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  1. Since more than 1 week, my friend is really mad at me and don’t want to talk to me for now. I did a lot of wrong thing, I was too attached to her….I said things about other people that I shouldn’t tell, my behavior towards her but also towards my other friends chocked her. I am not a good person… she did a lot of things for me…and I didn’t know how to say her thank you. I love her a lot and she feels like I love her TOO much. It’s really recent, I wrote a lot of letter drafts that I will give her in a future but I don’t know when. It’s now too recent to give her and come to talk to her. I feel so miserable and guilty, because it’s my fault. I hate my uncontrollable feelings and words ruining everything like it often did. I feel bad because I hurt her and the others and I maybe lost one of my dearest friend. we spent good moments together….Why should I do? I feel so bad…see her distant and angry makes me sad…and mad at me. should I wait to ask her to maybe chat but out of school, just the two of us? How much time it will takes for her to calm down…She doesn’t hate me actually, she is just mad and angry…. I feel like she is hesitant talking to me sometimes, she stares at me or walk by me when she thinks I don’t see her and then leave after hesitated a moment. Maybe she is sad and lost too? Maybe she feels like she was too rude…I don’t know… i know she loves me, or used to..she talked to me like a sister…I ruined everything…I try to becoming a better person now…but it’s hard. any advices ?
  2. My girlfriend and I have been together now for a little over 2 years. I can honestly say we have only really argued like 3 times in the past 2 years. Lately her best friend broke up with her b/f whom she had dated for about the same length as us. Well her friend started talking about how much fun it is being single again and my g/f wants to take a brek because of this. This is not the first time either, she also has another friend that cannot do much more than mess around with guys that has also tried persuaying her to "take a break" from me. How can I convince my g/f that its not a great idea? Also she seems to have a problem not knowing if other guys find her attractive, why this matters, i dont know, but I tell her all the time she is beautiful.
  3. I was having a conversation with a friend the other day and I told her about my general life and the rules that I've implemented, she inturn said that I am only building walls. She said "I think my rules will protect me but they are just the excuse to hide and shut out the rest of the world." Do I not have the right to protect myself? And is it not my right to chose the kind persons I want to have relationships with? How I see it, is I have a few standards and they have to be met, not all of them but most and my rules just narrow down my search. I honestly dont think I am shutting anyone out just the people to whom the rules apply. I do believe that there will be situations where my rules should be discarded but until then, they my life is governed by them. My friend argued that my soul mate may fall short by my standards or will I may never find anyone at all, to which I replied "I dont believe in one mate but a soul mate network. Instead of having just one perfect mate for you, there are many personalities that suit your character." If you think you've found your soul mate I'm happy for you but I've met at least four persons I could call soul mates and I'm not with any today. I just want to know, do anyone think its wrong to set a few guide lines about what you desire, do you believe its a way of masking my pain from the past?
  4. After 10 years of marriage, we split. We had an agruement over my daughter's boyfriend using the computer. Things got out of hand my husband pushed my daughter, I slapped him, her boyfriend told him to stop pushing the women, my husband pushed me, my daughter's boyfriend tackled him, my husband tried to get a knife, and I ran out with the kids and stayed in a hotel with them for 2 days before returning to the house. After this, my husband says that sooner or later he would move in with a women because life is to hard living by yourself. It turns out that he cann't rent an efficiency b/c he doesn't have the money to do so, and he told me he is renting with a guy and his sister, after much fighting I get him to admit that he was seeing this women for appx 4 months now. He said they started hot and heavy, she ended the relationship b/c he was married, and he said he kept calling her. Although I want to believe what he says, I know I cann't and I know he is lying. He said he finds peace in that house and that there is no fighting. He says he loves me but is afraid to move back in to have the fight begin again, to have me mistrust him and then have to move back out. He comes to the house to see my other daughter and some of the times he hugs me and keeps saying that this relationship he has is not going to last. The last time he was over, he was hugging and kissing me and if I didn't stop it, it would of progressed to much worse. He says that he didn't feel that I loved him or cared for him, and that we hardly had sex any more. This is true, but I have found a note in his pockets w/a women's phone on it before. I always felt he was out there looking for someone. One time he was arrested for soliciting oral sex from a prostitute. He would treat me badly and tell me I was fat, ugly and old. I did let my daughter sleep in the bed with me, I guess I needed comfort that I wasn't getting from him. I did ask him to help me wean her from the habit, but he didn't. I got fat, I continued to smoke although I knew it was a turnoff for him. I am trying to make sense of this situation, and outsider who can look in and tell me their thoughts on the situation. I am feeling responsible for the breakup, I am feeling no self-esteem, and I am hurt and cann't think straight. Someone please write to me.
  5. My boyfriend of 18 months and I have been having ongoing problems. He is 23 and I am 24. I moved up to San Francisco about 6 months ago, and hence, do not have many outlets besides my workplace and my boyfriend. Recently, we've been spending too much time together, that we fight over very petty things. We also argue about my need to be near him, and his being suffocated. Although we have both professed our love for one another and are on the same page about being the ONE for each other, the recent strains in our relationship have pushed my boyfriend to ask for space. He says that he no longer feels the spark that he used to when he sees me. Not only does he want more alone time, he just wants us to be friends. Now, he has no intention of dating others because he believes as I do that our relationship is worth fighting for. I can't help but feel rejected and vulnerable, even though I know this is the best thing for our relationship. And the strain is hard on me since I have not yet adapted to my new town. Please give me advice on what to do to save this relationship.
  6. I have been dating someone for the past 5 months. We've been through problems, fights, and everything regarding my past. Time and time again we get out of it. There was a time, 2 weeks after we met, when we weren't talking to each other. I went to a club that night adn slept over a guy's house(im gay and im a guy btw). I slept over "Jack"s place. We didn't do anything and I just needed a place to spend the night cuz the club closes at 3:00 a.m. I told "Kirk" this but, he doesnt believe me somehow he can't seem to let go till he has spoken or talked to Jack himself. I don't know where Jack is cuz he left the town and dont know any contact info on him. I was thinking of doing a "test" dump with kirk to see if he does love me. What do you guys think of this? What should i do? I just need input from different people
  7. my sis is leaving the house right now at 5:17 pm to go rollerblading with friends and guess what dad is making such a big fuss over it, yeah and it is a sunny day too. i soo disagree with my dad my sis is 20 yrs old i am 23. my dad wants my sis to stay at at home all day for some reason -hates her to leave the house for some odd reason. even if we leave the house he makes a big fuss- this is the summer times too-not school days where on sat and sun we have to stay at home all day too . yea lol this is the truth. don't laugh . we are asian too-chinese if it means anything lol. parents are just so damn strict. the don';t like her to leave the house same with me and i am a guy too. the thing they think is that going outside-life is tough -parnoid of how rapes of women, ppl gettin beat up guys and gals-swarmings, dad just said don't leave the house-"your just asking for trouble". -meaning some ppl might want to fight with u, gangs..... well bad stuff u hear from the media and news of young ppl. well till i move out its going be like this , maybe that why i don;t want to tell my gf or date that i have a certain time table-parents are just so damn strict of leaving the house. if i do maybe i can only see her in the afternoon only. evenings and nights are out of the questions
  8. Hey my names Tom and I've been seeing a girl for about a year so far. We met at my first job and I asked her to "tell your grandma, I said hi". After that we began to talk and before you know it we were unseperable. As the month's began to roll by things only got better, we both had dreams and had a plan laid for life. We also agreed that we would stay together when she went of to College. I was going to enlist into the Army and get a place close to her campus apon completion of basic tranning. But soon she began hanging out w/ her friends more and I would get jelous. Only because she would blow me off so she could go out... Then the fighting started.... Soon after she decided she needed a break. Then we moved on to the whole on-a-break thing. But we talked more and I began to express interest in her once more only to find out she doesnt feel the love she used to! Her claims for our break up are as follows: we fought to much, she needed a break, she doesnt want a boyfriend, she "just wants to have fun" (dating but not getting serious), and she say's she too busy for the stress a b/f brings (yet she'll still hang out with her g/f's as much as WE used to in the first months. She still tells me she loves me, and I still have a chance. But how is this possible??? Please help.. I've attempted suicide twice and I really dont wanna finally push the button! I just want her back! Please tell me whats going on before it's too late.... Thank you very much. Much Love -Tom-
  9. we had to write a random autobiography in any format for honors english at school. i chose to do mine in the form of a poem that rhymes, fun i know. its kinda very mellow though cuz i didnt wanna get referred to the councilor. some of it is total BS... but yeah tell me what u think before i turn it in. I came along in early spring I was born with small and fragile wings I had hair as black as night And the doctors laughed, for I put up much of a fight They called me little witch Because I made all the doctors twitch For as much as I was crying You'd think that I was dying As I grew older And November Nights grew colder I started to find my own way And was loved more each day Even after falling and bruising my knees up I was clumsy so I always had a plastic cup I was slowly taught how to fly My parents made me think I could touch the sky When six years had passed I remember my birthday party like it was my last We were moving so the house was bare All of my friends and neighbors were there We had to move from Germany to the US My mom was full of unwanted stress I was so excited Though I was never really invited I liked living here at first But then it plunged for the worst I was made fun of in school And I was not very cool I had an accent until about grade four Then I would run out of the school door I had some friends at this time And life seemed just fine I have always really liked to write Some people say that that's not quite right I also like to read And in my heart is little greed I like to help people out I hate it when people pout I do not like to see you frown And I am deathly afraid of clowns Even though I am now fifteen My mom says sometimes I act like "the queen" I am still afraid of the dark And I'm slowly learning how to park Arachnids make me squirm This fear has been long-term I also really don't like roaches I have had many bad softball coaches And As I sit here chewing gum Looking at the short nail on my thumb I think how should probably stop biting my nails Or at least paint them if all else fails I'm talking to Gina And I'm thinking about my friend Cristina Who lives in Florida, so far away I wish I could hug my friends and tell them everything will be okay I try to always be here for them when they need me I tell them life isn't always as portrayed on TV I love to get hugs And I don't do drugs I play softball for fun I train even before the season has begun I didn't make the team last year And my life was full of tears Sometimes the world seems black Just waiting for the bad guys to attack Some days I just curl up and cry And I feel like I want to die But then I take out a pen and write About my mom and I's fight It makes me feel just enough to feel better And my stress gets out with each letter I hope to grow up And adopt my own pup I wanna go to college And stuff my brain full of knowledge I want to help others out for the rest of my life To take away other's blades and knives Just to tell them everything will be fine And there is no reason to quit life and resign Though sometimes the knife feels like it is digging deeper Plunging into my skin as I get weaker I know everything will be all right As long as I put up a good fight Goodnight I say to you one last time You don't have to cry or whine As I close up this story of my life I hope we can come to a universal strife
  10. I don't want to spend a long time on a back story, as details get important, i will supply them. I love my boyfriend very much, and we live together. Our lives are pretty knit together. It is an unspoken understanding that we want to spend the rest of our life together. (we don't want to get ahead of ourselves, so we don't take our talk to that level yet.) We have begun to fight all the time. I don't know what it is, but I know he thinks that it is me, and that I am unreasonable. He either doesn't believe we have relationship problems, or he blames me for them, saying I am unreasonable, and that I am self destructive in our relationship. He does things that hurt my feelings all the time, then expects a simple "i'm sorry" to fix everything. when it doesn't, he gets very angry and accuses me of wanting to make things worse. We recently moved in with mutual friends (another couple). They never fight, and it made me realize how much we DO fight. My roommates know us both, and like us both, but have been giving me subtle hints that he is passivly controlling and that they think he is unreasonable. I'm not very happy in this relationship, but I'm so attached, I don't know if I have the strength to break up with him. It would completely uproot my life, and I'm scared to death of that. I really want to work at it, and he has brought up counseling in the past. I just dont know when you should call it quits. When do you know that It is just not going to work out, and to just save yourself the heartache? I know he isn't going to break up with me for the same reasons i won't wit him. I am the first to be worried about my sisters bad relationships, and I think I am missing the signs that I am wasting my time trying to love someone who isn't healthy. Breaking up should be the last resort, what options should I excersise to know if I have tried everything?
  11. I have been in a relationship for 6-years & we live together. (I am 30) I have been miserable now for 5 years. I don't feel like the relationship is working. She loves me, but I just don't have those same feelings. I have not touched her (meaning sex, kissing) in 5 years. (She wants to have sex but I dont) I fight with her over insignificant things. I have been fantisizing about other woman (noone inparticular, just ones I make up in my head). I just feel like she is controlling. I have no friends. I used to have friends, but they are all gone. I am living a miserable existence. I tell her I need some gay friends & losing weight, but she gets jealous & mad. Saying that I am going to meet someone else & leave her when I lose weight, etc. If I am on the phone or receive a phone call she "jokes" that I am talking to my gf. I have no life. I can't go anywhere alone without her being with me. We don't go out b/c it is a miserable experience. If I talk to other people at a bar (women) she gets upset & starts fighting with me. When I take a day off from work she does to. Isnt it enough that we ar together 24 hrs a day 7 days a week. I need some free time. I want to see other people. I want to know what it is like to be in love. I can't take it anymore. My self-esteem is so low. I am afraid of leaving her. Afraid that I won't meet anyone else. Afraid that I will be alone. I feel old. I feel ugly. I have put on so much weight b/c I am depressed all of the time. I am not blaming her for these issues. She is a great person. I love her like I would love my sister & that is all. I just dont want to be intimate with her b/c I am unattracted to her. I am afraid to break it off. Thinking that I am making a huge mistake. I am posting here b/c I have noone to talk to about this. No friends. My family doesnt know I am gay.
  12. In the hot day of the desert sun the horses and cows come here to drink for fun i watch in fascination and realization the quench for there thirst they drink from the steaming trouph that is soaking water to quench their mouth but when the water runs out the snakes encroach on the cows approach the answers diaspear and the steer cant protect the weary the cows stand by and watch the fight ' the silence wraps aruond their knecks and without out fret takes their last breathe the water is gone.. the water is gone.. and the devil has spawn upon us "This poem has a lot to do with life, water symbolizing the answers in life, when the answers are gone...the devil will slowly take out the innocent ones and kill us..slowly..
  13. my name is spencer, i live in ohio with my moms side of the family and my dads side lives in michigan in the detroit area, well one summer i went up there and i ran away when it was time to come back to ohio.. when i ran i met this girl named christina, i asked her if i could hide in her house becuz the police were looking for me becuz i got into a fight and needed a place 2 stay for a few hours until the left the area, well i got her number and we ended up hooking up a few weeks later then we broke up and i got caught and locked up... then i ran back up to michigan in feb of 04 and i got caught in march. i did 10 months in juvenile prison and i've been out about 2 months now.. she cheated on me while i was locked up but i forgave her becuz i really love her, now me and her constantly argue about alot of stupid stuff and its alot for me to handle.. its a long distance relationship and i havent seen her in a long time and the fighting is making it hard for me, i have permission to leave state to see her but i dont have a car and im not allowed to take a bus, he parents wont allow her to even speak to me so she has to sneak and talk to me plus she dosent have a phone, it is so hard to deal with all this but i dont want to end out relationship becuz we have been through so much, yesterday i told her i couldent continue but i want to i just dont know what to say to her anymore.. everything i say is wrong and i just need some advise.. if u can help me, it would really make a differince _________________ Spencer
  14. Alright..This is really hard for me, but i am trying to break up with my boyfriend of 19 months. For a really long time now we fight constantly, to the point where i don't even want to be around him anymore, because I know sooner or later it will turn into an argument. Not just a little argument, it has got physical at times, and then the emotional abuse comes out, and by the time we both calm down, i feel like i have lost my mind. I am not going to tell you that I probably didn't have anything to do with the arguments, but the thing with my boyfriend is, is that he is extremely controling, to the point where he hates my family, my best friend and every other support system i have. He is overly critical of all of my friends and even my family. I feel at times he wishes he could get me away from them, so he can have me all to himself, and just control everything i do. The problem i am having now is, that the week after Christmas we broke up because he made a comment to my grandmother, about how she baby's me and that im going to turn out just as screwed up as my mother, now not only did he hurt my grandmother, he hurt me too. I didn't see him for that week, we had plans for new years and i didn't go with him, and then i finally broke down and saw him (which was very stupid). I wanted to try it again, even though there are sooo many RED FLAG on why i should stay away, i just couldn't. The first day we hung out it was wonderful, but as the time went on, i found him doing the same things he was doing before, and even though i wanted to come back with an open mind, he sucked me back in and we went right back to fighting like crazy, to the point where i felt like i was losing my mind. He yet hasn't apologized about the comment he made about my mother, in fact he blames it on my grandmother, because he says,"she's always sticking her nose into our business." Keep in mind he was screaming at me in her driveway in the middle of town and all she told him was to lower his voice. I know i need to leave, and its so easy to say, that this time i really am going to do it, and i really want to because for the last 19 months its been the same thing. and the other day he told me that i don't even do anything for this relationship. However, he wants to get an apartment together, we fight like cats and dogs yet he wants to live together, which is something i don't really understand. But he justifies it by saying i think it will help us, and its something we really need. I haven't been able to commit to it because i know its not what i want. I am happy where I am right now, and I have a lot of other things to focus on right now than moving in with him. A few months ago my father was in a really bad 4-wheeling accident, and he was in a coma for 3 weeks and in the trauma unit of the hospital, he is better, but living in a nursing home now with a serious brain injury. I am trying to go to school, work, look after my father ( im the only child my parents are divorced and i have to take care of all his bills and whatnot) plus try to have a life for myself. And he just doesn't get that, he hasn't been compassionate or even empathetic about the whole situation since it happened, in fact there are many times when i tried to have a conversation with him about it, and he just tells me i shouldn't cry, i shouldn't be angry i should just get over it because its my reality, which is true but sometimes you want your "partner" to just be there for a shoulder to cry on (am I wrong?) I feel that i have just completely lost myself throughout this whole relationship, he just takes everything he can get from me, and says well i see other people walk all over you, and sometimes i just figure she lets other people do it, so i might as well do it too. I feel like such a fool, i used to watch talk shows about girls that had boyfriends like this, and would always think they are so stupid why don't they just leave, but now that i am one i realize that its just not that easy. And part of me thinks that the only reason i really did go back was because he was my comfort zone, ironically i don't even feel comfortable around him. Its alright when i am angry, but then the sadness sets in and the guilt and i feel like i should go back, because he really doesn't have anyone. I mean he could because everyone (his whole family and even mine) have tried to help him get on his feet (recovering drug addict/alcoholic) but he just takes from everyone until they have nothing left to give, and then he just tells them to F off. I don't know i just really wanted to share my feelings right now, and any advice would be wonderful, i just need a way to just stay away for real this time, because i have been given so many chances and i don't want to do it anymore, i love him but i just can't be with him anymore, and it hurts so bad to say that, but he is impossible to be with when everytime i turn around he hurts me. Thanks.....
  15. I recently broke up w/ my GF of 6 months for reasons that I no longer wanted to put up with the relationship anymore. We both failed to live up to each other's expectations and only ended up fighting alot. She was the kind of person that was very volatile and could go 180 on subjects. It got to the point where I said enough was enough. We goto the same school and live laughably close to each other but barely spent any time with each other. Shes 17 but has a very protective mother, and I feel as though she is very restricted in her freedoms (ie. going out past dark, practically anything at times). She is very stubborn and emotional to the point its ridiculous. There were times where we would go weeks w/o spending anytime with each other alone, and when we did, we would end up fighting because someone would be frustrated. School and work basically messes alot of things up too due to the bad timing... she is taking SATs and pressured to do well. I also think she is very immature the way she spends her money thoughtlessly, but then what can you expect out of an almost legal adult. The day I finally decided to break up with her, she was reluctant to even meet until I forced her. Afterwards I didn't cry much since I expected it. The next few days I saw her in the halls but didn't say much, we did make eye contact a few times. 4 days later however I broke no contact by messaging her for some unknown reason because I was sick, miserable and loaded up on painkillers and wanted some sort of comfort. She agreed to be "friends" but I sensed there was something more because she kept saying things like "Why don't you think we can get back together?". The next few days she started to call me again, something she stopped doing awhile ago. Then a day after she came over and we had sex. Our relationship was somewhat sexual but we only did it a few times a month due to the lack of time she had. She was very happy afterwards, I've never seen her that happy my entire life. I still believe it was just one of her mood swings because I broke up with her and now she sees it as an opportunity to come crawling back. She kept saying we should get back together and that it will work. I said I was still confused and needed time to think and we should stay friends for the time being. Now I don't have much hope for getting back together as my feelings for her have declined since our actual beginning. I don't want to jump back into a relationship where nothing has changed and is just a repeat of the misunderstandings and frustration. Timing seemed to be off during the entire relationship, where almost all of our plans would fall apart. There were points where she doesn't show any respect for the relationship. She believes there is no sacrifice involved in a relationship while I completely disagree. I could never talk about anything serious with her without getting into a fight because of the way she is. I don't want to be taken for granted anymore, I got sick of waiting for her when she just cancels on me, she is too fickle and indecisive. I don't think I'm going to get back together until I get a straight answer out of her, which was near impossible in the past and i doubt she'll be willing to change. I've basically lost most of my hope thus the reason i broke it off to begin with. I know these kind of high school relationships won't last once she goes to college the story just ends there. My gut feeling right now is to stay apart and not get back together but I feel so confused at times. I know if I don't put a stop to it soon it is only going to be a repeat of the pain and anguish. Or I could be a real assh0le (you know what I mean).
  16. I have been with my boyfriend, Chris, for 1 year 4 months and a week now. We love each other VERY much, but we always fight over little and stupid stuff. And it breaks my heart EVERY time. Chris always thinks I'm flirting with other people and that i like other people and i tell him over and over again that I don't but I dunno he jsut doesn't get it. I Love him more than anything and I NEVER want to lose him. He knows that too. The other day we were fighting over something about how he thinks I flirt with this kid named Bryan. And he like grabbed my throate and I don't really remember what happened. I know he didn't hit me or anything. He just said something and blah blah blah, just being an a**hole like he's been being lately. He's like almost two-faced. Like one day he'll be the nicest guy in the whole world and we just hold each other for hours and stuff like that. And the like the next day or whatever he's Mr. A**hole. I don't understand!!! (guys i need you to tell me why men do this!) I have thought about breaking up with him, but then I don't. I think I'm afraid that I'll be alone forever. I dont want to break up with Chris because I love him more than anything, but then again he can be such a butthead sometimes. I think I just need to hear someone else's opinion. Please help me! This situaution makes me go crazy sometimes to where I think I'm going to do something bad.
  17. This is really a question for the ladies (though guys views are always welcome). I've read in a couple of articles that some people consider that the initial smile/wink/signal a women will give a man in order to encourage him to approach is the 'first move'. I also know a few women who hold this view. I find that an interesting notion. Do you women, when in a bar or other social setting, and you see a man you like the look of and give him some sort of signal, consider that you have 'made the first move'? My argument would be that that is not the first move, but is an invitation for the man to make the first move. After all, we give off signals all the time, but they can often be ambiguous and subtle, and it's really only on approaching and talking to someone that the our intention becomes 100% clear, and with that clarification comes the possibility of rejection. Before that moment there is only hinting and suggestion, thereforeeee no risk and no chance of rejection. I have smiled at lots of people when out, but would never consider that I had 'made the first move'. What do people think? I'd like to hear some counter arguments to see things from others people's perspectives, or do you agree with me?
  18. I see you standing there with a blank look on your face, Like all the thing's we did together you just try to erase. I am thinking to myself on why I am still so alone, That when I walk around this house it is a empty home. I try to justify everything that you did and said to me, All the times we argued still nothing made you see. I feel deep within my heart love for you that wont go away, It is way down deep inside of me and that is where it will stay. Do you think that it is right that we are starting to talk again, I hope that everything will be ok and not like way back then. I know that they say forgive and forget things that happen to you, I just dont want to ever again go through what I went through. But still something makes me think about you each and everyday, Makes me feel like you never left me that you never went away. So mabe this is right or mabe I will find out it's wrong, But I always knew that my love for you was strong. So if I get heart broken again or you even hurt me, I will just know this time it was a mistake and once again fly free.
  19. This has been an interesting week-end to say the least..... I recently posted my story in the "Ex Girlfriend/Boyfriend Forum". link removed "Ex cheated on and left me for out her league friend". I hope I acted in the right way. I went to meet my friends at the Pub/Nightclub on Friday night that we usually attend. Upon pulling in the parking lot, I noticed a Man and Woman about to cross in front of me so I waited to let them. Well they slowly did. Low and Behold it was my Ex and the guy she cheated on and left me for. They took about 15+ seconds to cross in front. While crossing she looked at me then looked at him and laughed. So I blew the horn...Pissed her off (figured I'd get my laugh). They left and so I went inside and met my friends. Well 20 minutes later, Her, her boyfriend and all their Friends from work walked in. They walked past my friends and I with their noses in the air and stood about 10 feet away and stared at me and were talking laughing. My Ex and her new man came and went 3 more times in 2 hours and every time, they pretty much brushed me when they walked by yet looked away, her not once saying "Hi". I was mad at first but decided I was there for a good time. The last time they left, I said to my friends while laughing "Thank You Lord". Her friends stayed and never got more then 10-15 feet from My friends and I. As the night went on, I started talking to a nice, pretty girl and was getting to know her. About 30 minutes in- my Ex's girlfriends started asking if I had a couple cigarettes and a lighter. Being nice I gave them and they walked away. About an hour into the conversation with my new prospective girl, one of my ex's friends approached me again, and started "interigating me". She asked if I knew who she was. I acted like I never saw her before. She told me who she was and asked how I was doing (Guess I was supposed to be depressed/mad-I dunno). I told her this is the best I've felt in 4 years. That there are a lot of nice girls out tonight. She went on talking about how my Ex never meant to hurt me and still thinks the world of me, yet she is extremely happy with her new man. I told her great, better him that has to deal with her then me. She asked a thousand questions from If and who I was dating, If I liked the girl, to how long I've been attending this bar to what I thought of my ex…I was determined to stay in a very good mood and basically told her that I tried to be my Ex's friend but my ex never did her part. I told her I was disappointed how the ex cheated on and left me and waited till X-MAS to tell the truth. I told her I heard my ex ran her mouth about me and that all I now want is my stuff back. I told her I was dating a nice girl off and on and that I love how my life is going. Told her I was going after my dreams. She kept repeating "your ex still thinks the world of you and never said a bad thing about you, she hasn't talked to you because she is trying to move on-she's extremely happy". I told her that was funny she only talks nice of me, because the last time I saw her family, they snubbed me like I was garbage. She didn't say much to that and went back to her group. I had a good time regrouping with my prospective girl and ignored them the rest of the night, yet I could feel their beady eyes burning a hole though my back. Nothing happened with the prospective girl, I simply enjoyed talking to her and I expressed how I hoped to see her next weekend. I left at closing time. So, I went to the same bar again (my hang out) last night and met my friend. We were there for about 20 minutes when my Ex's new B/F and about 6 of his friends walked in. It has been 3 months since I have seen my Ex and the 2nd time in my life to see him so that is either ironic or planned. They looked at me and sat about 15 feet away and kept looking my way. I decided to ignore them and continued talking and laughing to the cute little girl sitting next to me. The night went on and my friend eventually left. Showing I wasn't scared or bothered with them, I stayed about 30 minutes longer and walked out. When I got in my truck, they just "happened" to walk out of the bar and were parked 3 spaces from me. They were looking at me and laughing. Being the better person, I left and unintentionally spun snow their way. The thing is that my ex knows that I am strong and quick. She has witnessed me break many a bar fight up. She knows that I will not fight unless it is in defense of someone (woman mostly) needing help. Her new man is a feminine man to put it "nice". I think he knew I was going to be there and brought his back up and was going to try something last night. To be honest my Ex is not worth either my time or energy after dealing with 3 months of lies. I waited for her friendship and have moved on and now she all of a sudden pops back in. After seeing what she cheated on and left me for, I now laugh. Good Riddence. So what do you think of my Ex's friends questioning me and staring at me. What do you think about her new B/F showing up at the bar the next night? Did I tell her friend the right things?
  20. My ex confronted me today, just as I was about to confront him. I told him that I wanted to meet up in person to talk to him about something. He told me that he didn't think we should see eachother in person for the next two weeks. Here, I'll just post the convo ... It'll be easier to understand that way: Him: I think it'd be best if we nixed the in person talk, but don't mind talking on the phone or internet about whatever it is you need to talk to me about Me: mind telling me why you think it'd be best if we nixed the in person talk? Him: because i don't wanna talk to you in person or be with you in person Him: ...right now Him: you can't go from being as close as we were to being friends like that and as long as we're still seeing each other, its not going to make it any better. i'm not saying that i won't be your friend or that i won't be there for you still, but i think it's for the best if we distanced ourselves right now and let time play its part in this. Him: Trying to get over you isn't something thta's gonna come lickey-split, and as long as I keep seeing you, it's like a crack wh*re getting just a little more. It'll keep it in your system an dyou'll never be able to get over it Him : soooo Him: I'm cutting the crack, and stopping my wh*re actions ! Me: ..... I thought you were over me Him: negative Me: *throws hands up in air* Him: I thought that would be kinda obvious due to our last encounters Me: no, not really Me: I thought you just wanted some action Me: honestly Me that's all it was to me .... Me: hence why i didn't have any problems with it Him: welp Him: that sucks Him: but Him: back to topic, no, I wasn't Him: it was a little more than that to me Him: aaaaaaaand Him: I'm not going to keep myself in Limbo worrying and fighting with myself Me: You don't think that your feelings are going to magically change from now to when school starts, do you? Him: i'll tell you in two weeks Incase anyone wonders, the encounters he was talking about ... last few times him and I got together we fooled around. Anyway, my question is ... should I read anything into this besides him just wanting to get away from me?
  21. After 4 months of dealing and healing, I've finally come to the acceptance stage and man does it feel better. There aren't a lot of feel good stories where people accept it's over and just move on. But life does go on. And it becomes good again. I think all of us had hoped at some point or another that we would get back together and that that was the only really good outcome but it's not. After much reflection on why I broke up with my ex and the things that happened afterwards, I realize that it simply wasn't meant to be. Trying to fight it and negotiate with reality to get back the fantasy of what I thought I had were keeping me in a state of denial, confusion and torture. I think we hold on because we're afraid. What will replace all of the pain if I let go? Does that mean that my ex will also let go? Who will make me happy again? Regardless of the outcome, letting go is necessary. Practicing it daily really helps. Especially if you're hard headed like me. It basically means relaxing and letting god take over. Because you aren't in control and god will give you something better next time. It's always happened that way in the past with me so I don't know why I fought it. And honestly, I say this from a place of relative objectivity and not spite, there is much better than what I had the last time. I was too blinded by addiction to see it. Maybe a lot of us are just addicted to a fantasy. Me, I plan to run as fast as I can out of this tunnel. It's all downhill from here and I hope to see you there. Belle
  22. hey people.i have been a little troubled today and im looking for a few opinions. yesterday,i went to a BBQ with some friends and had a good time,especially with the water fight.anyway,one of my friends said she had a little get-together at her house a few days previous but i wasnt even told about it.i felt a bit left out but she did admit that she hadnt told many people so im not sure if she didnt tell many or she just forgot me. also,these mates are mostly girls.its a problem as they do not go to my school(we have separate girls and boys schools)she i dnt get to hang out with them very much.i hadnnt seen many of them in over a month although i do speak to them online. as a result,i often go a little silent when i do hang out with them. also,i went to another party that night.i didnt know many people at the party but i think that i did well and spoke to many of them quite confidently.but i still feel a bit depressed this morning.there was a lot of kissing at the party and i feel left out again as i dont have a gf.to be honest,im getting very frustrated at the lack of any girls my type coming along. so as i said,im feeling down today.could that be the alcohol(i did drink a lot over the course of the day)and hangover?or maybe some of the reasons above? any help thanks.
  23. can you not see that i am in pain? are my screams to you all in vein? do you not see what i do or notice the harm? must i break down and cry, or wear it on my arm? is it beyond what words can explain? is it more that you want to hear? are you going to let me fall? do you ignore this out of fear? scattered stained razorblades lay on my bed and yet you say nothing you watched me as i bled ive even told you in spoken word the part about suicide and self harm must have gone unheard should i quit and say goodbye? or keep trying?i will carry on my own i will fight this i will break the habit and kill the pain all alone. oppinions?very very emotional when i wrote this. any feedback welcome -sTiTcHeS
  24. found out my ex was seeing someone at the end of our 5 yr relationship, they are now together. Now the problem is I was doing so well to get over it I am now three months down the line have a really good life and can see that I am better off without him. BUT when we broke up he promised there was no one else 'he wouldn't do that to me' he also said he wanted to be single. Well in the last couple of weeks, I keep bumping into friends of ours/his (I haven't changed were I am going I think they have) they keep dripping small amounts of info out to me. I don't know what is true or not but I know it is bringing me down in a big way, I have asked them not to tell me but when you have had a few drinks you cant help it. I have lost all respect for him and although I don't feel upset about him being with her (I have seen them together and was even polite enough to go over and ask how they both are) I have a lot of unanswered questions which keep going round in my head. I would like to give him a call not to lecture or discuss us, but just to ask him to tell his friends to leave me alone and confirm what is true. Is this a bad idea? I have argued both sides with myself. If I see him, how do I know its the truth but on the other hand he has nothing to gain by lying anymore. I really want to just forget but I cant, I know it is none of my business what he does anymore. I would just like to know why it ended to give me full closure. Any advise is greatly appreciated!!!
  25. Okay, so I was dating a girl for 5+ years. We broke up about 2 months ago. Generally, she said that if you wanted to get back together with me, we need to be friends first. We have to start somewhere. She said she didn't love me anymore. Basically I drove her away by spending less time with her over that time, but I think that had a lot more to do with my insecurity. We broke up about a year ago, saying we would stop talking to each other for a while to see how things would go. The day after this agreement was to be implemented, she called me and made plans with me for that night. She said her reason was that she was scared to lose me. Well, about 2 months ago we broke up again. This time we remained in contact, went through all the inevitable fighting. I recently wrote her a letter saying that if she didn't want me to hold her back, we needed to say goodbye. I told her I could not be friends with her, I would never be able to get over her if this occurred. I told her that after this week, Saturday to be precise, I would let her go. August 14th, our "5 1/2 year anniversary". I am taking her out for a nice dinner, at which point I plan on giving her a note saying good bye. But the other day we were talking and she said she wanted to go somewhere with me in late September. I told her how since she obviously has already read what I said, and she said she thought we would still see each other once in a while. Well, we have had a good week with no fighting, but I do need to say goodbye for now to try and move on. I have bought her 2 tickets to see a musical in the city on September 26. I basically will tell her to take whomever she wants with her. I am kind of hoping she will ask me, but at the same time I'm not so sure I should go, even though I will probably be disappointing her. Truth is, I really think she does love me. I think she is moreso not telling me because she is scared I will still "ignore her", and that she feels vulnerable to tell me. She told me that she misses me when she doesn't see me, so I thought maybe if she didn't see me at all she will realize that she has lost me. In any event, I told her if she wanted to talk about it, she has to do so before Saturday, because I want Saturday to just be her and I and no issues. I am basically just waiting now to see what she says. I am torn right now between wanting to disappear from her life, or giving her exactly what she wants. Since the break-up, we have physically hooked up 3 times, twice in one night. She always gives me a big hug goodbye and I really think things have been going on the right track, so I plan to tell her that is exaclty how I want to leave things. One more question for everyone, I plan on visiting one of my previous ex-girlfriends sometime this month and was just wondering if possibly it would be a good or bad idea to tell her. I thought that maybe if I do tell her, she'll feel jealous. I thought at the same time though that if I tell her she may feel I don't want to be with her anymore, or perhaps that I have let go of the possibility of a reconciliation, something I do want. Any help or opionions would be greatly appreciated. Relationships are so confusing and it is nice to know that in this internet era, we can get help from complete strangers instead of having to get help from people we don't feel comfortable telling about our issues.
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