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  1. My ex is and what he did is really getting to me, I know it sounds selfish but I wish I could just keep being hurt or me hurting myself non stop as I'm finding it hard and I'm really feeling ***ed up. I honestly, do not know if what he did can keep me alive, I feel so hopeless and alone and my head is full of rubbish I cannot cope I really just want a hug 😭
  2. So, I keep harming myself for what my ex did and left me with, bruises scars memories of horrid times etc, but for some reason I'm punishing myself for his actions, 50 part of me says its not ur fault but the other 50 says it is your fault, so I cannot decide and I feel alone in my head waiting for me to stop but I'm gonna reach out for support. I've felt really low since he raped me, yes I know I should of got help but he took away everything, any mobile device I had to contact anyone etc so I had no one to reach out to. He'd also threaten me if I told anyone what was happening I'd be dead, but that's when I started self harming which really made me plumit down because self harm is a pain relief well for me it is but the pain still comes back which sucks but right now I'm working with police to move on from this man!! I'm feeling so much stronger since I left him and moved away so he can't find me etc and now I'm working with police for my safety!!
  3. On Tuesday, my Grandpa died. He was the smartest man I knew. Out of everyone I could have had as a hero, he was mine. He came off as a stern man, but underneath it all he was a real sweet man. He loved to hunt and fish and knew everything about everything, or I sure thought so. Today was the funeral, it didn't even look like him, they put way too much make up on him. I got 3 roses that layed on top of his...whatever you call it. I sit here crying tonight thinking about him, knowing I'll never get to see him again, I'll never get to go fishing with him again, and he'll never teach me how to water ski. But I do know, that he is in Heaven, that he isn't suffering anymore, that his life was well lived and he is in a much better place now. Then, I have a friend, who abuses her body. I think of it as abusing. Because she just has sex with pretty much whoever. Sure there are some people she wouldn't but she is 15 and has had sex with 8 or 9 guys. She gives them what they want. And she doesn't have to. She deserves better. I'm worried about her. And I sit here crying because I feel so helpless. I don't know what to do. I can't help her until she is willing to help herself. I told her what I thought because I got sick of sitting on the sidelines, without saying a word. Then she went out with a guy 20 minutes later. I told her she didn't have to, she could take it back. She said she already said yes and that she was lonely. Well I am too. But she went. What can I do? I know there is something better for her. God didn't put her here for her to live her life this way. She doesn't believe in God, by the way. under*
  4. I have posted a few time after going through hell with my bf for 3yrs we broke up a few days ago. He gave me no reasons told me he was over it and that he didnt love me and hasnt for a long time. He was very distant when i asked why he jus dismissed me. So i thought i had better not make a fool of myself and went on my merry way. Needless to say it feels like i have been crying for three days i have forgotten what food is and when sleep does finally come i dream of him. Anyway he rang me yesterday on a private number and said that he is sorry and the reason he broke up with me was because he could never marry me anyway (he is muslim and i am christian) and he was making up excuses to make me let go. This hurt me even more because he dragged me along for so long so i politely excused myself from the conversation and am hoping he doesnt cause any trouble for me. Im finding it so hard after 3yrs of being togther every day to nothing. I kno i am better off without him, he cheated on me, he called me names and he was abusive. But i got so used to hanging out for any scrap of affection i became more attatched. How do i stop crying and move on with life and forget about him?
  5. I want out of my relationship so bad. I am so scared. I am scared to leave because my bf is so violent. I'm scared that he will hurt my family if I leave him. The only way out is for me to hurt myself. I can't take the pain and abuse any longer. I just want out and I don't see any other way to do it.
  6. I just lived a lifetime soap opera in the span of 4 months. Now I know that some may brush off 4 months as not being much time to really establish a serious relationship, but in this case things got very close very quickly. A little background about her and how we met: Out of the blue I had a girl I used to go to school with recognize my ad on the Yahoo personals. It would be an understatement to say that we grew very close very quickly! Started out talking on the phone for 2 to 3 hours a night for the first 2 weeks, before we ever met. It turned out that she had just left a 6 year abusive relationship. Bad enough that he hit her and threw her around a couple of times, but the mental abuse was even worse! A few highlights, or shall I say low lights of their relationship: 2 abortions, the abuser suing her two brothers after they beat him up after learning of the physical abuse, he made a list of the ex-boyfriends she had sex with from past relationships and sent copies to each ex-boyfriend, pushed his way into her Mom's house and trashed the place, ect... The most perplexing thing of all of this is that they continually kept getting back together with each other, so I know it's as much her fault as it was his. Not to say she has any blame for the initial abuse, but still stunned as to why she keeps going back. One other nugget of info, she's a drop dead gorgeous, 38 year old woman, and he's a very overweight, un-attractive 41 year old guy. Safe to say, he couldn't find another girl like her in a million years; and he still treated her like dirt. So 2 months into this relationship, things were going phenomenal in all aspects of the relationship! I'm loving life because I was fortunate to meet someone I knew in high school, that by all appearances was beautiful, intelligent, had a good job, and who's personality just clicked with mine from the start. One Saturday morning we were discussing the possible financing of a new house and 3 hours later, she's an emotional mess who doesn't resemble the person I knew at all. To cut to the chase, 2 days later she tells me she wants out of the relationship. She was going back to the abuser! Seems she had to try one more time with him for every dream her and I planned on. Talk about being used! I was angry, disappointed, hurt, and confused. I had a couple 10 minute conversations with her and sent her a couple of emails. I never at any time asked her to come back or pleaded in any way. The only points I stressed were what a disaster this guy's been to her for 6 years and that she was about to lose every dream she had by letting him screw her life up once and for all. Her response was basically cold, heartless, unfeeling, and dismissive. So I threw up my my hands and walked away from it. Two weeks later there is a crying, absolute hysterical, phone message left on my machine saying, "everything you said that would happen is happening, you were right, I just wanted you to know that you were right". After two short dates with the ex he started up with the mental abuse and she broke down suddenly realizing the gravity of everything she did, and how horrible she treated me. Maybe a mistake, but I tried calling her back and got no answer, she had turned off the answering machine and let the phone ring. As much as I was disgusted with her and happy that everything blew up in her face, the exteme sounding message on my machine had me worried for her safety. Yes I thought he may of beat her again; and if he did she wouldn't call to tell anyone about it. So I take a ride to her house to check on her. Physically she is okay, but I still had a few things on my mind and I rip into her about how bad she treated me, how this guy is going to destroy her if he hasn't already, and what a mistake she made not giving our relationship enough time. Lo an behold, the next night there's a thank you message left on my machine. My biggest mistake, returning the call! We get back together (yup I was the rebound guy) and now things are full bore ahead. We set time frames and discuss details on getting married, buying a house together, and having a baby. Everything seems to clear sailing for 3 weeks, and then boom, that mean, cold hearted woman, that I first met during the first breakup rears her ugly head. Suddenly she has a comment and criticism about everything I or anyone else around her does. Extreme mood shifts that seem to occour hour to hour! We spend a wonderful Christmas together, couldn't of went any better until late that night when it all fell apart. During the first breakup, after she dumped me, I told her during one of our phone calls that before all of this garbage went down, I was planning on proposing to her on Christmas or New Year's Eve. At the time I told her she brushed it off like it was nothing. But later that Christmas night, she breaks down in tears. When I ask why the tears, she tells me that, "she thought I was going to propose to her", and that she thought I didn't want her anymore because of what had happened with the ex-boyfriend. I assured her, that the 2 things I wanted most in the world were to marry her and have a baby with her. I assured her that not getting the proposal that night meant nothing, that I had other plans in the works, and I did! Next day starts off and she's very affectionate. Curls up on me and tells me that she loves me, so everything seemed to be okay. A couple hours pass and here comes that mean and nasty personality again. Having had enough of the attitude from her, I start to give it back to her. Nothing nasty mind you, just a rebuke of her attitude when she gets in these nasty moods and I leave. I leave a message for her that night, and no response. Call her at work the next day, says she can't talk and will call me back, but never does. Call her at home the next afternoon, and out it comes. "I want to be alone"! Blames it all on herself and her mood swings, yes this is a girl who is on depression medication. Being totally stunned and stung once again, I'm speechless and don't say the things I want to say. So like the last breakup I send the proverbial two emails. Neither email asks her to come back. The email was to inform her that the propsal she was so upset about not getting was scheduled to happen on Valentine's day and the other email was a let me get it off my chest email. Though the second email wasn't nasty, it was brutally honest and I stand by everything I wrote. No respone to either email. I let a week pass and pick up the phone. I don't want to ask her back, I just want to know how you go from tears and planning a life with someone, to not wanting to see them anymore. She picks up the phone and again is cold and heartless. You would've never known I was the guy she was planning a life with a few days back! She doesn't want to talk at all, I can't even get the question in before she hangs up. Call me a glutton for punishment, but given how close we were and the plans we had, I thought I was owed and honest explination. Disgusted by the whole experience I take the dog for a walk. When I return, there is a long message left on my machine. Not a nasty message, just a list of reasons on why she wanted out. They were: 1)She doesn't like herself when she is with me. She feels guilty acting nasty at times when she is with me because I don't act like that with her; 2) She siad, "It just wasn't there at the end" and that she fell for the things we talked about faster than she fell for me 3) That she could never be the person I wanted her to be and it was causing her more stress. I never asked her to be anyone but herself, but I would call her on things when she was rude; 4) That I never really knew the real her (inferring that these mood swings is who she is; 4) That she wants me to find someone else. Now every fibre of my brain says, run away, and run away fast! Yet I'm sick. I saw everything that could've and should've been get tossed away. Now like so many I sit on that seesaw of emotions. What went wrong so fast. How do you break down in tears because you expected a proposal and than cast someone off as though they had no meaning in your life? I'm a realist and know that things were going to have to change with her even if we stayed together. The mood swing were becoming extreme and worse yet, they were over minor things. The hardest part is that I saw her during some really great and happy times, and this person I've seen these 2 times seems like a stranger. Yet this was the same stranger that days later called me with that hysterical message and then called me the next night asking if and how she could patch things up. So when she tells me the things on the message, are they to be believed or is this just how she feels for this 2 or 3 week period? I know you can't make someone come back to you, and I've never tried with her, she came back on her own accord. Now I'm sick and know the only ting I can do is let her go. The last contact we had was 5 days ago when she left her message. I know any contact from here on out from me will have the opposite effect. The only odd thing is that she owes me a small amount of money that she has promised to have to me by the middle of February. Beyond the No Contact rule, I'm at a loss on how to play this one. If anyone has any advice I'd greatly appreciate the input. Sorry for the length of this message, but it actually feels a little better just typing it out for others to see.
  7. I am 25 years old and living in Tennessee. All of my life i have been really spoiled (more a less), I havnt had all that great of a childhood. If a childhood at ALL... Going through sexual abuse, physcial abuse and verbal abuse... Like you aint worth crap! But now it is absolutely falling down on me like bricks. I have been hooked on Drugs and Alcohol for about 5 years. I have been clean 6 months now. I go to counseling, pyschiatrist, shrinks, case managers. A/A! Nothing seems to lighten me up and make me feel better. The depression is horrible. I have a g/f that I have been with for 2 yeares. She is 6 months clean also. She lives with her dead husbands parents and her depression is really crazy! The deal is I still live with my parents and the tense surroundings are about to drive me to the edge. There is no couragement. I have no job and when I do have a job they usually make me late just about everyday. My g/f is good at taking me and picking me up but she is not allowed anywhere near my house because of parents and brothers that live 40 miles away say if they catch her around me they will hurt her. So i havnt seen none of my brothers in over a year. They are very selfish and dont care about nothing but themselves. It hurts me BAD!! I have told DR after DR I suffer from extreme anxiety. Sitting here right now thinking of who is going to read this makes me extremely sick to my stomach. I cant go on no more like this. I have spoken to my g/f cause we are having problems. I am not capable of taking care of her at the moment. I have no motivation what so ever. I have had over 200 jobs in 7 years. Never once held one more than a week. Most people would say go ahead and kill yourself you aint worth crap!!! I have showed a little interest in college for Law Enforcement. My family tells me I cant do it because I cant get out of bed long enough. DUHHH????? WONDER WHY? I have $500 coming to me in about 2 weeks. I have no car nor no where to go. I want me and my g/f to just go! Get out of here and start our own lives where we can be comfortable and together. Cause I HATE being alone and nothing to do. Does anyone have any ideas or opinions of what I could do? I am up to my neck in this stuff and today for some reason I am almost to the breaking point. I am hurting I dont want to feel like this no more. Medication dont help because I usually abuse it or I dont take it because im scared it will make me relapse. Drugs and Alcohol are far from my mind and I want to stay that way. HELP!!
  8. Hey, One of my teachers (like 50 years old and married) has been touching me a lot lately. In the hall after school when I was working on my science project, he came out of his art studio and put his arm around me. He said "I love seeing girls with power tools. Especially you" and then he started rubbing my back and shoulder. When ever he walks by in our classroom, he puts his hand on the back of my chair and his other on my shoulder. He also rubbs my arm as he walks by and compliments me a lot more than the other students. What is this considered? What should I do?
  9. Well, I know it was probably abuse, but I don't know how severe it was or how profoundly it impacted my life. I've only told one person ever, my first love whom I am no longer with. When I was 5, I had just moved into a new neighborhood. Another girl my age lived accross the street, and we'd play together a lot. One day she suggested we go into her walk-in closet. She shut the door and said she wanted to play "mommy-daddy" and she laid on the floor. She took off her underwear and told me to sit on top of her with my underwear off, too,(like woman-on-top sex) and gently bounce up and down. I wasn't sure if I wanted to, but I really wanted a new friend because I was so young and new to the town/neighborhood. Anyways, we ended up doing that several other times, but it only lasted for that one summer, then it stopped. I never really wanted to do it, but she did and I just went along with it in order to not lose her as a friend. Later in adolescence, once I started dating, I noticed I had big intimacy problems, I basically avoided any physical form of affection from boys as much as I possibly could. I had huge anxiety problems when a guy tried to make out with me or touch me in any way. Only until recently have I considered my childhood sexual encounter as a possible reason for this. Should I tell my parents or confront a therapist about it?
  10. Hello everyone. As you probably all know, I seem to get myself into a lot of hurtful situations. I seem to find the people who are either hurtful or abusive in some way. I am worried that a legacy of pain is following me around. My mom suffered greatly in her life due to her father's relentless verbal attacks on her. She was hospitalized several times in her life due to acute mental distress. it wasn't until her 40's that she was able to find some healing. But the way her father treated her is how she has treated me most of my life. I love my mom, but she has always hurt me so much. Just tonight she called me and told me I was selfish and that I didn't need anyone in my life. She has told me that no one would ever want to be with me, that I need to go live in a home...She has threatened to cut off any suspport she has given me, told me she disowned me, etc. The years of this pain continue, and I don't always know what to do. What I am worried about is....perpetuating this pain. I do not want to extend this toward others. Do you think I look for abusive people because I think pain equals love? Do you think I try to rescue people because of how much hurt I feel inside my own heart? Could it be I look for people who have issues because I know they will essentially hurt me....and the pain cycle continues? When I think of love, I think of grief, yet at the same time I long for love that means comfort and happiness.....but I somehow only find loss and devestation. Do you think there is a chance I can find love that is peaceful, that is confort, that is gentleness? Sometimes it is so hard to believe I am a good person..I hear my mom's voice....and I don't know what is true....is she right? It feels wrong sometimes to think I am a good person......because my whole life I have been told that I am not. So what is true? I feel a prisoner to my anxiety and grief. I feel like no one would want to deal with me....I want so much to give...to give love.....I don't want people to be afraid of me.......I am trying to be stronger each day.....I want feel alive....I dream of a sweet, joyful love....a family...i don't want to continue the cycle of pain that has hurt my mom, and has hurt me...... If anyone can relate....please share....thank you all.....
  11. Well I have just uncovered a bombshell courtesy of my friend. Turns out the person I was seeing was abused by her jerk ex-boyfriend. My friend said something to the effect of she saying "well I can see how she feels loved when shes beaten" when describing her friends ordeal regarding being beaten. Yeah. So here I come along and I'm a complete 180, totally nice and caring and wind up dumped. I'm just at a loss for words. Can someone explain this to me? I just... I dont know.
  12. Hello all at enotalone.I have a serious question. There is this girl.Her name is liz and she is a cheerleader at my school.I hate her.I have hated hr for as long as i can remember.She is a snobby preppy peron who dislikes all who dont cheer.Even though i hate her,i still want to help her.Let me explain. About 2 days ago at school,i saw liz with 5 or 6 bruises on her legs.She told me that they were from cheerleading practice.Today she had 5 or 6 bruises on her arms.I am now suspicious.I know that her stepdad has pushed her around a bit,i am wondering if he has done this. If anyone can tell me how to help ior find out i would appreciate.Not even liz deserves to get abused. ~Meagan~
  13. Ok I knew this Matt kid for awhile now, and I was always in love with him. He went out with all my friends and I thought he would never ask me out, til the day he did. That day we had sex, and he told me we would be together for a long time, a few days later he broke up with me. I was so hurt. He started to run his mouth about me sayin I was ugly....when trust me im not im beautiful. And he was sayin how he had to use 3 rubbers to have sex with me. Everyone in high school wanna beat me up cuz of him. And yesterday I was with his sister, and he came over to me and hit me I punched him and he grabbed my arm started to punch me in my head shoved me into the wall pushed me into a bike and I was layin on the ground cryin my eyes out. My arm was gushin blood too, from a knife he was holdin. He didnt say sorry either. Im so hurt, and scared I need to watch my back now. I made a mistake losin my virginity to him. Was I stupid? Please anyone help me
  14. I posted on here before about the men who sexually assaulted me in the past. Perhaps I shouldn't even be bringing this up again, but a recent board has brought many things in my mind. I knew something was wrong when I tried to get away but the person simply wouldn't allow that and continued. I knew I should have screamed or at the very least said no as their hands slid down my body. I knew he wasn't understanding my actions when he continued to slip my hands down his pants. Scott and Kevin have left permanent scars on my mind and soul. I was not raped. I was molested. I was sexually assualted by two different males on separate occasions, one being many times. Scott was over a year ago and a one time experience. Kevin, on the other hand, continued his actions over several weeks. On the night things were going too far, I literally died inside myself. It was just like with Scott, but this time it hurt even more. You see, I had dated Kevin a year prior and was considering starting a new relationship with him. He turns twenty this October, while I turn seventeen this November. People have said that I should really learn to take care of my body or this will continue to happen. The thing I don't think they understand is, I do protect myself and I do have respect for my body. I never really thought it could or would happen again and after I cried, Kevin would always apologize. I never physically said no, but I did show signs of distress and discomfort; crying, squirming, trying to get off the bed. I don't exactly know where I am going with this because my friends seem to think I am: A- Lying B- Over everything C- Should be over everything or D- Believe I lead them on and they were misunderstanding my actions. I really thought that in time, things would change and I would gradually move on; however I have yet to stop thinking about both Scott and Kevin and the last incident was nearly two months ago. Was I wrong to not say no? Should I have reported all accounts even though there was no evidence? Should I be over what happened? Is it time to simply move on? I find myself sexually and emotionally attracted to woman now and every thinks its because of what they did. I do not mind because I feel safer and right when with another female and was borderline bisexual before any of this ever happened. I also told my father, in a letter, what happened but he never mentioned counsleing or reporting. Does he too not believe me? Perhaps I have lost it and none of this was abuse; maybe I am simply blowing things out of the water.
  15. My mother died from cancer when I was 8 leaving my angry, obsessively religious father to raise me and my brother. My father was verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive to all of us. He never accepted me for who I was and he severely sheltered me from the real world. At 15 I started to rebel, smoked some pot, tried cigarettes, had sex, etc. because I'd been repressed for so long and could no longer deal with the way he treated me. I continued to rebel, crying out for attention, love, and support. Right around the time I turned 17 my father met and prepared to marry his fourth wife and decided that I was too much of a hassle to take care of anymore. He came down to my room one day, handed me a twenty dollar bill, and told me to pack whatever I could and be gone before the end of the day. Being so sheltered and unloved I was totally unprepared for the world out there. I had to leave school without graduating and ran off to the closest city (we lived in a fairly small town) and did the only thing I knew to do, got a job and kept that job. I was so emotionally damaged that I quickly became the victim of abusive boyfriends, drug and alcohol abuse, and homelessness. I felt empty, hurt, totally rejected, unloved, and scared most of the time. I let people and a lot of men rape, abuse, and use me and I continued on this destructive path for another 4 years because I didn't love myself. I didn't know how to. And the one person who was supposed to love me didn't; at least not unconditionally. I'm doing very well these days. I've worked my butt off to make my life better, to deal with the hurt, and to learn to love myself. But I'm still angry at my father. And I know that I probably made some bad decisions, but I did these things because I hurt so bad and I hurt so bad because of him so I still blame him for the horrible things I had to see and experience as a child, a teen, and an adult. I'm still so angry that when I needed my father the very most he sent me away. I want so badly to forgive him so I don't have to carry around this weight. I don't like being angry, I think it's a waste of time and energy, but I can't seem to shake this. I don't necessarily want a relationship with him, but I just need/want to forgive him and get rid of my anger. How do I stop being so angry? How do I forgive him?
  16. ok calling a hotline or police or something is completely out of the question. i was talkin to my gf tonight ans she started asking me "what i would do if my step brother was touching me in personal areas" i started getting worried. then she said "my step dad does too when my moms not home" she started telling me all these things he did to her. i wanted to break his neck for this i mean wow big man, he can beat on a 13 y/o girl. her mom speaks no english and they dont know we're together because they're strict and dont let her date but we manage anyway what should i do this is a serious emergency plus im about to lose my temper any suggestions please??? -stitches
  17. My best friend has a man that lives with her and they plan on getting married but he treats her like sh**!!! She can't go nowere, talk to noone, he even took her cell phone away! She can't have no friends over and once a few nights ago he got into a drunk rage and slapped her and tore he whole room up! its a bad mess...... He yells at her and he is just awful to her.....He is so jealous too, she can't even talk to women over the phone. This is ruinig her whole youth because she is only 14, she is too young to be trapped like this, she can't go to dances (not even school dances), she can't go to the movies, go to slumber parties....even thing you think of thats fun for a young girl....SHE CAN'T DO!!! She claims that he hasn't hit her any other than that one night when he got drunk, but I think he does and she just won't admit it and if he don't then it'll soon led into that!!! She is also....maybe....pregant by him so im worried he'll abuse the baby if she is, she claims she loves him but I can see deep inside that she just wants to live......I don't know what to do or how to stand up to him because im the only friend her boyfriend lets come over for some reason!!! And if I make him hate me or anything then'll all her rights will be taken away(well the LITTLE rights she still has) and she won't have noone to come over or anything! Please someone help me and tell me what I should do. No young girl should be slaved like this!!! Aslo may I add that he tends to flirt with me sometimes, and leave the house without telling anyone were he is going and when my friend even looks at a guy or ask to go somewere he snaps and gets angry...like its alright for him to play around and not her thats not right! So what should I do or say?
  18. Twisted Metal Type of relationship: Serious Length: 2 years What a roller coaster of a relationship I've been in for the past two years. I feel like I don't know where to begin, but I guess I'll begin with the beginning. I moved away from my state to start a new life after a bad relationship a few years ago. After living in the state I live in now for awhile, an old friend from my old state said she had a friend in my new state, so we met. It was really nice, she was very sweet and basically the opposite of my ex-girlfriend. We did the semi-long-distnace thing for awhile, and my commitment to my job ended, so I moved closer to her, got a new job, and went back to school out where she lives. She was very good to me, we went lots of places together, it felt like a really strong and healthy relationship. However, it was not. At some point she became emotionally and physically abusive towards me and I became emotionally and physically abusive towards her. I was uneasy around her, scared to really act myself anymore unless other people were around, and just kind of sad about the decline of the relationship. We started fighting alot, just back and forth annoying each other, and it began to suck. So we did the breakup/makeup thing for awhile and my friends got sick of hearing it. I come from a very abusive background, and she is overly critical and controlling sometimes, and it reminds me of the way my mom treated me. So a couple of months ago we got in a fight and I grabbed her and she clawed my face and I pushed her down. I really lost control and she did too. After this fight she said never to call her or contact her again. We had basically been living together up to this point, so I moved all my stuff out and left her alone. Two weeks later I dropped off some stuff when she wasn't home, left it on her porch, and she texted me a few minutes later, asking me to come over. So I did and we talked and cuddled and had sex and it was nice. So we've been spending time together again, but she seems to always be upset and now I see her old patterns of control and criticism coming out. I've been going to men's groups and therapy for myself, so that I don't react physically during arguments, and I have to say I've learned alot. I find it much easier to walk away from her fights now. Basically she thinks that she was never abusive in any way towards me, and that it was all in my head because of my childhood, and that I was the one who was always abusive. But why then does she keep calling me and texting me and wanting me? My family and friends say, stay away from her. I have no self-esteem anymore, but I pretend I do so people think I'm ok. I just can't say, "Stay away from me," and stick to it myself.
  19. Is it possible to love someone that abuses you? Is it normal to think that some day the abuse will go away?
  20. hello, i gess i have a bit of a problem...well after a year of living with my abusive aunt i moved here to live with my dad and my step mom.Its a lot better than my aunts but i still dont feel right here.My aunt always use to yell at me for every little thing i did or didnt do . even if i didnt do anything wrong i would get screamed at for it. i was always told that i was crap and i wasnt worth their time and that noone else wanted me and that i should be greatful for them taking me in.i mean jeez ,the homeless shelter was better than that.For a long time i told my dad every thing she said about me.i told him that i wanted to get out of there.for a long time he didnt believe me. i gess he thought i was overexadurating about it because i got good greads and always went to school.it wasnt til' recently that i moved here.but it was a big shock to me.anyways i'm here now and i gess its cool.buti feel weired.like if i do something wrong my dad just tells me that i did it wrong and i need to do it again.and its not just that its the way he acts twords me.last night i broke down crieing and i dont even know why.i know this is probably confusing and stupid ....but i would really apresheate it if some one could explane how i feel.
  21. Hey i dont know how to start this ? ive had a rough life for the last year .a year ago i broke up with my first bf who i went out for 6years i broke up with him cause he hit me and abused me for 3 years i broke up with him b4 but ended up going back to him. But he hadnt changed after that i got messed around by guys a guy who i liked broke my heart cause he was only after me for one reason and i was looking for a realationship after that my grandad died.i ive have experienced a depression problem cause ive lost alot of friends and trust .ive had trouble sleeping and now ive got spots on my face and got told its cause of stress ive seen skin cancer place.ive had ppl hassle me about whats happed to my face and it bothers me cause so many ppl are immature they have to make comments as if im turning ugly ive been seeing a couseller to help me get over my ex bf's abuse and other inssues but why is life cruel sometimes. sometimes i think of the immature ppl and what would they do if they had my problem Marianne
  22. I've read several posts in regards to abusive relationships and relationships in conflict and some sound similiar to my situation, except I'm havin' a helluva time to get rid of him. We've discussed/argued/cried/yelled about our differences and problems that it makes me sick to my stomach to have to regurgitate it all over again. The relationship is over in my mind but he won't let go of it. No matter how I put it accross to him that it's ended he's still persistent. Unfortunately, we work at the same place but in different departments. The problems of the relationship are (have been) rearing its ugly head whilst at work--he's physically manipulating--literally he pushes me around. I realize it's his attempt to control me as I have been less and less submissive to him. I'd rather not involve work in our plight and recover from this as easily and quickly as possible. I'd like to get on with me life (without him). He covers up the situation by forcing hugs, kisses, and sex to make things better and go away. He won't leave my place until he gets what he wants. I end up sleeping on the couch or floor--don't even want to be near him. This guy can't accept the fact that I've lost interest in him, that the relationship has died. He has revealed to me telltale signs of abuse and I want out before it gets worse. Does anyone have any information to help?
  23. t's 4:45 in the morning, and I still can't sleep. I am tired of life. The story of my life might sound a bit disturbing, but I'm in desperate need for a solution. I tried counseling (free service), and tried taking medications, but nothing seems to work. The men that I date are among the perpretrators who abuse me. My counselor says that often, women of child abuse/molestation will often, subconsciously, look for someone who will portray the perpretators as a way to mend the past. At this point, I'm ready to die. I am tired of getting hurt consistantly. I am tired of the abuse from my mom. She always criticizes me, even when I try to please her by cooking/getting good grades, it's never enough for her. She's always saying something negative to me, and it kills my self-esteem. I feel like I'm dying inside. I want to die. I want to lay in peace. I want to be with my dad.
  24. a couple of weeks ago i wrote post about my friend and her baby and i got a few post back and thank you for those. Bandit_misser Novice Joined: 21 Jan 2004 Posts: 2 hey my name is amy and i have a friend that i go to school with that her father beats her up a lot and she has a 8 month old baby............2day she came into school with a huge bruse on her head and she told me that he father got mad cause she was talkin on the phone to a boy and punched her..................he is also starting to handle Caleb (the baby) really crappy to like he other day caleb was tryin to pull himself up on the table like tryig to stand and he took calebs arm and pulled it down o he would just sit on the floorand caleb started to cry and sammy (my friend) went togo pick him up and he told he not to touch him (and it is sammys baby)..............does anyone know if this is abuse.......is there anyone i can call for her i talked to her about goin to a home with kids with kids and abusive parents and she said she don't want Caleb in someting like that..... and does he hae the right to do tha to her baby? thanks Back to top Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2004 3:21 pm Post subject: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- thePuma Member Gender: Age: 20 Joined: 25 Oct 2003 Posts: 44 Location: Hell, Portugal I am not sure if under legal terms that is abuse, but think it is. In my country there are associations that fight to put an end to this kind of stuff, but where you live there might not be any. In that's case, go to the local police, they will know what to do. They can give you some information on what to do, or even investigate about the case. If you do this, make sure, you don't warn the father until you're sure he can't hurt this girl again, for example, arresting him for child abuse during 6 months would only make things worse. Meanwhile, aren't there any places where she can run to? Her mother's house? Grandparents? Even friends? That situation is not ok for either the girl and the baby. This father might need some help too, but I can't tell how... _________________ "Sleep all day. Party all night. Never grow old..." Back to top Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2004 3:30 pm Post subject: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- avman Administrator Gender: Age: 36 Joined: 07 Aug 2003 Posts: 708 Location: Minnesota Yes, this would be considered abuse. If he hit her, thats not acceptable. Also it sounds like the baby is in trouble also. He is handling the baby too roughly. She (or you) can call a battered womens shelter for some ideas. Or if she's underage she might be able to contact social services for assistance. They may be able to help her under this situation. This isn't something I would let just go. I doubt her father will change his tune if nothing is done. Back to top Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2004 3:34 pm Post subject: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- lil_mamarains13 Junior Member Gender: Age: 20 Joined: 20 Aug 2003 Posts: 255 Location: Texas Yes that is abuse. To punch you own child is just cowardly. There are ways to punish your children to teach them to be good, but to ball your fist up and hit them. Especially for a grown man to hit a 17 year old girl. That is pathetic. As you can tell I don't like abusers, and the worst part is the person being abused nearly has to be dead before the law does anything about it. That is how it is here where I live anyway. I would contact your local police and talk to them about it and the laws of child abuse. You might also talk to a teacher, principal or counselor at your school about it. But be careful because like avman said you could make it worse for her unless he is completely out of her life to where he can't hurt her and her baby anymore. I hope I helped and keep us updated. _____________________________________________________________ well i talked to her about calling the cops and she did the next time it happened and the cops didn't believe her at all....... i talked to my teacher at school about it 2 and she gave me a phone number for a home so she called it and she really wanted to go to get out of the house......... her father found the number and is now threating her to take caleb away from her if she goes anywhere.........and i was like sammy the only way that they can take caleb from u if they have proof that you are a unfit parent.......and she is not at all she is a really good mom for being a teenage mother...........her father told her that he has proof that she is a unfit parent.........and she don't want to take any chances.....her father is someone that can just make up something a get away with it..... please help me help her Amy
  25. My girlfriend has a really bad family life. i'll summarize it. Father: crazy (like crazy crazy), rambles on about how he is gonna die and how much my g/f is stupid/fat/etc. He also use to physically abuse her, and social services was called twice in her youth for it. Brother: 18 year old who drinks alot, and may be a meth head, and sometime hits her, leaving marks, as well as constant verbal abuse, and one time sexual abuse (he raped her when he was 10 y/o or so). He also has ALOT of porn on his computer. Sister: freshman, who has sex all the time, possibly for money (not sure yet, i hacked her AIM accnt. and saw something suspicious about it.) She also cuts herself and possiblely does hard drugs (not sure exactly what yet). Also the same verbal/physical abuse. Mom: does nothing. She denies all her kids problems, althogh she has seen Sisters scars, Brothers drinking, etc. She always fights with her husband and is constantly talking about divorce but never does it. This isn't even typical white-trash family. The mother has a PhD in pharmacy, and the father is an enginner for Raytheon. AHHHHHHHH!! My GF: She's 16. She has major depression problems, and and talked about suicide in the past. She used to just break down crying for no reason. She also has constant, very bad back pain the her parents refuse to treat. I'm worried about her saftey almost constantly, and i'm considering buying pepperspray for her (hidden in a pen) as well as a small recording device (for proof if anything goes down). Me: I'm 19, in college, and bagging at Vons. hopefully i'll get promoted soon so i can move out (my major goal in life right now, besides her.) I'm not one to accuratly psycoanalyze myself, but i have a general apathy towards life, mostly other people, who can be so ignorant it makes me wanna break things/people. We have been going out for 2 years, but currently arn't allowed to see each other, do to a pot bust @ school. I still see her whenever i can though because i'm afraid she wave a total breakdown. i've seen her come close before. She's told me i'm the only thing shes living for right now, which is scary. Her mother has threatened me with calling the cops if i see her (for statutory rape), but our age difference is such that it is a misdermenor in California ($2000 fine or so). I don't really care. she has told me not to presue legal action, so i havent. i dont even think i can, because the physical abuse is not obvious, and the whole family will lie though their teeth, which may be why they arent in jail now (she has 2 scars on her throat from a belt buckle). So what should i do???
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