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  1. My fiance and I have been together for 5 years. Although he is a loving, attentive and caring partner, he is also a bit controlling and had a few problems with my independence. In the last couple years our relationship was not going so great. But we still had many good moments that made everything worth it, and we were making efforts to adjust to each other’s needs, which was not so easy: I am the independent type, more career-oriented, while he is more romantic and focused on family and relationship. Also, he has bipolar disorder and refuses to treat it, letting it spill into our relationship in the form of anger and manipulative behavior. It has always been very confusing and hurtful and it got to a point that I didn’t know anymore if I wanted to spend my life with him, even though he was the most wonderful of men when he was in a “good day”. Also, I have always believed that I should be there for him no matter what and didn’t want him to see me as unsupportive or absent. I have a 12 year-old daughter that he used to treat as his. She was 7 when we met, and since then he decided to assume a paternal role (that i never asked for, by the way - her bio dad is not at all absent and I never was the lonely, overworked single mom figure; I am actually very resourceful and self-sufficient). In the beginning I thought his caring treatment of her was very sweet. But after a while we started arguing because he thought he had to have “rights” over her - to have a say in her hours, schoolwork, food choices, etc. To an extent that he started questioning even what his bio dad does for her, from medical opinions to Christmas presents. Whenever I disagreed with him, he played the outcast card - he said he didn’t feel wanted in my house or in my family dynamics. And that was not only in what concerned my kid, but in everything else. He never accepted the fact that I didn’t really need him to help care for my business or other things in my life - in his mind a relationship consists of two partners sharing all aspects of life and he used to get really resented when I didn’t want or need his inputs. He was always trying to push boundaries to get to a place where he could feel more in control. Thus, sometimes I would allow him to have his way so peace could be maintained and he wouldn’t feel “rejected”. My girl used to trust him entirely and we had a lot of fun together. Sometimes she would ask to share the bed with us, especially when she felt sick. Then one day, when she was 11, he started to bring her to our bed on the weekend mornings himself. That started bothering me and I would ask him to leave her alone in her own bedroom. But he wouldn’t listen. I got afraid to offend him and make him feel bad and “unwanted” - he was a good person, right? I thought, “well, he just wants to feel like we are a family”, and ended up allowing it a few times. Until the day my girl told me that he had touched her breasts while we were together in bed, and I was asleep. My world crumbled. I couldn’t believe I was living one of the worst mother’s nightmares. I confronted him. He said he was absolutely not aware of what had happened. We discussed the issue and, considering he had bipolar disorder, and that he had acted the same with me before (sexual touching while asleep), I suggested that he could have an underlying condition. It was hard to believe he was “that” type of guy. We talked, the three of us. He apologized, she took his apologies; life resumed. But she never treated him the same, getting very upset every time he came to spend the weekends with us. And honestly, I could never feel comfortable again when he was around. Then one day she told her school counselor. She was understandably not being able to get over the situation. And I got a call from Child Protection Services. A social worker visited my house, interviewed me, and talked to him on the phone. In the end the allegations of child neglect and abuse were deemed unfounded, but now I have to live with that stigma, and it is a very hard pill to swallow. I have been through so much to be with my child and raise her on my own, it was definitely unfair that allegations of neglect had fallen on me. With the quarantine, I had to suddenly stop seeing my fiance, and it was a wonderful opportunity to be on my own to evaluate our relationship, as well as heal my relationship with my daughter. The truth is that we are much better off without him in our lives. I felt responsible for what happened, for not being strong enough to go against his whims. I am facing a lot of guilt, thinking about what I could have done so she didn’t have to go through that, if I had been firmer and didn’t have the habit to ignore my discomforts so others could feel comfortable. But I also feel guilty for his feelings. He is miserable. He’s been writing to me and trying to get together, and rebuild our relationship. In our last chat I noticed that he is in a certain denial (or ignorance) of what it means for a woman, especially at my daughter’s age, to be inappropriately touched by a man. As much as I feel sorry for him, there’s no way I am going to put my child through having him involved with us again. Also, how to trust? How could I be sure that his behavior was triggered by a condition and not deliberate? I don’t know what kind of person I would be if I kept seeing the man that hurt my child. Unintentionally or not, the consequences of what he did are here and cannot be erased. He is expecting me to do something, and I know he is angry and feeling misunderstood. He probably thinks I don’t care. I feel really terrible for the whole situation and would appreciate any inputs.
  2. Things got bad due to cheating now im always up his butt calling his constantly and I’m always feel like im getting pushed to the side when it comes to his friends Basically we are a fun relationship he makes me smile etc but sometimes when i wanna talk to him (bc i cant see him often) he hangs up on me and i have to call him multiple times for him to answer then do it all over again. He doesn’t understand what I want despite me telling him multiple times “I dont want to be second to ur friends” and I say that bc he ignores me. And always cancels our plans due to work but see’s his friends after work. I really want this to get better but im so tired of having to call him so much and get ignored all the time
  3. I put a post about my ex and how I started NC. She contacted me that night asking if I was okay and we started to talk again, then she started to ignore me while being online.. so I blocked her again and then rang her the next day asking why she treats me so badly, she says she doesn't.. then said she will message me later, she did so and we had another conversation.. to where I tried ring her but she was on the phone for 2 hours at 12am.. She then rang my friend and told my friend to remember that I broke up with her, so my friend said you need to block her because she isn't strong enough so my ex replied I will speak to her tomorrow.. I recieved no message but I knew she wasn't very well, so I rang her asking if she is okay, she said she isn't well but will call me later.. I messaged her later on because I noticed she was online and asked if she needed anything, she blatantly ignored me so I got pissed off and blocked her again.. she messaged me on instagram and said that she isn't well but baring in mind her house mate sent me a snapchat of them drinking 🥺.. so I didnt reply at all, then today I noticed after 4 months of not posting a picture on Instagram, she posts a new picture.. this evening I went the shop and she saw me but completely blanked me.. so I messaged her tonight and said that I miss her and can she ring me, I tried to call her and she said, I'm at work I'll ring when I can.. I replied look, have I done something, she turned around and said she can't do the arguing anymore, so I said okay, I miss you as a friend and just tell me what you want me to do, whether you want to talk or not I'll respect your decision. I just can't for the life of me, understand why she hasn't blocked me but ignores me and only speaks to me now and then, I'm waiting on a reply and she's online now but hasn't seen my message.. my heart is breaking and I dont know what to do
  4. I hadn’t saw my boyfriend in 3 weeks, I had been suggesting things to do when we saw each other and he didn’t seem interested, I had a feeling he wasn’t missing me. I shared my feelings with him and he got real defensive, I told him no need to be defensive that we can have a mature conversation about it and how we are feeling. He took the huff and has given me the silent treatment for a week. I had ordered a gift for him online before this happened and it was delivered 2 days after this , he did not txt to say thanks. I txt him 2 days after that to see if he received it and was he actually being thick with me for sharing my feelings, he replied about the gift and ignored my other question. We have not spoke since. This is the second time this has happened after me expressing my feelings.
  5. So I met a girl online. same age as me 30 and nice girl. We met a few times and even i gave her ring in January and she accepted. Now problem starts afterwards as I asked if she would like to meet me on valentines day and she says she doesnt believe in valentines. ok , fast forward suddenly corona started and i was stuck in milan and she in the NL. from that time she has started ignoring me uptil the point i had to chase her and now she says she used to love someone from past and now that ex is back. How does this happen? Is it normal to go back to your ex when you are dating someone else and have accepted ring even
  6. How many times can you talk to someone about the same issues and be ignored? How long can you wait? I find myself alone during all of this going on in the world and I shouldn't be after being in a relationship for over 3 years. I just feel so alone in it all. Do I hang in through this or just let go? Thanks for reading.
  7. Me and my boyfriend started talking this time last year and we started talking and he made me wait a good six months until asking me out that whole time talking to loads of girls . And only figuring out he wanted to be with me after we stopped talking for a short period . We were together and the whole time I saw him doing small things like following loads of girls and liking old pictures but I tried to ignore it never thinking he’d do that to me.Then on New Year’s Day he went to this massive party proceeding to try to make a private story so he could document the night on Snapchat. He accidentally made a group chat and I could see everyone he was planning to add and one girl was a girl he previously talked to and I got angry and questioned him about it and he flipped it on me saying I was overthinking it . I did not talk To him that night he was out and he ignored me until I text him the next day where he proceeded to break up with me being extremely short no love . Then a few days later he texts me asking for me back but I’d a feeling he was in loyal at tha party and he told me he had kissed another girl (only after I asked did he admit this he would’ve never told me he even told me this ) . Some how I forgave him and tried to move on but I couldn’t let it go I started getting paranoid having dreams and checking his followers and what he was liking . And We fought and broke up two times since the Cheating incident always ending up on us back together . Recently I started noticing him following loads of pretty girls from my area and I brought it up trying to tell him it was irritating me and making me insecure he then got mad and broke up with me again saying he can’t keep going back and forth with me . He was short breaking up with me like always and I know he’s going to ask for me back and I don’t know what to do ? Am I the problem? Am I being too paranoid? Or is he just not understanding how insecure he’s made me .
  8. I don't know if my ex is playing games or not. We have been talking on and off for a while and at first she was very cold towards me but as things progressed I managed to get her more warm towards me, being jokey and having a bit of a laugh. Previous to this I had asked her to meet for coffee and although I didn't get a no I didn't get a yes either and after asking again two weeks later I promptly got ignored which has happened before where she will talk then all of a sudden disappear. When she does this I make no attempts to contact her again. She will still however post happily al over social media, so she is blatantly ignoring me. More recently she's been asking questions of me, saying that she's pleased that my job is going well(I got a promotion) and seemed interested to talk. She then once again completely disappears. She ignored me for FIVE days then all of a sudden popped up again answering to my previous conversation and even starting a new one. I replied to her after a few hours and she hasn't replied since, that was six days ago now. I really don't understand why she is doing this. Why start a new conversation if you're going to ignore me? Inbetween this she has added new guys etc and posted happily again all over social media. So she is (I think quite rudely) blatantly ignoring me again. I'm beginning to think she might be playing games? It really hurts when she does this, but I can't bring myself to block her, it's my only means of communication and I still want her back. I'm keeping quiet in my social media and doing my best to enjoy my holidays. Can anyone give any advice? Am I over reacting by thinking it's rude?
  9. Broke up with my first boyfriend years ago, it affected me a lot because he has a "type" and I can't help but compare myself to the new women he may be dating. We remained friends (no longer) for a while and I recall this conversation that I go over and over in my head; Him: She never texts me but I'm just trying to respect her space Me: She must be damn hot or something for you to still try and work things out despite her ignoring you for weeks like that Him: She IS hot...... I am definitely still in love with him and these thought I'm afraid are becoming crippling to my self esteem. Should I try and make arrangements to speak to a conselor about this? Has Anyone else experienced this?
  10. Hello everyone. I'm new here and it's my first time ever i do something like this to go out and search for advice about a problem i have in my relationship, i really never ever ask anyone for advice about my relationship so it's my first time and i'm so desperate i just don't know what to do anymore and i think i've tried everything and yet i'm so lost right now that i'm questioning myself.. So let me explain. I'm in a long distance relationship with my girl now more than 4 years. We live 1600km from each other and to make it short it's safe to say it was really difficult and still is, we've had sooo much problems with my parents and almost whole family and even between us. She doesn't trust me like at all but for that i'm the one to blame i'm responsible for that so it's my fault but the thing right now is this: We started dating in 2015 and in order for me to go see her as much as i can i found a job (in a market) where i was able to go see her once a month for like 3 4 or even 5 days, i've had this agreement with my boss but i hate i hate that job so much like i'm becoming crazy because of it but i'm doing it now for 4 years just so we could see eachother but the thing is my girlfriend wants me to completely ignore other girls especially the ones from my job. She's oke for me to respond to clients and stuff who comes at the store but she does not want me to have any but like ANY contact with female collegues no private talk and no work talk so when some female collegue comes to me to ask any question as stupid as that question may be for example "some client want this or that do you know where it is?" She doesn't want me to respond it's been like this for a while and i tried to respect that but it just seems impossible now don't think she's crazh or anything like that as i'm the only one here to know why she wants that but the thing is she wants me to do that and i do not feel capable of doing this it's like so hard how do you do what do you do when a female collegue comes to you and ask you such question how do you ignore and like just turn your head away or walk away AT YOUR JOB ? I'm not even allowed to move my head in order to respond yes or no without making any nois like TOTAL ignoring but i wish i could do this but i can't and now i'm left wondering should i be capable of doing this for my girlfriend when she asks for it am i crazy to feel like it's impossible to do that or am i wrong i really don't know anymore i really need advice and please ignore the reasons why she ask for such a thing i really never cheated or really never gave anything that i may be like intrested in some girl i really don't give a f... about all of those females collegues and she knows that but when she asks for such a thing should i be able to do that i mean is it like she says 'it's just ignoring when they come to you you like just leave that's it" ? Or is it normal that i can't do it because they didn't do anything wrong to me or her so whenever they come ans ask or say somethkng i feel so much under pressue and i'm like panicking note please we broke up some time ago because i lied i said that i did not answered to them then i said the truth that i did but only by knocking my head as a yes and no so i asked for a new chance and said i'm sure i can do it (to completelly ignore them) and she is like ready to give it to me but only under that condition that i ignore them ALL COMPLETELY so please help me out am i crazy to think this is impossible to do or should i be able to do that like could you guys do it ?
  11. Hi, I'm Male, sixteen and I recently had a bad fallout with a friend. For this story to make any sense I have to start from the very beginning. So I'm an only child and I live quite far away from anybody my age. I went to primary school and I was often semi-excluded because I didn't know anybody and I was smarter than everyone there. I kind of grew up to be narcissistic and competitive. For my first year of secondary school this continued although then I met this guy who I'll call X. For the first time I felt like somebody cared for me and I truly felt like over the next two years I grew a different personality. And i dont mean that my old personality developed but that a new one was actually created and that two people were living inside me. I cared about this person more than anything else in the world and I would have rather died than let them down. They were always there for me and I tried to be there for them as well . Then earlier this year around 3 months ago I had a dream where I was sleeping with X and it was amazing. I was really confused about this because I had always been straight and had never had such thoughts before. I also didn't want to develop a crush on my bff in case it would jeopardise everything I had become over the last 3 years. I tried to convince myself that a) I was simply mistaking sexual love for the strong friendship love I actually felt for him and b) I told myself he must be straight and came up with tons of reasons why he had to be. Then one day in town he asked me did I prefer the top or bottom half of a girl. I thought this was a strange question so just said " I dont know . You?" He then waited for a while before saying " I like penis" then he started laughing and said " way to make it awkward. It was a really weird conversation and thought that he must be joking so soon enough I forgot about it. Then the next week I was in town with him again with a few other friends and i started asking some general questions on sexuality such as whether there were more than 3 sexualities ( cause I thought I might be bicurious or something.) And then I said something about X pretending to be someone he is not. I said this because around me he made all these sex "jokes" but he didn't around other people. After that he stopped talking to me. I asked him why but he kept ignoring me. Eventually he told me that he had confined in me about being gay and that I had treated it as a joke. I tried to tell him that I hadn't known and I though my it was a joke but I dont think he believed me. He's been ignoring me for 2 months now and our mutual friends have all sided with him too. I really don't know what to do cause I dont want to live without him and have started to get really suicidal. I can't help but look depressed in school and I think that he thinks I'm just putting it on. I dont want to put him under pressure but I can't handle this any longer and he won't talk to me and will probably tell me to piss off if I try to talk to him. What should I do?
  12. Gonna try to keep this as short but detailed as possible. I dated this guy last year for 3-4 months & things were GREAT... until they weren't. Towards the end he started getting distant &inconsistent. He would ignore me, but post pics of him out & about. I asked him what was going on & he stated he had no time for anything other than work & that I was on the back burner. I felt horrible so I blocked him, erased his number &did my best to move on. NOW: I felt ready & tried to get back out there again so I downloaded tinder. & who do I see on there? Yup, him. Curiosity got the best of me so I swiped & we matched. It was followed by just basic chitchat & basically saying he regrets how things ended, that he's thought about me a lot & that he wants to SHOW me the kind of man he can be & that he would like to talk things out in person. I tell him I can't do the inconsistent thing this time, but agree to talk to him. The first couple days, it was nice to catch up. I asked to meet up on Sunday, but the day comes & he texts me to say he won't be able to make it. I was disappointed, but figured he would try to reschedule? The rest of Sunday and Monday he keeps texting me as if everything was ok, with no mentions of our much needed talk. Tuesday I let him know I couldnt keep acting like things were ok. I let him know how much it hurt me what he did last year & that I really needed to get things off my chest before we could move forward, but it didn't seem like this talk was a priority. He said he understood & he did apologize & say he was bummed he wouldn't get to take me to dinner. I told him I didn't mean that I didn't want to continue, but rather I just really needed this talk to happen. But its Sunday now, no texts, no calls from him. A year ago I was feeling crummy & I'm feeling the same way now. I dont get why he would even message me. we are back to the inconsistency, back to the no communication. I really cared about him and still do, but I'm just so confused.
  13. I am a fifty-year-old man. Al my ex-partners are very nice people and very beautiful. I consider my self lucky to be with them. I had many long term relationships but, now I know, I was never in love. I was with them because they wanted to be in relationship with me and I couldn't fault them. Two months ago I meet someone new. She is a friend of my friend and she lives in the US. All our communication were on Viber. I got photos from her and, to me, she was the most beautiful women I thought I had. She wasn't young, 45 yo, but I could not find any downsides which I would consider important to me. In fact, I never wanted someone too young. To me, she was perfect: intelligent, caring, funny with the most beautiful smile. We got along straight away and exchanged lots of romantic and humorous messages. It was weird how everything fit together. At one point I wrote to her how I feel but in order to continue, we had to see each other, at least on a video call to talk. I am currently having an extremely difficult time personally and I had developed anxiety. I wanted to tell her about my problems and to see how she would perceive it. It was very important to me that she knows all about me. We felt so much in love. She said she never felt so happy. I said I could not function. I guess it was more me than her but she conceded to me a few times that she never felt so strongly about anyone. I kept trying to talk to her but, even after we would agree to talk, she would just ignore it. She said that she had trust issues and she is trying to take baby steps in order to not get hurt. To me it was the opposite way: if we continue like we were, we would hurt each other even more. I felt almost disillusioned how much I was in love with her. It was scary. So I sent her my video message. She said she couldn't stop watching the video. She loved my voice, my look..but ignored my message again... We agreed to meet in Europe in a few months time. I was getting very nervous because I was not ready due to my temporary problems. She had two daughters and I had one. She could not see herself living far away from her children although she always dreamt to go back and live in the Mediterranean. On the other side, my daughter would not accept that I could go away. I couldn't leave her. In my head, it was impossible to solve the problem. At last, I managed to see her. It was morning in the US and she just got up. I insisted to talk to her. I said jockingly if we don't talk I would go on strike. She called me and I saw her for the first time. I felt even more in love. I was speechless. It was surreal. I was looking at her and she was staring at me. We were so much in love. After a few minutes, the line got cut of. As I was using pay as you go mobile package, I went outside to get some MB. I tried to call her back but she didn't reply. I was waiting 24 hours for a reply. I wrote to her that I had to tell her something. She joked that I am giving up the strike. I wrote that I no longer wish to continue with her. I wished her all the best. She only replied in a few words why she didn't respond. She blocked me and I had no chance to respond to say that I am sorry. I desperately tried to find her email on the net. After two days I found her on WhatsApp. I asked her to forgive me for what I did, I felt like an idiot and I was ashamed what I did to her, but I respect her decision not to communicate and not to come back to me. It was clear to me that she did not want to continue so I did not insist. I explained that I had a truly life-changing problem to solve in my life, and for the moment I lost it, due to my anxiety. I couldn't think clearly. Many hours later she replied that she was very hurt but due to her trust issues she developed with her ex she is not willing to risk it again. She blocked me. I am not sure how all this happened but I never felt so much in love. I know, it's odd because we met on Viber. That is very strange but it did happened. I am so in love and knowing that she is suffering makes me very sad...I am not a desperate man. I had many relationships in the past and I have confidence in myself. I can't get her out of my head. I am not a person to beg but knowing that she loves me and due to the trust issues she can't come back to me, makes me confused. I am very committed, honest person and I never cheated in my previous relationships. I made myself irresistible to her, I know how to do that. I don't feel guilty about that. I was honest. One silly mistake does not make me a horrible person. I didn't cheat her, I didn't kill anyone. I had a moment in my life and I admitted my mistake straight away. But she is gone. I feel we both lost something big. I don't know whether to forget her or try another way to approach her. Perhaps I should give some time to both of us. I would like to ask, especially ladies with trust issues, what you think I should do. How would you react if I got in touch?
  14. I was seeing my girlfriend for six months, and at the weekend she disappeared suddenly with no contact or reason given. I've been trying to get in touch with her but she is ignoring my messages and not answering my calls. The relationship became intense very quickly, and she told me that she loved me and had not fallen for somebody as fast as she did for me. I felt the same. Over the last couple of weeks she was distant with me and didn't want to see me as much as she usually did. I asked what was going on and all she said was she was feeling low and needed some space. On Friday I messaged her asking if everything was ok between us, she replied and said it was but maybe we should break up because she felt her being distant was unfair on me. I said I wanted to meet up to talk about it, and didn't want it to end especially not by a message. She agreed and said we would meet but that was the last I've heard from her. She's active online and is posting on social media so I know she is ok, and she is purposefully ignoring me. I love her and don't want to lose her, but I would at least accept it's over if we had a chance to talk and to say goodbye. It's killing me that I might not get closure or a goodbye or know what is going on with her and I can't concentrate on anything else. Any advice on how to get through this would be appreciated. Thanks.
  15. For a quick reference, here is my original post: link removed She called last night and it was definitely a friendly and decent call. She told me about all of the work she is doing and she is truly busy. Her father comes in next weekend, and she has all of next week off. At one point, I finally decided to ask her straight up, "are you still interested in me?" And without hesitation, she responded, "yes". She said if the roles were reversed it would have driven her crazy all week and she would have asked sooner. She did say that while she is interested in me, its not where her focus is right now. I respect that and told her. She really appreciated that. But one thing is that she did admit that she is still talking to another guy and has met him once. I didn't react, as we have been over this before and told her well given the uncertainty of my position, I am also keeping my options open. She said she understood. She told me that it was the same situation with him, not being able to keep in contact as much because of being busy. We are supposed to get together next week. It still bugs me though. She says she is looking for a committed relationship, says she likes me a lot and enjoys spending time with me, but wants to keep things open. I know its been only a month and she probably isn't sure about me yet, but for me, you meet someone, you like them, you give them a chance. You don't play the field. My plan? Continue to keep my options open, despite the fact that I really do like her. Don't put too much energy into this until she is able to reciprocate fully. And I won't sleep with her again unless we become exclusive. I also will see how I am feeling about things next week. If it is still a problem with me, I'll tell her. She could lose out big time. Because I am the real deal!
  16. It's hard for me to trust my boyfriend of one year. I don't know if any of you have had this problem, but the main reason (among other mundane issues) for my desire to break way from him is due to the way his family treats me. Brief Intro: He has a four year old son and we are in our early twenties. I go beyond the call of duty for his child. I am playful, sincere, and understanding to my boyfriend and his child. I guess it wouldn't be such a tremendous problem that his mother vividly dislikes me, except that his reaction to her actions are that of a child. His mother is rude to me, for no particular reason, and my boyfriend fails to stick up for me. For example, one time I was in the pool with his child for over an hour and my boyfriend was hanging around outside the pool; this is at his house. His mother slips into the pool and directs the child as follows, "Child Name, why don't you stop playing with Hannah (me) and spend some quality time with your Father (my boyfriend)." I was bewildered that she could be so unappreciative and rude to my face all at once. I waited for several to see if my boyfriend would stick up for me. He failed to, instead he mumbled something I could barely make out. So I took the courtesy to stand up for myself. I guess instead, I wished he had stood up from where he was sitting back, and demanded his mother to apologize to me. Or acknowledge that her comment was unnecessary and rude. That is only one example of the mom-and boyfriend dual I often deal with. I am a student, I study hard, and I am fair. In these situations I feel like my boyfriend is disrespecting me more than his rudely mannered mother, simply because he fails to demand respect for from others. When I approach my boyfriend and confront him with how I feel and that I wish to end our relationship, he says I should ignore his mother the way he does. Is he actually right!? That's certainly not the way I was raised... Any insight on this would be really appreciated. I'm really feeling lost and worthless. Thank You.
  17. Here where I work the guys normally only use the office space area, one of the two girls [both hot] who works there decides that she wanted to work with the guys today doing the same things that they do there. She has been showing me some signs of interest on her part, going out of her way to talk to me, looking me in the eyes, and generally not acting *****y with me like she does the other guys. It happens I leave some of the material from this dating website lying around work for my other co-workers to read, and since most of us are male I felt safe just to leave it in the office area for whoever wants to read it, since there are only two girls that work a ways off and hardly come to the office. It was about 1pm and we were sitting around in the office area talking. Girl comes and picks up a phone that was sitting next to me and brushes her hand acrost my leg and goes, "whoops! Didn't mean to touch you." Then sits down next to me. This sort of made me wonder what her intent for working with the guys was today. Later at break I caught her reading a printout of the "Not dating right now" tip from the main part of the website. I know it's BAD BAD BAD to leave these sort of tips where girls can read them and figure out that someone is bringing it there, so I had to make a little compromise and turn it into an opportunity to tease her. She was away when I saw that she had place the article down and when she came back I decided to have a little fun with her. *Guy sitting next to where she was when she was away* Me: Hey, who left this here? Guy: She was reading that Me: Good, I think I'll read it. *Girl comes prancing back from the office* Her: Hey, I was reading that! Me: Calm down! Are you trying to pick up other girls or something? Her: No, I like to read this material just like all other literature. Her: Besides, I don't agree with that article, I think it's way off base. Me: Is that a fact? Well, I havn't read it yet so I don't know if I agree with you or not.. Her: Give it back, I wasn't through! *grabs for it* Me: Uhh uh, I'm having a look at it to see if I agree with it. *She makes several more "give it back" commands and tries to grab paper away but couldn't, then submits.* Her: Ok, please give it back when you are done. Me: I don't see anything wrong with this so far. Her: Can I show you something in there? Me: Tell me what page Her: I'll point to it with my pinky *She shows the part that says playboy and cosmopolitan* Her: This is associated with playboy and a bunch of other magazines and must be bad. Her: Plus, I have a boyfriend. Her: It's not biblical to have a relationship unless you wanted to marry someone. Me: *ignoring what she just said* Well, you can disagree and I can agree, we have that right Me: Now, I'm trying to read this quickly before break end, then I'll give it back to you. Me: Just read through it, I think it's great *walks towards car and puts article in back seat, girl comes and gets it while getting in.* Her: Thanks Her: Ohh, look what it says ion the front page "when a girl says she is not dating right now and what you can do about it." I don't think every man should be out dating" *two other guys that were listening to this actually say yes and agree to this, bunch of chumps* Me: Actually, girls only say that to guys they don't like. I seriously doubt she would say that to the guy she likes down the street. Her: Whatever. *She then changes the pace of the conversation a little bit with the 2 other guys including me* Her: So, do you have a girlfriend george? George: No Her: Do you Mike? Mike: nope Her: do you, Hero_99? Me: *sarcastic* Actually several, got a calculator? It's a rather large number *everyone starts chuckling a little* Her: W ell, are you dating anyone? Me: Why are you asking? *Girl then goes on a rant about how she has stayed with her boyfriend for 3 ½ years and believes in a solid faithful relationship with someone she intends to marry, blah blah blah. And that she doesn't like players. George and Mike and another guy that comes in keep nodding to every thing that she says. I just start to ignore her at this point.* We go outside and work for about an hour until we have to go back. We met up together back at the truck which has both a front and back-seat. The other guys get in and she stands there and is holding the door and says, Her your pick! *while holding the car door* Me: Ohh, I see how you are.. Trying to give me the impedence… So, I get in the front, then the back, and sit just so she couldn't close the door and when she sat down in the front I jumped into the front seat… Her: Why were you sitting on top of me? Me: Because you were sitting under me! *toothy grin* Her: Uhhh, no, hmmmm *gets a smile on her face! So we are driving back to the office, and she does a common test with the radio. Her: I don't like this radio station *starts flipping channels* *I didn't say anything to this, but she turns it to another channel and says: Her: This is better *I change the channel back to the same station she says she hated* Her: Ohh, I like this channel too.. What a nut… Well, before we got out she scooted closer in next to me and was almost touching me with her face while looking at me in the mirror. This is the same Mexican chick I dated before that was so nervous around me that I could hardly understand her. The other guys can't stand her *****ing, but I can understand why, since they seem to be frustrated chumps who don't realize she is testing to see if there are any guys of value she could be interested in. Hope they learned something from today as well as I have.
  18. well the whole ex topic again.I can understand the whole issue. with me growing up I always had crappy luck with the girls,so i've never been in that major relationship yet. OK say some of you still think about your ex,if it's an ex from months ago or years even and say someone new comes into your life and you like that person alot. with thinking about your ex does that make you ignore feelings for a current person or do any of you actually think about your ex and current liking at the same time?
  19. So out of no where, my ex stopped talking to me. He will walk into the bar and say hello to everyone BUT me, say goodbye to everyone BUT me. We broke up two years ago. I don't like his girlfriend, she doesn't like me. I buried the hatchet with her in July. My ex has been acting uncomfortable around me since immediately before I buried the hatchet with his girlfriend. Over the past 6-7 months things have gotten more and more strained when I see them out. My ex and my boyfriend are in a band together. They are good buddy friends. We're all at the bar Friday night for a friends birthday and I was standing between two of our friends. He shook the on on my left's hand, the one on my right's hand, and then left. No goodbye to me, no nothing. I have done NOTHING to deserve being treated like I don't exist. I thought we were friends and everthing was fine. In November I got an email saying congrats on the play, wish I hadn't missed it, have a good thanksgiving. And now I don't exist? The hell? This is bull-caca. His girlfriend is very insecure and I have come to the conclusion, as have our friends, that she has told him he can't talk to me anymore. She is very controlling of him in many ways...where he can go, who he can see, how much he can drink, what he can do. Our friends don't like her, his friends don't like her. I have decided to walk up to him, hopefully in front of her and our friends and say, "Oh is it ok if I say hi to you? You won't get in trouble for talking to me will you?" Make light of it and, in doing so, point out she's being controlling. Then ask him what the deal is and if he's forbidden to speak to me anymore because I thought we were all past that now and friends. I feel like driving over to his house and confronting him but I don't want him to know that it bothers me that much. If it were any of my other friends who were treating me this way I want to know why. The fact that he's my ex makes it more complicated. I don't want to come accross looking like the bitter ex girlfriend. I just want to know what happened to my friend. Is it futile? Is there any thing else I can do besides blurt out, at the end of a night of being ignored, "Oh hey it was GREAT talking to you!" and hug him goodbye? It's driving me crazy. Advice?
  20. This has been an interesting week-end to say the least..... I recently posted my story in the "Ex Girlfriend/Boyfriend Forum". link removed "Ex cheated on and left me for out her league friend". I hope I acted in the right way. I went to meet my friends at the Pub/Nightclub on Friday night that we usually attend. Upon pulling in the parking lot, I noticed a Man and Woman about to cross in front of me so I waited to let them. Well they slowly did. Low and Behold it was my Ex and the guy she cheated on and left me for. They took about 15+ seconds to cross in front. While crossing she looked at me then looked at him and laughed. So I blew the horn...Pissed her off (figured I'd get my laugh). They left and so I went inside and met my friends. Well 20 minutes later, Her, her boyfriend and all their Friends from work walked in. They walked past my friends and I with their noses in the air and stood about 10 feet away and stared at me and were talking laughing. My Ex and her new man came and went 3 more times in 2 hours and every time, they pretty much brushed me when they walked by yet looked away, her not once saying "Hi". I was mad at first but decided I was there for a good time. The last time they left, I said to my friends while laughing "Thank You Lord". Her friends stayed and never got more then 10-15 feet from My friends and I. As the night went on, I started talking to a nice, pretty girl and was getting to know her. About 30 minutes in- my Ex's girlfriends started asking if I had a couple cigarettes and a lighter. Being nice I gave them and they walked away. About an hour into the conversation with my new prospective girl, one of my ex's friends approached me again, and started "interigating me". She asked if I knew who she was. I acted like I never saw her before. She told me who she was and asked how I was doing (Guess I was supposed to be depressed/mad-I dunno). I told her this is the best I've felt in 4 years. That there are a lot of nice girls out tonight. She went on talking about how my Ex never meant to hurt me and still thinks the world of me, yet she is extremely happy with her new man. I told her great, better him that has to deal with her then me. She asked a thousand questions from If and who I was dating, If I liked the girl, to how long I've been attending this bar to what I thought of my ex…I was determined to stay in a very good mood and basically told her that I tried to be my Ex's friend but my ex never did her part. I told her I was disappointed how the ex cheated on and left me and waited till X-MAS to tell the truth. I told her I heard my ex ran her mouth about me and that all I now want is my stuff back. I told her I was dating a nice girl off and on and that I love how my life is going. Told her I was going after my dreams. She kept repeating "your ex still thinks the world of you and never said a bad thing about you, she hasn't talked to you because she is trying to move on-she's extremely happy". I told her that was funny she only talks nice of me, because the last time I saw her family, they snubbed me like I was garbage. She didn't say much to that and went back to her group. I had a good time regrouping with my prospective girl and ignored them the rest of the night, yet I could feel their beady eyes burning a hole though my back. Nothing happened with the prospective girl, I simply enjoyed talking to her and I expressed how I hoped to see her next weekend. I left at closing time. So, I went to the same bar again (my hang out) last night and met my friend. We were there for about 20 minutes when my Ex's new B/F and about 6 of his friends walked in. It has been 3 months since I have seen my Ex and the 2nd time in my life to see him so that is either ironic or planned. They looked at me and sat about 15 feet away and kept looking my way. I decided to ignore them and continued talking and laughing to the cute little girl sitting next to me. The night went on and my friend eventually left. Showing I wasn't scared or bothered with them, I stayed about 30 minutes longer and walked out. When I got in my truck, they just "happened" to walk out of the bar and were parked 3 spaces from me. They were looking at me and laughing. Being the better person, I left and unintentionally spun snow their way. The thing is that my ex knows that I am strong and quick. She has witnessed me break many a bar fight up. She knows that I will not fight unless it is in defense of someone (woman mostly) needing help. Her new man is a feminine man to put it "nice". I think he knew I was going to be there and brought his back up and was going to try something last night. To be honest my Ex is not worth either my time or energy after dealing with 3 months of lies. I waited for her friendship and have moved on and now she all of a sudden pops back in. After seeing what she cheated on and left me for, I now laugh. Good Riddence. So what do you think of my Ex's friends questioning me and staring at me. What do you think about her new B/F showing up at the bar the next night? Did I tell her friend the right things?
  21. can you not see that i am in pain? are my screams to you all in vein? do you not see what i do or notice the harm? must i break down and cry, or wear it on my arm? is it beyond what words can explain? is it more that you want to hear? are you going to let me fall? do you ignore this out of fear? scattered stained razorblades lay on my bed and yet you say nothing you watched me as i bled ive even told you in spoken word the part about suicide and self harm must have gone unheard should i quit and say goodbye? or keep trying?i will carry on my own i will fight this i will break the habit and kill the pain all alone. oppinions?very very emotional when i wrote this. any feedback welcome -sTiTcHeS
  22. Alright, I should explain this as thoroughly as possible. What I want is all different sorts of advice on the subject as well. This is a little deep, so only respond if you can pay attention. There was this girl I worked with, who was a social leper. Always angry, pissy responses, typical immaturity. Typical teenage angst. Angst because she couldn't socialize very well, Im thinking? But I had music interests in common with her. She had a stuttering problem, so as usual with everyone, I was friendly. I wasn't interested in this girl except as to wanting to be a friend, there was no attraction. Well I was nice to this girl until she decided to leave somewhere, military. Bootcamp. I asked her recruiter if I could write her a letter, my intent was to ask about bootcamp experience. She knew I was going to the same place. I have since told the military to go to hell & filed my DEP seperation form. Now Im in college. Anyway.. Well after I told them that, she came back in her 5th week (there are 8 weeks), dropping out or was kicked out, of bootcamp. When she came back, she told everyone at work that I am STALKING her. This social leper seems to be very serious? I had really thought I wasn't on this girl's nerves; I was always friendly, and everyone at work (I've settled the matter) knows I have a girlfriend. I don't mean to be arrogant, but Im on a higher level than that. Everyone now knows I only wanted to ask about bootcamp experience too. As usual, nobody at work likes the girl because of her attitude. But this nutty girl still doesn't know, Im thinking word will get to her? But what Im asking is: Should I settle the matter with this closed person myself, and if so, how exactly should I word it? How can I settle this matter to a person who tends to ignore everything I say & immaturely hides behind things & knocks things over almost LEAPING out of the way when Im walking by as if I had a disease. LoL. I don't mean to have the girl act so scared either. I didn't think she was retarded, only had the stuttering problem, but? hmm Aye, people can be nuts.. Advice anyone? I need ADVICE.
  23. Hey all, Well as some of you know, I have been having quite a lot of problems with my boyfriend of two years recently. He is in a very stressful job, where he is going through hell at the moment and has a tendency to take it out on me when he phones, if he phones. We have been going a lot recently. As you know, he felt like I was always annoyed with him for never calling or being there, when he just didn`t have the time. Well, a few nights ago I was out with my friends and ended up getting very very drunk. I`m not proud of it, but let`s just say the paramedics got involved. I can honestly say that I rarely get drunk and that was a one-off and will not happen again. In the end I didn`t have to go to hospital or anything but my boyfriend was called and he came to take me back to his flat to sleep it off. The next day he was very very angry with me. I apologised etc but he still seemed very cold and unaffectionate. That night I spoke to him on the phone. He was behavng strangely. He says that he feels he isn`t making progress anywhere in his life just now, but wouldn`t clarify what exactly he meant. He said he wasn`t angry about the drinking, but that he still feels that I am always angry with him just now. I told him that I wasn`t angry. He said I haven`t done anything to make him feel like that, it is just a tone he always senses. Well, and we haven`t spoken since. It is Valentine` Day, and I haven`t heard anything from him. It is now seven o clock so I can`t see us doing anything tonight. I really feel that this is the end of the road. I want this to end but I love him .I really need to know I`m doing the right thing. Or do I just give him more time? I know he is so stressed still..
  24. I just thought I'd let everyone know what happened. Well, this girl at work, S, came to my house after work one night (we work 2nd shift, 3pm-12am), and used my computer because she needed to do something online for school and didn't have a computer. So we did that and we just talked until like 2am. I really like this girl so i wanted to take it slow, maybe a mistake? Anyway, when she went to leave I let her follow me to the gas station and then to where she would know where she was at. When we were at the gas station, I asked her out for yesterday evening. I didn't mention a time or where we would eat or anything like that. so, yesterday at around 1:30/2:00 pm she called saying that her sister called her and asked if she wanted to go with her on a gambling boat. And that she never gets to see her sister so she decided to go with her instead. And she said that she felt bad for cancelling on the first time. I dont know her that well, so i can't judge her on this aspect. But i'm always skeptical from the start, but i never just not believe someone until they lie to me. But from what i've told you, does she sound sincere? Also, how soon should I call her for another date? I WILL probably see her monday at work and possibly tuesday at school and work. -----------------------------------------------------------------------More Background Information--------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The first time I ever really talked to her was at school. I saw her, said "hi" and we talked for a few minutes. I walked her to her car and she gave me a ride back. Her car was a mess lol...and she said "the next time you get in my car, i promise it'll be clean" lol Everytime I see her and we're talking now, she's always smiling and really open about stuff. ....I just need to know how long I should wait to ask her out again. I don't want to seem desperate, because i'm not. And I don't want her thinking i'm mad or want to ignore her or anything because she cancelled on me, because I'm not mad and I don't want to ignore her.
  25. Okay...to me this sounds dumb and mean but apparently it seems to work....There is this girl i really like...i have liked her from the beginning of the year...i finally gut up the nerve to ask her out. we had a pretty good time if i do say so myself....then a couple of days later she asked me over to her house to watch a scary movie....it went pretty well considering her parents where in the next room and liked "checking" in. then yet again a couple of days later she came over to my place to watch a movie. i know this sounds all well and good but =S i have no idea how to read her....like i touch her like brush up against her or put my arm around her and i get.....nothing.....she does not tense up or pull away or anything but she does not get closer she is just "normal"......then this last week i have been getting mixed signals like one min she seems to want to be together then others its like she could car less about me......so in the last couple of days i have started to be more distant...like talking to her less...or not sitting beside her or going on msn and not saying hi and waiting for her to say it.....and to my surprise she seems to be getting closer while i am getting farther away....soooo my question is should i keep on doing this and if yes for how long and how far should i take it....and WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?
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