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About Me

  1. I was out with my friends at a gay bar in my hometown in California, A super cute boy approached me and asked to dance. We kissed and exchanged social media and left. He was from a different state about 600 miles away, and he was just visiting for the weekend. He asked if he could take me out on a date and I said I would love that. We met on a Saturday and planned our date for Monday but we ended up going back to the same bar and seeing each other again the next day on Saturday. We spent the whole night together, dancing, kissing and flirting. We went our separate ways, he was staying with a friend and I was staying with my parents (we are both 21 and In college). The next day we had our date and I picked him up and took him to a pretty spot on the beach and we had a great time, we ended the night with some of my friends at my friends apartment because it was near where he was staying. We planned on seeing eachother one more time before he left, I was going to take him to the airport. I picked him up for the airport at 7:30 AM and we got coffee and cuddled in my car and kissed again before he left. We made plans to see eachother again, he wanted me to come with him to Hawaii, Coachella, New York all this! We kept talking on snapchat for a week and a half after he left, flirting and giving eachother compliments, asking about eachothers day and everything. Then, one day two weeks into talking, everything just changed. He became super dry, stopped asking about my day and giving me compliments. I started getting super insecure, I thought "am I not good enough?" "Did I do something wrong?" "Is this normal for a long distance situationship. I never truly planned on dating him, he lived 600 miles from me, I just wanted him to be someone I can see again when he comes back to California (he says he comes to my hometown every month or so) or maybe travel together with this summer. It seems like he has lost interest, but I might just be overthinking. We still talk, he never leaves me on read, but its just dry. I want to be able to have my hot boy summer, dating around and meeting new boys with no strings attatced (and im not necessarily talking about sex, thats not very important to me)but he is the only boy I am talking to at the moment so he is all I think about. All my friends say I need to give him the same energy he is giving me, but I dont want to lose the possibility of seeing him again. He is so cute, smart, fun and sweet. What should I do?Should I try to plan something for him to come visit or should I let him make the move? Help!!!
  2. I've known him 10 years (knew him before prison). We recently reconnected. He's in prison for a non violent crime (no lectures about him being a 'bad' person pls) and has five more years. For the past year we've been talking he doesn't act sexual or romantic. When he tries it sounds awkward and fake. Whenever I confront him (wudnt a prisoner be horny as h*ll?) he says hes 'scared' to seem like hes just after me for my body. It just doesn't seem normal to me. He's hinted that he got 'VERY' close with his cellmate, and is depressed this guy left, but won't elaborate. He seemed straight when we were together, although he always loved jelly jars in his butt. He says hes a 'dom'. Could he feel emasculated? He does seem depressed and has a lot of health problems (he weighs 450 pounds). Do I just ask outright are you gay? He could just not like me anymore but hes not interested in other women either. I'm slim and cute lol. One reason I ask is I don't want to get HIV when he gets out.
  3. Hi guys, the title tells pretty much what's going on with me. Okay, long story short, I hired this trainer in one of the biggest gyms in here 2 months ago, who I did not find attractive at first. All I wanted from him was his advice on working out. But then, after a few weeks, I started to have feelings for him, partly because of his physical attributes and his adorable personality. I tried my best to keep my feeling inside me and not to show anything in front of him, because I want to keep our relationship professional. However, he did sent me some signals at times, like, he would help me stretch or lift weight in a way that involve body touch (i.e. putting his legs on my lap or sticking his chests on my back), at one time, we had eye contact for a few seconds, although he turned around embarrassedly. He always look at me with a caring smile on his face and put his hand on my shoulder (in a friendly way) etc.... Maybe I misinterpret things (yes, I saw him checked out other girls), or maybe somehow he know that I am gay, so he used my vulnerability to keep me as his client... All I know is, I have this huge crush on him and couldn't get him out of my head. Should I just let him know and get this over with or should I keep hiding it from him? Please help!!
  4. My husband and I have been together 2 1/2 years, we have a beautiful daughter together! I recently caught him pegging himself in our bathroom, which wasn't so surprising to me as he did tell me he did that when we started dating! anyways recently we been getting into arguments because I was being the bread winner when he was making mire money than I was! found out he was doing drugs and that did not sit well with me, we have a 18 month old daughter, and I have 2 boys from my previous marriage! He started segregating himself and locking himself away in the garage/mancave! I started getting suspicious and went through his phone, there were tonnes of gay porn, tranny porns on his devices! there was also gay apps to which he was trying to get hook ups with men! he told them he was a closeted bi looking tor FWB & PNP! I confronted him and he says he has never been with any other than me and that he would never cheat on me! technically he cheated when he started putting himself out there
  5. My wife and I have been married for over a year after dating for two years. We met online and found out we practically lived across the street from each other. We are both mid 30s and don't really have any arguments What are your thoughts here... am I at fault or is this 'normal' and I'm just making a big deal over nothing? So we were just chatting on the couch and she mentioned doing a cycling thing with a (gay) friend of hers. I said it was a little inconsiderate of her to just plan something with him because it has often happened in the past where they go and do their thing and I am lumbered babysitting the gay couple's adopted son. Sometimes this happens with the partner, but often this is just me alone with this kid... and sure, he's a nice kid, but it is the principle that they plan stuff and just assume they'll have a babysitter without asking whether I am ok with it. Anyway, I told her I was upset that she did this again, I wasn't going to be lumbered with babysitting without being asked as I'd made my point clear last time. She told me these were her friends and I wasn't invited. I asked when it was and she told me the date so I looked in our shared calendar and it turns out she had booked FIVE DAYS in Scotland for this event! Not inviting me is one thing, not considering me is another... but not EVEN TELLING ME?! This wasn't her way of telling asking me, this was already done and booked! I told her she was wrong to do that and she just shrugged, hasn't even apologised. I've been working upstairs today when she asked me about lunch and I was a bit distracted. She said "oh you're still in a huff" (words to that effect), and just left... Is this me just being sensitive? ...she did this before to me... she has a female friend that I don't particularly like (sleeps around, a bit immoral) and one day she just says out of the blue "oh Jane is staying over in a few weeks" - our house, again, no discussion or approval.
  6. I've been feeling really confused. I'm 23, female, and recently got out of a relationship with my ex-boyfriend. I truly loved him, and we had a great sex life for about the first year. However, over the last several months I started to have a lot of questions about my sexuality. I fantasized about sex with a woman sometimes while we were having sex, and sometimes while masturbating as well. It impacted our sex life because I started to feel like there is this whole other side of me that I haven't explored and don't understand, and I felt like I needed to explore it. I decided to try to call myself bisexual and see how that felt. Sometimes that felt ok, but then I also began obsessing over the worry that perhaps I'm just gay. Some background; I have anxiety and OCD, and wonder if me obsessing is related to that (HOCD perhaps) or if I'm just blowing up everything in my mind because I've never actually explored being with a woman, so it's all this huge unknown. I know that I have truly enjoyed sex with men in the past, and I've genuinely fallen in love with them. I miss my ex a lot, I still love him even though the relationship ended. I've never had significant feelings for a woman. However, I can't get this fear out of my head that I'm actually just gay or something. I know that I have been experiencing sexual attraction to women. I also know that sexuality if fluid, and perhaps mine is more fluid than others in that I felt very straight for 3 years (from about 19-22). Before that though I did question my sexuality and wondered if I wasn't straight. I always liked men though so it was easy to mostly ignore. Now that all these feelings have come back again I am really confused. I wanted to feel satisfied with my ex, I loved him, but I kept wondering what it would be like to be with a woman. I can't tell if I am just feeling all of this intensified curiosity because I've never been with another woman, or what. I want to learn to accept these feelings in myself. If I was bisexual would it still be normal to feel a need to explore this other side of myself since I have never acted on these thoughts? Any insight or advice would be helpful! :)
  7. A little bit of a backstory, my boyfriend of a year was over and took a shower and I tapped his phone to check the time when I saw he had a message from someone on Kik. Knowing what most people use Kik for I got a bad feeling and decided to go and get my phone and download the app, sync my contacts and boom. Underwear pictures for both his profile and background picture and his username was saying hes a bottom. I obviously get upset but being timid I kinda rush to get him back to his house and talk to him over text (might be weird to some of you but my anxiety will get so bad I legitimately wont be able to speak words). At first he tried to lie and say it was a really old account but I called him out and told him I saw he had notifications from the app. He eventually tells me he was questioning his sexuality and thinks he’s bi but he wants to be with me. Long argument later I tell him i’ll still talk to him but can’t promise I’ll ever trust him or feel the same about him. About a month maybe two go by and he’s a state over visiting family and I’m suspicious and obviously not trusting him still and decide to download Kik again and message his profile just a simple “Hi.” And surprise to me he messaged back all flirty. I text him again beyond hurt and this point and he begs me not to leave and he’ll never do it again. I had gone through hell and back with this boy and didnt want to start over again after I distanced myself from friends and family. So I’m still with him. All of this is making me feel like I’m actually going CRAZY, I’ve downloaded and redownloaded Kik at least 20 times in the past 4 months making sure he hasnt been on that account but he could’ve always gotten a new one and gotten smarter about hiding it... So I started searching names that were similar to his Kik name, Snapchat, Instagram, even his ps4 name. When that wasnt good enough I started looking through gay Kik groupchat members looking for someone that looks like him. I’ve gone through hundreds of groups and profiles not sleeping because of it (tonights episode has me at 5am right now). I feel so paranoid and scared of finding something. But I don’t know what else to do and obviously me not trusting him has effected our relationship, I lash out at him unintentionally because I’m still angry and hurt because of it all. I just can’t get the thoughts of him sending pictures to older men (he’s 17) and the fact he considered himself a bottom. I really dont know how to end this.. So I’ll just say thank you for reading and any advice is much appreciated.
  8. I’m a heterosexual male and I have a gf who I’m very close too. I enjoy anal stimulation and my girl friend has done it for me. It started of as just anal but now I get these crazy dreams where I am dressed as a female (sometimes) giving oral and engaging in same sex anal. I have urges to want to do more than what she can give me. does that make me gay. Even though I love her to death and want a future with kids and her. What might the dreams mean? What should I do?
  9. I have been dating my boyfriend for just about 9 months now. I am 23 and he is 25. Going into the relationship I was a virgin and he was not. He was single for a long time, basically 20-25, and in that time he went through hell. Battling drug addiction, getting kicked out of school, the loss of several loved ones, severe mental health issues. He comes from a broken home and two fathers who both abandoned him. I have diagnosed OCD and am being eaten alive by retroactive jealousy in what has amounted to my absolute worst fears in a relationship. I knew all of this going into it and was okay with it but I did not know the full extent of his sexual history. He lied to me about it and about a week ago I fully found out. Before I go into detail I feel that I should say that he’s been an incredibly loving and kind boyfriend. He’s sweet and does so much for me. He has told me that Im the reason he’s putting his life back together and since we met he’s gotten a job he loves in the career path of his choice, he got a car, he’s going back to school and he’s made progress with his mental health. I feel honored to have been there for him and helped him so much in such a short amount of time and that he would’ve done all of that for me. He has been totally loyal and good to me. What’s eating me up inside though is that in our relationship he definitely seems to prefer topping, while he was almost exclusively a bottom before me. I found out after questioning, which only after going online I realize I shouldn’t have done, that he likes rough and degrading sex and had many casual hookups. He initially told me he’d been with around 10 people. I now know it to be more like 30. This was happening right before we met and had not occurred throughout his adulthood. There were extended periods where he was basically celibate but it seems like when he got out of rehab he used this as another way to fill a void. I’m hurt, ashamed and disgusted by what I know. I don’t understand it at all and can’t seem to get a handle on my thoughts. I know he would send nudes and even had a sex video that he would send to hookups. This has turned into my absolute worst nightmare scenario. He told me the reason he didn’t tell me is because he was ashamed and didn’t want to believe that he really liked those things, or for me to see him in that way. So now I’m also hurt that he wouldn’t tell me and that he didn’t want that with me. I know he did it partly because he was lonely in a new city, he felt isolated and wanted attention and to be wanted. I know that he was in a very difficult time in his life. I can’t stop imagining him being degraded by other people, hookups, and the way that it was rough sex. It’s unimaginable to me that he liked to be degraded by strangers during sex. It feels unbelievable that this has happened and I can’t look at him the same way. I wish so terribly he hadn’t lied and I’d been able to make a choice early on if I wanted to be with him or not. I feel so repulsed and sickened knowing that that happened. My mind is constantly racing, I constantly ache, and I feel totally heartbroken. My OCD has made this a real world nightmare and it’s like I can see and hear all of this going on. I know without a shadow of a doubt that he loves me and I can’t imagine my life without him. I don’t know how to meld his actions with my values however and I also don’t know how to get over everything I now know. I’m literally sickened. I can’t eat and can barely sleep. It’s plaguing me every minute of the day. I’ve lost over 10 pounds in a week because of this and I need help. I need advice on what to do and what to think. How to correct my thoughts and how to come to terms and be able to deal with this. Or if it’s too much for anyone to deal with and I should save us both agony and end things. I’m sure it’s even worse because I have no sexual history of my own but I think it would be difficult for anyone to bear. Please help, any advice and know how is much appreciated.
  10. I have been through so much in my life. 1. I am a victim of abuse and because of that I am unable to stand on my own two feet because whenever I see a powerful authority figure, I run away. I was slapped hard when I was little for all the little things I did and as a result, I don't have the mental capacity to defend myself and physically. I was slapped, beaten, threatned, verbally abused, locked into a room by my uncle, my mother and father - all because I didn't do what they asked to do. This might be what you call childish or naive but when you have been physically tormented, it affects you psychologically and apparently, being a guy, I am being told to suppress my feelings because I have to be the 'tough' guy. No course of justice and I am stuck here hahaha! All I can do is laugh away at the misery of life and then the distance crying starts... As a result of this amount of abuse, who now my parents have started to act all nicely to me, I don't really care anymore about what I want to be. As the years went by, I was bullied at school because kids thought I was gay because I was with my twin brother and we were looking out for each other. It's quite funny that I am as straight as you can be, but I have nothing against gays but in the 90s being gay was considered 'wrong' and it still is. Then I contracted thyphoid from an overseas trip - that was fun Then, I lost the sensation to the left side of my face and my hearing was almost lost Then I ran into a drunk pedestrian which I have to fork out funds to fund my jaw surgery and the insurance company wouldn't cover it. Don't ever hit a pedestrian. I sleep for 3 hours in most nights and have become ultra sensitive to everything and paranoia has set in because of this car accident and no way in hell am I going to take drugs because i know my root of my problems is the jaw. I then get a nasty surprise from simply asking if someone was single and had an order placed against me so I could never contact this person ever again - all because I asked if she was single, and shared a track I made. I know they say that nice guys finish last, but what's wrong with being nice? Now I am scared of even approaching anyone all because I might offend someone - is it because I am not some snobby white collar successful person that's of position of authority? Should I give up finding anyone?
  11. My fiance broke up with me this week. I am destroyed honestly. He told he thinks he's gay and he needs to explore his feelings. I'm trying to be understanding because I love him but it hurts so much. We never fought. We were perfect for each other. We lived in an apt together and the past few months we started looking for a house. We found the perfect house. He started becoming distant and I thought it was just stress which he agreed. I thought things would get better once we finished moving. He put the house all in his name because I have little to no credit and he makes more money. I had a bad feeling about this but he reassured me. The day he closed on the house he broke up with me. I feel betrayed. Did he plan this all along? He says he's only been questioning his sexuality the past couple months and before he was completely attracted to women. He said it's like a switch flipped in his brain and now he's not attracted to women at all. He told me if he doesn't like being with a man that he would call me. I can't handle this pain. I'm really struggling with this new reality.
  12. Hey y’all. Ive been with my boyfriend for a little over a year now. We are in a long distance relationship but spend a few months together, and a few months apart. He says I’m the one and he wants to get married, have a kid, provide for our future family & talks about our future often. I really love him too and this may be the healthiest relationship I’ve ever had buttt he is far from your average male & theres some BIG questions I sometimes have about his sexuality. Its confusing because he lives in a very liberal society (more so than mine relatively) with a lot of openly gay people and fairly non existent gender roles. He is 31 now, so I have no idea why he wouldn’t just be himself/come out if he was. He seems to truly and genuinely love me. Our sex is frequent and good and its obvious that he’s attracted to me as well as other girls... although Ive know very gay men who are wierdly attracted to women too. However, theres a lot of things that most people would find suspicious at best. First thing I noticed about him is he is REALLY into fashion. Now thats of course normal with many straight guys but he will spend loads of money on “fly” outfits. Soft cozy things, silky pink things, sparkly fabrics, and has more shoes than I do. He trims his beard obsessively bc he can’t stand it not looking perfect. He’s a bit ocd though so that could be part of it. But more than just fashion for himself, he’s into dressing me, almost like his own little barbie doll. He has a look that he likes in particular which is this 90s r&b thing and has really tried to steer me in that direction… Some might find this controlling but I don’t really mind that much, actually I think its fun that I can discuss these things with him (like finally a bf that has an opinion), and tend to agree with his taste 98% of the time. I think I look better and have embraced my african heritage a lot more for it… although I think he fetishizes women of color a little because of the music he listens to (I’m mixed race, he’s white) but thats a different topic. Anyway, he is always asking what I will wear when we go out and he REALLY enjoys shopping with me and picking out things for me to try. When he really likes something on me he will offer to pay if I’m even THINKING about not getting it. He even surprises me with me nice/expensive clothes and tells me how amazing I look in them… Although he doesn’t really take me out on dates to wear these clothes, we mostly go out as a group with his friends or work at his house (as freelancers). Although Ive discussed this with him and he apologized and promised he could change... I’m always planning things to do with him when were in my city though and he likes it. Down to every detail he is interested in my appearance wanting me to try certain hairstyles, jewelry, and is even super curious about how I apply my makeup. He even once said he wanted to do my makeup and asked if there was a way he could correct his skin imperfections without it being obvious… I ended up helping him choose a tinted sunscreen haha. Lately he even sometimes helps me reapply my lipliner/lipstick when were out! He doesn’t mind coming into makeup stores with me and giving me his opinions, also buying me stuff sometimes… one time he even tried on a black lipstick himself (I guess for shts and giggles,,, I hope??) He is creative likes to paint my nails with entire detailed scenes on them (actually he’s really good at it!), and even sympathies with me when I break one lol. Another thing is his best friend (who also dates girls and has had ltr's with them). They have been friends since high school so obviously they are very close… So i really don’t know what to think when I find out his friend always wants to sleep over, sleep in the same bed as my bf, and they have even showered together to “save time before going to the club”. Apparently this friend admires my bf’s Dck and has funny nicknames for it!!! Has even asked him if I’m enjoying it !!!! All this my boyfriend has told me voluntarily, but he still prioritizes me above his friends when I’m visiting for those few months. I mean the friend is a bit immature for his age (also 31) but this seems a little bit much to me. Ive asked him point blank in the least judgmental way possible if he’s bi or ever been into guys in any way and he told me no. He’s a really good guy though and I feel we get along great, with a lot in common, but a lot of mixed signals here sexuality wise. Sooo I’m wondering what you guys think. Just some quirks or do you think is he secretly into dudes? Again, I don’t really mind any of this behavior if thats who he is, I just don’t want to be played for a fool and feel that I should have seen it coming.
  13. My husband is an alcoholic. According to his family its been so for a long time. He has on many occasions promised to stop and has stopped briefly but it never lasts. Goes off for hours lying about where he is, hiding drinking, etc He can see no issue with his actions and I am worried he is gaslighting me by normalising his behaviour and making me out to be at fault. He had a long term younger female 'friend' . former employee, who he used to go out drinking with and a gay friend the same age. The female friend nonsense came to a head a few times he could not see her behaviour even though everyone else could. She was obsessed with him and It got to the point I couldnt leave the house or she would be there alone with him. The male friend I didnt see coming as i never saw him as a threat. A few months ago, before he was to emigrate he insisted we went out for dinner and drinks. he assured me he hadnt brought drink to the house. He waited for me to go to bed and then brought a load of drink in. I woke up the next morning to hear them outside at 5am - I went down and caught by husband performing a sex act on the friend. Whats worse is he isnt even gay - he did it for money and tried to justify it to me by saying we needed the money. he got more and more drunk, tried to leave 'for my own good' despite being a danger to himself. He swore when he sobered up he would change and went to a doctor but refused to go to a counseller or psychiatrist (which I think he needs as he has major issues!). he half remembered what he did and was physically sick. Ive never seen anyone in my life as drunk as he was it was terrifying. Next it was from im never going to drink to oh we will go away once a month and I will just drink then. he was ill and hadnt drank in weeks but I left the house for one day, just one to help his family as he was too ill to and he had been drinking. Worse, he was drinking with younger female employees and when his father stopped him from going out with them he let one illegally drive his car to get himself drink. I came home and just cried myself to sleep. I didnt even bother mentioning it until this evening when I wanted to go to dinner, and he announced 'great im dying for a drink'. I told him how can he just say that and he says fine we wont go. he refuses to talk about it, cannot see he has done anything wrong, cant understand why I feel depressed, humiliated and really low. I tried to get him to talk about it and was told I was 'shouting at him (I wasnt) and twisting the knife and a 'nasty little thing'. he makes me feel like a loser telling me to go off with friends - I have sadly lost most friends as I can never talk about anything and also as I hate going anywhere as if I leave as soon as he can he will be drinking - where ever with whoever. I dont know what to do anymore - this was the first time I brought it up in a long time and as usual he doesnt care, doesnt get emotional and walks away from me or goes to bed in silence. He acts like im a hysterical woman making a issue out of nothing and being his jailer. I on the other hand am a wreck. I have to go to an event with an employee (family business) tomorrow and I cant pull out without it looking odd but I just dont want to do I am exhausted all the time pretending things are ok. No one aside from his family know what he is like. The business is his families but it means clients onsite at all times and i am so so tired of putting on a fake smile and a brave face. My mum doesnt know any of this neither do my one or two remaining friends as im too humiliated to talk about it. I feel like the biggest loser in the world and it hurts so much, All i have done is love him so I dont understand what I have done to deserve this
  14. Me and my boyfriend have been together for about a month now (I know not that long) and we have run into problems. I seem to never be able to get a hold of him and he ignores my texts and calls. I have panic disorder (he is aware) and it results in me having panic attacks and crying myself to sleep at night. I told hin that we were done but now I am trying to figure out a way to fix things. I asked him if we can talk about things in person and have gotten, to no surprise, no response. I need to save my relationship but have no idea how to do so. Some additional information: I will be 17 soon and he is 18, it's a gay relationship, both of us are out, and this has been going on for about a week now
  15. I’ve been dating this guy for 1.5 years. He’s 34 and I’m 26, he’s had several girlfriends in the past that didn’t work out for him which I’ve alwsys wondered why. He’s good looking, has his career set, educated, well spoken, has tons of hobbies and friends. I also liked that he didn’t talk to other women, look at pics or porn. He claimed he rarely masturbated as well and our sex life was great!! The other day, however, I found a large chest full of realistic looking dildos, massively sized and of different colors (bbc included). There were at least 15 of them in this box.. I confronted him about this and he claims he got into anal play with his past girlfriend an ever since then he’s collected more over the course of 15 years, and that’s how he masturbates when he’s single or I’m away for some time. He doesn’t hook up with women he’ll only have sex within a relationship. I even found some fake sperm, which he claims could’ve been from the past gf. He’s really embarrassed by it and doesn’t want anyone to know because he always puts up this image that he’s a very manly guy amongst his friends and family, and said if they found out he’d have to move away. I feel like he’s probably gay because he’s so afraid of his image, or at least bi, because I had no idea about this until I found his stash. I’m not sure if I can be with someone who wasn’t truthful to himself or me about his sexuality and was willing to hide it forever or was going to “get rid of it”. Which makes no sense because it seems like he really enjoys this with the collection he has, he would be repressing himself of his desires. I can’t see him the same way anymore which is what he was afraid of, but I wish he had just been honest from the start. Is he being truthful about just enjoying the prostrate pleasure aspect or is his sexuality questionable? I understand experimenting and having some toys but these toys are extremely realistic and I don’t think a “straight” man would be ok with playing around with them.
  16. I've been with my boyfriend for 2,5 years, and we've been living together for about 1,5 of those. Like every couple, we've had ups and downs, but by far this is the best guy I've ever been with, and I really saw my future with him. Today we watched a documentary together about straight camps and conversion therapy, and it's a subject that's touchy for him. He grew up in a very religious household, and coming out and coming to terms with his sexuality has not been an easy process for him. As a joke I asked him if he would remove his sexuality if he could, and he replied and he replied "who knows, could be". I pressed it again, and he repeated the same. Now, i admit I sometimes get too emotional, so I didn't really say much, but I admit now that this hurts me. I grew up non-religiously, and no matter how hard I try, I will never be able to fully relate to how he thinks or feels about the issue. The way I read his reply is basically being non-committal and not seeing a future in this relationship - if he did, he would have said no. I'm not sure what I'm even asking here - has anyone else has a similar experience? What should I do, if anything? I want him to know that I know that it's difficult for him, but it's also difficult for me. I guess I can't see a future where a cure for homosexuality is existing or legal, but it still bothers me. Am I being overdramatic? Sorry for the mess of a post, I just don't have the willpower right now to make myself come off clearer.
  17. Met a guy at an open mic night about a month go, who was very unambiguously into me at the start and asked me to ask him out. I thought he had a nice face and I was a bit interested but he's not my usual type and I was still shaking interest in someone else. On our first date he concluded I wasn't interested in him and wasn't worth it, I walked away with the opposite impression and wanted to see more. Next time I saw him in the first 5 minutes he'd told me I don't know what punk music and, upon hearing that I'd gotten a bad performance review from work that I alienate people (totally not the right thing to say). He's been telling me all these negative things about me ever since, I'm racist, sexist, narrow minded, brainwashed SJW blah blah blah. And I am BAD at letting people go, so I held in wishfully thinking that he'd just got the wrong end of the stick and if he spent more time with me he'd realise what I'm really like (like, see me the way my friends do at least). Today it came up in passing that I don't shave and he leveled complete vitriol at me "you should have told me sooner" "people who don't shave are just selfish and lazy" "You just don't shave because you're a brain washed SJW" "Not shaving is why guys **** you but won't date you" "you must want a man who's desperate or a bit gay and I am neither" We kept talking, he never reached a point of apologising though, he's all like "either we be friends and you let those things I said go or we don't speak again" And then in the silence some rubbish about am I going to be anywhere he is tonight because he despises drama. I should have let up the night he told me I alienate people. My wishful thinking still keeps me stuck with people who hurt me and this hurt more than any of the disinterested boys before him. No advice needed per se just looking for hugs and pictures of cute things, words of solidarity. My streak of unreciprocated interest, from guys who appeared interested but then flipped on me remains unbroken and is heading for double digits, it is really really hard to not tell me this is just going to be every guy from now on The sadness is high tonight
  18. I somehow keep ending up with men who after a while I find out some really strange things about and it's led to me discovering that they have been sleeping with other men or have slept with men in the past and still desire to do so. Yet when you approach the subject they vehemently deny it. Why can't gay men just stay away from straight women. And how can you tell ? Before you fall in love with them. It mAkes you feel like you can't trust anyone...so much for a boys night out haha...everyone suddenly becomes competition. I had trust issues before my last two relationships now I don't think I can trust a man ever again. Majority of them are lying cowards. Can anyone convince me I'm wrong?
  19. This is a can of worms. A massive can of worms for me that has stems from years of contemplation, anxiety, and therapy. I'm a guy. And I'm into (select guys). I am open and loving of people of all sexuality, but when it comes to myself, I can never accept myself for who I am. I have always wanted to just be in the group of normal straight teens who like girls, but wouldn't actively consider being with a male. I dare never to hate someone because they are gay, but deep down in myself I really don't like that I am attracted to other guys. I've dated a few guys and have done a little more with more guys, but I can never say that to my family or friends, or post it on social media. Its a legit second life that I actively cover up to make sure no one sees. I'm not scared that I'll be disowned, my mother and the few friends that I have told support it and always want to hear what I'm up to. But the image of me being with a male doesn't fit the persona that I have setup for myself and that I want to grow into as I begin my adult life. I tell myself it's okay to go on these adventures and be intimate with guys, as long as I tell myself that when I'm older, I'll be married to a woman and have kids of my own. But I'm at that age where people start becoming open to the idea of permanent/super long term relationships. And I fall for these guys not because of what's down stairs, but because they're sweet and like me because I don't like myself. But I feel like I need to make a commitment as to which side I swing towards before I start making real mistakes involving real people and real emotions. I consider myself bi, but some of the people who have called me out have called me gay. But I don't agree with that. Sure I haven't properly dated or had sex with a female, but I'm still attracted to them, but at the same time I haven't been able to hold the hand of a male partner I've had while in public, or asked to have the dorm room for a night to have a night alone with him out of sheer anxiety and discomfort. I'm only 19 so I'm sure some of this can be attributed to changing hormones, but this has been a battle I've fought inside for years. And I feel like a really bad person having this battle inside myself, and still going out and opening myself to new relationships.
  20. 35-year-old gay man here. I met an amazing guy about a month ago. Since the first date things have clicked really well. I know it's early but I think I'm falling in love with him and I think he's falling in love with me. I've had a few relationships so far, and the connection in this one feels much deeper and authentic. I'm very comfortable with him, he makes me feel safe, we seem to communicate well and openly, etc. I admittedly have had a little anxiety about this not working out and getting hurt. He's given me zero reason to feel this way and I've accepted that a lot of that is in my head and I think I've had enough relationship and life experience to keep my head in the game and live in the present. My question is this- he's 28, he's been out for a couple of years, but he's never been in a serious relationship before and he said he's never been in love before. I've had a number of guys for whom I've had unreciprocated feelings for, and I've also been in relationships (with men and women) that were ultimately unfulfilling for me, so this is shaping up to be the first relationship that I've been in in which we both seem quite into each other. And honestly, when I was 28 I was still very, very deep in the closet. Should I be worried or restrained regarding his relationship inexperience? So far he's been very open, communicative, and sincere.
  21. Hey ive been in my (gay) relationship now for 3 months and it is going really well. i just need some help with when im not with him im always constantly texting him and i feel like i am annoying him and sometimes he tells me if i am. which is fair enough because then this shows that he is honest with me. i just need help with how to stop being so clingy any replies will be a great help
  22. ok, i'm a fifteen yr old bi male and there is this super hot guy at my shcool. i want to get to know him, but i don't know if he is gay or straight. his myspace profile says hes straight and in a relationship, but his profile is themed around abercrombie and fitch and american eagle. it even has techno music. people make fun of him on his profile calling him a and being gay. i just don't know. can you guys help me out.
  23. Hello, first time posting (urghghg) Well, Im a guy and gay I seriously think this guy in my school likes me, and I really like him. But Im not sure if he's gay. At first I didn't think too much about it when he stared at me in the hallway. I didn't want to think about it much becuase I knew that he probably wasn't gay, and I'd just end up with a broken heart if I fell in love with him. I see this guy nearly every period in the hallway and he's so cute. I guess it's just plain coicedence that we have the same "routine". The sad thing is, I don't even know his name OR his grade! All I know is he's obviously an upperclassmen. Maybe Junior or Senior. Im a freshmen. As I said, I see him ALL the time in school. Once in the morning, in the hallway3 times, and after school. He usually just kinda stares at me for a few seconds, then breaks off when I look back. He'll also wait a lot with hi s firends by my table in the morning, occasionally looking at me then breaking off. I also noticed that whenever Im waiting alone in the main commons of the highschool, he'll usually walk past me, then just wait near me with some of his friends kinda looking at me. Theres also this weird thing I noticed he does often..it's kinda hard to describe. I stay after a lot, practically everyday. When he see's me walking, he'll usually keep up the pace with me. But when I turn to a different hallway. or tell my firend that Im staying after, he'll also stop and stay after too. Like he'll say to his friends "ohh, uhh, actually I think I gotta stay after today" or kinda stop and do an...I don't know how to descirbe, an "akward" motion and stay in the same spot, when clearly he was going to leave, but decide to stay when he saw me staying after. OK Im not sure of that made sense. (My grammar is crap btw, Im trying my best to make this as legible as possible >_ I really don't think he's some sort of creepy psyco stalker guy. It's just purely coicedence we see each taht many times in school. He does a lot of things to kind of.."stall" himself so he can be stay clostr to me for a short time. Like just today after school, When I was waiting with my firend outside, he walked really slow past me. He did somehting like pretend to check his shoe/pant leg near, me kinda look at me, then walk away. I was going to ask him his name. My friend was urging me to talk to him. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out! I just literally couldn't say it, I felt so weak. I got sad when I saw him walk away to his bus. Everyday I try to talk to him or try to make him talk to me. I've been dressing and looking my best everyday so that, just a slim cahcne he'd come over and say something. Pretty stupid thought, but that's the best I could think of. But then when I think about...even if he is gay, and it works out, we can never be together for a very long time. As I said, he's probably a junior or senior and Im a freshmen. I still have 4 more years ahead of me, and his highscool time is almost over. He could be a senior for all I know, and I'll never see him again next year. ok yea Im obviously thinking too far ahead, but that's what I really think. Everyday I saw to myself "OK today I WILL talk to him!!" but it never happens. I get nervous and he usually has a bunch of people around him. I felt really bad after school today. I stayed, and so did he when he saw me. I could tell he didn't have to stay for anything, because when I came back to get my things, I saw him with a couples firends at the end of the commons waiting there kidna looking at me. I don't know why I fell bad. I have some sort of regret becuase I felt that I should've stayed near him. I felt like I made him wait 30 minutes for me to come back. I think Im blabbering now Holy crap, Im so sorry that was long. I basically poured out all my thoughts that have been bothering me for a while now into a few simple paragraghs. I've looked through this forum, and it seems likea very helpful place. So my question is...do you think he's gay based on this? I may have made it sound like he was really really intrested in me, but then again, can you tell someone is gay just by the looks he gives you?
  24. Hey everyone. For all of you who don't know my story and want to know, the link for the previous post is here >> Well, yesterday I found out that he 'planned' to cheat on me. I was shocked, confused and in disarray. I am heartbroken given that I loved him sooo much. His reasons? He said that he just couldn't handle it anymore; "it" being the fact that he cannot accept that he is gay. I however could not understand the difference if one is in a relationship or not because the underlying problem is still there. So, the fact that he cannot accept being gay gives him permission to cheat or plan to cheat, they're the same thing to me. His explanation to that, he lost control and that he said that he was planning to end it with me as soon as he came back because he knew that he couldn't make me happy with his dilemma. So, he was planning to break up with me and then on the same day that he planned to break up with me was making plans to casually meet with someone!!??!! I don't get it! I never expected things to end like this. I knew going into the relationship that there were issues with religion and if it was going to end, it would be because of it. We shared so many great times together and now I am having trouble comprehending the missing feeling inside. Anyway, I found out his cheating plans around 6:30PM yesterday and after that, I contacted my friends and they were sympathetic and shocked at the same time. Around 10PM, my ex contacts me to see if I was ok, and I told him that I will be. At that moment, I told him that I forgive him. There were so many good things in the relationship that overshadow the bad things, and for that I will cherish them. That was the hardest thing for me to do.... ... and all through the night thoughts crept in my mind of all the good things, again this makes me cry more tears.. I eventually set aside all the good thoughts and focused on the subject of cheating so that I can sleep better. Which brings me to now, the morning after. I feel so empty. He took away the best thing I've ever had. I don't know how I will handle meeting him on Saturday to exchange our things. Any advice will help.
  25. Hi everyone, Ok, so my exboyfriend broke up with me not so long ago and i've been having a pretty hard time coping. My best friend and I were talking today and she brought up a whole list of things that indicated he was gay.( I told her everything in our relationship) I actually sat back and was in shock and never put together all of the signs. I think he might be..Now I don't want to confront him on this, hence I don't want to speak with him. But this is something I'd like to know. I don't have any gay friends so I'm just wondering if there are any homosexual guys or anyone who have friends that are gay that can give me advice. The reasons I think he is: 1. The first week we went out he told me that when he was in college, there was a moment he "thought he might be gay" he never acted on it, and "every guy has that moment in there life at some point whether or not they admit it" 2. He has a million girlfriends 3. Everywhere we went, every show we watched he had to tell me how pretty every girl was. (maybe bc he had to reassure himself?) ..(he would compliment me too, but every single pretty girl he had to say something) 4. He didn't have sex with me often, and when we did a lot of times he would loose his erection in the middle of it. 5. He loved anal sex. That's all he wanted to do, and he was always fully aroused when we did that. and that's pretty much it. I mean the way he acted, he talked very proper and he dressed nice, but I guess that doesn't mean anything.. So what do you guys think
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