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About CynicalGuitarist

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    Silver Member
  • Birthday 12/21/1987
  1. I guess whenever SOMEONE talks about themself somewhat, that entails that they're "selfish" or "self-centered" just because they have problems with themselves and have the AUDACITY to express dissatisfaction with them in ways society doesn't seem to agree with. Like somehow, my problems should be easier to deal with just because someone else has it worse. Why not go up to a blind man and tell him "hey, at least you've got ears?" I've never actually seen someone's own life improve just because they're glad that the sun is shining and all 10 digits are functioning. Maybe that's the only reas
  2. I'm expecting to watch as much anime as possible within 3 years or so and enjoy the good parts before hell comes back to me again. If you think being a musician isn't helping the world or is "self centered", think about the late 60's-70's. Think about Pink Floyd and Radiohead and all the people out there who would've offed themselves if not for the fact that there's someone out there to relate to. Think about Hendrix and Lennon trying to spread their ideals of love and peace throughout the world. Think about (real) hip hop encouraging people to think in creative poetic ways. Sure, nowda
  3. I feel like I'm already dead. I've grown tired of "having faith in myself" when the reality of the situation is that my "self" sucks. I'm a horrible person; I don't deserve life, or anything great. I don't even know how the hell I ended up feeling entitled to these things 'cause of my never-ending stream of supreme idiocy, stubbornness, bad luck, bad serendipity, manic depression, caffeine addictions, ADHD, masturbation addictions, and all. I'm tired of money and never having enough. I can't even work stupid menial jobs or go to school because I can't force myself to pay attention to
  4. the reason I know what I do is usually coincidence, dumb luck, and pure accident. I'm probably one of the dumbest people on the planet; anyone who truly knows me knows this is absolutely true. It takes a moron like me to screw up my own life in such a messed up way, and thinking so much of myself and myself alone. I'm a horrible selfish person. I just want to spare the world and everyone else of all of my selfish misery.
  5. Well... it happened. I thought my life was gonna look up for once and I could start feeling better. I was wrong. WHY WHY WHY does this happen every time things start to look up and perhaps get a bit better? Computers suck (especially Microsoft. Windows Vista gets an F minus in my book). Mine has one million and one problems with it (not literally) and I have to press REFRESH on firefox at least 10 times to get most sites to even PARTIALLY WORK. It takes 20 minutes to get a 5 minute video to play, which means I'm not getting my anime fix... that alone makes me minorly cranky. I can ba
  6. Perhaps try watching movies you BOTH hate?
  7. I've been very conflicted lately. On one hand, I've been doing as much as I can to try and better myself, be as pro-bono as I can be in these times, "love thyself", and all... but none of it seems to make a difference. I try putting on a smile, doing tons of physical labor until my muscles ache, don't bother with drama kings/queens, and act like nothing bothers me; but it does. Sometimes, I wonder how much being a 'nice guy' really works. Nothing's changed; I stopped pumping the porpoise everyday but I'm still horny. I try to be as pleasant as possible, but some people still want me
  8. Know that feeling way too well. I know I've screwed my own life up alot as is (let alone the people who were less than kind to me) and wanted to just give up and off myself in hopes that the next life is better than this one. I still fight the misanthropic, horny, nihilistic, angsty half of me. However, I try to keep telling myself that "if I'm gonna be this big of a loser, and my life this much of a pathetic comedy, might as well make it the best one the gods have ever seen!" That's my drive, my motivation. People who are dying reach for life and many living people wish to die... because
  9. If it makes you feel less alone... I'm a singer, too. I'm not very good, and it's pretty much all I live for too. I'm sorry about all your pain, and even though, in the end, it's your choice what you do with yourself... I hope you don't pull through. As pathetic and miserable as life is... maybe you might wanna consider what the only good thing in Pandora's Box was? Hope. Maybe think about that for a bit and let it sink in. No matter how bad things get, we always have hope... realistic or not. I know how hard it is losing a parent... I lost my dad almost 3 years ago... it hurts to thi
  10. Wow... I almost don't like admitting this, but reading that post and hearing about this makes me wanna smoke a cigarette. What a tragic emotion love can be. It's tough... especially at such an age like that, where most teens/young adults just don't know what they want or just how fragile our hearts really are. People can be cruel, and so can emotions. I know he'll be missed, he seemed a bright, kind young man from his posts that I read. I hope he's in a better place where he doesn't have to deal with these earthly problems. Isn't it depressing how it's always the ones we least expect; th
  11. Pot... it may not help my hefty neurotic problems... but it sure as hell makes it easier to laugh at things and sleep better at night!
  12. 2. canoodling 1. any form of sexual activity ex: flirting, sex, making out, cuddling, hugging, kissing, and many more... from link removed Man, couples ONLY. bummer. Valentines day is my favorite day to get high (not necesscarily 4:20) but I can't smoke pot or buy alcohol for that matter
  13. I get a rush from doing this... it feels really good to me.
  14. Oh my god... valentines day is THE worst hallmark holiday EVER. I HATE it with every ounce of blood within me (besides the bit of candy my mom leaves for me, and I go out and eat more and end up getting really sick) because of all the mushy frikin pish-posh. I'm going to spend all day inside my house punching myself in the face and throat as hard as I can because I hate it... I HATE valentine's day so much that it makes me wanna scream! Just what I need... more reminders of my own lonliness... You all can go ahead and play that "get well" card on me like my mom does; tell me "it's not as b
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