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About Me

  1. Let me preface by saying if you’re going to insult me or be condescending, pls save it. I’m only looking for a response that is respectful. I’ve lived with my bf for a year. We dated about 6-7 months before moving in. He is almost 40 years old and since we started seeing eachother, he’s had a string of promiscuous and flat out nasty 20-somethings on his Facebook. Mind you, I don’t just say that because of the age. I mean half naked, overly sexually charged nonsense all up and down his news feed. The type of stuff you would see on back page. I know because one of them added me as soon as she knew about me. Never introduced herself, just to be nosey. But I got a glimpse of this person and how she carried herself. Others had public pages that I looked at. He also has regular female friends on it, I never have had a problem with that. I’m not crazy, but I demand respect from a partner and I feel that keeping females like that in close proximity is really only for one reason. I’ve been through the ringer with social media cheaters and just cheaters period and I’ve made it known that to me, that’s inappropriate and I’m not okay with it. Long story short, there is one female that he just can’t seem to let go of. His story of how the two are aquatinted has changed a couple of times, and he also told me the pair went out to lunch before we started dating. One minute she’s just a friend of a friend, the next, she’s his friend and I just don’t want him to have any female friends and he takes jabs at me for being insecure. I get the feeling he has been romantically interested in this girl and doesn’t tell me the truth. One time he thought I went into his computer and was reading their conversations and almost blew the roof off the apartment. I didn’t, of course. On top of that, I’m concerned because I feel like we are co-existing. He spends all of his time on social media. (I’m talking rolls over in the morning and gets the phone, to is up to all hours of the night on it) I’m at the point where I feel not only like I’m competing with whatever he has going on on the apps, but that neither of us is happy. And if that’s the case why even be in a relationship. Of course when I try to have a real discussion about any of this with him he gets on edge and starts screaming at me. Is there anyone who can see where I’m coming from with my concerns? I’ve posted on other forums and I’m always made out to be in the wrong.
  2. Hello, I have been dating a guy (28 years old) for 3 months, he asked me to be his gf recently. He is treating me very well but he constantly follows new naked insta models. These girls are people that he cant meet obviously but the problem is I find the fact that he is following and constantly seeking out naked woman very disrespectful. Also, the fact that he told me he will only have eyes for me and I will see with time that I can trust him, but despite saying these, him following these accounts doesnt look good to me at all. I am conflicted. On one side: - I know that guys and girls can look at other people and find otehrs attractive while in relationship too. I follows celebrities and footballers that I find attractive. But I wouldnt follow D... pictures on social media especially when I was in a relationship. It would be disrespectful to my bf and I am sure he would be worried if he saw my social media activity following bunch of accounts with d... pics. I find him following naked insta models on insta totally disrespectful. And He appears as a thirsty guy in my eyes now, who is constantly seeking out naked woman (but again I dont know if this is normal for men). - Indeed, before meeting him i've always wondered how my friends or other girls put up with such disrespectful treatment. I always told myself I would never be with someone who disrespects me like that. (Plz correct me if I am being so harsh). - So, since it has been only 3 months, I am considering to end the relationship by saying something like "we are not compatible" and continue dating and choose to be with someone who wont do that. Because I think that if I try to talk to him about his social media activity, I might appear as a controling person. Also, I dont want to tell him what to do. If he is happy following these women, he should. I shouldnt be preventing him. It shouldnt be a forced decison, it should come naturally from him. Perhaps he is not done exploring? On the other hand: - I am thinking about keeping it very simple and telling him: "I know its normal for both man and woman to look at other man and woman and find others attractive but following these accounts and constantly seeking out naked woman is disrespectful." I will also tell him that I always told myself I would never put up with such activity in a relationship and see what he will say and take it from there. -- I dont know which option is better. I feel that this relationship has a potential if we could get past the insta issue. Also, the reason why I posted here is, I want to get more opinions. Perhaps, I am overreacting and being overly jealous? Perhaps I should change the way I think about the whole thing? For instance, some people might say he is a men and men are visual, so if he is loving and caring and making me feel beautiful, loved etc, I shouldnt worry about social media. But on the other hand, his social media activity is not making me feel respected. Also is it really healthy to lust over others when in a relationship with someone you claim you care about? I would appreciate your opinions, what should I do?
  3. My wife and I are 6 years apart; she is 23 and I am 29, Gen Z and Millennial, respectively. She is very into Snapchat, and has running chat streaks with people and gets bummed out when they are broken, stuff like that. I believe it was back when we were dating (married for 14 months now), she got upset with me because I sent her something on Snapchat, but I also posted it to my story for all my friends to see. She said she didn't want that because it didn't feel like it was supposed to be anything special for her, so if everyone else saw it on my story, too, then why would I send it to her? I said that's something I had always done is sent things to closer friends and loved ones so I could get their direct feedback on whatever it was I sent them, whereas just posting something to my story was for everyone else to just see it and reply if they wanted to. I told her that if I sent it to her directly then I cared a lot about her opinion on it. Well, last night I sent her a video of the gym that is here at the place I'm away at for work for a couple weeks. I told her last week that I'm excited to show it to her, so I sent it to her directly (and only her, directly) and I also posted it to my story for everyone else to see. I did not think that it would be an issue because it's a gym, not anything super personal. Well she replied this morning (we are in different time zones) saying, "I hope literally everyone else has enjoyed talking to you and getting your updates." I seriously don't get it. It's a gym, not personal like the first thing was. So we got into a bit of a tiff about it and she hung up on me and told me to enjoy my 2 weeks away because I told her that was very Gen Z of her to act so entitled when it comes to social media and to hang up on me when we agreed we wouldn't do that and yet she's done it a dozen times to me. But I digress... I asked her what I was supposed to do: was I supposed to not be excited and show my friends the gym, or was I supposed to take a whole separate video to show them? She hasn't replied to that yet. I'm not sure what the big deal is or why it bothers her so much. I think it's childish. Am I wrong? What am I missing, here?
  4. Some background about me: I'm a 21F college senior, about to graduate with a dual degree in Public Policy and Economics from a prestigious university, and looking for a life in academia. Recently I've solidified my goals of getting my Ph.D. and doing research and/or being a professor. I'm very satisfied with that, I just want to read, learn, and come up with mind-blowing theories to solve global issues. And I want to share that with others. My path won't be easy, like any college student I struggle with anxiety about my future and all of the uncertainty that comes with it. Some more background: I've always been tall, slim, and pretty. I am ethnically mixed (Native American, West African, and North African) so I have a foreign type of look that a lot of people like. All my life I've gotten suggestions to go into modeling, but I've always dismissed them because not only do my interests lie elsewhere, but I also have little respect for the modeling industry. I know how horrible and demeaning it can be behind the glamor. Recently however I supported my friend's new clothing brand launch by modeling for her website, and I got a lot of positive feedback. The photographer she hired happens to scout for an agency and asked if he could take my digitals before I was "snatched up" by another agency after the photos dropped. Also, I had much more fun than I thought I would have, and was less awkward in front of the camera than I expected. You could say it came naturally. This may seem like a non-issue but I am seriously looking for advice. I am having a hard time reconciling my (extremely) introverted and academic nature with all that can come from modeling. I'm not sure I want that for myself. I am also fiercely critical of social media (I think it's evil), but I do have an Instagram account because that's where I can keep in contact with people I know, so my account is private and I don't have more than 300 followers. If I model, I don't want to have to deal with social media. I'm not fake and materialistic and those things are useful for a life in the public eye. But if I try to maintain my privacy, it might not even be worth trying because my demand might be low being that people don't know I exist. And the people that follow me aren't very supportive either. I have some great pictures posted but I never get any positive feedback. Mostly, people just ignore me. As I said I'm sort of an introvert but I do have a solid group of friends. Maybe they got tired of telling me I should model because they will comment, like, and share for anyone but me. If you have an Instagram, you know that girls will gas each other up in the comments, and repost their friends. I've never experienced that. This is why I avoid social media because I don't want to measure my worth with those metrics. My mom says they're jealous and I need better friends. That may be true. I think modeling could be fun. I'm no longer in the impressionable stage of life that most models are in when they start (at like 13 and 14 years old!), and I already have prospects for my future because of my education and career goals, so I can drop modeling anytime I change my mind. Additionally, I'm broke and come from a poor immigrant family. If I could make some easy cash for them why wouldn't I?? I knew a girl my freshman year of college who was a model, and she would be flown out to LA for a weekend and come back in time for class with $5,000. Plus, I'm significantly taller than she is, and I have the potential to do runway modeling which pays a lot more. All this being said. I'm a quiet girl and very much a nerd. I feel like I would have to push some of my already established and healthy boundaries in order to do this when I could just continue straight into grad school and my career, and find much more fulfillment that way. Just because I'm tall and pretty does not mean I have to model. But I'm only young once, and this could be fun. I come to you for help because this photographer is waiting for me and I don't want to turn down an opportunity for no good reason.
  5. My ex and I split up about 6 weeks ago. I find it weird that she still follows my gyms instagram account. On top of that, she's only the pictures that my gym would post of me. She wouldn't like anything else. Same goes for the gym where I had initially met her, the posted a picture of me and she liked it. Even when my friends would post pictures on their social media, she would like the pictures of me in it but nothing else from them. Is this weird?
  6. Me and my ex dated for 16 months but within 2/3 days of him breaking up with me he’s got someone else, I think it’s a rebound but he’s saying I’m in denial and it’s serious. Now he keeps telling me about her and his plans to spend time with her, for example that he went shopping for clothes for their date, he then told me the whole date and the clothes he got for it, all without me asking. Do you think he’s doing it because he wants me to feel like he’s moved on or is he trying to make me jealous? I would want to get back with him, but I don’t know whether to do no contact or stay and show him what’s he’s missing. If you think no contact, could you give me some advice on what to do I.e. do I open his messages and leave on read or just not open, do I look on his social media like his snapchat story etc. Thanks for the help and advice. P.s. I’m 17 and he’s 18
  7. Hello! I’m looking for some other opinions then my own. I was 10/11 years old when I did something pretty malicious to one of my best friends. Looking back now I think I just wanted to hurt someone since I was hurting and they were an easy target. I had moved away before doing this, and thus didn’t have many serious repercussions (it was through the internet). I haven’t spoken to her since, but despite it being so long ago, it bothers me more now what I did then back then. I regret it so horribly and don’t think I’ve ever properly apologized. Well now I’ve come across her on social media again, and am wondering if I could message her to apologize for what I did, or if I should just continue on and not bother her at all. It has just always eaten away at me, but again I don’t know if I should contact her or not. Thanks for your input!
  8. Hi all, here's some backstory. I recently decided to start fresh with school after completing one year of college, I am now coming back home to a community college to play soccer for the school and switch majors essentially deeming myself a freshman again. with school and soccer as my main focus plus being back at home with no potential dates on my mind, I though I would end up spending the next two years working, playing, and doing school with no GF, which I was bummed about, but I figured it would be for the better as my last relationship took up the majority of my time and Money often distracting me from more important things, which in retrospect seems bad but it felt right at the time so I can't complain. Anyways... I am training at my new fast food job, handing food out the window to customers when a girl calls me by name (I wear a name tag) and asked if I have a GF, I responded no to which she asked if I wanted one. already flustered worrying about getting orders correct and having my bosses around me, I said come back at 8 (when I got off) and we'll talk. To my surprise, when I got off work and went out to my car, she pulled up. I formally introduced myself and got her name. She's a very pretty girl that I think I would like to have a relationship with, but I then asked her how old she is. She's 17, I'm 19, so she's a HS senior and I'm essentially a college freshman again, only a one year school difference. I was super nervous so I didn't have much time to think so after she said that we both kinda awkwardly smiled at each other, I told her that I'm 19 and that she should come back when she turns 18. she didn't immediately leave so I asked her if she went to school in the area, and coincidentally, she goes to HS in the same town as my Community College. With that info in mind, we ended the convo and went our separate ways. After having a day to reflect though, I am starting to wonder if I made the wrong decision. With the given info I was able to do some online snooping to find a social media account just so I could see her face again as everything was kinda a blur due to me being nervous, so I do have a form of contact if I do decide to change my mind. I have a few concerns that I would like input on though. First and most importantly, she is 17 and I am 19, according to socials, she just turned 17 and I just turned 19 so we are almost exactly two years apart, I really have no issue with this, my grandparents are like 10 yrs apart so 2 is really no big deal, but with the age gap being at such a significant time legally, me being over 18 and her under , I am wondering if this would cause issues or lead to harsh judgement from others. legally, I think I could only get into trouble if there was a sexual side to the relationship, I would being willing to wait the extra year especially b/c I feel like that stuff is much better when you know your partner better anyways, but would this still lead to assumptions from friends and family anyways. I also don't know for sure that she is okay with the age gap, she didn't immediately leave when I told her my age which is a good sign but I could risk total rejection if I were to reach out. next, I would have to reach out through social media and somehow explain that I had to do some digging to find her which might make her feel weird/ creeped out as well. I also don't even know her or anything about her which means we may be polar opposites anyways. Finally, I am not sure if I am obsessing over this because I am truly attracted to her or because its just the fact that Ive never had girl be that forward with me and then show the dedication to drive all the way back 5 hrs later that I am attracted to. I don't want to miss out on something that could turn into a really great relationship, but with all of these complicating factors, I am wondering if it is something that is really worth it. any help is appreciated. thanks.
  9. Me and my girlfriend broke up a few months ago when all this covid stuff jumped off. Everything was great Before and we were both happy and shared all kinds of new feelings we both had from each other and shared lots of experiences that we didn’t have in past relationships. But we both had a tendency to get in our Own heads From time to time and being in quarantine away from eachother wasn’t helping. On top of that she would worry about her bi sexuality being an issue and it was on her mind around that time as well. She was attracted to girls but as far as guys go she would tell me I was the only guy she wanted. I would reassure her I was fine with her being attracted to girls and long story short would even tell her during talks if she wanted to go explore that side of her then she could But she told me she wanted to be with only me and she was happy. Then Next day after a talk about it we got into a bit of an argument over some stuff we were in our heads about and I’ll admit I did start it but I didn’t think it would go down like it did. She then said maybe we need to rethink our relationship and I was legitimately shocked. However the day went on and we were ok kind of. The next couple days she was short with me still and and then on the third day she tells me she’s not sure what she wants anymore, the relationship still means something to her but that we should go back to being just friends and we both agreed. She told me we could still talk of course and everything would be normal but it wasn’t and she would send me stuff on social media off and on for a bit and then stopped and then two weeks went by and I heard nothing. Suddenly I get a drunk text at 2 in the morning that she’s in town near my house and as I ask why she just says never mind and leaves me on read. While all this is going on I still have her xbox which I told her 4 times between now and then that she could get it or I could drop it off whenever but she either ignores it or talks about something else so I just gave up. Then I notice she starts taking to this girl on social media, that she brought up to me before, and she is acting a bit different as well on everything like posting more and all that. Eventually they got together and she starts talking about how happy she is now. I am happy for her, really, but it does sting a bit and that’s natural right? A bit more time goes by and nothing. All of a sudden she texts me asking about my order from a food place and what I got. However she should know because she would tease me about getting it every time but i tell her and I think that’s that....but then she asks me if there are certain sizes....ITS A BURRITO THEYRE ALL ONE SIZE...but I tell her anyway and that’s that. Fast forward to now... She texts me a week ago and tells me she notices I’m not on social media and I haven’t been either for many personal reasons. Then she goes on and tells me her heads in a better place and asks if I want to be friends again because she misses me as a person. So I agree and tell her I miss her too and she tells me we should hang out and catch up. I agree but all I really think it is is so she can get her Xbox and that’s it or am I thinking too “harshly”? It’s the reality of it I think. But I tell her I’m down for it and let her know to let me know when SHE wants to. I haven’t heard from her yet. And yes right now she’s still with that same girl. She still follows all of my friends AND family and vice versa on social media. My brother tells me that my ex posted a really personal story on snapchat saying she feels depressed, lonely, lost and all these other negative things. She used to post things like that venting in public because she doesn’t have many people in her life she can trust but once I came into the picture I would always be there to help calm her down and make her feel better and she hasn’t posted any of that kind of stuff for a while and especially never when we were together. But shouldn’t her girlfriend be making her feel good to where she’s not posting that kind of depressed stuff? And she’s been posting like everything is great for her so where did that come from? I did text her but didn’t bring up the story. I just made it casual and we talked for a bit and that was that. (This was a couple days ago) So my questions are (please answer in this format if possible)) 1.is the relationship shes in now a “rebound relationship” and is she really as happy as she claims on posts? 2. Does she really miss me or think about me? If she really wanted to hang she would have given me a day to right? 3. Why does she text me at random hours or when she’s drunk? (Mind you I’m Not too quick to reply either) 4.is there a chance, in similar experiences, that she may still like me and still thinks about our relationship? Why is she texting me while seeing someone? Thank you for your time Also yeah I get it, it’s a long post but please don’t comment “yOu NeEd To MaKE iT siMpLe” that’s just a waste of time. Come on. I Understand but at the same time I don’t want to miss details I think may be important. I just want help or insight from other people who may have experienced the same thing also
  10. I have been in a relationship as friends and casual lovers for 5 years with a great person whom I have fallen in love with. We have been dating for 1 year and have become engaged for past 3 months. We have 20 years between us in age. My partner was rather permiscuous throughout life when we first met for us it was innocent good meeting and proper build of a relationship with a little I'd say too quick sex at start. I slowed that down right away and we became best frinds and now engaged. I put up with the other people as we were not comitted and it was never in my face and I saw it as still finding ones self after my partner had a bad teen and younger years with partners. The issue. My partners social media has a pile of ex lovers ex Partners amd ex just s lol. I dont think my partner should have any exs unless they are parents of the kids on any social media or phone contact list or media feed. My partner disagrees sees nothing wrong with ex lovers and s on Face book instagram snap chat messenger text. I cleaned my social media of all potential and past dates on my social media when we became serious last year. I suggested my partner do the same. Ingot anger defensive approach total deflection and agression and complete refusal then blocked me from all social media. Eventually cooler heads prevailed back on partners FB but told very clearly dont ever raise that issue im just jealous. With arguments like if I cant trust then we have no relationship. I left it and said I didnt ask you to do anything i suggested and showed what I did as an example. Zero interest in changing. We have been back and forth on this for months and as I catch exs making stupid comments or read messages that ask for sex or obvious get togethers I get in a fight as i state this is why they need gone off your page. They mean nothing to our life today and future. My partner says that nothing occured never responded ignored the comment or stayed look I'm inna relationship and not interested. My position is that's good but delete them so it does not happen we have no room innyour life for them. So am I wrong to want and expect my partner to delete all past lovers s and single people who are trying to hook up? Side not my partner is very attractive and cant walk down a street without getting asked out. Which is fine I just dont expect them to follow on FB a week later then become friends on FB 2 weeks after that. Second part to social media my partner has snap chat and refuses to friend me amd Instagram changed the snap chat from the one with many friends to a new one with just 1 but still wont let me on as a friend. Then recently stopped using the instagram profile with 350 people on it opened a new one without deleting the old one amd now has 50 friends and added me. The other one just sits there. Am I wrong to expect a separation of life from past to present and cut ties with exs or am I just too old and out of touch with new way? I'm 59 my partner is 36. Thoughts cause I am told I am just jealous and out of touch with social media ways for the modern times. Lol.
  11. Hi, About a month ago I asked for advice on the best way to get an ex girlfriend back. A couple of weeks ago I then asked for some more advice in regards to blocking my ex. This will be the last bit of advice I ask for. If you are interested you can read back on my 2 previous posts. I'm going to summarize. Basically, me and my ex broke up at the end of January. We spoke quite a bit and near the end of February I asked her to rekindle things which she rejected. Near the end of March I told her that It would be best if I were to block her on social media so I could get over her which she agreed. It's been just over a month and I have unblocked her because I felt a little better about the situation and I felt like seeing her with someone else wouldn't faze me. She's not currently seeing someone else. A small part of me would still like to rekindle things. I know I have gotten a lot of advice which mostly advised to keep her out of my life. I'm looking to see if anyone has some advice in relation to starting a conversation about starting a new relationship. I understand people will advise against this but I guess I'm looking for someone with advice on how to try to fix things with this girl. I really do love her and I haven't stopped. We were together for nearly 2 years and I know she had strong feelings for me.
  12. I met a guy who lives in a different city and we met when he was on work trip, and we hit it off very well. He was supposed to come back the following week. We met and it went very well. When we said goodbye, he said that he's coming back in March, but if I want I can visit him before he comes back but we can talk about it. The next week (last week), I asked him and he said that he have to check his calendar the next day which was fine. I didn't hear anything from him then he sends me selfie of himself. Later I sent a snap to see if he was going to give me the dates. He just replied with emojis, so I asked if he had checked the calander. He gave me the dates and the only weekend I could was the weekend that he wasn't sure but he would get back to me. He didn't get back to me if he could that weekend. Whenever I would try to start a conversation, he would not reply, send me a one word answer or just reply with emojis. I felt that he didn't want to get to know me but only replying to be kind. On Friday I sent a messag asking if he would like to get to know more because I didn't feel like that. He opened the message right away but didn't reply to me in four hours but I saw that he was active. I was already having a bad day, so I sent him a message saying that I got my answer and good luck (I know that I might have overreacted). He got angry and wrote that if it's how I feel that way there is nothing to do about it. I sent him that good luck and I hope that he finds what is looking for. One hour later, he sends me tons of messages on messenger. We talk and agreed to have a phone conversation on Sunday. We agreed to put the argument behind us and he was going to check if he was available that weekend. However, he said that he doesn't know what he wants during the conversation. I added him back on Snapchat and Facebook. He hasn't sent me one snap since I added him back. He told me that he couldn't that weekend. I said that it was fine. He replied to one of my snapchat stories today which was of my dog. He really wants to meet my dog 🤷♀️ I sent him a snap which waited an hour to open and he didn't reply and I can see that he's active.
  13. Hello, I have come to you for advice. Myself and my ex were engaged and together for 5 years. We postponed our wedding, due to the grief of me losing my father. In the lead up to the wedding, the break up hit me in a bad way. The past year of our relationship was hard and we mutually decided to break up. It was very hard and he showed no emotions, until he posted a picture of 2 girls kissing him on social media and I messaged him telling him that I found it disrespectful. Other than that, he has acted completely fine throughout. He has bought me out of our house and become very cold, deleting all pictures of me from social media this year and now myself from social media, as he believes I cannot deal with the break up he told me when I have moved on and accepted it 'he will read me' as he would love to see where my life takes me, and if I have children etc (strange). I have angered him, as I have constantly bombarded him with texts since our break up, constantly. Which I told myself up to and I know for true advice I need to be open about. He has told me if I hadn't have sent such messages, he believes that he would have come back to me. But now, as he has seen that angry side, he knows he never would. I want him back to much. He tells me one thing one day and something different the next. He goes from telling me he will never come back on a phone call, to saying he can't say never when he came to collect some things, as he didn't think it would happen. We had a hard call around 4 weeks ago, where he told me he wished me happiness and it was very amicable. He said in that call that he didn't believe we would ever get back together and ended the call by wishing me the best. On the Friday, we spoke one phone and he was angry, saying he felt like an idiot when the call ended as he had thought to himself, have we made a mistake. He told me on Tuesday in the morning my actions would show what I wanted when I said I wanted him back, to that evening saying that he categorically wouldn't come back to me and it was unfair to lead me on as he is a nice guy. But in 3 weeks/3 months he would contemplate adding me on social media again. as he wanted to see that I was happy. He has said several times that I just haven't left him alone and constantly sent him message after message which have been hurtful and emotional. I admit I accused him of being with people I know, and said some not nice things. He said that if I would have left him, he would have had time to grieve, but it has just turned now to anger. I am so confused. He is so angry when we talk and I am unsure if this is because of the bombardment. Should I give him no contact and space?. For the past 4 months since we broke up and the 2 months since I moved out, we have been in contact and he has known I have wanted him back. What is my best plan of attack to get him back.
  14. Ok, you guys. Short backstory: Met a girl while she was vacationing in my country, she had just broken up with her bf that day, but we hit it off, she was overly affectionate with me, and within 5 days I told her I loved her. We said we were one another's soul mates, we would post love letters back and forth to one another, and things like that. She ended up coming back to my country 4 months later to spend time with me. We had a blast! We have an 18 year age difference between us, she is 30. None of her accounts online are suspicious in any way and she is very much a real person (the first time she was here I met her family members who she was traveling with, and they all have online accounts connected to hers). I posted about the full story in another thread if you are curious to read it. One letter in particular she sent me was very moving, it was about 60 words long, and professed her love for me, and how we are soul mates; I was the first one to introduce this idea into our relationship and I thought she felt the same. This was one of the letters that I really felt showed how deeply she loved me. But a couple of days ago, I found that exact letter, word for word, on a mildly "internet-famous" person's social media account. It was a love letter that person had written for their partner! My gf had copied and pasted it to me as if she wrote it especially for me. I've spent the last couple of days under the weather upon finding this out. I don't know what to do at this point. When I first read it I knew for sure I must break up with her, and I felt betrayed. I felt I was really a rebound and she was just posting me whatever nonsense she could find to keep me hooked, filling her voids with my affection and a fantasy of romance, using someone else's words to tell me what she thought I wanted to hear. But after some days have passed, I feel like maybe she had read that and thought of me and it was the most accurate way for her to express her feelings for me, and so she sent me it. Kind of like how a greeting card already has the sentiment inside? Or, that she just didn't know how to express her feelings perfectly in that way so borrowed it from somewhere else. She had posted it in response to a social media post I made for her for our 2nd month anniversary. As of now, I am still active in the relationship because I am not sure of what really is going on here, she sends me text messages throughout the day about how much she misses me and wishes she could be here with me so I lean towards this not being sinister in nature BUT there's still the very real fact in my mind that she told her ex she wanted to try again in the future, which naturally sheds some doubt on her believing we are "soul mates." Though, we have begun tagging any social media posts regarding us as "soulmates." I am split between 3 things. (1) Cutting contact, unlikely (2) Being present but understanding she may ghost me at any time, probable (3) Realizing that maybe she was confused the first couple of months due to her breakup and made some choices that could appear bad, but actually represented her deep feelings for me. Most likely One thing that consistently goes through my mind is the possibility that even if in the beginning I was a rebound, or she was over-exaggerating to fill a void, she very well may now be falling for me in spite of earlier poor choices. I now understand we moved very fast, and maybe she just did not have a handle on it, but people can fall in love over time. If I just assume she is using me and I break up with her, I will miss out on a budding relationship. What do you think?
  15. I don't know if my ex is playing games or not. We have been talking on and off for a while and at first she was very cold towards me but as things progressed I managed to get her more warm towards me, being jokey and having a bit of a laugh. Previous to this I had asked her to meet for coffee and although I didn't get a no I didn't get a yes either and after asking again two weeks later I promptly got ignored which has happened before where she will talk then all of a sudden disappear. When she does this I make no attempts to contact her again. She will still however post happily al over social media, so she is blatantly ignoring me. More recently she's been asking questions of me, saying that she's pleased that my job is going well(I got a promotion) and seemed interested to talk. She then once again completely disappears. She ignored me for FIVE days then all of a sudden popped up again answering to my previous conversation and even starting a new one. I replied to her after a few hours and she hasn't replied since, that was six days ago now. I really don't understand why she is doing this. Why start a new conversation if you're going to ignore me? Inbetween this she has added new guys etc and posted happily again all over social media. So she is (I think quite rudely) blatantly ignoring me again. I'm beginning to think she might be playing games? It really hurts when she does this, but I can't bring myself to block her, it's my only means of communication and I still want her back. I'm keeping quiet in my social media and doing my best to enjoy my holidays. Can anyone give any advice? Am I over reacting by thinking it's rude?
  16. Hi! So I have a problem. A few days ago I matched with a girl on tinder and later that day I got her Snapchat. The problem is that I don’t know what questions I should ask the girl. I’ve been asking questions like : Where do you live?, what’s your hobby’s?, What do you study? She seem interested as well because she has been asking me what I do on my spare time and all that stuff. The thing is that I want the questions I am asking to be natural and not like it is a interview and that’s why I am unsure how to handle this and get on a date with her. So my question is to you guys how to make my questions natural and how can I make the girl to get interested even more?
  17. I just started my last year of highschool, and I am already starting to think and worry about the end. I've always been independent, and I dont think that I will be sad to never see some of my friends again, but there is one person that I am really scared to say goodbye to. I had a recent situation while I was on a small vacation where I met a girl, developed feelings for her, then the vacation ended and I didnt get her social media or anything. I was so angry with myself, and learned that I should always take my chances. I dont want the same thing happening to this girl, because I have really developed a great friendship with her. Shes the only person that has truly made me happy when I was with her, and I want her to stay in my life. I don't know what to do to keep her around after highschool without giving off the wrong idea that I want to be her "boyfriend". So far I have no classes with her this year, so i likely wont run into her unless I approach her. Do I just have to accept that I am nutz and most friends dont really keep in touch after highschool?
  18. My boyfriend deleted his snapchat account of his Galaxy S10 phone about 3 months ago. The camera roll for 'snapchat' on Android was in date order and his photos were quite old, however, with some suspicion on my behalf (bad I know), I went into his phone and found a picture of him sent last week, which was of him all dressed up. The question I have is can a photo just appear in the "snapchat" photo gallery on Android, if it's not been sent on SnapChat? The photo had a date of August 19th which is a week last Monday, so to settle my mind and see if my partner is lying I would like to know if this photo could appear in the android snapchat gallery with the date August 19th if it has not been sent?
  19. This is really new to me but I’m really struggling after cutting someone out of my life. Long story short me (25F) him (28M) dated for 8 months. He was always really insecure with me being into him making comments about how I was “the girl in high school who would never have talked to him.” He was really indecisive and always blowing hot and cold. By the end he was negging me in front of his friends and what I now believe to be putting me down so I wouldn’t leave. This was also right before he took a temporary job overseas for a year. I loved him but I finally cut him off and blocked him on almost everything except Facebook where I just unfriended. I know I deserve better but I hate how things ended. I’ve been seeing signs of him/his friends on my social media and I can’t help but want him to reach out. It’s been 4 months of no contact. My friends tell me he will never reach out and to move on. But i keep holding out hope he will return. I need some honest advice here. Thank you!
  20. Hi guys/gals. Sorry for the long detail of this story but want to cover all grounds. So I met a guy on a gaming platform last year and we started playing together and what not. I introduced him to the friends I play with regularly and then we proceeded to all play together. He was always asking me personal questions (nothing inappropriate) such as was I married, what my favorite things were, favorite food, what side of town I lived on (we live in the same city) etc. etc. getting to know me. A few months went by and he asked me for my Snapchat so we could stay in touch and at first we wouldn't talk very regularly but this year in January we started talking everyday. He then found me on Instagram (how....I am unsure but sure enough he did!) We are both single but were always just friendly with each other. One day I told him I felt I was going to be "single forever" (kind of joking, kind of not) and proceeded to tell me that I wasn’t going to be, asking me if I wanted to go get something to eat that night. I was shocked. He had always mentioned one day he was going to meet me but it was just really random and I did not imagine it happening right then. I was nervous - not because I thought he was a catfish or anything (we would Snapchat so I had seen him) it was just nerve wrecking to meet the person you talk to everyday finally face to face. I said okay...he then told me he was nervous (made me feel better lol) but told him to not be. So fast forward, we met for dinner that night (this is February) and it went great he offered to pay for me but told him we could split the bill. So we hugged each other at the end of the night and proceeded to go our separate ways (and played video games when we both got home). After that, we would see each other probably once a week or so. I took him to a company function the next week and after that we went to go eat again. He never posts anything on snapchat, but on this food adventure he took a picture with me and posted it on his snapchat. I know it might not sound like anything, but he never posts anything and I was stunned he put in on his social media. I casually brought it up that night saying omg wow I made the snapchat story! He said “I’d always be on his snap”. So in the month of March we saw each other every week once a week. After our last food adventure, he asked what our next one would be. In February, I had told him about a DIY project I wanted to do at my house and he was very excited about it and wanted to help me with it. So I told him next time, I could cook and we could work on the project and watch a movie – in which this is all happening at my house. He was excited about it just as much I was. Fast forward that next week...sometimes he would go some nights and not say anything to me at all...starting from like 5pm...yes that would make me feel a certain way like what is he doing and he can't say anything or say he's okay? But he spoke on it and apologized for it saying that some things happen at home that put him in a bad mood and personal things go on and I told him it was fine. One night I didn't say anything and that bothered him but I just wasn't having a good day and told him when he does it to me I don't say anything or point it out, which is why he apologized and explained what goes on…telling me he cared about my feelings.He said he felt comfortable talking to me about personal things and I told him I'm glad he did that he could talk to me about things anytime. So that Thursday night, he didn't say anything. In my mind, I'm annoyed because he does it and just apologizes over and over again, after saying he wants to fix not saying anything and at least let me know some things were going on. (We've known each other for about 7-8 months at this point). The sorrys just got tiring...that's all. He's asking about my day and such and we're both having a busy day at work so I'm not responding how I usually might. We were talking then all of a sudden, he leaves me on read....he left me on read Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and then Tuesday…in my mind...somethings wrong. We’ve never gone this long and not talked. But I see he's on Snapchat...so finally Tuesday (after being persuaded by a friend to say something) I asked if he was okay…he said he was fine and he stopped talking because I was being “short” and took it as me not wanting to talk to him anymore and he left it alone. I was stunned, and confused. I was not being short… Attempting to not be mad, I asked him why he thought that and asked why he couldn’t have said that earlier? He said he thought I knew. That angered me. There is not a huge age gap (I’m 27, he is 25 next month) but I found that response to be extremely childish. Am I a mind reader? No. I’m upset at this point. I was being logical with him and asking him if he had asked me if I didn’t want to keep talking to him. He said no and he guessed he should have. He said he assumed I didn’t want to talk to him anymore. How could you think that? We have plans for you to come over and help me with my project… I never once said to you I don’t want to talk to you anymore. He then proceeded to ask me what my answer would have been if he asked. I told him never mind that, did he want me to leave him alone? He said “I think it’s best we go our separate ways I have too much going on” and I said “as you wish” and we have not spoken since. Assumptions are the worst possible thing one can have and act on for that matter. It hurts. He then proceeded to keep watching my social media stories and that triggered me. Who do you think you are? Telling me you think we need to go our separate ways but lurk on my social media? Going our separate ways? But we’re just friends? I took him off everything but he still follows me and watches my stories to this day but doesn’t say anything. Why is he watching my stuff still? Mind you he hasn't taken me off anything. He was like the male version of me... we just clicked...Yes I liked him but we never did anything nor did I ever bring it up because I wasn't sure if it was mutual. My friends said yes he likes you CLEARLY he talks to you everyday sends you good morning good night wants to see you help you with handy things etc etc. He would tell me I was beautiful and send me the kiss emoji if I sent him a picture of myself or hug me when I saw him, as I would too. I’ve left it alone because in my mind there is a maturity gap and I’m still upset. But at the end of the day, when I see he is seeing my stuff, it hurts…I miss him. I miss our friendship. I miss our conversations, us hanging out. I honestly have no idea what went wrong and how this escalated where but I am prideful. The pride in me keeps me from reaching out because this is what he wanted. Not me. It’s been three weeks or about a month or so. My friends say he wasn’t expecting me to be okay with just saying we shouldn’t talk anymore and was probably hoping for a different response and that he didn’t view me as just a friend…well I’m not 20 and if someone tells me bye then okay I guess it’s bye… but I’m still over here conflicted. And I know for a fact it’s not because of another female. I see things that make me think of him and I want to send it to him, but then I tell myself not to....I feel like he might think I hate him or I'm like super mad at him and I'm not...I'm disappointed he let a mental assumption end our friendship like this. I went from talking to him all day everyday to not speaking to him at all and anybody who knows that feeling understands the pain. Do you think if I reached out and asked how he was doing that would be okay, or should I just leave it alone completely? I have the strong urge to be like "so you can watch my stories but can't speak (:" (in a playful banter way but I don't know)
  21. Hello all. Sorry this will all sound a bit gibberish but I'm not coping very well with everything. I've been speaking to my ex since December 2017 and we got together in Febuary 2018 which may have been a bit quick but it seemed right. A month later he had blocked me on all social media and we had a rough patch. He got back in touch a couple of weeks later and we started talking again but we agreed to just have hook ups with other people. We eventually got jealous and hit another rough patch. We started fixing it in April 2018 and officially got back together in the June. We had no blips then for 10 months, we didn't argue or fall out or have any reason really to worry about our relationship. He had bought me a holiday for in September and I didn't have any reason to doubt it would happen even with the Bipolar. Late March he admitted to me he would have to go back into recovery to help his mental health. He was living in Sheffield for Uni but he got home sick and also had come off his meds and was waiting for new ones which he went on going back into recovery. He asked at the time what it meant for us and he was worried If I'd get bored or horny and want to meet other people and I said no. I didn't see him until the following Sunday (mothers day) due to him settling in and when we met up everything felt normal. We laughed and cuddled and he messaged me going home saying how great it was to see me and we planned to meet the following weekend. However, the next day everything still seemed fine. He told me he had paid off our holiday and was so excited. We continued talking like normal but on the Friday morning he split with me saying he needed to focus on recovery and he wouldn't be ready for a relationship for a long while (last year he had told me we would never sort things out and did so you never know how true this is). He was instantly back on Grindr and as far as I'm aware it's just for hook ups but even then it seems so quick. We haven't really spoken since the split. He messages every few days but only a couple of times and leaves me on unread. He is following what I'm up to though whenever I put up a Snapchat story. I don't know if this is meaningless though or if there is a bigger picture. I'm just lost without him. I miss his presence. It's the not knowing if he's just lost his head and is having an episode and will want to try and fix things or if he's completely finished with this relationship and I'm not sure how to move on. I have him on such a pedastool. I'm sorry this is really long for strangers to read. I expect one response at most. But thanks for reading anybody who does.
  22. This has me worried considering I have an academic background in literature. I don't know if this has to do with physical or mental health or perhaps age (I'm 36). This sort of reading wasn't difficult in college - I was told what to read, why, what to look for and how I can compatibalize my reading into my writing assignments. Now, I find it harder to keep my head wrapped around read subject matter for long ... and I'm not sure why. I've been reading a lot lately and love books. In fact, I have collected a rather sizable collection of books across a number of topics, but mostly have to do with storytelling, non-fiction writing, social media, social media statistics, business operation books and marketing. This is due, in part, to a career change I'm trying to make and a podcast project having to do with the arts. So, as you might imagine, I have a lot of reading to get through and a learning to get done. But, herein lies the problem. While I can read fairly fast, the information isn't being retained. My memory of what I'm reading is scarce and slips my mind some hours after reading it. It may just be I have forgotten how to read (somehow) or unconsciously I only want key ideas kept in my head. Either way, I'm not sure what it is that's keeping me from being a stronger reader. Anyone got some advice for increasing my reading ability or should I embrace better reading techniques to keep the information in my head? Thanks in advance!
  23. My ex and I broke up a month ago and in that time we talked a few times. Sometimes we would fight sometimes she showed interest in hanging out soon, she asked me if I could bring her food once and immediately said never mind she doesn’t want to see me. She talked a lot about mistakes I made in our relationship. Last time we talked I told Her she needs to be clear because she keeps being all over the place and that I want to talk about us or she needs to block me on her phone and all social media. She blocked me, She had blocked me before and would unblock me After a few days. Was it a bad idea to tell Her to block me? Will she want to talk eventually?
  24. So I started dating someone new. I met him at his seminar he was hosting and from there he found me on social media and has been trying to take me out since. He’s a man of status and people know him as this successful millionaire so I’m sure he’s used to getting the girl, but for me to know that I knew he would’ve probably played me so I kept ignoring him. Well, he persisted for a long time and still kept trying to take me out and I finally came even after canceling on our first date and we hit it off the first night and been seeing each other almost everyday and weekend. We get along perfectly, we have the same business mentality, we’re always laughing and I’m always giving him advice. he’s opened up to me about his childhood on how he’s adopted and well the struggles of being adopted growing up. on valentines I remembered the small things about him and got him a very thoughtful gift. & he loved it. He told me nobody cares about him & he has never in his life received a thoughtful gift like this and told me he felt appreciated and appreciated me so much more. Because everyone is always using him it was hard to think people were still genuine. (As he says) and growing up he never received gifts because for him being adopted he was treated as a guest, not family. Then after he took me on a date and after we just sat outside the movie theatre bench and talked a lot more and he told me situations where he wanted to seek revenge on someone who betrayed him & I made him see things from another perspective to where he understood a place he’s at shouldn’t stoop low to his enemies. But to charge it to the game and move on gracefully. Some of these enemies were even men who wanted to take me out but with the same mentality I never gave it a chance but for this guy. He knew that and he felt even more proud to have me. One of the things he told me after was.. you know you’re perfect for me. You’re a woman and you don’t even have to say anything for anyone to see that. I make him see things clearly instead of one sided and see the good in things and that’s what he liked. If he was busy with something I always told him I understood and to take care what he needed. Basically made it to believe I was this perfect partner for him. He‘s told me He knew I would be a great mom when we were having dinner. Anyway, He’s leaving to his hometown today and wanted to fly me out to meet his family and support him for a tournament training he had coming up next month. He kept telling me he really wanted me to be there and I agreed. Well. Then this Sunday comes and I was out with my friends and got really drunk. the whole day I said I was going to see him after.. I kept saying I was on the way and 3am comes he’s been waiting on me and I never came because well I ended up sobering up and taking care of my friends and didn’t feel like meeting up anymore. He got pissed and told me he was never going to respond to me again for wasting his time... blocked me on all social media but my number. I let it cool off & I texted him today saying I was sorry and I missed him and if we could move pass this and let me make up for it and that I wanted to still support him for his tournament. No reply and kinda don’t know what to do. But I know I messed up and want him back. Do I just leave it alone and assume he’ll come around eventually.
  25. Before I begin, I know I'm a terrible person and I do not condone any of what I did. A few weeks back I was away on business, while away I met a new colleague, we connected really quickly and seemed to have a lot in common. The days were long so of an evening it was a relief to have a drink. Most of our other colleagues went off to bed early most nights, leaving him and I left until last orders at the bar. One night, he invited me back to his room to "raid the mini bar" as we hadn't finished drinking yet. I had assumed this was all innocent, we are complete opposites of eachother, he's long haired, tattoed, heavy metal lover, and I am a petite, blonde who loves star wars and crocheting. Anyway, after drinking another bottle of wine, he kissed me. I told him it was a terrible thing to do as we both were in relationships, I left the room and the next day we didn't discuss what happened. On our final night away, we resorted to the normal ritual of drinking the day away, this time more of our colleagues stayed out to drink. This is when I noticed him look across at me and gesture for me to come to bed. I stupidly did. I cant say I regret it, it was exciting and wild and we stayed up all night talking about everything, it sounds incredibly cliche but I have never connected with someone so quickly and had such intense feelings. He asked if we could put it all behind us and never discuss it with anyone. I agreed. After arriving home, I had been having doubts about my current relationship for months and this kind of iced the cake that I wasn't happy anymore. I ended things, I was honest about my reasons why and for what had happened while I was away. Back in work, things escalated. He told me how be felt so strongly towards me, how he couldn't go home and look at his partner. I discouraged his behaviour until he'd made some sort of decision about what he wanted. Flash forward, he confessed to his partner what happened and how he is in love with me, but he wants to stick at there relationship and try and make it work? Now, that's his choice and I am in no position to dispute it. The problem is that she's forced him to block me on all forms of social media, although we see eachother every day. He has kept me on Snapchat, in secret and has even admitted to unlocking me on social media to look at pictures of me. Work isn't awkward because i feel like I try to keep some sort of professionalism between us, but I am not convinced at his behaviour. The tension between us is so strong and I stay away from him as best as I can. I don't know what to do? I am not convinced he's made the best decision for himself and I don't want to be influencing him otherwise? I feel I've been used more than anything, although he disagrees when I try to address it? How does it sound to an outsider? I feel like I'm going crazy!
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