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About Me

  1. So I'm 23 and it was the day before I moved across the country so I stayed at my father and his new wife's house. The morning I was going to leave his wife went to work so my dad and I decided we should go to breakfast as we usually do. He came out in a towel and hugged me telling me how much he was going to miss me. He started rubbing my back, then he moved his hand to my lower back and went under my shirt rubbing my back. I tried to pull out of the hug as I felt super weirded out and uncomfortable. He then kissed me super soft and sensually on the lips (I've pecked my mom on the lips for yea
  2. ppp86

    Trust issues

    Hi I am looking for some advice possibly from someone who is in or has been in a similar situation to me in the past. I have been with my partner for 3 years and our life is almost perfect apart from one niggling matter that comes up alot when we have a drink.. mostly on my part. a year ago i found out he had been messaging a girl from his past behind my back, telling her she looked amazing etc. i believe thats all it was as he has promised me this. and to most people i guess this is nothing to worry about. but i do. all the time. before i met my oh i was in a relationship for 10 years w
  3. I am a 23 year old female . I grew up within the African culture where spanking your child is okay , you got spanked at school at home so that was the norm. Moving to US was different , and I have always felt ok with being disciplined if I had done something wrong but I feel like there is things that are too far . While in highschool I was in the soccer team , both of my parents were very overprotective, I couldn’t really do anything hangout with friends , i had to lie even when I was going to hangout with my best friend sometimes. One time after school I had forgotten to mention that I had s
  4. I’m very confused about my partner. We have been together for close to two years. About two months ago I abruptly kicked him out of my house. He has been physically and emotionally abusive for quite some time now with some change but not enough for me to trust him living with me. The problem is he is living with his ex-wife until he gets a place of his own and it’s wearing on us. He is hiding our relationship from his family. Because of this we don’t connect the way we used to. My emotions are a roller coaster and we fight so much because I feel he’s negative and he feels I am negative. I ha
  5. I have an unusual situation. 6 months ago I started talking to a girl online who was having relationship issues with her now ex-boyfriend. We became very close friends, and had a really strong genuine connection. We would talk for 6+ hours easily without even realizing. All contact was always initiated by her. I'm 30(M), she's 23. She's very self-destructive with relationships. She chooses guys who treat her horribly simply because she finds them attractive. Honestly, I started developing feelings for her, despite knowing we could never have a relationship (I couldn't ever trust her, s
  6. I have been in a relationship with my BF for 5 years. For the entire relationship he was working in a very toxic environment which fed into his addictive qualities, he worked long hours, was constantly under huge amounts of stress, went in on days off, HATED the job but could not leave. (He ended up there when he left an abusive relationship and grew up with an abusive father). The culmination of all his misery and self loathing was getting involved with a co-worker right before the pandemic. She was from what he says, an abuser too and threatened him. I knew he was in a very bad place wh
  7. I dont know if this is the correct section to post this since it includes many types of relationships so I am going to post it here and it will be probably moved. So I am 27 y old woman, I have been in two long term relationships, first (4years) being abusive and the second one(5years) with an emotionally unavaliable boyfriend. Breaking up this May left me completely scarred, unable to love and trust. I am not over my last long term, we are still talking once in a while, I miss him a lot and love him and I am trying to forgive and accept what our relationship was and that we tried our bes
  8. That my husband and his family, who have acted like my family over the last decade, wouldn't validate my belief that I experienced emotional abuse. I don't know why I want the validation so badly, but it hurts that I was made to feel like a little girl whining about normal husband and wife fighting and that I'm too soft for marriage. My husband said he's remorseful (and definitely seemed distraught) but he refuses to agree to the term abuse, which was important to me. Like, am I crazy? I find it abusive to threaten divorce, to fight with me to the point that I'm crying and continue to do so, t
  9. My grandmother did drugs when she was raising my mother, specifically in high school. Because of that my mother had a horrible childhood. However...my grandmother got clean towards the last 20 years of her life. She was able to be a great grandmother to me. She took on the role of the second parent and partially raised me: picked me up from school, was there when I got home, was excited to ask me about my day. I feel that me being born gave my grandmother and grandfather a chance to be viewed in a new light without a past and they were grateful for that treated me like a princess. Howe
  10. I (M52) was in a relationship with a woman (42) for 3 years and I really believed I would spend the rest of my life with her. She is renting a house and living with her adult daughter and her boyfriend plus her 17 year old son. I have a pretty unconventional lifestyle (vegan, minimalist, organic, no car, etc.) and she expressed a desire to become more environmentally conscious as well. However, her kids were raised pretty standard American and to avoid me feeling too judgemental about the wastefulness, or the kids becoming resentful of me when I am pushing for less wastefulness, we decided to
  11. I was sexually abused by my older brother when I was a child. From what I recall, the bulk of the abuse took place when I was 6 to around 11. However I do remember he tried to do it again when I was 12, and at that stage, I knew it was wrong, and managed to get away. He is five years older than me. I think my mother knew what was happening. I once kicked in the glass front door in a temper when they left us alone and she asked me "do you be alright with him here by yourself". The abuse has shaped my life in many ways. For years, I identified as lesbian. It's only over the last few years I
  12. I was in a relationship with a woman for 3 years and I really believed I would spend the rest of my life with her. She is renting a house and living with her adult daughter and her boyfriend plus her 17 year old son. I have a pretty unconventional lifestyle (vegan, minimalist, organic, no car, etc.) and she expressed a desire to become more environmentally conscious as well. However, her kids were raised pretty standard American and to avoid me feeling too judgemental about the wastefulness, or the kids becoming resentful of me when I am pushing for less wastefulness, we decided to wait to liv
  13. I was sexually abused as a child and I am still obviously processing that. My boyfriend of two years knows this, I have always been open with it. The other day, in passing, I saw he had the Lolita (1962) film by Spielberg on his computer. I sort of was a bit shocked, I knew that he has read it and thought it was a very good/impressive piece of literature. I just thought it odd he had the film as he was so repulsed by the book and said he wanted to read it only because it was regarded so well as a piece of literature. I asked him why he had the film, therefore, and he was quite coarse, sayi
  14. I just got out of a toxic relationship and a failed toxic friendship with my ex. He was extremely emotionally abusive, always snapped at me, always made me feel like I should feel privileged he's still talking to me, even after our breakup (he broke up with me) he still played with my emotions by keeping me constantly in his back pocket/radar. I wasn't innocent either but I feel like my negative qualities rooted from the mind games. We had a strong emotional connection where I could say anything on my mind, he is the first person I've let inside my head like that and it feels like I won't find
  15. I'm hoping this is a good place to meet new people. I am beginning the long process of separating from my husband of 25+ years in march and having people to talk to during the rough spots would be helpful. My marriage is toxic. My husband is toxic. I've learned a lot in order to be able to do what I am about to do. Never-the-less, he still triggers me as I'm so much more sensitive than I used to be, but I am thankful to be able to see clearly for the first time in decades. He doesn't have the power to gaslight me anymore and I have nothing to loose between him and I. What is going to be diffi
  16. My mom recently broke her wrist and back in a fall. I want to go see her this weekend. However , when I even come to think of it I just feel like I need to throw up . It reminds me of one of my very first memories. Unfortunately one of my first memories is of abuse to my mother and myself. When I was four my mother had fallen down the basement steps carrying my brother. She had broken her tailbone . She sent me running to go find my dad . Unfortunately at the time he was screwing the neighbour and kept telling me to “F off stupid , you’re bugging me. “ I remember feeling so helpless an
  17. I am on a journey of healing from abuse and in recovery from addiction. I have made strides and am feeling better than ever. My family won't let go. I am living with them at almost 30 years old, and as the scapegoat I am told that this is because I am too sick to take care of myself. That might be why I moved back home initially, yet that was YEARS ago--and since then I have completed a certification to change careers and paid off loads of debt. Plus I'm sober and the only one in my family in therapy (how is that possible). As I grow more and more capable, their sickness becomes more apparent.
  18. My boyfriend and I were together for almost two years, we had serious plans for the future and were deeply in love. In February (while we were in bed) I told him about the sexual abuse I had suffered for most of my childhood (he already knew about it but I told him the whole story). I told him everything that happened and cried (for the first time in my life) about it. He held me, comforted me and told me how much he loved me. I told him that I’d accepted what had happened but I wouldn’t know how to handle it if I found out there were victims after me (since I never reported it to the police,
  19. Disjointed thoughts, rambles and some cliches in the middle: Many years ago I was in an extremely abusive relationship. It was a few years during my most formative years that took decades out of me. This person degraded me on many levels and I went through hell. My closest friends and family know parts of the story, but what I think no one really knows was that I forgave what this person did to me (on an emotional level, not on a "lets get back together/lets talk" level I blocked and deleted this person from my life ever since and don't want to ever interact with them as I know he's toxic n
  20. This could potentially be quite long, however I would appreciate any guidance. When I was at school, aged 15, I was emotionally manipulated by one of my teachers who was a woman. I, myself, am female and it was an extremely confusing time for me as I had never had any feelings towards a woman before I had met her, aside from looking up to celebrities and other role models. The first time I met her she took me in so easily, I was mesmerised by her charm, her essence of being was something I had never seen before, so confident and bubbly. Anyway, after a month of having her teaching me, we st
  21. I need help to identify if this was a dangerous action from my boyfriend. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years now. He is 28 and I am 27. My boyfriend is the sweet shy, type, but also playful and funny. He is usually very patient with me, and takes his time to listen, and has never threatened violence, or has ever abused me verbally, or pushed me to anything I dont want. However we do have our fights now and then. I am a really anxious girl and sometimes I take out my frustrations on him by just saying some mean things. And he is rather stubborn with his opinions and he reall
  22. Hello! Really need some advice on this! I am 29 and have been in 4 physically abusive relationships. In fact the last one tried to kill me. This was 3 years ago and I have been single ever since. I taught myself how to self love and work on ME! I am probably partially afraid to get back into dating because of my past as well. So about 6 months ago a guy comes into my life. I have known him for 10 years but we never got close like this before. He lives across the country and came out to visit me for a week. It was a very nice visit and the plan ended up being that he would move in w
  23. I'm16 and recently my mum has been extremely physicalwhile trying to have power overme : for instance, just now I came back from a football club I teach with my Dad and afterwards I got a McDonalds. I called and asked if she wanted anything and she said no but I went to McDonald's, my dad bought me a meal and I bought my self an ice cream cone and a sundae for my mum. When I got home I asked if she wanted it as I bought it for her and she said yes. I had a couple of scoops of it to try because I thought I could have a little as I bought it. She had a go at me for ages and continued to scream a
  24. My fiance and I have been together for 5 years. Although he is a loving, attentive and caring partner, he is also a bit controlling and had a few problems with my independence. In the last couple years our relationship was not going so great. But we still had many good moments that made everything worth it, and we were making efforts to adjust to each other’s needs, which was not so easy: I am the independent type, more career-oriented, while he is more romantic and focused on family and relationship. Also, he has bipolar disorder and refuses to treat it, letting it spill into our relationship
  25. The abusive alcoholic Its been a while since i’ve been here but i need help. Im suffering as the guy i’ve been with for a year has been awful to me. Im embarrassed and ashamed. He is a functioning narcissistic alcoholic who refuses to acknowledge it. He says he drinks to relax. Well large bottles of straight liquor a day to me is not relaxing as one glass of wine is. He”s an angry drunk too. He refuses to spend time with me now, has poor hygiene won’t tend to his foot odor, won’t brush his teeth, spends only about 2 minutes in shower so he never really smells good, has verbally abused me
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