robowarrior

Well forgiveness is important because it enables us to put a point behind it , and move on with our own lives. Its basically where you say, ok he's going his way in life, and im going my way in life. The realisation begins when you understand that you two have come to a dead end in the relationship, you can yell,jump,cry any way you want, but the dead end remains a dead end, so the only thing you can do is to turn your car around and head back to the mainway of life, and find someone else who is suitable for you.

Unless you solve the problems that lead to the break up, i don't think its a good idea to come back again.

Run away run away! your just a rebound guy, your not her nr.1 in her life. You deserve to be nr.1 in her life, and vice versa. And your not, and your in for a lot of hurt if she just uses you as a shoulder to lean on, while she has the ex as her nr.1 on the list. My advice is 'bail out' don't be her emotional tampon, i know love makes blind but in these kind of situations its better to put off the blindfold and be realistic about the situation. You'll only pound your own head if you don't.

i mean is that a problem? Id thought such a thing would be all the more fun for you =\

i wouldn't bother replying, just close your ears and mind to them.

You should never have gone into a relationship expecting things to work out just because it concerned 'your case' reality is that a girl can pack her bags and leave any day. If you drive with your car into a dead end road, what do you do? You turn your car around and head back to the highway. Same counts for dead end relationships. You could complain till the end of time to no avail that it is a dead end road, its dead you have to turn around or keep stuck in that place, which is just utterly useless. Same counts for your idea of moving out of the area, don't you know that the problems you have will just move together with you to that new area? This because the problem is stuck in your head, and is not attached to the the area you are in. It would be wise to realise that. Anyway the only solution for a lost relationship is a new relationship. if i where you id focus my arrows on another person to meet. That when you are ready for a new relationship that is.

You are weak because you don't stand strong in your choices. You are taking too much time in aknowledging wether you are bi-gay or straight. Its ok that it takes time, but by the moment you are getting laid by a guy , you should have made your mind up 'before' that happens. You shouldn't be involved in a relationship if you aren't ready. Come out or stay in the closet, it really doesn't matter to me, but it matters to you what decision you make. Because with it you can choose a path in your life that you want to take. No wonder you are getting emotionally confused, you are letting yourself getting involved in things while you don't have a single clue if its what you really want. You are hesitating in your choices because of the social pressures around you. Who of some state that its wrong to be gay and will give you the looks if you would follow a lifestyle like that. Always defend strongly what you stand for. Show spine and definition in the choices you have made. (i did this because it is the path i want to follow) , i am with this girl because i love her and want to be with her. Look forward, move forward ,Never stand still. Retreat and you will age. Hesitate and you will die.

I would try to seduce him sexually. Don't give up, just keep on trying to get him in a relationship with you.

That sounds familiar, i have everything i could ever want in my life, and for a long time i don't think i had any value for anything. They say that you don't know what you have until you lose it. For us walking to the kitchen and getting a snack would be normal , but for someone in a wheel chair it would be nothing less then a miracle if that person was able walk to the kitchen. So you can start to learn to appreciate things, from another way and in another point of view. For someone who has spend years in jail and in dark isolation, a ray of light is nothing less then a miracle. So what you can try to do is to appreciate the things you received in life from these kind of points of views. It was like in the bible where Jesus healed 12 people. Only 1 came back in appreciation of what happened. You can thank God for all what you received in life, and say to yourself im happy for all the efforts that are made towards me, and that i make towards others.

Future first, relationship later. I think that's the basis you should follow. Crazy person + sane person = insane relationship. So make sure you have a partner who has her head on her shoulders.

Move back to springfield. If you can't then break up with her and move on with your life. Its a bit of a harsh method, but you have to be realistic, if you are sure you aren't able to see her anymore, then you have to find someone else within your inner circle.

There's something called "the unwritten law of reasonability" If he goes that wild at you , say 'give me some slack space' You can't have everything in life working out 100% perfect. Where did he get such a kind of idea in the first place. And if you have reasonable doubts about something, he shouldn't shoot you down, he should listen and be considerate of the situation. So if you ask me, yes he is overreacting. Is he going to change? Hell no, so either you be punctual as he wants you to be, or bail out of this relationship. Ask yourself the question , are you with him so he can make you unhappy, is he with you so you can constantly anger him with a lifestyle that he isn't pleased about? Of course not, couples are supposed to make eachother happy. If one gives a swing to that wheel of hatred by starting an argument, and the other gives another argument as a reply, then the wheel of hatred will keep on spinning forever. So refuse to give another argument, doesn't matter who started it, because the wheel will stop if you keep your arguments at bay. Arguments are like poison, even small arguments can lead to big break ups. So only put love and light into eachothers lives. So if he has an idea he feels strongly about say something like 'ok i support the idea, but i want to know about" ... . That way he can never say that you don't support the idea. If you come slightly late, give a valid exuse. If you have a valid reason and he still goes strong against you. Explain to him that these kind of things can happen. If he still doesn't listen, well then its up to you if you still want to stay with him.

Well if she isn't your nr.1 in your heart then its definitly time to move on with your life.

Keep on pursuading this relationship until she gives into wanting to be with you, you have absolutely nothing to lose, so just go for gold.

Its simply , friends relationships between men and woman don't exist, unless the other is lesbian or gay, there will always be a sexual stimulating intereaction, this because you can't stop nature. The guy falls in love with you and wants a relationship or vice versa. So basically this answers why you think they are acting weird while they are just naturally falling in love with you. My advice would be , no friends with men unless you don't mind a relationship coming from it. That will make you avoid and be in control of wether a relationship will form or not. The most important question thereforeeee is , what do you want? Relationship or not? You can't have them as friends because this will lead them to want to be in a relationship with you. So you have to make a concession and certain choices that will lead to a desirable situation for you.

Its normal, i cried more over the death of my cat then my grandma. The reason? Exactly what you mentioned, what a person means to you IS the determining factor of how much you are bothered by something. But i think you shouldn't go into a relationship expecting things to work out to begin with just because it is your 'case' that its about. Reality is that a guy can pack his bags and leave anyday. And although you can always love your ex, you have to understand that you are at a dead end road, and should turn your car and head back to the mainway of life and move on into something that can bear fruit.

Give him 'security' Say to him, you can stay as long you don't betray me. You already took him back, so as long as you don't do that you don't have to worry 6 months down the line, because i love you and i want to be with you, as long as you stay faithfull to me, but even more to our child who needs you as a father to look up to. I don't want to give her the example of a dad who leaves and doesn't take responsibility. Although you shouldn't be too hard on him, such a message as above should be clear. It might take a boy to make a girl pregnant, but it takes a man to raise a family.

Well we always say for fun , if you think no one cares about you , stop paying the bills and there will definitly be people be at your place =D But in all seriousness the thing about these guys is, that these guys are probably normal , but you are probably too beautifull for your own good. So for you, if you ever initiate a relationship with a guy that you have to tell him that you don't mind a relationship but you don't like the obsessiveness. Then you can tell him about all the guys you dumped because they obsessed over you, and that will act as a good warning towards him that he shouldn't go over the top with you in terms of clingyness. You know good couples communicate to eachother directly about what bothers them, i think that if you would have communicated this to the other guys , they would at least have taken a step back (theorethically) in terms of how obsessive they were over you. You don't have to be afraid of being alone, as long as you step towards the people yourself and initiate action to meet nice and interesting people. (not things, like drug dealers,jerks, arrogant people) those negative people is not what i mean with interesting. Because despite of the good looks, you have to make good choices in your life. This because i know dozens of older woman who's lives got ruined because they initiated to be in a relationship with the wrong men. This because you can be as pure,natural,beautifull,loving etc etc, but if you date a drunk drug addict he can bring you down the drain. Basically you have to be very carefull with other people's feelings, if you know guys go into head over heels in love mode with you. You don't want to initiate contact with them, if aren't interested in a long term relationship. This because if you give a guy the idea that there's possibly a relationship in for him to be together with you, he could go from love, to obsessive and clingy, so if the love isn't mutual, i definitly would realise the fact that you shouldn't be in a relationship with someone you don't even love. This because any affection displayed will simply be wasted on someone who doesn't care. This is why the guy got angry and said you where rude for not answering back. From your side its logical 'he's too clingly what a jerk, leave me alone' , from his side its 'i thought she was interested in me, why isn't she answering me' ? Now if you put yourself in his shoes, you are calling someone you love, and he doesn't pick up, how would make that you feel? So basically it was understandable you didn't pick up, but it was rude indeed nevertheless from his piont of view. But the issue here isn't who is wrong or right. What's far more important is that you 'avoid' situations like this by properly communicating wether you are completely devoted to someone or not. Make your intentions clear and direct so that the guys you meet, know where they stand in terms of a relationship compared to you. This because the way you write it, they are standing in line to be in a relationship with you. You basically have this doom scenario in front of you, zomg 40 years will never meet someone = end of the world. Reality is that you should show you have a life of your own to begin with, your 40 year old boss is still alive right? And even if you die alone, its not like you'll notice after that. I have a grandmother of 85 years, you know one day you won't be able to do a request on your beauty because its gone, then the only thing you have left is who you are as a person. People still love to visit my grandmother, the reason? She is cozy, loving , nice , humorous and in for a laugh, and you can always talk to her as a person about anything,which makes her wonderfull. You know when you are at a high age like that, most of your family from your generation and friends have died. But my grandmother just went to clubs for older people and met new people, where they talk. Or in other words you don't have to be alone as long as you step towards the people. But its about the content on who you are as a person. My other grandma who also reached the age of 85, was less nice, it was uncozy, and the nastyness repelled people from being with her, causing loneyness. The nasty thing was dragging people thru the dirt with nasty comments, and belitteling everythning people did with negativity. You know its like stamping on you with your foot on the ground, and important life lesson i learned from that was that nothing can grow from negativity. Like a plant needs fertile soil to grow in, you need a positive environment where everyone can be happy in , and can enjoy your company. You want to be a wonderfull grandma, not the hag from hell.

I haven't followed your story but I would be thinking she was having an affair with someone else. It isn't pleasant to say the least , but you can only love someone , you don't own them as property, meaning that the reality is that a woman can pack her bags and leave anyday. Life in general is like sand, eventually everything will slip from your hand. Personally i think that if she was having an affair i wouldn't be wanting her back. You see you have to be nr.1 in her life, and if you aren't , then its time to devide and depart. This because you deserve to be number 1.

Ah the magical road that leads to the paradise kiss, how wonderfull. Well i understand your story completely, so lets straighten things out here. Basically the problems are. - no relationship - no friends - no time So the problem in your life is with one word described. Contradictions. How so? You can't sustain a relationship with constant arguing. You can't have a social group if you need that time to study You can't have friends with benefits, if you want companionship. The problem is that you constantly go into (read) DISFUNCTIONAL lifestyles. Your life needs a FUNCTIONAL basis. Imagine if you have a clock all the mechanical parts need to be adjusted in a proper way for the clock to work. You cannot gain something without losing something. You have to present something with the equal value to gain the thing you desire. This is the code of equivalent trade and works pretty much in every situation. There are many things we need to re-evaluate in the structure of your life. I will discuss the problems in terms of relationships, friends and time for you. First and most important that you understand the meaning of life. Because the rest of the structure is derative from it. The meaning of life is to love and help others. The idea that you are separated from other people is false, you are interconnected via others with love, and loving others and helping them creates a sustainable (read) functional environment for you to be happy in and lead a possible normal life. Ask yourself the question, am i with her to make her life miserable? Is she with me so she can make my life horrible? Of course not, couples are supposed to make eachother happy. With constant arguing you are only bringing poison, darkness and hatred into eachothers lives. So ONLY bring love and light into the lives of everyone you meet in life. Even small arguments act as poison that slowly cause a BIG break up. A person isn't with you, and will be repelled if you make their lives miserable. People are attracted to happy factors, if a pool is full of dirt would you like to swim in it? Nope, well same counts for people who want to swim in a clean relationship without their partners shoveling cow dong into their faces. A relationship is all about being together but still letting eachother being able to do their own thing. Never go into a relationship expecting it to work out just because it concerns 'your' case. Reality is that a woman can pack her bags and leave any day. Another thing that is disturbing that you go into a relationship with woman who are mentally unstable. A woman who has a cocaine addiction doesn't need a boyfriend, she needs rehab. So that in order for her to go from disfunctional to functional she first needs to get rid of her addiction. You DO understand that even if you where functional, but go into a relationship with a mentally unstable woman, that your relationship automatically becomes disfunctional right? Crazy woman + normal man = crazy relationship. So definitly watch out who you bring into your own life, isn't the one causing your life to go down the drain and into some mental havoc. Another advice is break it off with the friends w/benefits thing, those kind of relationship are meaningless and have no value,nor future. In terms of friends. A real friend steps into your life, when a fake friend steps out. So be carefull who you call friend to begin with. Friends usually are just benefitting from eachother, a friend that would give his life to save you would be far more rare. And with friends you also have to watch out for the arguing thing mentioned before, its about having a good time and enjoying yourself, not about backstabbing and god knows what kind of awfull things they do to eachother, don't get into a situation where you say to yourself 'with friends like these , who needs enemies?', don't get friends who do drugs, (smoke and alcohol are also not that preferable) But how to make friends? I also had a period where i was very unhappy and alone, when one night i had a dream( in that dream i was with family and i confronted my uncle with my lonelyness and unhappyness. My uncle said yeah well look 'if you don't want to be alone , you have to step towards the people' ) Best darn advice i ever had in a dream, then it hit me that. No action = no reaction, we often have the idea its a hotel kind of thing, where we expect people to ring on our doors like roomservice , then come in and make us happy. Although that thought is most enjoyable , its unfortunately how reality works. We have to take a deep breath and step outside in the real world, with real people, and then kick our own but to make an effort to make friends. And stepping towards the people and intereact just like the dream stated. In terms of time. Time is a precious thing, we value our time and we need it for achieving our goals in life. And here's an important thing. We shouldn't go into a relationship if we don't have the time to pursuade one, we shouldn't have this huge friends group, if we never have time to visit them. The thing about relationships is that. They demand TIME and as such they are an investment. And basically you have to make a concession in being honest to ourselves and say 'if i don't have time to invest in a relationship' then i shouldn't pursuade one. So basically coming back to your current situation you are now in university, you don't have time for a gf or relationships, and knowing that equivalant trade requires sacrifice, you should in my opinion swallow this one year, just entirelly focus yourself on your university. If its just one year, and then after you get your diploma, then personally i (after that year) would make a strong basis for my house,future,carreer. Then i wouldn't go for the diamonds in my life, but settle for the brass, so i would have time to be in a sustainable relationship and could raise a family in a proper functional way.

Wouldn't worry , her kissing you is a good sign, look at her actions not at her words, if the body is moving towards you its a good sign, if the body goes away from you that's a bad sign, her kissing you is a move towards you, so you have nothing to worry about. Just keep on pursueding her and go for gold. It might eventually give the reward you been waiting for.

Basically there are a number of factors that lead to this. Out of sight is out of heart, him leaving to iraq has melted away the amount of intimacy that is required in a relationship, naturally she has tried to seek this intimacy somewhere else, and guys being available its not so strange the other guy took his place. Him going to iraq, getting post traumatic stress disorder, has resulted him into trying to drink his problems away. (conclusively these above factors are what is making the relationship crumble) he is unstable,she is having an affair. And the kids + family are the victims. He needs a psychiater (who needs to be told that he has PTSD as a result of the war) He needs to go into a support group and follow the 10 step program. As far as the relationship goes, its finished and over. Since (dad) is unable to support the kids due to his drunkeness, the kids will automatically be submitted to the mother. Who is more suitable along with her new partner to provide a decent future. Going from the fact that its a 'normal proportioned house' 8people is FAR to much, 4 people for 1 household is maximum in terms of retaining your sanity. I think your brother and your sister should move to another house, OR his fiancee and her new love along with the kids move to another house. I think the situation will be escalating if people who are having affairs with eachother keep on living in the same house. =\ I really wonder if blaming him is going to solve anything, he needs to aknowledge that he has a problem and needs treatment, and needs to WANT to get out of the mess. Just say to him that he can't keep living on like a pig , not that he is a pig, he just shouldn't follow that kind of lifestyle. Tell him that drinking is only a problem suppressor and not a problem solver. You really have to constantly manouvre him and convince him to get treatment, chaos has to make place for order, and the future of everyone needs to be secured. Basically you need to goto the root of the problem. Which is the drinking, and her having an affair. Basically i see it like this, sure its very wrong for her to have an affair. Both aren't doing the right thing, we know that. But in the overal picture its better if she leaves an alcohol addict, and that's why i want you to just let her and her fiancee go and form a household. You don't have to be happy with what she did, but you can try to bless her new future,even tho it was far from an ideal situation. Second support your brother thru his misery. Hang in there even if its hard. You can't replace professional medical help or treatment, but you can try to pull him back together, and constantly movitate him to get rid of his alcohol problem. I've read something about (not verified i should say) flax oil link removed which sounds promising. link removed There are many ways to go about seeking recovery, here are a few links to several fellowships dealing with different addictions. Each link is to the fellowship's self-test to indicate whether you may have a problem. The fellowship websites and their self-tests: 1) Alcoholics Anonymous (Is AA for you?) link removed 2) Narcotics Anonymous (Am I an addict?) link removed 3) Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (40 questions for self-diagnosis) link removed 4) Overeaters Anonymous (Is OA for you?) link removed All of these self-tests are good, but sometimes addicts find it difficult to be honest with themselves. The best way to find out if you suffer from addiction is to go to a 12-step meeting and see if you relate to what others share about at the meeting. How to find meetings: 5) AA - AA is listed in the phonebook, you can give them a call and ask where the nearest meeting is. It may also be effective to google "Alcoholics Anonymous in (City in which you live, State in which you live)" 6) NA - link removed 7) SLAA - link removed 8) OA - link removed If You Have Loved Ones Who Suffer From Addiction: Generally there's nothing you can do to "make them get clean," they must have the desire on their own. Enabling them does not help either, you can learn much more about this by going to an Al-Anon meetings or a Nar-Anon meetings and talking with others who have loved ones dealing with addiction/alcoholism. 9) Al-Anon & Alateen - link removed 10) Do a google search for Nar-Anon (in your state or country) There are different groups for each area, but I do not think they are unified

Age is important. If your below 18 , then it would be irrisponsible , if you are above and you have seriously weighed off the risk to see if its worth it to give it all up and be with eachother for the rest of your lives. I would only do this in a scenario where both of you are dead serious about wanting to be with eachother. Its something you are unable to pursuade if you don't have the means. But what you cannot do is let the situation linger, either be together forever, or break it off for sanity's sake.

Expect your mom to be like a poisoness snake and bring more misery into the life of your sister,making her life like hell. I personally think you should protect her and contact her every day and talk her way thru this. That way she'll hopefully won't go down the drain and lose her sanity. Hopefully arrangement for her departure to her father can be made soon , and hopefully she can have a better life there. If things go wrong at both ends, could you support her?

Christmas was never made to torture you, its a time where we remember to bring love and light onto this earth. You know life sometimes throws you a curveball, this is why you have to plan your future in a flexible way. Although its good to bring your life into calmer waters adding stability to your life and lifestyle. You always have to be prepared for that hurricane ,wether it will hit your life you don't know, but its better to be prepared for the storm then be taken by surprise. That's the same reason why you should never go into a relationship expecting it to work out just because it concerns 'your case', reality is that a woman can pack her bags and leave any day. You can only control yourself, and you can't hold somebody into custody in a relationship, you can only love them, and try to do those things that will keep them wanting to be near and with you. Namely bringing love and happyness into eachothers lives. Im sorry your relationship with her didn't go that way in the way you wanted. You can only take the life lessons you learned from this into your next relationship. And try to prevent that such a thing will happen ever again.