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robowarrior

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Everything posted by robowarrior

  1. robowarrior
    Lets put it straight that female-male friendships don't exist. Unless the other is gay or lesbian, the fact is that nature will take its course and will make you interested in the opposite sex. That's why the idea of friendship will fail, now as towards your question concerns. Your friend doesn't own you, they may love you but aren't allowed to hold you hostage, you choose to be with whomever you want to be. Even if that angers them, they have no right to interfere with your personal choices in that way.
  2. robowarrior
    If you invest energy and become more extrovert, then you definitly can become better, if you dive into shyness, thats socially not the best place to be. To be honest , over the years most people get bad experiences which tend to shut them down in terms of relationships. Everyone expects the other partner to bring happyness into their lives, while in reality they are just together only to forfill their own selfish needs. Which leads to a lot of struggle and discomfort to say the least.
  3. robowarrior
    I would tell him to think for himself instead of letting his friends convince him of what he wants in life, say that he's only saying these things because mr.(x) talked him into it.
  4. robowarrior
    Tell her directly that talking about the ex's with you is a no no. If she promised that earlier on you can remind her about that.
  5. robowarrior
    Are you new to the on-line dating thing? Well i can assure you that on-line dating is rubbish. Why? Its for shy people and what the commonfolks of society would describe as losers. Why? Well if you have to use an on-line dating site, it means most people find you are either to ugly/fat/shy or other negative trait in real life. If your smoking hot , you wouldn't need to grab towards an on-line dating site, unless you are incredibly shy. Another big negative is LDR, the "oh i think you are so handsome, to bad you live 3 oceans and 20 000 miles away on some forgotton Robinson crusoe's island, otherwhise id pay you a visit" , honestly its better to get into contact with a real someone from within your inner circle instead of a virtual imposter.
  6. robowarrior
    Its not just Alex, your whole view on relationships is messed up. I mean are you with Alex to make his life miserable? Is he with you so you can yell all the time at him? Of course not! Couples are supposed to bring happyness into eachothers lives. If you two keep on spinning the wheel of hatred by arguing then the hate will never stop, you can only stop evil with love. So don't start arguments, and if they occur by the other , don't give an extra swing to that hate wheel by arguing back. Say to yourself ' to here and no further' and keep on loving your partner.Remember even small arguments act like poison to your relationship and can lead to BIG break ups. And often the argument isn't even worth it. Another thing. Don't create problems that aren't there. Don't expect to win him back, but apologizing would be the decent thing to do.
  7. robowarrior
    Sounds a bit that your unavailability makes it asif you are more of a challenge for them to get, if woman only make you miserable, then its a good thing to give them up. The whole chasing after girls , and all the relationship problems aren't worth it anyway.
  8. robowarrior
    He may call it immature, i call it a direct threat. Its simple tho, either you are his nr.1 in life, or she is. He should know better then to bring an ex gf , he could know it would cause trouble and embarrasment for you. My advice is: don't go. Even if that ends the relationship, i think its terrible that he doesn't take your feelings into account, and ask him vice versa if you would hang out with a lot of hot ex-bf's and invite them on your birthday party without him getting jealous? I think its absolutely rediculous, his ex should be a thing of the past , and friendships (unless they are lesbian or gay) between men and woman don't exist, nature takes its course, and they already had something in the past. Most distressing indeed if you ask me.
  9. robowarrior
    Fits definitly in the control freak description. What you basically did was ripping up an old wound, hence you got a repetition of the past thrown over you because of that. When you go into NC, you have to show spine all the way , if you come back on your decision it only makes you look weak, a person who does not stand by what they say = 0. You know , and that's so typical about a control freak, they don't understand that being in a relationship is about being together, but still letting eachother be able to do their own thing. Basically you where suffocating in all of it, and imagine that you indeed hooked up with a dangerous man, by calling,writing you are only making him think about you again, then you have effectivly put yourself into danger by letting him show that you still think about it, giving him the idea that its ' not over ' . And if he ever knocks on that door, you should tell him that a relationship is all about that. It might stir some improvement into his behaviour. Its a typical thing tho, oppressing your will onto others. Your ex didn't grasp the idea of free will, and into what context that places you in the relationship.That its not simply about use and abusing you like an object, but that its about being together,making eachother happy, and having a great time. Too bad he layered his love for you with fear tho. He was so afraid that you would go with another person that he wanted to be in full control over what you did ,which pushed you out of the relationship. So basically that he's cutting his wrists open for you does display that he loves you, but doesn't understand that you don't 'own' a person that you love. And with that you can't own a person who you love, you have to always take in account that that person can pick up their bags and leave. My advice: NC for as long as you live. And don't ask for closure since this case is closed.
  10. robowarrior
    How about a romantic dinner instead? just prepare everything in advance (also take in account possible change of plans so you won't have to throw everything away if he doesn't show up or gets delayed or if you get into trouble , what im saying is expect the unexpected) A casual dinner would just be strange ,especially on the second date, you'd expect more romance and getting to know eachother, plus a romantic dinner would give you the oppertunity to cook for him anyway.
  11. robowarrior
    Give him a date when the divorce will take place, you can see on his actions that because his bro has made him doubt, he is now also doubting you. What he needs and is searching for is security. Which so far you where more or less unable to give him, and don't blame yourself for it considering all the horrible things your going thru,hence the fact that you got children that you need to protect. So show him something tangible, bring divorce papers or something of such sort with you and convince him that , on this and that date that willl happen and that you insist on it and that thereforeeee you insist that you want to get in a steady relationship with him, just say what went wrong all these years, and that the ship has collided on the cliffs, you have stranded ,rescued yourself and now want to move on with your life by hopping aboard on the ride that he is offering to give on his ship.
  12. robowarrior
    The real meaning of life is to love and help others. When you get that uneasy feeling, it means that you are spiritually ready to proceed to the next level. And maby you would be interested in reading hands of light link removed from Barbara Ann Brennan, which learns you how to see your own aura, spiritual beings of light and how to expand your own horizon.
  13. robowarrior
    Facebook isn't the problem, its people that cheat that are the problem. The question remains, did she really cheat on you? For me its impossible to determine that, and im not sure if it where just on-line messages that you base that on, because on things like facebook people often leave messages like a i love you etc etc. But going from the point that you know for SURE that she cheated on you. Why did you take her back and helped her? Its important to show some spine. You know she didn't need help, it was just a way to get you back. There's a difference in helping, and letting people abuse your willingness to help. To me it sounds tho asif she is poison to your life(despite me not knowing wether she really cheated or not) and since you looked better when she was away, it personally states to me that this woman is no good for your life. At one hand im tending to say that if what you consider as cheating was something on-line with some person that she never had something with to give it another shot. And on the other hand im thinking if you take her back, you'll only give her the green light by showing her that its allowed to cheat on you. So i would base the decision on the gravity in how she cheated on you, because in the end you don't want to be with a liar.
  14. robowarrior
    Problem with ldr is that you can't check what the other person is doing, so you have no means of preventing that he goes with other girls, wether it be chatting ,dating etc. And then you come to the essensial of the story, namely ldr can only work out if the two people decided to come to live together forever for good. If you aren't together, you might as wel consider yourself separated. Thats why its usually adviceable to find a partner within your inner circle of reach. Im definitly not sure if you should go back with him, but if you go with someone make sure that you can make it a permanent stay in which you are together, instead of being separated by thousands of miles of land or ocean.
  15. robowarrior
    Well even better said , a relationship is about being together, but still letting eachother be able to do their own thing. As you said forces are at hand, but the essensial thing keeping it together is balance. There are facts that stabilize a relationship and facts that make a relationship tumble. What you have to do is to invest effort into bringing those elements of stability in your own life, so that the forces at hand are neutralized and turned into something fruitfull for both of you.
  16. robowarrior
    Basically i think its non-sense, if your going out with other girls, what is she still doing in your life? If you end it, you end it, if you move on, you move on, you however are moving back and forward, a trait i personally dislike because it will make you end up in a lightswitch relationship, on off on off on off, whats it going to be? Show some spine and be decisive in your actions,whatever they may be.
  17. robowarrior
    A relationship is all about being together, but still being able to do your own thing. You where wrong of expecting her to treat you fairly during her period of being sick. Mood alterations are normal during almost any kind of sickness, and especially with migraines, if someone keeps on nagging you and pissing you off by pushing you around, then your just asking for disaster. If she's having a difficult period its about her and not you. The strong carry the weak, its not that im saying you don't matter, im just saying that it wasn't a good period to press your complaints and issues on her. What you should have done was asking her what she wants,instead of pushing her into the direction you wanted her to go. Is a relationship all about what you want? Its a subtle process of giving and taking. You've closed yourself off, and refused to listen to her complaints while she was asking for breathing space. Imagine if you (honestly) have a splitting headacke, and here i come yelling in your ears. Its not really about being wrong or right, its more about the wrong time, and maby your timing on when you should adress issues is at fault.Its not always a good moment for everything, so be sure you are on the same frequency as her if you want to continue to have a decent conversation/relationship going.
  18. robowarrior
    oh god could have been my life and i know exactly where you coming from. As a child you don't 'get' a lot of things. Why do you have to goto school? Why is dad always aggressive, and even more why does he try to resolve everything with violence? School teachers seem to think children who are just born automatically know why they are here and what they are doing or going for in the future. But realistically a child is so young it has no concept of lets say what 20 years means or feels like. But what your dad concerns, the answer is that he had a trash youth himself. Probably had a bunch of bro's and sis, and never got any attention, with a grandpa who was always drunk, and a grandma always too busy with her mind on other things. Anyway if you are exposed to years of ' you can't do it, you will never achieve it' it definitly does effect you. And studies show that hitting only has negative impacts on children. Now going from there, you can learn some interesting life lessons. -Negativity leads to nowhere. I mean what was the end result of him being so negative, did it accomplish anything? Like any war in history, violence only ends up in being useless and putting you a few steps back rather then forward. So for example take your father, who stamps with negativity on everything. Ask yourself how can a seed grow if someone keeps on stomping with his feet on the soil? There's no chance for the poor plant to grow up and devellop when someone constantly bashes it back into the ground by stomping on it. Or for something to grow you need a positive environment. The seed needs a good owner who farms the plant with fertile soil, puts water on it, and gives it room to blossom. This is why your dad has never reached anything, because he didn't allow anything to grow in his life. I have been trying to make changes to my dad, to make him a more positive person. It helps if you have the same interest in something, and if he turns aggressive turning that same aggressiveness into a joke by saying something funny that is going to make him laugh.
  19. robowarrior
    Are couples supposed to make eachothers lives miserable? Of course not , they should bring love and light into eachothers lives. Arguments are like poison to the relationship, even small ones can lead to BIG break ups, as you have experienced. Basically its like this, if you don't have time for a relationship don't start one. You need to translate your positive thoughts into real life action. This so your thoughts are in balance with the real world. More precisely . Words without action = 0. You know its a one sided relationship, a good relationship is about giving and taking. Its an investment into eachother, if you just lay back and do nothing its not going to rejoice him, but it also states that you indeed weren't in love with him, otherwhise you might have made an effort to make him happy too.
  20. robowarrior
    Well basically the first woman is your emotional choice, and the second woman is your logical choice. It would be not fair to go with the last woman while your in love with the first. You definitly have to be honest to yourself and to these woman on what you feel towards them. Basically as long as the first woman is together in a relationship with that other woman, then you cannot intervene, its neither your right nor place to do so. So my choice would be that you'd go with neither woman, your not in love with the last, and the one that you are is unavailable. So basically its a no-go for either both of them.
  21. robowarrior
    She has to fight it out with her parents, she should say to her parents ' If you two are allowed to have a relationship together' why can't i have a relationship with ' fill your name in here' , then she should say' i don't want to make you two angry but you can't keep me imprisoned forever. If that doesn't set in some realisational sense in them, then she should flee from her parents home to you.
  22. robowarrior
    Well of course he'd be out looking for a girl who can act as a mother for his child. Its hard maby to be a single mother, but being a single dad isn't all that easy either, hence he might have had this mental disorder from a previous relationship, so he really needs the support. However that is reasoning from his point of view, from his point of view it would be very benefitial to have you in his life. From your point of view i would say, its not wise nor recommended to be involved with a guy who is mentally unstable. You see a person like that doesn't need a relationship, but a shrink/rehab/counceller in one world professional medical help , which you are unable to give him. From his childs point of view its different, the kid needs without doubt a mother. But you have your own free will of wether you want to participate in the relationship with him or not. So basically all the cards are against the guy with the mental disability and kid. The other guy has better cards, you can laugh with him you are compatible with him, and he has no children nor mental disorders. I feel sorry for the kid, but its not your fault that he got singled out ,and has a kid left to care for. Emotionally i would choose the first guy. Logically i would choose the last guy. If you where an only child with a mental father, then a stable mother in your life would be a very welcome event. Call it selfish if you like, but i see no reason why you would plunge yourself in possible disaster and unhappyness with the first guy, although it could also happen to the last guy, its the last guy i would choose because his cards are more favorable.
  23. robowarrior
    To a 2 year old? nope, as for when they grow older, its important that you spoil them every once and now so that they really get the idea that their parents care for them. But not up to the point that you spoil them too much, you see its vital for kids to understand that they have to earn what they receive in life, as money doesn't grow on trees and that they see the facts as they are, and that that doesn't always go as the way they want. But that's pretty much talk for when they are more mature and ready. At this moment i think your husband is a little ,not used to it all the affection and such, i hope he isn't jealous of the kid getting all the attention. So if he goes around that tour, just say something like ' all is well, i'll bake you a pie today' hmmm sure that will make him smile again.
  24. robowarrior
    Im just going to state the obvious, pack your bags and leave. Show him who's boss, YOU ARE boss over your own life. That's a good price for him to pay back due to his overcontrollive state up to the point that you are suffocating in the relationship. For me i see in you a bird who has escaped the cage. Fly away from him.
  25. robowarrior
    The answer: Take initiative! Life is what you make of it. Lonely? no action = no reaction, so if you don't want to be lonely you have step towards the people, its for you to understand that its an investment you have to make from your side. Same counts for jobs, if you get turned down for a job, heck its not strange you would get depressed, but winning or losing is not the point. What you have to understand is that persistance is the key to succes.Get turned down, who cares, because if your life (castle) gets reduced to ruins, then you can do two things, cry over the ruins, or rebuild. And only rebuilding is a positive move.
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