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Hi ENA! I hope everyone is enjoying the summer so far! It has been a while since I have posted, I was on a long healing journey and proud to finally be on the other side! To make a long story short, I was in a 10-year relationship. Married 8 years, separated for 2, then divorced, and kept a friendship going (occasional conversation via phone, exchanging holiday cards, etc.) My ex-wife decided that she was no longer happy in the marriage, so she decided, planned, orchestrated, the divorce and did not want any money. She wanted a respectful, amicable divorce, dragged her feet for years to send the papers, and I even paid 100% for the costs of the divorce, …

(I got this idea from another forum I visit frequently, if one like this already exists by all means ignore / delete this one.) OK, it seems a few of us have had a rough time with the darned NC. I had fantasies today of unloading all this anger, longing, and "W-T-F" onto my ex. I am creating this thread as a place for all of us in pain to post instead of contacting Ms/Mr ex. It could actually be kind of fun, at least a release. What would you like to tell him or her? Even if it's been building up for years, post it here! Rage-fest! Longing-fest! DO NOT CONTACT that frigging ex, put it all here!!

Posting this again, because I feel like even after all this time I keep getting caught in the vicious circle of self blame and what-could-have-been. First off, I know I displayed toxic behavior and I feel guilty about this every single day. At the time, I didn't know any better but I do now. I'm getting therapy for my issues. I was dating this guy for 5 months (and 5 months long distance due to covid). We had the perfect related, we talked everyday, I KNEW he liked me a lot and I absolutely adored him. He told me he was so lucky to have met me, got me soup when I was sick, offered to help me move etc. Having been sexually abused in a relationship before,…

So I had a relationship some years back that left me really messed up for a long time. I won't go to much into it because it's passed but both the last quarter of the relationship hit be harder than any I'd experienced and it was a long time until I felt myself. Soon after the relationship I hired her and an associate to do some business for me. Recently the associate reached out to me and had an offer that worked for me so I went ahead with it (i'm not sure he knows about myself and her being ex's) but after things were ready I noticed that her firm was attached to do the final paperwork. I decided that I was OK now and maybe it would be fine to do it, make som…

Hey, ENA. Welcome to part one of the new PDN5 series called "shouting into the void about his past and present problems." For context, I am a 26-year-old man. Relationship Problems and Break-Up I broke up with a long-term girlfriend (23 F), call her R, almost three months ago. Things with R were not going well. Here is why. Problems. Views on Children. I was originally open to children when entering my relationship. R really wanted/wants biological children: that became apparent we got to know each other better, and especially in the last several months. (Of course, that's totally okay). I started going to therapy for our relationship problems last…

I don’t really know what I’m feeling. My ex and I had an extremely toxic relationship on and off 11 years. We have a daughter and we literally just started coparenting cordially. He has a girlfriend (whom he was moved in with two weeks after I decided to let him go). They are expecting a child next month. I don’t want him but I feel envious, or maybe jealous. And not because of her, but him. It’s like part of me feels I’m in a race to beat him to a truly happy life after all that he has put me through. I desperately want him to somehow beg me back so I can turn him down. I know it’s wrong, but I don’t know how to get past it at this point. Help.

We were together 12y, married 3, and have a 8 month old. Anywho its been a heck of a saga, but she showed her hand and it was the last straw. Last tuesday I officially had filed for divorce, and im now going through the process. I wont waste time talking about her more, but am trying to figure out my path forward after this 12y saga. What sort of steps should I guy like myself do to re-invent, and re-think who i am going forward and maybe at some point get lucky and meet someone new. Im looking for thoughts and ideas. Thanks

I posted in cyber relationships a month back about how I fell very deep into this online situation with a girl 15 years my junior. Looking back at it now, I am realizing how I ignored so many red flags from the start and allowed my savior complex, coupled with my co-dependency issues to allow the situation to stew for much much longer then it needed to. In retrospect, I've probably been in the situation before without even realizing it and somehow blamed this individual for all of my issues feeling that somehow I had been wronged; when in fact they were just a catalyst for my pathologies. What happened was this individual played up the victim card, blaming their ex f…

My relationship ended two months ago. We were on and off, spending weekends together but he said he wasn't sure he wanted to get back together. It was hell for me. Yesterday we saw each other because I had to grab a few things at his house, and I was a complete mess. Crying, begging, and the way he looked at me as if he despised me. It hurt so much. He said when we're not together he doesn't miss me anymore but when he sees me it messes with this feelings but he's still sure about this decision. He says he wants us to be happy, and together we are not. We have great chemistry, connection but hard time understanding each other. If I could quickly describe it I'd say it's a…

My GF of 2.5 years dumped me a week ago. We live long-distance now, so I do not have to see her. It was abrupt and very unexpected. I live alone now, no real friends in the area I live, but I am moving in a month. Until then, I am mostly alone with my thoughts. I am paranoid about "What Ifs" "What if she's gotten rid of me bc she became interested for another? What If another man is staying over at her place? What if he's massaging her, or they've kissed, or they're having sex?" Her and I haven't had sex in over a month... She's gorgeous, 27, fit, and always has a million gentlemanly callers. I have no real reason to believe there is anyone else. When she b…

So around 2.5 yrs ago, I broke up with my girlfriend of a year. I went away to college and she was a HS senior. The relationship steadily started to decline. I was feeling like she wanted too much attention and was taking away from my studies (always wanted to FaceTime and communicate.) I also hated the highs and lows of coming back home but then having to leave her again. So I ended it. She was devastated and also quite upset with me as I had a hard time giving her a valid reason for breaking up. I think I told her I needed to focus on school and that I didnt feel the same about the relationship as I once had, which was true. When we were dating and I would come home, sh…

So my boyfriend broke up with me like 9 months ago and honestly it was so hard on me cus he was my first. One person I confided in said she was even so surprised I had handled it so well for a first time break up... but in my secret places in the mornings and my room at night, I'd cry so hard so much that I usually woke up with swollen eyes. What hurt me more was that he seemed so indifferent about the whole matter. More like a "Yh I broke up with you. It's no big deal" kinda vibe. Months went by and I finally decided to move on and live my life. Then we start to talk and hit things off like we used to when we were together...with a few arguments in between. And jus…

I still miss my ex and I don't know why. I know it's better not to get back together and that she is no good for me but why do I still feel this way? Why do I still care fo her for everything she has done to me? Why can't i hate her for it. I still think about her everyday and when it is too must I just cry. the pain is just killing me and I reallt don't want to feel this way anymore. Why does things have to turn out like this? to teach a lesson? I really didn't want her to be a lesson I just reallt wanted to have a future with her

My ex and I were together for 3 and a half years (we are 22 now). Back in October she cheated me with a guy she had been working with. We maintained contact for the next 3 months after the breakup, but her confusion and wishy-washiness (between me and the new guy) was killing me so I asked her not to contact me anymore and went NC. I really wanted to forgive her at that moment but we all know it takes two to tango. Going forward its already been 3 and a half months of NC. I'm feeling better than ever, I've been hitting the gym, meeting new people and doing the things I love. I also recently met a girl with who i have a fwb relationship (we both agreed that we didn't …

Ok so I'll try to make this as short as I can lol I haven't posted here in a looong time, Not Alone used to be my comfort place a few years ago when I went through issues, specially relationship wise. I'm 27 now and I used to come here a lot when I was around 22, and after that I started becoming more emotionally stable, got to know myself better. But after all of these years, I feel like I need to reach out again. I recently went through a break up that messed me up bad. This man came into my life when I wasn't looking for anyone and we instantly fell in love and didn't go a day without seeing or talking to each other. I had given up on love, or feeling in lo…

Wasn't sure where to put this but it ties in with lonliness too. So I'm having really bad spells at the moment. This morning I was feeling so low I was having suicidal thoughts (I'd never go through with it). But I've been reading a lot of Eckart Tolle lately and his lesson is learning to be with your thoughts, whatever they may be, coming back to the present moment and being one with now. Although I practice this, it doesn't overall help me. I find that I need to be out of my house... even if it's just going for a long drive. That coupled with reassuring myself I won't be lonely forever is what gives me hope, not sitting in my house all day meditating. …

Hi. I haven't been able to move on from my last relationship even though it's been 3.5 years it ended and I don't know what to do. I haven't been able to trust anyone else and there are days during which I think about it and it makes me feel down. I need advice, because I don't know what to do now. Basically, this girl and I were childhood friends. She was my sister's best friend (it was sort of an on and off friendship that they had). Anyways, by the age of 14, she was very much into me. She would ask my sister advice on how to get my attention and eventually I gave in. The thing is, we're both from very religious families in which dating is forbidden. I rememb…

I am a freshman in college that broke up with my girlfriend back in October. I broke up with her for another girl. It took me about a week to realize I messed up. So I know that this whole thing is my fault. But as soon as I admitted to my ex that I messed up she went from telling me every day that she misses me and wants to get back together she flipped and said she doesn't want to talk to me anymore because I was too sad about breaking up and it was ruining her mood when I told her. so I decided to wait a little bit and try and fix it later. She then sends me a snapchat of her in her underwear being spooned by another man shirtless. so after that I blocked her. My menta…

Hello everyone 🙂 I am Kriyah and I'm from India. I'm seeking some advice regarding healing, being content and not giving an F about somebody who has hurt me. Here is a short back story. For those of you who don't know, arranged marriages are quite the thing here in India. So my parents found a suitable guy for me last year and we talked for a month. We talked every day and things were quite good. We vibed really well and conversations were great. Then one month later we decided to meet up. Post that date, he got busy with some work for about 3 days and on the 4th day he told me that he thinks we won't be compatible in the long run, he wished me luck and said we …

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted on here. If you go through my post history you will see all the events that transpired and led up to this moment. I’ve tried to restrain myself from coming back after my last post as I realized I kept going in circles and was starting to get a bit annoying and pathetic. Maybe it’s the covid loneliness talking, but after so long I felt I wanted to reach out again for advice. Sorry if this post drags on, I posted a tdlr at the end. To summarize, my ex and I broke up 2 and a half years ago. I was her first relationship. We were friends for a while before anything happened between us but I knew she had a long standin…

I recently (as in, a couple weeks ago) was dumped out of the blue by a guy i'd been seeing for a few months and felt extremely connected to. I've been in relationships before, but this one i've definitely taken the hardest and have struggled to feel better. It's made it extra hard because he lives very close to me and everywhere I go it reminds me of him. I even ran into him on the street last weekend which was extremely awkward. I want to push through this and build new memories and do fun things to take my mind off it, but I live in New York where it's currently freezing outside, and a lot is shut down due to COVID. I've moved around a lot, so many of my friends li…

I would like to share my story, as I have been lingering on this forum for some time now, as well as a couple of others. I had always hoped it would be a success story after our break up but unfortunately it didn't work out that way (you probably wont be surprised). Please excuse the length of this post. It's going to include a large history of this relationship. The information is going to be littered with negatives, as its hard to forget them. It's easy to bring them up as the events around them were generally positive for the most part and not worth mentioning. Writing this down has helped me move on. I am just looking to put my thoughts on paper and m…

I was dating my (now ex) bf for like a month, knew each other slightly over 2months. Recently I have been hit with another depression relapse - I told him I had this medical condition while we were talking bout our past relationships (before we started dating) So couple of days before we broke up, i was feeling kinda snappy. Got irritated by a response from cinema staff whom didn't respond to my question. So I got annoyed and my tone was pretty harsh when I spoke to the staff (bf wasn't there). Afterwards, I grumbled to my ex while telling him the whole conversation. So he mentioned that the staff may not have responded appropriately given the crowd size he…

Hey all, I'm writing so as to get some advice. I'll try to make this as short as possible. I met my "ex" (we didn't get to call ourselves bf/gf) about two years ago. We work together and it took us a while to hook up. She was in a relationship were she was being heavily manipulated and it took her a long while and a lot of therapy to finally get herself rid from her ex. Once this relationship was over, we started going out. We dated for around 6 months and everything was going perfect. Out of the blue, she told me she wanted to talk with me and explained that she liked everything about me but that she felt that after her previous relationship she didn't have tim…

He and I broke up 3 weeks ago. We had a huge fight, broke up, and after we had a closure talk of sorts. He said he still loved me, but wasn't sure if our relationship had been good. He said he was torn and that his mind was telling him one thing and his heart was telling him another. I asked him if he would just wanted to be friends and he asked "but do we both want that" and that "the situation was one where neither person wants to walk away". We left things up in the air after that. Then everyday he started messaging me "good morning" and we started chatting throughout the day. We then started watching Netflix movies together online, after he first initiated. Over the c…