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About Me

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  1. This weekend a friend and i got drunk ... we are both males and are not gay... as far as we know we got really drunk and decided to go off in diffrent rooms and masterbate... one thing lead to another and we both end up giving each other blow jobs... does this make us what? we both have had girl friends in the past and never usally practice any of this after it was done we realized what we did we talked about it a little bit... and both said we would never speak of this again and coldn't believe what had just happened.... what do i do... now it is kinda of hard talking to him and kinda not are we gay bi or just drunk... doing dumb stuff? -Samsung
  2. I have been dating someone for the past 5 months. We've been through problems, fights, and everything regarding my past. Time and time again we get out of it. There was a time, 2 weeks after we met, when we weren't talking to each other. I went to a club that night adn slept over a guy's house(im gay and im a guy btw). I slept over "Jack"s place. We didn't do anything and I just needed a place to spend the night cuz the club closes at 3:00 a.m. I told "Kirk" this but, he doesnt believe me somehow he can't seem to let go till he has spoken or talked to Jack himself. I don't know where Jack is cuz he left the town and dont know any contact info on him. I was thinking of doing a "test" dump with kirk to see if he does love me. What do you guys think of this? What should i do? I just need input from different people
  3. I am not gay so I want to ask something of people who are homosexual. Many straight people I know are very much repulsed by a homosexual "checking them out." This is natural and expected, since they are attracted to someone of the opposite sex, not the same sex. But for people who are homosexual, say there is a guy who likes another guy (he is gay). What if a girl started checking out the gay guy-WOuld you feel repulsed in the same way a hetrosexual would if a homosexual checked them out? I am straight and don't like gay men checking me out, so if i was gay, i wouldn't want straight women checking me out? Can someone help with this? Like is it the same for homosexuals as for hetrosexuals?
  4. I have been in a relationship for 6-years & we live together. (I am 30) I have been miserable now for 5 years. I don't feel like the relationship is working. She loves me, but I just don't have those same feelings. I have not touched her (meaning sex, kissing) in 5 years. (She wants to have sex but I dont) I fight with her over insignificant things. I have been fantisizing about other woman (noone inparticular, just ones I make up in my head). I just feel like she is controlling. I have no friends. I used to have friends, but they are all gone. I am living a miserable existence. I tell her I need some gay friends & losing weight, but she gets jealous & mad. Saying that I am going to meet someone else & leave her when I lose weight, etc. If I am on the phone or receive a phone call she "jokes" that I am talking to my gf. I have no life. I can't go anywhere alone without her being with me. We don't go out b/c it is a miserable experience. If I talk to other people at a bar (women) she gets upset & starts fighting with me. When I take a day off from work she does to. Isnt it enough that we ar together 24 hrs a day 7 days a week. I need some free time. I want to see other people. I want to know what it is like to be in love. I can't take it anymore. My self-esteem is so low. I am afraid of leaving her. Afraid that I won't meet anyone else. Afraid that I will be alone. I feel old. I feel ugly. I have put on so much weight b/c I am depressed all of the time. I am not blaming her for these issues. She is a great person. I love her like I would love my sister & that is all. I just dont want to be intimate with her b/c I am unattracted to her. I am afraid to break it off. Thinking that I am making a huge mistake. I am posting here b/c I have noone to talk to about this. No friends. My family doesnt know I am gay.
  5. If you are homosexual how do you know? Could you think you are strait but then start to think you are gay? Or do you pretty much know your whole life? Thanks. -Logan
  6. I need help! I was snooping at my boyfriends house today (we are both professionals in our 30's) and I found several pair of womens underwear with stains in them that look like a man had worn them. I also found a box with womens clothes, make-up, and sex toys. In addition, I got on to his internet and found where he had been surfing sites about transvestities, gay and anal things. What should I do...is he gay?? bi???
  7. For those women who have been with guys that later confessed they were really gay, what were the signs? How do you know if the guy you are with is? i know this is a general vague question, but there might be valid signs that i never saw before that i should be seeing.
  8. im so confussed i came out with being by to my friends last year and they made a big deal out of it it got me so upset but now they still go on about. one of them keeps saying how do u know ur bi as uve never had a relationship with a boy and know thinking the same what am i ment to do i dont kno any gay men!! all ikno is i look at men the same way as girls but how can i be sure??
  9. Hi there, i am a closeted gay man, i have been in love with my best mate since he and i were in the final year of school. He has been a fantastic friend to me over the last 12 years, through the ups and lows of life. He is very attractive and hence has had a string of girlfriends in all those years. his current girlfried have been for the past 4 years and looks serious, she and i are also great friends now as well. the three of us see each other most nights and weekends. I have a big groups of fantastic friends (none of which know im gay) But i feel more in love with my best mate now than ever. Im finding it harder and harded to deal with and really dont know what to do... he is clearly straight andobviously has no idea about me... Has anyone else been in a similar situation and if so what did you do, or has anyone got any advice they might be able to offer me? thanks
  10. ok this is how it is. i hate male homosexuality and i condem it when i can and im very good at it. i consider it a disease. no offense to gay folks i like the guys, i hate the act. but just recently, i realized i am hook on lesbian porn. now i know this sounds weired. are there any guys out there that feel the same way. i need help. i thought a am supposed to hate homosexuality accross the sexes. both gay and lesbians. help.
  11. first of all, I would like to apologise if this topic sounds corny, I know this is an never ending problem faced by alot of gay people and I just happen to be one of them. I am 24 years old engineering senior, I consider myself good looking as I have been getting compliments. All this while i am hiding my identity in closet , I am very discreet and never had any relationship before. recently, I am seeing one guy in my class, we are taking the same class with the same lab, I am not just someone who falls in and out of love easily, but this dude is really driving me nuts. it all started during early january 2005, I met him in a lab, he was sitting right accross me and I always caught him staring at me and when i looked back he turned away. It happened so many times until one day we were told to switch seats, coincidentlly, he sat next to me, we started talking after that, we became friend and he even sits next to me during the lecture. It seems to me that there was an instant hit off- i might be wrong - but I could sense that I am getting his attention all the time, Sometimes I can sense that he is looking at me while I was talking to other people. Well, the problem is I am not sure if he is gay or not, altho alot of his previous behavior may suggest he would be quite the cliche expected. Ever since that day, our friendship took a step closer from just pure acquaintanceship. His natural loquaciousness makes him a chatterbox, we talk about alot of things, including girls, sports, life etc. Sometimes it makes me wonder if I would like to move a step closer to him, he can be so nice to talk to. there was once when we were on the phone, he suddenly asked me how did i do on my test which i dont even remember. everything seems to fine, until one day i realise i have fallen in love with him, I love to be with him all the time but I know it sounds gay to alot of straight guy- if he is straight. He often talks about how hot some sorority girls can be, he told me he has been single for the past 3 years since high school, this makes me wonder if he is really straight? we spent more time together recently as he told me to keep him companied in library till midnight as we were having exam. i turned him down as i didnt wanna make it look so gay. I know i have turned down a great opportunity to be with him. I guess the reason I did what I did because I was afraid I would be getting false signal again, So I took a girl friend- jenn with me that night and we sat right behind him. jenn and me were making laughter during the study session and I noticed that he would turned his head back and looked at me and wondering what we were talking about. See, I am really wondering If I am getting false/mixed signals or I am seeing things in a way I want to see? Please help me, i dont know how to deal with him anymore!!
  12. I have a male friend who identifies himself as gay (not bi, not bi-curious). Before he said anything, I really believed that he was interested in me romantically, although i never ruled out the posibility that he were gay or bi. We have spent some time alone, been incredibly affectionate (how ever no kissing no sex) and there are just some things he says that confuse me. Im incredibly attracted to him, and I don't believe I am thinking wishfully, that there might be something there for him too. Is there any way to tactfully approach this subject? Is there any way to know if he is bi-curious, or just being sweet?
  13. My friend spent the night at my house and we were just messing around all day having fun blah blah. We got home from basketball practice and played a game of charades with my parents and then they went to bed. Me and my friend stayed up and got on the computer and we looked at a little bit of porn but got bored with it.... so we made a deal that we would both go lay under the covers on a separate couch and masturbate without eachother seeing eachother. Then we were talking while doing it and we were wondering who had the biggest penis and I said I'd show him if he would, but he didn't want to show his (he wont take his shirt off or socks or anything so i didnt expect him to). he told me come over here and show me, and i set beside him and after about 5 minutes finally pulled it out and then I started masturbating in front of him and he watched me. He kept doing it to but he stayed under the covers. He touched my penis with his foot 2 times because I told him to, that i didnt care. I liked it and he was laughing about it. We talked about it later and he said it was cool and I could do it again, I wanted him to show to, I am not gay but I feel like I want to compare and masturbate with him, it seems like fun. I asked him if he wanted to do it any at all when I did and he said "yeah.. i wanted to really bad for a minute .. until i came" What do you all think? do you think he wil eventually do it in front of me If i keep doing it in front of him or what?
  14. Hey guys I don't really know if I have any question, but I guess I'm just so stuffed with everything that I had to put it in writing in the hope that something will make any sense. I'm not the friendly person. I'm just horribly shy and find it hard to make contact with people. However, once I do make contact, I've got no problems and most people actually tend to like my company. I've had a really rough year in college on 2002, and I dropped out after failing, which is something that never happened to me before. Apart from 2 people, I wasn't able to make friends with anyone, and I felt extremely outcasted and down. Few months ago I met this really cool girl (18yo). I've got to know her on the net, and since we've met back then, we see each other almost every week. Things were going pretty well between us (on all levels) and I felt pretty confident in myself. However, all along this time, and up until now, I feel like that girl is trying to keep me as far as possible from her life. I've never been in her house (except for one morning when her family was out). She call me her 'friend' in front of her girl-friends, and even when people ask her about some stuff that I gave her she says that 'a friend of mine gave it to me'. I guess I could go on living with that. At least for a while. However, two months ago she started saying (only to me..) that she things that I'm gay. Ever-since, we almost didn't do any.. erm.. physical stuff, and she also stopped saying that she loves me, something she used to say pretty much a lot. I'm not gay. I'm 1000000% sure of that. The idea of being with another guy simply disgust me (no offense to gay people.. it's your right, but not my taste), and I'm also sure what turns me on.. For now, I keep living with this.. but I don't know if this is the best thing to do. I'm fooling myself. I'm fully aware of that. I don't know if I'm fooling her, since she treats me more like her 'gay-male-friend' and not boyfriend. Oh, and also.. my father is cheating on my mother with no less than 2 other women (that's not a joke.. not at all..) and I decided not to get involved.. it's their business. Hey.. at least I'm good at lying to myself.. that's something good, isn't?
  15. I have a friend that is one of those people you can't tell what he likes. I have noticed that he has no problem with gay people, but he wont tell me if he likes girls or boys....
  16. Just because i have not done one thing with a girl in my whole life maybe just ne kiss in some stupid truth or dare game but i dont consider that anything at all.Why do i get called gay for being 17 and not having done anything with a girl in my life or never having one....That doesnt make me gay im just ugly and too ignorant for girls and getting farther and farther behind too catch up.i admit im more ignorant then 13 year old boys with girls and yes i know its pathetic but im ugly....Its these people that like to drag me back down into a good thing we liek to call suicide although im too high above that right now.But one big thing could probably send me off again and i dont like it.This is why i care about wanting a gf and stuff when girls always ask me.Theres something in my mind that tells me i need a gf and says if i dont get one im pathetic.I mena im even put down my peers and called gay if i dont have one...Just called a stupid sexually ignorent fool by some guys and girls.....It might just be better if id die in my sleep and never woke up or thought again....
  17. hello everybody, im new here and this is going to be my first post. i was just curious. do all girls think of touching or having sex with other girls? im thinking, if i were a girl id probably be gay. maybe its cos im a guy. waiting for your replies.
  18. um......... well i have abf and all, and i really do like him alot....... but i've been having these feelings for someone else....... a girl..... but im not sure what to do....... i've only been going out with this gyu for like 1.5 weeks....... and i think he really likes me....... and this girl is straight, and i don't want to ruin our friendship at all..... she's one of my best friends ever...... and im lucky to have a friend........ let alone a best friend...... so i donno if i should tell her, or break up with my bf....... maybe just ask her if it would be weird between us if i was lesbian....... i donno whta to do i like both of them alot! and i don't want to ruin our friendship, or be treated weirdly by others for being gay....... im scared of the outcome..... but i really want my friend to know i like her! i donno.... im rambling on...... any advice please!! would be helpful...... just keep in mind im 14 years old , but i go to a school full of gay people....... they're just almost all guys! ahhhhhhh!! arg! help.........
  19. Hi there, I posted this on an old thread but had no replies. Just need some help with this. 2 weeks ago now my boyfriend of 2 and a half years split up with me because he's sexually confused. I cried for three days solid and thought that the pain would never end. I had begged him for hours to try and make it work before I managed to drag the truth out of him. It's just sad. I know that 'm lucky that this didn't happen 20 years down the line. I'm very much in love with him & he said that he still is in love with me and that he never stopped finding me attractive, but had felt so guilty when he had these feelings that he couldn't go on being with me. Despite all of this pain - I agree. He has to work it out on his own. And there is no chance of us ever getting back together. I feel like my other half has been ripped away though, he's my best friend and i'll just have to live with that. My head tells me that I'll be ok, I'll eventually meet someone else - but I hurt so much all the time. Crying in the street is not cool. The saying 'If you love someone, set them free' becomes more relevant than ever. I know I'm not the only one who has gone through this and I hope there's someone out there who is going through the same. Please contact me someone. Thanks, BunnyX
  20. nothing is right I dont feel like a boy I always feel like I should have been a girl I always want to act feminine and hang out with other girls but I cant I would look gay and weird I know this happens to other people but I dont know what to do I think about it every minute of my life and at some time I have even gotten suicidal I once told my dad and he said it was a phase but I felt this way since I was little I always wanted to grow my hair long and stuff I know I can "change" but I am only 13 I cant take hormones or anything and even if I did I would never be able to see any of my friends again life would never be normal Everyday I feel a little bit worse and I have no idea of what I can do I want to wear girls clothes and be a girl This took alot of courage to say but I cant hold it in any longer I just cant stand any of this any longer I felt wrong my whole life
  21. I've been living with my boyfriend who I like a lot (love) for about the last seven months. I really like him and I think he's really cute. But I've always struggled with feelings for women that until recently I've never been to comfortable to admit. I know people often assume I'm gay, because I used to be a semi-pro athlete and there are a lot of lesbians in my sport. Even my boyfriend when we first got together told me that he thought for the longest time I was gay. I like going out to bars and sometimes I do get a little loaded. I went out the other night with a friend from my work and I guess I admitted I was attracted to her or even made a move on her - I honestly am not sure. She is gay and she has been askng me about every since. I made the mistake of telling my boyfriend about it, and I thought he would be supportive. But instead he said "I always wondered if you were, and I'm not surprised by this." We have sort of cooled off a little since then, which totally upsets me, because I don't want to lose him. But I can't stop thinking about if it's true. In the meantime, my co-worker friend keeps saying that my boyfriend is the perfect person for someone who can't come out, because technically speaking he's still married, so there's no real possibility of getting seriously involved with him. I just don;t know what to do. I don;t want to lose my boyfriend but he says he feels somewhat deceived by me. I'm not sure if I'm ready to be gay or if I even want to!
  22. I am down so low at the moment. I need to blurt this out and maybe get some sort of catharsis and adice from it all. I have been with my partner for 6 months now and have to say he is the love of my life. We only see each other at the weekends owing to the fact that we have different work locations. However, we are in regular contact every day on the phone, SMS and email. My partner told me that he before having met me he was quite actively involved in the gay scene. The usual one night stands and all those stereotypes which come to mind when thinking of the gay scene. Although I didn't put any pressure on him he said that he was giving it all up since he had met his soul-mate. (I on the other hand have always been non-scene and non-active I suppose and had been living quite a celibate life until meeting him). Things went blissfully well and then about 3 months into the relationship I saw some scratch marks on his back which frigged me up. However, I kept it in and I suppose went into denial since I thought that if I brought it up it would spell the end of everything. Also, maybe it was self-inflicted I thought. Some of us do have sensitie skin and do scratch ourselves unwittingly especially when we are perspiring. SO things went on and then I noticed again some marks on his shoulder a few weeks later. Again I played the ostrich and thought that if I brought it up it would seal my fate and that I would be left. yes, my biggest fear like many is being left. I would be crushed if he left. A lot maybe stems from never having been in a long relationship before and when Mr. Right came along I was swept off my feet. Well, a month or so elapsed and my partner left to return to his native country for his annual vacation. We are both in this country as expatriate workers. When he was away, I decided that when he came back I would bring up the issue of the scratches. He came back and things went so well for the first couple of weeks. I thought I woud jeopardize our relationship if I brought this up so I left it to fester. Then about 2 weeks ago I checked in his mailbox (he gave me the password of a shared folder account some time ago which enabled us to share things. However, I opened up his email account by mistake and found a few messages which tore my heart to shreds. He had been in touch with online buddies and had exchanged explicit sexual information as well as photos and cell numbers. One of his buddies had phoned him and was asking when they could meet. 1 week ago I finally blurted out to my partner about how I thought we we in a monogamous relationship and that I couldnt afford to share him with anyone. He listened calmly and didn't ask what the base of my allegations were, but told me to write it down. The following day he sent me an email teling me that he wasnt sure what the base of my allegations were but that if it were his cyber activities that I was already aware that he went online to just see what was happening these days. I knew that he was clicking on certain websites but I wsnt that suspicious since he told me sometimes. in his email he informed me that he had communicated with some guys but that they had never met. it was all harmless fun. Then he proceeded to tell me that he was going to deactivate his profiles at various sites. I ws hysterical for a few days and then I eventually penned my thoughts about everything: the scratch marks, my going into his email (yes, there is a qestion of me violating his trust and snooping). I said it was not about blaming but that I was spelling out the facts and that I needed to address the issue because if I kept internalizing things it would destroy me.He got all this yesterday. I have emailed him saying that I will give him time to digest everything. I do not want it to end and will be crushed if it does. I am not sure how he will respond. I know I am guilty of snoopping and I am sure he is going to inform me that my jealous side is ruining things. (I am extremely and possessive and told him so from day one. However, I have worked at it and have been more or less sucessful in giving him space. At the beginning I used to freak out if he didnt answer my calls or messages and all sorts of phantoms came up ie he is with his old pre-me friends fooling around. Just now as I am writing I got a reply to my email that he would get back to me when he "MAKES SENSE OF HIS DECISION". I really want to phone him (we havent spoken since I spewed it out). It is so hard not to. We used to speak every day for hours on the phone. I am thinking he is thinking I am an overanalytical-pscho-control-freak-jealous nut. I really can be deep at times and he sometimes told me to be less intense. I know this has been long-winded and there is more to write, but I don't have anyone to talk to about this issue, so maybe some kind soul can make sense of all this dribble and take time to write me a few words. How long should I wait if he doesnt contact me? Thank you for laboring over this.
  23. uhm its kinda hard to say. just for the record though i am a guy and i am not gay. i am just meaning this as a friend to friend. well its hard to distinguish if my friend really wants to be my friend. see he moved here back in like december and i met him shortly after in one of my classes. i got his number some day (dont remember the reason) and on the superbowl i called him to see if i could go over for to watch the game coz my family left. wel thats when we really started to hang out. we still hang out lots only it doesnt seem like he cares if he's around. he says he'll call and see what im doin that night but alwayz "forgets" i know he's gotta like me as a friend sumwat because we do almost everything together. only he acts a little different. i know im not as bad as sum of the ppl he hangs out with kuz he tells me lots about them and doesnt hang out with them much. i was just curious(ill type more upon request) if you could help me. he really is like the only person i hang with. we talk about literally everything....from girls to drinkin to how many movies ive never seen lol anywayz any help is appreciated
  24. My school doesnt have a GSA and I think it is totally ridiculous so to start it, some friends of mine and I are doing the day of silence on April 13, 2005. We dont quite know how the administration will react. We will safty pin the following paragraph to our clothes and hand them out as well... it's the official National Day of Silence "Flyer" to hand out Please understand my reasons for not speaking today. I support lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender rights. People who are silent today believe that laws and attitudes should be inclusive of people of all sexual orientations and gender identities. The day of silence is to draw attention to those who have been silenced by hatred, oppression, and prejudice. Think about the voices you are not hearing. What can you do to end the silence? Next year it's going to be HUGE, well big atleast. Because next year we will have a GSA because of me. I will make them!!! Uhh yeah I dont know why I'm posting this. Pretty much to let people also have the opportunity to Participate in the NDOS
  25. okay, here goes. I promised never to be a burden on this forum but i need to vent, as nobody else i know shares my opinion and thereforeeee will probably not listen or care. Being gay sucks! Here is the problem. First, you realise you have same sex attractions. You deal with the confusion in your head. Then you realise you must tell someone or align yourself with gay people somehow to make the pain go away, or to at least reach some understanding. So you do this. Okay, I'll cut to the chase. The only options available to me to meet other gay people is in nightclubs and inside nightclubs the only thing that goes on is drug taking and alcohol consumption. Now don't get me wrong, i don't mind the occasional drink, but i am not into the drugs. People talk about lonliness but i don't think they have an edge on me. I actually work in gay nightclubs so i get to see all of this first hand. I am surrounded by people every weekend and still, i cannot find one SINGLE person i want to get to know or even have a relationship with, which makes matters even worse. It is like 'life' laughing in my face. On the outside i look like a friendly person, probably with no problems (everybody thinks i am perfect and together, but i am not)... It is just so torterous for me because soon i will be leaving that industry to go and work in a normal position and i am worried i will never meet another gay person for the rest of my life. I don't want to end up alone and i am too old to go out clubbing, so i feel really aweful. What do i do? There are no really good personals sites in Australia you can advertise with... I just don't know how i am going to live a normal life and fulfil the dream i always had of having a family and a good relationship, cos right now, that dream couldn't be further away. I have let go of the notion of having children, i am almost too old, but the relationship would be good. It just seems like being gay is a constant battle uphill, which doesn't get any better. Sorry to vent, but i just had to have my say. It's a f***ed up life and i wish i was heterosexual sometimes. Oh well, at least i've put my misery out there. It might actually do me some good.
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