nice place. He then did the exact thing I was debating - he brought up our current "anniversary"! I was surprised that he even remembered, and thought it was very thoughtful of him to mention. It may sound insignificant, but this isn't the first time he's sort of read my mind and made me feel comfortable around a situation that I was not at-ease about. I love that he keeps track of things like that. He is such a genuine, caring person and I feel so lucky to have made it even this far with him.

 

Now for the not so good news. A and I have great chemistry pretty much all the time. Whether we are hanging out at home or in public, we just mesh well together. We make a great TEAM. We've been sleeping together since our 3rd date which, admittedly, is pretty early in a relationship. I think we were both okay with the pace, though. At first, things in the bedroom were fantastic. I was blown away by our sexual chemistry. However, as time goes on, he seems to have more and more trouble ending things for himself, if you will. It's gotten to the point that he only finishes every third time or so that we sleep together. The other times he just can't, and chalks it up to being tired. I haven't said anything to him about it yet, as I don't want him to be self conscious, and I want to handle it correctly. However, it's starting to make ME feel self conscious now that it's happening more and more. He did tell me that he and his last ex broke up because he found that they weren't compatible not only out of the bedroom, but in the bedroom as well; he just didn't have that attraction to her. Another thing is, we typically don't have sex more than once a week, so it's not like we are doing it too often either. Any advice? Like I said, I want to handle this correctly.

[ms201242]

Finally feeling like my running is paying off. I've been going fairly consistently for about 6 months. There's been a few weeks where I didn't go at all, and a few where I only went once or twice. I try to do 3 miles, but often only do 2 or 2.5.

 

Last night I tried on a dress for another wedding I have next month, and holy moly batman, my legs look GOOD! They've never had the definition they have now, ever in my life. The muscles are growing and when I flex you can tell even more. I'm a happy girl today

[ms201242]

Had such a busy week so far. It's Tuesday night and I've already worked over 30 hours this week. I need a break!!

 

Today I was able to view the pictures from the wedding A and I went to last month. There are several of the two of us in the pictures and it made me so happy to see them. He's such a great partner to have.

 

He recently started calling me by a pet name, which he's never done before. I love when guys do this (call me babe, sweetie, etc) for some reason...it feels affectionate.

 

Anyway, trying to remind myself that life is good as my mindset is getting distracted and going downhill with all this work I'm having to do.

[ms201242]

Posting this here because I need to vent and/or just get my thoughts in order.

 

I have a good friend (we'll call her B) who I met through my (gay, male) roommate a little over 2 years ago. We clicked and became friends pretty quickly. When my ex broke up with me at the end of 2014, she helped me immensely. She invited me to hang out several times a week and texted me every day. She's kind of a quirky person, but I try not to pass too much judgement; I enjoyed her friendship despite many red flags that I noticed.

 

At the beginning, our friendship included my roommate 100%. The 3 of us spent a ton of time together. B lived about 10 minutes from us, and she would come over almost every day after work. During the day, the 3 of us texted constantly in the group text conversation she started. This was all in addition to her and I going out at least twice a week (my roommate is a homebody so it was typically just B and I if we went somewhere). It wasn't long before I considered her one of my best friends. During the summer of 2015, my roommate started dating someone and essentially dropped off the face of the earth. Neither B or myself took this very well. I've known my roommate since we were 12 years old and this behavior was totally unusual. It wasn't your typical I-can't-hang-out-with-you-on-weekends-anymore-because-I-want-to-hang-out-with-him-instead situation. He dropped out of our group text & didn't reply to individual messages anymore. When B came over during the week he locked himself in his room. Hanging out outside of our home was non-existent. It was definitely odd behavior, but at 25 he'd never been in a serious relationship so I suppose he didn't know how to handle it.

 

At this point, B and I continued to hang out/text/talk just as often as we used to. We started running at a local park 4-5 times a week & have kept this up until present day. We'd often complain to each other about my roommate because we felt unimportant after so many years of friendship, but tried not to let it get to us too often. Around this point in time, I stopped going out to bars & clubs as often as we used to. I don't care to drink in excess, and I'd much rather be at home binging on movies at midnight on the weekends (I know, I lead such an exciting life). B still invited me out all the time but understood, for the most part, why I didn't want to join. Every now and then I would go and have 1 or 2 drinks, but B and our/her other friends we'd go with always wanted to stay until closing time and gave me a hard time if I wanted to leave sooner. Also, they frequently wanted to go to bars with high cover charges. I have a good paying job, but don't want to spend my money recklessly on things like that.

 

Before I start the next paragraph, I'd like to say that I have no judgements against people in particular professions, and actually am an advocate for women & men who work in the sex industry. They are providing a service, helping people (who need those particular services), and doing what THEY want to do. That being said, people in those professions tend to have particular lifestyles. I am totally stereotyping here, but I am only going off of what I've personally experienced.

 

A large portion of B's friends work at strip clubs, bars, or offer online "services". The ones that I know in person have a particular lifestyle of working from 9 PM until 4 AM and sleeping all day. They also like to drink....A LOT. To the point where it's borderline alcoholism. They work all night and sleep all day, and drink in between. Some do hard drugs as well. Again, I'm all for you doing you, but I have my own preferences on how to live my own life. I work a 9a-5p job, M-F. I can't function at work if I stay out all night during the week. I take my career very seriously and see myself climbing high in my industry. Anyway, getting back to the point....B's work schedule is the same as mine. However, she does not enjoy the usual benefits such as PTO, sick time, overtime, medical insurance, etc. Ever since I stopped going out as much, she's almost doubled the number of times per week she goes out & gets wasted. She moved in with one of her friends who is a stripper & seems to be heavily influenced by the different lifestyle. She's started spending money she doesn't have, calling into work when she knows she won't get paid for the day, drinking & driving, doing drugs occasionally, etc. She's just completely changed from who she was when I first met her.

 

Anyway, as you may know from my journal, I started seeing someone almost 5 months ago and have spent almost every weekend with him since we met. Because of the distance between where we each live, we don't see each other during the week very often. Since my relationship began, I've continued to talk to B every day, and continued our running schedule as well. We don't hang out on weekends anymore, but to be honest, we had already stopped hanging out on weekends because I didn't care to go out & drink. I didn't mention this above, but B is in her mid 30's, 6 years older than me, and receives a TON of pressure from her family to get married & have kids, because of her family's culture. Our conversations during the time we spent together slowly evolved to her constantly complaining about how she was the only single person she knows. She accused me of spending too much time with A and that my relationship was not healthy because of it (I didn't realize 2 days a week was unhealthy). All I could hear was that she was jealous of it, but I obviously never said that to her. She started sleeping with not 1, not 2, but THREE married men around this time as well. Ever since that particular conversation, I've made efforts to hang out on weekends, text consistently, etc.

 

A few weeks ago, B had a birthday party on a Sunday evening at a local club with a pool. I texted her that morning telling her I had to work for a few hours, but then I would be there. I received a 1 word response. It started raining, so I texted her a few hours later to see if they were still there (since it was a POOL party), and to tell her I was finishing up with my work. No response, so I didn't go. It made no sense to show up to a pool party at a club charging a $40 cover when it was raining after I got no response and had no idea if she was even still there! I did see a few posts on social media and noticed that only 3 of the 38 people who were invited actually showed up. The next day I texted again, and she still didn't respond. Ever since, I've texted once or twice a day, with either no response, or a 1-2 word response. Yesterday, I asked if she wanted to run, and she said "idk if I'm going", and nothing after that. I just logged onto social media, and she tagged herself at the park we always run at. She's obviously mad at me, and I think it's because I did not go to her birthday party.

 

I am so incredibly stressed about this. I still consider her one of my best friends. We've obviously become distant & separated over the past 5-6 months but I truly felt like I have been making an effort and she's being a selfish brat with a poor me attitude. I have so much tension in my body, my neck, my back, etc., every time I think about this situation. I don't know if I should apologize, and if so, for what? With the way she's changed, do I even want to continue our friendship? I guess I'll just have to find out in time.

[ms201242]

I talked to A about my last post this weekend because I wanted to get an unbiased opinion (even though I'm his girlfriend, we are always honest with each other and don't "sugar coat" things just to make each other feel better). He told me that he thinks I should apologize to my friend B, even if I don't feel that I am in the wrong. He said that I should be the bigger person and bring up the conversation first because he knows that I truly care out our friendship. I still have to do some thinking and it may take me a couple weeks, but I think he is right, and I am going to do it. I can't waste years of friendship over a few bad weeks.

 

Other than that, I had a great weekend with A. We explored some places of our city we had never been to, went to dinner Friday & Saturday night, and just enjoyed each other's company. I'll be out of town next weekend so I'm not sure when I'll see him again, but hopefully we don't have to wait 2 weeks (until the weekend after next). When this has happened in the past, we've always made an effort to see each other during the week so I am sure that's what will end up happening.

 

At dinner on Friday, A told me that a few months after we started dating, one of A's friends told him that he seemed "much happier" since he started dating me. He hadn't told me about that conversation before, and I can't stop thinking about it, smiling every time it crosses my mind. He's not one to talk about feelings & emotions often, so when he lets me in on these little nuggets of "feelings" I savor it. Another reason I'm glad I started this journal, so I can look back on it months from now and remember the details and little moments I may have forgotten about.

[notalady]

Sorry I'm late to reply but I don't think you have anything to apologise about to B. To start with she accused you of spending too much time with A and that it's unhealthy (2 days a week is unhealthy?), has poor manners (didn't respond to your message when you asked if they are still at the pool place), and has been acting out ever since.

 

But more importantly and fundamentally, your lifestyles are simply incompatible. I wouldn't pay $40 just to get in to a place unless it's for a show or concert or something. Just for entry? Hell no. When I have a birthday party, I give my friends a couple of options (all of which I'd be happy with of course) to see if everyone would be cool with it, and it is with consideration to the price range that everyone would be happy to pay. My friends do the same. It's called being a considerate friend. No one invites 300 people, just 5-10 close friends.

 

As I get older (mind you, only 31 lol), the more selective I've become about my friend group, I've distanced myself from friends who didn't make enough of an effort to keep in touch / catch up, friends who I consider as incompatible (I take compatibility just as seriously in friendship now as I do in romantic relationships), that includes values, personalities and lifestyle, I also distanced from those with red flags like character issues. Life has been much simpler, happier and drama free since I've done this.

 

Sometimes people are not meant to stay in our lives and you need to know when to let them go.

[ms201242]

Thank you for the response, notalady. I've been thinking about this a lot, and I agree. I haven't apologized. I don't think I have anything to apologize for. B has posted a handful of things on social media (4-5 posts) that I am positive are directed towards me. Very petty in my opinion.

 

In other news....I'm a ball of emotions this week. I've been feeling really insecure, which I absolutely hate. I've been thinking long and hard and really trying to figure out why. The truth is, I think I'm just scared of the future. I've been crazy about A since day one, there's no denying that. I've had feelings of love from the start, but now, I know that I am completely in love with him. It's been almost 6 months and I want so badly to tell him I love him. I'm just terrified that he doesn't feel the same. I know he has strong feelings for me, I just don't know if he loves me yet.

 

He'll start his temporary relocation in about 6 months and that is putting intense pressure on the situation, for me at least. I'm so afraid that if I tell him I love him and he doesn't feel the same, that I'll be too invested in a relationship that has a potential expiration date. In short, I'm afraid to fall and get hurt.

 

What do I do? Do I go for it and tell him I love him? Or do I hold off until he says it first?

[notalady]

If you're already feeling it, saying the words doesn't make it more or less true or change your feelings, at least for me it doesn't. But it might make you feel more vulnerable / insecure if you said it and he doesn't reciprocate. Is that something you can handle? If so then go right ahead. If not maybe just hold off.

 

I too would feel a bit off if someone I've been dating seriously for 6 months hasn't said I love you yet. I'm lucky I never had to worry about it and the guys always ended up saying it first within the first few months.

 

How is he behaving? Other than not saying the words, does he act like he's really into you?

[notalady]

Just adding that sometimes the delay is because they're unsure about you, but sometimes is because they are less in touch with their emotions, which means it takes them longer to decide how they really feel about you. That seems to be so with a few guys I know that didn't say it to their partners until 6-12 months.

[ms201242]

Personally, I'd rather wait and not say it yet than have it not be reciprocated. I will just try to stay calm for a few months and then reevaluate. Although I've always considered us to be serious, I don't have any doubts because of the fact that he hasn't said it yet. Now if it had been close to a year without it, then I'd be really worried.

 

He absolutely fits the profile of your second post. He may be in touch with his emotions, but he rarely talks about feelings. I judge his level of commitment by his actions, which do say a lot. I've never really wondered whether or not he was interested, so that's always a good feeling.

[ms201242]

I always appreciate the input

[ms201242]

Big progress this weekend! A met my mom for the first time, as well as a group of my close friends from high school that i don't see too often. One of my friends got married, and A was my date. I think things went well - my mom was very friendly towards him and they got along great. We hung out for 3-4 hours until my mom left. She had a few drinks and said a few things that may have been over-inviting, but I can't really blame her for having a genuinely kind heart (only for putting too many thoughts into words lol).

 

The wedding was beautiful - we all cried during the vows (including the bridge and groom). Everything about the ceremony was wonderful. I've been to weddings before that seemed too planned and rehearsed and just not as genuine as they should feel. This one had just the right mix of everything, and I couldn't be happier for the couple.

 

I hope this next paragraph isn't TMI, but I really want to document how great of a time we had. When we got back to our hotel after the wedding, A and I were both exhausted, but we stayed up cuddling on the king sized bed, talking about how the night went and catching up in general since we were busy with the rehearsal dinner on Friday night. He even made a cute comment about how we were having "pillow talk". When we started to become intimate, I was feeling overjoyed by how great the night was and about how happy I've been with A so far. I was kind of imagining, if I am so lucky to make it that far with A, how our wedding night will feel. After a few moments, I could tell that A was being exceptionally tender and kind (not that he isn't usually, but this time was different), and part of me wonders if maybe he was thinking the same thing. When we were done, we fell asleep facing each other, with our arms around each other. It was so sweet....I never want to forget these tiny moments of love.

 

He woke me up this morning and we watched the olympics before getting brunch with some friends. Overall, a fantastic weekend

[ms201242]

This week has been a bit of a rough one so far. I have been working my tail off and a particular co-worker is just bent on making my life hell. Luckily, my boss totally has my back so we all sat down to have a meeting today & all say our piece. We had some good communication and I think things will get better soon.

 

In other news....I had a dream last night that A broke up with me. I hate how I seem to have these dreams almost once a week. It makes me feel insecure even though in reality our relationship is great. I woke up feeling relieved that it was not real. We had our usual "good morning" texts, and then he sent me this: "I know you don't want to hear this, but my ex needs me to give her a ride home tonight because her car is in the shop. I just wanted to let you know. I'll pick her up and drop her off right away". My response was "I trust you and I appreciate that you let me know what's going on".

 

I do trust him, but this situation terrifies me because of how my last real relationship ended. A knows the story of how my last relationship ended....I posted this back in April:

 

 

Last weekend, Aaron and I talked about our most recent relationships. I'm not a huge fan of talking about ex's, but I understand that it's important to know where your partner left off and how serious it was. I explained to Aaron that I was blindsided when my ex (H) broke up with me for HIS ex, because we had a fantastic relationship. I did admit that in hindsight I should have seen the red flags because H frequently brought up his ex girlfriend in conversation. Even the first week we began talking, I remember that he brought her name up multiple times. That seemed to be pretty consistent throughout our relationship, but I was naive enough to give him the benefit of the doubt. They'd been pretty serious, and lived together in a house he bought for the two of them. H's full story will be coming up pretty soon; hopefully this doesn't get too confusing.

 

Aaron's told me that he and his most recent ex had been together for less than a year, and although she was a great person, they just didn't have the chemistry to maintain a romantic relationship. Ultimately, she ended it.

 

All of that being said, I have noticed that Aaron has brought up his ex girlfriend in conversation multiple times as well, and I've always been cautious because of that. I've grown tremendously over the past couple years when it comes to dating and what to look for, so I had no plans of ignoring potential red flags. At this point, it's too soon to confront him or make a big deal out of it, but prudent to keep a mental note.

 

I received a text from Aaron tonight which said that he had been thinking about our conversation from this past weekend and after I told him about my ex, he will stop bringing up his ex girlfriend in conversation so that I don't become worried over that happening again. He reiterated that they are completely over and that he would hate for me to worry over something that is a non existent issue.

 

 

I don't know if I should worry about this or not. I've been dwelling on it all day unfortunately. I keep thinking about if I was in his shoes, and my ex needed a ride home. I honestly think I would say no. I'm a big fan of not looking back/getting involved with ex's in any way. I guess I'll just have to see what happens.

[Batya33]

Without knowing the details it seems to me that his ex must have someone else to give her a ride and/or she can call a car service or an Uber-like service. I wouldn't like it either. If it were an emergency and she was stranded somewhere, fine.