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About Me

  1. New to this forum but have actually read quite a lot on the ex back and NC topics. Long story very short... 6-year relationship, she's 19 years younger... call me a cradle-snatcher, but we really understood each other for most of those 6 years. Lived together for 2 years. I should have seen it coming as all the signs were there and she actually tried to tell me many times - only I didn’t (want to) hear it :-(. She moved away in March this year but we saw each other every couple of days and she’d spend at least one night of each week. 8 weeks ago she just called it quits. Was a very cold shower and total surprise. I was upset at first and didn’t talk to her for two days, then we texted some there and back. But she was suddenly a different person - cold, non-understanding, not willing to talk about anything. All the usual stuff that you read about that a dumper does after the fact. I called her once but all I got was a brick wall. Sent a long email asking for some explanation and if we could work it out. Not sure she even read it. As I suspected, there is also a guy at play that she has been seeing / flirting with (maybe) since April. Not sure I would call this a rebound but I believe at some point in June, she would be torn between the two of us - more inclining to the new guy (for all the obvious reasons). She did keep in irregular contact a few times a week after that - saying she wants to stay friends as she cares too much for me and I mean a lot in her life. Kept telling her I am not her friend because simply I feel more than that. I went and read tons of stuff (never really been dumped in my life, haha). Went NC 4 weeks ago. Immediately started doing stuff - I’m not short of hobbies - do lots of sports but added a gym and personal trainer to occupy the mind and tire the body. Been playing the piano and guitar a lot lately (after many many years), been playing computer games in the evenings, reading advice on this forum and elsewhere. She contacted me after 2 weeks, asking to see me, which I (a bit reluctantly) agreed to, I said I would bring her magazines that were delivered for her to our place. I was never mean to her, only a bit cold I’d say. We met at Starbucks and I was trying to be upbeat and not display any sense of urgency, pleading or anything. Tried to look real busy at work (which I actually am now). She didn’t say why she wanted to meet - maybe she didn’t feel the situation was good or maybe she just wanted to meet as buddies over coffee, don’t know… She acted a bit annoyed, especially later when she asked if I was going to come to our sports trainings and events and I said I didn’t plan to. She also seemed a bit pressed for time towards the end, though she said she had plenty. I am sure she went to see the other guy right after that and maybe didn’t want to keep him waiting. We parted ways with a hug. I wanted to kiss her like I used to but she just wanted a friendly kiss, which I said no to. So we just hugged a bit more and she left. I texted her later saying it was good to see her and she should stay in touch if she wants to. She texted back that obviously I can’t have contact with her now so it’s me who needs to stay in touch. I said maybe she could come over one night to watch our favourite TV show. She said she’d like that. I left it at that and went back to NC. She texted again a week later (yesterday actually), calling me my sweetheart name and saying that a new series of our favourite show would be screening next Monday. I replied (nicely) that I would definitely watch! And she said - “you definitely should”.
  2. Heyho, I've (F18) recently met this guy (M23) when I was on vacation like 6h away from my home. I developed a crush on him and responded to his Instagram story. He answered pretty quickly for a few times (we were chatting via Instagram direct messages) and then he just stopped and didn't answer for like two days. I was bummed. But then, he replied to my Instagram story and asked me something about it, he complimented the drawings I upload on my insta and he even commented something on an old drawing of mine. Then I texted him back - he saw the message pretty quickly but hasn't responded for around five hours now. He's just giving me mixed signs, leaving me on read but then being interested and complimenting me? What do you guys think about that? Also, I'll probably get the chance to interact with him over discord soon (in a group) since he's 'gaming friends' with my sister. I didn't talk to him a lott on vacation so do you think it'll help if i talk to him more? Thanks in advance 🙂
  3. Hi all, First time poster here to this great website, it has helped me through some tough times. My (ex?) girlfriend and I had some rough times recently and kind of drifted apart. We've been together 4 years and living together that long too. As things became bad there before and after Christmas she decided it was best she moved out to take some time out and get her head straight on us. I fully agreed and helped her move out, all very amicable. She insisted that it wasn't a break-up and that we should just spend some time apart. We both agreed on this. I told her that I thought it would be best that we weren't in contact for the two months so we could really see what it would be like without being in each other's lives. She wasn't overly keen on this but once I explained this to her she understood and accepted. During the first week I got a few texts from her regarding stuff she needed and I would give a single reply. If any post arrived I'd just forward it to her new address. A few weeks into the break I posted her something and she sent a 'thank you' text to which I didn't reply. A few days after that she sent me an angry text that I hadn't replied and that she hoped that nothing else arrived in the post that I would have to forward to her. I replied to this basically stating that I was only doing what we had agreed before she moved out and that if any more post came for her I'd gladly forward it to her, never a problem. That was our last communication, 5 weeks ago and this weekend marks 8 weekends since she moved out. I do miss her. And I think we could make it work again. I'm just wondering if this NC thing was a bad idea as we hadn't actually broken up and were just taking a break. I have no idea what she is up to these days at all. I imagine that she will contact me to meet up next week when the two months have passed. I just wonder if anyone has advice or experience of something like this. Thanks for reading my post. Regards, JimDandy
  4. Hello, I have planned to text to my crush for the first time, since I am going to get his number but I am afraid of giving her a bad impression, I plan to tell her: Hi, I'm… we were at the same school and I always wanted to meet you And I don't know what else to add to her, at high school I always wanted to talk to her, but I always was nervous so I never spoke to her, now that I can get her number I'm afraid of giving her a bad impression. I would also like you to advise me what to answer if she asks me: Why do you want to meet me? How did you get my number? Among other hypothetical questions ... And well I'm definitely going to talk to her, I don't want to regret never having to spoken to her, she is a spectacular girl, since I saw her something attracted me to her and unfortunately I never spoke to her because I always scared of talk to her since I was an immature teenager but I have grown up and I want to take that step to meet her. And sorry English is not my mother language.
  5. Hi everyone! I'm in major need of advice. So. on June 10-17 I was out of town for work purposes. When I got back later that week I grabbed my boyfriends laptop to play a movie and his e-mail was on the screen. There was one particulare email that stood out to me so I opened it. It was a back and forth email with a prostitute/escort. I confronted him about this and he felt very ashamed and swears nthing happed that he was just curious and extremly horny and desperate while I was away since we hadnt had sex for a 1 1/2 weeks. Let me also add that the reason we hadnt been sexual was becasue we were going thru issues. He had missed my brothers wedding in order to go hang with friends in NY. So obviousl y I was mad. I immediatly ended this with him because it was very hurtful to see this! especially since after my trip we had been very intimate and loving so I didnt undertsand where the needs were coming from? despite this we worked thru things and everything had been going great. Until today. 7.17.19. I happened to go on his computer and saw he had 11 unread texts. So i opened Imessages and saw that during the days i was away not only did he e-mail, but was texting! multiple conversations. again he swears he didnt meet up with anyone and i believe him, but im just so torn!!! I love him so much and I know he loves me as well! i see it. its very confusing to see the man i Love do this. I feel like thats not MY guy. we've been together for 3 years and live together. What should I do?
  6. I met a guy through an app not related to dating. It was just to make foreigner friends. We starting texting everyday on Instagram and later on whatsapp. We texted like four hours at least everyday. He is Indian and I am Spanish. I feel his values and morals are similar to mine, unlike most guys in Spain. We similar mindset about life about many things, although we may differ in certain things too of course. After like four months talking we confessed we liked each other although it was obvious before. When we had been seven months talking my cousin asked me if I wanted to do volunteering in India and I accepted cause I had always wanted to do volunteering abroad and also cause it was a good idea to meet him. We just met for three days and it was very good, we liked each other in person too and we kissed. As I thought it was normal the next step should be start relashionsip, but he said no, that I should wait cause he only wanted to take the commitment if he had job. 'So till when I will have to wait?', I asked, 'till November', he said. Some things I like about him is that he respect me a lot and he is not jelaous, he always try to please me if I tell him something bothered me, he also is very attentive. What I don't like it is that he has trouble to show his feelings and with this thing of making me wait, there is not way to change his mind and that is making me rethink everything. I wonder if I want a relationship with him or not, cause I feel a man who truly wants a relationship doesn't let external factors decide no? Maybe I am wrong. I am very confused. Other problem is I want to talk with him but I have to wait a couple of days cause he doesn't want to talk about this topic with his parents there. That's why I want to clear my mind, decide if I want to be in relationship with him or not before we speak on video. If anyone has advice I will be forever grateful.
  7. I want to chronicle my journey, post-breakup so that hopefully ENAers current and in the future can use my story as a point of reference. I'll do my best to post here each day with how I'm feeling, doing, interactions, etc. My story? Senior in college. Mutually broke up with my girlfriend of 2.5 years six weeks ago. Neither of us were happy in the relationship anymore. We basically spent most of our free time together and over-time, that led to a toxic dynamic. We neglected our friends to be together. We just agreed that we loved and cared about each other and didn't want to totally ruin our dynamic by continuing at our current pace. We wanted time to work on ourselves and find happiness alone again before ever having a healty relationship again. Don't get me wrong. Our relationship was based off of a lot of love. She has still told me that she knows that she's going to marry me one day and that no one will ever treat her better than I did. Do I believe her? Well, I did and still somewhat do. No such thing as false hope because hope doesn't mean success. We've been through everything together from swine flu, to pregnancy scares, deaths in the family, mental breakdowns, hospital visits, going grocery shopping on a Friday night. We've pretty much experienced much more than you should in a 2.5 year time frame. The last six weeks? Hellish. I've asked for her back on four different occasions to only be rejected each time (Three of them were alcohol-enduced). After a few days passed by, I felt like we could handle the problems while in the relationship. Well, she didn't agree. She kept saying that she needed 'space'. So I've been in and out of NC. My longest period was for three weeks and I felt so much better. However, after I saw her at a bar and I was really drunk, I started to text her and ask for her back. This didn't go over well and I called and apologized to her today. Basically, my fear of loss has compelled me to do a lot of stupid things. I've out of character on more than one occasion. I can't cook, either. So that has sucked, a lottttt. Is there a rebound? Nope. She's not interested in dating anyone else. She has spent a ton of time with her friends, who are all single. Most were very envious of our relationship because it was so damn comfortable. Definitely could be a phase. Has she contacted me? Yep. The most recent time was last Wednesday. She texts me late at night. Like 12:30 am. And mind you, she is not a drinker. So these aren't drunk texts. These are 'I put my head on the pillow and think about you' texts. She's just a better actor than I am when disguising her feelings. I know she still cares about me. One of her last texts to me? 'I'm starting to feel like a normal person again'. Just goes to show that they hurt just as much as we do, post-breakup. Misc I removed her on Facebook awhile back. I don't take my cell phone when I go out to avoid drunk texting (bit me twice in the past). Her family absolutely loves me. Her brother still talks to me and often asks for my advice. Her mom came to visit two weeks ago and wanted to come over to see me. However, I was at work. She has 'checked in' on me a few times. I didn't really give her much information, but I didn't exactly blow her off. I feel like that is not productive if you want someone back who doesn't have a current boyfriend/fling. What Have I Done? Re-connect with old friends. Met lots of new friends. Go out, a lot. Meet new girls. Exercise like crazy. I've dropped 15 pounds over this six week period. I've really worked hard at my job and with my college work. Tried to do everything in my power to not think about her. Final Thoughts I miss this girl like crazy, but I'm slowly letting go. That's the only way you can get yourself back. I'd like to have her back someday, but not until I'm 100% happy again and she gets this whole phase out of her system. Hopefully this gave you an intro to my situation and feel free to chime in whenever. Just remember, when you love someone, you never give up. That doesn't mean you'll get them back, but if you truly love someone, you'll want them to always be happy. Your happiness, however, is always the top priority. Don't forget the push-pull dynamic. The more you push, the worse things will become. You can never 'pull' too much. The best gift you can give an ex? The gift of missing you. Go away. If you envision positive things, they'll happen for you.
  8. A girl left me in pending for like 3 or 4 days showing me that that person left me in pending for that time, so I was kinda going over it, but today I opened snapchat and it shows that I've been in pending for only like 23 hours. I just wanted to know if this could be a glitch or she actually added me back to Snapchat and unadded me for trying to call my attention or something like that. What do you guys think??
  9. Why do some guys wait for you to initiate, make plans or even text first? I have been on 3 dates in the past month and it's the same rigomor each time. Connections are really good, lots of talking, smiling and even an offer to hang out again, but no date set. They sit back and wait for you to get in touch & offer to meet up again. In 2 cases the guys sounded super enthused & the dates go great. But I do all the leading. Isn't that the man's job?
  10. Hey! I am an 18 yrs-old male who has been through one break-up before about a year ago (the first one is tough) and I never wanted to leave her, but she decided to end things. We are both in high school and she is 16 yrs. However, it’s been some time and I had recently gotten a new gf. The concerning thing to me is that I think it hurts her a bit because she posts on social media implying her feelings of being alone. I certainly don’t want this for her as a still care about her feelings but I wanted some advice—some insight—on whether I should send this song I wrote dedicated to her. Since we haven’t seen or spoken to the other in so long, I was curious on whether I should send it anonymously just to be a simple note of encouragement. Again, I don’t know what to do but I just wish to contact her in some way so that she receives further closure and make the healing process much easier. All advice is welcome—thank you! The Best For You - (Original) They always speak of the past, but I don’t know what for. Though I can’t help but wonder if I’d ever find a heart like yours, But truth says I could never—you’re irreplaceable. Your love is something to cherish—so embraceable. And I think you should know That, before I go, One day you’ll be someone’s everything Enough to make their heart sing. You can give the best of smiles, That will last their days awhile. And I hope you feel the same too, ‘Cause all I ever wanted for you Is to know what love can do And what it can do is the best for you! (Oh-oh, the best for you!) You know that sometimes good things weren’t always meant to be, But that won’t change the past, nor how much you meant to me. And forget you? I could never; your time is a treasure. I won’t be the only one whose heart you can change forever. And I think you should know That, before I go, One day you’ll be someone’s gold star, Who will love you for who you are. He’ll have you on top his mind, Thinking of you all the time. And I hope you feel it too, ‘Cause all I ever wanted for you Is to know what love can do And what it can do is the best for you! (Oh-oh, oh-oh the best for you!) Though it’s been some time, I had to deliver one last time ‘Cause I know that you deserve More than you know you’re worth. And I want you to know That, before I go, One day you’ll be someone’s world, His perfect, favorite girl. And I hope you know it too, ‘Cause all I ever wanted for you Is to know what love can do And what it can do it the best for you! (All-ll I ever wanted is the best for you)
  11. Me and my girlfriend have been going through a rough patch at the moment due to me developing health anxiety and minor depression and it has really taken a toll on us but she stuck with me through it all, I noticed a distance in her and we discussed and sorted it all out and we were on the road to being happy again. Last night I had an opportunity to read her messages as I knew she'd been texting a guy she slept with a long time ago (I know I shouldn't have gone through her phone but I was drunk and my anxiety got the better of me) there were some flirty texts there and I noticed when she wasn't replying or talking to me she had been chatting away to this guy in massive paragraphs and cheeky flirty messages such as talking about what she was wearing to an Ann summers party and saying she wished she was with him when he mentioned he wished she was there. I brought it up to her and she said it meant nothing and that was the way her and this guy had always talked to eachother, she acknowledged it was flirty and apologised saying she would cut all contact with him to which I said I don't want her to do that as I don't want to be the reason she loses a friend. Since this happened she has told me she thought nothing of what was said and she loves me and wants to do anything to make it up to me that she can and that the shady buisness stops here or our relationship does. The question is do I forgive her, I understand why she was pushed away due to our relationship troubles but I thought we were getting better, I'm just a bit confused and need someone to advise me on if I should end it now or forgive her and move on, If I trust her when she says nothing was going to come out it and she will never do it again I open myself up to being a pushover and it happening again and in my current head state I dont think I can do this again, somebody please help
  12. My ex and I were together for 8 years. 2 beautiful children under 5. Last couple years with stress of children, owning a home etc has been rough. We used to have a strong bond and thousands of great memories. We nearly broke up 3 months ago, when she was distant, and I discovered apartments rental applications in her browser history. We never had trust issues in the past. I told her she gave me no choice but to end things, and we argued for an hour and then went to bed separately. Next day I had change of heart, sent her flowers, and she came home crying and we hugged and we discussed an action plan for fixing things. her list wassimple. do dishes, make dinner once a week, let her go out 1 night a month and counseling if necessary. for the next 4-6 weeks we were in love again. Long walks, holding jhands, chasing her around the house, slapping her on the ass, making love etc. then the fighting started up again. All over trivial roommate type pet peeves and annoying loud house from children. She became distant again. I was reviewing our cell bill and noticed hundreds of text messages in last couple weeks alone to a familiar number. Her gay best friend Greg. I always supported their friendship, but hundreds of texts in a week seemed odd. Our daughter was playing games on her phone and asked for my help. I then go to texts and all but a few are deleted. I confornt her, explain she gives me no choice but to break up because of the deceit. She explains she has wanted to move out for awhile, and texts were aboutmaking the plans to leave, and advice. and I wont let her. She is no longer in love with me and its not fair to the kids... I then ask if she is willing to go to counseling. she says no. I then ask her to pack her things and leave. Keep in mind we lived together for 8 years. That was a month ago. she has since got a new apartment and all new life. She did not ask for her bed, TV, computer and many belongings. I continue to pick up Kids at daycare friday evening and drop off monday morning. I was on defensive claiming to be done and moving on with my life. I am a proud family man, and cherish my family and love her dearly. But I cannot allow her behavior. I was not about to ask her to come home, nor seem weak. But my heart hurts terribly. She has essentially been doing no contact for the entire month. COLD SHOULDER, no responses to pics of kids, nothing. This past weekend was first time I saw her in a month. She shows up all dolled up. I asked her to speak to me and she wouldnt look at me and keeps walking. I send a couple texts and she explains if we talk about kids only she will talk. I cant help it but to speak about feelings anyways. she sends pics of the kids back. no speak of feelings whatsoever. She acts as if she is hurt and trying to hurt me back. I kicked her out for wanting to break up with no counseling!!! She later texts, that " Ido not know what you want me to say, you have made it loud and clear how you feel and what you want" putting it back on me. 4 days later... I had flowers and her favorite pizza delivered to her work. She sends me a simple text.. "Thanks for the flowers and lunch" I know its a step in right direction. for an entire month she has acted like she is DONE! This is one stubborn nut to crack. I dont expect to run back into each others arms, and expect to take things slow. but damn I need more from her than she is giving. If she was done, would she be saying thanks?
  13. I am SO depressed. I know I am constantly repeating myself on ena, but I like to catch up new readers. It has been three months since he broke up with me, and I do not miss him any less. I just REALLY REALLY want him back. I miss my friend, I miss my escape, I miss my love, I miss him so much. I have begged, pleaded, put my dignity on the line for this man so he could possibly come back. I have had my friends to talk to him, I have had his friends to talk to him. I have called his mom and asked for advice, I have wrote him letters, I have gave him gifts with a card containing more "I'm sorry" letters in it. I have stalked him on a fake account on facebook. Every time I saw him I broke down in tears and begged him to take me back...EVERY TIME. Anytime I needed a ride to work it was always depressing, because I couldn't hold on to his arm like I wanted to. I couldn't kiss him like I wanted to, I couldn't get a response back when I said "I love you" and it killed me, it still does. I called over 100 times one night, and that is not exaggerating. He picked up infuriated at me. I told him that I have been fighting for him for two months, can't he see that I am miserable? He responded back to me that that should be a big enough hint to leave him alone. I cried so hard that night. Every day I would call him anyway hoping he would pick up, some days I would call and text more than others, and I would never get a response. It was torture! I gave up, and tried no contact and I was somewhat healing. It was hard but I felt better every day, but I still wanted him. He started contacting me first, and that was very rare after the break up. It sucked to ignore his calls and texts, and if I did answer I pretended like I was not interested "What do you want?" One night he called me more that 7 times over, I ignored it, he asked me to pick up on a voicemail. I sent him a simple text saying "text" to let him know to text me. I wasn't so clingy. One day he arrived at my house unexpectedly. I answered the door "What are you doing here?" He told me he was going to call be he was afraid I would reject him. I invited him in. He told me he missed me, and missed our times together. I told him that that was his fault and he made us like this. He was quiet and I had this hard attitude on and I asked him "Do you need anything else or are you just going to stand there?" He told me he would leave, and he did. I did not chase after him like I usually would. He came back 5 minutes later ( I left the door unlocked). I asked him "What do you want, you must really miss me or something" He responded "What if I said I do?" I immediately caved and told him how I felt. I told him I missed him and I thought of him everyday. I told him that I wanted us more than anything. We had sex, and the next day we went out he seemed miserable to be with me. Later that day he told me that maybe we should stop talking. I was shocked! I asked him why did he come over, he told me that he did not want us to have any problems. I do not get that, if we aren't talking we would practically strangers right? How would there possibly be any problems if I am not talking to him or about him and vice versa. I asked him why did he have sex with me? He told me it just happened, sex is just sex and I should get over it. I itched a scratch for him. I degraded myself once again and showed him that I did not have any respect for myself, and to make it worse. I begged for another chance. I told him I have learned my lesson, that I will never hurt him that way ever again. He said that I have BEEN saying that, what make this time any different. I told him that I have had months to think about my actions, that it is totally different because he actually broke up with me, that I know what is on the line now. I never thought he would leave but now I know. He agreed to give me a chance. I felt somewhat better. I went on my fake account and snooped again. I saw that he had just got off of work, and he was wondering if anyone wanted to hang out because he claimed to be bored. I called him and asked him what he was up to, I acted surprised to hear him say that he was off work. I asked if he wanted to hang out or something. He told me that he was tired and that he was going to stay in that night. On his facebook, an hour or two later, he was tagged at some place downtown, and took pictures with his friends. So basically he lied to me, but I can not confront him because that fake facebook account is not me, to him it is someone else. I blocked him from calling me and texting me out of frustration. I could not call or text either. I let a day go by before curiosity got the best of me. I snooped again, I really wish I never created this fake page in the first place. I saw that his mother was in the hospital. I was very close to his mother, so I unblocked him and called. He answered, my heart started beating hard, I love the sound of his voice when he answers the phone. I asked if everything was okay? I asked if he was alright and his mom as well. He told me everything was fine, but then asked how I knew his mother was in the hospital. I lied and said that a specific mutual friend told me. I knew he would cover for me if my ex had asked him. He then asked if I blocked him, and that he was frustrated because he tried to reach me. He wanted to tell me about some UFO in the sky (because we were into that type of thing) that he think he might've saw, and he told me no one would believe him but me. He asked me "Why talk about getting comfortable just to block me the next day? That's not cool." We had casual convo, I was happy. He asked to stop by, I said sure. He didn't come in, I got in the car with him. Another round of casual convo. He left, and I was content with things. The next day, I woke up early, cooked him some cinnamon rolls because he is crazy over them, went outside and picked a flower from the garden and made a home made card for him and told him to come over. He stopped by for literally a few minutes and received the card and the baked goods. Before he left, he told me that I could call his mom, check on how she is doing (when before he told me to don't even think about calling his mother again because I am no longer family anymore). I was overjoyed to hear him say that. He left, and another day I was happy. The next day I did not contact him first, around 2pm he did. He told me the cinnamon rolls were delicious and he thanked me. We text back and forth and we joked around. I thought that maybe I did it! Maybe I fixed things and I could finally start showing him how I have changed. The next two days we did not speak at all. I started reading relationship advice and blogs, forums etc.. Some of them told me that NC DOES NOT WORK! That what makes you think that a partner would keep interest in you if you are not in the picture, especially if I am the one at fault. I panicked and called the next day. I explained to him that I want to try to get more comfortable with each other, and that I wish to try a relationship with him only with time. He seemed okay to what I had to say. Every day I started the contact. We would talk, normally or so I thought. I always had this weird feeling going on that he didn't want to. But why respond if he did not want to? We texted, occasional talk every now and then. I rushed out and bought his mom a Mother's Day gift, I asked him first though. Then I posted this thread on ENA, and it discouraged me to no end It is titled I am tired of being an ex. I refuse to follow no contact. I thought that I had the right idea by trying to prove to him that I am a positive person and that I am not as negative as I used to be in our relationship. EVERYONE SHOT MY IDEAS DOWN. I was scared. So for the past 3 days it have been no contact, and that is where I am right now... on the third day of no contact, desperately typing out my feelings here. I snooped just about an hour ago on his page, it turns out he is going on vacation out of state. Do you not think that that is something that he should have told me if we were working on getting comfortable. Why agree to work on us if he doesn't even want to talk to me. If he wanted to, I wouldn't be the one initiating first contact all the time. Here is what I have learned, and here is also what scares me. Despite how negative the poster are on ENA, if 88 out of 90 posts are telling me to leave him alone, then I guess I should get the hint. As you said pushing him for responses, and texting him again when he does not text back is only pushing him away. I also found out that I am filling a void for him. I am helping him move on because he have the familiarity of texting me, getting my responses and it somewhat (for lack of a better word) "soothing" to him. I am somewhat in the friend zone. He has the comfort of texting me, while he has no strings attached to me what so ever. So basically he can text me, and the proceed to see another woman if he wanted to. He has the ball completely in his court. He can see another woman if I was talking to him or not, regardless of what I do. Now I understand that no contact is to heal and improve myself. It is not to get him back. I understand that. But the goal is to improve myself and possibly get him back. I just want him back to the point I will do any and everything. I think I messed up too much though. Maybe if I stuck to no contact in the beginning hope would be there. I seriously doubt that he would knock on my door again, or even say the things he did before. I am so freaking depressed over this whole thing please. Someone snap me out of this depressed stage please!! For some reason, I find it hard to picture him contacting me
  14. Hi.been seeing small little signs thats made me feel really insecure in my relationship lately i just feel with my gut that alls not well an there may be someone else on the scene...ive started a new job..an our sex life has become non existant lately...an she always asks when im home ...ive noticed small little things which i wont go into that are beginning to add up ..just now im in work and on a quick break..im texting her..an i get this random text..calling?? I text back an say whats that mean..an she replies its a predictive text error...i hit random buttons as i put down the fone an the fone sent this to u! Now...i know its a small thing but...im thinkin thats meant for someone else an was sent to me instead. Just a lot of things really dont add up lately and im thinkin its time for a chat...about where we stand . Before i do..just need a bit of advice..am i being paranoid or does that sound like its a typical text error??
  15. I know that everyone is different and what may be forgivable to one may not be forgivable to the another, But I am curious what things do you think are forgivable (whether that forgiveness comes right away or takes time) or is just so bad that no time can mend the wound, I recently lost a friend, I lost her for basically two reasons I overdid it and sent two many messages and texts and she blocked me, That may or may not be unforgivable, What I do think is unforgivable however is what I did AFTER that I was desperate to move on but I just had to make sure she at least saw a letter I wrote so I opened up an old facebook I closed and posted it on her wall (I said nothing bad but that does not matter) and she and I no longer speak to me. I did walk up to her after 3 weeks of no talking and told her that I am sorry (Nothing else I was afraid I would take away from the apology and I said I know you never want to speak to me again and I will leave you alone.(The next day something weird happened because she smiled at me and I awkwardly smiled back but said nothing and I am going to keep my promise and leave her alone; BUT MY STORY WHICH I POSTED ELSEWHERE IS DONE I used what happened to me (Well more to the point what I did wrong) as an example of things that are forgivable and not forgivable. So What DO YOU think is forgivable and what is not? Have a great day
  16. When we met online, we hit it off. we met in person and the connection and chemistry was undeniable. He stayed at my flat for 2 weeks.And he asked me to be exclusive but the problem is we live hours apart. But he said we will make it work. When he return to his town, he confessed to me shortly that he slept with his ex. According to him she started reaching out to him a week when he was planning to see me and she knew about me as he told her. When he returned home she asked him to hang out and he accepted with intention of just chatting. one thing led to another they ended up having sex. he called me crying all remorseful and said he will cut her off for me so i gave him a second chance. only to find out that he started talking behind my back. so i told him forget it. you can have your ex, but he begged me and said he wants me. him and his ex begged me for them to still talk because they are just friends . i finally said yes you can talk. Then a week later he tells that they made plans to hang out..i wasn't having it and at this time i said if you hangout i won't see him again. That's when he agreed and said he didn't want to lose me. but he stayed in contact with his ex behind my back until she lied to him about something, now they don't talk anymore. Going forward, the distance didn't help our relationship. He started expressing his discontent by saying that I'm everything he wants in a girl but I'm too far away and sometimes he wants to ask me to hang out after work but he can't. When he broke it off he told me that he still wanted to see me because we had made plans to meet in person prior the distance took it's toll for him So we still met and had great time. But before he left, somehow the conversation came up and he expressed his discontent with the distance and said we should see other people. so I said okay even though I was hurt.. I even started crying. Then he said to call him when I'm ready since he still cares about me. We got back in touch on a casual basis. Then we started talking on regular basis again and made plans to meet. We met then I noticed he was disinterested in sex. We used to do it twice a day whenever he visits me but then we only did it twice for the 4 days we stayed together which was initiated by me. When he got to his town, he told me that he had something to tell me. We made arrangement to talk on the phone to discuss what he wanted to say. When the time came, I called him only for him to start avoiding it as if he was nervous. Then I finally told him to text what he wanted to say. That's when he said, he doesn't feel the same way he used to. I was shocked and hurt. Then he called me 2 days later wanted to see if I was okay. We spoke and he said the last time we hung out he just wasn't feeling it anymore. I said okay. but he still wanted me in his life but told me he will give me space and to text him when I'm ready. 2 weeks later, he was already texting me telling me he misses me. I ignored these texts as I wanted space but he kept texting telling me that he realized that he misses me etc. I was happy since I missed him too. We started talking again and made plans to meet. When we met we had good time but the sex frequency had decreased and he seemed distance. Once I returned home, he was barely responding to my text. so i said what's up? you don't seem into it anymore. Then he says, 'yes, " I lost feelings " I was hurt once again and sent follow up texts to which he ignored. and that was it. I deleted him on my face book so I can move on. Then 5 months later he returned stating he misses me . He added me back on face book and I accepted but told him that we are still 5 hours apart so the same issues that pushed him away are still present so it's best we move on. He responded and said, " I just wanted to see how you're doing" I didn't initiate contact after that until he messaged me again " asking me if I found someone else which is the reason why I'm not calling him? and he left his number and said he misses me. I finally texted him and we started talking again like old times and he said he wants to see me. We met and all was well. We had great time. When he return back home, he stopped answering my texts then said the distance is too hard for him. We didn't talk again for another 5 months but this time I didn't delete him on face book. He hardly posted. Then he suddenly liked my new profile picture I had posted after 4 months. Which lead us to start talking again. We made plans to meet again and this time I visited him. All was well but he seemed distance and disinterested. When we had sex he only lasted a min the first time and he apologized which is understandable since I I know it's normal no big deal. But then every time we did which was initiated by me, it he only lasted a min and I suspect he was doing it on purpose after more than 2 times. idk. we use condoms so I couldn't tell. when I returned home, ofcourse things fizzled once again. Rinse and repeat. Last time we got back in contact, we had been planning to meet for the last 6 months but the plans kept falling through due to schedule confliction. The days he is off, I'm working and vice versa. finally we made plans to meet and set a date and everything only for him to cancel because he had to bay sit his friends dog which was followed by him losing his job so he can't come to see me. Like I said, I offered to help financially but he didn't respond. He was planning to come to see me but he any money so I told him that I can send him money through Western Union for his ticket but he didn't respond to that then he stopped responding to my texts. I started getting worried so I kept sending him numerous texts messages asking how he is and if he is okay to no avail.I then started calling him and he didn't answer.When I get no response from someone I care about I freak out so called him 11 times in row until the phone started ringing once and going to voice mail which means he was pressing the reject button. To my horror,he sent me a text message that read ``Please don't contact me anymore``Please I need space``I then apologized for bothering him and told him that I just wanted to see how he is.He didn't respond after that . We didn't talk for 2 months until i messaged him and it turned out he met someone closer to him. so went no contact after that..only for him to start reaching out twice over the course of a year telling me he missed me. I gave in, but it wasn't long until he started blowing hot and cold until he stopped initiating contact then ended it again citing the distance and said " maybe in the future when we are at a place we can move". This time I was done with him so i blocked him every where Shortly after that, like 4 months later i met another man in my city and fell head over heals with him. I hardly thought about my ex while seeing this new man and it's been 3 years. things between me and this new man didn't work out..until my ex made a fake face book profile to contact me..ofcourse i blocked the account and didn't respond. but it has re opened old wounds..now i think about what my ex put me through. I know I allowed it and shouldn't have walked away sooner now looking back but i had no experiance in dating or to spot any red flags. please don't judge me. I thought things would get better but instead i gave him more opportunity to hurt me. i definately learned from this. does this mean I haven't healed from my ex even though it's been 3 years?
  17. I don't understand. I am hurt, yes. Why do they do that? I don't understand men. I went and got involved emotionally. I have crushed on a man for awhile. It is a coworker. I know I sound like I'm 17. I'm not talking about overt flirting or anything. When we were in the office, I did catch a vibe, but I also got mixed signals...there seemed to be attraction, then not...I think all of us can relate to that. Things advanced. We started texting outside work. It turns out this "vibe" was accurate. I was pretty excited and happy about it. Yes, I know, work relationships are not the best idea. I have posted as much on many occasions on the board. I understand the risks. I think that given we are coworkers, I allowed myself to believe that this situation would not be a "player" situation and that crossing over that professional line meant this would be something that was more serious. It turned out to be about the same as many of my online dating experiences...lots of talk, not a lot of action. No meet, no text....I failed my own advice. I guess because I thought this situation was different. Why? Why do they do this? I am just so lost on this! Why do men pursue, make it seem like they want something serious, but they never have the time to actually meet? They talk a lot about meeting..."I can't wait until..." and the day never comes. Umm, a little hint, you actually have to meet in person if you want the kissing, touching, etc. He seemed interested in me genuinely. He seemed to want to pursue something serious, long-term. As we were texting, I couldn't nail him down on meeting. He accelerated to intimate discussion (nothing raunchy), and let's circle back to the above sentence -- we actually have to meet in person if we're going to kiss, touch, sex. The thing is, why pursue talking with me, pursue dating me, move into intimate discussions with me if you don't have the time and you are not available? WHY? Why?? What is going on? When I am interested in someone, I make the time. Maybe to a fault. I don't want to lose that momentum. These guys? They talk the talk and make it seem like they really like you, want to be with you, get to know you more...but they don't have the time. Too busy. Not available until "later", and when is "later?" "Later" never comes. Why do they do this? WHY?? Why do they actively pursue a relationship if they do not have time to actually pursue a relationship? Why aren't they more excited about getting together in person, like I am? So I'm hurt. I don't understand why this man actively pursued me, but he had no time. I don't understand why he moved into more intimate discussions when he didn't have the time to actually meet with me in person. I just don't get it. This post is a vent and not so much seeking advice, though I am happy hear your responses. I'm mostly kicking myself right now for not following my own advice and getting lost in the idea of a good relationship, thinking because we know each other in person, he wouldn't be a jerk. Maybe some men could chime in and tell me why you do this. Why do you pursue someone when you do not have the time?
  18. Hello I haven't been on here in a while. First of all I have previously been in relationships where I have not been respected and I am growing more aware. Few months ago, I took up exercising in the local park- its so beautiful and I like going to clear my head and think things through and be in nature. During my jogs, I met a lady who struck up conversation, she lives locally and we struck up a friendship, she seemed lovely- I used to go 4 x a week, but I said we could jog together on the weekends when I'm a little more relaxed about time as weekdays I'm on a routine. Since we met, we have jogged nearly every weekend since summer. Now my life is quite busy as I typically have 50-60 , hour weeks , I work from home and study full time. My weekends are not free as that's when I do the bulk of my studying as I work in the week. I was lucky to be accepted on a program that I never thought I would be accepted on so I am really careful to keep my grades up. here's the issue , I have mentioned that its not typical that I am free every weekend- In the summer I was, now I'm at school and juggling my work and deadlines Im not always available on the weekends. she's married /kids and would prefer later run, 10-11am, we compromised at 8.30am. She has given the option to work out at her place, we tried, there isn't enough space plus she had kids and she keeps going off to attend to them. Im time conscious so I told her I prefer we stick to running. I felt like I want to protect my intention to run- I didn't make the intention to work out at someone else place. I can do this at home. I have thanked her for the invite every time she has opened her home to workouts. Recently, I've had back to back deadlines and some personal issues arise which I need mental space to clear. I have met her every other week, not every week and usual and this has caused a lot of friction between us, through snarky comments and "jokes" about me being away for over a "year" . I sense suppressed anger behind these jokes and I am unsure why such anger should arise. When we do run, she brings up a strong a heavy topic towards the end of our run, so its hard to cut off when she starts talking about something deeply personal.this extends the run by 10-20 minutes. I once got woken at 5am and I had 10 missed calls every few minutes from 5am! This was when I sensed the shift. She then proceeded to tell me she would come and knock if I didn't answer. I called and it was just to confirm the time of our meeting. I have started to feel her "pull" on me, e.g wanting to text back and forth during the week, her texts "feel" angry , one word answers if I don't constantly update. When its not an emergency, I end messages with "enjoy the rest of your day" to signal the end of conversation , especially after we've just been together for almost an hour. I genuinely do work and study 10-12 hour days! I make time to catch up with my friends every other month, im ok without daily contact from my friends. I take time to let people in, I am happy to let friendship slow burn but Im feeling an anger from her- because I keep pumping the breaks. I don't want her to introduce me to her single friends- she had hinted at a singles evening and I said I'm not ready to date so I won't attend but I hope she and her single friends have fun. The event didn't happen, which makes me think it was targeted at me. Lastly, I don't feel like I should rush anyone's energy into my life. I take my time and I don't feel entitled to anyone else time or energy. I have felt a massive knot in my stomach and nausea when I think of her and this wasn't there before Im intuitive and Im feeling something off- I find myself explaining why I cant do this or that or why I don't want to go to this event or dinner. I hate that I feel the need to explain myself. I feel pulled on. I feel a knot and a sinking feeling in my stomach when I think of her. Somethings shifted with her and I can feel it. I cancelled our run for the next couple weeks as I have started working out in my own space- alone- with time to think and clear my head and reset my energy. Energetically, I feel invaded. Im thinking of fading away. Perspective please?
  19. So I have put dating off so far this year due to the whole Corona virus thing and just recently started deciding to date again. I met this girl online and we exchanged a few messages over the course of a week and then I decided to ask her out...... we met at had a great time. That was two weeks ago. She had an event to go to the weekend after that so I didn't bother making any arrangements for another date. Now I have to admit that since that first date I have broken the number one cardinal sin of dating on here - too much texting. We've been pretty much texting each other every day. So yesterday Wednesday I decide to ask her out for this weekend. She said she'd love to go out again, but she might have some plans for doing something with her cousin and she'll check and see and get back to me on a day that should work. So I said okay, that's fine. Well today (Thursday) we exchanged a few more texts and she didn't say anything about a day or whether she's checked on anything with her cousin. So at this point what are my options?
  20. I’m married to a incredible man however the 1 problem I have is his ex wife. I have tried to ask her to coffee to talk she refused. When he and I were dating she did everything she could from using my kids as emmo in arguments to stalking my daughters online and myself. I tried to see things through her eyes and again extended the invite to get to know her and vise versa she strongly declined. Now I’m married just had a misscarriage a month ago. And on top of that dealing with her crap. I made my husband aware I’m not content that even when he and I have the kids theirs no constant reason she’s texting him she text him from dawn till dusk. If the kids bring anything my kids give it’s negative criticism all the way a few weeks ago we allowed her to retrieve the last items she had at our home she decided to dump all my clothes on floor. I was hurt and felt violated I told my husband to bring it up to attorney instead he said it to her and she denied it of course. This week the kids made mention she yells at them after every visit with us and that she screams at the daughter to tell her stuff about me the poor girl was so scared to tell her mom she was excited we were getting married Bc she said her mother screams and screams at her if she doesn’t agree about her opinions on me. Yesterday my husband lost his phone and I guess a emergency occurred were the daughter needed to be picked up she cussed him out said he has time for my daughters and that she wants my information to be given to school so I can get off of my u know what and play the part. I told my husband I under no circumstances will take any direction from her I’m no in a relationship with her and I don’t need to abide to her demands. I told him he needs to set his foot down and put boundaries he indicated that he can’t because she will take away kids. I’m not asking to belittle her but place boundaries were she’s limited in contacting and for him to speak up for his kids whom are clearly going through verbal abuse with her. I’ve already made police reports Bc she’s not right in the head and has followed me stalked my daughter on social media . The straw that broke me today was I came home sick as ever and I see he’s been texting all day back and forth with her. I told him he may be married to me but he’s still with her and I don’t know if I can continue this toxic relationship with her in it I said I’m married to him but dominated by her And I just don’t see how this can be salvaged I love my husband he’s an amazing person friend confidant lover but I can’t live my life in her shadow and I see he fears her I just can’t Idk what to do I went to bed depressed today didn’t spend any time with kids or him just went to bed in guest room. I don’t want to be in the same room right now with him. I want to work out I truly do but idk anymore
  21. Hello, A little back story, I have been with my partner for 2 years total. First year we dated casually and we've been exclusively dating for a year now, all long distance. I am normally not a very needy person and we both usually handle time away ok with a phone call once weekly, texts throughout the day, and seeing each other once or twice monthly when we can make out schedules work. I am a single mom and he is currently finishing up his commercial pilot training (will be done in May). I am absolutely in love with him, and he says the same and I have never questioned it or him in the past, he's always been perfect for me. The last 2 months have gotten insanely busy for him at school though, sometimes 16 hour days in lessons, flights, and studying. The last month, we have barely gotten to talk other than a text or 2 a day and usually our normal phone call during the week sometime. My problem is, and im not sure honestly why it has become such an issue for me, is that he says he is so busy that he doesn't have time to really text or call as much as we normally do, but I see him active on Facebook and IG when I am ALL the time. He is busy, the training program is no joke and I know others who have done it and said they were basically living at school. But im worried maybe he's losing interest if he is actually spending all this time on social media but still can't make any for me. I dont want to bring it up because I feel like it'll make me seem crazy if I do because of noticing he's active or if its nothing then the fact that I'm doubting him so much will just add stress to him I am also a huge overhtinker and COVID restrictions with less social outings and time with friends has me deep in my thoughts lol. Like I said, im probably overthinking but its driving me crazy. How do others handle lack of time and communication with LDR?
  22. keshi

    Help!

    Hello! Need advice, and dont know who to turn to. I dated my ex for almost two years. During the relationship, we broke up a few times, and had frequent fights. These fights 99% of the time pertained to one thing- other girls. He never cheated on me in the sense that he physically got intimate with other girls, but he would talk and hangout with them behind my back, and would tell his friends how hot they were and how much he wanted to f**ck them. When I saw this, I broke up with him last fall, but we got back together about a month later. Other than these fights, we had a really good relationship. We were best friends, did everything together, and we were genuinely inlove. He was always known as a guy with not much emotion, but everyone said he changed a lot after he started dating me, and I saw it too. I also think it might be important to share we are both sophomores in college (and 20-something guys are stupid). He goes to college in my hometown and I am here because of Covid. We were best friends since freshman year of highschool and started dating senior year of high school. I got very close with his family, and him with mine. When we broke up last fall, there was one girl that he was "friends" with who he spoke and hung-out with a lot. When we got back together, he had posted a picture for thanksgiving of us together. I commented "I love you" and this girl liked the comment. So....weird. This girl was working at a job he just got, and he hid that from me. When I found out, I obviously was very upset which turned into a huge argument. He then broke up with me, and said he knew he would never hear the end of it, and that he wasn't ready for a committed relationship anymore. He kept saying that he, "wasn't ready for marriage". This was around mid august. He blocked me on social media and my number. Eventually after a few weeks, he unblocked my number and my snapchat, but kept my instagram blocked. Since then, there have been a few text exchanges. The night he unblocked me, he drunk texted me and told me he missed me. A few days after that, I lost my cool and yelled at him and used very strong language over text after I saw all the girls (and some of my old friends) that he followed on instagram (I used a different account that he didn't block to look). A week or two after that, I sent a long message asking for an explanation as to why our relationship ended up the way it did, and he said he was happier now, and didn't want to commit to a relationship anymore. This is where the mixed signals come in. I still have him on spotify, and he has a new playlist thats filled with songs that are obviously about us breaking up, they're about heartbreak, losing the one you love, etc. Some of them, are a few of the songs we use to listen to together. I mean, it's OBVIOUSLY an "I miss my ex" kinda playlist. Along with this, he ALWAYS watches my snapchat stories 5-15 minutes after I post them. So, this has me confused. Why is he keeping tabs and being sad if he said he was happier without me?And what was with the drunk text a month ago? I work a few doors down from him, and he walks by atleast 3 times a day (he has to for work, its not voluntary to see me). Everytime he walks past, we make eye contact and he gives me a strange look. A look that says "I love you" but also not. I cant read his face, and I just have given up by now. If he missed me and wanted me back, I know he would text or do something about it. But he can be stubborn and maybe doesn't want to say anything at all in hopes he can move on. I dont want to text him first, because I want him to know Im not a puppy dog at his feet. I haven't said anything for a few weeks now, and I'v been posting me doing fun stuff on my snapchat, but that hasn't made him want me back yet. Or text me. Or try to talk to me. Its so frustrating! Why wont he text me? It's beginning to be a long time since our breakup, and I'm afraid he wont come back or want me again soon. I want him to text me, and tell me that he loves me and that he misses me. What should I do? Best, Keshi
  23. Okay so me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 months now and she just broke up with me yesterday. She said that she doesn't have time for a relationship right now, and that we're both busy and we haven't talked much lately and she needs time to find herself. She also said that she still wants us to be friends and close friends. I told her that it's alright, don't worry about it, studying (we're both in uni) is more important right now. The next day, I texted her saying that I didn't like how we ended things, and that I know we haven't talked much lately and it's because of the pressure we're both in and that I believe we can fix things. I told her that we should have a talk about what each of us want in this relationship, what we don't want, how often should we talk/call/text, how to be more emotionally connected and such. I also told her that she's one of a kind and I don't want to lose her just like that. She responded saying that it's more about me than it is about you I can't be in a relationship right now. She also said that she feels there are things missing from our relationship that are just not there and won't end up being there even if we talked about it, it's going to end up forceful and not fair to any of us. That it's going to be a relationship "by name" and losing each other more than anything else and she doesn't want that to happen, that she still wants to be friends. Finally, she said that she is sorry that she doesn't mean things to end up this way and that she doesn't believe she can be the person I want her to be now or anytime in the future. I think she completely friendzoned me forever when she said "Anytime in the future" :(((((((((( Notice how her response changed? Did I royally **** up by sending her that text the next day? Is there any chance we could end up together again, or did I royally **** things up??? I don't know what to do. I'm in love with her and I want her badly ;(
  24. I I was with my fiance for 8 months, we were going to be married on December 22, 2020. So I thought. Then my fiance all of a sudden said he needed space, we did have a few issues but they were not that bad it turns out while we were on this break he slept with his kids mom. Which they were together for 9 years off and on. He vowed to me that he would never be with her. That she cheated on him a lot of times she was abusive to him and his other kids. Why would he do this to me? He said it was a big mistake that he would never do it to me again. So I took him back. A week later he tells me over the phone that he's done with me again. That was not the same with us anymore. Then I kept texting him why I didn't understand why he wanted to end things again. He texted me that he didn't love me anymore, that I was bugging him to stop texting him, leave him alone. Now he's just gone haven't heard from him for a week now. How can someone that says they love you and want to marry you lie straight to your face? I thought he really loved me, I am so hurt and heartbroken .I heard today that he went back to his kids mom, that's why he left me. And because I was showing him too much attention and that I annoyed him ...But that is so hurtful after everything she has done for him. Why would he leave me someone that would never cheat on him, someone that truly loved him, he used to tell me how happy and in love he was with me. I don't understand all this.
  25. I am asking for peoples opinion about what happened to my relationship to help me heal. Sorry for the grammar and its sorta a long story. I met a lovely lady on a dating app called plenty of fish in February. At the time i was living with my baby mamma because my name was on the lease and i knew she couldn't pay it herself, but there was no feelings there. so we met up hit it off on the first date like i knew her for a long time. since this was the time covid was going on we met at a park and within the same week we met again at her house. i knew she wanted to sleep with me but i am not the type of guy to want to do it right away i like to build something not sleep with strangers or one night stands. and it was weird i would have to go after 6pm after her dad was a sleep so she could sneak me off to the side. after a couple times seeing her we slept together and after that it was great we would spend every minute together and as time went on i would eventually sleep over and met her dad and she met my family. all was great till my lease was about to be up with the baby mamma and i decided to leave early and pay for the last month. and i got depressed as i didn't know what was gonna happen between me and my daughter. i was gonna go from seeing her everyday to every other week and didn't know what the future was gonna bring. and this lady amy i was seeing knew this i talked to her about it. i started getting distant not really sleeping over anymore and telling her because of my kid. I had the most idiotic idea in my life. i thought if i go back to my baby mamma i could see my kid everyday and i know what the future would bring as far as my kid goes. so i left amy told her we weren't compatible because wasn't man enough to tell her the truth. and got with my ex only for my kid but after 3 days i couldn't do it i couldn't string this women along not knowing if one day ill have feelings again. we split and left amy and my ex alone for a week and i started missing amy and all the memories we had and how well we got along. sure we had fights but who doesn't. so i contact amy and ask her to meet up with me and she agrees. we make plans to go eat sushi few days later and she asks me why i wanted to meet up and tell her i wanted to get back with her and told her why i left in the first place and she said she was mad at me and she had to do something that day and we went our ways at met up later and talked more and she told me she was seeing someone after we broke up. and that the guy knew a family friend who died recently. so she told me she needs to decide if she wants to be with me or not. so like 3 days go by and we meet up again to talk more about getting back together and it seemed like no matter what i said she would say something to make it seem like it was best for us not to get back together. I told her i would take it slowly as she wants. so we hug and make out and she leaves to her house and i go to mine and i send her a text like 20 mins later and she doesn't reply and i got a gut feeling that i knew from once before and could not shake. i decide to drive by her house and i see a truck that doesn't belong there. i know because i would sleep over and hang out with her during all my free time i knew what cars belong. it was parked where i would park.and a couple days before hand she told me she wanted to send me a text late at night saying to come over and cuddle with her but she didn't. so i decide to knock on her window because i didn't want to wake her dad up. and she comes out and i ask her if she wants to cuddle and she says no. and i ask her even for like 30 mins and she says no. no matter what i said she said no and told me to leave and she would text me the next day. so i let it be and she didn't contact me in this time she had me blocked on messenger for like 3 days then unblocked me and i couldn't stand seeing her icon on my messenger saying when she was on so i deleted my facebook. I didn't really use it anyway. so she sends me a long text saying that i scared her by knocking on the window and now she has nightmares of someone going through the window. i apologized and i her told her i knew she was with someone that night and she admitted it and told me it was a yes on getting back together and then after showing up to her house and catching her with someone else it was a no on getting back together. so i asked her what was the point on texting me and said there wasn't one and i asked her to leave me alone and she told me to leave her alone which i did she texted me. last message said " i wish things were different. i'd love to keep you in my life but i can't" and i wonder why not? She texted me all this in one day while still seeing the other guy. My problem is i can't just get over her. it was dumb for to think of going back to baby momma for my daughter even though there was no feelings there. i was just in a tough time going through change and thinking of what will happen in the future with my kid. doesn't help either that she moved on way to quick. i am not sure if it matters but before be she said she slept around a lot to help get over her first ex. It doesn't matter to me what she did when we split but when we started talking about getting back together and it was a yes and 10 mins later she sleeping with someone. confuses me and wont let me heal. its been about 3 weeks and i just can't seem to get any better some days i want to reach out to her. but i think of what happened and think i should let it be. I just want to hear your guys opinion as it helps me heal even if its the harsh truth.
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