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About Me

Mod Notes

  1. I came accross this link and thought it was beautiful. There are some letters and poetry between Rupert Brooke, the famous poet, and Phyllis Gardner, the painter - and also an image of a self-portrait which captures her feelings for Brooke. link removed
  2. I've thought my husband has cheated before in our marriage.I knew I caught them in a compromising situation, but did not catch them in the act. They both lied about what had happened for 2 years. Then my husband contracted an STD. By lying I got my sister to tell the truth. My husband denied until he found out I had talked to my sister. He finally admitted it. His reason for lying was to save our marriage. How do you save a marriage where you know he cheated one but believes he's been cheating for years? I've been married for 13 years and can't imagine him not in my life. But I can't imagine ever trusting him again either. We're currently separated and I'm not sure what I should do. Please help.
  3. When I was young, my dad said a lot of because of me, he stayed in the marriage with my mom. He wasn't appreciated at all by her. He was not happy with my mum... Could that be called love or is it a cheating? Of course, he was dating with a woman when I was very young and my mother was very angry and they fought a lot on that but in the end, the marriage eventually stayed. I very much stood by my mom, but after many years, my auntie revealed that my mom once brought a man that she held hands with to visit my auntie. I feel my parents are in the end staying together for me, but I feel they both are cheaters.
  4. Hi So ya, to start with my mom found out that that my dad has an affair with another woman and they always meet. Almost every day actually. To be honest I am torn with respect toward my father and hatred. Now my father wanted to take that woman as a second wife ( my country allows polygamous relationship ). Of course, I hate that woman and to make it worst, she went to my house and bang on the door this morning because my mom won't let my dad take his phone or take a step outside without her this last few days. I mean how shameless can she be. My maternal grandma said that mom should go back to her house if dad decided to take that woman. Jokes on you, I hate that woman so much. You see my father was one of the biggest shareholder in a company and that mean he has this tons of authorities in this company. My mom found out that my dad is trying to take that woman as one of the staff there. So my mom went to see the company CEO and well at that time she could not control her anger. You know what my dad did? She scold my mom. That woman also blame my mother's friend for telling her about their affair. I mean she goes around with my dad calling her honey and stuff. They even met each respective family to get blessings and she goes around telling everyone my dad is her boyfriend and they are waiting for my mother approval. Are my mom a jokes to you? It broke my heart to see my dad acting like nothing ever happen and mom keep on crying. You see my mom is a housewife. She said that she become a housewife when my dad coaxed her to take care of the children. If not for dad, she will have a brighter life. After she married my dad she got an offer in one of the biggest company in my country, but she turned it down because she said that she does not want a long distance relationship, later she fell into depression then she got better, then she got a job somewhere closer and later she quit to become a housewife. I am the eldest out of 5 siblings and I am a first year in college with full parents support. So I could not do anything except for the mental support to mum. I am still living with her. Mom said that she is trying to hold herself and ask me to study and get good job, so she can be at ease. My mom is well she is crying almost every day and she only slept for a few hours last night. I am thinking of getting a job, but I know mom and dad will object. I just cant focus and my younger siblings does not know anything. It pain me seeing them and mom. Well I am venting here since I'll stay anonymous here. My mom only told me, her parents and some of the close friends. I will take any advice on what can I do now. Thank you.,
  5. It’s 3AM, and here I am almost 2 years later to the day.... Sitting alone on this lonely beach. The same beach where we went out on our third date, where we had a picnic, drank some wine, and ran through the water together like two kids in love, like something out of a cheap romance novel. This is same beach where I began to fall in love with you. Where we began our journey together. I’m sitting here like we once did, but it's not the same as before... It's so lonely, desolate and quiet, not like it once was. The waves, they're taunting me, like they know. The beach is so cold and oh so unwelcoming. I sit here thinking, afraid to go home. Afraid to go back to sleep. Afraid to wake up. Sitting here, asking the same questions over and over. Questions that I don’t have the answers to, questions I may never have the answers to. I know I’m just tormenting and exhausting myself by running through my head over and over, trying to figure it all out. But I can’t help it. Should I try to move on? I can’t, I don’t want to...I don't want to fade away. I know soon I will head home, back to my now empty bed. I’ll go and smoke one more cig before I finally lay down, trying to sleep. And I know as I lay motionless, I’ll just dream and prey for you to come through that door like you use to, and you’ll come lay down next to me, tell me you love me and missed me. I’ll wrap my arms around you, holding you tight and kissing you and we'll fall asleep like old and I’ll finally wake up, wake up from this nightmare like nothing ever happened. I’ll dream and prey, knowing it won’t happen. I keep on telling myself one more day, I wish I had one more day or one more hour or one more minute with you. Just one more minute of looking at you or one more embrace or one more kiss or just one more moment feeling your presence. I know that's not true though. One more will never be enough with you. I don't remember being so selfishly happy as I was when I was with you. It knocks the wind out of me how in just days of being with you could suddenly make the world without you be so unfamiliar. Everything is exactly the same as it once was before you. Same bed, same route, same people, same work but somehow it's different. “They” keep telling me to pick myself up, each day will get easier. Just go out and keep busy, and even to just go get laid. I keep busy but the moments when I am alone it all comes flooding back like the unwelcoming waves on this ocean beach. And how can I go out and get laid. It feels like I’m cheating on you, cheating myself. It won’t help. Trying to fill that huge empty void with meaningless sex isn’t going to do it. Nothing can do it but maybe time itself. And maybe they’re right, maybe each day may get easier. Maybe the day will finally come when I'll wake up and I won't look over to see if you're there, one day I'll wake up and I won’t think it was all a bad dream, one day the tears will stop flowing from my eyes, one day I will stop hurting, one day I won’t wake up and feel the anger over everything that has transpired. And maybe one day I will be learn how to love someone else and let myself go again but I also know I'll never love anyone as much as I did love you. I feel like destiny is laughing in my face, like our story got cut short. Maybe it didn't, maybe fate brought us together, only to rip us apart. But it feels like it, there's so many things I had planned, so many things I wanted to do, so many questions I had, so much I wanted to tell you, so much I wanted to experience with you. Maybe fate will bring us back together one day….or maybe in 2 days or 2 weeks or 2 months or 2 years or even 2 decades. .. Maybe the day will come. It'll be like we never left. We’ll come back to this same beach, and we’ll run around through the sand like the kids we once were. In the meantime, I’ll just try to keep pushing myself and keep busy. Try to push myself further and further, harder and harder. Try to find out what I am made of. Try to stay strong, but also vulnerable because I have to be. I have accepted what has happened and grow. Just keep my mind free, grow and experience who I am and what this life, my life, is all about. You know, for that hour to two hours when play basketball or football, I focus on myself and lose myself. For that hour to two hours I am fully excused for not caring about anything else in the world but my own body. Just to focus on my breathing. Just putting one foot in front of the other. Focus on running, making the shot, jumping up and grabbing the rebound. It gives me an excuse to yell, to curse, to push, and even to even cry. It gives me that excuse I need to live. I’ll keep strong. I’ve learned a lot about myself and what I need to do and what changes I need to make. I figure that this is the life I need to re-adjust to. I just need to find the energy, the appetite, and the patience. No matter how strange it feels, I need to find my courage to live this life again. I will keep on missing you, I am sure of that. I am longing for you so bad it pierces my skin and shatters what's left of this heart. Maybe I will just remind myself to breathe in and breathe out as steadily as possible and wait for the day until it comes naturally again. It is hard though...to go back and leave that place. I miss all the trivial things about you…like the lines of your tattoo, the way you fall asleep with her head on my stomach, the way you snore and take up the entire bed, you little mannerisms. Of course I miss the much bigger things as well. And I do love you; I do love you with all my heart like I always have. I do await the day we may be together again like we never left. My love for you will last a lifetime my love. But for now, it's time to head back to that same car, take that long empty drive back home, make my way back to the same home, take that one last smoke and make my way back to the same, now empty bed so I can lay my head down and dream. Where I may finally sleep. Where I may begin to finally wake up. This beach will always wait for us my love.
  6. There is so much pain And so many tears As I recall the horrible memories Of my teenage years I was only 15 You stole all that I had My innocence, my virginity Do you even feel bad? I thought it was my fault You called it an affair You knew you were hurting me Do you even care? All the memories They hurt so much The nights I had to endure Your perverted and unnatural touch I put on a smile To mask all the pain Through all of my suffering What did you gain? I feel all alone In this world of sin But I'll never tell So I guess you win
  7. Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. thereforeeee be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
  8. We, human beings are born on earth, under the same sky, under the same sunlight and moonbeam, Why do we have different destinies! Children of the poor have no money to buy books and go to school, Children of the rich go to study abroad. Those with dollars are winners and those with empty stomachs are losers. Court clerks and judges swindle. Where is Justice! Anarchic society with dictatorship, injustice, market dwellers, gambling, nepotism and gangsters, No respect for law, fighting, killing each other, causing misery and suffering. How long will I survive! Dirty society, bribery and dollars rule; cheating people out of property, people cry out. The bad ones enjoy beautiful villas while powerful figures sit down, cross legged and relaxed! No compassion, no sentiment, farmers with no land, peasants with no crops like off-season flowers. While peasants’ hands are picking fish paste , powerful figures gamble big hands in casinos. How long will I survive! A poem by Mam Sonando
  9. This is the story of a girl who makes a mistake. The girl meets a boy who she deeply loves, and the boy loves her just the same. But she is new to the world of love and does not know how to keep it. The boy knows this, for he is nearly a man, and has been through the mistakes it takes to learn how to keep that love. He knows that this knowledge is not something that can be told and learned, but must be felt and learned. So he sits back and he waits. This boy enjoys his time with the girl, doing everything he can to build the relationship. He is successful as the girl feels better than she ever has. But one day the girl has a doubt, she starts to build a picture in her head that things could be better, that she can find someone better, or do whatever she wants with whoever she wants and have no consequence. She feels like there is no limit to the high so she plays with temptation. She soon cheats on the boy, and as the boy had been prepared to do he leaves her. The girl feels fine at first, but as the days pass she realizes how bad it really is. She remembers the joy she felt, and decides to try and get back the boy with the promise that she will never hurt that boy again. She goes to the boy and pleads with him to take her back, she tells him that her days of hurting him will never happen again. The boy still loves her, and he believes that she is sincere in her words. But the boy knows that there is a difference between believing what you say and meaning what you say. The boy does not take the girl back, for he is certain that the girl does not know the truth behind her words. The boy leaves, and never again does she hurt him, never again does she try to hurt anyone for that matter. So the story goes of the boy and the girl who fell in love, but never made it. The years go by and the girl after being true and honest for many years finally finds someone who makes her feel as good, if not a little better than the boy did. The boy does the same, as he was sure he would. One day the boy and the girl meet each other at random in a coffee shop. They talk for a moment, and give each other a look of sadness, for they know that something good was broken, and can never be gotten back. The days and the nights fill their life with joy, and although the girl is saddened by what she went through, she knew that the boy had acted in the most loving way possible, and made her become the woman she is today. END: Because you Because these things in life are so important. Sometimes learning is so important. Because you decide why you do it. Others do not decide for you. So the story goes
  10. I don't know what to do...yesterday I called my mom and could tell something was wrong with her, she was reluctant to tell me at first but I eventually got her to open up. It turns out that she is suspicious that my Dad is cheating on her with one of her "friends." They have been married 26 years, my Mom is 46, my dad is 47. My little brother plays baseball on her son's team and all the families and kids on this team have sort of grown up together (they go on Vacations etc together, but her friend has not been on these with them). This lady, we'll call her Laura, is single, has a husband who left her several years ago, was having problems with her oldest son and my Mom helped her in every way possible. She even sent the B**** a valentine's flowers to her work last year, because she knew that V-day was hard on her when all of her co-workers were receiving flowers etc. Pretty much, my mom has gone above and beyond to make this lady welcome and feel part of the baseball group. She sometimes needs handy man work done around her house and some of the husbands would go help her out, because they felt sorry for her. My Mom never thought ANYTHING of this, nor did any of the other wives consider that this lady would ever backstab them in such a way. Well, it was brought to my Mom's attention from her best friend and her best friends husband, that Laura was flirting with my Dad, and it was getting worse, somewhat suspicious. At one of the baseball games, she went and stood next to my dad, away from all the other women and talked to him the whole time. They also said that they saw Laura leaning over on my Dad's leg and stuff another time when everyone was sitting on the bleachers. These friends of my mom are NOT the kind of people to start rumors, and are petrified of my Dad finding out they are the ones who told my mom about this, but they thought she needed to be cautious, b/c they were having a gut instinct something wasn't right, my mom, unbeknownst to them had been having the same questions...it just makes me sick! Well my mother couldn't handle it anymore and confronted my Dad about it this morning, she lied and said she knows that something has been going on, and if he confesses that she can work through it, or she will let him go be with Laura, if that's what they want. She just needed to know the truth. She begged him to tell her if it was just a fling or if he loved her. He replied saying "i love you, i love you" and began crying, but he didn't really deny anything wholeheartedly like one would expect if nothing was going on. My dad was on his way to work when she was talking to him about this, and he had to go to a meeting he claimed, but he would come home right after. Well my mom went to Laura's house, and confronted her, which she of course denied it. She acted incredibly innocent acting like my mom was getting her in the middle of stuff etc. My mom begged her, and said she would not be mad, told her she loved her, but if anything had been going on PLEASE just say. Well low and behold Laura's phone rang, and it was my Dad. She answered and said "yes, she's sitting right here" which I think was a hint to him, b/c my mom never told him she was going over there to confront Laura. My dad then talked to my mom and said he thought he had called our house (which is a load of BS...horrible lie). My mom left, but kept her composure the whole time. The thing is, my dad is a fireman and is often gone overnights so it would be easy for him to see her when her kids arent around. The most distressing thing to my mom is that if he is cheating with this B-that my little brother will be incredibly messed up. He thinks of my dad as his hero, and can be very very sensitive, especially if he finds out his dad was cheating with one of his best friends moms! She is extremely torn up about this. My dad said he would be right home after work to talk about it, wouldn't admit to anything but wouldn't exactly deny it either. I'm sure he and Laura have exchanged stories to get on the same page, b/c she knows this will ruin her reputation in the church, as well as with all her friends. I'm trying to help my mom,, but she is incredibly embarrassed about all this, and hasn't told anyone b/c if it's not true, she doesn't want my brother to get word of it. I'm not exactly sure what all my dad and this woman have done, but I'm sure that their relationship isn't apropriate. My mom is very trustworthy, she believes that if she tells them to please just tell her the truth and she won't go crazy, that they would tell her the truth. She is naive in a lot of aspects and I HATE him for doing this to her and my brother. I don't really know what advice I'm seeking but it's killing me. I want to call this woman and chew her * * * out for doing this to my family and especially my mother. She will have ruined our lives, and I hate her for this.
  11. Hi all, thanks for taking the time to read this! I just got home from class and stuff, and jumped on the computer to check my email, and without realizing it, ended up in my fiancee's inbox. Before I realized my mistake, I noticed he had some pics sent to him from a phone number I didn't know...they were of a random girl showing the camera her boobs. So I *67 and call the number, it goes into voicemail, but it was definitely HIS voice. I didn't leave a message, but went back to the inbox and there was a confirmation email for a website called affairfinder or something like that. We've been dating over a year, and an incident somewhat like this has cropped up in the past. We just got engaged earlier this month, and I really don't know what to think. It doesn't help that he's bi-polar, and unmedicated. Or that he's a truck driver and is gone all week for work. I've noticed that things have been a little off between us lately, and I wasn't too sure why. I don't know how to confront him about this either, except that it should be face to face, but I don't know how to bring it up. He's also a fairly decent liar...except when he's drunk, supposedly. Another odd thing--every time we get in a major fight (which granted, isn't that often) he always tries to break things off. We always promised each other that if either of us wanted to cheat, we'd just tell the other and break it off. We've both been cheated on before...or at least, I have. This just kinda makes me question everything...and I'm so freaked out, I don't know what to do... Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
  12. I dont understand it, im a outgoing, fun, friendly girl who is nice and hasnt done anything nasty in all her life always gets treated like crap and is always the in between girl when it comes to guy? Now im fed up and im really starting to hate every man on this planet regardless of whether or not they are nice. Every guy i have ever been out with has always cheated on me lied to me or beated me up and then after they dump me they find "the one" and they are always treated better than i am. I have always tried to be myself round guys i dont try to be too blonde and i try to get involved with as much things a possible with or with out the guy im seeing at the time what do i do
  13. I hit a big bump on the road to recovery. I called my ex's mother today to let her know I need to call my ex to cancel her cell phone. I called because her parents did not want me to seem weak and call her. They are my side of the break-up and are very disappointed in their daughter. We were together for 4 years. She cheated on me last April and never forgave herself. She started having an affair with a coworker a few months later, and eventually forced me to break up with her. Their affair did not become physical until after I broke up with her, but we only stopped trying to fix things 15 days ago. I have not talked to her since. Her mother knows better than to tell me what her daughter has been up to, but started spilling everything. My ex asked her parents if she could bring her new boyfriend over to meet the family. SHE HASN'T EVEN TOLD THEM WE BROKE UP YET! When they said no, it is too soon. She told them she was MOVING OUT. She also bought a laptop this week, and she is already super in debt. It seems as though she is continuing her self-destructive behavior. She is trying everything to make herself happy, except addressing the problem which is not being happy with herself. She also is looking for a new job. I still need to call her tonight, but don't know if I should say anything. I know she isn't my problem. Should I just be upbeat and positive? Sound happy, like I have been or should I try to help her. I do still love her and hate to see her hurting herself and her family. Please give me some advice........
  14. hiya I have been with my bf for 4 months. I was previously in an abusive relationship where i was cheated on repeatedly and my current bf was dumped for someone else. Now this means we both have trust issues. Basically he doesn't trust me when i go out without him because i get alot of male attention and he thinks he's ugly and "not good enough" for me. I find it hard to trust him when i see him with his female friends. He has been friends with them for years and is naturally a very friendly guy who is popular with everyone. He is always respectful to me, keeps his word, offers his understanding etc. I once told him i had glimpsed some photos of girls on his phone and he was insistent that he showed me and they turned out to be just commercial pics of models. He seemed really shocked that my ex cheated on me and before he found that out had told each other we'd never cheat emotionally or physically as long as we are together. How do we go about trusting each other more when we are scared of getting hurt? And why is he so flirty/friendly with his female friends (not infront of me, but from photos ive seen, which once he showed me either because he didn't realise it might look bad or because he wanted to test if i reacted to see if i do actually like him)?
  15. Ahhhh...the strange thing is i ask....why do millions of the most intelligent beautiful sexy woman from all over the world out there fall for jerks that abuse us verbally, emotionaly and physically? What happens to reasoning? what happens to our judge of character? Do we like punishing ourselves in these destructive relationships?! we go around acting and looking like complete fools b/c we tolerate all the bullS he says and does! It makes me so angry!!!!!!! How can we sit there asking stupid questions like,"he cheated on me once, will he do it again!" He says he'll never do it again, should i trust him, he did it to me three times already should i trust him this time?" or " He hits me all the time calls me bad names, should i leave?" or "im scared to leave because i still love him" Im just like these woman, stuck in a rut and getting deeper and deeper in frustration!!! Its insane!!!!!!!!! obviously these men are !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do we not value ourselves? What i want know from you guys is why do you settle 4 someone's BS? why do we let them take a piss on us? what is wrong with me? why cant i just pack my s*** and leave? Why cant YOU? ](*,)
  16. The girls oh how they hated her, The boys they used to stare. The guys would state such beauty, While the girls spread lies unfair. Why was she so pretty, The girls they used to cry, How was anyone to know, It was a simple disguise. Her father how he left her, Her mother oh she found me. This poor young girl left all alone, Nothing could set her free. Then you did come along, You held her by the hand, Led her to her wonderland, Just to show her sinking sand. Oh boy you shattered her broken heart, Blackness now her only art. Once so pretty, Now so frail, Day to night, She lives only for the numbers upon that scale. Now listen hard you wonderland boys, Never steal a heart or soul, Never take away a life, Don't break that perfect promise, And think there shall be no strife. Girls they so fall hard and fast, Hope everything will last, So boy please understand, Its more then just a heart at hand. I know this is alot to bare, And you may never really care, But i say this with such honesty, Not to cause controversy. Each little affair you wish to have, Your own business it may be, Just i have seen what it can do, Just thought that you should see it to.
  17. The walls of the prison stand tall and firm They surround me now and close me in As my sentence is handed down to me My head hung low, it now begins To be so lost and so alone, it makes me numb right to the bone I can't change a thing, theirs nothing I can do But to live in pain, all my life through I never knew love the way it was meant to be Now the sky turns dark, I cannot see The pain is a reminder of who I once was Adn justice has been handed down from above My body is weak and this life of mine now fades I will always be looked at as an outcast A liar, cheat and now a slave My Body smells fowl from an ugly past As people avoid me and talk behind my back My wife, My boss my family my friends Wouldn't ever care if my life came to en end This is what I leave behind, the emptiness is all that you'll find Gary
  18. Things about me.. I am 23 years old. I live in the US. and I am insecure with in myself. I recently got out of a "strange relationship" to say the least. My ex and I were together for about 2 years. And it was off and on. When we broke up in November of last year. I cried my eyes out. Was 1000% sure he was the one I wanted for the rest of my life. But as of right now, I am not so sure. About two weeks ago, I was out with friends, and drinking. Rather than drinking and driving a friend took me by a resturant to get some food. He and I were out until about 4:30 am. And things ended up happening. Regardless, this wasnt right. And honestly I feel kinda bad. Well anyways fast forward to Sunday night. My sister and I, joined my friend from the night before, and his friend, went out to dinner. And started giving me heck aaout my ex. Well I was tired and annoyed. And already ticked off, about what the ex and I were fighting about a few days before. I do feel bad for cheating, but it made me realize, right now I dont need to be with him. I am not sure if I still love the ex, or if I ever was in love with him. I miss him when I look at pictures, and when I think about the good times we had. He didnt deserve to be cheated on, and I shouldnt have done that. He over all treated me fairly. But like we both agreed on, we were just comfortable, and in some cases it was good. but in our case it was just hurting us more. I hope he finds happiness in his life, and all his dreams come true. I however feel that I have alot to accomplish as far as my life goes. I need to get into college, and support myself 100% and move forward. I am not speaking up getting married and having kids. I am no where near ready for that. I need to get a degree first, and be financially stable in my life, before I should commit to anyone. I do however want to "date" the old friend. We dated when I was 19 and he was 27. To back up I saw him again last night. Him and I ended up sleeping together, and having a fun time. Now casual sex, I believe is something I should stay away from. Especially if I want a future with this guy 6-9 months down the road. I feel at 23 I am not mature enough nor willing enough to give up my freedom to another person again. (BE IN A RELARIONSHIP) now this doesnt speak of sleeping around with guys, or playing with another's emotions. I at this moment in time, have my best friend ex husband interested in dating me. I havent told him no yet. Which I should, but to be frank I like the attention. Because I havent had that attention in so long. But I am going to have a talk with him this weekend, and just tell him its way to werid for me. And for those who are wondering, I have told my best friend of the situation, and she told me to go ahead with it. I for one could not hide something from her. If I were a lesbian her and I would be the perfect couple Now life as I know should be fun and interesting over the next year or so. Of re-discovering myself, and trying not to do it at the expense of others. I know in some of the above statements, I sound like a heartless witch, for cheating on my ex. Which you know if it were someone else I would probably say the same thing about. So I am in the wrong for doing it. BUt I believe all things happen for a reason. I believe that him and I if meant to be together it would later on in life. I however, have to get back to work for now. BUt will write more later. Thanks for reading, and please leave comments good or bad....
  19. I was with this girl for 2 years. I am a very level headed person and I never yelled at her and I never cheated or even came close to cheating, so she never really had a reason to hate me. I was controlling though, so part of me understands why she broke up with me because you can't control a high school girl. She got all caught up in her senior year and didn't realize how dumb most of the high school crap is. Okay, so she broke up with me, and I asked her what I did wrong and she said nothing. I found out 3 days later that she was with someone else. I emberassed myself the first couple days by showing up at her house and work and making big mistakes, but I never yelled at her. Finally, I initiated no contact. After 2 weeks I got a friend request from her on myspace. I didn't accept it. Eventually she sent me a text message saying "hi" I replied and she asked me how I was and I said good and that was that. I was talking to her friend on myspace and she asked me why me and my ex were texting each other. I told her I dont know, but at least she isn't threatening to call the cops on me anymore (yeah, I wouldn't stop texting her so she threatened to call the cops). Then I get a text message a couple days later from my ex saying, "No I don't want to call the cops on you anymore lol". I didn't respond. Then all of a sudden, AT 3 in the morning, I get a phone call. It was from some guy I didn't even know, and this guy called me to tell me that he doesn't like guys who treat girls like {Mod Edit} and that my ex was drunk and hooked up with somebody. I just told him that I was going back to bed and I hung up. Now, my ex is with somebody else so why would I be getting a call like this? I haven't heard from her since (less than a week), but I'm just confused why she would be tellling people that I treated her like {Mod Edit} when she knows I didn't. And why did she even bother to make somebody call me when she has a boyfriend?
  20. My girl's friends are all really materialistic and shallow. They all expect guys to be rich and sacrifice their lives for their girl, and these girls all cheat on their boyfriends and collect as many guys as they can. My girl isn't like this. But... does it mean something that *all* of her hang out friends (5-6 girls) are of this same sort?
  21. So. My boyfriend is crazy. In his previous relationships, his girlfriends lied to him and cheated on him. I thought this wouldnt be a problem between us, right? Wrong. He told me he trusted me and was willing to make our relationship work, but inside of his mind apparently he was living the opposite. A few weeks ago, we were on the phone, and i got off to take a shower. Instead of calling him back when i got out of the shower, i just went to sleep. I was woken up at 4 am that morning [ON A SCHOOL NIGHT] by my father, looking for me. My boyfriend called my phone 47 times, left 23 text messages and filled up my voicemail inbox with psycho messages ranging from "im worried" to " * * * ARE YOU DOING I KNOW YOU ARE CHEATING ON ME" type messages. sooooooo we talked about it and i thought it was over, but just today he calls me, yelling saying that he just seen me driving past his job with a guy in my car. Im at home chasing my cat out of the office. I call him from the house number and he STILL DOESNT BELIEVE ME. [this happens twice a week every week, just different scenarios. i go downstairs to watch a dvd, i go to a friends house just to sit around and talk... i talk to my little brother, and somehow im cheating on him.] i broke up with him today but hes making me feel terrible, like i gave up on him. he says im selfish because i said "id rather be alone and happy than with you and going crazy" your opinions please?
  22. Hi guys, another newbie here! I enjoy reading these forums but had to post this question as it is eating away at me, having become close with a group of 20 year old girls, and I need your opinions on it! What's your views regarding men and women and their attitudes/instincts towards sex, promiscuity and cheating? The reason I ask is that I have a male friend who is absolutely convinced that women are exactly the same as men when it comes to the likelyhood that they will cheat on a man, are just the same when it comes to wanting sex with as many different partners as possible and that girls in general in cannot be trusted. I dont agree with him! Now dont get me wrong, I am no prude and yes this is 2007 when a woman is entitled to as much sex with as many people as she wishes, but my belief is that the old instincts that have driven men and women are exactly the same as they have always been, ie men have a natural predatorial instinct to have sex with as many women as possible, even when in a good relationship..whereas women have a much stronger natural instinct to be loyal and committed to one partner. Sure, a girl (especially a young girl) will like to experiment sexually and have as much wild, filthy, passionate sex as possible but to them it is fine if that sex comes with simply one man. A bloke however likes all of that...and then wants to do it with ten other women too! Am I right or am I simply being naive? Also, whats your views on women having sex with a multitude of different partners in the same manner as a man does? Do you regard these girls as * * * * * */sluts or is it a case of women finally being allowed to express themselves fully as a sexual being? If you met a 20 year girl and she told you she had already had 20 different partners would you be alarmed or impressed or neutral? My view is that a girl, in theory, is entitled to have sex with as many men as she wishes but in practice there has to be a line where she keeps her self respect whilst still having a damn good time! I have recently met 20 year olds who have had these amounts of partners and it does seem to be increasingly the norm these days. Now I have to admit to being slightly fazed by this but I guess I have more difficulty with my friend's belief that women have no more loyalty these days than men when it comes to sex and relationships. If that is truly the case then I think society could suffer meltdown within a few generations as no-one will trust each other, family values will evaporate and the human race will wipe itself out! Waddya reckon guys? And it would be interesting to get some girls views on this too!
  23. hello, I started seeing thia guy and we actually were living together for a short time. We got into a major fight one night. One of my friends told me that he cheated on me. I got really pissed off and I punched him in the nuts. I told him to take all his stuff and move out. He moved out and later I found out that he didn't cheat on me at all. That my friend was lying because she likes him and wanted to break us up. He says that it's not over between just that he needs a break from now. my question is 1. Can he get over the fact that i punched him? 2. Can a guy forgive me for kicking him out?
  24. I've been dating this girl for a little over a month, not long at all. I like her a lot as well. The thing is she weirds me out a lot with situations and conflicts that seem to arise out of nowhere. Right now she lives about an hour away from my house so we don't see each other day. But on the weekends she comes and stays with me. We always have fun and enjoy ourselves. However during the week I always get messages from her saying how confused she is about our relationship and whether or not she wants to be committed. And just today she admitted that she is afraid she will cheat on me. She hasnt, but she thinks she will. How am I suppose to even take that? I literally just didn't know what to say. I wasn't mad, just weirded out. This happens every week, the her wanting to break up thing. I don't know what to do anymore. Either break up with her or tell her to just relax. I don't know. I'm just confused in general.
  25. I don't know I'm trying really hard to be happy and focus on living life but it's sooo hard. It just seemed like for the past 5 months I've had seriously bad luck and it just seems to get worse and worse and I'm seriously spiraling into a deep depression. I still can't get over the way my ex treated me and it's been 3 months. I had deep feelings for him and he made me believe he loved me.He did nothing but verbally abuse me and cheat on me! I however don't have feelings for him anymore but he really just messed my self esteem up by cheating on me. I had became so distraught that I had harassed him by constantly calling his phone(to make him angry) which led him to calling the cops on me. They did nothing but gave me a warning saying that I should not have anymore contact with him which is fine and I respected that. See he was the only one that made me feel special and it was all a lie, he makes me feel like such a fool. It hurts badly to think someone actually loved you when they couldn't give a crap about you. That really perplexes me how someone could be so selfish and leave my heartbroken like this. Now I'm left alone and confused.. Another point is I've lost my job a month ago and now I'm desperately trying to find another one and at the same time trying to get into school which will start in the summer for me. So now all I can do is lay around in the house most of the time sulking until a new job come up hopefully. Im also saddened because I lost my bestfriend a week ago over a stupid fight.I found out that she was backstabbing and two faced and I want nothing to do with her anymore. 7 years of friendship down the drain. All of the events have seriously spiraled me into a depression so deep. I have no motivation for anything anymore, I'm so tired of everything and I have no one now. All of the so called friends I got are superficial, they're only my friends because of what they percieve me as. They only call when they need me for something and I'm so much more than that. I can honestly say that I have no friends at all which is sad. Now I'm trying to figure out how everything could go so wrong and now it's like everyone moved on and left me in the dust. I just want things back the way they used to be months ago. I want the boyfriend who was caring, not the one that was the jerk.I want my friends back & my job but life is all about change I suppose and I don't like it at all. I have been having severe headaches and last night was the worse. I was very lonely last night and I started crying uncontrollably to the point that I made myself sick. I hardly got any sleep last night at all. I just laid in bed thinking about the past. Today I'm feeling very weak and it's almost like I'm in a trance state. I think I'm just going to lay in bed again today. I mean I don't get what I'm supposed to do anymore to be happy. I really don't feel like leaving the house and at the same time I don't wanna be here either, I know that sounds crazy. 2007.... What a year for me to start off Please if you also don't have anything positive to say, please I don't wanna here it today.. I'm really not in the mood for it.
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