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  1. Last night I found a picture of a naked woman in my husband's cell. It makes me feel very unappreciated. Actually, it really hurts me a lot. I told him earlier in our relationship how offensive that kind of behavior from a man is to me. It's not like he doesn't know this already! He has a topless photo of me. Yet, he has a photo of some woman he doesn't know. I know that men look at other women, but I think it's crossing the line a bit when they have photos of women when they are in a relationship. We've only been married for 6 months Why is he doing this? I don't know what to do. Desiree'
  2. We were together 12y, married 3, and have a 8 month old. Anywho its been a heck of a saga, but she showed her hand and it was the last straw. Last tuesday I officially had filed for divorce, and im now going through the process. I wont waste time talking about her more, but am trying to figure out my path forward after this 12y saga. What sort of steps should I guy like myself do to re-invent, and re-think who i am going forward and maybe at some point get lucky and meet someone new. Im looking for thoughts and ideas. Thanks
  3. It’s been a number of years since I was here last, and I’m only coming back because way back then I was a mess my last name was aftershock879 if anyone wanted to read back. maybe I can try and help others who were where I was, trying to get back with an ex, it literally consumed me for the longest time. I did actually end up getting back together with her, but it didn’t last and it was me that ended up finishing it with her (I worked with her) it’s probably been over 10 years since that happened. fast forward to now, I’m happily married to my best friend, we have kids and are happy, happier than I’d ever been with my ex. don’t give up hope, I let my ex treat me like crap and pandered to her demands, I lost friends in the process. don’t let them change who you are, you’ll only end up regretting the things you did because of having rose tinted glasses on. listen to your friends and family, they can see what it’s doing to you, I spent hours talking about it to anyone who would listen it was only when my brother pulled me to one side and basically told me straight. They can see your hurt, they are looking in from the outside, when you’re in it you don’t see what they do. it was only after I realised how I’d acted, I was looking for anything that gave me hope, which how I found this site. reading hundreds of threads, people all the same as me, looking for answers, any answers. I read back and I cringe at how I acted but that’s what love does right, it beats the crap out of you, or so I thought. When you find the person you should be with you know, and it’s always unexpected, it will could be your ex. Just make sure you stay true to who you are, never settle. Even recently I’ve had texts off her saying she still loved me and regretted what happened, a long time ago that’s all I thought I ever wanted. Not now, not one part of me even cared, I let go of that a long time ago. We we’re colleagues, and a period I look back not with fondness more of a realisation that I deserved better then and where I am now is where I’m supposed to be, happy, content, looking forward to the future and watching my kids grow. Please don’t give up, there’s always hope. Surround yourself with people who love you, keep busy, go to the gym, go running play Xbox/PlayStation. you’ll feel better for it, trust me. Music always helped me get through rough times a few songs stood out for me. The best deceptions - Dashboard confessional Rootless Tree - Damien Rice Reckless - You me and Six Not sure if this will help anyone, but I hope it just shows that no matter how low you feel there’s always light at the end of the tunnel. Take it easy everyone.
  4. When I was young, my dad said a lot of because of me, he stayed in the marriage with my mom. He wasn't appreciated at all by her. He was not happy with my mum... Could that be called love or is it a cheating? Of course, he was dating with a woman when I was very young and my mother was very angry and they fought a lot on that but in the end, the marriage eventually stayed. I very much stood by my mom, but after many years, my auntie revealed that my mom once brought a man that she held hands with to visit my auntie. I feel my parents are in the end staying together for me, but I feel they both are cheaters.
  5. This is going to seem very bad but its the truth I have a signifant other in my life but I can't help but think about having sex with other women. I do not think about other women as to wanting a relationship with them. It happens to me when I give in to looking at women out in the street, I was doing really good when I would just not even look but lately its out of controll. I am not saying that I would go out there and cheat because I wouldn't like it if it happened to me. I want some advice perhaps from people that are married or have a signifant other in their life. any advice would be appreciated
  6. How much does a marriage depend on sex??? any married people want to help out with this??? ok you want to know the truth why?? There are two girls that really like me... and they both have different things about them that i find attractive... there is one with a very good body and good personality... but then there is the other with not such a good body... but a personality like no other... i dont know... i have a long time before i get married... but i was still just wondering how much marriage depends on sex... Thx for any help...
  7. My ex and I continue to be friends and we email each other frequently though she is "Happilly" married... Often in her emails she will write a sentence and exclude the word "I". Here is an example Me: "Are you going to be online later?" Her: "should be at some point" I often read alot of emails from different people online who omit the word "I". Is she seperating herself from me in an unconscious way? I am just curious to know or hear advice.
  8. Though all the pain of breaking up, though it hasn't been too long (2 weeks ago) i have taken immidate action to try and better myself from this experiance. I have been going to therapy and my therapist reccomended a book that is excelent and you all should read because it will help you understand where your relatinship lacked, went wrong and how to fix future relationships before they turn sour. The book is called "The Seven principles for makeing Marriage work". it applies to not just marriages but relationships in general, it helps you figure out what makes a happy marriage specifically not just concentrating on what makes marriages fall apart. It has made me realize thgat there definatly were some potentialfuture disasters waiting to happen with the way things were going, but we had ALLOT of positives too, In any case i am concidering sending my ex a very to the point email suggesting her pick up the book so she can better understand herself and be better equiped to deal with relationships in the future. I don;t want to try and decipher specifically what worked or didn't work in our relationship and feed it to her but mearly suggest she decide that herselfwhen reading the book, I've learned allot from the book and think you guys should pick it up too, although a warning is that you will experience feelings of disappointment regarding your breakup situation when you read about parts of your former relationship that were solvable,think of it as a way to keep future potential relationships from screwing up. though i admit, part of why i want to suggest the book to my ex is to have her realize that i have made progress to attempt to better my understanding of relationships and would be better equipped should she ever decide to want to try it agian with me(though the opposite could happen,she could thinkwe were just way too different to try agian, even though i don't thinkthats the case). Though i hate to admit it to myself, as badly as she hurt me by leaving i do wish her sucess in life and happiness. Theres also arisk of her desiring to try these techniques on a new partner too. All in all, i'm not sure if i should suggest it to her, or break NC for this in general... Whatare your thoughts on this? Bythe way pickup this book it will probably help you allot,it's by the auther John M. Gottman.
  9. We have been married for 5 years, together for 7. We have a 3year old daughter who is my whole life. My husband loves us both with all his heart. Where the problem lies is I dont love him. I dont really know if I ever loved him. I have always gone from 1 relationship to the next and none ever lasted more than 2 years. When I got to that point with my husband I married him thinking that it was just me not being able to commit to a longer repationship and that the love would come back. It never has even after having my beautiful daughter. Long story short. I dont think I have ever really been in love. I feel lost , empty, scared, selfish, and alone. I dont really have anyone I feel comfortable talking with. I know I have to leave for myself but I cant do it to my husband and daughter. He knows how I feel and for the past 2 weeks has been doing everything to get my love back. He gives me cards and letters that only make me want to leave more because I long to feel that way about someone and have them feel the same. He thinks that I will take my daughter with me if I leave but what he doesn't know is that I couldnt do it to him. That is the only reason I am still with him. I cant bear the thought of being away from my precious little girl. She is here asking me why I am crying. Sorry to ramble I just need a little advice?
  10. hello can anybody help me out. I am a Marine that was stationed in Okinawa for two years. In a prior relationship that i had before i went i met a great girl she told me that she loved me and wanted to be with for ever. She said that she wanted to marry me and have my children. I am in love with this girl so much i cant bear to lose her so i married her in july of 03 the hole time we were married i was away, when i came home she told me that she didnt want to be with me anymore because she has more funwith out me i love her so much i dont want to lose her how do i get her back how do i show her that the way i treated her before is over with that she is all i want to consintrate on that she make me whole any ideas because im tired and i need my companion back
  11. My wife and I have recently separated after 18 years. She was upset when a counselor, who told her after she had called him to talk about me once again, said that she needed to begin to work on her stuff (he suggested sexual counseling with another counselor) as he gave me several books to read and I have done everything he has suggested. She was so mad that she felt that I had persuaded him to be on "my side" (I have always been on OUR side). I know this sounds confusing but let me say where we are now. When we first separated (4 months ago) I became so upset that I couldn't sleep. I began to have a couple of drinks at bedtime. This turned into 4-5. I have since stopped drinking. At first she said that was one of the reasons she wanted to separate. Now that I am not drinking that isn't the reason anymore. BTW, there have been no affairs. She just finished her degree after going back to school. We have had some problems in the sexual area; she saying her sex drive was low. (I am trying to cover a lot of info here). Anyway, I think that I may have been too clingy (she has told me this) and she is VERY independent. I truly want to win her back but the more I tell her I love her the more she seems to pull back. For now I am not calling her or emailing her. I hope all of this makes sense! Thanks for any advice
  12. Let me provide a quick summary: Dated a girl 6+ years, she grew impatient with no ring, I began to neglect her feelings, we grew apart, she asked for some space about 2 months ago. After she took the space, I realized what I had after it was gone...I tried to win her back, but my actions only made her mad. ("Why did I have to break up with you to get what I wanted?" etc.) After 2 months of agony, she began to let me express my feelings for her. I have written her a love poem each day for the past two weeks, we have gone out and seen alot of each other lately (At least compared to the 2 month separation). She still says she loves me, but it seems the tables have turned. All the emotions she had in the past when I neglected her, I have them now. It seems I can't see enough of her, it seems like I'm always the one asking to do stuff, and she is always the one rejecting me "We were together for the past 24 hours". It seems she is interested in me, but not to the extent I am interested in her. I'm ready for marriage now, whereas she was in the past. I'm ready for everything...it seems she is neglecting me now. So, given she just recently allowed me to express myself to her, and the fact we have started going out some, is it too soon to be telling her that I feel like I'm a job to her? I feel her interest in me, but I feel like an obligation to her, like everything is forced, like she only tries when I cry to her or tell her how upset she has made me. Given the circumstances, should I try to suck it up and have fun with her? It seems I am more dependent on her than she on me, and I am getting scared to death anymore to ask her anything b/c I'm afraid of her rejecting me, it seems that is all she does anymore. I want to marry her, and have considered just asking her, I mean there is a chance she would say yes, I am just having a horrible time b/c I love her so much, she loves me, but it just doesn't show. What do I do?
  13. Some of you may be familiar with my story. If not, it does not matter too much... I'm interested in obtaining some feedback from the female members here on an aspect of my situation. One of the things that my ex said to me when she left me was "I don't see us together in future." I attribute this to two things I have said to her during our 2.5 year relationship: 1) "I am never going to get married again." - I left my wife when she cheated on me, and my ex was chasing me at the same time. So I left my wife to be with my ex. Early on (after my marriage ended) I did say a couple of times that I was not going to get married again. Looking back at this now, it was just a typical comment by a guy who had a broken marriage. My trust was shattered, and I reacted with those comments. I am over that now, and would love to get married again one day to the right person. I believe my ex is the right person. 2) "I do not want children, so what are you going to do about it?". This is possibly the dumbest thing I have ever said to my ex. I believe that this is the biggest single cause of our break up. I said this 2-3 months before we actually broke up. I've been thinking long and hard about this one ever since, and I have come to the realisation that I DO want to have children one day. I have realised that I get embarrassed around children, and do not know what to do around them. I have not had much experience, being an only child myself. My ex even admitted being the same, but she got over it like I will. I do not want to grow old without any of my own children in my life. Although I need to work on this a little more myself, I am truly honest that I want children. I told my ex these things when she broke up with me, but of course it looked like an immediate concession trying to manipulate her back to me. Now that I have had a lot more time to consider marriage and children in my life (we've been separated for 9 weeks now), I know what I want. But how do I effectively relay this to her? She is moving to another city very shortly (I'll be moving there in a few months too [work]). I have put together a letter to her which explains my thoughts about marriage and children, and want to send this to her when she moves to the new city. Is this the best approach? I still think it is too soon to sit down with her to explain this, so don't see that as an option. But I still want to get the message accross to her before she moves on too far and it becomes too late. I'm interested in the opinions of the female members here. How would you feel if you receive a letter explaining this? If you'd like to read a copy of the letter, please PM me and I'll send it to you. Feedback would really be appreciated. Thanks for the time to read this.
  14. I don't know if I am just being paranoid and completely overanalizing the situation or if I have a legitimate reason to be scared, so bear with me here. My boyfriend and I were fooling around and I was just coming off of my period (I had been visiting him for the week and had had it for several days prior, was in the final stages where there is still some light, very dark residue). I am a virgin and I don't want to have sex until I get married, but we were basically at the point where all clothing had been removed. He was never inside me, I pulled away and all activity between us ceased as soon as his tip touched me. I wiped away anything that would have been down there immediately after that, and although I don't remembber him having precum at that point, I can't be sure. So basically we never had intercourse, he was never inside me, but what I'm worried about is the precum, if there was any. Should I be? Please help me out here, this has been bothering me a lot the past week and a half and I don't know what to think anymore.
  15. My wife (married just over a year!) and I have been separated for about 6 weeks because I was having some strange reaction in the marriage. I would dearly like her back and am sure she wants to come back, but am very scared that if she does I will start reacting again with those anxious, stressed, trapped feelings. I used to come home and get extremely tense and want to just get out and run away! I believe it is because I do not have a great deal of physical attraction to her and this is causing me to question whether the grass is greener elsewhere. It should be said that from an emotional side of things we get on absolutely perfectly and I cannot fault the girl in any way at all, she is fantastic and there is a real connection and understanding. It was the reason I married her, thinking that the physical side would not be an important issue. I see so many couples fighting over things that in my marriage seem to be in complete harmony. So should I just try and accept the lack of physical attraction and thank my lucky stars that in every other way we get on great, or is it one of those things that bonds a marriage together? And how can I just accept something like that chemistry that comes from within?
  16. Here where I work the guys normally only use the office space area, one of the two girls [both hot] who works there decides that she wanted to work with the guys today doing the same things that they do there. She has been showing me some signs of interest on her part, going out of her way to talk to me, looking me in the eyes, and generally not acting *****y with me like she does the other guys. It happens I leave some of the material from this dating website lying around work for my other co-workers to read, and since most of us are male I felt safe just to leave it in the office area for whoever wants to read it, since there are only two girls that work a ways off and hardly come to the office. It was about 1pm and we were sitting around in the office area talking. Girl comes and picks up a phone that was sitting next to me and brushes her hand acrost my leg and goes, "whoops! Didn't mean to touch you." Then sits down next to me. This sort of made me wonder what her intent for working with the guys was today. Later at break I caught her reading a printout of the "Not dating right now" tip from the main part of the website. I know it's BAD BAD BAD to leave these sort of tips where girls can read them and figure out that someone is bringing it there, so I had to make a little compromise and turn it into an opportunity to tease her. She was away when I saw that she had place the article down and when she came back I decided to have a little fun with her. *Guy sitting next to where she was when she was away* Me: Hey, who left this here? Guy: She was reading that Me: Good, I think I'll read it. *Girl comes prancing back from the office* Her: Hey, I was reading that! Me: Calm down! Are you trying to pick up other girls or something? Her: No, I like to read this material just like all other literature. Her: Besides, I don't agree with that article, I think it's way off base. Me: Is that a fact? Well, I havn't read it yet so I don't know if I agree with you or not.. Her: Give it back, I wasn't through! *grabs for it* Me: Uhh uh, I'm having a look at it to see if I agree with it. *She makes several more "give it back" commands and tries to grab paper away but couldn't, then submits.* Her: Ok, please give it back when you are done. Me: I don't see anything wrong with this so far. Her: Can I show you something in there? Me: Tell me what page Her: I'll point to it with my pinky *She shows the part that says playboy and cosmopolitan* Her: This is associated with playboy and a bunch of other magazines and must be bad. Her: Plus, I have a boyfriend. Her: It's not biblical to have a relationship unless you wanted to marry someone. Me: *ignoring what she just said* Well, you can disagree and I can agree, we have that right Me: Now, I'm trying to read this quickly before break end, then I'll give it back to you. Me: Just read through it, I think it's great *walks towards car and puts article in back seat, girl comes and gets it while getting in.* Her: Thanks Her: Ohh, look what it says ion the front page "when a girl says she is not dating right now and what you can do about it." I don't think every man should be out dating" *two other guys that were listening to this actually say yes and agree to this, bunch of chumps* Me: Actually, girls only say that to guys they don't like. I seriously doubt she would say that to the guy she likes down the street. Her: Whatever. *She then changes the pace of the conversation a little bit with the 2 other guys including me* Her: So, do you have a girlfriend george? George: No Her: Do you Mike? Mike: nope Her: do you, Hero_99? Me: *sarcastic* Actually several, got a calculator? It's a rather large number *everyone starts chuckling a little* Her: W ell, are you dating anyone? Me: Why are you asking? *Girl then goes on a rant about how she has stayed with her boyfriend for 3 ½ years and believes in a solid faithful relationship with someone she intends to marry, blah blah blah. And that she doesn't like players. George and Mike and another guy that comes in keep nodding to every thing that she says. I just start to ignore her at this point.* We go outside and work for about an hour until we have to go back. We met up together back at the truck which has both a front and back-seat. The other guys get in and she stands there and is holding the door and says, Her your pick! *while holding the car door* Me: Ohh, I see how you are.. Trying to give me the impedence… So, I get in the front, then the back, and sit just so she couldn't close the door and when she sat down in the front I jumped into the front seat… Her: Why were you sitting on top of me? Me: Because you were sitting under me! *toothy grin* Her: Uhhh, no, hmmmm *gets a smile on her face! So we are driving back to the office, and she does a common test with the radio. Her: I don't like this radio station *starts flipping channels* *I didn't say anything to this, but she turns it to another channel and says: Her: This is better *I change the channel back to the same station she says she hated* Her: Ohh, I like this channel too.. What a nut… Well, before we got out she scooted closer in next to me and was almost touching me with her face while looking at me in the mirror. This is the same Mexican chick I dated before that was so nervous around me that I could hardly understand her. The other guys can't stand her *****ing, but I can understand why, since they seem to be frustrated chumps who don't realize she is testing to see if there are any guys of value she could be interested in. Hope they learned something from today as well as I have.
  17. I have been in a relationship for a little over a year now, and things are starting to get serious. My boyfriend has mentioned marriage here and there, and his family has asked when we're getting married. I care about him very much and would like to marry him, except I can't get over the fact that he was engaged about 4 years ago, and broke it off because he really didn't want to marry her (he was pressured by her). They kept in contact after the relationship ended until he and I met. He no longer answered her phone calls or her postings on his personal website, and when I posted a message, she went off at me, throwing personal insults at my credibility. She finally stopped calling after I personally told her to stop contacting him. He used to bring her up in conversation about a year ago, and it didn't bother me so much. When I think back now, I get really angry and start entering self- hatred mode. I hate him for thinking about her, talking about her, I even hate him for being stupid enough to almost marry her. I care for him very much but I can't bring myself to think about marriage. I can't forgive or forget. I've tried to at least forgive him, but it's nearly impossible. The more serious the relationship gets, the more I hate myself for not leaving a year ago. I just don't feel special, I feel like "sloppy seconds." Why would a guy become engaged to a girl he doesn't want to marry? Do you think I should let it go?
  18. Ok, heres the deal (please dont think I'm disgusting) I'm in a relationship with a guy 15 yrs older than me, I'm 19. He was my highschool teacher and the first and only guy ive ever been with. My parents found out about our relationship about 3 months after it began (I was no longer in his class but I was still in high school) Then he was sent to Iraq and they thought our relationship ended so they didnt get him introuble w/ the school or anything. But the other day they found that I still had his number and pretty much hate me right now. I love this man to death, he means the world to me--but being with him means totally losing all contact with my family b/c they have made it clear they wont have anything to do with me if I stayed with him. He wants to get married but I am so scared of losing my family when or if I do marry him, because they will know for sure I have been lying to them this whole time. I wish I didn't love him so much and could move on, but every time I try I can't, it breaks my heart... I dont know what to do!
  19. latonia

    Am I Crazy

    I need an objective opinion about my situation right now. I have been married for over 13 years. About 3 years ago, my husband had sex with another woman in our home while I was at work (and videotaped it!) He moved out and after a 1 year separation, we decided to give it another try. About one year later, I discovered domination e-mail messages on his phone and in his e-mail. When I confronted him, he claimed that he was sending those e-mail messages to himself because he was afraid that I might be checking his e-mail and phone. Somehow we were able to get through that period. About one year later, I discovered more suggestive instant messages on his phone. He had been instant messaging domination type messages to a close friend of his who had relocated to another state. In addition to the domination info., he told her that he loved and missed her and she did the same. I confronted both of them. My husband stated that he felt that he did not deserve anything good in his life and needed to send these messages to release these feelings. He said that the friend agreed to play this domination role to help him. Due to a job change, we have now relocated to the same city where the "friend" lives. My husband is very playful with the friend (who happens to be married to another close friend). He claims that the friend and husband are like the family that he never had. Am I crazy to stay in this relationship and for believing all of this information? I just need some feedback. L.
  20. Last week I broke up our engagement but we continued to live together. I told him since he didn't talk about marriage plans and didn't want to marry me, there was no point in being engaged. He let it happen without a doubt. THis weekend he used my sadness over my first daughter moving away 6 hours to College as an excuse to jump out. Also he is buying a new business which he can make some good money in the near future and I am sure he doesn't want to get married so I will have rights to it. He gave me cheap excuses like I don't pick up his clothes for him (he throws everything on the floor). He brought up things from the past, some unfounded and unfair. He just wants out. I called him 6 times after I saw the letter to talk and he wasn't picking up his cell phone. He wants to sell our joint house and is demanding that I move out. I have a dauhhter who is just starting HIgh School in 5 days; I can't just move out right now, and I have the right to stay in the house until it is sold! I decided, based on reading these posts at Ealone, not to pursue him anymore, just let him go. He knows how I feel. I will not call him again. And if he calls me to talk "business" aka how to split our house and everything inside it, I will tell him I want NC and he has to deal with my brother from now on. I simply refuse to talk to him or be nice and cooperative on the phone. He will discuss everyting with my brother ANyone who's been through a break up recently...how long does the pain last? Do we really get over it? I need help and friends right now, but I don't want to bother my friends (they will not believe me since we had many fights in the past). I know I suffer initially but I after a while I am fine. Last year I left him for good and after a few days I was fine, actually looking forward to life without him and with finding someone more stable and dedicated to me.
  21. I have been married for 2 years and together for 7 before that. About 4 months ago I cheated on my wife with a girl who was nothing more than a drunk. I have been an alcoholic for about the past seven years. When I have gotten drunk I said mean and nasty things to my wife. Never name calling but derogatory and harmfull comments. Since the break up after the cheating episode I have been sober for 4 1/2 months, spent over $1000.00 on therapy and have been completley honest in any conversations that I've had with her and anyone concerning my life with her. We never spoke for about 2 months and then started speaking everyday for about a month , about having children, what happened how to deal and get over it etc. I moved back In for about 10 days and everything was fine and then I came home from work one day and she said she wanted me out and was not happy and couldn't do "this" anymore. The days before this she was telling me she loves me and talking about babbies and having sex with me.I have had no contact with her except for a few conversations about legal seperation. When I ask her about filing for legal seperation as far as dates and things go she just say's "what do you think"? She knows I don't want to get a divorce and she's never come right out and asked for one. It's as if she is pushing me to do all the serious stuff against my will. She and my sister were very close and she was a faboulous aunt to my 3 nieces and nephews and I asked her not to "write them off" over my foolish horrible mistake and she said that she's not but no one has heard from her for 4 weeks. Her friends and father hate me now (not that I blame them) and are a great influence on her decision making. I told my wife that there would come the time where I would have to face her parents and other loved ones whom i've hurt and disappointed and try to make things right again, but her father just said "not a f*&$%ing chance!!" HE has constantly been sticking his nose in our lives the whole length of our relationship. He has cheated on his own wife numerous times also and my wife knows this., but she still seems to value his opinion more than anything. I have this constant feeling that there is more to this whole episode than meets the eye. I figure if you want to try and see if you can get over the infedelity, lets try marriage councilling. She wont. I guess she just may want out and has the excuse now that she doesn't look like the bad girl. Thats important to her because she constantly cares what people think. After I sobered up I truly have seen the value of my wife and want so many things with her to put the smile on her face everyday. I have so much regret and shame for what I did and the way that I acted I don't know that I can ever get over it, I am soo sorry for what I did to her. People say I am beating myself up about it too much. She has been out every night since and seems not to be taking it very hard. I am devestated!!! I can't help but feel that I have this new outlook and perspective on the thing that should have been done in our relationship but fear it's simply too late. I have committed 100% to living for our marriage, I only wish I could have been sober enough before this all happened. I've always said I would never cheat on her and truly believed I wouldn't until I got drunk one night and it happened. She's kicked me out before years ago because of the drinking and the whole scenario kinda fells the same. No contact and then 3 months later we're back together fo 2 weeks, everything is good and then BOOM.....out the door again. Please lend me some insight , I feel that no man has enough rope to climb that mountain when the friends and father are against you. I just don't know how honest she's being with herself. She's very vague, and never gives the difinitive YES or NO answers. She has never went to councilling throughout this whole thing and will not consider it. I also would like to know how you deal with the fact that someone else will soon be doing the day-to-day things and sleeping with your wife. I just can't seem to deal with it. I guess I got exactly what I deserved
  22. Hi all, Im a 26 year old. I got married 6 months ago to a man I met online. We've had a good marriage until early this week. I logged onto his yahoo chat (I know this is wrong) pretending I was him. (He's addicted to the internet and I had a feeling something was up) This girl he used to date came on and said she will wait for his call to come over so she could give him a back massage, I eventually told her I was his wife and not him, I called him and told him what I knew. He said he would talk to me about it at home. When he got there he acted as if nothing was wrong, until I started asking him why. He said he never planned to go and he only told her so she would stop asking him to come over, I do not believe this, I want to but I dont. He says it is my fault and I've caused my own pain. My husband has been married two other times, he doesnt have the greates track record. According to this woman, she said he loves me, he always told her that, he told her we were trying to have a baby (which we are) So I dont know, I love him and I really want this to work. He promised he would no longer talk to x-girlfriends on the internet, Im sure he'll stop now but not in the future. I need some advice - PLEASE
  23. I have posted a few time after going through hell with my bf for 3yrs we broke up a few days ago. He gave me no reasons told me he was over it and that he didnt love me and hasnt for a long time. He was very distant when i asked why he jus dismissed me. So i thought i had better not make a fool of myself and went on my merry way. Needless to say it feels like i have been crying for three days i have forgotten what food is and when sleep does finally come i dream of him. Anyway he rang me yesterday on a private number and said that he is sorry and the reason he broke up with me was because he could never marry me anyway (he is muslim and i am christian) and he was making up excuses to make me let go. This hurt me even more because he dragged me along for so long so i politely excused myself from the conversation and am hoping he doesnt cause any trouble for me. Im finding it so hard after 3yrs of being togther every day to nothing. I kno i am better off without him, he cheated on me, he called me names and he was abusive. But i got so used to hanging out for any scrap of affection i became more attatched. How do i stop crying and move on with life and forget about him?
  24. I have led a perfect life you could say. I married my high school sweat heart. We had two beautiful children. We have only "been with" each other and have been so in love, like in a movie. We dated for 10 years before we got married 5 years out of high school. We both had good jobs and waited three years to have children. We did it all right. We have never even dated anyone else. After my second child and I do stay home, things got sour. He started working more overtime and I had the kids full time, school, shopping, balancing the house, etc. I was totally overwhelmed for three years and thought my life was normal. He also started pushing me away in bed (that is so personal, but what the heck). Sometimes we would be intimate but nothing I did or do ever is right or feels good to him. He says he loves me and that I make him feel good. I have to just let him take the lead in that department. I cannot express much there. One day, I remembered an old friend (male) that I had worked with years ago and gone to school with. I was not attracted to him at all. I thought I would contact him as I had done girl friends from my past, totally innocent, although it sounds from my post that I had been led to contact another man. Not so. I just wonder about my friends sometimes and I wrote to him. I even told my husband I did it. He did not mind. This friend starting writing me and telling me about his wife and how he needed marriage advice and I would talk to him. I finally felt needed and liked. He gradually fished information about my marriage and I shared some but not all. We both had kids and talked about how draining that was. This went on for months close to a year. I got used to his flirting but was really busy here and at work (I work at home) and really did not give it a second thought. He was just my friend. One day, he wanted to meet me to talk. He dared me to meet him and I did. Things went from there and I really thought I was in love with him after it was all said and done. I was so messed up. I cried every day. I had not slept with him but the feelings were there. He said he had never done this sort of thing but he said it did not feel wrong with me. He said he was falling in love with me. The day after I consented to sleep with him, which was so aweful and so like I was not even there during the process, he called me and told me he had been caught with another woman by his wife and got kicked out. He said he had to get to his preacher before she did and hung up. I was mortified and I never heard from him again. I immediately told my husband after I collapsed in the floor a month later not able to hold it in any longer. I felt like free sex and I still have not gotten any closure. I feel like I need t call and ask for money. I feel so cheap and cheated, but I did it to myself. My husband left but came back an hour later and said that he had fallen down on his job at home and had left me emotionally handicaped. He stayed with me and talked to me but now he has cut me off from mentioning this again and I am dying inside. I feel so worthless and I want to call this person who used to be my friend and ask him why, but he has ignored all my emails and has cut me off. He is back with his wife and she defends him to the death and says he told her that I basically jumped him in the car. I am so messed up now. I have never done anything like this and feel so alone. Please give me some advice. I have prayed and prayed and that does work to a point but I feel so used and gross. Has this happened to someone else? What happened to me? I don't do things like that? I can barely remember the incident at all. It was so traumatizing.
  25. There`s a guyat my job,he always comes to sit or stand next to me,he rubs my back,and regularly tells me things like,"God...you are so pretty."Is he flirting with me?do you think he could be romantically interested in me?He`s married,though unhappily,and has(older) kids.we`re always locking eyes...I like him,am attracted to him,and could see myself in a relationship with him...however I don`t know how to interpret his actions,and I`m shy about making the first move...
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