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About Boughtandpaidfor

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  1. That's a very overwhelming thought to be carrying around. I can relate as I am approaching a (somewhat later) milestone. I have been working on having a dream of where I want to be in five years, then I start to break down the massiveness of it and start to look at little steps towards the future. Otherwise I have to go lie down.
  2. The important thing is that when we suffer from a trauma, it will often keep replaying in our heads. We will start to think of 'what ifs' and the frustrations of what has been done to us. We'll get frustrated and angry and beat ourselves up. 'I should have been stronger', 'I deserve this', 'If only I had...'. This ability to reflect is a great skill. The struggle is to turn it into an ally rather than a demon. We have our weaknesses, and our strengths. There is a tendency to get caught up in the negative. But really we have a lot to offer. Everyone does. I may be projecting, but when I
  3. Hi there, So many book recommendations out there, and also so many books I've read and not related to. I'm interested to here what books people turn to when they need to get out of depression. It doesn't have to be a book about getting out of depression! I just looking for the things that really work. Many thanks
  4. Why not get a motorcycle license. Then you can get a car license later.
  5. Therapist apologised . Which was bizarre. I didn't know how to respond. Then we discussed how I didn't feel I had to the right to be angry or have an opinion in relation to conflict like that, because I didn't trust my perception. And therapist said I had every right to have needs and to have them met. The most difficult conversation was my fear that the therapist had done it on purpose as some kind of technique, as that would really be a deal breaker for me. But that was more a figment of my imagination that had taken hold during the week. We didn't discuss whether or not my percep
  6. Update: We talked about it. It was a really helpful process. Of seeing how I struggle to deal with anger that I don't feel is going to be heard. Was well worth bringing it up and taking it into that space. Felt like a very difficult session but very worthwhile in the end.
  7. Well... erm.... a cult. I was involved in a group that would deliberately miscommunicate and play good-cop/bad cop games. I was given a task to do and then that task was made impossible on purpose. When you try to complain, you're told you have an attitude problem ("Everyone else is on board, what's your problem?"). In the bubble of the isolated center I was in, I started to lose my (already wobbly) marbles. The end-game is that you have a psychological collapse, which is framed as "surrendering to God", and you become compliant... It's more common than you think. But people who are alread
  8. I'm pretty sure we have an adult-enough relationship that my therapist would just communicate that to me directly, rather than play any kind of headgame. But I was worried there for a moment!
  9. Is that something a therapist would do? As I have previous experience with game-playing spiritual groups, I hate it when people use psychological techniques on me... I can't imagine it's true in this case as my therapist knows all about that.
  10. Hi there, I went to my therapist last week and she seemed really distant- I felt like I was talking to myself. We normally have a good relationship. I didn't say anything about it. But after the therapy I felt super angry about it, and I really wanted to talk to someone about it, but that person is normally my therapist! So I have another week to wait, but it really shocked me. I guess I'm really vulnerable at the moment and I wonder if: a. I was just in a sensitive space b. even therapists have bad days I know I can bring anything to the session that I need to... but I guess
  11. Sideways references about things I've said to other people. Referring to things that I haven't said directly to them.
  12. Hi all, So here's the scenario: I was in a group of people. And these people started talking *about* me, rather than talking *to* me. EXAMPLE: I tell someone I'm upset about something. (I don't open up to them anymore, but I tried to make friends in the beginning). A few days later, other people allude to what I said, but in a demeaning/sideways/teasing way that I can't directly respond to. They all know each other better than me. But I got annoyed about it and complained about their gossiping. Their response was to increase the gossiping. At first they would say things like "Why
  13. You could go full comedy and get your whole family to act like methheads: "Here's my dad with his favourite pipe".
  14. Please edit with paragraphs. This is unreadable.
  15. Yup. Agreed. Are you clear why you're upset though? Because it doesn't sound the guy is actually a threat. It's more that your girlfriend is not acting well in the situation. 'Stringing along' like Wiseman said.
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