tommyt

I was with my ex for nearly 11 month. she broke it off when i was doing a training course somewhere else in the country for a promotion i took at work when i was offered it. I know how u feel m8 its hard. I nearly turned to the Bong myself. Havent smoked it in a year and a half by now. I will not at any point lie to u mate. Its hard It hurts like hell. the fact is m8 u gotta Force yourself to get out of bed. Force yourself to smile, and laugh with friends. We know it hurts so much to loose the one you love. I tried the friends thing against all the good advice ppl here gave me. It didnt work it made me worse. I broke no contact every few days.. Made me worse i felt better at the time but it was just a reminder of what i missed. What helped me abit. Time alone, Time to think, Work throught he hurt,, Nights out with friends to laugh and joke on smile again. Have fun Work through it at my pace. I no longer feel the same as i did.. That first few month was hard. Hardest thing ive gone through in my life. But im wiser for it, I wont let myself get so attahed to some1 again so easily. Keep ur chin up m8 stay clear of the dope try not to drink unless your with a good crowd of m8s that willl make u laugh and forget for a while... And remember NOT TO CONTACT HER. its the biggest mistake ever to get in touch with them leave it where it is. Dont go lookin for the asnwers cause the answers wont help its over and you just have to learn to accept it

Ive been broken up from my ex now for about 4 month its been a while sincemy last post. Im doing better, Im in the prossess of moving on slowly finding my feet again working out who i am these days making plans for my own future alone for some time atleast Planning on traveling and seein the world that i always wanted to do. Its taken me this long to get to where i am now for the most part the acceptnace its over and im movng on with my life. I know theres no going back. I tried to be friends but she just doesnt seem to want to make it work so ive left that behind. I dont contact her i stay away from it. Ive felt good for the first time in ages just lately life felt good i was myself. But then a few hours ago i woke up. No1 next to me in my bed no1 to get in touch with and have a laugh and joke on with like i used to her and Feelin a bit lonely. Is this what its like to feel and know your single again to have accepted it where you are moving on from it all. To have the Good days where you just laugh and smile like before you met them.. And then to have that day when just everything seems a bit numb and the realisation that there isnt any1 there anymore comes back about and you find yourself sat here thinkin of a few old times with her and the times before you met her.. Woundering if things can bee the same again.. Im just finding it hard to be Alone 2day. Im finding it hard because i feel so lonely sorta like there is no1 else in the world but me. While thinkin back to before the relationship before we met and got together I dont remember feeling lonely I could spend weeks without even seein any1 outside of work and feel perfectly fine with it just going about my routen. Im striving hard to find that again just it doesnt seem to be coming back the way it should. The acceptance is here, I know im alone again. I know im free to do as i wish. Hence why i am saving and workinging my * * * * off to save for a trip to austrailia im going back packing around. My voyage of self descovery Re finding my lost path. Anyways what i wanted to know was is it normal to even though you have physicaly accepted its over that you starting to feel yourself again. To have these days where things just dont feel right its not a desire to be with the ex. its not that at all. its more the being with some1 even though u dont want to go into a relationship again. Atleast not yet. The last relationship stoped my plans for traveling that i had made i will not entre another1 putting my Desire to see atleast a small part of the world before im to old to see it.

People ask for break up songs and the likes but somethin i read a long time ago where some amazing bits of poetry and one stuck in my head to this day i just cant find it any more. I found this site Of quotes and the likes with one line of it funnly the only line i can remember of it any chance one of you has the words of this stored somewhere?? link removed some of them are worth a read if ur interested expresses the hurt and the like that we just cant find the words to say 63. If the only way we can be together is in my dreams, then let me sleep forever. well thats the line from the peom that i managed to track down any chance one of u knows it all or has a link to it or something?

Well i am officialy as you would probably all say doing well in NC. its currently day 11 for me and its really hard.. still think about her every day, she still creaps into my thoughts no matter how busy i keep myself. Im workin all the hours i can get at work not really takin time off odd day only. stoppin myself from drinkin so i dont get that urge to just get in touch for no reason. its been over a month since our break up and im still feelin just as bad as day 1 inside. Well at times... the coment about me being Bi polar switching mind sets i got off of other posters here its still true. the 15th was a bad day for me. one month since the break up. was on a downer all day at work. which is still my sanctuary stops me from thinkin to much while we are at peak busy periods anyways. its so hard. I did the thing of removin her from my MSN deleting her and still regret it daily wish i hadnt done it and fight the urge to place her back onto it just to try and talk things over with her or even just ask her how she is doing. when im not at work i spend my time on my computer playin Eve online because it helps me stay destracted. its wokrin a bit but not totaly. Im fighting every thing inside me right now every single emotion battling for things i just dont understand any more. totaly confused directionless one thousand ideas come through my head daily the biggest one is to just more away from here i know i could find work with a franchise in a differant area of the country and that idea is so appealing to me the only thing is uprooting myself would take more drive than i think i truly have in all honesty. i have the option to move abroad with help of friends if i can find enough funds to get to the states. or other friends sayin they would help me find a place in another part of the country and the idea is VERY appealing just to escape this area where i have spent the last 22 years of my life. but then i dont know if that truly would be the right thing to do at all.. to just up sticks and move away leavin everythign and any chance me n steph might have of getting back together which each day looks more and more doubtfull since she since the break up hasnt really made much of an effort to get into touch with me at all.. which i think is the biggest sign that its totaly over which no matter how much i think just cant seem to accept it.

Ok ive had enough of listenin to depressin songs. Its time to change my patern i have one tune lifts me rock wise but i need some sujestions. Heavy metal best but anything will do. THe one i am listenin to right now The all american Rejects - Move along *sorry can a mod move this for me to Break up thread lol*... *cheers was a post in totaly wrong thread heh*

Fawd this sucks, I know right now in my heart that there is little chance no matter what all her friends keep tellin me and every1 that knows the pair of us that its over and chances are it just aint happening we aint getting back to gether. My head just srewed up again. I have to move on but i cant seem to accept this at times. I keep tryin to give her her space. enter no contact for not just me but for her aswell. its what the pair of us need. Not just me. but i cant find the strenght not to break it day in day out. the desire to get in touch fills me so strong i know its doing me more harm than good but i cant stop myself breakin it. I cant keep myself desracted enough not to think about her. Went out with a mate last night. was good all of it until about 2:30 am. Thats when i looked at my phone saw the time.. And Our song came on in the club at just that moment. it was the point in time where a year ago right then i was sat in a Taxi back from town.. After our works xmas do. After she asked me for my number.. After i saw her to a taxi and got in 1 myself to go home.. It was the time that she was textin me for the first time while before going to bed. At that very moment. All the emotions hit me and are still here now. All i can think about is how much i miss her, And want to win her back. I dont know what to do with myself any more i lost my strength its all gone every ounce of it. I know i intend to Go full no contact for atleast a month but i cant find it in me to do it.. i keep tellin me to do it. not to get in touch not to talk to her. But EVERY time i initiate it i break it.

I know how it goes heh good and bad. just gotta hang in there

I just got told somethin 2nite.... a mutual friend of mine and my ex's its basicaly my old shift manager at mcd's and her current some1 she tells all to told me something tonight that finally had the tears come forth after weeks of not comin to the surface they finally here and i cant stop em... I now know why we ended why our relationship is over... Ands its somethin totaly stupid. THe one thing i never said on here is since its my first relationship and hers we are both still virigins.. She is not ready to loose it yet and thought i wanted it 1k times more than i did.. Sure i admit i would love to have lost it to her by now but i have always thought that she understood that i would wait until she was ready. thats the thing she didnt. So in the end the lack of sex between the pair of us over nearly a year was the end of us. She thought i wanted it while i was more than willin to wait for the moment at which she was ready. So the low point i find myself at is all due to miss representation and missunderstaning between us. Die to somethin so stupid i have lost the most most important thing in my life and its hurtin me like hell. its 4 am and i want nothin more than to phone her and tell her whats going on and that she was mistaken. That how can sex to a virgin matter.. There is no point of referance.. I never cared all i cared about in our relationship was her. Now these tears have started it feels like they will never stop i managed to shut them off for a few hours while i was out and with friends now they start and i cant. The most preasuse thing in my life in 22 years has ended because of a stupid miss understanding about something that matters 0% to me right now. never did. Only how good she made me feel ment to me. Im so lost i just dont know what to do any more.

Well we saw eachother 2day went for that coffee, All went well, But i have to admit that the hurt x boyfriend is still in me i felt it a couple times but he slipt back away to the hole he hides in and only comes out at night right now on the other hand i am gettin ready for my xmas party. This is the true test of my own metal because a. she is there and i aint seen her since the break up while drunk ish... and its only on a night time that those feelings come out in me guess i play it by ear and see what happens heh

This is doing my head in. I really dont understand how i can do this For the last few days ive beent his person that had accepted it and felt like he was moving on yet for the last few hours it started that i felt a lil bit of fear over seein her now i feel like im ready to full on panic over it. yet the plans are made agreed upon and i cant go back on my wordits the only thing i have Right now i can give My word. All i can think about right now is that 354 days ago i met her. 2mora is my xmas do which i dont even know if i can drag myself into going out of fear now that she is going to be there... i know that i want to go but there is this little voice in the back of my head sayin NOOO DONT GOOO!!!!I am crappin myself here so much termoil out of nowhere throwin me into total confusion

Im confusing the hell out of myself right now.. I swear im like 2 or 3 ppl in one. One moment things feel fine like im able to do anything the next im scared of whats happening in my life, the next im some one totaly differant again, Im like Cerberus the 3 headed dog.. So many differant ppl all at once yet at differant times.. Hell even writing this has me confused.

scsavino You are alot stronger than you give yourself credit for. when i started postin here about my break up you where one of the first to make comment to me. Alot of what you have said to me is helpin me through this slowly. Knowin that there are others out there suffering dunno why just does help a little.. Even though you say u feel week ect. You are strong Your inner strenght shines through the clouds without you even realising it. If any one of the pair of you is weak its him. He is causing you pain that is so much undeserved you are a carin person I know it hurts just stay focused on the light at the end of the tunnel i know you cant see it. I know im finding it hard to see myself at times i am havin good hours and bad ones, My mood swings more than a 60's hippy. I find myself sinkin and raisin from minute to minute right now im really down yet a half hour ago i was the happiest i felt in a long time. That make me bipoler aswell?? One minute im ready to accept its over then the next im tryin to work out a way in my head to fight for her. One minute i really see that we could be friends then the next i just dont know. The key i have found though is i have to have a little faith in myself. That is something that you ppl here at Enotalone have helped me realise i have to have faith in me to do whats right for me. I cant let her make the desisions in my life. Only i can make them. I didnt realise just how much control over my destiny i sacrivised to her without her wantint to take it. Anyways have faith in yourself, Know that the urge that feelin the missin him is natural no matter how much of a * * * * * he might have been to you, You had invested emotional security in him, That makes you not stupid but someone who thought they had found someone that cared and placed their hopes for the future in them. Its like a business to put it coldly, You invest your time and money into it and hope for the best, let it grow and consume Hopin to reap the rewards of the initial investment always puttin more of yourself and your funds into it to get more out at the other end. Just sometimes it colapses and falls in on itself leavin you tired and skint. You are tired, you have invested so much of you that it feels like you have lost Yourself in the end time is the only thing that can stop the hurt. Your sons are lucky to have a mother that cares for them the way you do. He was just as lucky just he didnt realise it and thats his fault not ours. Gl hang in there Be strong, Use the strenght you have already proven to me you have it might not feel like its there but it is. It is you and the ppl like you on here that are inspiring me and pushin me to find that strength in myself to work past this hard chapter in my life and hope for a better day. Above all remember, To thy own self be true

Am i right to be crappin myself over a possable meetin with my x 2mora. Its sorta part arainged we both have to be in town for diff reasons I have to get xmas presents in she on way home from uni. so we *MIGHT* meet up for a coffee in town not totaly deffo but i hope she does decide to actually do it. Its scarin the hell out of me the idea of seein her again but i want nothin more to try and move this relationship onto friendship lvl if i can. Dunno what scares me more the thought of her not turning up or sayin no.. Or that she does.. I lose her out of my life totaly and the friends thing doesnt work... or that its all that can ever be between us again friends...

Hey bud hang in there m8 hope things get better for ya quick. I know the pain ya going through it sucks major * * * *. Hurts more than a gapin wound. Sheer depression relax a little m8 think about the good times you hand in the end memorys are powerful things. But try letting go i know it takes time, Hell im going for coffee with my ex 2mora and im * * * *tin myself tryin tow ork on a friendship out of our relationship gettin so anctous its unbeleivable worst part is if it goes badly knowin im gonna be slap bang where i was not that long ago feelin how you do now my friend. Gl with this stay strong and let what needs to happen happen its the only way forwad u have.Its gonna take time for us both whatever happens Hell if u want a sympathetic ear drop me a line on here ya can have my MSN addy a friendly load of text to try help ya through it

Ok this is where i need some advice again heh. How do i go about changing from a lovin relationship BF/GF to just friends thats a part i aint figured out yet. only way i can see it workin is if i can do some sort of emotional u turn i guess you could call it. and another one. She was sayin to me when we chatted last night that she is sorta scared to see me because of the fact that its over... I dont want her feelin guilty for ending it but how do i stop that i dunno how to do it.