robowarrior

Its a game , and basically he is a player. And he is a person you shouldn't allow to come between you two, you know the more you attack him the faster he will get the girl you love. So dont go that way, Basically he is pushing you out of her life, so that he can step in and take her. And basically he has what it takes to do so, however Retaliate, bring her an engagement ring, basically its becoming a game now of who has the best future to offer for her. Deadlock her, and constantly put her in a place where he can't reach her. Don't make it too obvious tho, it has to be done subtle otherwhise she'll suspect that you are hiding her away from him. If she asks again, why do you love me, tel her that you want to marry her because you two are destined for eachother. And that you want to be able to do great and fun things together. Its basically a snake fight between the two of you. The smartest player will win.

*cheers for you* I remember this situation, it resembles like a person who is in a room with a door in it.You see, If the person is afraid to go thru that door,because she doesn't know what lies behind it, the room that the person is in effectivly becomes a prison even tho there is a door in it. You don't have to worry about anything, in terms of choices its easy, you have to choose what is best for you. Going back to your hometown doesn't mean you are going to be affiliated with this guy again per se. You see YOU are the one who determines wether you allow him back in your life, in terms of these things you have to act like a castle gate , close yourself against bad people/things/events in your life, and open yourself up to good people/things , if you open your life up for bad people like your ex or whatever nightmare you let into your life then you are bound to be in for the hurt. Its not like your forced to let him in, just kick him out, as a matter of fact kick anyone out of your life who hurts you, you don't need people in your life who destroy you. You really need to get your stuff arranged in your life, go study get a diploma , get a stable ground under your feet, arrange your future take in people in your life who bring happyness to you instead of cow dung and lower.

What you should do is the following, inform people who give you compliments, actually i think that that's why you said your sorry. But that's only half way there, you should have said sorry, but im not used to taking compliments as my family never learned me to give or accept them. That way the other person is 'informed', so instead of getting angry at you as your ex did, they can put in a valid exuse as to that was how you where brought up, i actually have the same problem but then with soccer. Everyone here is nuts about soccer, they all talk eat and breathe soccer, but my grandfather wasn't a fan of soccer, and he never brought it to his son, and my father in his turn never created any sorts of interest in soccer for me. So when people start to talk to me , hey have you seen this match of arsenal versus psv , im like sorry but ,i've never had to do anything with soccer all my life, because of disinterest that came from it since my granfather. They understand and leave me alone, lol. So i think its not something you 'per se' have to work on, exept if you want to, because as you said its a 'livable' situation if your not used to anything else. So if you just inform people like i did , it should be alright.

Well you have to accept you are a lesbian, and that you don't want to confess because you are afraid of all the critisism from outside. Its time you start being honest to yourself and to your environment, you really need to come out of the closet , because you are putting your whole life in denial, and that's not a good thing. I would take it slow and try to find out if she has simular feelings.

For guys they expect it short, so they probably think you look much more like a gentleman when your like this. For some guys who start to bald, they just shave everything off, looks kinda cool to me. But somehow everyone says just a normal head with normal hair is the best. Beats me as to why.

If you want to be with him, why don't you have sex with him? I mean for a guy sex is the biggest part of the relationship, i know its not for girls but if you know this, then you know that saying something like 'i don't want to have sex with you ' is basically saying i 'reject' you , its no wonder he is creating more distance between you two if you reject him. Ok its like this, for a woman its all about 'being together' for a man its the sex that counts. Basically you can't have a relationship with a guy if you leave the sex out. The more sex, the more times he is together with you, for a guy it is the most intimate thing. For a woman its more 'ugh here we go again', its a matter of choice i gues. To me it doesn't sound like you want to be with him based on sexual terms. You know to me it seems like he has being doing all the effort, but im really asking myself do you love him, and do you want to be with him. Because it would only be natural to want to have sex with someone that you love. That your body is rejecting him, is for me a sign that you aren't too much head over heels for him to begin with.

This story scares me enough to advice you to go see a doctor.

Go out and have fun, don't let negative things keep you from living as fear is often not a good guidance. Even if you die, then it was your time to leave. Don't worry the spirit lives on forever so even if you die you'll live to tell the tale amongst other spirits.

If your going thru hell, keep going! You know what a balance is right? Balance is hard but essensial for your life, after a rape your life goes completely out of balance, next to visiting a psychiater (because you really do need professional help) I also know it sounds crazy but you need to go into meditation and learn everything about the human chakra's ,this because the second chakra in your spiritual energy field gets highly unbalanced after a horrible thing such as a rape. Try to ask your bf once again if you can't stay with him, i mean it would be so nice if you had a decent place to stay. Oh well that's future music maby. You know, don't let your teachers , or your rapist controll the life that you live. You need to bring the power of your life back where it belongs, namely in your hands. Of course your right when you say they are to blame for the misery in your life, but you can't live by that standard, you have to separate yourself from the past,rebalance your life, and now it is a time to think about yourself. YOU are the most important thing, YOU need to make decisions , but you are also the one who is volunerable at the moment, you need help from government,psychiatrists, e-notalone, meditation and you definitly need to start loving,support, helping yourself again. And bringing the right people in your life. You are hurt and need to recover, heal and re-balance, and this is going to take a lot of hard work, however Can a human jump in one leap on a mountain? Of course not, we make many little steps to reach the top. You need to stop carrying too much hay on your fork, bring your life back in calmer waters,because if the load becomes too heavy you will fall. You need to prevent from falling ,because otherwhise it will take another so much extra energy to get up and your life back in order again. Find support *hugs*

Well basically it all depends on 'how close', or in love that person is with you. If that person isn't interested in you because of the break up or other reasons, then that person will back off and more or less forget and move on. If that person is high over heels, then that person won't stop thinking about you even if its years after.

A shy guy will mostly stare at you but never initiate contact. As such you are always forced to initiate the contact yourself. Just ask him to your home to make homework (ya right) and seduce him from there, if he isn't interested he'll ask you to back off, if he is interested he'll let you go more or less.

It all comes down to "YOU DONT WANT TO BE WITH A LIAR" Nice to hear that the pshycic was the real thing, i've been to one also and she was also dead on towards my situation.

The answer is easy, NC ing the bf during the pmt ing.

Im going to save this ,if you don't mind.

Yeah i have some good stuff, a longethe while i o a person on enotalone made this thread about relationship life lessons, i copied it, and know you'll will like it. i learned lessons that.....god willing, i will never forget or consciously repeat. i cannot go through that again. i am not willing to tangle with sick ppl anymore. i know there is nothing there for me. i am not willing to go around getting hastily and easily involved. i am not going to throw my life away for someone who doesnt care about me. i am not going to let men control me. i am going to listen to my instincts. i will do what i need to do to take care of me. i will spend time with my sister and ppl who genuinely like me. i will keep searching for real friends....the kind that remember me and forgive me and like me and want to know what's going on in my life. i now know that relationships have to be mutual.....it has to come more easily, there has to be give and take.....one person cannot do all the initiating and contacting. i now know how heavy and saddening loss can be. i know that i do not want anyone abusive in my life in the slightest way....it is not worth it. i have only lost and been hurt, i have never gained. i want ppl who will uplift me and make me feel happy, ppl who ask about my life because they care. i want to be around a guy that makes me laugh and smile, who tries to impress me, who thinks i am adorable, and special, and who tries to make things work with me. i want a guy that will choose me over his friends because he thinks i am precious (though i would not want to put him in that choice). i want a life with positives.......i want someone funny who shares my sense of humor...i want someone who likes spending time with me, who thinks i am sexy, who enjoys my body but also who i am as a person....i want to be kissed with open mouth kisses......i dont want a guy who turns his head away and wont kiss me. i want to be a kind, caring, giving person - i have seen an ugly side of a human being, and i consciously choose not to be that ugly inside. i realize that the only person that i need to look to to take care of me.......has been with me all along. it is myself!! here i was all the time..... i was running and running away from me. i could not like myself...i made bad choices, i was so sick. but im not willing to be like that.....i have an eternity to die but a brief moment to live so that no matter how painful, i will live my life through. i almost feel like it is love lost (but i mean, it was only two dates, silly me)....i really do like him as a person. but at least i still have me. and god willing, there will be more happiness, laughter, and humor in my life as well as forgiveness, health, and clarity. i told him that i was sad about what happened. and he said he was too. thanks for reading. and please pray good will for me if u can. i think i've been through too much junk. also have to add, i dont think i should be dating anyways. im too screwed up and i have too many issues to think clearly. it's good for me to be single and gain some independence......i am so reliant and attached to men, i am completely boy crazy sometimes. this way i am forced to be strong no matter how much i hate it. if only i could just cry this all out and let go of the feelings. life is pretty weird. i never really wanted him until i couldnt have him. Part 2 personal things i've learned from my break up -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I've heard that one part of healing from a break up is to come to conclusions about things you have learned from the relationship and break-up. I've learned some things in my personal relationship, and I just felt like sharing: 1) I've learned that I need to trust who I am with. I was very insecure with him. Basically, I need someone who will not fuel insecurities...someone that I know is into me and who does not have a wandering eye. 2) I need to stand up for my beliefs no matter how much a guy pressures me to make him happy...I need to recognize that I have a desire to please, and that can be exploited. 3) I shouldn't condemn a relationship when entering it. 4) When I know its over, I need to accept that. 5) I don't want a guy with a lot of female friends. 6) Don't allow yourself to get emotionally involved before you are ready to be emotionally involved. 7) Don't allow yourself to get physically involved, either! 9) Forgive. 10) Don't take it personal if the guy turns out to be a mean person...especially if you did not know him. 11) Look at a man's actions, not his words. 12) Understand that with every relationship, there is a risk for pain and hurt b/c you allow yourself to be vulnerable. 13) I've learned how to be Stronger, how to take pain in a way that I've never known....and perhaps to fuel that pain into something more positive. __________________ Very few people ever mature...But sometimes...awareness takes place--not very often and always inexplainable. There are no words for it because there is no one ever to tell. This is a secret not kept a secret, but locked in wordlessness. - Steinbeck As punishment for my contempt for authority, fate has made me an authority myself. Albert Einstein "You will change from someone who loves so much it hurts into someone who loves herself enough to stop the pain" “The most creative power given to the human spirit is the power to heal the wounds of a past it cannot change.”

What sane person wouldn't abandon a sinking ship? Your dad is right, get your az out of there. Even if there was a treasure on it( the girl if you like) what good is a treasure if you die drowning trying to save it? Honestly, you need to recognize the RED FLAGS in your life, the whole lying was enough to run away run away, they lured you into this misery. Now its time for you to make the decision to step out of it.

Think my jaw (just as everyone elses who read your story) fell open, what a devestating nightmare you have gone thru, and the nightmare still continues as you are still surrounded by people who don't seem to care about you. In these kind of cases its important you take care of yourself, and act like a castle gate , opening yourself to good people/things/events and closing yourself to bad people/things/events. Keep on looking for an oppertunity to get out of the house and to find a place for yourself. What you need to do first however is find VICTIM HELP. What you need in your life now is support from the RIGHT people. link removed here you can find help.

You are too tense, you first need to relax and get comfortable with him and his body. You need to 'allow' him to love you ,instead of layering it with all kinds of conditions. Sex isn't supposed to be torture(unless asked for but that goes to far for this thread) its supposed to be something you and him enjoy. Love eachother and make eachother happy.

Time to pack your bags and leave, eventually it comes down to that your not his nr.1 anymore in his life, and that if he feels a need to go out with other woman, then its finish with you. If you have any self respect you will pack your bags and leave. I know its more hard then hell, i've been in a triangle affair myself , i showed spine and refused the exuses, he simply just can't have it his way , if he pushes thru then he must suffer the consequenses. These shoes are made for walking, and that's just what they should do in this situation. Its sad about the past, but you should let it go, as what counts is what is happening to you today.

For girls a relationship is more about being together, and for a guy the sex plays a far bigger role in terms of intimacy, you need to explain to her that you have needs that need to be forfilled and that you feel rejected if she doesn't accept your intimacy with you, if she keeps on rejecting you i would break it up with her and find another gf that does forfill your needs.

All the what ifs are pretty useless, what matters is reality. So be realistic on how the situation is v.s how you want it to be. Again ask him out, if he goes something like 'no i can't yadayada' then you know he isn't interested. Don't write him anything, it just shows how desperate you are. Rather face him and ask him out directly in his face.

(since I was five years old about being a pastor's kid ) Explain again? Basically you wanted your dad to be a pastor =\ *confuzzeledazzeld*

Obviously if they are getting a divorce he has no saying on wether you can be with her or not. After the divorce and when they splitted up together, go visit her again, im sure you are welcome then again.

Tell her she's already betraying and hurting her bf's feelings, if she does stuff around his back with you. Its cheating and nothing less. (less as in reduced and not as in lesbian) doesn't matter if its with a woman or man, its cheating , and you are right for considering his feelings, i mean its really sad for him. So ask her to break it up with him, if she refuses to do this , then break up with her. Its hard to do the moralistic right thing, but its better to do that then end up in bad terms and thinking and knowing you did the wrong thing.

You need to realise that you can't 'own' a person, you can only love him, you should never go into a relationship expecting things to work out just because it concerns 'your case' reality is that a guy can pack his bags and leave anyday. It goes that way with all things, because life is like sand in your hand, eventually all of it wil slip from your hand. So you need to show you have a life of your own to live, bring the power of your life back where it belongs , namely in YOUR hands. A relationship is all about being together, but still letting eachother being able to do their own thing. So only bring love and light into eachothers lives. You don't need to worry about him in this way, if he leaves you fall back on your own life.