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CynicalGuitarist

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About CynicalGuitarist

  • Birthday 12/21/1987

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  1. It's funny... the world's supposedly gonna end on my 25th birthday.
  2. Both hurt me equally. For a guy who sings, I either don't talk enough, or I talk waaaay too much. But I know what you mean all too well. At this point, having a girlfriend or a girl ever being nice to me without BSing me... is pretty much a pipe dream. I guess I'd make a lousy boyfriend anyways. I may not be alone, but I take that lonliness to a new level because my problems aren't easily seen on the surface. Life is nothing but a collective nightmare... but most people see it as a dream because they see nothing wrong... or of course they might know it's a nightmare, but do nothing to try and wake up.
  3. My doctors don't know jack about me. I think one of the major cruxes of my problems is ADHD, but I don't wanna take medicine for it... as most ADHD medications are 3 molecules (I'm not a scientest, obviously) away from speed. I don't wanna be a speed freak; I'm way too small and skinny. So, what makes you think my doctors will successfully ever diagnose me? Don't get me wrong, I still want to die... I'm just waiting around to see if this crappy movie will get any better. As Mr. Bill Hicks has said before "It's just a ride".
  4. I recommend Icke's "Secrets of the Matrix" (if it's still on google video) and for hicks, simply type in "Bill Hicks" in any video search engine.... usually on google video, they tend to have a lot of his full shows if you're lucky enough to find 'em.
  5. Thanks, I take influence from David Icke and Bill Hicks... I know a lot of people think they're weird and even dangerous, but they're an inspiration to me... people who aren't (or weren't) afraid to share their beliefs and take a big risk by voicing against the "powers that be", to say at the least. RIP Bill Hicks
  6. Hello, Thank you for your kind words and generous advice. I'm sure you know that I am all alone living in a society where money and materialism and all define who we are instead of ourselves defining who we are, despite the tired, inane religious zealots (of all religions, not just christianity) whose plea to crucify the flesh only really preaches to the choir (pardon the pun). I don't know what lies beyond my body, and (for god's sake) I hope my spirit self isn't as ugly, indecisive, cowardly, and introverted as my physical self. Ever since I was a kid, I've been fascinated by death. I wonder why and if things really die and where they go regardless. Sadly, the enemy has already won. The truth is, we live in a cold, mechanistic, placid technocracy run by semi-civilized beasts still operating out of the reptilian brain. Sometimes I think the only way I will ever win is if I cease to exist.... because I didn't wanna be born in the first place. It was (amongst other decisions) something that's already been decided for me, and that's probably my sole defense of the human race. As pessimistic and depressing as my beliefs are, I still wake up each day in hope of some kind of miracle that will get me out of the pathetic microcosm of bone, organ, and tissue which is my life. Sounds pathetic? It's probably the only thing enabling me to wake up in the morning.
  7. I agree. As I've said before... somebody has to be the screw up. Somebody has to be the tool. Somebody has to be the Charlie Brown-esque figure who gets disappointed. Somebody has to be the loser... otherwise, we'll just have a world full of perfect angels and that would be incredibly boring... so yeah, I actually agree with you.
  8. Nice. It is very seldom that you hear about the fact that the "weirdos" can be just as bad as the "populars" and the only real difference is their clothing/music choice. I guess that's because it's something I've actually experienced first-hand. I've always liked this quote: "To be a non-conformist like us, you must wear the same clothes as we do and listen to the same kind of music". Very interesting. Keep 'em coming.
  9. It was on the homepage for some reason...
  10. Maybe you need a new challenge. Why not try some videogames or something; maybe take up a board game like Dungeons and Dragons? Or the contrary; why not volunteer to aide the less-fortunate. No matter where you are in the world, there are deprived, incorrigible people that are in need of food, shelter, security, warmth, and love. Or perhaps, read some of the stories on here if you want to re-assure yourself of how well-off you have it. I wish I had what you did; -I have no job, and because I'm physically repulsive and screwed up in school, am stuck looking at the bottom of the bottom of the barrel. -Because of social reasons and the fact that I'm not "cool" or "popular" or "happy" like I'm 'sposed to be like everybody else, I have no girlfriend and gave up hope with women altogether. -While I have a comfortable home and am not living on the street, I'm probably stuck living with my mom for a long time (which lowers my chance with ANY woman ever) and sometimes choke my neck in hopes that I may free myself from the lonliness and repitition of life. See; now we have come 'round full circle. I would tell you to smoke some weed and watch a really funny movie, but I don't know the first thing about women, so I'm not sure if your lady would take kindly to that...
  11. Give it time. I have roughly the same situation (but I'm jobless) and you're only 17, so enjoy the single life while you still can. Internet dating could be an option, but then again it's extremely shady and has some unavoidable risks involved. Sometimes, though, I suppose it's harder for some than others when it comes to finding someone. I guess all I can say is "give it time". That's coming from first-hand experience.
  12. very, very mature poem for someone your age. You're getting more noteriety for it than I do with my poems. Keep writing.
  13. Still around to harass? Truth hurts -_-'. I've done some canoing, and upstream isn't exactly easy.
  14. You're right. It's an ICX-120 I named Aura. The music scene around here is bollocks. Full of pompous, pretentious snobs and elitism. I've been to lots of shows, but everyone simply acts like I don't exist.
  15. could be better, could be worse. But still alive and kickin' for now.
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