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  1. My fiance and I have been together for 5 years. Although he is a loving, attentive and caring partner, he is also a bit controlling and had a few problems with my independence. In the last couple years our relationship was not going so great. But we still had many good moments that made everything worth it, and we were making efforts to adjust to each other’s needs, which was not so easy: I am the independent type, more career-oriented, while he is more romantic and focused on family and relationship. Also, he has bipolar disorder and refuses to treat it, letting it spill into our relationship in the form of anger and manipulative behavior. It has always been very confusing and hurtful and it got to a point that I didn’t know anymore if I wanted to spend my life with him, even though he was the most wonderful of men when he was in a “good day”. Also, I have always believed that I should be there for him no matter what and didn’t want him to see me as unsupportive or absent. I have a 12 year-old daughter that he used to treat as his. She was 7 when we met, and since then he decided to assume a paternal role (that i never asked for, by the way - her bio dad is not at all absent and I never was the lonely, overworked single mom figure; I am actually very resourceful and self-sufficient). In the beginning I thought his caring treatment of her was very sweet. But after a while we started arguing because he thought he had to have “rights” over her - to have a say in her hours, schoolwork, food choices, etc. To an extent that he started questioning even what his bio dad does for her, from medical opinions to Christmas presents. Whenever I disagreed with him, he played the outcast card - he said he didn’t feel wanted in my house or in my family dynamics. And that was not only in what concerned my kid, but in everything else. He never accepted the fact that I didn’t really need him to help care for my business or other things in my life - in his mind a relationship consists of two partners sharing all aspects of life and he used to get really resented when I didn’t want or need his inputs. He was always trying to push boundaries to get to a place where he could feel more in control. Thus, sometimes I would allow him to have his way so peace could be maintained and he wouldn’t feel “rejected”. My girl used to trust him entirely and we had a lot of fun together. Sometimes she would ask to share the bed with us, especially when she felt sick. Then one day, when she was 11, he started to bring her to our bed on the weekend mornings himself. That started bothering me and I would ask him to leave her alone in her own bedroom. But he wouldn’t listen. I got afraid to offend him and make him feel bad and “unwanted” - he was a good person, right? I thought, “well, he just wants to feel like we are a family”, and ended up allowing it a few times. Until the day my girl told me that he had touched her breasts while we were together in bed, and I was asleep. My world crumbled. I couldn’t believe I was living one of the worst mother’s nightmares. I confronted him. He said he was absolutely not aware of what had happened. We discussed the issue and, considering he had bipolar disorder, and that he had acted the same with me before (sexual touching while asleep), I suggested that he could have an underlying condition. It was hard to believe he was “that” type of guy. We talked, the three of us. He apologized, she took his apologies; life resumed. But she never treated him the same, getting very upset every time he came to spend the weekends with us. And honestly, I could never feel comfortable again when he was around. Then one day she told her school counselor. She was understandably not being able to get over the situation. And I got a call from Child Protection Services. A social worker visited my house, interviewed me, and talked to him on the phone. In the end the allegations of child neglect and abuse were deemed unfounded, but now I have to live with that stigma, and it is a very hard pill to swallow. I have been through so much to be with my child and raise her on my own, it was definitely unfair that allegations of neglect had fallen on me. With the quarantine, I had to suddenly stop seeing my fiance, and it was a wonderful opportunity to be on my own to evaluate our relationship, as well as heal my relationship with my daughter. The truth is that we are much better off without him in our lives. I felt responsible for what happened, for not being strong enough to go against his whims. I am facing a lot of guilt, thinking about what I could have done so she didn’t have to go through that, if I had been firmer and didn’t have the habit to ignore my discomforts so others could feel comfortable. But I also feel guilty for his feelings. He is miserable. He’s been writing to me and trying to get together, and rebuild our relationship. In our last chat I noticed that he is in a certain denial (or ignorance) of what it means for a woman, especially at my daughter’s age, to be inappropriately touched by a man. As much as I feel sorry for him, there’s no way I am going to put my child through having him involved with us again. Also, how to trust? How could I be sure that his behavior was triggered by a condition and not deliberate? I don’t know what kind of person I would be if I kept seeing the man that hurt my child. Unintentionally or not, the consequences of what he did are here and cannot be erased. He is expecting me to do something, and I know he is angry and feeling misunderstood. He probably thinks I don’t care. I feel really terrible for the whole situation and would appreciate any inputs.
  2. Things got bad due to cheating now im always up his butt calling his constantly and I’m always feel like im getting pushed to the side when it comes to his friends Basically we are a fun relationship he makes me smile etc but sometimes when i wanna talk to him (bc i cant see him often) he hangs up on me and i have to call him multiple times for him to answer then do it all over again. He doesn’t understand what I want despite me telling him multiple times “I dont want to be second to ur friends” and I say that bc he ignores me. And always cancels our plans due to work but see’s his friends after work. I really want this to get better but im so tired of having to call him so much and get ignored all the time
  3. I put a post about my ex and how I started NC. She contacted me that night asking if I was okay and we started to talk again, then she started to ignore me while being online.. so I blocked her again and then rang her the next day asking why she treats me so badly, she says she doesn't.. then said she will message me later, she did so and we had another conversation.. to where I tried ring her but she was on the phone for 2 hours at 12am.. She then rang my friend and told my friend to remember that I broke up with her, so my friend said you need to block her because she isn't strong enough so my ex replied I will speak to her tomorrow.. I recieved no message but I knew she wasn't very well, so I rang her asking if she is okay, she said she isn't well but will call me later.. I messaged her later on because I noticed she was online and asked if she needed anything, she blatantly ignored me so I got pissed off and blocked her again.. she messaged me on instagram and said that she isn't well but baring in mind her house mate sent me a snapchat of them drinking 🥺.. so I didnt reply at all, then today I noticed after 4 months of not posting a picture on Instagram, she posts a new picture.. this evening I went the shop and she saw me but completely blanked me.. so I messaged her tonight and said that I miss her and can she ring me, I tried to call her and she said, I'm at work I'll ring when I can.. I replied look, have I done something, she turned around and said she can't do the arguing anymore, so I said okay, I miss you as a friend and just tell me what you want me to do, whether you want to talk or not I'll respect your decision. I just can't for the life of me, understand why she hasn't blocked me but ignores me and only speaks to me now and then, I'm waiting on a reply and she's online now but hasn't seen my message.. my heart is breaking and I dont know what to do
  4. I hadn’t saw my boyfriend in 3 weeks, I had been suggesting things to do when we saw each other and he didn’t seem interested, I had a feeling he wasn’t missing me. I shared my feelings with him and he got real defensive, I told him no need to be defensive that we can have a mature conversation about it and how we are feeling. He took the huff and has given me the silent treatment for a week. I had ordered a gift for him online before this happened and it was delivered 2 days after this , he did not txt to say thanks. I txt him 2 days after that to see if he received it and was he actually being thick with me for sharing my feelings, he replied about the gift and ignored my other question. We have not spoke since. This is the second time this has happened after me expressing my feelings.
  5. So I met a girl online. same age as me 30 and nice girl. We met a few times and even i gave her ring in January and she accepted. Now problem starts afterwards as I asked if she would like to meet me on valentines day and she says she doesnt believe in valentines. ok , fast forward suddenly corona started and i was stuck in milan and she in the NL. from that time she has started ignoring me uptil the point i had to chase her and now she says she used to love someone from past and now that ex is back. How does this happen? Is it normal to go back to your ex when you are dating someone else and have accepted ring even
  6. How many times can you talk to someone about the same issues and be ignored? How long can you wait? I find myself alone during all of this going on in the world and I shouldn't be after being in a relationship for over 3 years. I just feel so alone in it all. Do I hang in through this or just let go? Thanks for reading.
  7. Me and my boyfriend started talking this time last year and we started talking and he made me wait a good six months until asking me out that whole time talking to loads of girls . And only figuring out he wanted to be with me after we stopped talking for a short period . We were together and the whole time I saw him doing small things like following loads of girls and liking old pictures but I tried to ignore it never thinking he’d do that to me.Then on New Year’s Day he went to this massive party proceeding to try to make a private story so he could document the night on Snapchat. He accidentally made a group chat and I could see everyone he was planning to add and one girl was a girl he previously talked to and I got angry and questioned him about it and he flipped it on me saying I was overthinking it . I did not talk To him that night he was out and he ignored me until I text him the next day where he proceeded to break up with me being extremely short no love . Then a few days later he texts me asking for me back but I’d a feeling he was in loyal at tha party and he told me he had kissed another girl (only after I asked did he admit this he would’ve never told me he even told me this ) . Some how I forgave him and tried to move on but I couldn’t let it go I started getting paranoid having dreams and checking his followers and what he was liking . And We fought and broke up two times since the Cheating incident always ending up on us back together . Recently I started noticing him following loads of pretty girls from my area and I brought it up trying to tell him it was irritating me and making me insecure he then got mad and broke up with me again saying he can’t keep going back and forth with me . He was short breaking up with me like always and I know he’s going to ask for me back and I don’t know what to do ? Am I the problem? Am I being too paranoid? Or is he just not understanding how insecure he’s made me .
  8. I don't know if my ex is playing games or not. We have been talking on and off for a while and at first she was very cold towards me but as things progressed I managed to get her more warm towards me, being jokey and having a bit of a laugh. Previous to this I had asked her to meet for coffee and although I didn't get a no I didn't get a yes either and after asking again two weeks later I promptly got ignored which has happened before where she will talk then all of a sudden disappear. When she does this I make no attempts to contact her again. She will still however post happily al over social media, so she is blatantly ignoring me. More recently she's been asking questions of me, saying that she's pleased that my job is going well(I got a promotion) and seemed interested to talk. She then once again completely disappears. She ignored me for FIVE days then all of a sudden popped up again answering to my previous conversation and even starting a new one. I replied to her after a few hours and she hasn't replied since, that was six days ago now. I really don't understand why she is doing this. Why start a new conversation if you're going to ignore me? Inbetween this she has added new guys etc and posted happily again all over social media. So she is (I think quite rudely) blatantly ignoring me again. I'm beginning to think she might be playing games? It really hurts when she does this, but I can't bring myself to block her, it's my only means of communication and I still want her back. I'm keeping quiet in my social media and doing my best to enjoy my holidays. Can anyone give any advice? Am I over reacting by thinking it's rude?
  9. Broke up with my first boyfriend years ago, it affected me a lot because he has a "type" and I can't help but compare myself to the new women he may be dating. We remained friends (no longer) for a while and I recall this conversation that I go over and over in my head; Him: She never texts me but I'm just trying to respect her space Me: She must be damn hot or something for you to still try and work things out despite her ignoring you for weeks like that Him: She IS hot...... I am definitely still in love with him and these thought I'm afraid are becoming crippling to my self esteem. Should I try and make arrangements to speak to a conselor about this? Has Anyone else experienced this?
  10. Hello everyone. I'm new here and it's my first time ever i do something like this to go out and search for advice about a problem i have in my relationship, i really never ever ask anyone for advice about my relationship so it's my first time and i'm so desperate i just don't know what to do anymore and i think i've tried everything and yet i'm so lost right now that i'm questioning myself.. So let me explain. I'm in a long distance relationship with my girl now more than 4 years. We live 1600km from each other and to make it short it's safe to say it was really difficult and still is, we've had sooo much problems with my parents and almost whole family and even between us. She doesn't trust me like at all but for that i'm the one to blame i'm responsible for that so it's my fault but the thing right now is this: We started dating in 2015 and in order for me to go see her as much as i can i found a job (in a market) where i was able to go see her once a month for like 3 4 or even 5 days, i've had this agreement with my boss but i hate i hate that job so much like i'm becoming crazy because of it but i'm doing it now for 4 years just so we could see eachother but the thing is my girlfriend wants me to completely ignore other girls especially the ones from my job. She's oke for me to respond to clients and stuff who comes at the store but she does not want me to have any but like ANY contact with female collegues no private talk and no work talk so when some female collegue comes to me to ask any question as stupid as that question may be for example "some client want this or that do you know where it is?" She doesn't want me to respond it's been like this for a while and i tried to respect that but it just seems impossible now don't think she's crazh or anything like that as i'm the only one here to know why she wants that but the thing is she wants me to do that and i do not feel capable of doing this it's like so hard how do you do what do you do when a female collegue comes to you and ask you such question how do you ignore and like just turn your head away or walk away AT YOUR JOB ? I'm not even allowed to move my head in order to respond yes or no without making any nois like TOTAL ignoring but i wish i could do this but i can't and now i'm left wondering should i be capable of doing this for my girlfriend when she asks for it am i crazy to feel like it's impossible to do that or am i wrong i really don't know anymore i really need advice and please ignore the reasons why she ask for such a thing i really never cheated or really never gave anything that i may be like intrested in some girl i really don't give a f... about all of those females collegues and she knows that but when she asks for such a thing should i be able to do that i mean is it like she says 'it's just ignoring when they come to you you like just leave that's it" ? Or is it normal that i can't do it because they didn't do anything wrong to me or her so whenever they come ans ask or say somethkng i feel so much under pressue and i'm like panicking note please we broke up some time ago because i lied i said that i did not answered to them then i said the truth that i did but only by knocking my head as a yes and no so i asked for a new chance and said i'm sure i can do it (to completelly ignore them) and she is like ready to give it to me but only under that condition that i ignore them ALL COMPLETELY so please help me out am i crazy to think this is impossible to do or should i be able to do that like could you guys do it ?
  11. Hi, I'm Male, sixteen and I recently had a bad fallout with a friend. For this story to make any sense I have to start from the very beginning. So I'm an only child and I live quite far away from anybody my age. I went to primary school and I was often semi-excluded because I didn't know anybody and I was smarter than everyone there. I kind of grew up to be narcissistic and competitive. For my first year of secondary school this continued although then I met this guy who I'll call X. For the first time I felt like somebody cared for me and I truly felt like over the next two years I grew a different personality. And i dont mean that my old personality developed but that a new one was actually created and that two people were living inside me. I cared about this person more than anything else in the world and I would have rather died than let them down. They were always there for me and I tried to be there for them as well . Then earlier this year around 3 months ago I had a dream where I was sleeping with X and it was amazing. I was really confused about this because I had always been straight and had never had such thoughts before. I also didn't want to develop a crush on my bff in case it would jeopardise everything I had become over the last 3 years. I tried to convince myself that a) I was simply mistaking sexual love for the strong friendship love I actually felt for him and b) I told myself he must be straight and came up with tons of reasons why he had to be. Then one day in town he asked me did I prefer the top or bottom half of a girl. I thought this was a strange question so just said " I dont know . You?" He then waited for a while before saying " I like penis" then he started laughing and said " way to make it awkward. It was a really weird conversation and thought that he must be joking so soon enough I forgot about it. Then the next week I was in town with him again with a few other friends and i started asking some general questions on sexuality such as whether there were more than 3 sexualities ( cause I thought I might be bicurious or something.) And then I said something about X pretending to be someone he is not. I said this because around me he made all these sex "jokes" but he didn't around other people. After that he stopped talking to me. I asked him why but he kept ignoring me. Eventually he told me that he had confined in me about being gay and that I had treated it as a joke. I tried to tell him that I hadn't known and I though my it was a joke but I dont think he believed me. He's been ignoring me for 2 months now and our mutual friends have all sided with him too. I really don't know what to do cause I dont want to live without him and have started to get really suicidal. I can't help but look depressed in school and I think that he thinks I'm just putting it on. I dont want to put him under pressure but I can't handle this any longer and he won't talk to me and will probably tell me to piss off if I try to talk to him. What should I do?
  12. Gonna try to keep this as short but detailed as possible. I dated this guy last year for 3-4 months & things were GREAT... until they weren't. Towards the end he started getting distant &inconsistent. He would ignore me, but post pics of him out & about. I asked him what was going on & he stated he had no time for anything other than work & that I was on the back burner. I felt horrible so I blocked him, erased his number &did my best to move on. NOW: I felt ready & tried to get back out there again so I downloaded tinder. & who do I see on there? Yup, him. Curiosity got the best of me so I swiped & we matched. It was followed by just basic chitchat & basically saying he regrets how things ended, that he's thought about me a lot & that he wants to SHOW me the kind of man he can be & that he would like to talk things out in person. I tell him I can't do the inconsistent thing this time, but agree to talk to him. The first couple days, it was nice to catch up. I asked to meet up on Sunday, but the day comes & he texts me to say he won't be able to make it. I was disappointed, but figured he would try to reschedule? The rest of Sunday and Monday he keeps texting me as if everything was ok, with no mentions of our much needed talk. Tuesday I let him know I couldnt keep acting like things were ok. I let him know how much it hurt me what he did last year & that I really needed to get things off my chest before we could move forward, but it didn't seem like this talk was a priority. He said he understood & he did apologize & say he was bummed he wouldn't get to take me to dinner. I told him I didn't mean that I didn't want to continue, but rather I just really needed this talk to happen. But its Sunday now, no texts, no calls from him. A year ago I was feeling crummy & I'm feeling the same way now. I dont get why he would even message me. we are back to the inconsistency, back to the no communication. I really cared about him and still do, but I'm just so confused.
  13. I am a fifty-year-old man. Al my ex-partners are very nice people and very beautiful. I consider my self lucky to be with them. I had many long term relationships but, now I know, I was never in love. I was with them because they wanted to be in relationship with me and I couldn't fault them. Two months ago I meet someone new. She is a friend of my friend and she lives in the US. All our communication were on Viber. I got photos from her and, to me, she was the most beautiful women I thought I had. She wasn't young, 45 yo, but I could not find any downsides which I would consider important to me. In fact, I never wanted someone too young. To me, she was perfect: intelligent, caring, funny with the most beautiful smile. We got along straight away and exchanged lots of romantic and humorous messages. It was weird how everything fit together. At one point I wrote to her how I feel but in order to continue, we had to see each other, at least on a video call to talk. I am currently having an extremely difficult time personally and I had developed anxiety. I wanted to tell her about my problems and to see how she would perceive it. It was very important to me that she knows all about me. We felt so much in love. She said she never felt so happy. I said I could not function. I guess it was more me than her but she conceded to me a few times that she never felt so strongly about anyone. I kept trying to talk to her but, even after we would agree to talk, she would just ignore it. She said that she had trust issues and she is trying to take baby steps in order to not get hurt. To me it was the opposite way: if we continue like we were, we would hurt each other even more. I felt almost disillusioned how much I was in love with her. It was scary. So I sent her my video message. She said she couldn't stop watching the video. She loved my voice, my look..but ignored my message again... We agreed to meet in Europe in a few months time. I was getting very nervous because I was not ready due to my temporary problems. She had two daughters and I had one. She could not see herself living far away from her children although she always dreamt to go back and live in the Mediterranean. On the other side, my daughter would not accept that I could go away. I couldn't leave her. In my head, it was impossible to solve the problem. At last, I managed to see her. It was morning in the US and she just got up. I insisted to talk to her. I said jockingly if we don't talk I would go on strike. She called me and I saw her for the first time. I felt even more in love. I was speechless. It was surreal. I was looking at her and she was staring at me. We were so much in love. After a few minutes, the line got cut of. As I was using pay as you go mobile package, I went outside to get some MB. I tried to call her back but she didn't reply. I was waiting 24 hours for a reply. I wrote to her that I had to tell her something. She joked that I am giving up the strike. I wrote that I no longer wish to continue with her. I wished her all the best. She only replied in a few words why she didn't respond. She blocked me and I had no chance to respond to say that I am sorry. I desperately tried to find her email on the net. After two days I found her on WhatsApp. I asked her to forgive me for what I did, I felt like an idiot and I was ashamed what I did to her, but I respect her decision not to communicate and not to come back to me. It was clear to me that she did not want to continue so I did not insist. I explained that I had a truly life-changing problem to solve in my life, and for the moment I lost it, due to my anxiety. I couldn't think clearly. Many hours later she replied that she was very hurt but due to her trust issues she developed with her ex she is not willing to risk it again. She blocked me. I am not sure how all this happened but I never felt so much in love. I know, it's odd because we met on Viber. That is very strange but it did happened. I am so in love and knowing that she is suffering makes me very sad...I am not a desperate man. I had many relationships in the past and I have confidence in myself. I can't get her out of my head. I am not a person to beg but knowing that she loves me and due to the trust issues she can't come back to me, makes me confused. I am very committed, honest person and I never cheated in my previous relationships. I made myself irresistible to her, I know how to do that. I don't feel guilty about that. I was honest. One silly mistake does not make me a horrible person. I didn't cheat her, I didn't kill anyone. I had a moment in my life and I admitted my mistake straight away. But she is gone. I feel we both lost something big. I don't know whether to forget her or try another way to approach her. Perhaps I should give some time to both of us. I would like to ask, especially ladies with trust issues, what you think I should do. How would you react if I got in touch?
  14. I was seeing my girlfriend for six months, and at the weekend she disappeared suddenly with no contact or reason given. I've been trying to get in touch with her but she is ignoring my messages and not answering my calls. The relationship became intense very quickly, and she told me that she loved me and had not fallen for somebody as fast as she did for me. I felt the same. Over the last couple of weeks she was distant with me and didn't want to see me as much as she usually did. I asked what was going on and all she said was she was feeling low and needed some space. On Friday I messaged her asking if everything was ok between us, she replied and said it was but maybe we should break up because she felt her being distant was unfair on me. I said I wanted to meet up to talk about it, and didn't want it to end especially not by a message. She agreed and said we would meet but that was the last I've heard from her. She's active online and is posting on social media so I know she is ok, and she is purposefully ignoring me. I love her and don't want to lose her, but I would at least accept it's over if we had a chance to talk and to say goodbye. It's killing me that I might not get closure or a goodbye or know what is going on with her and I can't concentrate on anything else. Any advice on how to get through this would be appreciated. Thanks.
  15. met this guy at uni. The first few days were a little bit weird because he would text me all day non-stop. I got used to it and I started liking him. As soon as it happened he started taking more time to respond to my texts. He’d come back saying “sorry I was eating dinner” or “sorry I didn’t get back to to you I was doing X thing”. He is super sweet in person and he told me he liked me, he even did a Spotify list with my name on it with all the songs I recommended him. I don’t know why I start thinking so much and start getting so paranoid just because he takes more time to get back to me via WhatsApp. In person he is caring, but I really hate that he sees my texts but decides to ignore them and reply just when he feels like it. I know I’m guilty of doing it but I can’t stand when somebody else does it to me. So, I started wondering ... why is he taking more time now than before?? I started being paranoid and I straight up asked him! He told me that it’s not on purpose, he apologized like 100x times, and said he feels really bad for the delays, that he is studying now, that he had much more time before so that’s why he would message me all the time but now he’s busy with uni. I totally get him because it’s happenin to me too, but I feel like he took more time for me before. At the same time he told me he apologizes and in such a cute way, that I was like awwww I’m overreacting. And I really wanna stop being so obsessive and possessive with people I’m dating. How can achieve this? I really want this guy to be my boyfriend: he shows me that he wants to be with me and Is sosososo sweet (he listens to the same music as I do, and has a lovely and mature personality) but social media is making me go crazy. It’s like you see that he’s ignoring you when you see him “online” and doesn’t enter the chat. Today for example he did that and I told him “stop ignoring meeeeee” (he used to do that when he met me so I was like okay, if I do it once there is nothing wrong) - and he told me “I’m sorry I was cooking and arranging a meeting with the guys to study Android” (we study computer science) so that’s why he was online and not replying to me. Agh I wanna stop being so needy and stop feeling anxious about things I can’t control. At the end of the day, I can’t control what other people feel/ think of me. I want to know, how do you manage this texting thing? I really want to know, people of Reddit with partners, how do you manage when your partner is “online” but doesn’t see your texts? I want to lower the importance I give to text messaging but I find it so hard. I’ve never been in a relationship before so I don’t know how it works. I know the other person is another person and has a life besides me, but idk what to think about this. Please help me give me advice
  16. I really really really miss my ex boyfriend. We have been broken up 2.5 years and I can’t forget him, I have dated 2 other guys that were nice and funny but didn’t make me feel like he made me feel. I’m getting older (32) and worried that I’m still even thinking of him at all. He has reached out to me three times in the time we have been apart, the most recent was last November saying how he much he missed me and would love the chance to even just be friends, I was scared of getting hurt by him again so brushed it off again and said “maybe” and never got back to him . I don’t know, i know when people write in on here saying “there ex contacted them” everyone’s advice is “ignore it they are after an ego boost” but I’m not after that I genuine miss him so much I just want to get over him but can’t seem too, any advice ?
  17. Hi everyone, I'm in a bit of a transition stage in my life at the mo and to cut a long story short I've moved in with my mum for a few months while I get money together for a house deposit and find a decent place. We have always had a strained relationship but it has gotten better in recent years. When I was growing up she was very critical of me and made daily comments about how I looked, especially my weight. I have carried a bit extra for most if my life except for a couple of stages where I lost an extreme amount of weight in extreme ways. I have recently put some weight back on and now fall into the 'overweight category which has made me feel quite bad about myself but she is treating me as if I'm morbidly obese and is making me feel so disgusted with myself and ashamed of what I see when I look in the mirror. I feel myself losing confidence, which I worked so hard to build, and slipping back into old habits like buying diet pills, skipping meals, obsessing over exercise and taking heavy detox drinks etc. I feel so terrible about myself I genuinely feel like a teenager again. Every day these past few weeks she has made negative, nasty digs about how I've "let myself go" and "need to get back on track". I know it sounds silly but I just feel so low right now and every comment from her eats away at my self-esteem a little more. I know parents should challenge you to be your best self but she ignores everything except my appearance and I only ever hear negative words come from her mouth. This can't be right??
  18. Jellybean9

    Manuka Honey?

    Hi Amazing Pet Owners! Just wondering what everyone's thoughts are for using Manuka Honey on small wounds on cats and dogs? I did a veterinary related degree and spent a lot of time with work experience in practice. I have seen many vets push medicines for "money" instead or using alternative natural treatments. I know some vets and rescue centers use it as a valid treatment but very rare to find those that advise this. I am not crazy and would never ignore going to the vet for something serious. I read an interesting article about a women who was prosecuted for using it on her cat and banned for having pets for a year! She literally ignored her cat's condition which lead to amputation of his leg and subsequently had to be put down which was sad. All this could of been avoided if she seeked medical care for him. So it's given some negative light to using it as manuka honey as a treatment. Let me know if you have used it and how your pet has got on with it.
  19. Hi, I have posted about my ex before here (for some background story: https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=555116 ) I thought that as several people said I maybe didn't show enough interest to him when he last said he was in town (please quickly read my first post as it explains what happened), and also for me to feel some closure (by opening my heart and knowing I did the best I could) I would send him a message saying I was thinking of him and that I'm grateful for the time we had together. I didn't do it expecting a reaction but rather to open up my heart and be better able to let it go that way. I let go of the fear of rejection and just did it. I really felt the need to be open as I'd never done that before with him and I wanted to do it for myself too. I also did it because I thought that if he was interested in me it would nudge him that I am interested, and that if he wasn't and I got "rejected" that that would be a bit of clarity in itself. He replied really quickly and asking questions like how I've been, when I said a lot's been happening he said he wants to know what's been happening; where I'm planning on going travelling in the future (I talked about travelling soon). Then, as he has done in the past, he stopped replying or even reading my last message, although he's been online. If he doesn't care for me then why didn't he just ignore my first message, why did he ask me questions? I truly don't understand him. Although, I know I've done the best I can now and there's nothing more I can do, and I'm glad I sent that mesage.
  20. Hello all. I'm 27, she's 46, the age was never a problem for me, I've dated older ladies before with no issues, she doesn't seem to have any issues with it. Little back story, I consider myself a very friendly guy, I usually go the extra step to show respect and make everyone happy, hate the thought of going over the line and being disrespectful. I haven't been in any sorta relationship for 3 years, just working and keeping busy. I always keep to myself, not shy, just prefer to be there only when wanted (which is a huge problem). Her and her daughter (10, home schooled) moved here from out of state with nothing but clothes, she got housing assistance and because she was in either the army or navy, and retired because of injuries, she has va help. No job, her daughter is homeschool. I'm the giving type, so I gave her some furniture, some things I didn't need and didn't use, naught her some house things. She is my neighbor, she actually asked me out for Halloween. She said she was into me at first, my lips, beard, blah. We went out to bars and drank alot, only gave what was given, such as shed kiss me, I'd kiss her. That week she gets sick, kinda felt like I was being ignored, but eventually she replied. I gave her flowers (said she loved), get well cards to both her and her daughter, that was also sick. So we finally go on another bar date that started at 2 pm, and went to 415 am, keep in mind, i paid for the first night out, and this night out. Boyfriend, girlfriend, love was thrown around by her, drunk, not talking to me, but to other folks outside of the bar where we were smoking, it was a couple arguments she was in, I had her back even if she was wrong. I showed her I had her back, it doesn't matter, because she was drunk and doesn't remember much at all. There was a lady selling flowers, so I bought her flowers at the bar,. So fast forward till now, and what I need help with. I would text her, and sometimes she wouldn't even reply for 4-6 hours, no reply to good mornings. I can't remember if she said just come over instead of texting, but I like to make sure I'm not interrupting anything, most times there's no reply. But I have been over there, and we still talk from time to time. It'd be easier to take screenshots of the messages and times to better understand. I have alot of problems with being ignored, I have anxiety attacks that make me sink even further down in depression, seeing as I haven't been with another female in so long, and rarely hang out with friends, kinda sucks trying to juggle owning my lawn care business, trying to talk to her, and trying to calm myself down because I'm everything it. I know I suck at explaining things like this, it's either type it and do not read it, or spend 4 hours retyping and making it perfect, in my eyes. If you have any questions or opinions, please reply, any help is greatly appreciated.
  21. Sorry posting this here too as feel this may be the better forum Hey all, I’m online as I have no where else to turn. I’ve pestered my family and friends and have gotten into such despair I’m not on anti depressants. I’m a 32 year old male, my ex gf ended our two year relationship at the end of August. We were in the process of buying our first house together ( clearly it fell through once we ended ) Since our breakup it’s been one of the most hardest parts of my life I’ve had to endure. I never want to lose her or things to end. Maybe I was blind/naive to signs things weren’t right for a while. She seemed to lose interest in hanging out with me as much, started to have issues with what I did or said. Since the breakup I’ve taken it hard. I didn’t go no contact and we continued to text and talk etc her family went against me and said I wasn’t good for her. She suffers from aniexty and it doesn’t help when all she has is negative things to say about me. During the last two months it’s been like a yo-yo. She would tell me to leave her alone. Then the next night message/email me saying she ‘missed me’ ‘loved me’ ‘wanted to fix things’ This has been happening since the break. She reaches out then when I suggest meeting her ‘aniexty’ gets the better of her and she ignores me. We have met in person a few times. Each time it’s been fine, no arguing etc and stupidly I slept with her. Big mistake I know. Anyhow come the other weekend she question me in person if I had been speaking or seeing anyone since our break up. I haven’t and told her so. Asked her the same and got told no. The next night a friend sent me screen shots of her being on bumble, loads of pics and clearly saying ‘looking to meet someone and see where it goes’ This was soul destroying for me. Everyone has been saying she’s been treating me like a door mat. Just stringing me along until she finds someone new. That I should of ignored her a very long time ago. I called her out on it, she said she’d hardly been on it and hadn’t met anyone. I was very upset and said some nasty things ‘like she’s a lying ’ Me being me and the soft piece of iam end up ringing her the next day etc and messaging. Surprise I get ignored. This kind of went on all week. She barely replied and only did with a few word messages. Last messages I got from her last Saturday she said ‘she wanted to fight for me but was terrified’ I have to say she has been worried things will go back to how they used to be. To sum it up beginning of the year we went throug a very stressful time with jobs etc, she was away almost alleeek evrryweek. I grew distant from her and she got very insecure. I stopped wanting to do stuff with her and hanging out. We had a breakup of around a month in May. I lost a family Member around this time and don’t know if I reached out to my ex as I had just lost someone close to me ? We got back together to try work things out but from day one she was distant, not the same. ( yes everyone else said why get a house but we thought we had sorted our problems out ) Anyhow fast forward to last weekend. After getting those messages. By this point I’ve been dragged through hell. I’ve been blocked on Facebook,WhatsApp for weeks now. So I emailed her a long email. Stating how I was being treated was vile. I hadn’t done anything wrong apart from wanting to fix our relationship. That I had reflected and realised things I did wrong. Though the way I was treated was out of order. I had poured my heart out to her on many occasions ( I never begged though or pleaded) Yes people will say why didn’t I walk away? When you have an ex you’re total Inlove with still message you and ring you since the break saying they love you etc no one would ignore it. Anyhow last Monday I was in a bad state. It’s taken it’s toll on my emotions. I lost my job a few weeks ago and for the first time ever I felt suicidal. Like I had no where else to turn. I contacted my doctor as I had never felt like this before. All I can describe is being in a black hole of despair and there being no ladder. Wanting all these feelings and thoughts to stop. I was put on antidepressants. Referred to a councillor. Anyhow I reached out when I was out my lowest on Monday to her. Got told we aren’t getting back together. To much has happened. She’s been fine/happy since our split. And that talking to me was getting her anxiety to come back up. Was told to leave her alone and she will speak to me later. This was Monday morning. Been in no contact since. I haven’t tried to reach out to her. I’m trying to fix my mind and my heart. It’s hard. If it was a simple breakup from day one I could of handled it. Being pulled and pushed for two months. Being ignored then messaged has just reached boiling point in my head. Picture being in limbo of limbo. Not knowing what to say or do. Every action has a negative reaction. Yes family and friends say it’s good to not talk to her. Get told it’s out of order how she’s treated me and it’s toxic. I know I’ve been treated badly. Whilst we were talking and trying to sort things out since the break up I’ve had the following, Booked a hotel for a night away and she bailed the last minute. Booked a week away together yet she cancelled on that too Told me leave her alone. I did and then reached out to me. I changed my phone number. Ended up getting loads of emails and I stupidly gave her my new number When I say she reached out to me I don’t mean one text. After being told to leave her alone the next night I’d have 17 texts, few missed calls and a couple of emails. I guess I’m on here for support? I know that sounds dumb. But I’m on day 5 of no contact. I’m struggling massively. Especially on weekends. It feels like it’s finally done and dusted with her. I know I have to accept it’s over but I’m not dealingselll with it. Whether it’s the constant pushing and pulling from her I don’t know. All the usual thoughts going through my head ‘Is she thinking of me’ ‘does she miss me’ though I know this situation is very different to others. I can tell myself she seemed undecided/confused for a long time. Having her family say we aren’t right together plays on her mind a lot. She holds everything against me and doesn’t she mature to take responbility. Now I know NC is a time for me to heal. I’m not doing it to play games. Course I’d love for her to turn up and tell me she loves me. But for so long ‘actions speak louder than words’ and all I’ve gotten from her is words. Does any one have any advice? Not on how to get her back. But what I can do. I’m trying to keep busy. The tablets basically make me have insomnia so I’m struggling to sleep. I keep playing all our happy memeories over and over. The NC is helping. Being out of work does not though I’ve been going for interviews etc. Started a gym class up, have yoga soon and also going to be doing some voluntary work. My self esteem is none existent. I have zero confidence. All because I’m told I’m missed and wanted. Then ignored. And I allowed this to happen....for months. I didn’t stop it as I just wanted to be with her. Sorry to go on. If anyone reAd this to the end I take my hat off to you. I sound like a crazy person that needs locking up :( I thought this would be the person I spend the rest of my life with. We were close to buying a house. Spoke about a family. Now this person has vanished and changed beyond all recognition. I feel lost that the person I love so much has turned her back on me :(
  22. So my SO and I are going through a rough patch atm and long story short, when we first started dating, everything was really intense, saw each other so much to the point i felt myself being so dependent on him with everything. If i went a day without talking to him id feel so lonely and it just wasn't healthy. & he started to feel a little trapped and he felt he was ignoring his friends and his hobbies for me to make me happy and i agree with him, i felt cos i depended on him so much, my whole life was revolved around him. (This is a fairly new relationship, 4 months) and we basically had a heart to heart to slow down on the relationship which i agree needed to be done. & to work on ourselves because he said he was getting a bad image of me being such a clingy gf and he doesnt particularly want someone that clingy. & I agree, its probs not particuarly a nice trait to be overly clingy so thats what we're doing atm. We're currently slowing down in our relationship and working on ourselves to come back better, its been about 3 weeks since this has happened. My worry atm is as soon as we had our heart to heart, he suddenly changed. He talks to me like a stranger and he said its cos he wants to work on himself more before going back into things? And he did admit he feels a little awkward after the chat we had. & that's fair enough but its been 3 weeks and I havent seen any changes whatsoever with our relationship. We still talk everyday but not as much as before. & He does message me first too and i sometimes message him first so thats been fairly balanced. I have voiced my worries to him last weekend and he said not to worry and that it just needs time before things can go back to normal. I just want some advice on the situation, I think part of me feels so insecure about this that its getting me stressed out. It's the way my SO is talking to me still, there is slight improvement , hes more chattier but its still not the same and im paranoid hes just not into me anymore or not interested in this relationship anymore, even tho he reassured me last week. I dont know if he's too scared to tell me the truth. Or perhaps I am being a typical girl by over thinking things. Perhaps I should take a step back and not message him as much so i can focus on finding myself again? Ive never been in this situation before so im just confused and lost.
  23. Ok so basically, my girlfriend was due to come down to mine next week, we live a little far apart so she has to book a train up. We basically discussed a date and she ended up saying she would come down a few days later than we thought because she checked and it was 'cheaper'. I thought it was a weird reason because I knew that the rail prices would be pretty much the same so I went on the site and it was actually cheaper to come up on the original date. So basically she lied about the reason she wants to come down later, and I don't get why? I'm not bothered about her coming down a bit later, that's perfectly cool, I just found it a bit weird that she'd feel the need to lie rather than just saying I fancy coming down a bit later. The truth is our relationship has been a bit strained of late (when I made the trip down to hers last she spent most of the time on her laptop/phone and was in a weird mood) so I guess its possible I'm just worrying about nothing. She just hasn't seemed very enthusiastic about coming up and has been colder than usual in some of the messages she's been sending me. Thoughts? I dunno if I'm just being stupid.
  24. As you all know what I'm going through, 2 weeks ago I broke up with my ex LDR partner because it was too toxic. However, I felt and was doing better when the "relationship" ended. I try to make myself better by writing on journals and go out with my friends. I finally realized I did the right decision. HOWEVER, just 4 days ago, my ex LDR partner suddenly DM me on instagram cause I was asking on my instagram story what song I can write about for my journal/diary. He told me "Hey! I suggest you do (insert song name) it's my favorite" and as someone who is moving on, I seen his message only and completely ignored it. Just yesterday, he messaged me again but this time this was much different. He said "I'm so excited! Celine Dion's concert tonight in the BEAUTIFUL (insert my city's name)" I was planning not to reply but suddenly, it made me think "Wait, did he not cancel his supposed flight here on August???" As much as I wanted to avoid replying to him, I wanted to know if he really did cancel his expensive flight or not. So I asked him "Excited on what?" His reply was "Excited to see Celine Dion's concert. It was amazing and beautiful. But it's late so I'm leaving (insert my city name) to Hong Kong" then I realized he was implying he was trying to say HE WAS HERE yesterday in my city knowing he's lives in Europe and I'm from Asia. I just laughed it off and ignored his messages, didn't reply to him anymore. Cause it sounded like he was either lying or desperate to get my attention. How on earth is he here in my city just 2 weeks after our break up? Even IF it's true he's here, why is he even saying all of this to me? As if I wanna meet him jeez. I don't even wanna see him. I do want to know though, was he telling the truth or was he lying? If so, why is he saying all of this to me? I do still have little feelings for him but not replying to his last messages made me realized I'm not gonna go back to him anymore. It was too toxic. I've been doing better ever since our relationship ended and my depression has been lifted since then. I do believe time really does heal.
  25. Just changed the usernames on my two main Instagram accounts. It is not possible to remove all trace of myself from the Internet, but I am cutting off the main avenues of contact. It makes me feel sick to the stomach. To cut ties is so strange. Nonetheless, I feel like it is the best thing to do, because it was a cyber relationship that was never going to get that much deeper. It did not give me what I need, but I knew from experience that talking about it was pointless. Like every other time I tried to work on the relationship, he would just ignore me. In the end, I didn't want to even give him the chance to brush me off. I just closed my website and put up a goodbye note instead. It reminds me a bit of how I felt tonight, when I didn't want him to see my photography or comments on Instagram. Now, the healing really begins. I know it is late, and so many of my girlfriends are single, but I am excited about the possibility of a future with someone real. Hell it hurts!!
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