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  1. A girl from college (23F), who I see every wednesday, actually asked for me and gave her number to one of my classmates so he could give it to me... We texted and set up a first date right off the bat... But you all know I am me... I can't just set up a friggin date and forget about the girl until the day of the date... So I ended up texting her all weekend before the first date... She clearly indicated at the beginning she doesn't like guys who message her all the time... ffs.... My excessive eager texting turned her off, made her lose the interest and she texted me today cancelling our date with some lame excuse about her work... and said we would have to reschedule... Tried rescheduling to thursday... she told me she wasn't sure she would be available that day... Took the hint, deleted her number... but texted "In case you want to chat... hit me up..." And forgot about her... Yet, some 4 hours later, she actually hit me up, suddenly with a renewed interest for me, asking how I was... asking about my weekend... and for the first time she liked one of my IG stories... Not sure if she is still interested, feels bad for cancelling our date, or is just seeking attention.
  2. I want to chronicle my journey, post-breakup so that hopefully ENAers current and in the future can use my story as a point of reference. I'll do my best to post here each day with how I'm feeling, doing, interactions, etc. My story? Senior in college. Mutually broke up with my girlfriend of 2.5 years six weeks ago. Neither of us were happy in the relationship anymore. We basically spent most of our free time together and over-time, that led to a toxic dynamic. We neglected our friends to be together. We just agreed that we loved and cared about each other and didn't want to totally ruin our dynamic by continuing at our current pace. We wanted time to work on ourselves and find happiness alone again before ever having a healty relationship again. Don't get me wrong. Our relationship was based off of a lot of love. She has still told me that she knows that she's going to marry me one day and that no one will ever treat her better than I did. Do I believe her? Well, I did and still somewhat do. No such thing as false hope because hope doesn't mean success. We've been through everything together from swine flu, to pregnancy scares, deaths in the family, mental breakdowns, hospital visits, going grocery shopping on a Friday night. We've pretty much experienced much more than you should in a 2.5 year time frame. The last six weeks? Hellish. I've asked for her back on four different occasions to only be rejected each time (Three of them were alcohol-enduced). After a few days passed by, I felt like we could handle the problems while in the relationship. Well, she didn't agree. She kept saying that she needed 'space'. So I've been in and out of NC. My longest period was for three weeks and I felt so much better. However, after I saw her at a bar and I was really drunk, I started to text her and ask for her back. This didn't go over well and I called and apologized to her today. Basically, my fear of loss has compelled me to do a lot of stupid things. I've out of character on more than one occasion. I can't cook, either. So that has sucked, a lottttt. Is there a rebound? Nope. She's not interested in dating anyone else. She has spent a ton of time with her friends, who are all single. Most were very envious of our relationship because it was so damn comfortable. Definitely could be a phase. Has she contacted me? Yep. The most recent time was last Wednesday. She texts me late at night. Like 12:30 am. And mind you, she is not a drinker. So these aren't drunk texts. These are 'I put my head on the pillow and think about you' texts. She's just a better actor than I am when disguising her feelings. I know she still cares about me. One of her last texts to me? 'I'm starting to feel like a normal person again'. Just goes to show that they hurt just as much as we do, post-breakup. Misc I removed her on Facebook awhile back. I don't take my cell phone when I go out to avoid drunk texting (bit me twice in the past). Her family absolutely loves me. Her brother still talks to me and often asks for my advice. Her mom came to visit two weeks ago and wanted to come over to see me. However, I was at work. She has 'checked in' on me a few times. I didn't really give her much information, but I didn't exactly blow her off. I feel like that is not productive if you want someone back who doesn't have a current boyfriend/fling. What Have I Done? Re-connect with old friends. Met lots of new friends. Go out, a lot. Meet new girls. Exercise like crazy. I've dropped 15 pounds over this six week period. I've really worked hard at my job and with my college work. Tried to do everything in my power to not think about her. Final Thoughts I miss this girl like crazy, but I'm slowly letting go. That's the only way you can get yourself back. I'd like to have her back someday, but not until I'm 100% happy again and she gets this whole phase out of her system. Hopefully this gave you an intro to my situation and feel free to chime in whenever. Just remember, when you love someone, you never give up. That doesn't mean you'll get them back, but if you truly love someone, you'll want them to always be happy. Your happiness, however, is always the top priority. Don't forget the push-pull dynamic. The more you push, the worse things will become. You can never 'pull' too much. The best gift you can give an ex? The gift of missing you. Go away. If you envision positive things, they'll happen for you.
  3. New to this forum but have actually read quite a lot on the ex back and NC topics. Long story very short... 6-year relationship, she's 19 years younger... call me a cradle-snatcher, but we really understood each other for most of those 6 years. Lived together for 2 years. I should have seen it coming as all the signs were there and she actually tried to tell me many times - only I didn’t (want to) hear it :-(. She moved away in March this year but we saw each other every couple of days and she’d spend at least one night of each week. 8 weeks ago she just called it quits. Was a very cold shower and total surprise. I was upset at first and didn’t talk to her for two days, then we texted some there and back. But she was suddenly a different person - cold, non-understanding, not willing to talk about anything. All the usual stuff that you read about that a dumper does after the fact. I called her once but all I got was a brick wall. Sent a long email asking for some explanation and if we could work it out. Not sure she even read it. As I suspected, there is also a guy at play that she has been seeing / flirting with (maybe) since April. Not sure I would call this a rebound but I believe at some point in June, she would be torn between the two of us - more inclining to the new guy (for all the obvious reasons). She did keep in irregular contact a few times a week after that - saying she wants to stay friends as she cares too much for me and I mean a lot in her life. Kept telling her I am not her friend because simply I feel more than that. I went and read tons of stuff (never really been dumped in my life, haha). Went NC 4 weeks ago. Immediately started doing stuff - I’m not short of hobbies - do lots of sports but added a gym and personal trainer to occupy the mind and tire the body. Been playing the piano and guitar a lot lately (after many many years), been playing computer games in the evenings, reading advice on this forum and elsewhere. She contacted me after 2 weeks, asking to see me, which I (a bit reluctantly) agreed to, I said I would bring her magazines that were delivered for her to our place. I was never mean to her, only a bit cold I’d say. We met at Starbucks and I was trying to be upbeat and not display any sense of urgency, pleading or anything. Tried to look real busy at work (which I actually am now). She didn’t say why she wanted to meet - maybe she didn’t feel the situation was good or maybe she just wanted to meet as buddies over coffee, don’t know… She acted a bit annoyed, especially later when she asked if I was going to come to our sports trainings and events and I said I didn’t plan to. She also seemed a bit pressed for time towards the end, though she said she had plenty. I am sure she went to see the other guy right after that and maybe didn’t want to keep him waiting. We parted ways with a hug. I wanted to kiss her like I used to but she just wanted a friendly kiss, which I said no to. So we just hugged a bit more and she left. I texted her later saying it was good to see her and she should stay in touch if she wants to. She texted back that obviously I can’t have contact with her now so it’s me who needs to stay in touch. I said maybe she could come over one night to watch our favourite TV show. She said she’d like that. I left it at that and went back to NC. She texted again a week later (yesterday actually), calling me my sweetheart name and saying that a new series of our favourite show would be screening next Monday. I replied (nicely) that I would definitely watch! And she said - “you definitely should”.
  4. Here is the story I have been in this relationship for a year and a half for the last four years he hasn't been in a serious relationship the last relationship before me he fell head over hills for this girl although there relationship lasted less then a year she was the one to end it and break his heart. he has remained in contact with her over the four years my concern is I dont think he ever really has gotten over her and for the most part he calls her often and texts messages her little notes saying how much he misses her and other similar texts. I have questioned him about it, he assures me that there is nothing to be jealous of and that its just an insecurity. But on Valentines Day she was the first person he called not me and last night when he went out with his friends he text messaged her kinda drunk miss you unbearably. shouldn't I be concerned. need advice what would you do.
  5. Hey everyone. I'm a 23 year old guy who just had his heart broken by his now ex-girlfriend after a one year relationship. She broke up with me two weeks ago. She is 21 and has been in a four year relationship, and then the one year with me. She recently broke up with me because she "really needs to be alone right now." She always told me how much she loved me, and she wanted to move in together. But all of a sudden she drops me like a bad habit. I told her I understood why she needs to be alone. But she is handling this much better than I am. I've been trying to leave her alone, but I did text her once yesterday telling her how much I miss her, and I hope things are going well for her. She replied to my text by simply saying "Hey, thanx for the text. I hope things are going good for u." Don't get me wrong. I'm not a smothering, obsessive boyfriend (honestly). I have several questions that I need answered. 1) Will she come back? What can I do to get her back? 2) Is the "I need to be alone" excuse just another way of saying I want to be with other guys? 3) What did I do that would cause her to drop me so suddenly? I'm not going to contact her anymore. But I was thinking about giving it a few months and then emailing her to meet me for dinner. Is this a good way to go? Can anyone relate to what I'm feeling/talking about? Any help /suggestionswould be greatly appreciated.
  6. Okay, so I met this girl online 2 weeks ago and sent messeges back and forth for a day or two, then we chatted. She told me she has never met and is not interested in meeting someone off the net. At the end of our chat, I now have her phone number and she wants to meet me. So she calls me later and reaffirms that she wants to "hang out". We meet. I took her to a lake to feed ducks. We talked a lot. Then we went out for some chinese, then went back to her place, and then walked to get some ice cream. Then we came back and watched a movie at her place. We didn't sit next to each other. She sat in her fav recliner and I sat on the couch. I REALLY wanted to ask if she'd sit next to me, but my instincts told me if she wanted to, and was comfortable enough, she would somehow move closer over time. Or she could just be shy and is waiting for me to ask her to do it cuz that's happened to me before as well. Anyway, the movie is over and we get online and we show each other's photo albums of when were were kids...and she showed me her parent's pictures and stuff. She gently kicked my foot a few times and then said "Oh, was that your foot?". lol Anyway, I asked if she wanted to go to the state fair with me...and she said she'd like it. Then we talked about going trick or treating together. And then I mentioned some other ideas, and she was ALL for doing those things with me! When I was about to leave, I opened my arms for a hug and she opened hers right back and we had a tight 2 second hug. I definitely didn't feel it was time for "the kiss" yet. I normally have a pretty good gut instinct on when to do thinsg. She had to leave town the next day for a few days, but I got a surprise text message of a smiley face from her. So I'm THINKING that she does like me for more than "just friends". I just need some affirmation. BECAUSE THIS GIRL SWEPT ME OFF MY FEET!!! And it would suck to be "just friends", but I would rather take that than nothing. What do you guys think? I also should mention that she emailed me the next day and said she had a fun time. She said that when we met, it felt like we were old friends. Is that a sign of "Hey let's just be friends" or does it just mean that she felt really comfortable around me for a first meeting and I shouldn't think much of it?
  7. Hey everyone, VERY new to this whole concept of forums cos I usually just talk through stuff with friends but hey its worth a try! Please read my story and let me know what'all think. Thanks a million. background - im a 22 yr old student (James is my name) girl is 20 almost 21(student also-mary) - both from and living in Ireland. I met this girl(Mary) 11 months ago. It probably started off on the wrong foot as I cheated on my then girlfriend with Mary. I'll try and keep this story as brief as I can but still include what I deem necessary. After this inital time, Mary fell for me very heavily and even after realising that I had a girlfriend and indeed did cheat still was very interested. I subsequently broke up with my girlfriend as I didnt think we'd work out quite soon after meeting mary. Mary and I developed a phone relationship thereby ringing and texting eachother EVERYDAY! I know over-familiarity could have taken place but luckily didnt. We were at college and on a nite out I was a single man - mary was out - as far as i was concerned i wasnt getting anywhere so i moved on with the nite and scored some cheat who turned out to be in her class in front of her! I was unaware of this at the time. After that nite, mary went off me big time and up until this point (last november about 1 to 1+1/2 months of knowing her) i wasnt too interested in mary. Anyway come the christmas college party i was into mary again basically cos i couldnt have her(i thought). After a bit of c.ocky+funny approach i eventually won her over on the nite and we ended up together again. That nite i asked her to start something with me. She refused saying she didnt wanna even go on a date with me insisting she didnt want to go on a date because she would start to like me again too much and didnt want a relationship. I'll speed things on to april - meanwhile we're still scoring when we're out and ringing and texting but still can be with other people so there's no official relationship. I was vice president of my student union. The guy who's taking over from me next year is crazy about mary. I told her this and started to get paranoid when I saw her and him flirting with eachother on many occasions in college. A few of my friends said they thought they had even scored. Mary convinced me otherwise and although my intentions were good towards her i was pure jealous at the time and made a dick out of myself on two nights out over him. I made up for all the jealousy and paranoia (which i never usually have but i blame it on both the fact he was replacing me and wanted "my girl" and also my friends telling me she was with him when in fact she DEFINITELY wasnt) by buying her loads of presents and bringing her home and surprising her with all this stuff-it went down VERY well indeeed. She told me she wasnt with him and never wanted to be and i firmly believe her. We knew and still know everything about eachother. Right college broke up in june and we went on our first date! Woohoo! It went fantastically well. Couldnt have gone better. We started to meet up every week after that. We had our second date (both dinner by the way). Met eachothers families all went well. We still werent officially a couple but werent with anyone else either. I went up to her town and went out and had a great nite. She came down to my town and... we had a row. Up until then things have never gone better with us but this row about 6 weeks ago now has left me emailing a man i'll probably never meet looking for some desperately needed answers (no offence by the way!). Basically I text and rang her during the day and the day before to see if she was deffo coming down with her friends as she didnt know for sure. She never text or rang back. I went out and evertually toward the end of the nite she arrived to the club and barely said hello to me. 1 of her best friends(they met at christmas) never really liked me which i know is an uphill battle but she crabbed mary in front of me and said something to her about me and mary just walked on. Mary told me beforehand that her friend(ciara) hated when mary left her on her own and went off with me. Ok that was fine at the end of the nite i went over and spoke to them both. Ciara said to mary on the sly "wat about that guy for u-pointing to some guy near us" and mary said "uh no!". This as you can well imagine pissed me off but i let it slide. About 10 mins later I met mary and grabbed her on her own and we kissed. She immediately said she has to go outside to ciara, I said i'll be out in a minute. When i went out mary had her back facing me and ciara was looking at me - as i got closer ciara said loudly "sush sush". This made me super-paranoid. I asked mary to talk to me for a second. I said "wat the hell was that about?!" she said i was only telling her i was wit u and she didnt want u to think we were talkin about ya to give u a bighead. i said why wud u bother telling her that? wasnt assummed we would have kissed? I then said something bad which i duely apologised for saying what i felt at the time "you're the most ignorant girl i've ever met because im the one who almost has to beg to meet up" and some other fueldriven rubbish. she got pissed off a tear or two and said to her friends im not taking this anymore. i apologised and i kissed her again. we havent met up since... I rang her a couple of days later and we talked it out, she sent me a text message after that call reading the following: "I do think alot of you and i want things to go back to the way they were and just see what happens" After that nite i didnt know where either of us stood. i know i look bad but believe me she played me around so much that was just my breaking point. this "relationship" has been driven by control. i was in control at the start and now she is. i fatally shot myself in the foot by telling her i loved her which she never has recipricated. That week I told her i'd meet up or i could go out with some old friends i hadnt seen in a while along with that same ex i cheated on. During this week i told mary i wanted to know if we'd start something. long story short she basically said to go out with my friends. about 2 weeks later - just a few calls and texts everything slowed down, i rang her and told her there and then i wanted an answer on the fone were we or were we not gunna start something. she wouldnt answer me. i said right ok i had enough and i was ending it right then. i rang her about a week later and we had another row cos we were supposed to meet up but she never contacted me again. it turned out she was pissed off cos i drunkingly (im irish remember!) said i checked her voicemail to see if she has listened to my messages - i NEVER checked her voiceys and was insulted by this and said its grand we're just friends basically. she said she DIDNT want a relationship now... since then i rang her and tried to patch things up. I truly love this girl. the above are tiny fights in a 95% perfect semi-relationship. i know this girl really does like me very much. i'll do anything to get her back ANYTHING. right now she knows she can have me and theres no challenge in that. we were supposed to meet up as "friends" tonight but she made up an excuse of being sick (i found this out to be a lie through her mother by accident). i know if we were just officially going out things would be great and right. what can i do now? she doesnt text or ring me anymore at all. its like she is making herself move on. I was talking to a VERY close friend of hers last nite in a club and she told me she hasnt been talking to mary in over a month but way back when we met she was crazy about me, never into anyone as much as me but shes not so sure now. PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME! believe me when i say i KNOW she still has super strong feelings for me but she and her friends are making her move on. What can i do? Hard to get? Loads of contact? What?
  8. Hello need any insight - lotsa reading im afraid… Ok, goin out bout 3 months, first 2 great, fall madly in love. About 2 month ago she moves back home for the summer to work. So she is now a 2 hour train journey away and works 6 days a week so I am only really able to see her one evening a week, till she returns. Bout 5 weeks ago we decided that it would be great to book a holiday in Sept, was really excited. Last time saw her (3 weeks ago) she seemed a bit ackward n said something was on her mind. She accidently sends me a txt ment for her bestfriend sayin that she doesn't think she feels the same about me n some other stuff. So I manage to see her and confront her about the txt sayin we should talk. She says is really confused n needs time to think, maybe a break. That she has felt like this for a month n been down. Says she does still love me but not sure if she wants a bf just now and feels she has changed. Said if we to go on holiday she needs time to sort herself out and phone me next day when she has had some sleep n less hormone-y Get a text from that night sayin she is so sorry she doesn't understand what is goin on in her head and that it isn't me, I haven't done anything wrong and she hates herself just now. Get a txt next day sayin she is "goin out so she can't really call later *hug*" I managed give her a call as I just needed to say what I thought, that I think things havent changed but it is normal when you are away from someone you first time, to have feelings that you aren't sure if you feel the same as u did, cause of the sudden change from seeing lots to hardly any. I said I was sure it would get better when she moved back in couple of months and she would see that when we spend time together if we go on holiday. She said maybe. I said we shouldn't go on a break but if she needed time I would give her some NC time, as I wasn't gonna let her slip thru my fingers like that. But she says that we need to break up for now. She sounds upset. I send her a text later sayin I just needed to phone earlier as it would be on my mind if i didnt. That I would let her have time to sort stuff out. I added at the end to a sweet thing that she had once said about us and to remember that. Get a text back sayin not to say that as it will make her sad (the bit I added at the end) and that she had changed and was sorry. She phoned couple of days later about something (immaterial - not to do with us) but we chatted for quite a bit, non relationship. She asked me to call back a bit later, we chatted more, she asked if I had been seeing anyone else - no, if I was happier apart - no, if i missed her - yes and that she missed me, said we would speak soon. Texted her next day - about the immaterial thing she originally phoned about n some random stuff followed by kisses. So she gets in contact with me about a week later. Txts me as she upset - she had just had a big argument wit her parents. They say there is no way she is going on the holiday we had booked if we ain't seein eachother . I give her a phone to discuss what to do, we chat away well as usual. I ask her if she was actually planning to go on the holiday - she says definatly and was really looking forwards to it, she said she had wondered if it would be a bit weird tho. I say I think it would be fine whichever way things swung in the end - I think we could still have a great holiday. Suggest meeting up with her and do something – to check we get on ok. But she says she thinks it is maybe too soon as she still feels she needs to be alone and she really busy... So I say ok thats fine think about it and the offer stands. She texts me next day sayin she is really down about the holiday and she really needs one. I reply sayin her parents can't stop her, but that might not be the best idea. You could always lie to your parents and say we are together just so you can go on holiday. Get a message next day sayin "no, i'm not going on holiday. too weird, I can't. I'm not going to go." (Did she need to tell me 3 times in one txt…) I didn't reply to that, that was 4 days ago. It's strange, it is almost starting to feel like I am the one who broke it off! I don't even know why we split up!
  9. My ex and I broke up 4 months ago and were on speaking terms at first because we were still in love with eachother. She just wanted more freedom. (shes 20). Things were weird for me because I wanted her back so badly but she didnt think she was ready to be a good girlfriend. (Plus bad past relationships.) 2 Months into the relationship we were still talking but things werent looking good. However when she went home for the summer(about 3000 miles away) we began speaking a lot and it felt like we were dating for awhile. I asked her drunkinly one night if we were were together and she got really scared. She said that she still didnt know if she was ready and didnt want to think that far into the future.(although she likes to talk about when we are married and what our childrens names are. Shes convinced i am the one for her, Just not yet) I told her that while she was away we probibly should talk like this to give me the wrong impression. She cried but said it would help her grow without me as a crutch. Over the next month she called me a couple of times and text messaged to say how much she loved me and missed me and she now knew i was her "ideal." After about a month we started talking regularly again. She asked if i had been with anyone and I said yes because I had. She was so upset I think it may have changed her whole outlook because there after we still talked but she was admittedly very detached. One night i brought up that one day she would have to make a decision about us and she got more frustrated and said she didnt know what would happen. But as of now it was no.Things might change when we saw eachother and hung out. I apologized for pressuring her and days went by and it seemed to blow over yet the detachment continued. I asked her what was wrong and she said she was just tired and wanted to go home.(she was staying with her anut for 3 weeks accross the country.) In our last convo she said that she would call me later when she was flying through my city so we could meet up at the airport for abit. She said she loved me and she was sorry for being so detached. That was about two weeks ago. I havent heard from her since. I tried calling her once and I text messaged her once but no reply was heard. I supposed to come into Town on Thrurday. I have about ten boxes of her belongings, her computer, stereo, printer stored at my apartment and she will absolutely have to come and pick it up. Why do you think she is acting like this, especially when she knows she has to see me this week. Do you think I should call her or wait for her to call me? I am kinda worried because even when she is mad at me she still usually calls me back. Any Input on the situation would be amazingly helpful. Thanks
  10. Hi Everyone, Just spoke to my ex who seems to be pretty engrossed in the guy she broke up with me for. She hardly knew this guy except through text messages and love letters he sent her, and towards the end of the relationship phonecalls. My ex said a number of times in the last few months said she was starting to have feelings for him, I told her she needed to find out what she wanted (suffered from depression and was on prescribed drugs). Eventually she told the guy she was never going to leave me - this was January. In May she broke up with me saying she was in love with him. She went to Italy 3 weeks later on a previously booked holiday and she kissed the guy (she says, I believe something more). In any case she came back saying she didn't know what she saw in this guy. Now he's coming to visit her in November for a week. One question is it possible to fall in love wqith someone by email, text message and love letters, especially when the guy you are with has given you more than you ever imagined possible? Is this just a fantasy? I spoke to her tonight after she contacted me as she's going through a hard time with work and life. Is she using me as a doormat by speaking to me like this? Or am I allowing myself to be used as a doormat? She obviously cares still, but will she ever come back to me? I am still so madly in love with her, and I can't believe how or why this other guy could make her feel this way! She's never spent real time with him, do people think this trip of his will be the deciding time? She tells me he's already speaking about moving to the UK from Italy to be wityh her and she doesn't want that because having him abroad is safe. She says she has feelings for him, but hasn't gone as far as saying she's in love with him. It's been 3 months now and I thought I could handle speaking about this guy to her, but it drives me nuts (not that I showed it when onm the phone to her). In any case I am meeting for dinner tomorrow, give her my support during this hard time of my life (although with the way she's treated me I should be telling her to stuff it, but that's the kind of person I am- always understanding of others). How should I act? What can I do to make her fall for me again, and have her realise I'm the one meant for her? I thought I was starting to get over her, but now I miss her more than ever again. I also don't know if she keeps in touch cause she misses me, she needs someone who knows her to speak to or out of guilt? Help me guys/girls/everyone. Thank you, D. The course of true love never did run smooth - William Shakespeare (A Midsummer Night's Dream)
  11. Hey guys, some of you may remember my post: I had the ex-fiancee, we broke up about 5 months ago. He needed to be sure if I was the one, after 2 and a half years together. He left for a job in another state after we graduated in December last year. I did not beg or plead, he has done all the contacting since then. He said he wanted to be best friends, but I told him it was too hard because, he had a friend/girlfriend.He always said if he was to become more mature, could he come back to me and stuff like that. I would always say I don't know. He emailed about a month ago, saying he was one of the best men in the world and that what was I deserved. He said that because I always get mad when he wants to know who I am dating and whether they are treating me right. He also said he believes that he is the only man in the world who will treat me like I wanted to be treated. I didn't pay it much attention, and he wondered why I didn't. About two weeks ago, he called me 10 times in one day. After the fourth time, my coworker answered the phone and told him that I was busy. He called again about an hour later. Later on that day he called five more times, I did not answer the phone, because he knows I don't like talking to him alot and he will not respect that, so I don't answer the phone when he calls. He also had text messaged me the day before, asking me "do you text message." I did not reply back. Anyway, the next morning, he called me, and so I answered the phone this time, because it was really early in the morning. He asked why I did not answer the phone and I told him I was busy, and he said that he just wanted to see how I was doing. I said you had to call me 10 times in one day just to see how I was doing? I asked him why he didn't leave a voicemail and he didn't say why. His mother said he was comfortable and happy with his new friend. He said he was not for me, but he did not want me to get married or have a boyfriend. he knows I don't listen when he says that stuff.I don't bother him at all, at gave him his space and let him live his life, and all I asked was him to leave me alone so I could move on with my life. I understand that he wants to check on me and see how I am doing, without it meaning that he wants to get back with me, but I don't think it should be every week, or every month for that matter especially when you have someone else in your life. I told him to only call me every once in awhile or once a month, but he could not do that. So now, if I want to hear from him, I will have to call him. He says that he is worried that I won't call him ever again. He is probably right, and I told him that I didn't know whether I would ever call him again or not. I just don't understand what's going on with him, we were never best friends in the relattionship, because he didn't share all his problems with me, so I don't know what it is. He says he doesn't feel guilty because he feels like he did the right thing by breaking off the relationship. I don't know what'ss going on. I guess I'm just venting. Thanks for reading and replies are welcome.
  12. Please help me. I met my ex today and it was great - we were laughing away and having a good time, then the bombshell hit saying he is not sure whether or not he wants to be friends - i am sitting here in tears as i still love him and it hurts. I amnot sure what to do now we split up three weeks ago and I am still in such pain. I have a guy friend that will offer me the world onm a plate too but I am still so messed up about this and I dont know what to do. Please help - why is this happening to me???? UPDATE: My ex text me and said that he wants to come over and see me next week as apparently he thinks i still have stuff of his here - i dont, I text him and said that he must have got it with the rest of his stuff as i do not have it here, but he said that he wants to come over anyway to see me and to sort out this situation again. i find that if I text him honey and baby, and that I will be here for you to talk too he repsonds if i dont he does not wnt to know! !I do not understand this. Why one minute decide not to be friends and then the next he wants to see me??? Please help as i do not understand this. pleaes help me - not sure what to do
  13. Hey everyone, this is my first post on here. Alright heres the story we went out in 8th grade and the summer to 9th grade but broke up soon after school started. Ive only had one girlfriend since then which was short lived but ive always had feelings for my ex. Im now a sophmore (10th grade) and we only have one class together and we talk everyday after that class, or when she walks by my locker shell say hi, sometimes touching my back. We text eachother almost everyday, and the occasional phone call. Im a pretty shy guy its hard to look her in the eyes im not good at making eye contact. but shell touch my arm or comment me on something usually to get my attention. But when she texts me she usually says im really bored or something and i feel like she just texts me cause shes has nothing better to do, or do you think she says that just to say it or what? We often joke about taking Yoga classes cause im not flexible and i play football she says it would help. We never did anything all summer when we went out went to the movies and the fair that was it, her friend says it was becuase her mom wouldnt let her and if you went out with her this time it would be diffrent because shes sixteen. I told her friend i had feelings for this girl and she keeps telling me to ask her out but right now were good friends and i would hate to jepordize it. But i see her talk to one other guy, i saw her fix his collar one day and my heart dropped im hoping there was no intention to it. Were completley diffrent guys with diffrent personalities, i play football, hes not in school related activities, i like music he doesnt, well were opposites. What do you think?
  14. hey guys.you may remember i posted about a friend that i liked.well she didnt have the same feelings for me but its ok as things are just the same as before. anyway,ive always thought that our friendship was a bit distant.i live in town while she lives outside of town.the main problems are that she doesnt hang out with my group of friends(due to a dispute with one of them)and we both are busy people. i just want to get close to her.i do text her and we do talk on MSN from time to time.but its kind of rare for her to text me or phone me.i just wish she would from time to time. any ideas?
  15. Well, I went through a rough patch with my boyfriend a couple of months ago, where we went from being a couple who couldn`t get enough of each other to barely seeing each other ( largely because of his job) Up until a few weeks ago things were 10 times better, back to the good old days, but have recently started to slip. We agreed that we would try and talk every day but it has now been 3 days since I have spoken to him and nearly a week since I last saw him. On the first day he didn`t phone I tried to call him a couple of times but the phone rang out. The next day I was excpecting some sort of acknowledgement of my attempt to contact him but got nothing- not even a text message. On the 2nd evening I tried to phone him again but found his phone switched off so he had evidently got my missed calls. I sent him a text saying how upset I was that he couldn`t even be bothered to text me back and that he was slipping into his old habits again. I was fully expecting some sort of phone call from him but instead I got one text message from him today saying that he was `in a meeting`. I`m sorry but I will not be taken for an idiot. He was effectively saying that he spent 36 hours being so busy at the office that he didn`t have 5 seconds to send a reply to my text. It`s now been 72 hours since we last spoke and in that time he has made no attempt to return my calls save for one miserable text that didn`t even contain an apology. I feel really frustrated right now especially as I have had some other issues with my boyfriend. We have talked about this problem many times, his taking me for granted and not returning my calls or messages for hours/days and he is slipping back into those habits. Why is he doing this? Why des he feel like he can just go for days without a phone call depsite all our talks? I feel like playing him at his own game and not answering his calls if he does phone back but I miss him and love him and so couldn`t do that.. I really need some friendly advice..
  16. Well, I guess first I should link my old thread: link removed In there I went against everyone's advice which I guess I should have taken in the first place. Since then, we were together again and things were a little rough in the beginning, with trust issues and such. She would be there for me every night when I cried on the phone; she was there for me, she was caring for me. Ever since, she has not contacted her ex at all for me, she even cancelled her trip to India for me. We were active, going out a few nights a week, having a lot of fun.. and every now and then we would get into a stupid argument. I am at fault in a lot of places also, I would get mad at her when she didn't call me because I would think she was calling someone else or something along those lines. I never actually said why I would get mad, but I would just be upse with her on the phone. I know that I probably shouldn't have been this way but my emotions take over me so easily. The other night she had to go to her fathers house (her parents are separated) and she had to spend the night there and her father doesn't know about me, only her mother does. So she sent me a text message at 9:00 or so saying she couldn't call but would try to call later. Hours go by and I wait.. we exchanged a few more text messages, I was upset I just wanted to talk to her for 1 minute (she goes to a different room usually to call me for a minute) but she kept sending the same message over and wouldn't call "I'm going to bed, goodnight babe" So I was upset again. Man I am really starting to realize my faults as I write this. I shouldn't have been mad at her I should have understood. Well the next day she calls me from work during her lunch and I was upset with her on the phone and I got a vibe from her that she wasn't thrilled about it either. After this I realized that I wasn't being fair and I sent her 2 emails the first telling her that I was sorry for everything and not just today but including past incidences like this. She was happy, or seemed it anyway after the emails and a phone call. I figure cool, everything is ok again. So I call her when she gets home from work and she only had a few minutes since she had to pick her brother up at the airport and it takes her 2 hours to drive there. So I call her while she is driving and she doesn't pick up I tried 4 times probably. She calls me at 10:30 telling me his flight is delayed until 12:30 and that her and her mom are going to get some food in the city. I try to call her numerous times between these times and she doesn't pick up. Finally she calls me back at 1:10am telling me she is waiting for her brother at the terminal. Well she sends me a text message or two after that saying that she will be home very late and will call me tomorrow. Now I am always up til 4am (night shift) so I send her more messages asking her to call when she gets home because I will still be awake, even if its just for a minute. She doesn't call me back until 10:30 this morning. She was upset because she said she feels she always has to answer to me about everything (which is related to the trust issue in the other post). Then she goes on saying that she can't be in a relationship right now and that she needs to be single and have some time and freedom to herself. So she dumped me on the phone, then she called me maybe 5 hours later to see if I was ok. I told her that I would not make her answer to me, she didn't have to call me all the time, etc etc, and that I just wanted to be with her. She told me not to make this any harder than it was already. I was upset, scared, didn't know what to do so I called her mom who wasn't aware of the breakup, she told me to tell everything that I had already told her (that i wouldn't be so posessive of her, that i would give her space, and things like this) So i call her and I tell her again, and ask her to meet me today just to say goodbye, she said she couldn't because she was afraid that we would end up back together again and she wanted to take a break now. So I asked her how long this break would be and she didn't have a definate answer just said I don't know, maybe a month, maybe less, maybe more. I should also mention that we were going to move in together starting September 1st. So I say ok I want you to be happy, and whatever it takes is what you have to do. We agree to call eachother when we are feeling really low and maybe meet up every now and then until things are better. She said she needs to find herself and she doesn't know who she is anymore and she can't commit to anything. So we are on a break now, I feel horrible I don't think she will come back, I don't know what to do. I just feel scared, helpless, inside. I haven't eaten anything all day, lost all of my appetite. Smoked a lot of cigarettes. I guess I am wondering what everyone thinks, and if there is a possibility or not.. or just try to move on now? Thanks everyone.
  17. Ok - I have just finished a long term relationship 5 Months ago. Need some help and dust off the rust! Bit long, so will be brief as possible, but any advice appreciated - it's been a mad week. Had a few drinks together, but no date. She dropped hints to a mutual friend that she fancied me Went out as a group She ended back at mine, we slept together, but not full sex Arranged to call her She text me saying she had a great night, I replied saying I will call soon and thanks I left it for 3 days and called just before she went away for a week with work (out of the country) She invited me round hers Slept together again – not full sex – didn't even attempt (Hard but don't want to seem easy) Saw her off on the plane Phoned me to say arrived - general chat I text her later to say have a good time, great to see you last night, will call when you return No contact for 2 days, she text late at night to say "Just saying Hello, how are you" Not wanting to be to keen I left a reply till the morning to say "good morning" She then text "having a good time, but im feeling sexy, you have opened the gates" I text back to say, "keep them shut for now, I might help them open when you return" Now, Im mad for her, but don't want to let on. I have arranged to take her out on a date 3 days after she gets back, but I know she will want to see me when she gets off the plane. Should I? How should I play it whilst she is away? And should I let on how mad I am for her, or just play it cool. Any help appreciated, but I don't believe I can be this lucky!
  18. I havent been on this board for awhile and I guess its because I am feeling a lot better about my situation. In the middle of April my I decided for my ex that she needed space and time to grow and be a young college student ( she was 19), because I saw in her actions that she felt tied down. It was hard at first but we still remained in contact, not talking for only about 3 days at most. We are perfect for eachother and we love eachother and we are still very open about our feelings. She knows I am the one for her but she feels that she just doesnt want to "Settle Down" right now, and she doesnt know when she does but she does want it to be with me. Right at the end of July I told her that us talking all the time like we were still dating, was only halting her personal development. Basically she wanted to be free yet have me there emtotionally there for her. It hurt her to not be able to talk to me and she ocasionally slipped and called and left text messages saying how much she loved and missed me. I had a hard time too but I would only return text messages. I started seeing someone randomly for fun shortly after and it turned intimate, but I had no real feelings for this person. She called one night and asked If I had been w/anyone and told her that I had had sex but it was only a one time thing. She was very upset because it still hurt and cried and didnt want to talk anymore so she hung up. (about two days later I asked her and she said she had been taken out by about 15 guys however nothing ever went beyond kissing). The next day she called and said that she would be flying through Chicago on her way out east for vacation. I went to see her and you could tell she was upset but I was so excited to see her. She was even more beautiful than I remembered. Since that day Jul 30 we have began talking everyday again but I think its just beause she is bored because she doesnt sound happy yet still calls. We talk about the future so passionately even going so far as to having a 25 minute conversation about our childrens names. We always talk about what we are going to do when she gets back etc. (shes out at a lake house staying with her aunt and uncle). A couple of Nights ago I made the mistake of reminding her that we cant do this forever (the state of limbo) and she has to decide what she wants to do and she got upset and said i was pressuring her. It was not my intention but it came off that way. She cooled down and called me the next night and I apologized but I dont know what to do. Should I continue to wait for her and talk to her or just cut her out of my life. I was so at ease when we werent talking yet now I am contantly thinking about her again. I want her in my life because I love her but I dont think I can be her part time lover, or am I stupid to thow this away because she cant commit to me right now she still showers me with love and affection but I feel totally helpless. Any Advice would be highly appreciated thank you.
  19. I need an answer from the guys here (or girls). This guy I've fancied for ages came up to me a few days ago and asked if I'd do him a favour (I'd only been talking to him a couple of times before), he wanted me to check out something for him at work and he said he'd give me his number and I could text him about it. Does that mean anything?? Be completely honest with me here!
  20. hi, i have known this girl for 6 months or so now, she is 19, im 17. we worked together for the first few months that we knew each other and flirted all the time we were working. since we stopped working together i have tried to lkeep in contact by text, but its always me starting the conversation and her ending it. i finally plucked up the courage to give her a ring yesterday and she didnt answer the phone. i dont want to stop talking with her, what shold i do?
  21. Hi, It has been 13 days since I last spoke with my ex. I told her that I couldn't just switch to being "best friends" overnight and that is is best if we have some time without any contact. As I have said in other posts, she sounded a bit miffed about this as if it was up to her, we would still be speaking/texting virtually every day. She did say originally that she needs some "time and space" so now she is getting it, plus I need it too. Like I said, it has now been 13 days. Not very long in the grand scheme of things. But what I wanted to know is, how long should I give it before initiating contact? I know it is impossible to say an exact time frame, but roughly speaking? A month? 2 months? If I play things right I still believe there is a chance for us (she even said this the last time we spoke). I'm aware that she could have been using me as a security blanket, which is an extra reason to do No Contact in the meantime. We live about an hour's drive away from eachother, so I won't bump into her at work or anything. Any thoughts or suggestions anyone? Thanks again, Rich
  22. I'm torn between drawing a complete line under the relationship with my ex, or staying friends in the hope that we will get back together. It is such a tough decision. The thing is, I know there is a chance that we could get back together. I'm not just holding blind hope here. Various things have given me this impression: -Just a couple of months ago she said she'd found the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. -She still wants me in her life as I am her "best friend." -She sent me a text message days after the break up saying "There is still hope for us...I can't guarantee anything but I've been thinking about you." -I told her jokingly that if we went on a night out and got drunk we'd end up kissing and we'd regret it - she said "who says we'd regret it?" -She says I will ALWAYS be the most important person in her life. ...I know all of these things could also be interpreted as the usual danger signs like 'leading me on by a string,' 'her keeping one foot in the door,' 'having her cake and eating it,' and so on. That is why I am really confused. It has been 18 days since I calmly explained that I couldn't be her "best friend" right now as I need to come to terms with what has happened. I told her I would send her a text message or something when I felt a little more ready. Ready for what though? I haave made progress in the 18 days, and while I still cry sometimes and I feel sad, it is better than speaking to her everyday and listening to what she is doing. My problem is I don't know what to do next. If I draw a line under the relationship it might help me heal and move on quicker, although it will be painful in the short term. However, I may regret not trying to stay in touch in case we end up giving it another go. I really think that she is 'the one' so I desperately want her to change her mind. If I follow myjoy's strategy outlined in another thread, then that obviously involves staying friends with her, building up the positive moments with her etc. I believe this could work, but am I prepared to risk being hurt in the long run if she decides to be with someone else? It is such a complex situation - and all these thoughts about the 'next step' are driving me mad! Does anyone have any advice on my situation? Thanks a lot, Rich
  23. Me and my ex broke and and we are "supposively" friends now, but we just don't talk anymore. We haven't talked in like 3 weeks and I'm wondering if we are still friends or whatever, so i text messaged her cell phone cuz i didn't know if she wanted to talk to me or not on the phone and i asked her stuff about our status of the friendship and she never text messaged me back. Her birthday is coming up soon. I don't know if If she wants me saying Happy Birthday or not?? I dont even know if we are friends anymore. What u think I should do? Just don't talk to her no more either?
  24. man today was our last day-we had a final english had to write a 3 page essay on these short stories we read. it was a 2 hr exam. the gal that likes me left like 15 minutes before the exam was finished i was about to leave too, but couldn't b/c i had to double check my essay-the exam is worth a lot of marks. i thought she was going to write till the bitter end of the exam and then we talk about -which topic you picked for the final, or how did u feel about the exam or something and also buying or exchanging text books from her-she is taking 3 courses that i have to take in sept. just askin if i could buy em off her for a cheaper deal than the book store-ripoff.that way i could get her e mail addy or number. but is was too late. i thought if she really liked me she would wait for me outside the class room door to talk to me. maybe i should jsut drop it and go after another gal. i had a chance as we were getting into the classroom-she was walking down the hall way before the test but chickened out. she should have said good luck on the test or hi jeff to me or something i now and seem this gal glance in our regular classes at me and i think she likes me but i really wish she become more assertive u now talk to me or say hi or start a converation. guess i have to wait till sept if i even see her lol -but we won;t have any classes together as she took the courses this summer as i will take em in sept-i was late to registering and didn;t get all classes i want.
  25. I broke up with my girlfriend about 6 weeks ago. I have not seen her for about 25 days now. I general I have distanced myself from her. If she wants to communicate with me, she would have to be the one that initiates it. This seems only logical since she dumped me. Anyways, she started to text message me more frequently. Asking me what I was up to, who i went to the movies with, etc. My brother told me to answer to her questions but be brief and sort of cold. In general, she has not shown emotion either. But the fact that she has been wondering what I have been up to means she has been thinking about me. Yesterday she text me saying that she has been busy lately and has not seen me in a while and misses me. I quickly changed the subject. Was that right? Now that she has shown some emotion does that mean I should too? Because I do love her, and I have learned that although life will go on without her I would prefer life with her. Or am making something out of nothing, she has said that she thinks of me as a friend. She also wants to hear this cd that I had compiled but I am reluctant to give it to her because it kind of has some lyrics that too revealing as to how I feel. I hope for some advice, take it easy.
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