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About Me

  1. Hi all, First time poster here to this great website, it has helped me through some tough times. My (ex?) girlfriend and I had some rough times recently and kind of drifted apart. We've been together 4 years and living together that long too. As things became bad there before and after Christmas she decided it was best she moved out to take some time out and get her head straight on us. I fully agreed and helped her move out, all very amicable. She insisted that it wasn't a break-up and that we should just spend some time apart. We both agreed on this. I told her that I thought it would be best that we weren't in contact for the two months so we could really see what it would be like without being in each other's lives. She wasn't overly keen on this but once I explained this to her she understood and accepted. During the first week I got a few texts from her regarding stuff she needed and I would give a single reply. If any post arrived I'd just forward it to her new address. A few weeks into the break I posted her something and she sent a 'thank you' text to which I didn't reply. A few days after that she sent me an angry text that I hadn't replied and that she hoped that nothing else arrived in the post that I would have to forward to her. I replied to this basically stating that I was only doing what we had agreed before she moved out and that if any more post came for her I'd gladly forward it to her, never a problem. That was our last communication, 5 weeks ago and this weekend marks 8 weekends since she moved out. I do miss her. And I think we could make it work again. I'm just wondering if this NC thing was a bad idea as we hadn't actually broken up and were just taking a break. I have no idea what she is up to these days at all. I imagine that she will contact me to meet up next week when the two months have passed. I just wonder if anyone has advice or experience of something like this. Thanks for reading my post. Regards, JimDandy
  2. Hello, I have planned to text to my crush for the first time, since I am going to get his number but I am afraid of giving her a bad impression, I plan to tell her: Hi, I'm… we were at the same school and I always wanted to meet you And I don't know what else to add to her, at high school I always wanted to talk to her, but I always was nervous so I never spoke to her, now that I can get her number I'm afraid of giving her a bad impression. I would also like you to advise me what to answer if she asks me: Why do you want to meet me? How did you get my number? Among other hypothetical questions ... And well I'm definitely going to talk to her, I don't want to regret never having to spoken to her, she is a spectacular girl, since I saw her something attracted me to her and unfortunately I never spoke to her because I always scared of talk to her since I was an immature teenager but I have grown up and I want to take that step to meet her. And sorry English is not my mother language.
  3. Hi, As the title says, can anyone tell me what fx means when put at the end of a text message? I assume that the x represents a kiss but what does the f before it mean? I have never seen this used before and have no idea what it means and it is bugging me! please help! Thanks
  4. Hi everyone! I'm in major need of advice. So. on June 10-17 I was out of town for work purposes. When I got back later that week I grabbed my boyfriends laptop to play a movie and his e-mail was on the screen. There was one particulare email that stood out to me so I opened it. It was a back and forth email with a prostitute/escort. I confronted him about this and he felt very ashamed and swears nthing happed that he was just curious and extremly horny and desperate while I was away since we hadnt had sex for a 1 1/2 weeks. Let me also add that the reason we hadnt been sexual was becasue we were going thru issues. He had missed my brothers wedding in order to go hang with friends in NY. So obviousl y I was mad. I immediatly ended this with him because it was very hurtful to see this! especially since after my trip we had been very intimate and loving so I didnt undertsand where the needs were coming from? despite this we worked thru things and everything had been going great. Until today. 7.17.19. I happened to go on his computer and saw he had 11 unread texts. So i opened Imessages and saw that during the days i was away not only did he e-mail, but was texting! multiple conversations. again he swears he didnt meet up with anyone and i believe him, but im just so torn!!! I love him so much and I know he loves me as well! i see it. its very confusing to see the man i Love do this. I feel like thats not MY guy. we've been together for 3 years and live together. What should I do?
  5. I met a guy through an app not related to dating. It was just to make foreigner friends. We starting texting everyday on Instagram and later on whatsapp. We texted like four hours at least everyday. He is Indian and I am Spanish. I feel his values and morals are similar to mine, unlike most guys in Spain. We similar mindset about life about many things, although we may differ in certain things too of course. After like four months talking we confessed we liked each other although it was obvious before. When we had been seven months talking my cousin asked me if I wanted to do volunteering in India and I accepted cause I had always wanted to do volunteering abroad and also cause it was a good idea to meet him. We just met for three days and it was very good, we liked each other in person too and we kissed. As I thought it was normal the next step should be start relashionsip, but he said no, that I should wait cause he only wanted to take the commitment if he had job. 'So till when I will have to wait?', I asked, 'till November', he said. Some things I like about him is that he respect me a lot and he is not jelaous, he always try to please me if I tell him something bothered me, he also is very attentive. What I don't like it is that he has trouble to show his feelings and with this thing of making me wait, there is not way to change his mind and that is making me rethink everything. I wonder if I want a relationship with him or not, cause I feel a man who truly wants a relationship doesn't let external factors decide no? Maybe I am wrong. I am very confused. Other problem is I want to talk with him but I have to wait a couple of days cause he doesn't want to talk about this topic with his parents there. That's why I want to clear my mind, decide if I want to be in relationship with him or not before we speak on video. If anyone has advice I will be forever grateful.
  6. I want to chronicle my journey, post-breakup so that hopefully ENAers current and in the future can use my story as a point of reference. I'll do my best to post here each day with how I'm feeling, doing, interactions, etc. My story? Senior in college. Mutually broke up with my girlfriend of 2.5 years six weeks ago. Neither of us were happy in the relationship anymore. We basically spent most of our free time together and over-time, that led to a toxic dynamic. We neglected our friends to be together. We just agreed that we loved and cared about each other and didn't want to totally ruin our dynamic by continuing at our current pace. We wanted time to work on ourselves and find happiness alone again before ever having a healty relationship again. Don't get me wrong. Our relationship was based off of a lot of love. She has still told me that she knows that she's going to marry me one day and that no one will ever treat her better than I did. Do I believe her? Well, I did and still somewhat do. No such thing as false hope because hope doesn't mean success. We've been through everything together from swine flu, to pregnancy scares, deaths in the family, mental breakdowns, hospital visits, going grocery shopping on a Friday night. We've pretty much experienced much more than you should in a 2.5 year time frame. The last six weeks? Hellish. I've asked for her back on four different occasions to only be rejected each time (Three of them were alcohol-enduced). After a few days passed by, I felt like we could handle the problems while in the relationship. Well, she didn't agree. She kept saying that she needed 'space'. So I've been in and out of NC. My longest period was for three weeks and I felt so much better. However, after I saw her at a bar and I was really drunk, I started to text her and ask for her back. This didn't go over well and I called and apologized to her today. Basically, my fear of loss has compelled me to do a lot of stupid things. I've out of character on more than one occasion. I can't cook, either. So that has sucked, a lottttt. Is there a rebound? Nope. She's not interested in dating anyone else. She has spent a ton of time with her friends, who are all single. Most were very envious of our relationship because it was so damn comfortable. Definitely could be a phase. Has she contacted me? Yep. The most recent time was last Wednesday. She texts me late at night. Like 12:30 am. And mind you, she is not a drinker. So these aren't drunk texts. These are 'I put my head on the pillow and think about you' texts. She's just a better actor than I am when disguising her feelings. I know she still cares about me. One of her last texts to me? 'I'm starting to feel like a normal person again'. Just goes to show that they hurt just as much as we do, post-breakup. Misc I removed her on Facebook awhile back. I don't take my cell phone when I go out to avoid drunk texting (bit me twice in the past). Her family absolutely loves me. Her brother still talks to me and often asks for my advice. Her mom came to visit two weeks ago and wanted to come over to see me. However, I was at work. She has 'checked in' on me a few times. I didn't really give her much information, but I didn't exactly blow her off. I feel like that is not productive if you want someone back who doesn't have a current boyfriend/fling. What Have I Done? Re-connect with old friends. Met lots of new friends. Go out, a lot. Meet new girls. Exercise like crazy. I've dropped 15 pounds over this six week period. I've really worked hard at my job and with my college work. Tried to do everything in my power to not think about her. Final Thoughts I miss this girl like crazy, but I'm slowly letting go. That's the only way you can get yourself back. I'd like to have her back someday, but not until I'm 100% happy again and she gets this whole phase out of her system. Hopefully this gave you an intro to my situation and feel free to chime in whenever. Just remember, when you love someone, you never give up. That doesn't mean you'll get them back, but if you truly love someone, you'll want them to always be happy. Your happiness, however, is always the top priority. Don't forget the push-pull dynamic. The more you push, the worse things will become. You can never 'pull' too much. The best gift you can give an ex? The gift of missing you. Go away. If you envision positive things, they'll happen for you.
  7. A girl left me in pending for like 3 or 4 days showing me that that person left me in pending for that time, so I was kinda going over it, but today I opened snapchat and it shows that I've been in pending for only like 23 hours. I just wanted to know if this could be a glitch or she actually added me back to Snapchat and unadded me for trying to call my attention or something like that. What do you guys think??
  8. Why do some guys wait for you to initiate, make plans or even text first? I have been on 3 dates in the past month and it's the same rigomor each time. Connections are really good, lots of talking, smiling and even an offer to hang out again, but no date set. They sit back and wait for you to get in touch & offer to meet up again. In 2 cases the guys sounded super enthused & the dates go great. But I do all the leading. Isn't that the man's job?
  9. Hey! I am an 18 yrs-old male who has been through one break-up before about a year ago (the first one is tough) and I never wanted to leave her, but she decided to end things. We are both in high school and she is 16 yrs. However, it’s been some time and I had recently gotten a new gf. The concerning thing to me is that I think it hurts her a bit because she posts on social media implying her feelings of being alone. I certainly don’t want this for her as a still care about her feelings but I wanted some advice—some insight—on whether I should send this song I wrote dedicated to her. Since we haven’t seen or spoken to the other in so long, I was curious on whether I should send it anonymously just to be a simple note of encouragement. Again, I don’t know what to do but I just wish to contact her in some way so that she receives further closure and make the healing process much easier. All advice is welcome—thank you! The Best For You - (Original) They always speak of the past, but I don’t know what for. Though I can’t help but wonder if I’d ever find a heart like yours, But truth says I could never—you’re irreplaceable. Your love is something to cherish—so embraceable. And I think you should know That, before I go, One day you’ll be someone’s everything Enough to make their heart sing. You can give the best of smiles, That will last their days awhile. And I hope you feel the same too, ‘Cause all I ever wanted for you Is to know what love can do And what it can do is the best for you! (Oh-oh, the best for you!) You know that sometimes good things weren’t always meant to be, But that won’t change the past, nor how much you meant to me. And forget you? I could never; your time is a treasure. I won’t be the only one whose heart you can change forever. And I think you should know That, before I go, One day you’ll be someone’s gold star, Who will love you for who you are. He’ll have you on top his mind, Thinking of you all the time. And I hope you feel it too, ‘Cause all I ever wanted for you Is to know what love can do And what it can do is the best for you! (Oh-oh, oh-oh the best for you!) Though it’s been some time, I had to deliver one last time ‘Cause I know that you deserve More than you know you’re worth. And I want you to know That, before I go, One day you’ll be someone’s world, His perfect, favorite girl. And I hope you know it too, ‘Cause all I ever wanted for you Is to know what love can do And what it can do it the best for you! (All-ll I ever wanted is the best for you)
  10. Me and my girlfriend have been going through a rough patch at the moment due to me developing health anxiety and minor depression and it has really taken a toll on us but she stuck with me through it all, I noticed a distance in her and we discussed and sorted it all out and we were on the road to being happy again. Last night I had an opportunity to read her messages as I knew she'd been texting a guy she slept with a long time ago (I know I shouldn't have gone through her phone but I was drunk and my anxiety got the better of me) there were some flirty texts there and I noticed when she wasn't replying or talking to me she had been chatting away to this guy in massive paragraphs and cheeky flirty messages such as talking about what she was wearing to an Ann summers party and saying she wished she was with him when he mentioned he wished she was there. I brought it up to her and she said it meant nothing and that was the way her and this guy had always talked to eachother, she acknowledged it was flirty and apologised saying she would cut all contact with him to which I said I don't want her to do that as I don't want to be the reason she loses a friend. Since this happened she has told me she thought nothing of what was said and she loves me and wants to do anything to make it up to me that she can and that the shady buisness stops here or our relationship does. The question is do I forgive her, I understand why she was pushed away due to our relationship troubles but I thought we were getting better, I'm just a bit confused and need someone to advise me on if I should end it now or forgive her and move on, If I trust her when she says nothing was going to come out it and she will never do it again I open myself up to being a pushover and it happening again and in my current head state I dont think I can do this again, somebody please help
  11. My ex and I were together for 8 years. 2 beautiful children under 5. Last couple years with stress of children, owning a home etc has been rough. We used to have a strong bond and thousands of great memories. We nearly broke up 3 months ago, when she was distant, and I discovered apartments rental applications in her browser history. We never had trust issues in the past. I told her she gave me no choice but to end things, and we argued for an hour and then went to bed separately. Next day I had change of heart, sent her flowers, and she came home crying and we hugged and we discussed an action plan for fixing things. her list wassimple. do dishes, make dinner once a week, let her go out 1 night a month and counseling if necessary. for the next 4-6 weeks we were in love again. Long walks, holding jhands, chasing her around the house, slapping her on the ass, making love etc. then the fighting started up again. All over trivial roommate type pet peeves and annoying loud house from children. She became distant again. I was reviewing our cell bill and noticed hundreds of text messages in last couple weeks alone to a familiar number. Her gay best friend Greg. I always supported their friendship, but hundreds of texts in a week seemed odd. Our daughter was playing games on her phone and asked for my help. I then go to texts and all but a few are deleted. I confornt her, explain she gives me no choice but to break up because of the deceit. She explains she has wanted to move out for awhile, and texts were aboutmaking the plans to leave, and advice. and I wont let her. She is no longer in love with me and its not fair to the kids... I then ask if she is willing to go to counseling. she says no. I then ask her to pack her things and leave. Keep in mind we lived together for 8 years. That was a month ago. she has since got a new apartment and all new life. She did not ask for her bed, TV, computer and many belongings. I continue to pick up Kids at daycare friday evening and drop off monday morning. I was on defensive claiming to be done and moving on with my life. I am a proud family man, and cherish my family and love her dearly. But I cannot allow her behavior. I was not about to ask her to come home, nor seem weak. But my heart hurts terribly. She has essentially been doing no contact for the entire month. COLD SHOULDER, no responses to pics of kids, nothing. This past weekend was first time I saw her in a month. She shows up all dolled up. I asked her to speak to me and she wouldnt look at me and keeps walking. I send a couple texts and she explains if we talk about kids only she will talk. I cant help it but to speak about feelings anyways. she sends pics of the kids back. no speak of feelings whatsoever. She acts as if she is hurt and trying to hurt me back. I kicked her out for wanting to break up with no counseling!!! She later texts, that " Ido not know what you want me to say, you have made it loud and clear how you feel and what you want" putting it back on me. 4 days later... I had flowers and her favorite pizza delivered to her work. She sends me a simple text.. "Thanks for the flowers and lunch" I know its a step in right direction. for an entire month she has acted like she is DONE! This is one stubborn nut to crack. I dont expect to run back into each others arms, and expect to take things slow. but damn I need more from her than she is giving. If she was done, would she be saying thanks?
  12. I am SO depressed. I know I am constantly repeating myself on ena, but I like to catch up new readers. It has been three months since he broke up with me, and I do not miss him any less. I just REALLY REALLY want him back. I miss my friend, I miss my escape, I miss my love, I miss him so much. I have begged, pleaded, put my dignity on the line for this man so he could possibly come back. I have had my friends to talk to him, I have had his friends to talk to him. I have called his mom and asked for advice, I have wrote him letters, I have gave him gifts with a card containing more "I'm sorry" letters in it. I have stalked him on a fake account on facebook. Every time I saw him I broke down in tears and begged him to take me back...EVERY TIME. Anytime I needed a ride to work it was always depressing, because I couldn't hold on to his arm like I wanted to. I couldn't kiss him like I wanted to, I couldn't get a response back when I said "I love you" and it killed me, it still does. I called over 100 times one night, and that is not exaggerating. He picked up infuriated at me. I told him that I have been fighting for him for two months, can't he see that I am miserable? He responded back to me that that should be a big enough hint to leave him alone. I cried so hard that night. Every day I would call him anyway hoping he would pick up, some days I would call and text more than others, and I would never get a response. It was torture! I gave up, and tried no contact and I was somewhat healing. It was hard but I felt better every day, but I still wanted him. He started contacting me first, and that was very rare after the break up. It sucked to ignore his calls and texts, and if I did answer I pretended like I was not interested "What do you want?" One night he called me more that 7 times over, I ignored it, he asked me to pick up on a voicemail. I sent him a simple text saying "text" to let him know to text me. I wasn't so clingy. One day he arrived at my house unexpectedly. I answered the door "What are you doing here?" He told me he was going to call be he was afraid I would reject him. I invited him in. He told me he missed me, and missed our times together. I told him that that was his fault and he made us like this. He was quiet and I had this hard attitude on and I asked him "Do you need anything else or are you just going to stand there?" He told me he would leave, and he did. I did not chase after him like I usually would. He came back 5 minutes later ( I left the door unlocked). I asked him "What do you want, you must really miss me or something" He responded "What if I said I do?" I immediately caved and told him how I felt. I told him I missed him and I thought of him everyday. I told him that I wanted us more than anything. We had sex, and the next day we went out he seemed miserable to be with me. Later that day he told me that maybe we should stop talking. I was shocked! I asked him why did he come over, he told me that he did not want us to have any problems. I do not get that, if we aren't talking we would practically strangers right? How would there possibly be any problems if I am not talking to him or about him and vice versa. I asked him why did he have sex with me? He told me it just happened, sex is just sex and I should get over it. I itched a scratch for him. I degraded myself once again and showed him that I did not have any respect for myself, and to make it worse. I begged for another chance. I told him I have learned my lesson, that I will never hurt him that way ever again. He said that I have BEEN saying that, what make this time any different. I told him that I have had months to think about my actions, that it is totally different because he actually broke up with me, that I know what is on the line now. I never thought he would leave but now I know. He agreed to give me a chance. I felt somewhat better. I went on my fake account and snooped again. I saw that he had just got off of work, and he was wondering if anyone wanted to hang out because he claimed to be bored. I called him and asked him what he was up to, I acted surprised to hear him say that he was off work. I asked if he wanted to hang out or something. He told me that he was tired and that he was going to stay in that night. On his facebook, an hour or two later, he was tagged at some place downtown, and took pictures with his friends. So basically he lied to me, but I can not confront him because that fake facebook account is not me, to him it is someone else. I blocked him from calling me and texting me out of frustration. I could not call or text either. I let a day go by before curiosity got the best of me. I snooped again, I really wish I never created this fake page in the first place. I saw that his mother was in the hospital. I was very close to his mother, so I unblocked him and called. He answered, my heart started beating hard, I love the sound of his voice when he answers the phone. I asked if everything was okay? I asked if he was alright and his mom as well. He told me everything was fine, but then asked how I knew his mother was in the hospital. I lied and said that a specific mutual friend told me. I knew he would cover for me if my ex had asked him. He then asked if I blocked him, and that he was frustrated because he tried to reach me. He wanted to tell me about some UFO in the sky (because we were into that type of thing) that he think he might've saw, and he told me no one would believe him but me. He asked me "Why talk about getting comfortable just to block me the next day? That's not cool." We had casual convo, I was happy. He asked to stop by, I said sure. He didn't come in, I got in the car with him. Another round of casual convo. He left, and I was content with things. The next day, I woke up early, cooked him some cinnamon rolls because he is crazy over them, went outside and picked a flower from the garden and made a home made card for him and told him to come over. He stopped by for literally a few minutes and received the card and the baked goods. Before he left, he told me that I could call his mom, check on how she is doing (when before he told me to don't even think about calling his mother again because I am no longer family anymore). I was overjoyed to hear him say that. He left, and another day I was happy. The next day I did not contact him first, around 2pm he did. He told me the cinnamon rolls were delicious and he thanked me. We text back and forth and we joked around. I thought that maybe I did it! Maybe I fixed things and I could finally start showing him how I have changed. The next two days we did not speak at all. I started reading relationship advice and blogs, forums etc.. Some of them told me that NC DOES NOT WORK! That what makes you think that a partner would keep interest in you if you are not in the picture, especially if I am the one at fault. I panicked and called the next day. I explained to him that I want to try to get more comfortable with each other, and that I wish to try a relationship with him only with time. He seemed okay to what I had to say. Every day I started the contact. We would talk, normally or so I thought. I always had this weird feeling going on that he didn't want to. But why respond if he did not want to? We texted, occasional talk every now and then. I rushed out and bought his mom a Mother's Day gift, I asked him first though. Then I posted this thread on ENA, and it discouraged me to no end It is titled I am tired of being an ex. I refuse to follow no contact. I thought that I had the right idea by trying to prove to him that I am a positive person and that I am not as negative as I used to be in our relationship. EVERYONE SHOT MY IDEAS DOWN. I was scared. So for the past 3 days it have been no contact, and that is where I am right now... on the third day of no contact, desperately typing out my feelings here. I snooped just about an hour ago on his page, it turns out he is going on vacation out of state. Do you not think that that is something that he should have told me if we were working on getting comfortable. Why agree to work on us if he doesn't even want to talk to me. If he wanted to, I wouldn't be the one initiating first contact all the time. Here is what I have learned, and here is also what scares me. Despite how negative the poster are on ENA, if 88 out of 90 posts are telling me to leave him alone, then I guess I should get the hint. As you said pushing him for responses, and texting him again when he does not text back is only pushing him away. I also found out that I am filling a void for him. I am helping him move on because he have the familiarity of texting me, getting my responses and it somewhat (for lack of a better word) "soothing" to him. I am somewhat in the friend zone. He has the comfort of texting me, while he has no strings attached to me what so ever. So basically he can text me, and the proceed to see another woman if he wanted to. He has the ball completely in his court. He can see another woman if I was talking to him or not, regardless of what I do. Now I understand that no contact is to heal and improve myself. It is not to get him back. I understand that. But the goal is to improve myself and possibly get him back. I just want him back to the point I will do any and everything. I think I messed up too much though. Maybe if I stuck to no contact in the beginning hope would be there. I seriously doubt that he would knock on my door again, or even say the things he did before. I am so freaking depressed over this whole thing please. Someone snap me out of this depressed stage please!! For some reason, I find it hard to picture him contacting me
  13. Hi.been seeing small little signs thats made me feel really insecure in my relationship lately i just feel with my gut that alls not well an there may be someone else on the scene...ive started a new job..an our sex life has become non existant lately...an she always asks when im home ...ive noticed small little things which i wont go into that are beginning to add up ..just now im in work and on a quick break..im texting her..an i get this random text..calling?? I text back an say whats that mean..an she replies its a predictive text error...i hit random buttons as i put down the fone an the fone sent this to u! Now...i know its a small thing but...im thinkin thats meant for someone else an was sent to me instead. Just a lot of things really dont add up lately and im thinkin its time for a chat...about where we stand . Before i do..just need a bit of advice..am i being paranoid or does that sound like its a typical text error??
  14. I know that everyone is different and what may be forgivable to one may not be forgivable to the another, But I am curious what things do you think are forgivable (whether that forgiveness comes right away or takes time) or is just so bad that no time can mend the wound, I recently lost a friend, I lost her for basically two reasons I overdid it and sent two many messages and texts and she blocked me, That may or may not be unforgivable, What I do think is unforgivable however is what I did AFTER that I was desperate to move on but I just had to make sure she at least saw a letter I wrote so I opened up an old facebook I closed and posted it on her wall (I said nothing bad but that does not matter) and she and I no longer speak to me. I did walk up to her after 3 weeks of no talking and told her that I am sorry (Nothing else I was afraid I would take away from the apology and I said I know you never want to speak to me again and I will leave you alone.(The next day something weird happened because she smiled at me and I awkwardly smiled back but said nothing and I am going to keep my promise and leave her alone; BUT MY STORY WHICH I POSTED ELSEWHERE IS DONE I used what happened to me (Well more to the point what I did wrong) as an example of things that are forgivable and not forgivable. So What DO YOU think is forgivable and what is not? Have a great day
  15. I need help. I have a strange, deep, nonsexual connection to a friend I recently met. I’m trying to stop these feelings, but it’s so hard because I love him. It's such a weird, unexplainable feeling I have for him I know that sounds gay, but I’m not gay. It’s making me so confused. Here’s my story: About a year ago I moved into a new condo and met a guy who I instantly knew was just like me. We are both married with kids. We are loud and funny, enjoy the same type of inappropriate humor, and we think the same type of way. When I first met him, we didn’t connect, but I knew we would. After a few months of the casual “hello”, we met up for lunch, but I had no idea that my life was about to change. Eventually we found ourselves hanging out ALL of the time, texting each other all day, meeting up several nights out of the week to drink, and workout. We went to basketball games, concerts, and bars together, and occasionally met up for lunch. I met his close friends and he’s met mines. When we see each other, we would get so excited and hug each other. We have so many similarities that it’s crazy. Sometimes it feels like he’s much more than just a friend. It’s like he’s my other half. People might think we have a homosexual relationship, I know his wife did at one point, but it was nothing like that at all. I never had a sexual thought about him. It was just a pure, instant bizarre connection that developed. To say the least, I’m in love with that guy. It’s weird, confusing and driving me crazy. The feelings I have for him are strange, and I’m trying to process it but I just don’t know how. We were becoming inseparable. He told me before that if I moved he would cry. And he told me several times that he loved me. When we were hanging out with other people, he even told them that he loved me. It’s like saying I love you is becoming normal for us and hugging is becoming normal. NEVER have I done this with a friend or even my brother. I can tell that his wife doesn’t approve of how close we are. One time, in a moment of comfort, he told his young daughter to start calling me Uncle. I mentioned it in front of his wife. She had the biggest look of disgust and I could tell she did not approve of it. She doesn’t get or like the closeness we have. She even said that the way he talks to me is strange; apparently he doesn’t talk to his other friends in the same manner. However, it doesn’t bother my wife at all. She knows him and I are close, but she is more secure than his wife. But she tells me all the time that when she’s outside, she sees him looking down at our house looking for me. I know he does that because I do the same exact thing. My life changed when I fell in love with him and I’m scared and confused. Having this close relationship with him is a blessing and a curse. A blessing to have experienced another form of love that I know is so rare and intense, yet a curse because it makes me vulnerable and confused, so I want it to end. I search online how to fall out of love with someone. lol. I also search how to stop having an emotional attachment with someone. I want to just be his normal friend and not have this bizarre connection. Let me explain further: I find myself missing him when he’s not around, thinking about him ALL of the time, getting jealous when he’s hanging with other friends. This is not normal behavior. I just want to be his friend, but it feels like he’s something more that I can’t explain. I want to be okay when he hangs with other people. He tells me that he doesn’t want to go hang out with his other friends if I don’t go. And he’s known his other friends a couple years before he met me. I want us to be okay with being separated for a long period of time. When I’m away on business trips or family vacations, he text me telling me how much he misses me. I want to text him telling him I miss him when he’s away, but I always decide not to, I don’t want our connection to intensify so I keep it to myself. But when we get back we both light up because we missed each other so much. I can’t help but to feel that way. I just control these feelings. So, I do my best to stay away, but he keeps coming around me, and I to him because we are just drawn to each other. It feels comforting being around him and it’s really hard for me to fight it. I don’t understand why my bond with him so intense and deep, much more deep than with my siblings. I don’t want it to be that way. I’ve noticed that it helps when he’s away on vacation or business trips and it helps when I hang with other people without him, I’m better able to suppress my feelings. I go hang out and workout with different buddies. It makes him jealous but I have to do it because it helps me get over whatever thing I have for this guy. But when we meet up and hang out, it’s like the world stops, like there’s no care or worry in the world. And it only makes me love him stronger than before. He lives too close for me to cut him out completely, but if we didn’t live so close, I think I would be better able to end it. I’m tired of looking out my window wondering when he’s coming home, or thinking about him all day, or getting excited when he text me. I live so close to him, why do we even text when we are at work? Why do I want to talk to him or hear from him EVERY day? He’s making me crazy in the head, because sometimes I get jealous when we’re hanging with other people. I know I shouldn’t be and that’s part of the reason I need to end these feelings. He makes me question whether or not he’s my friend or if he acts this way to everyone else. I over analyze every situation. Like when other people are around talking, it seems like he forgets about me and talks more to the other person, but that could be my emotions playing tricks on my mind. So I’m like, okay, he’s just a friendly guy and he treats everyone the same way, so there’s nothing special between us. But then I wonder, does he text other people so much? Did he ask them to go to this game before he asked me? He’s making me CRAZY. Again, I’m not gay. We never even came close to having sex, nor will we EVER do that, and that’s part of the confusion. It would be easier to comprehend if I were sexually attracted to him, but I’m just not. I read online that there is a rare type of friendship that can be very intense and filled with deep love, but can anyone give advice on how to handle it? I could REALLY use some help!
  16. Hi,new to this forum. Sry it's a long text I know. When I use to have friends (Either female or male) at the first stages, we are equally interested in the discussion, maybe they are more interested than me, but after a while this is just me sending messages, they won t start a conversation until I start. I text more than them and don t use strategy in my relationships but I feel they (especially females) do. I m an over thinker, I use strategic thinking all the day but never wanted to use them in relationships because I found relationships somewhere to get out of my "logic zone" and I say it to myself if I should use strategies in relationships too, so why shouldn t I continue being alone? Right now, I m in a relationship with one of my classmates which is a female(university) and she replies late, 1-2 days later and the problem is she never texts me until I do. Should I choose the split option now? And what about other friendships(Not sure if it is a "friendship" ???!!!) I m having right now which are exactly like my relationship with the one I described above? I'm 23, I have had girlfriends older than me(29-30 y.o) and they were a lot more interested in talking with me than my classmates. Well my appearance isn't that bad to cause me to be ignored, I'm also a valedictorian in my university and I'm not talking with proud about it but I felt my classmates(females) were curious about me, but again it happens everytime, I go into relationship and I rage quit the way I described above. IDK what's wrong with me or them? The energy distribution is like 95 % I give and 5 % I receive! 😕 it happens all the time. If it even matters, I don't live in the US. My question aside from seeking for help on this , is : What should I do with my relationshlts* I'm having right now. I have online friends but they won't text me until I send a message, and I feel my energy and commitment is not being reciprocated.
  17. me and my ex were together for 6 yrs on and off and 3 months ago we broke up but kept in contact, everytime we start trying everything will be fine then she will say we need to go our separate ways then a few days later she will end up texting and hanging out then bam say it again . well this past weekend she slept over 4 nights in a row everything finally seemed we were heading in the right direction had a great time together and the next day she texts me saying i just dont wanna do this anymore your my comfort zone and thats isnt ok... i dont nderstand how we could have such a great weekend and her sleeping over all weekend then the next day say that too me and that we need to go our separate ways and that shes sorry... im very hurt and confused... can someone please give me so advice or opppions... p.s. we had very long talks before she said this before started staying over those 4 nights we talked ofr 2 hrs and discussed us , i asked the big important questions in my eyes .. if she loved me? if shes attracted to me??? she said yes i said please be honest even if it hurts me, she said said she was being on honest and would tell me even if it would hurt me, she said she was scared for it to fail again and wishes she had a guarentee.... i know her mom disappoves of us and thats where shes living since she moved out 3 months ago, and her father told me who doesnt live in the household that her mother is the one putting things in her head.....
  18. Ok so long story short.Ive done a couple of medium length jail bids since late 2014.Specifically Nov. 2014-Feb 2015,Aug. 2015-May 2016,June 2016 July 2016-July 2016,September 2016-Feb. 2017,and Aug.2018-Oct.2018I know it seems like allot but most of them were for stupid probation violations for dirty urines and things like that. I've been with my wife since I was 12 yr old I'm now 25 she's 27 and we have 3 daughters together. Pretty much every time I left I gave her an out and told her she could leave if she wanted, especially before the Sept 2016-Feb 2017 bid. I begged her to leave me before she cheats because I just found out before that she cheated when I was away for 3 weeks during June 2016. Every time she told me no I love you I'll Never leave you I dont care if you had life your my world and all of that good stuff.I Never really found anything crazy out until I came home July 2016 after 3 weeks when I seen a guy blocked on her Facebook that I knew but didn't think she even knew he existed. I asked her. She said he wouldn't leave her alone while I was away so she blocked him out of respect for me. Well I confronted the kid for coming at my wife after beIN turned down multiple times.turne out I was wrong. 2 days after I left she started liking all his pictures,he noticed so he messaged her. 2 weeks later she's having sex with him on my couch in my living room,on the eve of Father's day also,and my kids woke up to a strange man in mommy's bed on what was supposed to be Father's day. I forgave her for it. So that's why I stressed for her to leave mre when I went back in Sept cuz I didn't want to feel that pain again. She assured me things would be fine. Fast forward I come home. Thing are great for about 6 months until I notice a number texting her phone every day multiple times and she didn't reply.long story short it was a male nurse she worked with at her hospital and according to our cell phone records. She started texting him 3 days after I left and it never stopped until the day before I got released. They both deny any physical contact outside of a few kisses before leaving work. They said their schedules jus didn't match up and never got together. So I went on her google account history and I found searches like "why are male nurses always so.horny", "best way to give a blowjob",and "something sexually dirty to say to someone". And "porn" now I had no idea that my wife would ever watch porn everytime she found porn on my browser history she called me back pervert and scum an while I was gone she was looking It up a few times a week.i jus don't understand why it feels like I don even know this girl who is Makin these searches.domt get me wrong we really do have great sex but she's never went that above and beyond to make sure that its great.Now all that is this. My wife is not what I consider an overly sexual person. She doesn't shoot me sexy texts during the day she doesn't rlly talk about sex in an excplicit manner or anything like that. She gives me head but she let's it known she dont like to do it and I almost always have to do something to her first to get her revved up to want to do it. And lastly never in our long relationship have we sexted each other. I may have gotten a handful of naked photos through the years but I've had to ask for every single one. She's never texted me saying what she wants to do to me or me to her or anything like that. Then why would she step out of her comfort zone for him. Even tho we been together since kids we both have had multiple other partners through high school and the blowjob search really hit my heart because it took a long time to get her to do that to me on a regular basis. It feels more intimate to me than sex and she doesn't jus go around blowing anybody. But the betrayal comes from how she knows I would feel if I found out she gave. Him a blowjob. That would hurt worse than sex. And mostly everyone including her and my own family say that I deserved it all and I did it to myself an all that. Is that true? Do I deserve it? Or did she cross the line after she vowed to stay faithful just weeks after being caught unfaithful before. Then the last time I went away from Aug 2018 to Oct 2018 I found out that she went to the bar drinking almost every weekend I was gone which wouldn't be a problem but she didn't tell me while I was gone. And I haven't been out to the bar with my wife in years. It seem like she only goes out when I'm not home. Like when I leave she is a whole different person.i left august 14 she was at the bar till 4 in the morning by the 18th. Am I crazy or is she taking the freedom a little too far. I'd like to go out an have fun with her. But I have no choice but to think she dont take me out because she cant do what she usually does when she out if I'm there. It just hurts. I have a drug problem I'm not just some criminal. And I've always been faithful to her and love her so much. I jus want her to do the same. But going and pretty much fishing to cheat 2-3 days after I leave is a little much. Please give me some help or advice. I have no friends or family to go to and this eats me up inside.
  19. Hello everyone I haven't been active in this forum for a very long time because of the many obligations I have had during this year. I live in Europe. Now I am a graduated medical doctor working as a general doctor. Excuse my spelling mistakes english is my second language. I think the last time I posted in here is a year ago or a year and a half ago when I was not yet engaged and had other relationship issues, since then things have been going pretty well overall. My boyfriend and I got engaged 6 months ago. I'll just cut to the chase of the problem: My fiancé is also a doctor and one of the staff members at his work was going to retire and so they organised a staff dinner party. At first my fiance said he didn't feel like going and was not planning to, then the next day we met he said that he had decided to go because he didn't want to stand out as the only one that does not go. I was like ok that's cool. It was about 5pm when we had met for coffee and the dinner was starting at 8. As we were chatting he getts a text message reads it, and immediately erases it but writes something back before deleting it. He thinks I didn't notice that he did that. So I didn't say anything because I wasn't quite sure what went on. We continued our conversation and he again got a text, but this time before deleting it again I told him hey why won't you put your phone on the table who is texting you. He was like I asked a nurse when the dinner party was starting. (This nurse is someone that has a crush on my fiancé he even admited it ). I took my fiancé's phone and read the text and she had wrote "let's meet for coffee before the dinner party and then we'll go to the dinner party together". I was so upset. I told him why he had to ask excatly this nurse that has a crush on him when he could have asked a million other staff members on what time the dinner party starts. He said that he asked others and they hadn't yet responded and that she is his friend and can talk easier to her. I told him he knew when the dinner party starts and that was just an excuse to find out if this nurse will be at the dinner party and also an excuse to make plans with her on going to the dinner party together and have coffee with her before that. Once I found out, he then wrote a text back to her to tell her that he will be going straight to the dinner party meaning that he will not meet her before the dinner party but will go straight there alone. I was still very angry why he would accept on making plans with a nurse that clearly is interested in him (eventhough he is engaged to me). And told him he is sneaky because he deleted her message before my face. He said he knew I would get upset she was texting him and that's why he had to delete it. I told him I am very upset that he was the first one that texted her asking her what time the dinner party was when he could of asked any other colleague. I told him that he had iniciated the conversation of course she will respond. And also told him why would he text and make plans with a nurse that he knows and everyone knows that she clearly has a crush on him !!!! He said that the plan wasn't just him and the nurse meeting beforehand and that if they would have met another man colleague would be coming, it wouldn't have been just the two of them. But I didn't buy that. P.s. it never bothers me when she texts him for work related issues. I am SO angry I don't know what to do. I feel betrayed 😥 I told him if he is bored by me or wants to break off the egagement he should just say so he doesn't have to do things behind my back. He said I am being unreasonably jealous and acting schizophrenic !! I am also angry about his namecalling towards me.
  20. I have been going through a motivational slump off-late, and it hit me a few days ago when I saw how I had wasted the weekend. I text my Mom to share this with her, and my Dad chimes in and gives me a long sermon about what would help my mental woes. While it was all good, healthy stuff he was telling me, I was really not in the head space to listen to any of it and I was kind of worn out by the call. I video call my fiance and joke about how Dads are always the ones to give us the "Dad talk" when we go to them with problems. His Dad is kind of similar, and we share a couple of jokes. My fiance has always been a very humorous, laid-back, loving personality. Although we live around 1000 miles apart, we talk so much throughout the day and he always greets me so lovingly that the distance isn't as palpable. Now during this phone call, he asks me what my Dad said. I start to tell him about how my Dad suggests waking up early in the morning. He starts to make a joke alluding to how I am a late-riser, which I am. He makes a couple more jokes which I do not even remember, but by now I start to get a little miffed and I tell him "It's late, go to sleep if you are feeling sleepy." I know that's a very passive aggressive way of saying I did not want to talk. A little while later, my phone starts acting up and I explain to him what's going on how this is a recurring phenomenon. My history with poor-quality phones is kind of a running joke with him and my family, so he starts laughing and joking about this one. By now, I am really annoyed and I repeat the same line as before, and I am sure my face looks pissed, too. After that, I have basically checked out of the conversation, telling him to go to sleep. He senses this, then abruptly says good night and cuts the call and I go to bed.The whole of the next day, I decide to not text him as I am still a little angry from our previous conversation. Finally, the day after, thinking this is a silly conflict to be mad about, I message him. He says he had wanted to give me space and just let me be the previous day. I ask him if he is mad. He says he isn't, just realized he needs to be more serious about a lot of things. I notice a tonal shift later in the day when we talk. Not wanting to push this under the carpet, I open up the conversation again, admitting that while I was definitely annoyed and some of my rage may have been spawned from a bad mood, I would never want to hurt him this way. He says it's nothing to do with me and he's just reflecting on how he needs to be more serious in life in general. I do not know if this is a permanent change or a phase. I do not want to tell him how to behave, but I miss his old self. Any advice? Edit: A couple of details I forgot to mention: I apologized to him during the last conversation. I told him I fully remembered how I reacted, and I am sorry I caused this hurt and this reflection. I also told him I am not going to dictate his behavior, but humor is part of who he is, and that I do not want to be the person who caused it to wane. I repeatedly said sorry and that I should not have behaved that way. Also, in the past, I always tell him that I am either not in the mood for a joke, or that he is taking it too far. I prefer to be tactful in communication. This time, I was having a low moment and was not in the most rational frame of mind. While I was at fault, it's not a behavioral pattern.
  21. I know that for many women it doesn't matter but for me it does! I want the guy to open the car door for me. How do I make him know without actually telling him (which would be weird because we have just gone on one date) Why doesn't he do it? I mean to open the car door when I'm about to get in the car. Any suggestions? Also why would he prefer to text instead of calling?? I"m shy but he is not..
  22. Okay so recently I have started to notice that my girlfriend has decided to call me every night before she goes to bed which kind of annoys me since she knows I have a boat load of homework and things to study for each night since I'm taking two high level maths and an online course. She could tell I didn't want to talk on the phone the other night because she noticed how I rushed the conversation. I am not trying to be mean to her but i'd prefer just to text her that way I can focus and multitask more efficiently. She gets very upset if I don't say I love you back to her as well even though she says it a million times to me, as I told her I say it when the moment is right and not copious amount of times. My problem or question is, that am I wrong for feeling this way? for being annoyed at my girlfriend for calling me every night before she goes to bed even though she knows I'm busy doing homework?
  23. Hello I haven't been on here in a while. First of all I have previously been in relationships where I have not been respected and I am growing more aware. Few months ago, I took up exercising in the local park- its so beautiful and I like going to clear my head and think things through and be in nature. During my jogs, I met a lady who struck up conversation, she lives locally and we struck up a friendship, she seemed lovely- I used to go 4 x a week, but I said we could jog together on the weekends when I'm a little more relaxed about time as weekdays I'm on a routine. Since we met, we have jogged nearly every weekend since summer. Now my life is quite busy as I typically have 50-60 , hour weeks , I work from home and study full time. My weekends are not free as that's when I do the bulk of my studying as I work in the week. I was lucky to be accepted on a program that I never thought I would be accepted on so I am really careful to keep my grades up. here's the issue , I have mentioned that its not typical that I am free every weekend- In the summer I was, now I'm at school and juggling my work and deadlines Im not always available on the weekends. she's married /kids and would prefer later run, 10-11am, we compromised at 8.30am. She has given the option to work out at her place, we tried, there isn't enough space plus she had kids and she keeps going off to attend to them. Im time conscious so I told her I prefer we stick to running. I felt like I want to protect my intention to run- I didn't make the intention to work out at someone else place. I can do this at home. I have thanked her for the invite every time she has opened her home to workouts. Recently, I've had back to back deadlines and some personal issues arise which I need mental space to clear. I have met her every other week, not every week and usual and this has caused a lot of friction between us, through snarky comments and "jokes" about me being away for over a "year" . I sense suppressed anger behind these jokes and I am unsure why such anger should arise. When we do run, she brings up a strong a heavy topic towards the end of our run, so its hard to cut off when she starts talking about something deeply personal.this extends the run by 10-20 minutes. I once got woken at 5am and I had 10 missed calls every few minutes from 5am! This was when I sensed the shift. She then proceeded to tell me she would come and knock if I didn't answer. I called and it was just to confirm the time of our meeting. I have started to feel her "pull" on me, e.g wanting to text back and forth during the week, her texts "feel" angry , one word answers if I don't constantly update. When its not an emergency, I end messages with "enjoy the rest of your day" to signal the end of conversation , especially after we've just been together for almost an hour. I genuinely do work and study 10-12 hour days! I make time to catch up with my friends every other month, im ok without daily contact from my friends. I take time to let people in, I am happy to let friendship slow burn but Im feeling an anger from her- because I keep pumping the breaks. I don't want her to introduce me to her single friends- she had hinted at a singles evening and I said I'm not ready to date so I won't attend but I hope she and her single friends have fun. The event didn't happen, which makes me think it was targeted at me. Lastly, I don't feel like I should rush anyone's energy into my life. I take my time and I don't feel entitled to anyone else time or energy. I have felt a massive knot in my stomach and nausea when I think of her and this wasn't there before Im intuitive and Im feeling something off- I find myself explaining why I cant do this or that or why I don't want to go to this event or dinner. I hate that I feel the need to explain myself. I feel pulled on. I feel a knot and a sinking feeling in my stomach when I think of her. Somethings shifted with her and I can feel it. I cancelled our run for the next couple weeks as I have started working out in my own space- alone- with time to think and clear my head and reset my energy. Energetically, I feel invaded. Im thinking of fading away. Perspective please?
  24. So I (35M) met a very nice girl on Tinder 1,5 months ago. We already knew each other from over 10 years ago but have not talked since we were younger. Our conversation was awesome from the very beginning, she initiated conversations, shared pictures of her daily life etc. After the first date she said she definately wanted to meet again and so we did. I spent a evening and night with her (no sex) and it was wonderful, I actually think I let myself fall in love with her at that point. I thought we were moving in a good direction but I started to get other thoughts very soon. After I spent night at her house, I noticed she did not initiate any conversation anymore on WA but she replied to me anyway. I asked her out to a restaurant and we agreed to meet in a few weeks time (before christmas). Because I had a gut feeling that something was wrong, I also asked how she felt about us right now. She said she has had very nice time with me but it is too soon to say where we are heading as couple and wants to take things slow. I was somehow devasted because I had misread the situation so badly and let my guards down too soon and my heart was again taking a hit. I never knew it was possible to get hurt after such a extremely short period of time but here we are. What is interesting that we have not even separeted our ways (officially) but I still kinda FEEL she ended things there. My head is a complete mess now. We have not talked for a couple days (never went this many days without contact before) and we still have booked a date in a few weeks time. What should I do? Should I totally forget about her or maybe be there for her and text her every now and then? I also fear that I will grow resentment and that would destroy everything.
  25. Hello everyone, This is my first post, I'm going through a tough patch. Im sure some of you experienced this and can help. Im 25 yr old M. I was with my "ex" for 1 year and 2 months. So not so long, but to keep it short she had broken up with me because I had a tough few months working on my new business and really putting in a lot of hours into work and not into our relationship. She ended things in the beginning of Sept, and Beg of November I decided to text her and give it one last chance. Im posting the texts here. let me know what you guys think!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Me Hey, free tonight to talk? Ex There’s nothing to talk about ! Me i understand, just thought i’d reach out. Sorry to bother Ex What did you want to talk about ? I don’t get it Me Just i think i made you sad. I miss you. As well there was no definite bad stuff between me and you, so we didn’t end on bad terms. Ex I did everything for you, i did my best and eventually it was time i leave a relationship that wasn’t meant for me. I wasn’t appreciated & I hope you learn from ur mistakes Me I understand it was your time to leave. Live and learn then. Thank you for appreciating me. Then no answer its been couple days now, What's the next move.
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