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  1. I know that everyone is different and what may be forgivable to one may not be forgivable to the another, But I am curious what things do you think are forgivable (whether that forgiveness comes right away or takes time) or is just so bad that no time can mend the wound, I recently lost a friend, I lost her for basically two reasons I overdid it and sent two many messages and texts and she blocked me, That may or may not be unforgivable, What I do think is unforgivable however is what I did AFTER that I was desperate to move on but I just had to make sure she at least saw a letter I wrote so
  2. ppp86

    Trust issues

    Hi I am looking for some advice possibly from someone who is in or has been in a similar situation to me in the past. I have been with my partner for 3 years and our life is almost perfect apart from one niggling matter that comes up alot when we have a drink.. mostly on my part. a year ago i found out he had been messaging a girl from his past behind my back, telling her she looked amazing etc. i believe thats all it was as he has promised me this. and to most people i guess this is nothing to worry about. but i do. all the time. before i met my oh i was in a relationship for 10 years w
  3. Hi all, How can I move forward from this? Has anyone gone through something similar - do depressed people come back to you if they get their head straight? My boyfriend left me recently. He has been through a lot of trauma in life, and I always knew that his self esteem was extremely low and that he had that type of personality where he didn’t feel like he deserved help or support from anyone. He tried his hardest to open up to me, and he did open up a lot, but I could also tell he was holding back a lot and putting on a brave face. He was always used to facing life alone. Lately life
  4. Hello all. 36 yo guy here. I've been seeing another bi guy for 3 years. The last few weeks he started seeing this girl and i quickly felt him phasing me out. He promised he would not phase me out. We've been going over this for a week. This morning i confessed my deep seated fear that every guy i know will eventually choose a girl over me, but that I was trusting him because he promised me i wasn't being replaced. He invited me over today, and his new girl showed up. He told me to leave so he could spend the night with her. He literally chose someone else right in front of me.
  5. Sorry guys it's me again. You can read my old posts to see how much of a mess I am. I don't even mean to get into these situations. It's my friend again. We didn't talk for months, because of something stupid. I didn't block him, but I erased his number and unfriended, just to let myself get over him. But he's back, again, and for a few weeks, I was doing really well staying indifferent. I didn't text him or call him, if he texted, I would answer, but you know, I wasn't like I usually am. I did so good for awhile. And even now, I still have my guard up, but it's getting really har
  6. About a year ago I moved out of my aunts house. We agreed to go half on the rent but because of COVID I haven’t been able to get back on my feet as promised. I get unemployment but that pays for my needs and nothing else. My aunt offered a place that she owns worth my half of the rent but I’m reluctant to go because she’s known to break boundaries. Even in the place I have now she pops up without calling even though I’ve told her more than twice not to. My fear is that I’ll get over there and she’ll be doing that AND more because now she’ll have a key. Also I have a mentally ill uncle th
  7. Hey everyone, I am currently job-seeking and have two offers. In terms of duties, leave, and possible career progression, I believe both offers to be equivalent. The differences are: Job A Significantly higher salary Long commute (45m)(the salary difference is mor than the additional cost) Larger organisation, hiring because of growth Employer is New Zealander (For context, I live in Japan and have limited Japanese ability. My current and previous employer were Japanese with no major issues, although cultural understandings around work are different) Employer has been a
  8. Hi Everyone, So my GF broke up with me 4 months ago now. She said we're both very young (20) and she was overwhelmed by how serious it was + not experiencing life independently yet (we'd been together since school). For the last 4 months we've been in limbo, seeing each other most weeks, sharing a bed, kissing etc. but none of it has worked and we're still not together. I said last week that i'd had enough and i wanted to do NoContact until she comes to a realisation/ decision about our relationship or I am comfortable seeing her solely as a friend (and not trying to win her back like i
  9. My story is about long distance relationship (LDR) start from i've been oversea (travel alone). And I met this guy on the street and he came to talk to me. Then, he took me to many places and he is really polite and romantic person (make me feel like I'm a princess) like he bought necklace with his name and gave to me to remember him when we apart, gave me rose, asked DJ to sang a song for me, we always hold hands. He asked to spent overnight with me, but I refused (we kissed and hugs). On the last day, I saw he was crying and he told me that our relationship won't end here. So, I gave him my
  10. My so and I dated around 1 year before going long distance. I moved to another state for my job for about 4 years. Until now, we have date a total of 2 years: 1 local and 1 ldr. We didnt really discussed about ldr before I go since we didin’t know what we wanted at that time. However, we both gave our relationship a chance. Ldr was extremely hard. While I felt okay doing that, he constantly felt lonely and sad. I once suggested he could go out for hook up if he wanted because he has high sex drive. We broke up about 3 months in our ldr. At that point, i have already booked the ticket back to s
  11. Hi everyone, Need some help with this. What are your views on this? Need some dissection. Burning slow because I let it go; the unselfish darkness devours me within; for a promise 'not to come back', my pain paints pictures...
  12. Long story short: We have been together for two years and a half. I met him when I moved to Bologna, Italy from Seattle. First year in Bologna, second year in Milan since the art school in Bologna never picked up my call (it's normal there). I chose Milan to stay closer to him instead of New York. He has never talked about moving to Milan when I was there, and 1.5 years later, my residential permit was expired, he didn't want to help me and go with the idea of marriage, so I left. Before my departure, he made a promise that he would find a way to move to the States to be with me since he reali
  13. Hi everyone. My ex (23 M) and I (21 F) have had serious issues in our relationship that never seemed to be making any progress and for that reason I dumped him and we have been broken up for over a month now. I have posted on this forum about our issues before, so little back story: https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=561671 Tl;dr version: I hooked up with someone a few times during the “talking stage” with my ex. He found out a few months later when we became a couple and has verbally/emotionally abused me for more than half a year over the same issue. Fast forward to now,
  14. Me and my bf have been together for 5 years. He is a reay great guy and loves me a lot.He cheated on me once with my close friend where they exchanged texts for a few months... But he felt v.guilty came clean to me... After lots of fights and time... I forgave him... Its been 4 years now and he has always been extremely truthful and goes out of the way to make me happy... But two days ago he has a beer. He promised he will never consume alcohol and even if he did,he would tell me...He dint tell me and told mr only because he got sick. I feel so betrayed again... He said he was forced to take a
  15. hello, i'm [21] and she's [23] We've been dating for 3 years, we've always loved each other and been happy together. My gf however has depression and struggles with insecurity, low self-esteem. I try to be as positive as I can when I'm around her. ​ Recently she got a fulltime job and is training away for 2 months. The first 3 weeks she kept telling me she's lonely and isn't making any friends and during that time I tried my best to talk to her constantly through text, calls, etc... ​ On the 4th week suddenly she made new friends and started texting me significantly less (We tex
  16. Hi friends. I'm struggling with whether or not I should respond to a text from my ex. I'm hoping that maybe writing my thoughts and getting some feedback might help me feel more confident in my decision. We are both late 20s/early-30s, broke up a little over a month ago and I have been NC since we sorted out exchanging stuff a few days later. During the break-up I did my best to be calm and agree with her decision, even to be positive and crack a few jokes ("Next time try to fall in love with someone who lives nearby!" As part of that, she had asked if I still wanted to talk or just be lef
  17. Thank you for reading this but I need your wisdom and help, please. She was the dumper after 7 years together. We broke up last year. We both had good and bad days but we could not let go each other. We were mostly mad every time we were in contact someone was yelling and crying. Last week we had a fight, she stated all my faults and reasons why she doesn't want to be with me, I lost my temper and she hang up the phone. Few days passed by and she sent me a message: Her: I hear you too. Forgive me too. I hug you and your whole family. We will meet some day and look at each other in the eyes. S
  18. Ok, so I'm fully expecting some judgey comments. Given my situation, I think it's understandable. I'm posting on here to save me making everything worse than it already is by texting him. My bf and I had split up about 3 months ago and then he came crawling back promising to make it all better. I decided to give it another go and we have been happy the last couple of months. I have been frustrated because he doesn't seem to want to give me the commitment that he'd promised me, but I've bottled it up and kept it to myself. Bad idea probably. I'm studying for a degree alongside my day
  19. Bah. Isn't it frustrating how you can't really stop a woman on the street and ask her out without ever having really spoken? There's a lovely woman around my way who I've passed a few times. She works in the local cake shop, she's foreign, has rubbish English. No ring on finger. Seems, well, a little shy I guess. Not going to talk to her in work, she has her superiors watching. Not going to stop her on the street. She doesn't know me. Apart from having clocked me a few times passing each other in the street. She gave me a smile once. She really gives me the hots, forgive my lang
  20. I've been talking with a guy for about a week which may not seem to the average person but I feel that as if we've connected in a way I can't explain as we started talking because we have had similar situations that we've been through and unusual topics such as cosmic and spirituality. He lives in Scotland but we've become closer than we were a week ago believe it or not but he's said to me once or twice that if I needed him here physically he'd come and promises that, I see it as big but I don't know what to think of it??? Also there was a day when we didn't chat because I went away somewhere
  21. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 5 months and everything has been great until this last month. I went to my best friends house for three days just to have some girl time. Well while I was there my boyfriend did a disappearing act and got his whole family to lie to me about where he was. I was freaking out because I was worried something bad happened to him. I asked all his family members that lived at the house with us and they all lied and said they didn't know where he was. My boyfriend even told me he asked them all not to tell me where he was. Turns out he was at a friends h
  22. I'm soooo depressed. I eat constantly. I go to the vending machine constantly at work, like a robot. I eat absent-mindedly. It's not even about the food or weight anymore. I'm just really unhappy. I frequently have to blink back tears while sitting at my computer at work. My boyfriend may be away for a year and a half. He doesn't want me to come and live where he is. And he keeps saying that he'll come up here "soon". But he period of time that he'll be away keeps increasing. I feel so rejected. I'm just not where I want to be at all. And I d
  23. My partner and I are having a baby this spring. It was a planned pregnancy. I have never felt "traditional" about marraige and all that because of my own family history. We wanted to have a child together, but to be honest, a wedding takes alot more work than making a baby, so we decided to do that part when later on and focus on our family. We are technically married under the law, but of course have not walked down the aisle and all that crap. Usually I could really care less about the traditional wedding/marraige. But my partner is a little more traditional. He got me all convinced that
  24. So this is pretty hard for me to admit, but I think that I'm in a codependent, toxic relationship. I've been with my girlfriend for a couple of years, and she's always been depressed, but it's been getting worse. She often tries to quell the feelings with alcohol, which has led to numerous problems as well in the past. In the past, she's wet the bed, herself, and even in a car. I don't want to say it happens often but it happens often enough for it to be an issue (maybe once every few months). The other day, she borrowed my car, and returned and when she came back, she was drunk althoug
  25. I've been with my partner for 2 and a bit years. He likes a drink socially, we both do if we're chillen with friends or having a night out with a group and so on, the usual. When he gets to a certain point he completely changes, he is angry, wants to fight someone and there is almost no calming him down. He's just so messy, falling all over the place etc. He isn't violent with me, one night he pushed me out of the way though when I was trying to stop him from revving the hell out of his harley bike at 2am in our back yard. I fell into the shelves in the shed and had a big bruise on my arm the
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