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  1. Hi everyone! I'm in major need of advice. So. on June 10-17 I was out of town for work purposes. When I got back later that week I grabbed my boyfriends laptop to play a movie and his e-mail was on the screen. There was one particulare email that stood out to me so I opened it. It was a back and forth email with a prostitute/escort. I confronted him about this and he felt very ashamed and swears nthing happed that he was just curious and extremly horny and desperate while I was away since we hadnt had sex for a 1 1/2 weeks. Let me also add that the reason we hadnt been sexual was becasue we were going thru issues. He had missed my brothers wedding in order to go hang with friends in NY. So obviousl y I was mad. I immediatly ended this with him because it was very hurtful to see this! especially since after my trip we had been very intimate and loving so I didnt undertsand where the needs were coming from? despite this we worked thru things and everything had been going great. Until today. 7.17.19. I happened to go on his computer and saw he had 11 unread texts. So i opened Imessages and saw that during the days i was away not only did he e-mail, but was texting! multiple conversations. again he swears he didnt meet up with anyone and i believe him, but im just so torn!!! I love him so much and I know he loves me as well! i see it. its very confusing to see the man i Love do this. I feel like thats not MY guy. we've been together for 3 years and live together. What should I do?
  2. Hi everyone. Yesterday I was about to check my emails when I realised that my boyfriend was still logged into gmail on my laptop from when he was using it at the weekend. I was about to log out so I could sign in and as my eyes glanced across the screen I noticed an email notification from only fans. For those of u who are unfamiliar with it, it is an an online website where people can sell nude images and videos of themselves. I wasn’t planning on looking through his emails but this surprised me and I was curious to see if there were many more emails from the site. I find out that he has been on the site since the start of this month. He has subscribed to two girls on it and has spent 23 dollars so far. The emails he gets are informing him that he has just received a message from these girls. Most of them seem like spam messages. I don’t think he really communicates with him much. I am okay with him watching porn and I know this is going to sound like I am contradicting myself but I feel like this isn’t right. He is individually choosing these girls and spending money on them. The fact that he has done this is quite upsetting and makes me feel really insecure when I can already give him what these girls have for free?! I plan on bringing it up with him when I see him at the weekend. I don’t know if I should be annoyed about this or not. I kind of wanted other opinions on the situation. I love him and I know he loves me but I find this a bit disrespectful. How would you react? Thanks for any opinions/ advice :)
  3. Hi everyone. So today I went to log on to my emails and realized that my boyfriend was still logged in to his account from when he was on my laptop at the weekend. I wasn't snooping through his mail but upon a glance at the screen I noticed an email notification from only fans informing him that a girl had sent him a message. For those of you who don't know what only fans is, it is an online platform where women can sell nude images and videos of themselves. Naturally this sparked my curiosity so I scrolled down a bit further to realize that he has been on this site since the start of October. He has subscribed to two girls on it and has spent 23 dollars so far. I don't think he has communicated much with them which is good. They seem to just be spam messages. I don't know how I should be feeling about this. We have been together almost 5 years and I thought that our relationship had been really good lately. I really love him and I know that he loves me too. I don't have an issue with him watching porn and I know this sounds like I am contradicting myself but the fact that he felt the need to sign up to this site and spend money on images of other women seems wrong to me. It seems more intimate to me and makes me feel really insecure when I know that I could give him what he is looking for. I don't want to make a huge deal out of it but i find this disrespectful and hurtful. I am going to bring it up at the weekend. Would you be happy if your partner was doing something similar? How would you react? Thanks for any answers. I really appreciate it.
  4. This is about a very good friend of mine. There's this guy in her circle that she's known and liked for ages (something like 20 years). They were both in relationships with other people when they met but they had common friends, so, they stayed in touch. About 3 years ago she broke up with her long-term bf and a year later this guy broke up with his gf, too (except she's still staying in his place 2 years after their break-up because she can't find a job or so he says). Anyway, 6 months ago this guy and my friend started sleeping together. They had decided not to tell their other friends (4-5 people they're very close with....I'm not in that circle although I've met everyone involved). That lasted for a couple of months and then there was a misunderstanding or something that led to them barely talking to each other (his choice according to my friend). I had told her she was better off without him as I found the fact that his ex gf still lived in his house very weird. That guy sent her a very lengthy email today...4 months after their ''breakup'' if we can call it that. She forwarded it to me asking for advice. It was a very disturbing email. Basically, he was telling her that it was all her fault they had stopped talking, he took no responsibility for anything (he apologized for some time he had called her names saying he had done it for her own good) and he said that unless she talks to him/meets him he's going to forward that email with details about their sexual relationship to all their friends and he added that if she planned on denying it, he had proof. He mentioned a bunch of other things, too...(not nice) things she had told him about their common friends when they were 'together'. What was more disturbing was that he presented all this as a ''gift'' to her. He gave her a time line, too....talk to me before Monday or I'm forwarding the email. I was shocked but I was even more shocked when I talked to her and I found out she was rather pleased with the email and acted like it wasn't a big deal and ''I don't care if he forwards it to the others'' but she did email him telling him not to do anything until they talk. This isn't a young girl, it's a woman in her '50s and I know it's her life but I can't help worrying about her. He sounds unstable, threatening and dangerous to me. I told her that I would not meet him and I would even talk to a lawyer. Surely, this email screams blackmail, doesn't it? I just want opinions on whether I have a reason to worry or am I overreacting.
  5. I have an old account that I cannot gain access to. Even after resetting the password, it’s still inaccessible. I honestly don’t even remember what the username is (it was created many years ago). Because of this, I created a new account. I then got an email stating I’ve broken a few rules by establishing another account. I don’t have the authority to reply to that message to ask for help. So, the question is, can the old account be deleted?
  6. Hello all, I'm trying to balance my mental health a little as I think my break up definitely wobbled it a little. I found out my ex was on a dating website, which now I have accepted as she is totally free to do as she wishes. I decided it may be good for me to do so to. I went on the same one as her, not to spy before anyone says! It just seemed it would be the best one for me in terms of opportunities and the fact it's free! It would appear she has hidden her profile as she didn't appear on the search for my town-a blessing in disguise as we won't stumble across each other - but when I clicked the "who viewed me" tab, it showed she had looked at my profile-this would have been few weeks back though as I did log on when I recieved an email telling me I had a message- It showed her as online but I have heard that sometimes these sites aren't fully accurate with the online status. I am assuming she has hidden her profile as at this stage, with lockdown, she may have seen it as a waste of time and will unhide it when things return to normal, this kind of gives me a little relief as deep down I would love to sort things with her. Alternatively she may be hidden and is now chatting to the people that messaged her before she made her profile hidden. Either way, I don't know how best to focus my mind as I think either thought process will cause me unwanted stress or anxiety
  7. I met a woman a week ago and we really hit it off. We have spent 5 nights together – all night. Our time together felt magical. We would send each other an e-mail in the morning, or she would call, and we felt connected. I could tell that she was really into me. Heck, she had asked me out. Three days ago I told her I was getting together with my neighbors last night and that we were going out. I invited her and she was happy about that. Well, this past Friday AM I sent her a quick e-mail to say “hi” and tell her I was thinking about her. No response. Later in the day I had a missed call from her, but there was no voicemail (I hate texting). To me, that’s a lukewarm attempt at contacting me. Last night I went out with my neighbors and I was a little bummed. I drank a lot and when I got home I sent her a quick e-mail that said “we missed you.” (It was my neighbor’s suggestion). Finally, I just received an e-mail from the woman: “I wish I would have known.” Wow. I am usually perceptive, but I am LOST with this. Any suggestions on what’s going on here?
  8. Hey everyone: This pass year, this girl be starring at me. She starred at me for like 1 year, so after that year, I ask her for her email address. Yes we be emailing each other alot. Everytime when we meet in person, or pass by the hallway, we usually look at our eyes before we say hi or talk. Last week, over instant messenger, one of my friend found out that I like her; so he told her over instant messenger that I like her. He told me that she said good stuff about me (like i'm nice, smart, funny, cool, etc...). I really don't know what to do next? Should I ask her out? Does she likes me? Thank you...
  9. Hello everyone. You probably know my saga by now. Met a guy..dated a month and a half...he left me because he said I didn't have enough of a sexual draw. This morning he sent me an email telling me he was sorry things didn't work out. Because we never made love he told me that he couldn't really have a connection with me. We were passionate together, but he wrote, "Pretending to have sex just didn't do it." He said he enjoyed the time he spent with me and he hopes I take care of myself because I was a sweet person. He sent me a bunch of romantic pictures...by the Pre-Raphaelites, my favourite. My question is....why does he call me sweetie and take on this fake caring attitude when he essentially told me I was undesirable and forgettable? I wish I didn't feel so hurt over all of this. I wish I could just shrug this off and forget about it. But I feel so damaged. By the way, thank you for responding to me....... Does anyone know why this guy is like this? Why he is so obsessed with finding a woman who will hop into bed with him on the first date? Is that really the only way to get to know someone? Why can't someone get to know your mind, your heart, your soul? He told me that his first and only girlfriend (12 years ago) wasn't sexually appealing to him, but after he slept with her it didn't matter because they created a physical bond. What about the bond of heart and soul?
  10. Here are the facts: 1. Went out on a 1st date 3 weeks ago - both of us had a great time (he confirmed this and also reiterated this to me a few times) 2. Both of us have been busy - we're in different grad school programs and last week was midterms - and have been unable to really connect again (or at least very limited communication - short phone calls or emails) 3. I had an evening planned with my buddies for Fri nite and invited him - he accepted and seemed to be looking forward to hanging out 4. Evening comes...he's stuck finishing a paper (took longer than he expected)....but he was going to finish and meet us 5. We already finished the 1st part of our evening (8:30PM now) and moved the party to a 2nd location - I call to check in and let him know. He apologizes for being so late and will meet us at 2nd location - asks if he can bring his buddy (of couse, no problem) 6. 2nd location....it is now 9:30 and he is not yet there....he calls says that he is done with paper and buddy is picking him up..will be at the location by 10PM (again apologies) 7. 10PM - still there at location (hmm....I am annoyed) and no phone call - but of course by this time, I am irritated and will not be bothered to call 8. 11PM - party breaks up...still no sign, no phone call. Girlfriends all say don't bother calling him...he's rude to not have checked in by now...so I don't call....and am fully annoyed 9. 11:20 he calls...says he's at the location but doesn't see me...I proceed to tell him that we've left...was not a byatch about it...just very matter of fact. He seems now very sheepish and rather uncomfortable. Apologizes again...and again....tells me that this is really not how he wanted it to turn out...he really wanted to see me...but his buddy that went to pick him up was in bad shape and needed to talk......blah blah blah...sorry sorry sorry...I tell him that I understand that things come up...but I didn't appreciate that he kept me waiting the entire time and did not bother calling me - that was rude. Told him that he's got some major points to score back..... 2nd chance? Do I make peace offering? What to do?
  11. Hi guys, I guess this fits into this category, but i'm not totally sure. Anyway, on to my latest problem: About three weeks ago i started talking to a girl who contacted me via online personals (not the girl I was posting about at that time, but coincidentally someone else entirely). Thigs have been going pretty good, its basically long distance for now as she goes to a college about an hour and a half away and neither of us owns a car. For the last three weeks we've been conversing via email and Im, which has been going great, we exchange fairly long emails with ewach other at least once a day, and when we talk on IM its usually for several hours at a time. So based on that we decided to start talking on the phone, and had our first conversation friday, and just had another one today. These didn't go as well, I seem to freeze up when on the phone, and just can't think of anything to say at times other than "thats great' or "thats funny" or some other basic answer to what ever her topic was, although eventually we could get a decent conversation going, but sooner or later i would go blank again. Each conversation lasted only about 30-45 minutes, with her ending both conversations. I got the impression after the first conversation that she thought I was losing interest, so the next day i sent her an email letting her know that i'm not the best phone conversationalist. One of the things we have discussed periviously is that we both suffer from a great deal of social anxiety, especially when meeting new people. She seems sympathetic to my problem, and willing to be patient while i try and acclimate myself to talking with her on the phone (I rarely talk on the phone beyond calling family or someone to meet up to do work during the school day). I'm glad she's being understanding, but i don't want to leave her bored while i search for something to say, and i don't want her to have to carry every conversation we have. So can anybody give me any tips on how to better conduct myself on the phone? Its not like I don't have things to talk to her, its just that i can't seem to come up with anything good while i'm talking to her. I'm guessing as with any other anxiety issue i've faced, it will get better the more i talk with her. Any advice would be helpful, mtastic
  12. Hey everyone. I'm feeling kinda down and just need some friendly encouragement. Aside from being a nutritionsist(my day job) I am also an actor. I've done it forever, but unfortunately due to financial and family issues I've had, I haven't done it in a while. I recently decided to get back to it and did my first audition in a long time. I felt really proud of myself, because I prepared really well and had a killer audition. I felt very confident about it until I got an email yesterday saying that they regretted not being able to use my talent for this particular season, but that they sincerely appreciated my audition and wished me success. And also enocuraged me to audition next year. I am not really crushed or anything(I have another audition in couple weeks) but just disappointed and need some encouragement. I start questioning my talent and place in life. Any friendly words would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance.
  13. I have read almost a million posts on here and everything that has been said has fit my sitch. we were together for 14mo. me 28 she 24. going through a rough time the arguing. she secrelty removed her belongings from my place, started talking to ex flings, began to avoid me so we had the talk. i could tell she couldn't hold it in any longer. during the talk we both cried and said our love yous. i gave her a letter I had typed up earlier in the day to take with her, but i also read it for he wheeping. Her reasons were that I said things she just can't forget, which i owned up too. She said she still loves me, felt like she was making a mistake, she was confused. I of course was supportive towards her decision, but told her I didn't want to give up on us. Told her I didn't want it to end, but if that is how she felt than that is what she needed to do. Beginnig that night I found this board and read about NC so I started NC right away. Now what I need advice on: Although I found out today that my mom sent her an email the day after we split talking about how much my parents would miss her and how much she meant to them and how devastated i was. Well I guess my ex responded and it was really high level. for instance she thanked them for the kind words they had for her. She would miss them also and would like to keep in touch. my ex said she would never erase the memoris and would miss them. she also said she is in a bad spot right now because she had tons of emotions swirling around in her head. Then my mom tells me that she emailed her back that she was like the daughter she never had and that she would always be there for her. My mom also told her about a trip I paid for to surprise my ex, which I got the deposit back for, and I know my mom didn't know it was a surprise because i didn't tell her it was. my mom thought my ex knew and wanted her to know I was a good man and would return her part of the money. Althought didn't know of the plans and my ex didn't need to know this and now she does. the ex and I would always take trips that we planned together, which I know my mom only assumesd. my mom also told her that if she moved on that was great and they were happy. She also mentioned to her how breaks can be good for relationships. My mom finally told me this today because she felt bad and wanted to let me know she would not email my ex again unless my ex contacted her. Even though it has been two weeks since my breakup, my mom wants me to move on, quickly. After that long story, I guess I want to know if my mom screwed whatever chance I have at self pride. Also let me know if relatives can break the NC rule and it be okay? I know my mom had good intentions. Let me know your thoughts and if you ever experienced this sort of situation before. I had dated exs where their ex boyfriend's parents still kept in touch. BTW I haven't heard from my ex since the night we broke up.
  14. so things kind of ended at beginning of the month. but we know we still love each other. and we're good friends, so still been in contact. past 4 days, she's been having breakdown, over personal things. and i know she doesn't talk 2 anyone about it, but she at least talks 2 me about most of it. so we've been txting every nite till very extreme hours until she sleeps for a few hours and then start txting again. i've been sticking by, supporting her and reassuring her. she even rang the nite b4 last. i know i cheer her up. the 1st nite i said i'll go over and c her in the morning, she didn't say yes/no so i didn't. then at nite when she rang, she asked y i hadn't turned up so i said i don't know. so yesterday, her being back at work, i assumed things would get better. she even emailed me from work to c how my day had been and told me 2 enjoy my evening. when i emailed back, i realised she wasn't in a gd state once again. however this time i asked wot happened......but perhaps it was cos she was at work, she didn't mention wot happened. so i didn't push on. again i said if u need anyone i can come and c u. no direct response again except 'thank u' so i didn't go. after midnight she txted to say she just got home from seeing clients. and said she was depressed, i didn't ask wot was wrong cos i assumed i wouldn't get an answer. and she didn't call so i left it to her. she txted so i replied and told her 2 let me know how she feels in morning when she wakes up. then at half 2am, she txted to say 'nite' so obviously she was still thinking bout me. i eventually txted when i knew she was asleep and said just give me a yes/no answer in the morning as 2 whether u want me 2 come and c u. so this morning, she said 'no to ur question, not the right time. time i need 2 be on my own. love 2 c u sometime but not in these circumstances.' she even signed off with 'xxx' as opposed to the 'x' i usually get nowadays. so i'm just confused........y would she not want 2 c me if she loves me so much? i wanted 2 c her solely as a friend. but each time we do c each other, something ends up happening, but its always her who makes the move, so i wouldn't just start kissing her or anything. i just want 2 make sure she's ok cos she just drinks and smokes when she's home from work. does her txt mean its all over between us? usually she always wants 2 c me, so i'm not sure whether she really does just need time on her own or what? cos when i'm depressed, its true to say i want 2 be on my own in my room, but i'd see my closest friends for a little while. so i don't understand what she wants. obviously i replied that 'it's fine, i understand' but just want to know wot u think she's thinking. and where do i stand? if she didn't care or want 2 hear from me, she shouldn't be txting or emailing or calling me......and now that i am helping her, with her saying 'thanks 4 caring 4 me....thanks 4 being here etc' she doesn't want 2 c me! any responses from u guys would be nice, thanx!
  15. The highlights: Brother introduced me to a girl about in early November, spent 2 weeks E-mailing and talking over the cells, spent the T-day break together, spent the next few weeks e-mailing and celling, spent the 3.5 weeks of xmas/semester break together, had the talk about me being here for one last semester (4 hours from Mpls/St. Paul) and she was onboard, she surprised me by coming out here for 3 days after I returned from the break, and than it started to fall apart. She stated that we moved to fast, didn't establish a friendship and she needed her space. Hmmm, what was the 4-plus weeks talking establish and if we moved too fast why didn't she slow things down? Okay, my two conclusions and these are just my opinions: 1-I was a BF of connivance and she was along for the ride, never had any true feelings, if she did, they weren't enough to sustain "us." 2-She could not handle the distance and decided to end it as easily as she could 3-She is waiting to see if I end up with a job in the TC's and than she will pursue another relationship with me, which just tells me that she cannot handle difficult situations in relationships AND likes them to run as smoothly as possible. Heck, relationships are tough, but why make them any more difficult? So, what do you think? Did we move too fast or was I option number three? Oh, she wants to do the friendship thing, but I personally find it difficult to move to a friendship state after being in an intimate relationship.
  16. My ex and I continue to be friends and we email each other frequently though she is "Happilly" married... Often in her emails she will write a sentence and exclude the word "I". Here is an example Me: "Are you going to be online later?" Her: "should be at some point" I often read alot of emails from different people online who omit the word "I". Is she seperating herself from me in an unconscious way? I am just curious to know or hear advice.
  17. Alright, It's been 3-4 days since I sent an email to this girl I just went on a date with for the first time and I still havn't gotten a response yet. I was just wondering If I should call her or just take the hint that she's not interested because she hasn't written me back yet. This is REALLY hard because I actually really have feelings for this girl. I actually mentioned this to one of my girl friends and she said I should call because the girl might be upset that I just sent an email instead of calling her right away and that if she kissed me on the cheek she must have liked me at list a little bit...But then one of my guy friends said to just wait and let her come to me..if she wants me, she'll call me and if I call her she might think im stalkin her or something. I dunno..What do you guys think?
  18. Hi All, first post in a long while..I used to post here alot when I first broke up with my ex of 3 years ,1.5 years ago. It's been a long road but now fully healed and ready to find that special someone. I've dated alot since I've broken up with the ex , say about 10 women or so but for the past 3 weeks I've been dating this 1 girl in particular.. Thing is I haven't felt this way for a girl since my ex. all the other girls prior to her were just for fun but I actually really like this one but to be honest she is confusing the hell out of me.. So far we've been on 3 dates..first date we met up for some beers and chatted for 3 hours..she e-mailed then next day and said she had a good time and would like to get together again...So we did..2nd date was last Saturday and I took her out to dinner had a nice time then we rented a movie and went to her house to watch it and had some wine..good time as well..kissed her at the end of the night.. 3rd date was last night..she took me to the movies and we watched "Hitch" not bad movie by the way.. our conversation flows easily and laugh together often..anyways after the movie I dropped her off at home and in my car I wanted to kiss her again so badly but we didn't end up kissing.. told her thanks for the movie and she said she'd e-mail me at work today.. The question is I don't know how to read this girl...she confuses me..at times I think she's into me and times I don't think.. How should I play from here on then ? I'm new to this part actually.. meeting a girl I actually like alot since my ex.. Am I ready too much into things or what ?..lol
  19. I met a nice quiet (possibly shy) guy. We've been together 3 times. The last time I invited him over my house (nonromatic) for dinner. He seemed very comfortable and opened up and talked more than he ever had. I had a great time enjoying his company. We talked, laughed. It just seems like I'm initating the relationship. If I call him with the intend to just say Hi! or talk, he usually suggests that we get together. That's ok but why doesn't he call. I called him last Friday, and he told me he was busy that weekend and suggested that we possibly get together this weekend. Well, today is Friday and I haven't heard from him and I don't think it's appropriate for me to call him. Since I had invited him over my house, he has suggested that one of these weekends, he'll like to invite me over to his. I feel that he likes me and enjoys my company. I don't know if he's just slow or cautious or if he's even interested in a dating/relationship. If I email him, he's quick to response back. Some of friends think that because he's a quiet guy, he needs a little nudge but I think having him over my house for dinner should have given him a clue. My problem is I don't want to be the aggressor or seem like I'm chasing him. Any clues or hints? Thanks.
  20. my ex and i have have gone out for about 2 years and we broke up about a month ago. she wanted to have no contact with me until we got back to school which is in a few days. she instant messaged me a week ago asking what i was up to and when she was going back to school, i responded casually. yesterday she emailed me the exact date of when she was going. i did not reply to the email. i want to know how i should act or what i should do when i talk to her. she broke up with me b/c her mom doesnt approve of me(not because of how i treat her but more or less my ethnicity) her mom tells her that she shouldnt be commited right now she should to see other guys, she is gonna transfer to another school( just a few hrs away no biggie for me i can drive to see her when i can) and she wants more guy friends. so since she broke up with me i am still confused about which one is the real reason or maybe a part of all of them is real. the breakup caught everyone by surprise even her sister was surprised. things between us have always been GREAT but her moms disapproval of me really gets to her. i am also wondering what she thinks about other guys as well. i am her first serious bf and even while we were goin out guys hit on her and emailed her for dates n stuff, i did not act jealous or let it bother me cuz i know she loves me, but does she miss all the attention a single girl gets? maybe shes bored of me? i just dont know what to say or how to act toward her once we talked in a few days. we will have not seen each other for a month. need sum advice of what to do
  21. I will try and be as brief as possible. We met about 7 months ago. She is 4 1/2 years younger than me. She has two children in another state who live with their father. She divorced him over a year ago and left to get away from him but misses her children very much. We broke up at the end of April after an incident where I freaked out because I was insecure and it manifested itself when we couldn't get a table anywhere for dinner. She tried to reassure me but I clammed up. We did get together two weeks later, and since, we had been going back and forth between being completely in couple mode to just friends. Regardless, we have been intimate the entire time. However, there have been occasions where it seemed that we couldn't deal with it and would almost separate only to come back together. This whole time, she has been torn between wanting to stay here and be with me, or go back to her children. I am supportive of her being with her children and think we can work it out, she takes an "all-or-nothing" approach. She even told about three weeks ago that she was considering staying here for me. I have even offered to go with her and she actually considered it seriously until she decided it "would only make things more complicated". She is afraid her ex-husband may make it difficult for her to see her kids. We went to Mexico last month and we seemed to get very close. Since we have been back she has been increasingly unavailable. Two weeks ago, we had a terrible falling out, precipitated by alcohol, me being on medication and her seeking independence. We went out and insecurities built up and words were exchanged. The incident, in the end, really is not what concerns me as it was just an excuse for her to do what she did later. Last week, she called me up and I went over. We didn't discuss the previous incident but ended up sleeping together. Then, on Monday, she emailed me and said it was a "HUGE mistake"...and said it would be better if we didn't keep in touch anymore. She finished by saying "Good bye". However, she went out with my sister this past Friday, and told her the following: That she does this when she cares alot about someone (getting distant). She says that she is definitely moving back to xxxx in two weeks. She only had "good things" to say about me, that we had a lot of good times together. She appreciated my email from Friday. Her family here doesn't want her to go. She doesn't know whether to keep some stuff in here or not, whether to "keep a door open here". However she said she thinks what she did was for the best, in terms of saying good bye to me. My thoughts are that none of this is new. That one Saturday was just an excuse to make a clean break. I still want her back and think she is making an "all or nothing" thing out of this, either she go to xxxx and be with her kids, which means to her closing off contact with me, or she stay in xxxx and give her kids up and be near me. I am thinking of emailing her tomorrow telling her that my sister told me she is leaving in two weeks and that I would like to see her before she goes. Please help! I don't think its hopeless... Even last Friday, she seemed so into me then she sent that email the following Monday. I responded essentially telling her it was not necessary to end our friendship. Since Monday, I have used NC except to tell her it was nice of her to invite my sister out. Any advice would be appreciated.
  22. hi every1 - i dont know if this is the right area to post it but my name is teri , im 21 years old and i suffer from an extremely lowself esteem. ive tried many ways to help myself but nothing is working out. i fail in everything. my social anxiety is crippling to the point where i cant carry out a proper conversation. i feel very lonely and suffocated most of the time. my parents are both diabetic an im epileptic. i feel depressed and suicidal some of the time.ive had to drop out of school several times because of these problems- i cant bear using the bus, i feel scared. does any1 have any suggestions on how i can make friends? if so please email me at email removed
  23. Okay, so I met this girl online 2 weeks ago and sent messeges back and forth for a day or two, then we chatted. She told me she has never met and is not interested in meeting someone off the net. At the end of our chat, I now have her phone number and she wants to meet me. So she calls me later and reaffirms that she wants to "hang out". We meet. I took her to a lake to feed ducks. We talked a lot. Then we went out for some chinese, then went back to her place, and then walked to get some ice cream. Then we came back and watched a movie at her place. We didn't sit next to each other. She sat in her fav recliner and I sat on the couch. I REALLY wanted to ask if she'd sit next to me, but my instincts told me if she wanted to, and was comfortable enough, she would somehow move closer over time. Or she could just be shy and is waiting for me to ask her to do it cuz that's happened to me before as well. Anyway, the movie is over and we get online and we show each other's photo albums of when were were kids...and she showed me her parent's pictures and stuff. She gently kicked my foot a few times and then said "Oh, was that your foot?". lol Anyway, I asked if she wanted to go to the state fair with me...and she said she'd like it. Then we talked about going trick or treating together. And then I mentioned some other ideas, and she was ALL for doing those things with me! When I was about to leave, I opened my arms for a hug and she opened hers right back and we had a tight 2 second hug. I definitely didn't feel it was time for "the kiss" yet. I normally have a pretty good gut instinct on when to do thinsg. She had to leave town the next day for a few days, but I got a surprise text message of a smiley face from her. So I'm THINKING that she does like me for more than "just friends". I just need some affirmation. BECAUSE THIS GIRL SWEPT ME OFF MY FEET!!! And it would suck to be "just friends", but I would rather take that than nothing. What do you guys think? I also should mention that she emailed me the next day and said she had a fun time. She said that when we met, it felt like we were old friends. Is that a sign of "Hey let's just be friends" or does it just mean that she felt really comfortable around me for a first meeting and I shouldn't think much of it?
  24. Hi Everyone, I need some advice. I have my profile on a couple of personal sites. And I just received an email from a guy who wants the password to my picture. Now I'm not sure that I want to give him the password. And I would just say no. But this site is one of those that you have to pay to make contact, and I'd feel really guilty for not giving it to him but at the same time I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with giving it to him. Has anyone got any advice Please??? cass
  25. my former best friend and I are no longer friends. We were roomates for one year in college and we hit it off great. We hung out 24/7 and we had so much fun. We got to be so close that I considered her my sister vice versa. She was there for me a lot when my grandpa passed away and when I was having trouble with my bf. After I left that college and came home we had to talk on the phone or email and we didn't get to talk nearly as much as we would like to. Our conversations started to only be about her and when I would try to tell her what was going on in my life, she wouldn't listen. On top of that, she always gave me bad advice about my bf (this girl has never dated anyone, but she wanted to give me advice). She said horrible things like my bf is just making an excuse to break up with me. Everytime we talked she wanted me to break up wtih him even though she knows that i truly love him so much... she would not stop calling my house. She just would call way too much all the time and super early (there's a big time difference between hawaii and michigan and she always forgot about that). At first i'd have someone else answer the phone and tell her that i wasn't home. But then I answered the phone and told her to not ever call me again. I've changed my email and cell phone number to avoid her because I just think that she's being rude. My question is i don't know if i was too harsh on her. I've tried telling her before that she needs to listen to me, but she wouldnt'. She would have no problem running up my cell phone bills with her phone calls that were about nothing important. I guess i just feel bad... IF anyone could help, that would be awesome! thanks
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