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  1. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years now. We’ve been seeing his one friend more often now since he moved back to our town (I’ll call him “R”). My friends seem to think R flirts with me when we all hang out but I can’t tell if it’s flirting or not. For starters, whenever I go to the bar he bartends at, he only charges me for 1 drink no matter how many I have. He also almost always makes me do shots with him. He has driven me back to my boyfriends and my apartment multiple times cause he didn’t want me to walk home drunk or didn’t trust my own friend to drive me back. The one time my friend and I walked home, the next time I saw R he gave me a huge lecture on why that wasn’t safe and he could’ve just driven me. When we’re with him, he teases me a lot. He does act a little differently around me when my boyfriend isn’t around, like he’ll tease me more often or he’ll harass me about the days he’s working at the bar that I don’t go. He told me the other day he loves when I go to that bar when he’s working. Over the weekend, some friends of mine wanted to go see him at the bar (he makes really good drinks and there’s not many places we like to go). My friends ended up wanting to go back to my apartment after and they invited R. He ended up driving me back and the whole way back he was just venting to me about his problems with his girlfriend. At my apartment, we were all drinking a lot and there was a few times R would lay his head on my lap when I sat down on the couch. I also noticed when I wasn’t around him, he would sometimes seem like he was just watching me. He also kept asking me to do shots with him and when we would, he would stand very close to me. My friends and R ended up spending the night since we had all drank a lot. R then all of a sudden was very drunk and kept telling me he thought my one friend was cute. He wanted to sleep next to her and I basically wouldn’t let him 1. Because he has a girlfriend of his own and 2. Because my friend didn’t feel comfortable with that so she asked me to sleep next to her on the couch so he wouldn’t. We all fell asleep on my couch (my boyfriend was asleep in bed the whole time) and my friends fell asleep first. R kept putting his head close to me and he got so close at one point I thought he was gonna kiss me. He just kept drunkenly looking at me and saying “stop it” to me but whenever I asked stop what he wouldn’t tell me. He ended up falling asleep and leaving the next morning around 9am. Does he seem like he’s flirting with me? Or are my friends over reacting? I can’t really tell what it is or if it’s something I should be making my boyfriend aware of.
  2. Me and my girlfriend have been going through a rough patch at the moment due to me developing health anxiety and minor depression and it has really taken a toll on us but she stuck with me through it all, I noticed a distance in her and we discussed and sorted it all out and we were on the road to being happy again. Last night I had an opportunity to read her messages as I knew she'd been texting a guy she slept with a long time ago (I know I shouldn't have gone through her phone but I was drunk and my anxiety got the better of me) there were some flirty texts there and I noticed when she wasn't replying or talking to me she had been chatting away to this guy in massive paragraphs and cheeky flirty messages such as talking about what she was wearing to an Ann summers party and saying she wished she was with him when he mentioned he wished she was there. I brought it up to her and she said it meant nothing and that was the way her and this guy had always talked to eachother, she acknowledged it was flirty and apologised saying she would cut all contact with him to which I said I don't want her to do that as I don't want to be the reason she loses a friend. Since this happened she has told me she thought nothing of what was said and she loves me and wants to do anything to make it up to me that she can and that the shady buisness stops here or our relationship does. The question is do I forgive her, I understand why she was pushed away due to our relationship troubles but I thought we were getting better, I'm just a bit confused and need someone to advise me on if I should end it now or forgive her and move on, If I trust her when she says nothing was going to come out it and she will never do it again I open myself up to being a pushover and it happening again and in my current head state I dont think I can do this again, somebody please help
  3. I am worried my boyfriend and my Sister in law have a thing for each other. They are both flirts. My sister in law drinks wine and she gets all lovey dovey and schmoozy after a couple glasses of wine and everytime i have a new boyfriend she gets flirty with them and its getting to the point that its making me very mad. Its gotten to the point with my most recent boyfriend that i am avoiding visitation with my own brother just to avoid this situation. My boyfriend who is also a flirt even w/o drinking but give him a couple drinks and he crosses my boundaries when it comes to flirting. So we kind of avoid drinking in public. When we are at my bro and SIL's house she won't leave my boyfriend's sight and one day recently she asked for my boyfriend's phone number and out of the corner of my eye i caught them giving each other the eye stare. Then when we are leaving she wraps her arms around my boyfriend's neck and kisses him on the cheek near his mouth i think only because i was standing near him saying goodbye to my brother. I used to really like her but now she is making me sick. How can she be so disrespectful to my brother and undermine thier relationship. My brother acts aloof but i just bet given the chance she would jump at the chance to bed my boyfriend. I dont trust neither one. I am trying to rebuild trust in my boyfriend after he did something to break my trust and this surely doesn't help. Just a couple days i caught my boyfriend eyeballing a pretty lady at a store. I know his body language . He moved in real close to her as we were walking out ( i was behind him) and slowed down as we were walking past her desk. Its as if he wants to be acknowledged just to see if she was interested. She looked up at him and smiled and said goodbye. This makes me feel so insignificant. We had an all out argument over it and i told him how this makes me mad when he does stuff like that & how it makes me feel.. i have no desire to do anything like that to him. I only have eyes for him so this makes me wonder just how much he loves me if he keeps chasing someone elses tail. So, now that we have a somewhat close relationship with my brother i dont know how to react or how to intervene because i have a temper and i m afraid when i blow its going to end my relationship with my brother. I want to see my brother but i cant stand my b/f & my SIL flirting with each other. It really bothers me and make my visit with my brother very uncomfortable. How can i approach this situation without coming right out with accusations and making things ugly? I feel like my feelings are always getting challenged. I know i do have problems with insecurities and i'm trying to work on them but things like this doesn't help. 😔
  4. Hi everyone, I (23F) have a huge long distance crush. This guy (23M) lives far away. We met last summer, and hooked up once. We stayed in contact since all this time and we keeped flirting and sexting. I told him first I didn’t want a committed relationship because I was dealing with personal problems at the time. We never had a chance to have a proper date and to get to know each other and to build something. We flirted all the last 3 weeks, and suddenly he blocked me on an app and apologized, telling me he just found a girl and had to be serious now. He said he wanted « to keep in touch », that he would keep me informed, with a flirty tone. Now he ignores me a little throught social media, like I am a threat for his new girl. I feel a little heartbroken because I was used to talk to him and was excited to see him soon, but now it is over (for now). I think he likes me too, but went for someone physically and geographically closer to him. I feel like I missed my chance. I am afraid his new relationship will last for a long time, and I am going to move to his town in 3 months for work. I hoped we would have a chance to start something. Do you think he will call me back? Should I remain friendly to stay in touch with him or is there no chance to meet again in the future?
  5. I'm 24 and have zero social life. I'm a journalist at a newspaper. I do have friends but I hardly visit them. I am shy and don't talk much and when I do talk, I'm really soft and people need me to repeat what I say at least a couple of times. I do feel lonely, but I love sport. I literally spend all my weekends and spare time at home either watching sport/TV or playing on my laptop. That helps me deal with my loneliness. I don't have good hygiene (which no one notices) because I don't have the energy to look after myself well. The only girls I see are in the office. There's a new girl in the office for a couple of weeks now, which I like. I think she gave me small opportunities to work with, but I'm not a good conversation and remained silent. Maybe she flirted very slightly with me on Wednesday and Thursday, but she gave me nothing on Friday. Do you think I'll be alone forever?
  6. I just don't understand it and it's really frustrating. It's been happening WAY too often lately, but everytime I talk to a girl either from Tinder or someone I meet in person we exchange a number of texts talking and getting to know each other with some flirting going on between both of us. But as soon as I make plans with them they agree to it, but then boom they cancel usually the day we're supposed to get together or literally a few hours before. They ALWAYS hit me with the excuse of "oh sorry not feeling well tonight" or some crap like that. I just assume they're out with their friends or hanging out with a different guy instead, so I quickly lose interest and stop messaging them; in which kills the communication entirely because they don't ever send a message to reschedule. It's strange because they seem genuinely interested at first talking to me. In the past 2 weeks I've had a total of 4 girls cancel on me all with similar excuses, and I just don't know what to do or what I'm doing wrong. I have a friend who is very successful and hardly ever has females cancel on him. Not going to lie but it's kind of hurting my confidence and self esteem, and giving me a pessimistic mentality of "what's the point of talking to this next girl, she'll just cancel like the others". Any advice?
  7. Hi everyone, It is my first post here and a bit long, sorry about that. To summarize, I was attracted to my best friend but kept it to myself. We are both in our late 20s and have been best friends for a couple of years, and known each other for 7 years. He started flirting with me after his on again off again 4 year old relationship ended. Theirs was mostly a long distance relationship, me and her did know each other much. After about 2 months of flirting, we talked about it and decided to try dating. After two weeks, he told me he loved me but was not in love with me. He did not know why he started flirting with me, just found me attractive and wanted to act on it. He wanted to see if it would be more but did not feel committed after we started. He still wanted to go on dates or vacations with me, and sex was great between us, but he did not want to risk our friendship by entering a relationship when he was not in love, and did not want to stay monogamous to someone he did not love after getting out of a loving relationship. He also did not feel ready to flirt with anyone yet, said I was the only one he could approach. He did not try to meet anyone, and felt cold when someone flirted with him when we were together. I think he is still like that. I should have stopped it then but it evolved into friends with benefits with exclusivity which lasted for 4 months. I was the one who finished it. Now I know it is great that he told it before I got more attached, and I can even understand him a bit but I still feel hurt and rejected. I am angry that he acted without thinking, that he thought his nonexistent feelings would change only after sex when we knew each other so much, that he thought only a relationship would risk our friendship and sex or dating would not. Am I right to insist he had to really think on his feelings before approaching me? Or am I overthinking about it? We talked about my emotions and my feeling hurt, he apologized sincerely but does not think he mistreated me, or it was a rebound for him. It has been 3 months since we went back to being just friends but letting go of my negative feelings is hard. The initial pain is gone and I sometimes feel totally fine. But sometimes anger and hurt comes back. My attraction to him is gone, but unfortunately my respect and trust for him as my best friend also have diminished. I don’t even know how I will feel when he gets a new girlfriend, I am afraid I will compare myself to her. I sometimes feel annoyed with him and bitter, but sometimes I have no problems with him and feel normal. It feels tiring to have these mood swings. I just want to let it go and stop being this bitter or resentful. Would appreciate advice on how to achieve this because obviously I am not very good at it. Thanks very much.
  8. For background, just coming out of a pretty heavy relationship, decided to jump into the dating game recently. Met a lovely guy on a dating app, we went out for drinks last week and we literally didn't stop talking, it was wonderful, we only hugged goodbye (to my disappointment). I got a little drunk over the weekend with some friends and was sending him a few flirty messages, he responded back. We continued talking to each other on Monday, and again, quite flirty and he invited me over Monday night at around 8/9pm. We watched a movie in his bed and some TV and talked until about 1am and then he kind of just curled up and went to sleep, I wasn't going to drive home that late so I just laid there fully clothed - when I woke up he was literally as far away from me on the other side of his bed and the morning was so awkward, it felt like he just wanted me to leave. I get such a good vibe from him but I've never slept fully clothed in a man's bed before and he didn't even try to make a move? Is he not attracted to me? The messages we sent were pretty dirty so why/did he really just invite me over to watch a movie? Maybe I'm reading into this wrong..
  9. Hi, I will try to be brief. I am 46, my gf is a 37 single mom (2 kids)...few months ago she went to a bachelorette party (in a club) with some girls, i found out that she ended up flirting and dancing with some young guy of 21. Before i find out she told me that some guy came to her, talked to her while she was dancing, but she refused him and sent him away. I found out that she danced with him, i confronted her with this, and said "yeah, i forgot, we danced a little bit, few seconds, but that's it", and she swore that it was it. After 2 months i was able to get some videos made at that club, and i saw that she danced somehow in an intimate way with him, several times, and spoke and laughed several times, and at some point she danced with him on the table, also in an intimate way (when i say intimate, i didn't see any kissing, but intimate position). I confronted her again with this and she said that simply she forgot about that dancing on the table, because she drank too much that night, and the reason that she danced with him because we had a big fight that day and she just wanted to forget. 1- I am not sure if i can tolerate and accept the dancing and flirting part 2- I sure can not accept the lying. The idea is, whatever happens we can talk about it, even if we end up cheating, we can discuss it, so i don't understand why she still insists on lying. I am not sure if what i wrote makes any sense to you. But i appreciate your advices. Thanks in advance
  10. I became somewhat involved (flirting, texting, kissing) with my boss after the project we'd been working on fell through (and my job was essentially over). He felt bad about the deal going dead and said it was his responsibility to offer me a job at his firm when i moved home next summer. After our last meet up, something happened, and he went radio silent. I do know that during this time he had a medical issue and was in the middle of litigation (on the deal that tanked) plus he has an investment company to run...he's on the board of multiple companies, so to say he's busy is an understatement. I got a little freaked out thinking I'd f'd up a perfectly good job opportunity by falling into something I wasn't emotionally prepared for. His texts stopped and so did mine - it was a palpable shift, at least to me. I decided it was time to clear the air so I texted him - he called the next day and sounded as if nothing had happened, very cool and casual, and reiterated the job offer to me again. We talked about a few different things but all very positive, like old friends connecting. What was I worried about I told myself...clearly he isn't thinking about what happened in the same light as I am. My friends say I'm way too in my head on this and all is well. Truth be told, I would be open to having a relationship with him - and find a different job. Did I commit the ultimate sin, as a female in business? Would he even waste his time leading me on if he didn't mean that the job was still mine? I get there are other implications to deal with in a work setting, but I've know him for 25 years, and our paths have crossed more than once...this is the first time anything flirty ever happened. Just sucks that now when I'd like to work with him again, my heart is involved. Do I believe him and take it at face value? Do I lay low and re connect closer to when I move home? I was the one to reach out last...he knows how to reach me, so ball in his court. Last thing I want to do is come of as pining and needy.
  11. Hi,approximately 2 years ago a guy contacted me on a language exchange site telling me some interesting info about his native language. As the conversation kept going he asked, all of a sudden ,if I was gay. I said I was bi and he then quickly engaged into a sexual conversation,which was really weird cause it had no place in that particular context. I didn't reply but he gave me his skype id. About this guy: He is in his late twenties,bisexual and always flirts online ( he told me that); has no sexual experience because he lives in an oppressive country that does not accept sex out of marriage or homosexuals. As I was having my videocall with this guy,I was practicing his language but I noticed him masturbating. I pretended not to notice that. Later on that day he kept saying that he likes my personality,that I am different compared to the others he flirts with and that it is intriguing. He kept texting me weird stuff about marriage, kisses and sex,which i never addressed because they were too weird and it was really poor flirting. As he was saying beautiful things about me, I created a fake profile pretending to be a cute gay guy. I sent him a message. He replied with the same lame text and left his skype id. That time I felt I was an idiod to have had fallen for a guy who flirts online with everybody. Deep down I knew he is a very flirty person,but the words about me being special etc.kinda made me feel a sort of attachment. I stopped repliying for a year. He kept on sending me every month messages on skype that he misses me,all left unreplied. This year out of curiosity I decided to reply back and we exchanged our numbers. We kept on videocalling and he was really weird,sending me kisses, masturbating and all things of that nature. Sometimes we manage to talk about other things,but his main goal is flirting. I also tried to flirt and play that game,which got him more interested. He started texting me every day the same beautiful things about me. And i notice that he puts a lot of effort in writing those messages! He proposed me to meet up somewhere in a foreign country,because he'd like to ''be my man''. When I felt like replying to him and feeding his fantasies using his poor flirting texts,he was very talkative and available to answer some questions I had for him. When I did not feel like playing ''the role'' and switched the focus on other subjects he quickly started ignoring and ghosting me. NOW: I do not know what to think about this guy. I have always known that he is a flirty dude,but I feel stupid for feeling any sense of attachment just because of his words about me. They feel so real! and what about the whole year where he messaged me without me replying back?Maybe he really feels something for me? What do you guys think? Because this whole situation is really toxic,but very addictive.
  12. I'm an undergraduate student. After my last short-term relationship (not sure if i can even call it that), I just realized that i treat girls like a goddamn video games achievement. Believe me, i wasn't doing it on purpose. When i saw an attractive girl, i just couldn't help but flirt, flirt, and flirt. I invested so much time doing that and when she finally starting to show interest in me, i lost interest in her almost immediately. I treated her like she's not even fcking existed. I stopped texting and talking to her, and when we accidently met in campus, i don't even make eye contact with her. In my head, there's only regret from wasting so much time and effort, and the question "why did i flirt with her again?" always pops up. The week after, i found the next attractive girl. And the cyle repeats. I found that i really like the adrenaline pump from flirting with girls, it's challenging! Heck, given how fast my heart beat, i probably even fell in love with them at the first sight. But when i learned that they starting to like me, it stops being fun. That 'love' just completely disappear. There's even this one girl that actually asked me out. And i was like "is she fcking crazy?". I completely cut off all contact with her after that. So, am i just the typical normal as*hole ? Or do i need to be worried? Finding out about this scare the sh*t out of me, but at the same time, being scared about it excites me! I really don't know whether to be scared, or happy. F*ck, this is probably just me overreacting. I don't even know why i wrote all of this in the first place..
  13. Hi! Looking for advice :) I dated this girl very briefly, only a few months really before I had to move cities for the time being. We had a great time while we were together but it was so short that we didn’t pursue anything LDR. But for the last 8 months or so there’s always been lots of flirting back and forth with fairly frequent texting and some phone calls as well. She knows that in a couple months I’m returning to her city for awhile (possibly permanently) and we were really excited about that. However, about 3 weeks ago she said that her ex that she dated before me has come around again and even though she “didn’t care all that much” she said he was trying again. Since then, she’s been colder but would still talk to me. But a few days ago we were talking and I was teasing and flirting as usual when she told me to shut up. I asked what’s up and she said “I’m over these games seriously”. I tried again to ask what happened bc I was confused and if something was wrong and it’s now been a few days and she hasn’t responded. I saw on social media that she changed her photo to one of her and her ex smiling but then removed it shortly after. Honestly if she decides to go back with her ex I’m actually pretty ok with that. But I don’t like leaving things in bad taste. I’m really debating just sending a message saying that I didn’t like how the last conversation ended, especially with people I care about, and that I hope we can still be friends? On the other hand, idk if I should leave things for a week or two and then send a message? Or should I just leave it completely and maybe wait and see if she texts me back? I REALLY hate burning bridges and the idea of leaving things this way btw us really bothers me. Please help ):
  14. thanks for opening! so i have been in a relationship witha great guy for 8 months now. he's awesome. sometimes i feel insecure about something so i wanted to ask you all when my boyfriend gets drunk, hes get this confidence and starts being really friendly and flirty with females. we will be out at a bar or restaurant and there will be a girl bartender and a guy bartender and he will be friendly and flirty and nice to the female one and feels threatened by the male one - he will approach random girls to say something witty and funny but literally never does it with random males - why is this? any insights or thoughts? experiences?
  15. I would like apologize first,for my bad english.I am not a native english speaker.I am a 22 year old young man and i am currently in college. So my story is about a guy who i met about 3 years ago.He is also 22.I was introduced to him by one of my classmates,just after we started college.We became friends,but i didn't like him very much those days.We were not very close,he actually annoyed me a little bit.His family was not well up so i helped him with a lot of stuff,almost everything,until i helped him get himself a part time job.He was really grateful for it,he still mentions that i mean a lot to him,and that i am very important in his life. 2 years passed and i still didn't feel anything for him,Until he started flirting with me.I don't remember when it exactly started,but i just know that it was him who started it.I don't want to go into a lot of details,but i will mention some of the the things that said.He would text me and say that he knows i miss him,and that it was ok to tell him.He would also tell me that he missed me a lot.Sometimes he would say that he missed my voice.He did this almost everytime he texted or called me,but i didnt even think much about this because i didnt like him that way,sometimes it annoyed me and i wouldn't reply. It kept happening and i kept hoping that it would stop,but it didn't.Even when i showed that i was feeling uncomfortable with him flirting with me like that,he didn't stop..But i slowly started to like it,and sometimes i would reply that i missed him too,and that he could call and hear my voice whenever he missed it.We started to have a very strong relationship,he became more than a friend.Everytime he came from work he would tell me everything that happened,and if there is someone who made him angry,or if he had a tight schedule and was stressed about it. I started to have strong feelings about him,i started to see how cute he was..and how much i missed him when he wasn't there.Sometimes i get angry when he takes time to reply to my messages,but i don't show him that.I started to flirt back and it came to a point where we would talk like an actual couple.It didn't go anywhere though,and we did it mostly on texts.The problem is that now i don't know how to get things back to normal,i feel like i should tell him how much i love him.I have tried to,i told him that i wanted to tell him something,that i have been thinking about for so long,he was so intrested to hear what i was going to say,but i didn't tell him because i am afraid to ruin our friendship.That day he got so didsapointed that i didnt say whatever i wanted to say,he acted like he knew what i was going to tell him.I think that is because i had revealed too much in my texs. So from that day i keep telling him that i want to tell him something.Last week he asked me why i am not saying it,and i said 'you wouldn't like it,and you definitely wouldn't like what i want to do to you'He said 'you might be surprised'..And this other day i literally asked him if it was wrong that i find him attractive,and he said that it was very wrong in evry way,but he wasn't very serious about it.So this is why i haven't told him anything yet because he kind of sends mixed signals.And he also has a girlfriend,that he last saw about 3 years ago because she is studying abroad (Another reason why i haven't said anything).He doesn't ever talk to me about his girlfriend,i actually found out by mistake that he has one,he never talks about his relationships with me,he says that he respects me that's why he doesn't talk about it.He also cares too too much about me,like if i say that i am hungry,he sends me money right away,even if it's the last cent left in his wallet..He says he does that because he is returning the favour.He also gets jealous when i am with other guys,well that's just judging by what he says.I know this one might be irrelevant,but he literally calls my name in every text..Every single text,even when he doesn't have to..There are a lot of things,some i forgot to mention I can't stand this,the relationship is so unhealthy..I have tried to move away,he texted me and asked why i was shutting him down.I don't know what to do anymore.I get so depressed when he takes time before he replies my texts,or when his girlfriend calls and i am around..I just really want to tell him but i am afraid of what will happen,,I have a feeling that he knows i like him,and is waiting for me to make the first move.I dont know what to do..please help.Should i tell him.. by the way,he thinks that i am straight..Thank you to those who will reply and i am very very sorry about my poor english.
  16. So my girlfriend one year and six months has proven for the most part that she is loyal. Unfortunately she doesn’t tell me important things like how one of her friends just got sweet with her over text, and that has me worried. Allow me to explain. My girlfriend and I are on completely open terms with each other as far as our relationship goes. Even to the point where we know all of each other’s passcodes to everything. One day however I’m scrolling through her phone waiting for my own to charge because I’m curious as to how a conversation between her and her sister went about moving in with her sister. That’s when I notice the preview of a text with one of her friends that I already know talking about drinking together. So I click on that because it worries me. Lo and behold, there is an entire conversation about drinking one on one with each other in this guys bedroom. But even worse is the fact that he low key gets sweet on her when she tells him she gets flirty when she drinks. He responds, “flirty or y?” And she barely shuts him down by telling him “just flirty.” He continues to egg her on in the conversation and it clearly feels sexually charged, and somewhere along the lines she brings up a story about making out drunk and he tells her she should come over in that case but she closes the conversation by saying she couldn’t make out with him because she “still has” me and that he wouldn’t like it if she did that to him while he was still in a relationship. But the biggest problem I have with this conversation is that despite him getting fresh with her initially she still insists that they should drink together—not in her bedroom but his. She just insists that she “knows her limits.” On top of that I don’t know if I can fully get behind her rejection of his coming in to her because it doesn’t feel like a rejection. Just that she “still has” me like in an obligation to be loyal to. Not completely shutting down the whole idea of drinking with him, putting ideas in his head that there’s still some chance, knowing how she gets when she’s drunk, knowing how I’d feel about her throwing herself in that kind of situation. Not that, she doesn’t like him like that because she likes me, no, just because she still has me. The big problem here is this friend of hers is, first of all, freshly broken up with his girlfriend. She he’s clearly lonely and desperate. But this is a friend she’s known since before me. But this is also a friend she’s sent nudes to before she knew me as well. So I don’t know how to feel about this. I’ve told my girlfriend to tell me about situations like this in the future and she still hasn’t told me about this yet, as I wait day after day for her to be honest with me about this. Because this isn’t the first time a serious situation like this happened that she decided not to tell me about. In fact this isn’t the first time someone has said something about her that I’m uncomfortable with that she’s treated like attention.
  17. So I’ve always had issues with jumping WAY too fast into things. I’ve recently for the past year been trying to be okay with living alone and being single (I’m usually in relationships). The guys that I usually attract are not “quality” people, so when I meet someone good my mind gets a little too far ahead of me. I recently met a guy on fb, he is in the army and lives quite a ways away with a different time zone but he’s from my area originally. We talk everyday and flirt here and there and will FaceTime now and again. It’s honestly only been about 3 weeks but I’m getting a little bit too crazy when it comes to waiting for him to reply and reading too deep and analyzing everything he’s saying. He’ll say things that reassure me that like he likes me by the things he says like “when we meet” or “when I meet you we need to ___” things like that. I’m just making myself crazy because I am very alone and trying to adjust to living as a single person in a healthy way but after months of going on awful dates and talking to guys that I have no interest in and having been recently freed from an abisive relationship I’m almost scared I’m going to “mess up” this good thing like it usually happens to me. I need to chill but don’t know how to mentally not go crazy!
  18. I am writing because I have few people I can talk to about this and I want to ask your thoughts. I have a medical condition that needs to be managed regularly. The first time I went to my GP he gave me elevator eyes (looked me up and down) and I felt that he stared at me. He was also touchy-feeling, squeezing my shoulder and just being extremely friendly (much more so than any doctor I had previously), leaning in a lot, violating my personal space a bit, etc. Then he started complimenting me at every visit. He told me at different visits, that I have a nice smile, that I always look nice, that he's proud of me, that he liked my shoes, and that he's always happy to see me because I am a nice person. Always at least one compliment per visit. He has also asked me "how are things at home" (but I have read that this is a question doctors ask to screen for domestic violence). However, he runs a bit hot and cold, and has toned down the physical flirting, although he still always compliments me. However, I sense that he might have mixed feelings. We are about the same age. Is this unusual behavior for a medical doctor? From what I described, does it seem to you that this is flirting? Do you have any idea what his intentions are? What should I do to indicate my interest? I like him a lot but it's hard to tell if he is just extra friendly or is flirting with me.
  19. Hi, thankyou in advance to any help given. To start I'll give some background, me and my ex-girlfriend broke up two months ago, we were together for 10 months and it was going brilliantly until we started fighting almost every day and we eventually broke up. I gave her two months of no contact (I highly advise not using no contact, especially for this long) desperately hoping it would work but it didn't, it made things much worse, she went out with another person but it didn't last very long, since she has been going out almost every weekend, especially recently. After the two months were up, I decided to contact her again, it looked like she did want me back and I was making progress quickly, she told me she missed me and we had an amazing call for two or so hours. But then I messed up and spilled my guts to her, begging her to come back, this of course just pushed her away. Now it's been two weeks since and I keep getting lots of mixed signals, I was able to become reasonably good friends with her, and I have flirted a little bit. The problem I have is that she says she doesn't want me flirting with her, and I don't know what to do, she has picked up on it twice, once she told me that she didn't want to flirt with me because it would be a bad idea, as she wasn't over me, she then flirted with me in person via touching and a little language but proceeded to go out the same night and make out with another guy. And the other time she just turned it into a joke. What I need help with is how to get her to want to flirt with me and how I can complete the rest of the process to getting her back, she means the world to me but she just seems to be slipping further and further away.
  20. basically i have a coworker who i have gotten close to and hang out with outside of work so i would consider her a friend. she knows that i was kind of interested in our other coworker. he's honestly kind of an f boy and will do subtle things like snapchat gym pics and rub my arm and shoulders. then also talk about how everyone wants to bang him. so this is honestly not so much about him, im so over wanting guys like him. its that she at first essentially said she doesnt want him so i can have him, which already rubbed me the wrong way bc our friendship was new and i was like woah what makes you think i would need you to bow out in order for me to be able to have him. hes not her type, and they barely talked so i brushed it off. but me and him became friends at the same time that her and i's friendship grew so naturally i brought them closer in friendship. before she honestly kind of avoided him and she told me it was on purpose since hes the type to think everyone wants him. i told her i knew she was probably doing that and i dont like giving him the satisfsction of flirting back either since its just a game to him. but when i said i feel like her avoiding him makes him more curious about her, her eyes kind of lit up. fast forward, we all went out to get a drink and he added us on insta. she then later initiated a group chat with him and i which i thought was kind of weird. like its always just work related jokes we send but if shes so uninterested in him why bother growing that relationship outside of work. then she was telling me she was joking with him about other coworkers. to me its annoying because i know how girls are and i feel like she's seeking him out just little bc of the fact that i liked him and him and i had a friendship first. im not trying to sound childish i just want to get this out bc i know im not making stuff up in my head and this is such a stupid problem that i wanna hear what other people think. idk if im painting the best picture just how shes doing it is in that super subtle competitive way that girls do. and im irritated that friends still are like this in their 20s.
  21. Ok, so I used to be a social butterfly, I used to be a great flirt with people whom I felt comfortable with, I used to talk to anyone and everyone about anything, I could make friends very easily and had a lot of romantic and sexual attention. Along the way I’ve become cold and introverted and socially awkward. I’ve totally lost that side of me that was so bubbling with enthusiasm to get to know someone new, I knew I would get a positive reaction to a cold approach. Times have changed since I was a vibrant outgoing teenager, people rarely make eye contact, they are stuck in their phones. What are some sensible ways to approach people I don’t know to get to know them, particularly with a view to getting numbers for friendship and dates? The best things I’ve come up with so far are commenting on someone’s outfit if I like it but that seems a bit lame. I do believe people dress in a way to show their personality and affinity with certain groups. I wear a T shirt with my favourite Marvel character on and my favourite classic car for example. How can I indicate to someone I find attractive that I am receptive to being approached, without going and blatantly asking for their number? I don’t mind starting the conversation but I am more traditionally minded and tbh I don’t have the balls to ask a guy for his number in the same way I could ask for a woman’s. Any suggestions for conversation starters and ways to indicate interest to others?
  22. So my boyfriend is a senior in high school (I graduated last year). There is a girl in his class who has made it very obvious that she is interested in him and it as caused a few problems because he could not see that she was. They were friends years ago but have not been in the past 3.5 years (2 of which we have been dating.) She started texting him towards the end of the summer wanting him to come party with her and very obviously flirting and what not. He has always been friendly but never flirty. She has also been outwardly rude to me. This furthers my suspicions because we use to be friends and she is known for being friendly. She gets weird around me though. Every time we have been at social events with her, I will see her talking to my boyfriend when I go to talk to someone else, and seconds after I join them, she gets awkward and leaves. (Many of these times she has been way too close to him, touching him arms and stuff). Anyways, my bf does not talk to her anymore because I told him I wasn't comfortable with it and he respects my boundaries. However, he is now applying to work at the same fast food place as her. I know this is not a huge deal and is not really my business. But there are many other fast food places he could apply. Should I mention that I would rather he apply elsewhere or just leave it be?
  23. I've been hanging out with this girl for a month. We've cuddled once and will snap each other for hours on end but recently she hit me with a text saying "thanks bud" am I done for? Should I try to keep flirting with her or just abandon ship and move on I really do have feelings for her.
  24. So me (19) and my ex bf (20) were together for 3 years before he broke up with me. We did have a month of no contact and now we are back to hanging out together. We are having a really good time and he has even told me he loves me and I make him happier. However, he has anxiety and he is insecure about the way he looks, so there is this girl at work who seems to be flirting with him and he told me " she is flirting and no one ever shows interest in me, I am curious". Obviously this is not a good reason to get back together, but have you ever had a situation when your ex was having issues, but you helped them through and got back together? I don't particularly feel threatened by that girl because he is only going to see her during the next 2.5 weeks, and she doesn't go to our college.
  25. I knew this girl for years online. Loved each other immensely, visited each other cross country when we could, the whole nine yards. We moved in and the spark was there for a few months but the area we lived together sparked a lot of negativity in both of us, and I had a ton of trouble adjusting. We lived together nearly a year and I broke things off because of the severe depression I faced living there and I pushed it onto her without realizing it. We were unhappy and I moved back to where I lived to try to get a grip, but we talked nearly every day and it gave me no space to reflect on it. So I pushed her away more. I even saw other people casually despite not wanting to at all just to get away from her neediness and dependence on me. I had no idea why I was doing these things. I convinced myself "i'm single, may as well make the best of it," and only managed to avoid my problems further and depress myself even more. But recently, I decided to address the issue after realizing how stupid I was acting. I told her I still had feelings for her. But she had 'let go' as she put it and isn't seeking a relationship right now, though admits she actively flirts with others and has sexted/kissed others. I tried resparking things naturally, I've tried talking it out, but she talked to me like a therapist would (ex: I'm sorry you feel that way, that type of non confrontational speaking style). I reached my wits and and we had a long argument that ended up with me trying to cut contact before things get worse, but she convinced me to be her friend as long as she stopped flirting. A really unhealthy compromise. I realized that and cut contact last week. I'm really sorry to have typed all that out. I guess all i'm really trying to ask is, did I do the right thing? I love this girl and made a ton of mistakes. I only want the best for her and in the past we've had really great times. I've never gone more than a week without texting her before and now i'm doing it intentionally. It doesn't feel right yet i'm enjoying my life again. What am I doing? Is it right?
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