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About Me

  1. So my husband I have been married for over 13 yrs, and we just finally finished growing our family (had the amount of kids we wanted), and now I think (?) it's finally time for me to think about the future, not that I haven't been, it's just that I've been so incredibly sleep deprived or wrapped up in parenting that it's kind of been on the back burner... literally the last thing on my mind. I just had our 4th baby almost 8 months ago, and with all the COVID stuff, it's been hard, but not undoable. I don't have any help with the baby or managing my kids, outside of my husband (and he do
  2. I’m really struggling with some awful anxiety related to health. For context, I’m male 25. In short, I have been constantly worrying about the thought of having HIV. This first occurred last year around August time. I just started to have this panic of ‘what if what if what if’ that drove me into complete fear. So with everything happening, in September I decided to order a fully certified 15min self test kit to put my mind at rest. I have always had protected sex and the most recent occasion was around March of 2020 prior to lockdown so this was a full 6 months with no intimacy with anyo
  3. I have dealt with anxiety off and on for about 30 years (probably more, except I used to call it "stressing out"). Do those of you who experience anxiety find that it increases and decreases sometimes multiple times per day, even sometimes minute to minute? I am sitting in front of my computer attending a virtual training class, I felt OK, then out of nowhere I started feeling that familiar feeling where I can sense the anxiety creeping up. And sometimes it just slams me unexpectedly. Is this "normal" for anxiety sufferers?
  4. Basically I've been seeing a girl for a bit we're not official or anything, Hopefully soon I really like this girl, I don't want to rush it. Anyway I suffer from bad anxiety and I stress and overthink things like crazy, I find myself stressing a lot because of this girl, Shes not doing anything wrong. I stress when she doesn't reply for awhile, However I don't swarm her and she always gets back to me eventually however I can't stop stressing. She is still getting over her ex and she tells me I'm helping a lot with that. So basically how do I stop overthinking things and making up things in m
  5. My boyfriend (BF) (31) and I (23) have been in a relationship for 7 months and things are starting to get semi serious! I am debating moving in with him and getting a job in his town after grad school ends in May. He also wants to propose in August! This is a huge step for me, and I am getting a bit nervous about this because we had a very rocky start and I still get anxious about the things that happened in the beginning of our relationship. First, I want to mention the things that I love about him. I love his commitment to me. He has consistently been mentioning marriage to me and
  6. I'm not really sure where to even begin, but I think I'm starting to get a drinking problem. I don't drink every day and I don't crave it, but I do go out for drinks at least once a week. See the thing is, I don't just have a few drinks. I drink so much that I am not in control of my actions and I do really stupid . It's like I just don't know when to stop and the amount of alcohol that I actually consume is ridiculously high and whenever I'm really drunk I always intentionally make bad decisions, especially with boys. I sleep around and I have gotten with people that I'm not even into at all
  7. 2019 wasn't the best of my life, alone and at peace today, doing my own stuff for quite some months. This is a 6 months update on how am coping with anxiety, getting things right with my life. A relationship which i felt was going to be best for me & her turned out to be a very bad mistake. It was a never to be a relationship in the end, something i really shouldn't have put myself into without verifying facts and knowing well the person am getting involved with. Boundaries were crossed, i lost respect for myself in the end. While getting through it i started developing lot of se
  8. So I have been whining a lot about my anxiety, depression and fear. I would like to try to turn it around. So I am going to drop some happy/cheerful/funny thoughts here. My first one...I think it's a hoot that Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg are friends. It's so awesome that two people who come from completely different walks of life can get along so well. I also am a fan of Fred Chang who was a contestant on Master Chef US. Just adore him. Anyone have anything to add?
  9. here's something i said i wouldnt do on another post and that's start a journal. ---lies. im bored, lonely and think it would be good to let out feelings and get things off my chest. i will be rambling. it will be random. but it will be real. about me; im 31, female, and i live in atlanta. i work for myself and dont have alot of friends. the ones i do have i dont hang with like that. this makes my life very isolated. when i was younger this didnt bother me but now it does. im in a relationship now for 4 yrs. with a guy we will call chad. he works alot and doesnt make time for me like he sho
  10. I have a bit of a strange request. I am currently in an LDR with someone who used to engage in casual sex and FWB. He's completely loyal and devoted to me and obviously gave all of that up once we got into a relationship. Personally I have very little sexual experience because I always figured it is something to be shared with someone special. And while I'm sure that I must have met people in my life who have engaged in casual sex, I've never met anyone who's admitted to it so it is a very 'out there' idea for me. I've never understood how someone as sweet and caring as him could do somet
  11. Hi, I'm late 30s and have recently started dating a women (10 dates in, including two weekends together) and it's been going brilliantly, in fact I have never felt this sure about someone so far. We completely click and we have been enjoying every moment together. Last night though she said she misses me already (we had met the day before), and that it feels strange/scary for her because she doesn't want to feel that way and it's making her feel really anxious, also that she's feeling terrified of letting another human into her life and that she feels she has been too open with her f
  12. I think he plays a roll in our fights, as well as me - we tend to trigger each other’s anxieties when we fight. But I feel a majority is me. I get this ocd anxiety whenever I’m in a long term relationship and I’ve let it ruin too many of them. If I can just get a handle on this we could get to a different place. We had something, and I don’t want to walk away without knowing that I tried everything and fought for it. It sounds so dumb looking back - one morning on the trip, he showed me a video on Facebook where a guy walked up to someone and said “now that’s a big pile of !”..and the per
  13. Been out of work for 3 months now, and so I have been battling with mixed feelings. Anxiety, uncertainty...but also hope and faith. I wonder how you are feeling at this point? What do you consider the most challenging phase when it comes to huge changes like this? Thanks.
  14. Hi, I looking for advice. I am a 39 year old male and I have recently started dating a 35 female. On our first date we really clicked and had such a great time together. She has a young daughter and there is about an hours drive between us so we messaged a lot and planned a second date, several times she had cancel the second date due to having no one to look after her daughter. We did eventually make it and again had such a good time. After this we kept in touch and started arranging our 3rd date, this proved difficult again and she had to put if of a few times, during this time she mentioned
  15. I cant stop obssesing about my partner staying in touch with an old lover. He has been secretive about it and I've snooped his phone. He knows. I feel bad about it too but proves my fears. I wake up anxious at night. Is our relationship ruined? We have been seeing eachother for more than 2 years, we had a miscarriage right at the beginning of the relationship, the pregnancy was unplanned.. ive gotten over it and we have understood we shouldn't put ourselves in that scenario if things are so shaky. He's fantasized about having 2 partners and even though I thought i could deal with at the beginn
  16. Hi everyone, This is my first time consulting the internet for relationship advice. So bear with my brevity if there aren't as many details as there should be. Anyways, I have been in a relationship with a girl now for about 3 years. I proposed to her January of this year and everything has been going fantastic. Just a couple months ago, she met my mom's side of the family and we had a blast (we are currently long-distance). However, I started to be complacent with little things in the relationship. I wouldn't respond to all of her messages, I wasn't the best listener, etc
  17. I know this is a long post. I’ll put a TLDR at the end for anyone who doesn’t want to read the whole thing (TLDR=Too long, didn’t read.) I have OCD, clinically diagnosed. I was in therapy for about 5 years until very recently when my therapist retired. A lot of people don't understand this disorder. People think it's all about cleanliness, even numbers, etc. I suppose it is that for some people but not for me. Intrusive thoughts are more my thing. So anyway, back in 2006 I had the worst episode of anxiety/depression of my life. I was married at the time and I kept having dre
  18. I have had a bad relationship with my body for about 10+ years now. My anxiety around my body comes and goes throughout the years, but it has flared up recently since dating my new boyfriend (now of 7 months). He has the typical "perfect" body - essentially no body fat, nice chest, six pack abs, etc... I however do not have a body like that - I'm not fat and I'm not skinny, just average. My body is bleh in my opinion. He says he finds me really attractive and that he likes my body, but obviously I can't believe him in the slightest, because why would he like my body when his is significantly b
  19. Last night we had a talk about her problems with her mother, we talked about it and given the situation I also decided to talk to her about what was nagging me since we were sharing things. I have anxiety issues and one of the main problems I face is being able to talk and be myself in groups of people, regardless of who they are. What I wanted to talk to her about was not being able to feel comfortable when I talk with my friends online (voice call) and she is also around in the same room. Now don't get me wrong, this is my problem, and I am not saying I feel uncomfortable because of he
  20. Does anybody have any tips for when your mind is just running wild and your anxiety is making you paranoid about everything? I have a tendency to get caught in a downward spiral of overthinking and overanalyzing and imagining the absolute worst case scenarios for everything, and sometimes it gets so bad that I just feel totally overwhelmed. I try to remind myself that these thoughts are probably due much more to my anxiety than they are to anything logical or rational, but there are days when even that doesn't help. Anybody else with anxiety have any helpful methods that they use to deal with
  21. Hi there. So just to give you all a little background about me first: I'm 30 years old, I live in east coast USA, I work full-time, I live on my own in a one-bedroom apartment, I'm independent, college educated, no kids, single, people view me as an attractive man but my self esteem issues have me thinking otherwise; I'm just a hair under six feet tall, 160 pounds, I have an athletic build, I'm clean shaven always (I can't grow a beard, tried it once and it didn't work), and as of a few months ago I now have a mullet hairstyle (long in the back, trimmed up front). I have struggled with depr
  22. The anxiety is killing me. It took me too long to cut him off...I’m not a medical professional, but from past experience I know he’s narcissistic. I should have known better and cut him off from the beginning. He literally strung me along for over a year...killed my self esteem. During the pandemic, he was spending a lot of time with me which just made me feel closer to him. He made excuses as to why he never invites me to his promoter friends events which I expressed many times I want to go to. Well, I saw him post a story on IG and there was a girl there he seemed super friendly with, but sa
  23. Looking for some advice. I am all out of ideas. My husband suffers from anxiety. This condition is fueled around my family side of the family and their get-togethers and holidays. This has not always been the case (early in dating and marriage things were ok). Now (about 7 years in) he refuses to attend most things. I’ve tried to be understanding but we have children and showing up alone so much is becoming pretty saddening to me and I’m struggling explaining how well-meaning people are causing him stress and anxiety. I usually try and make up an excuse to diffuse the questions. My husband
  24. My bf and I have been together for a year now. Recently I have brought up that he needs to listen to me and stop cutting me off when I am talking. Also, if I try to talk to him about issues in our relationship, like the cutting me off, he gets very emotional and starts to cry. I don't want to be insensitive, but I feel like I never get to express my feelings because he gets upset and I have to console him. This weekend I got very upset with him after he very rudely cut me off in front of his family on a "vacation" when I was trying to tell him the information I found about the solution to his
  25. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with anxious/abandonment issues? Since I was a child (I'm 47 now) I've had an anxious style of attachment and seem to continue involving myself with avoidant types. I feel like I continue to try and "learn" the same lesson over and over. How do I become more secure within myself and not be afraid to make hard decisions just because I'm afraid of being alone or not finding the right person?
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