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  1. I need to give a lot of context here so I'm sorry if this is long. Also, it may be a lot of rambling that's all over the place so sorry again. So I have a crush on a coworker. He's really nice, understanding, and we have A LOT in common. He would stop by my office or I would go by his and we would talk for the longest time about everything. He and I both just so happen to be really good at keeping eye contact so when we talk, he is usually staring at me directly in my eyes. There have been times when I caught his eyes wandering and there were times where our eyes would meet. For example, one day I was just coming to work and I was driving in the parking deck to the third floor. He had just got out of his vehicle and he locked eyes with me as I was driving up the parking deck. We both are a little shy around each other. We haven't touched once (meaning a gentle touch of the arm or a hug). Also he just recently broke up with his gf (like last week) so this whole time has been just he and I having friendly conversations (out of respect of him being in a relationship). Well, today is his last day here (he is transferring to a new job). Friday, I asked him to stop by my office before he left for the day to say goodbye. He waited until the end of the day (when most of the office was gone) and came by. I told him how happy I was that I got to work with him and I'm going to miss him. He proceeded to thank me for being real and for being a good friend. I gave him a congratulations card. In that card, I wrote a little note that basically said "thank you for being a good friend. I'll miss you" blah blah. I also included my contact information. When I gave him the card, he told me he would read it later and not in front of me because that would be "awkward" lol. No text or email or anything over the weekend which is fine. Well, today, he stopped by my office and gave me HIS number on a note that said if I need anything to contact him. Weird. I did not expect that especially after I just gave him my number. Am I crazy for thinking any of this stuff means anything? Should I use his number? Help. TL;DR: My crush gave me his number unprovoked after I gave him mines in a greeting card. What does that mean and should I use it?
  2. hi this isn’t exactly relationship advice but i don't know where else to post this and don’t know what else to do. so i work at a country club and a few weeks ago a new banquet captain was hired. and over the short amount of time he’s been here he’s put his hands on multiple of the women employees (some underage, including myself). usually he’ll touch or grab our waists or just our backs, he’s put his hands on my face before too. it makes us all feel really uncomfortable and multiple of us have told him to stop before, which he hasn’t. he also calls us all sweetheart, baby, cutie, etc. he’s also straight up told me i was cute before and told me i was being seductive to him when i told him to “come here” in the most normal way possible. i’m 16, he’s 30. this is just everything that has happened to me so far and i couldn’t even tell you all the things he’s said or done to the other girls in the workplace, some as young as 15. but, what my main concern and breaking point really is is that he said racist things to one of the black employees, calling him a “colored person”. i only found this out today but apparently this took place only a few days after this guy started. this is everything that has happened in a matter of about 3 weeks and i’ve gotten to the point where i don’t want to work with him anymore because he disgusts me in every way possible and makes me feel extremely uncomfortable to be around. i like my job and all of my other coworkers besides him so i don’t want to quit but i don’t know what to do. do i try reporting him to the general manager? what do i even say and how do i put it into words? i just want him out of this place because its making my job an uncomfortable environment, and not just for me. i don’t know if they would be hesitant to fire him since he is the banquet captain.
  3. Sorry if this is long but there is a lot to digest here. Little back story I work at an IT company in a sales management position and the female in question is a customer service rep on my team. I am 33 and single. We have been working together for about 3 years and until about 6 months ago we had a normal work relationship. We were friendly with each other but I couldnt tell you one thing about her and I didnt have any sort of feelings. Back about 6 months ago we started to become very close with each other at work. It is to the point that despite the fact that we work on opposite ends of our office floor she is constantly coming over to my desk to talk to me whether it is personal related or business related. However the business related questions are so simple she could easily call me on my phone or email me but she ALWAYS does it in person. We have gotten to the point at work that everyone is convinced there is something going on between us when there really is not. We do flirt with each other all day but in a completely non sexual sort of way, making fun of each other, laughing together, and generally just spending a large portion of the work day hanging out. We also have a weekly "date night" where one of us will cook a homeade meal for the other and bring it in on a Friday and we will sit together and have a "date". I have now developed strong feelings for this woman and according to everyone else at work it is obvious she has feelings for me based off of her interactions with me and the way we interact with each other. Here is where the story takes a turn, this girl has a boyfriend that works in HR at the company, and he just started working here about a year ago. They have been dating for almost 3 years total. So I am in a tough position where I cannot really reveal to this girl how I truly feel, but it is more than obvious that we both have strong feelings for each other. I am not really sure what to do, I know revealing my feelings to her is probably off the table because of the boyfriend etc, but at the same time I have completely fallen for this girl. Anyone have any idea what to do next in this tricky position? We also never talk about her relationship and she used to up until recently, now whenever she talks or tells stories its like her boyfriend doesnt exist, its like she has flipped a switch with me where she will not talk about him or anything they do anymore. I have never seen this guy in person as he works at our corporate headquarter office, so I am not sure he even realizes what is going on.
  4. Me nd my partner have been together for 4 years and live together - he work s and I am in my final semester of university.. My boyfriend and I have not been gettng along properly for about 10 months and he always seemed very distant and distressed.. I thought he may be with someone else but he always denied it.. Anyway 2 days a go I found a letter in word too a work colleague taht I awlways had suspicions of. It was stating his undying love for her - and stating about all teh things he loved about her and even ssaid he was in love with her. He even dedicateda song too her..I was fumng as you can imagine - trashed teh house and moved out - I saw him in his lunch break and he said he doesnt knwo whetehr he loves her and jsut stormed out in tears saying he couldnt deal with this. Anwyay I just left and I am at a friends house now.. He kept calling sayign we needed too talk and that he doesnt love his work colleague and needed too see me. I was very distant and didnt even want too talk to him. Until I heard he spoke too my dad and dad told me he is an idiot but he does love me and when he got home sitting in teh empty flat he realised he had really really really hurt me.. He wouldnt stop calling so he cam e round too my friends and thsi is what happened: J came round yesterday and told me that I dont have too believe him or not but he does NOT love this woman or is in love with her. He admits he had feelings for her...He said that he has been going though dperession and not really knowing what it was- crying in his work loo's and stuff. He said even though this does not excuse for what has happened this is what is goign on. He called his doctor yesterday and they admitted him too a therapist straight away - saying he is mentally unstable. he said that he needs too do this on his own - all his debts and finances and sort out his head. I said that I iwl never move back there and he agreed that he thinks we need our own space. He just kept apologising. As ffor the letter he stated that he knows the letter sounded in depth. He didnt send it too her and said that he just typed it out- he said that he feels he was using teh situation of her being a shoulder for him too cry on and he thought it was turniogn into something serious. But after he had read thorugh it again it seemed stupid and pathetic. He said that he has not been feelign right in his self for months maybe a year. He said that he is really sorry for teh pain he has put me through. That whatever happens he cares for me and if it wasnt for me he wouldnt be where he is right now..! HE CLAIMS THEY NEVER SLEPT TOGETHER!! The long and short of it is that he wants us too stay close and maybe when he is in therapy and getting better we can meet up on a date once in a while ans start over- but he said that it is my choice and I need too do what makes me happy..but living apart will be the best thing for us...(which i have always thought).. Right now I feel drained. I am not goign too call him as I need time too get a place of my own and get uni started up. I would prefer too wait until thsi is sorted b4 anything. The thing is I do love him 4 years is a very long time...i think i will find it very hard too trust him ever and he would have too do watever it takes for me too trust him again...i will make him pay... it has been a crazy few days... bUT i just wanted too hear some opinions. everyone is really great on here and this is the hardest thing in my life apart form my amputation and I just need sound opinions- and whether I am goign along teh right path - one day at a time...
  5. I'm new here (been reading for a long time, only just registered) I'm a female and I work in a nearly all male environment and get on well with everyone. I've got a couple of good friends there whom I speak to a lot because I sit next to them all day. About 2 months ago a new guy started and I helped train him. He seemed nice enough and we got on fine. I noticed over the last month he has become more friendly/bold with me i.e touching my shoulders as he walks past, poking me in my side and even making snide and childish comments about my male colleagues. He makes jokes about them as though they fancy me and saying that they want to kiss me and that they stare at me (now, I'm not even interested in any of them so why would he say this? I'm not a flirty type of person, I just act myself and am friendly with people). I noticed him the other day purposefully place himself between me and a workmate - almost like trying to split us up! He also asks a lot of questions about a particular workmate who I know well but nothing has ever gone on between us, we just get on as friends. The thing is that I've seen him playing around with another female when I'm nearby (I just pretend I don't notice and carry on doing my work as I don't have time for games). Anyway, we were talking on MSN (I've moved to another department so can't talk to him face-to-face that much) and after he tried to make out that one of my colleagues fancied me, he then admitted that he likes me and even said he loves me (I hope this was just a joke cos he hardly knows me!) I asked if he likes the other girl and he was like "What? Er NO!" so do you think his flirting with her was a way to try and get me to notice him? I do quite like him and he has a wicked sense of humour which I like but do you think he is likely to be a bit overly jealous if I were to go out with him? I'm quite independent and don't like clingyness from anyone and I was wondering if him being snide about my workmates is a red flag. Thanks for reading and I'd appreciate any advice.
  6. These are two things that I just found. I like them both, and I thought I would share them with you. Attitude The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude of life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company, a church or a home. The remarkable thing is we have choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way, We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you... -Charles Swindoll- Just For Today... Just for today--I will live through the next twelve hours and not try to tackle all of life's problems at once. Just for today--I will imporve my mind. I will learn something useful. I will read something that requires thought and concentration. Just for today--I will be agreeable. I will look my best, speak in a well-modulated voice, be courteous and considerate. Just for today--I will not find fault with my friend, relative, or colleague. I will not try to change or improve anyone but myself. Just for today--I will do a good turn and keep it a secret. Just for today--I will have a program. I might not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two enemies--hurry and indecision. Just for today--I will do two things I don't want to do, just because I need the discipline. Just for today--I will believe in myself. I will give my best to the world and feel confident that the world will give it's best to me. Hope you like them. under*
  7. Okay the guy I actually am attracted to tends to ignore me most of the time and flirts with other girls in front of me. He'll buy me a drink, listen in on my conversations, look me in the eyes, yet flirt obnoxiously other girls. Does he want me to go away? Is he pissed because other guys are giving me attention so he's flirting to get back at me. WHAT???? Okay here's a more detailed explaination. I went to the bar to see the band. He was working in the restaurant. His coworkers told him I was there and he came up to bar area. He then began flirting with a coworker, butt pats, various flirtatious type touching and ultimately he picked her up and like twirled her around! That is when I walked out and left. During the time his stuff was happening. A guy from the band came down during break and was talking with me, semi flirting (arm touching), etc. There was also an older guy who bought me and a friend a drink, kept complimenting me, asked me to dance, etc. Then he got really bold which creaped me out, but I had to sober up before I could leave. So that's why I wonder if he was just pissed and getting back at me, or if he really just wants me to go away.
  8. Quick question / discussion...is masturbation considered a sin or wrongdoing in the religion of Christianity?? Got inot a big debate over this question with a colleague...thanx
  9. a friend of mine started dating her colleague a month ago. they work closely together in the same dept. of a large architectural firm - pulling long work hours & weekends at times. she had left her boyfriend for this co-worker, & moved in w/ him. so far they've been keeping a low profile at work about their relationship, although some other colleagues already suspect. they met when he joined the company 3 months ago. do you guys think this is a good idea? i would certainly like to hear your comments.
  10. well.....my question actually says it all, but let me tell you my problem... I have a boyfriend. About a month ago, i found a new part time job. The job is nice and so are my coworkers........One of my coworker, he is a male about my age, is very friendly with me..... he knows i have a boyfriend.... ...but he thinks i am a great person and he wants to be my friend........a best friend......First i though he was flirting with me...but a few weeks ago he asked you want to be my friend"... and i said sure, why not......but now i don't feel comfortable about this friendship.....and is not about sexual heeling or anything else, we don't have anything between us....but i've never believed in a friendship between male and female......Now , my new friend always with me around lunch break, now he calls me on my cell phone and invites to a double date (i, my bf, him and his new girl that he just picked up). He doesn't have a girlfriend. ....He invites me to the movies, to his party even with my bf.....but i always say no, cause im not comfortable with that........i haven't told my boyfriend about my new friend, cause i think he won't like it.....well, i tried to imagine myself on his place and i don't like it either.......I just don't believe in frienship between male and female.......i always think that there is something more that he wants from me.....or when he calls me i try to hide it from my boyfriend.......once he even called me on sunday at 10 a.m. , when i was sleeping with my bf, and asked which color t-shirt whould he buy, because he is at the mall right now and can't decide...........i want to end this relationship...i dont' know if i am right or wrong but i'm not comfortable with that......How can i do that? and should i do that? Or do you believe in friendship between male and female??
  11. Ok, here is the deal. I found out my bf had asked a co-worker of mine who sits next to me everyday in the office, to kiss him repeatedly. He said it almost happened one time, but they never did. They talked through email when I couldn't see the screen of course, and even met on breaks and lunch times when bf was "here to see me" on my breaks that were right before hers. Finally my coworker is the one who came clean and told me about it. It has upset me a great deal as my bf said that he just was emailing her to be friends with her and that she was a nice person to have as a friend. He promised me he was not attracted to her. I told my coworker that I would confront my bf. I did. He came clean with everything, including things my coworker failed to tell me. He thought I was only mad at him, and I corrected him and told him no I was mad at both of them and had the right to be. He has apologized to me and so has the co-worker. He states he still wants to be with me and that he made the biggest mistake ever and wants me back. He said he almost lost the one thing and person in his life that has ever made sense to him. I told him he should never have forgotten that to the point of even attempting to get her to kiss him. How does one forgive someone when this has happened? They never kissed, never went OUT, but they met up several times and discussed the "if's" and "possibilities" of them, if I were not in the picture. How is this not supposed to hurt me? How am I supposed to forgive someone who I gave my entire heart to, when I know he had hurt me this bad already once before. How can I know and trust him when he says he will never EVER do it again, as he put it? Thanks. I really need help.
  12. I am going on 20 years old and have NEVER had a real relationship. I've posted before about my coworker that I fell in love with, but that it going nowhere and I am absolutely sick of holding on!! I met someone recently and got her phone number, but just can't seem to get conversation started and not a whole lot of chances to be alone with her. I bump into her quite frequently around where I met her. And I get the feeling that I shouldn't even try, b/c she doesn't even act like she wants to talk to me!! most of the people that are around me seem so happy and I just feel like I'm destined to be without a hand to hold, or kisses, or sweet phone calls or ANYTHING!! The girl that told me that she liked me dumped me right after I fell for her, then I saw a beautiful girl(WITHOUT A BOYFRIEND), got the courage to ask her to do something, and got the digits! Why isn't it going anywhere? I've been told by quite a few girls I work with that I'm gonna charm someone so bad, or that I'm a great catch, and that I'm gonna find someone that will care about me. It would just be nice if the girl that I just met would be like,"Why haven't you called me, lately?" or "When are we gonna do something?" b/c I have called her and tried to get her to go somewhere with me, but it never works out. I would be dumbfounded if coworker came back to me....and happy. If that ain't going to happen why won't the person I put effort into give me results? Why did I even bother?
  13. Okay here goes. I started working at my current office a year ago, There is a cute guy who works there. I am attracted to him. I have asked him to drinks which he refused and then to a another work function which he initally accepted then turned down - his only reason being he had to be "fair" whatever that means. We flirt and play mind games / tease each other constantly. He is sort of seeing someone and I know I sound like a moron but I still like the fool. He is always interested in the details of my life and seems to get jealous when I got out with other guys. If I joke around with other colleagues he is always suspiciously curious and practically told me he has not made friends with me on purpose. This hurts. how on earth do I deal with it and let him go? We get along SO well - I have never met anyone who is so much like me and makes me laugh so much - we eat lunch together every day and I live for the moments when we get to talk. I know he is attracted to me which makes the situation so much worse. He keeps telling me how he can't be friends with a work aquaintance. *sigh* I wanted to leave my job as it was hurting so much but I dont really want to be the one to run away.
  14. Is this normal. Last year I started a new job, the happiest person in the world. I got to know a fellow colleague, a female. I wasn't attracted to her at all, but as time went on, I found I could talk to her, I still wasn't attracted to her. After Xmas, she told me I was a really funny person, and she had been looking forward to seeing me. I still wasn't attracted to her! At the end of our works course (in January) she seemed to get upset and asked me for a hug as we wouldn't see each other for 10 weeks, I gave her a hug, and my phone no. I still wasn't attracted to her. After 10 weeks, we saw each other again, she said something along the lines of 'you are the nicest colleague I have met'. I still wasn't attracted to her! but I did like to talk to her. So here I am now, in July, I have met up with her on a course in June, we all went out together in June on a works do. I have now realised this woman is an absolute Gem. She has been split from her boyfriend since March, I have found the woman I was not attracted to at all, has become the biggest crush in my life EVER. I am constantly thinking about her daily, we were talking on the phone last week, and she said I sounded down, so I told her why, I was attracted to her. she sent me a message back saying we would always be friends etc, I have since met her and we have talked. The problem is I have a partner and 6 year old son. I feel I am going thru a mid life crisis, but I just cannot get this woman who meant NOTHING to me last year out of my head. It has got to the point where it is destroying my life, is this normal. I am convinced this woman feels the same but will not reveal it as I am attached. P.S., it would take a lot for me to walk out on my partner, as I love her. Is this normal. Advice please.
  15. OK, so my squasi-in-laws (sisters and mother) are throwing me a shower at my place this weekend. It's coed and previously, I had only intended for my family and really, really close friends to be present. But I have been informed by a coworker that my work is throwing me a surprize bash to, and frankly, I didn't want to send out invites to a shower to workmates because I thought it might look like I was ASKING for gifts. I guess after inviting four workmates to the party, I feel compelled to invite them all (because feelings so often get hurt). Now, my question is, would you do that (this is TWENTY-FIVE people)? It's actually possibly MORE, but hmmmm, what should I do? SLIPPERY SLOPE INDEED and the party is in only four days!!! THANKS IN ADVANCE FOR YOUR HELP! I kinda wanna make a decision thsi morning. By the way, I was told it would be fine to invite others.
  16. I wrote to my old coworker crush who's resigning. I worked with him off and on since 2008 but haven't seen him in almost 2 years because his client base never recovered from the pandemic. In 2012 we had a mutual crush that I couldn't act on (wasn't single then). There were a ton of things that made his obvious but I want to keep this short. 2013 I transferred departments. Our goodbye convo was really sweet. I got layed off and came back right before covid. We had a nice long catch up convo and one awkward (almost crashed into him) run-in. Sadly our schedules never lined up again after covid hit. My crush still came back full force. I think he felt an attraction at least, because he seemed a little giddy towards me during our last interaction. I made my email extremely professional in case there's 0 interest but hoped my "keep in touch" would be enough of a hint if he is. It might have been TOO professional?: "Hi ______, I enjoyed working with you all these years so it's sad to see you go. I know I haven't worked with you much in recent years, but you were one of the first people I met at (company) when I started as a case worker years ago. Thanks for being a support during some of my more challenging cases way back in the day. I wish you the best and good luck. Feel free to keep in touch. (Auto email signature<-- with my cell # slipped into it. Not sure if he noticed that) He responded: "Garfish99, Greetings. It was so lovely to hear from you and thanks for the kind words. I remember meeting you and our early conversations as I was impressed with your intelligence and understanding of the work we do. I am working a lot for CBA along with XYX, LMN, RSHM, and RST so our paths may (hopefully) cross again. Best wishes, [Coworker] Does "we'll cross paths (hopefully)" mean he thinks he's closed a chapter on me or do you think my email was just too dry/professional for him to get my hint? The way he added (hopefully) made me think there's some lingering feelings. I'm just wondering if it would be a terrible idea to reply something like "I was wondering if you'd be up staying in touch? Here is my number. If that's not something you're comfortable doing, I would not be offended. (My draft is lame and obviously needs a lot of work) Thoughts?
  17. Going through quite an immense crush on a work colleague right now, I need to let this out. And I will ask her out one day soon A lonely desk, time so precious, Each day comes, each day goes, But thinking of your smile, of the time we may next meet, Admonishes the agony, washes away the woes. Deadlines a dash, impossible tasks to tend, I gain strength through your smile, now there's hope, A point to each problem, a method to the madness, At the start of every Monday morning there is a way to cope. Our talks may now and then be trimmed, As we immerse ourselves within the confines of our drastic demands, But nothing will ever give me more pleasure, Than the thought of one day walking with you, hand in hand. If only there were a way, corporate world be damned, To let you know how much I appreciate the simple, special sanctuary of your smile, Surely there is no wrong in how I feel, For even if there were to be, this boy isn't going anywhere for a long, long while.
  18. The realization that he's gone forever still hits me like a tidal wave sometimes...and it's been over three months since the breakup. I feel like damaged goods...not because there's something "wrong" with me (okay, so I do have my issues...), but because I now have a history and will always carry the burden of this failed relationship...And I feel like it makes me a bad person. I know that I would be suspicious of a guy with a dedicated relationship in his past, because that means that I wouldn't be all that special to him...so who's to say that guys won't view me the same way? Not to mention that the idea of dating scares me...that awkward period of getting to know an absolute stranger and trying to judge our compatibility over the course of several few-hour periods...With my ex, we were coworkers, and there came a time when we just started contacting each other every day outside of work, and it evolved from there...and it was lovely. I don't know how I'll be able to get to know another guy in the conventional dating way... Plus, I just can't shake off the memories of our relationship...What if the next guy isn't like that? What if he doesn't randomly call just because he wanted to know how I am? What if my smile isn't enough to make his day? What if he doesn't give me cute little nicknames and kiss me on the nose? If he doesn't enjoy cuddling on the couch while watching a movie? What if he doesn't randomly pick me up and spin me around and around? If he doesn't tell me that I should never change myself for other people, including him? If he doesn't think that I look beautiful when I just wake up in the morning...and that falling asleep and waking up in each other's arms is terribly romantic? What if he doesn't believe in me more than anyone else does, including myself? I'm terrified that I won't find those things with another guy... I just wish that we had a bad relationship that didn't make me happy...then I would know there's room for improvement. As things are right now, the only improvement I can think of is dating long enough to get married. Argh. Just a really bad day.
  19. Hi!, my first thread and hopefully its in the right place... Well for the past few weeks i have been increasingly attracted to a colleague at work, i work at Wal*Mart which has only recently opened (about 4 months ago, so still quite new) and we have both been given extra responsibility as we are both part-time Supervisors (but different departments). Im just having difficulties talking or making any sort of conversation (probably from a lack of confidence) to her in any possible situation through work. I greet her and say "hi" when ever i see her and she smiles but then again working in Wal*Mart were supposed to that anyway,wherever we are within the building lol. Im not a confident person (... Full Stop!) and not having the best experience with girls has left me very un-experienced so im just not sure how too approach her, she's nice but she seems to have quite a strong confident personailty which probably 1 of the things im attracted too (only because its the opposite of me). I just don't know how to get her too notice me, i mean majority of the time how i show my interst is an in-direct approach which doesn't usuall bode well with some women, again i just put it down to lack of experience and confidence. What im after is possible conversation starters and possible ideas to get her to notice me, kinda hard when were all wearing the same colour and uniform lol, anyway any advice is appricated as i have nothing too loose and hopefully something to gain. Thanks... adecentguy
  20. Here we go again. I've had one gf my whole life that lasted 4 years (quite an attractive girl). It lasted just about all througout the end of my high school and into my senior year of college. Now we've broken up, I'm single and I'm new to this super world of dating. We've been apart for 8 months, and in that time I've only met 2 girls that I'd really want to *be* with (though I have met quite a few others). Here's the story. 1st girl - LOVELY girl!! Very talkative, very funny, really nice. We txted each other 40 - 50 times a day (literally). I moved up on her myspace top spot from like # 24 to #5 in a matter of 2 or 3 days. I just knew we were gonna hit it off. I went with her on a vacation for a day, 3 hour drive. My conversational skills aren't the best but I held my own during the 3 hour drive with her there. She was sick so we had to leave early, on the way back I could tell she wasn't feeling well so I didn't talk too much, you know that nasty feeling u get in ur stomach where u know you need to say something but u just can't? I had that the whole trip.. but she was sick and wasn't really in a talkative mood after all. The next couple of days my 50 txts a day goes down to about 5 or so, and that's only if I initiated the convo with the first txt. My spot goes down on her myspace, kapoot (but she really is a nice girl so we do still talk). I was sad, really sad since she was the first real girl since my ex to show so much interest. Onto the next girl. Again, WONDERFUL girl. This one was VERY pretty!! Gorgeous even. Incredibly talkative, funny, giggily, etc. We go out on a first date, hit it off! It was great, we even ended the night in a kiss. I left, my power was off at my apt. and I told her, so she invited me back to her place, hung out, got another kiss. Yayyy. Spot went up on her myspace from the very bottom to #5 (ominous number?)!! Next couple of days I notice that the only reason we're communicating is because I initiated the convo (usually she'd message me, text me or say something on AIM if she saw me online). Okay, I have no prob starting off the convo.. but I wanted to see what would happen if I didn't msg her first.. when I did we didn't talk for about 2 days. Still we still hung out again the following weekend, she came to my place, talked for a little bit, got a kiss again at the end. Then I txted her, she didn't respond and since I'm not the guy to continuously bother a girl or repeatedly txt her when she doesn't respond back i stopped, we didn't talk for 5 days. Now it seems she's met someone. *sigh* wt f? am I doing wrong?! This has happened 2 times, both with very good girls. I have nothing against them, free will is a part of life but I'd just like to know what's turning them off.. is it my conversational skills? Am I a boring guy? I do hold back from being my really goofy self sometimes. I have confidence in my looks, but looks aren't everything, I really do think it's my personality. I'm just so shy around girls sometimes and I really do hold back from being myself or open. These 2 instances have really took a shot at my confidence and morale, I'm at the point where I want to go back to my ex because I feel like I can't find anyone else, but I'm definitely not going to do that. P.S. ***** I've noticed. Confined spaces hinder me. I SUCK at going out to eat because for some odd reason I find it hard to talk when I'm sitting directly in front of a girl having to look them in the eye etc., but if we're outside in a park walking around I can talk just fine, I'm guessing because I feel a bit more free, but I have to get over this also. P.P.S.***** Maybe it's because I don't have many female friends? The only girls I know are really the girls that I've dated, or family, at work I've realized that it's MUCH easier for me to talk to a coworker of mine who isn't very much attractive, compared to another coworker who is really pretty.
  21. I work at a mall kiosk(yeah I know it's pretty blunt) and there's this cell phone kiosk next to me. Well one day they got a new employee in. So one of the coworkers I used to work with(he's gone) said that she didn't pay attention to him. So I decided to go over and introduce myself. But before then when we made eye contact, we would just smile at each other, just showing her friendliness, I suppose. So after that, that's when I decide to y'know, talk to her. After a brief conversation we got to know each other a bit well, and that ended that. Later on we keep talking to each other, just making conversation. Pretty much after that I've noticed a lot. Like for one when I would leave she would lock on to my every move, even from accross the hall in the mall. She came up to my chair and put her arm on it, and grabbed my arm to see "if I was cold"(there was AC in the mall at the time). And dosen't stop there... Eventually it came about where she would come over and talk to me, smiling, in the morning mind you. Which isn't a bad thing at all. She would even I guess imitate my voice tone. So when she came over I'd be like saying "What's up" really low and she'd be like "What's up" in the same way. And I'd be like "hmm?" She's done it more than one. One time I said "whats up" and she was like "how ya doin?" I used to(and still do) make her laugh, we go deep into conversation, she tilts her head when she looks at me, and I've noticed that despite her wearing glasses, her eyes \always dilate just about every time we talk. When I approach her to talk, she'll be in a bad mood and I suddenly make her smile, and she'll have her arms crossed but when I talk to her she uncrosses them. She would look over the balcony and then as soon as I say somethign she'll just start smiling(with her teeth, not just lips). Even when I'm doing my job, talking to customers, she constantly stares the hell out of me(I see it in the corner of my eye), and when I'm talking to someone else that I know(coworker, friend), she tilts and even stares then. And now here's the killer... One day we were talking about eating at the food court sucks, and she think she's fat(she's really thin, don't ask) and I told her she wasn't fat. So she takes her pants and kind of lowers them and she shows me her pink panties. She then smiles at me and does it again, and I'm like "whoa". I didn't really know how to take that. Really at first I thought it was like "she really likes talking to me". But now it seems like something else. We've been talking for a few months now. Now it seems like it's not like she wants to talk to me, but it's like whenever I come around she gets kind of shaken up or something, like she's all of a sudden afraid to talk to me. I usually think I'm getting the cold shoulder but when I go talk to her it's like any other time we've talked. It's kinda like that feeling you get when you like someone so much you all of a sudden feel anxious around them and avoid eye contact. So how would you all take this? There's another key element to this situation but I'll save that for later.
  22. Hi...My problem is that I can't seem to find someone that wants to date me. When I'm out, I get looks from men and they appear to find me attractive. I notice guys whistling or making comments whilst I walk down the street, but they never approach me. I was out at a bar on Sat night and a cute man kept looking over, I smiled and made eye contact, but he never came over. I gave him encouraging looks and a friendly smile, but it just didn't work. He even asked my male friend, if I was free. But I still ended up alone at the end of the night and no date. He left and that was the end of that ;-( I don't want to have to do any running, as it's not worked for me in the past and only ended up in heartbreak, so that's not the solution. Then I met another guy through a work colleague, he was apparently impressed with me. I told my work colleague that I was interested. He gave him my number, but I never heard back from him??? I have recently taken up a new sport, which I thought might be a good way of meeting new people rather than in bars and nightclubs. Each weekend, I go away to play sport, My mom makes comments "like did I not meet anyone yet?" I've told her to not make comments like this as my confidence is already at an all-time low, without her making it worse and putting me under pressure! Guys do make comments to me like "I bet you break a lot of hearts etc"....but then why am I always alone? I have a lot of male friends and get on really well with them, I'm friendly and outgoing and not aloof and standoffish. I just don't know what to do more to have someone want to date me??? I just feel really lonely. I do my best not to appear desperate or like I'm on the hunt for a man, so I always just enjoy myself and my friends...rather than sitting at the bar looking like I'm on the prowl. I don't appear all sulky or sad when I'm out, just smiling and approachable, but it never happens. Please help as I really miss having someone and I just feel like a dating failure! What am I doing wrong??? I am crying at my desk as I write this as I feel very low...
  23. My coworker, incredibly talkative, confident, popular. with everybody else. With me weird, nervous grinning, weird, doesnt stare,stares, smiles, doesnt smile, OMG!! after more than a year, we've finally gotten down to comfortabe 'hi' and work chit chat, but quite honestly its still a mess. We're too shy and awkward to talk! I saw him yest after 5 weeks of vacation, and for the first time,i saw him smile widely....he usually just gives me a grin or a smile. It was genuine, like he was happy to see me. I was too. But the eye contact is 0. Forget staring,now he wont even look at me. except when i was standing in the corridor,he was like "excuse me" only at me, when i was standing with 2 other coworkers. i cud be imagining, but ive got nothing else..... has he gotten past me? do u think he still likes me? coz im too shy to confront him abt all this! help
  24. Had this colleague who is supposed to be the ice queen and is very sarcastic towards a lot of guys. However, somehow when she sees me she will smile at me and try to make small talk with me although i never really introduced myself to her when I first entered the company two months ago. Shes my type but its a company.. a big one though and there are some concerns about approaching a girl and getting rejected in the process.. makes work a little difficult eh? Besides she is on the same floor and the other colleagues are complete gossips so any attempt will probably break out into the open which is bad..... What should I do?
  25. Hey, I am completely lost in this whole relationship thing. I have a "thing" for one of my coworkers, my age. I asked if he had a significant other, and he doesn't, so of course I wanted to ask him to do something. When I asked if he wanted to go to a movie with me & some friends he said he might have to work & then when I came in, he said he did. I thought he might be interested in me because he's always looking at me, and once I even got a smile from accross the room. However, he won't talk to me, even though he talks to all my other coworkers. He laughs with them & everything, but I can't get hardly two words out of him. If I ask him a question he always just answers it in one word and then walks away. I don't know what's up! -Kristin
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