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About Me

Mod Notes

  1. When I was young, my dad said a lot of because of me, he stayed in the marriage with my mom. He wasn't appreciated at all by her. He was not happy with my mum... Could that be called love or is it a cheating? Of course, he was dating with a woman when I was very young and my mother was very angry and they fought a lot on that but in the end, the marriage eventually stayed. I very much stood by my mom, but after many years, my auntie revealed that my mom once brought a man that she held hands with to visit my auntie. I feel my parents are in the end staying together for me, but I feel they both are cheaters.
  2. Hi So ya, to start with my mom found out that that my dad has an affair with another woman and they always meet. Almost every day actually. To be honest I am torn with respect toward my father and hatred. Now my father wanted to take that woman as a second wife ( my country allows polygamous relationship ). Of course, I hate that woman and to make it worst, she went to my house and bang on the door this morning because my mom won't let my dad take his phone or take a step outside without her this last few days. I mean how shameless can she be. My maternal grandma said that mom should go back to her house if dad decided to take that woman. Jokes on you, I hate that woman so much. You see my father was one of the biggest shareholder in a company and that mean he has this tons of authorities in this company. My mom found out that my dad is trying to take that woman as one of the staff there. So my mom went to see the company CEO and well at that time she could not control her anger. You know what my dad did? She scold my mom. That woman also blame my mother's friend for telling her about their affair. I mean she goes around with my dad calling her honey and stuff. They even met each respective family to get blessings and she goes around telling everyone my dad is her boyfriend and they are waiting for my mother approval. Are my mom a jokes to you? It broke my heart to see my dad acting like nothing ever happen and mom keep on crying. You see my mom is a housewife. She said that she become a housewife when my dad coaxed her to take care of the children. If not for dad, she will have a brighter life. After she married my dad she got an offer in one of the biggest company in my country, but she turned it down because she said that she does not want a long distance relationship, later she fell into depression then she got better, then she got a job somewhere closer and later she quit to become a housewife. I am the eldest out of 5 siblings and I am a first year in college with full parents support. So I could not do anything except for the mental support to mum. I am still living with her. Mom said that she is trying to hold herself and ask me to study and get good job, so she can be at ease. My mom is well she is crying almost every day and she only slept for a few hours last night. I am thinking of getting a job, but I know mom and dad will object. I just cant focus and my younger siblings does not know anything. It pain me seeing them and mom. Well I am venting here since I'll stay anonymous here. My mom only told me, her parents and some of the close friends. I will take any advice on what can I do now. Thank you.,
  3. I've thought my husband has cheated before in our marriage.I knew I caught them in a compromising situation, but did not catch them in the act. They both lied about what had happened for 2 years. Then my husband contracted an STD. By lying I got my sister to tell the truth. My husband denied until he found out I had talked to my sister. He finally admitted it. His reason for lying was to save our marriage. How do you save a marriage where you know he cheated one but believes he's been cheating for years? I've been married for 13 years and can't imagine him not in my life. But I can't imagine ever trusting him again either. We're currently separated and I'm not sure what I should do. Please help.
  4. Okay, so this guy said that i "played" him...I understand now what that means. (I have cheated on him or have other guys than him) However, this is not the case. This guy and I aren't even a couple but we do have feelings for eachother that we both have expressed. I am just wondering why he would say something like that? I have a lot of older guy FIRENDS but they are just FRIENDS. How can say that I am "playing" him? What should I do? We have been talking for about six months and we both are pretty comfortable around eachother. We act like a couple all the time and we have even talked about it. Sorry guys I am just really confused..how can he go off and tell his friends I am a "player" and what should I do? Help!
  5. What is the best way to avoid cheating on your spouse / partner?
  6. So I have never really been the jealous type, but recently I notice I have been having issues. I cheated on my husband (never actually having sex, but its still considered cheating) now everytime he leaves I think he could be going to see another woman. It's like I expect him to pay me back for what I did. I don't think he knows about this, but what can I do to stop? I know that if I keep thinking like this its going to push me further and further away from him. Any advice will be helpful. Thanks in advance.....
  7. This is a crazy situation by I need to vent. My ex girlfriend was a very loving, caring, hard working woman and we planned our future together and I was going to propose to her MAY 05, but July 20, 2004, 2 days after we celebrated our 4 year anniversary we decided that we would step back so that she could get herself together and bring as much to the table as I was. Well the next day she was picked up by someone from my past that had disrespected me, like my girl and who my girl was attracted to. This person was someone that I was in a relationship for a year,but it didn't work and I broke up with her. It hurt me to know that all the time that I was trying to compromise as far as them being friends that my girl of 4 years probably was cheating on me. I found out after the break up that they were talking on the phone all day and at odd times of morning. My ex of four yrs has been spending the night, taking trips and having sex with her and I told her that there is no way that we will ever get back together b/c she played me w/ someone that I had been with. I have moved out and am buying a house and I have progressed in my career, I still see her out at the clubs and arm and arm with my previous ex but she plays it off like they are not in a relationship and that she just needed a break from being in a relationship but to me she's acting like she is in one. She's not the same woman that I once loved and she hurt me....I do miss her but I don't want to ever talk to her or see her again. She has told people that we will get back together. There are times when I want to understand why she did this and then there are times when I really don't care and I wish that Karma would come now. She wants to be friends and call me and talk to me but I figure that she has lied, cheated and disrespected me to be where she is so she needs to go ahead and leave me alone. I just don't understand why she won't just leave me alone and forget that I ever existed, it would make things alot easier. What is it that she is thinking? Or is she not thinking at all?
  8. This is going to seem very bad but its the truth I have a signifant other in my life but I can't help but think about having sex with other women. I do not think about other women as to wanting a relationship with them. It happens to me when I give in to looking at women out in the street, I was doing really good when I would just not even look but lately its out of controll. I am not saying that I would go out there and cheat because I wouldn't like it if it happened to me. I want some advice perhaps from people that are married or have a signifant other in their life. any advice would be appreciated
  9. 3 months ago I found out that my husband had been interchanging calls with her female co-workers.The day I found out was 3 days after I had a baby.I was home coming from hospital and that women called,they talked for like 30 minutes.She started asking him about computer problems because h e is a computer technician;and then she kept talking about their job,so they ended up talking for about 30 minutes.The job they do, is to train retarded people ( people who have retarded mind).They teach them how to work and how to take care of themselves.They were working together one day for 13 hours a day.The place they were working in, they were with other people in builidings for 6 hours and then they would stay in builiding themselves with those retarded people for 6 hours,and they would drive together themselves at the end of work during night. After I heard him talking to her I asked him about her and he said that she was talking about what happened at work with their clients since she was covering his shift,while he was with me in hospital.Those clients have issues most of the time about their behaviors ,so that's what she was talking about.What I could hear from my husband was really,shirt,she should be fired no other comments.I got upset I entered the other room and then when I come back he had hanged off the phone.I told him that I don't want those calls from women,and he said he was gonna ask her to do not call him anymore. 3 weeks after I caugh a multimedia message to him from her which was a greeting of a pappy surrounded by flowers,kind of saying I miss U,but it didn't have any words on it.When I asked him about it he said that he doesn't know why she sent it.I got too upset and I told him that I want to meet both of them at theirwork and hear him telling her to stop calling him and sending messages,since I didn't bebieve he ever told her to do not call him anymore.He refuse saying that he doesn't want to loose his job.So he picked up the phone and he called her.He said"don't call my cell phone anymore because it is putting me in trouble,it is making my wife upset,and I don't want it to happen again,and don't send any messages".He hanged off and he told me that she said she would not do it again.After that she told their manager that me and my husband harassed her.Their manager separated them from working together.Since then they didn't work together until now.And few days later she accused him at their boss that my husband wasn't doing his job well.I heard all that from him. I went though the bills and I found out that there were several calls between them.I found that at the end of November and calls were for 3 months.Most of them were less than 10 minutes ,the long 0ne was 36 minutes,and few of them were between 10 and 20 minutes.There were few days when they called each other up to 4 times a day. When I asked him what the calls are about he said they were talking about job ,nothing else.He aplogized admitting that he made a mistake ,because he even called her few times after I sked him to stop.He said that the calls are long because the lady talks a lot. Well this is to confusing to me.I am very deppressed about it!It has been 3 months ,it can't get out of my mind.I am always asking him if he cheated on me,he says, no I didn't do that.He say that calls were just about job.However the calls are a lot ,it is hard to believe it!This drive me crazy ,I need to know the truth!In those days I saw some changes about him Which I don't remember very well.Iwas about to give birth.I am sorry this is a long story,I need help .What do you think ?Do you think this was an affair or I am just deppressing myself for nothing?I talked to one of his friends and he told me that one time my husband mentioned to him that, that womn was telling him about her sexual relationship with her boyfriend,and he told him that if he wasn't married he could do whatever he wants with her, because of the behaviors she was showing him.What do you think about this? What do you think was going on?Please help. I
  10. i have posted here a few times about my ex gf, she cheated on me with another guy. i guess what pissed me off the most is, that she never told me she liked the other guy, I had to find out about it from my best friend cuz she didn't have the guts to tell me herself.
  11. Okay everyone - about a month and a week ago me and my girlfriend broke up after 2 years about 5 months of dating. This wasn't a hasty breakup at all.. the *only* reason we broke up is because neither one of us wanted to do long-distance anymore. I was in Atlanta for a year, and now I'm in Columbia away from her again. We still love eachother, just long distance was becoming too hard. A month or so went by and I was very close to getting over here, but then last week she came back to me and we got back together. She called me and said she didnt' want to live without me, and it seemed so for the first two days. Then after that she started changing - college is changing her. She usually tells me everything.. but something became weird. I'm not a jealous guy at all, but I checked her AOL info and she was speaking of some guy in there, saying how great it was to get to know him, and how she hoped it would get better (???).. then she got offline with me one time, and said she'd talk to me later because she was going over her friends house.. then she left another message for the guy to call over her friends house (???).. she also smoked weed with this guy (and another girl and guy) for the first time two days ago.. and I'm like.. what? That's something I could never see her doing.. but hrm. err, but whatever, I blew it off. Yesterday we broke up again, she says she thought it would be better this time, but it wasn't.. and how she couldn't see herself cheating on me.. and stuff like that. This got me to think that she'd rather break up than cheat on me, which is good. I respect that - or better yet I think she's confused right now. Like I said before, she's not the kind to just start smoking weed like this with people she's only known for 2 weeks.. and change all of a sudden.. so I think she has to get her mind together before any more relationships. This is long, I'm sorry.. but here's the thing, we were broken up for a month, I was almost over her, then we get back together for a week (we didnt' even see eachother) - and then break up again!! So now I kinda have to go through it all over again.. but not completely. This breakup didn't hurt anywhere near as much as it did a month and a week ago.* So - any advice on anything I said above? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ *edit* also.. even when we broke up.. she still took all my pictures to her dorm and put them on her ceiling so I'd be the first thing she'd see when she got up.. and all on her walls. It's strange, she loves me.. and so do I, but both of us know that it just shouldn't be right now.*
  12. I dont know why but my bf is all of a sudden being more loving. Hes always hugging me and sitting by me and stuff. We have been togeather for a long time and have been living togeather for a year and a half so its not like we never see each other in fact we sometimes get sick of each other. Well all of a sudden hes allover me like flies on well you know. He wants to have sex all the time too. I think it might be because Im gone alot now. I have just started my fall semseter of school and I never get home till 7pm on most days. But could there be anything else? And I dont mean like is he cheating on me because I know hes not. But there has to be something or maybe Im just thinking to much about this.
  13. Hi everyone. I'm new to this forums. I've hung around for a while and I like the good advice given by everyone... Ok, here's my problem: I'm a tenth grader (will start 10th grade in a couple of weeks...). I've never been in a real relationship (the only other girl I've been "involved" with was more like a brother/sister relationship...) I met this gorgeous girl in 9th grade... I've never seen any other girl as beautiful as her... Ok, I moved to a place 3 hours away, and decided to ask her email. We've spoken a couple of times and everything seemed to be going great. Until when she stated that I should forget her because she thinks I'll never see her. I've never met anyone who is as nice (I think...) and beautiful as her... Well, the question is: Should I start an LDR with her? I mean, I'd try to see her at least 2-3 times a month (except when there's holidays, when I'd go see her immediately...). Besides, it'd just be for a year... but you see, that's the good side... the bad side is that I don't want her to feel lonely... I don't think she would cheat on me, but if she did, I think I would understand (I wouldn't cheat on her, but it's because I'm used to being lonely, but I don't think she is...). So, does anyone think it's worth it? I'd like to promise her I will see her at least 2-3 times each month, but if there are any significant setbacks, then I think I can't promise such a thing... I've fallen for her, and no other girl I've met has made me feel like her... So, do you think it's worth it? If so, could you give me any tips on keeping the LDR alive for 1 year? If she really thinks I would never see her, she's very very wrong... Just, what are my options?
  14. first of all this is my first post. just wanna say this is a cool site lots of info. anyhoo im 18 and my ex is 17. i met her at a party a year and half ago sense that day we been going out. before her i never had a real gf and same goes for her. for the past year and half i been seeing her 3 times a week usualy friday, sat, and sun. she was my everything. i am an only child. with divorced parents. i used to work alot so i didnt usualy hang around with ppl from school. it was all about me, my gf, and my car. my gf used to tell me that she loves me everyday for the past year and half i cant remember one day that we missed out talkin to each other. she knew everything there is about me. i was completely open with her. i never lied or cheated on her. i tried to be the best bf i could possebly be. cuz i knew that one day we gonna brake up like most realtionships do and that was my worse fear i did everything to make her happy and everyday she had a smile on her face. i got a job working for her dad in constraction this summer. so her dad asked me to live with them while im working. i worked everyday. so i saw my gf everyday. each day after work i was so happy to see her but when i looked at her i havent seen that smile anymore. i asked her whats wrong and she told me nothing that she is geting bored of me being there with her everyday. at first i though she was just in a bad mood or something after 2 weeks of working for her dad. everyday was the same i come home after work expect her to be there for me. but shes not. i ask her mom where is she and she told me shes at a friends house. i felt horreble i was at someone else house' and alone. she was never there anymore. and then one day she tells me i think we need time apart i need my own space lets be friends i was shocked i kept asking why. she just didnt asnwer anymore. i fell apart and went home without saying anything. the next day i call her and i asked her when does she want me to come back. she said i duno. after a few days. i had enough of being played i asked her are we still going out or wat. and she said NO. for no reason at all, the love of my life turned out to be this completely diffrent selfish if i might add person. we been broken up for about 3-4 weeks now. everyday was a nightmare its like she just didnt care anymore there must of been a reason. i called her everyday. we talked for 5min and she told me she had to go. so i started calling her friends to see what they know. i got some info but i wanted to hear it from her. so here it goes. i asked my ex what did i do wrong and she kept saying nothin at all its not you its me. she told me that last winter she cheated on my with some guy. i asked her why would u do that and she said she didnt know she felt sorry for me and never talked to the guy she cheated on me with again. i was confused. i asked her were u not happy with me and she said i havent been happy for a long time. i asked her then y do u smile everyday and pretend that u love me. she said i do love u but not inlove with you. so i asked so everyday for the past year u had a fake smile on and she said prety much yeah. then i hanged up the phone. the next day i found out that 2 days after we broke up she started dating some 21 year old guy whos a coke head. that she met at a party a few months ago. prety much for the past year and half i been lied to about everything all this time she felt sorry for me. my life was a lie and now i have no body cuz i spend all my time with her. i couldnt eat or sleep for a week after. i lost 30pounds. i think im healing now but each day i think aobut her. i have so many memories. she wants me to be friends with her but how can i ? i been through so much with her. but how can i after what she did to me. its not a good excuse to brake up with me. alot of ppl been telling me forget about her. but i cant forget about her each day i have dreams about her. after all what she did to me. the cheating the lieing. i still love her. but no matter how much i show it to her she just doesnt care. any opinions from you guys ?
  15. I used to treat my wife like a princess. I bought her flowers all the time, gave her massages practically every night, and whenever I had a little extra money, I would surprise her with something special. I even did the dishes every day ;-) When we were pregnant, I treated her even more special. She was never "in the mood", but that didn't really bother me because I was focused on preparing to be a father. Besides that, she was so greatful for me taking such good care of her, she told me many times how good I would have it (in bed) after we settled in our new roles as parents. It's been a year since our child was born, and our lovelife stinks. We have sex once, maybe twice a month if I'm lucky. I say "sex" because there is no passion. She never wants to kiss, be romantic or have foreplay, she just wants to have sex. She's also selfish in bed. I do anything to please her, but she doesn't care to please me. She is sort of like a stereotypical guy. Then suddenly when she decides it's time for us to have another baby, she wants to have sex every night for a week when the time is ripe, then it's back to nothing. I feel like she is just using me for my sperm. She hardly speeks to me, she just sits in front of the computer all the time. It's like we're strangers. When I want to spend time with her, she says she's too tired, but she always seems to have energy for EVERYTHING else. I feel like I'm her absolute last priority. Actually, I'm not even on the list. I've NEVER cheated on anyone in my whole life. The thought of doing something like that has never even crossed my mind... until now. I fantasize about cheating on her all the time. I'm dieing for affection, but she won't listen to me. What should I do?
  16. Hey everyone, VERY new to this whole concept of forums cos I usually just talk through stuff with friends but hey its worth a try! Please read my story and let me know what'all think. Thanks a million. background - im a 22 yr old student (James is my name) girl is 20 almost 21(student also-mary) - both from and living in Ireland. I met this girl(Mary) 11 months ago. It probably started off on the wrong foot as I cheated on my then girlfriend with Mary. I'll try and keep this story as brief as I can but still include what I deem necessary. After this inital time, Mary fell for me very heavily and even after realising that I had a girlfriend and indeed did cheat still was very interested. I subsequently broke up with my girlfriend as I didnt think we'd work out quite soon after meeting mary. Mary and I developed a phone relationship thereby ringing and texting eachother EVERYDAY! I know over-familiarity could have taken place but luckily didnt. We were at college and on a nite out I was a single man - mary was out - as far as i was concerned i wasnt getting anywhere so i moved on with the nite and scored some cheat who turned out to be in her class in front of her! I was unaware of this at the time. After that nite, mary went off me big time and up until this point (last november about 1 to 1+1/2 months of knowing her) i wasnt too interested in mary. Anyway come the christmas college party i was into mary again basically cos i couldnt have her(i thought). After a bit of c.ocky+funny approach i eventually won her over on the nite and we ended up together again. That nite i asked her to start something with me. She refused saying she didnt wanna even go on a date with me insisting she didnt want to go on a date because she would start to like me again too much and didnt want a relationship. I'll speed things on to april - meanwhile we're still scoring when we're out and ringing and texting but still can be with other people so there's no official relationship. I was vice president of my student union. The guy who's taking over from me next year is crazy about mary. I told her this and started to get paranoid when I saw her and him flirting with eachother on many occasions in college. A few of my friends said they thought they had even scored. Mary convinced me otherwise and although my intentions were good towards her i was pure jealous at the time and made a dick out of myself on two nights out over him. I made up for all the jealousy and paranoia (which i never usually have but i blame it on both the fact he was replacing me and wanted "my girl" and also my friends telling me she was with him when in fact she DEFINITELY wasnt) by buying her loads of presents and bringing her home and surprising her with all this stuff-it went down VERY well indeeed. She told me she wasnt with him and never wanted to be and i firmly believe her. We knew and still know everything about eachother. Right college broke up in june and we went on our first date! Woohoo! It went fantastically well. Couldnt have gone better. We started to meet up every week after that. We had our second date (both dinner by the way). Met eachothers families all went well. We still werent officially a couple but werent with anyone else either. I went up to her town and went out and had a great nite. She came down to my town and... we had a row. Up until then things have never gone better with us but this row about 6 weeks ago now has left me emailing a man i'll probably never meet looking for some desperately needed answers (no offence by the way!). Basically I text and rang her during the day and the day before to see if she was deffo coming down with her friends as she didnt know for sure. She never text or rang back. I went out and evertually toward the end of the nite she arrived to the club and barely said hello to me. 1 of her best friends(they met at christmas) never really liked me which i know is an uphill battle but she crabbed mary in front of me and said something to her about me and mary just walked on. Mary told me beforehand that her friend(ciara) hated when mary left her on her own and went off with me. Ok that was fine at the end of the nite i went over and spoke to them both. Ciara said to mary on the sly "wat about that guy for u-pointing to some guy near us" and mary said "uh no!". This as you can well imagine pissed me off but i let it slide. About 10 mins later I met mary and grabbed her on her own and we kissed. She immediately said she has to go outside to ciara, I said i'll be out in a minute. When i went out mary had her back facing me and ciara was looking at me - as i got closer ciara said loudly "sush sush". This made me super-paranoid. I asked mary to talk to me for a second. I said "wat the hell was that about?!" she said i was only telling her i was wit u and she didnt want u to think we were talkin about ya to give u a bighead. i said why wud u bother telling her that? wasnt assummed we would have kissed? I then said something bad which i duely apologised for saying what i felt at the time "you're the most ignorant girl i've ever met because im the one who almost has to beg to meet up" and some other fueldriven rubbish. she got pissed off a tear or two and said to her friends im not taking this anymore. i apologised and i kissed her again. we havent met up since... I rang her a couple of days later and we talked it out, she sent me a text message after that call reading the following: "I do think alot of you and i want things to go back to the way they were and just see what happens" After that nite i didnt know where either of us stood. i know i look bad but believe me she played me around so much that was just my breaking point. this "relationship" has been driven by control. i was in control at the start and now she is. i fatally shot myself in the foot by telling her i loved her which she never has recipricated. That week I told her i'd meet up or i could go out with some old friends i hadnt seen in a while along with that same ex i cheated on. During this week i told mary i wanted to know if we'd start something. long story short she basically said to go out with my friends. about 2 weeks later - just a few calls and texts everything slowed down, i rang her and told her there and then i wanted an answer on the fone were we or were we not gunna start something. she wouldnt answer me. i said right ok i had enough and i was ending it right then. i rang her about a week later and we had another row cos we were supposed to meet up but she never contacted me again. it turned out she was pissed off cos i drunkingly (im irish remember!) said i checked her voicemail to see if she has listened to my messages - i NEVER checked her voiceys and was insulted by this and said its grand we're just friends basically. she said she DIDNT want a relationship now... since then i rang her and tried to patch things up. I truly love this girl. the above are tiny fights in a 95% perfect semi-relationship. i know this girl really does like me very much. i'll do anything to get her back ANYTHING. right now she knows she can have me and theres no challenge in that. we were supposed to meet up as "friends" tonight but she made up an excuse of being sick (i found this out to be a lie through her mother by accident). i know if we were just officially going out things would be great and right. what can i do now? she doesnt text or ring me anymore at all. its like she is making herself move on. I was talking to a VERY close friend of hers last nite in a club and she told me she hasnt been talking to mary in over a month but way back when we met she was crazy about me, never into anyone as much as me but shes not so sure now. PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME! believe me when i say i KNOW she still has super strong feelings for me but she and her friends are making her move on. What can i do? Hard to get? Loads of contact? What?
  17. Interesting article I found on cirumstances that lead people to cheat. The last page has the listed reasons: link removed /dating/ curtsmith_60/ 62_dating_advice.html
  18. I have been married for 2 years and together for 7 before that. About 4 months ago I cheated on my wife with a girl who was nothing more than a drunk. I have been an alcoholic for about the past seven years. When I have gotten drunk I said mean and nasty things to my wife. Never name calling but derogatory and harmfull comments. Since the break up after the cheating episode I have been sober for 4 1/2 months, spent over $1000.00 on therapy and have been completley honest in any conversations that I've had with her and anyone concerning my life with her. We never spoke for about 2 months and then started speaking everyday for about a month , about having children, what happened how to deal and get over it etc. I moved back In for about 10 days and everything was fine and then I came home from work one day and she said she wanted me out and was not happy and couldn't do "this" anymore. The days before this she was telling me she loves me and talking about babbies and having sex with me.I have had no contact with her except for a few conversations about legal seperation. When I ask her about filing for legal seperation as far as dates and things go she just say's "what do you think"? She knows I don't want to get a divorce and she's never come right out and asked for one. It's as if she is pushing me to do all the serious stuff against my will. She and my sister were very close and she was a faboulous aunt to my 3 nieces and nephews and I asked her not to "write them off" over my foolish horrible mistake and she said that she's not but no one has heard from her for 4 weeks. Her friends and father hate me now (not that I blame them) and are a great influence on her decision making. I told my wife that there would come the time where I would have to face her parents and other loved ones whom i've hurt and disappointed and try to make things right again, but her father just said "not a f*&$%ing chance!!" HE has constantly been sticking his nose in our lives the whole length of our relationship. He has cheated on his own wife numerous times also and my wife knows this., but she still seems to value his opinion more than anything. I have this constant feeling that there is more to this whole episode than meets the eye. I figure if you want to try and see if you can get over the infedelity, lets try marriage councilling. She wont. I guess she just may want out and has the excuse now that she doesn't look like the bad girl. Thats important to her because she constantly cares what people think. After I sobered up I truly have seen the value of my wife and want so many things with her to put the smile on her face everyday. I have so much regret and shame for what I did and the way that I acted I don't know that I can ever get over it, I am soo sorry for what I did to her. People say I am beating myself up about it too much. She has been out every night since and seems not to be taking it very hard. I am devestated!!! I can't help but feel that I have this new outlook and perspective on the thing that should have been done in our relationship but fear it's simply too late. I have committed 100% to living for our marriage, I only wish I could have been sober enough before this all happened. I've always said I would never cheat on her and truly believed I wouldn't until I got drunk one night and it happened. She's kicked me out before years ago because of the drinking and the whole scenario kinda fells the same. No contact and then 3 months later we're back together fo 2 weeks, everything is good and then BOOM.....out the door again. Please lend me some insight , I feel that no man has enough rope to climb that mountain when the friends and father are against you. I just don't know how honest she's being with herself. She's very vague, and never gives the difinitive YES or NO answers. She has never went to councilling throughout this whole thing and will not consider it. I also would like to know how you deal with the fact that someone else will soon be doing the day-to-day things and sleeping with your wife. I just can't seem to deal with it. I guess I got exactly what I deserved
  19. For those that have cheated on their partner and are trying to remain in the relationship, what makes you remain the relationship if your partner does not trust you? This is assuming that you are no longer involved in the affair. Also for those that have been cheated on, why remain in the relationship if you have issues trusting your partner. This is assuming that you believe trust to be a major factor in your relationship.
  20. Ok my boyfriend and me have been together for 3 ½ years. About 2 years into the relationship, I mentioned maybe moving in together and asked if he was ready and he said yes he would be eventually but not now. thereforeeee, I waited for a while and thought maybe that since he was not ready then I was not the one for him. Well I mentioned it again and he said he was not ready and I asked him why and he did not really know why. Well one day he mentioned to me that he had issues with the fact that im his first but he is not mine and that hurt him very much to think about. Well we talked about it and he eventually did not bring it up again. Well come to find out he was cheating on me so I broke up with him and I asked him why he did it and he said that it bothered him that I had sexual partners and he didn't. thereforeeee, we spent some time apart and he kept trying to prove that he could be trustworthy again and said that the reason why he was not ready to move in was that he was cheating and knew if we moved in together that he would feel too guilty about it. I told him we could eventually get back together and I would try to forgive him and trust him again but we had to figure out if we had a future together or not and if things were going to move forward. He said yes and we got back together and planned to move in together in 3 months. Well what do you know he changed his mind about it AGAIN for the 10th time! Our current situation is now he is not ready to move in with me because he was a virgin, I was not, and that hurts him. So what does that have to do with living with someone? I do not know! What do you people think? It sounds like he is making up excuses. I need to know if we have a future, together words are not enough. I need to know that the year's im spending with someone is going to result in something. Am I wrong for wanting that? He saying he wants to live with me and be with me forever is not enough. I have put up with too much crap in this relationship. If I cheated on someone I would defiantly do all I could not to screw things up! I believe when someone is "the one" for u as he says I am then your ready for a future with them right. What do you people think?
  21. Hi all, Im a 26 year old. I got married 6 months ago to a man I met online. We've had a good marriage until early this week. I logged onto his yahoo chat (I know this is wrong) pretending I was him. (He's addicted to the internet and I had a feeling something was up) This girl he used to date came on and said she will wait for his call to come over so she could give him a back massage, I eventually told her I was his wife and not him, I called him and told him what I knew. He said he would talk to me about it at home. When he got there he acted as if nothing was wrong, until I started asking him why. He said he never planned to go and he only told her so she would stop asking him to come over, I do not believe this, I want to but I dont. He says it is my fault and I've caused my own pain. My husband has been married two other times, he doesnt have the greates track record. According to this woman, she said he loves me, he always told her that, he told her we were trying to have a baby (which we are) So I dont know, I love him and I really want this to work. He promised he would no longer talk to x-girlfriends on the internet, Im sure he'll stop now but not in the future. I need some advice - PLEASE
  22. Hi all, as some of you know my husband finally moved out after a long history of not coming home, many other types of serious drama and repeated emotional abuse. I have not filed for divorce yet. He keeps calling me and begging me to give him another chance, I've given him so many chances with crystal clear guidelines that I have lost count. He has blown it every time. I have no proof that he ever cheated on me but he has lied to me many times about everything else. He swears he hasn't cheated on me and I somewhat believe him or I wouldn't care so much. He has truly hit rock bottom and says he cannot live without me, he cries on the phone and literally called me 50+ times one day cause I would not answer the phone. He is very, very depressed and does not care if he lives anymore. He is a ticking time bomb and has a very bad temper. I am the only person he has ever felt love for, and he has lost me so he sees no reason to care about anything. I am very, very torn. I still am very much in love with him but I know this divorce is inevitable because I had to remove myself and my son from the drama. I cannot reach him mentally, I've tried talking to him to help ease the pain but I have come to the conclusion that there is nothing I can do to help him and I feel I am leading him on and making things worse for him. We've tried no contact but one of us, usually he, keeps calling and it doesn't last long at all. When I call it's because I'm so afraid he's dead somewhere. I know it's making it worse when I do this. How can I feel less guilty and what can I say to him/do that will help him through this? I am very, very depressed and I cry all the time over him. Please help!
  23. Okay Ive broken up with my bf of 3yrs that Ive lived together with..he told me he never loved me, never intended to marry me and was relieved I did it. In the heat of the argument I learn he's cheated on me and I was stunned I had thought all this time he had been faithful, I was very wrong. So I went and made plans to move out..I had him sign a roommate release agreement which is legal and binding in my state. I agreed in writing to stay at our town home till February 5th and then Im moving out. So legally I am responsable for only the first week of rent that's pro-rated. Problem is he wont accept the agreement and can't grasp he signed it and gave his okay to the whole thing. He wants to hold me to paying my share of half of the rent. When that failed he then tried to force me to pay half of the half..but still no luck. Finally he has resorted to threatening me and my new car. He has threatened to take my bed that he bought me as a gift to replace the one he didnt like sleeping on 2yrs ago. The law firm told me it would cost him 3x that of what the 2yr old bed is worth and the lawyers would get a 33.3% cut and once its all done and said he'd really have nothing to show for putting himself further into debt. They told me he is tossing a fit over a mere $90.00 difference and that its not worth getting upset over. Besides they said your moving to an undisclosed new address how is he going to get a bed back if he doesnt know where to look?. He doesnt know the true date Im leaving and is thinking its on the weekend so Im advised to let him continue thinking that. He has not yet become aware he cant sue me for rent after signing the release agreement and when he does it will come as a shock to him. Ive spoken to the apartment's law team and they told me he has no legal grounds when he signed it he became the soul party responsable and Im no longer even on the lease. Im free to move and not look back on the cheating runt. Here is my problem...I only have to pay for one week. What Im doing is legal and binding and I owe him nothing. If I choose to pay anything more its out of the kindness of my heart and right now after learning about the "other woman" I dont feel inclined to be so generous. He knows he's now obligated to pay for the townhome now on his own be he somehow thinks he can bully me into paying. So he is still is tossing a tantrum about the whole deal. Ive got one more day and Im avoiding him at all cost. Advised not to anwser any calls he may make to me on my cell so he cant keep track of my location or activity. How would you deal with this situation if it were you?
  24. I have posted a few time after going through hell with my bf for 3yrs we broke up a few days ago. He gave me no reasons told me he was over it and that he didnt love me and hasnt for a long time. He was very distant when i asked why he jus dismissed me. So i thought i had better not make a fool of myself and went on my merry way. Needless to say it feels like i have been crying for three days i have forgotten what food is and when sleep does finally come i dream of him. Anyway he rang me yesterday on a private number and said that he is sorry and the reason he broke up with me was because he could never marry me anyway (he is muslim and i am christian) and he was making up excuses to make me let go. This hurt me even more because he dragged me along for so long so i politely excused myself from the conversation and am hoping he doesnt cause any trouble for me. Im finding it so hard after 3yrs of being togther every day to nothing. I kno i am better off without him, he cheated on me, he called me names and he was abusive. But i got so used to hanging out for any scrap of affection i became more attatched. How do i stop crying and move on with life and forget about him?
  25. alright, me and my g/f have only been going out for 8 months, but we live together and we are around each other all the time. She is from Rhode Island and i am from north carolina. She is down here for college, and she has alot of friends back home, which i dont mind, she talks to them all the time, but there is one person i have a problem with. its a guy she talks to everyday multiple times a day she says that its just a guy that her family took care of when he was going through a hard time, but at frist she told me it was her brother, which i later found out was a lie, it is not her brother. and she will answer the phone everytime he calls no matter what time it is, and she talks to him around me and i listen and she talks to him like there is a realtionship there. and she even tells him seh loves him. i have brought up my suspicion that i think she is cheating on me but it never gets anything sttled, she wont even alk to me about it, and when she does she gets mad and then i end up feeling bad for bringing it up. now she went back home for the weekend to see her friends(or so she says) and she was supposed to go to a concert with this guy, i asked her if she would have aproblem with me going to a concert with someone, and she said no, which is a lie. oh and we used to have sex almost everyday in the start of our realtionship, and now i cant even touch her sexually with out her saying No Stop That!, we havent had sex in almost 2 months, i ask her why she wont have sex and she says she dosent know why. i think that is just BS, i think i should be able to have sex with my g/f. but i dont knwo what is going on, ive been so damn confused latley. ive tried gettting advice from people but it wont help b/c i can never explain my whole story, i hope that i can on here. i hope that someone can read this and give me some advice.
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