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About Me

  1. If you were a dumpee, did you ever get closure? If so, when? Did you actually get to sit down with your ex and talk it out? I'm 21 and my ex is 24. He dumped me back in October after I (yes, I was an idiot) called him up and got into a heated argument on the phone and then all we had was a 30min phone conversation the next week. I haven't seen him in person since October 18. He said that with his last girlfriends he never gave them an explanation but said that I deserved one. I told him I wouldn't feel closure unless I saw him in person and talked it out. He told me that he didn't know when
  2. So for most of my life I’ve been truly afraid to be alone. I’ve gone from relationship to talking on dating sites to another relationship. I never digested or came to the true grit of self reflection. I never metaphorically got to be the caterpillar in the cocoon waiting for it’s beautiful wings. As for the ending of my last relationship, I realized holding onto unnecessary anger doesn’t help. It adds fuel to the flame of toxicity. What’s the point of sitting there bitter and resentful? It’s best to have acceptance and full awareness. That yeah things aren’t so black and white as they firs
  3. I have been devastated for a month plus now. the girl I have known since 2009 broke up with me May 2020 for the 3rd time and same pattern. All she kept saying is religion differences and we have been together all this while. Now she came up with it again and within 2 or 3 weeks she is getting into something else. Before the whole thing. I suspect her and always talked and talked about it but she let me worry about it ..now she broke up and detach her self from me, does not contact me does nothing. I tried seeking closure from her yesterday night but I was so destroyed. She doesn't have any h
  4. I posted the other day at probably the lowest point for me since the very abrupt end of my relationship with my fiancé. He has ghosted me since the split which was driving me insane as all I wanted was some answers. Well today I got what I wanted but not in the way of hoped. He still had no answers but did not struggle to attempt to make me feel bad for him. It was all about him. How he feels (without even telling me how he feels), how I'm being unreasonable when expressing my sadness over the situation and how I have no understanding of who he is as a result. He was simultaneously trying to
  5. Shattered in to pieces. That is what my heart probably looks like right now. I didn't see the break up coming, and it's even harder to heal because I didn't get any closure. I don't think that 'last text' counts. You don't end an almost three year relationship with a text. Some people are just really heartless like that, eh? Been crying for almost every night this February. It still hurts like hell as I am typing this, but I guess I'd just have to endure this and allow time to heal me. But it's easier said than done. Also trying my best not to contact her or be in touch, but still relapsing
  6. I broke up with my now ex on a “hunch”, something didn’t feel right. I’m not gonna go into every little “sketchy” thing that happened, but she would disappear hours on end, etc. After the breakup I went to stalk her on Instagram (I didn’t have Instagram during our relationship) and I found that she had posted a picture of her ex when we had first started seeing each other. I had asked her if she was seeing anyone on our first date and she said no. This was a very short relationship (5months) but I still have feelings for her. I want to confront her about it but I don’t know if that will help
  7. So I met this guy 4 months ago one night when I was out with the girls. The minute we met we were attached at the hips and teasing eachother with our crazy sarcasm and jokes all night and ended the night with a kiss. Almost every night for two weeks we were still attached at the hip and having so much fun. I’m telling you I’ve never felt like this with anyone else I don’t know how to explain it he brings out the best in me and I can be my total self around him. Anyways Unfortunatley after the two weeks he did something a little shady and went back with an ex( long story) I thought he was an as
  8. Hello everyone. My gf (25) and I (24) had been dating for just under a year and I thought things were going great. We had trips planned this summer and had even planned on moving in together in October. Then, without any real warning, she broke up with me last Friday without saying much about why. We didn't have a major blow up or fight the last time we saw each other. She really only said she's been so crazy at work and stressed out and she isn't sure how she feels in the relationship. I was graceful on the phone with her and we hung up. The next few days were obviously hard but I avoided
  9. I have known my friend for about six years. When we started college I introduced her to my other friend and they became quite close and formed a group with others. They always seemed to be having fun and laughing about silly things and I found it really difficult to join in because I suffered really badly with depression during that time. That's when she seemed to start fading away. I feel that maybe she gave up on me because she thought I was too depressing and boring whilst she always seemed to be having fun with our other friends. A few months ago I asked her why we've lost contact. She sai
  10. Why is it so hard to let go!?? Especially of someone who led you to believe they were single, they loved you, they've never met anyone like you as if we were soul mates, etc. all lies and in essence this was a "fake" person who was after his own gain. To manipulate and deceive to get what he wanted for 6 months until i caught on to the lies. The he tries to put more lies on top of lies never admitting to what i confronted him about which was an engagement to another woman and never being single as he led me to believe. Then he just stops all communication, changes his number (lied saying he lo
  11. Heres my story: In 8th grade I fell for this girl, let's call her Sam, I have no idea why, but I just did. I didn't even hang out with her often Anyhow I asked her out, got rejected... often. As time goes on I still like her, of course I cried/mourned about it, grieved about it etc. I cut her out of my life practically (I never talked to her). Yet I kept thinking about her every now and again, I asked out a few girls, but nothing really came out of it. I went to something like a military boot camp (encampment for civil air patrol) and through the big chunk of the time... I THOUGHT OF HER
  12. So, I went to see a therapist today for the first time in my life, and it felt good to get everything off my chest as I have bottled it up for long enough, such is my tendency. She offered a bit of food for thought, but first I will offer a quick recap of my situation. I live in Japan, and was seeing a girl in Tokyo for 3 years, visiting her most weekends. Never argued, always had fun, etc. She suddenly went cold, distanced herself, then stopped replying to me. I was going to move closer to her, but presumably our differences regarding the future (marriage urgency, children, living in Japan
  13. I appologise if this is long but i want to give you the best picture and unbias understanding i can. Me and my girlfriend/exgirlfriend have been together for 3 years. We've been through a lot of ups and downs together like any relationship, Travelled to loads, Gone to loads of festivals together. Spent 100's if not 1000s of hours together and we've both had some amazing times together. The relationship was better when she was at uni and I saw her every weekend. Since then she moved back to our home city for me/to be round friends. In the last 6 months or so i've seen a decline in our
  14. I don't know why, but I seem to be having a harder time coping with things not working out with a guy I was interested in right after I ended my LTR. I feel more upset about the fling than I do the LTR and I'm wondering if it has something to do with closure? My LTR coming to and end was sad, yes, but it also felt like the right decision so I got over it quickly. I had time to think and process my decision and I'm not one to regret much. Things with this other guy never even got a chance to start and even though I ended it, I'm like... OBSESSED. I want to see him everywhere... Constantly
  15. A year n a half ago I saw my boyfriend on a couch with some dumb how bag she was nearly on him according to him she wasn't close enough to touch him and feels he did nothing wrong I mean I think that when people show up and your on the couch laying down , the correct thing to do is sit up straight right? Well no my man stayed that way and this how bag sat on the couch and little by little she got closer n closer. I mean in the position that they were both in I consider that so disrespectful low as hell on his part, but since that insistent I totally changed towards him I hate him for making lo
  16. Hey guys, I've been posting on this board a couple times this month mostly because I was proud of myself for competing a month of NC and starting to feel better. My lease is up soon and my ex still had my extra key so naturally I had to break NC to get it back from her. Not something I wanted to do because I knew I wasn't totally ready to talk to her. We met up yesterday and exchanged some stuff we both had and she was about to leave, I asked her if she wanted to talk or just go. Much to my surprise she did talk. Mostly apologizing, saying she never wanted to hurt me, that she still d
  17. Coming from the "other woman" I've spent the last few years 4 to be exact with a married/seperated man, they were both living independently I would stay with him mostly at his home she had her own place, this I am certain. Well a few months ago his behavior started to change and ultimately he had to tell me his wife came home, he felt he owed it to her to try to work things out after all they have been together for 20 years ( married only the last 5). He said he thought it would make their relationship better so 5 years ago they did the Vegas thing. Any how he's very personal/secretive. The ot
  18. My ex and are DONE. ( relief ) although he initiated it I am content to move forward without him. The relationship was not healthy and he didnt have what it takes to sustain anything long term..Both emotionally an mentally immature. NOW that it has ended..we have both gone to a place that is low.. ( im talking low ) We both have said awful and very petty things to eachother...IM no angel..but I stopped engaging this way a week ago...Im trying to go no contact but today my ex comes at me in attack mode on an app we both use and he starts going off...its a dating app....he was making co
  19. we broke up slightly over a week ago, going through NC now (4th day). is it selfish of me to just leave my things over at his place as it may still remind him of us. should i break NC, take my stuff from his place and then restart NC for good this time. this way, it would be good for him too, as he wont be constantly reminded of me as i have a lot of things over at his place. maybe also right now, part of me would want to see him for the last time and get some real closure for myself. when we ended things, it was respectful and amicable, but it happened so fast (in less than 2 hours). th
  20. I'm from the US and was travelling overseas last December. I went to a music festival with a friend of mine who was performing. We were all eating at a local lunch spot when another performer came in (also from the US--I'm from the West Coast and he's from the East Coast). Our eyes immediately locked, but we are both very shy people. We sort of chatted for a sec and kept exchanging eye contact that day. That evening we ended up alone and very spontaneously made love (which surprised us both). It was very intense. We exchanged cards and ended up connecting on FB later. Messaged a bit over the n
  21. I just broke up with boyfriend for the second time who I dated for a little less than a year. He did not take it well in that right when I said " we should break up." He replied "are you ing serious" then stormed out of the room and slammed my door shut. I have not spoken to him since, a week and a half ago. I'm in my last year of college and mistakenly called him out of weakness while on spring break last week at 2:30 am, which he did not respond. He has already deleted pictures he has posted of me and unfollowed me on almost every social media platform. I feel extremely guilty for ending it
  22. Okay, so I'll start from the beginning... I met a guy through mutual friends in November. We live about 300 miles apart, but we kept in touch and when he was visiting his parents over Christmas (they live 50 miles from me), we went on a few dates and slept together. We agreed to start seeing each other exclusively and things moved very fast between us - admissions of strong feelings, etc. We took it in turns to visit each other every other weekend. One thing that was always a bone of contention for us, were his poor communication skills - this turned into a heated argument on Monday but we
  23. We dated for three months , everything was good at first . Then I started taking birth control and it made me very emotional . I would cry for no reason and get annoyed about little things. I warned him before I started taking it that I may act different on it because I have taken a different kind before and it made me feel crazy. So I got off of it and he seemed distant and I constantly kept asking what was wrong and was worrying about it . He would always say nothing was wrong but he stopped contacting me as much and wanted to hang less and just seemed angry on our phone calls. I should
  24. Hi guys, I had an interview with Goldman Sachs last Wednesday. I met the recruiter from their HR department same day for coffee, he told me they move really quick once they like you. Like same day offer quick. I met 5 people total, 4 rounds of interview. One session was with the hiring manager where i had to do coder-pad interview. They asked me about 6 algorithm questions all together but two of them i had to code in coder-pad. I did very well with the rest but failed to answered one coder-pad question which was conducted by hiring manager. After the interview, I send the recruiter
  25. My ex and I broke up a little over a month ago. When we broke up, she said some things along the lines of ''I know I'm going to end up waiting for you. It's your responsibility to come to me when you make the relationship work. I still love you. Let's talk in a month or so''. I know that people say a lot of things in breakups to create a soft landing, but it's hard to know how much she meant. We both agreed to the break up because things had become toxic, but I was a little more resistant than she was. I recently asked if she had a chance to talk about closure because leaving the door ha
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