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  1. I live in the US and I met a Brazilian girl on a dating app, and we've been talking for several months. Things are going great between us, and it took some time (Coronavirus travel concerns) to finally get myself to decide to get a ticket and take a month vacation to see her. Regarding my travel plans, I had spoken to a friend (who lives in a different country that I haven't seen in a few years) and he also happened to being going to Brazil as well. I told my girlfriend that I would meet up with my friend for 5-7 days in one state of Brazil and I would spend the remaining 3 weeks or so with her. The plan is to fly out in late early November. Unfortunately my friend has been having flight issues and the airlines changed his flight twice already and I am waiting to receive confirmation on the dates. I kept the my girlfriend in the loop. She has asked me several times about when I am going to book. I told her I'd book by Friday (yesterday). I am still waiting on some date confirmations so I have not yet booked, I thought...a few extra days won't be a disaster. Friday night she pointed out that.. she waits for me, and that I wait for my friend... I am always late and that she barely entered into the relationship and that she already feels like she's stuck with other people. Part of me feels bad for not fulfilling the booking reservation as promised/ told. But part of also felt down/ sad about her opinion of the matter. (Sad in the sense that, I feel like I am trying my best to make both work, but that's still not appreciated). Is it wrong to feel this way, because I am in the wrong (treating her like second choice)? Do I have my priorities mixed up? Is it that bad for trying to consolidate this trip experience? Am I doing something wrong here? Would any other girl or person feel as though they are unimportant or second priority because of my actions? I am not sure, what is the right thing to do? Thank you for any wisdom!
  2. Hi. I have been in a relationship with a nice man for a year now. He seems very invested in the relationship although for the first few months he moved very slowly. About 6 months into our relationship he went to Las Vegas with friends. He has since admitted that a few of the guys, some married were unfaithful. When I probed him on this he told me that they had used prostitutes. The difference between my guy and the others is that he doesn’t drink much alcohol or take any drugs. The reason I probed him Initially on the trip was because I felt uneasy when I saw the guys reaction months later when Vegas was mentioned. They looked uneasy. My head is telling me that he wouldn’t have admitted the friends had been unfaithful if he too was but I have had trust issues from previous relationships and it has made me feel uneasy. I remember him on one night messaging me from the trip and telling me to remember how much he liked me and my paranoid brain thought it seemed like odd timing at that time but as I am prone to overthinking I don’t know if it is my issue. He swears nothing happened but all guys looked guilty when the trip was mentioned a few months previous. At the time I thought it was my over active imagination that they looked guilty but obviously not. He reckons he looked guilty because his friends wives were there and he knew what had happened on the trip. He is different to his friends in lots of ways and has other groups of friends who wouldn’t do this kind of thing. Will I ever know for sure.. should I just put my doubt aside?
  3. My best friend who is married, has told me about his affairs In details.We talk about any and everything, so he is comfortable telling me these things.I don’t agree with his actions, and have told him what he does is wrong and maybe he need professional help. Recently he stopped talking to me. He went on a trip with one of his male friend and a woman that he has been having an affair with. He had only told me about going with the guy, he never mention the female. After he got back from his trip I called and text multiple times but he never respond to my text nor call me back. Few weeks later I ran into him, he acted strange and didn’t say much. He then later text asking “why did you do it?” I was Clueless, so I asked what he was talking about. He accused me of pretending not to know. About a week ago I found out he accidentally exposed a woman in his room to his wife on video call while on his trip. And that the wife then got details about his affair with the woman. And confronted him after he got home. All of this I didn’t even knew happen. But somehow now my friend thinks that I am the person who told on him. He is the type of person who sometimes don’t take accountability for things but rather look to blame others. I don’t think of him as the one who has gotten betrayed, his wife is the betrayed one. Whatever my feelings are about his actions, I did not told on him, as messed up of a person that he is for all his cheating he also have good ways and we've been friends for a very long time ,we both have been there for each other in some very tough times. It bothers me that he would think I told on him after He confided those things to me. We have a mutual acquaintance who had over heard me talking to him on phone about some of his behavior she later question me about what she heard but I didn’t give any info to her.. I sometimes wonder if it could be her that went to his wife. As well a few people also know of his affair. But I’m the only person who has spoke up to him in the past and let him know he needs to stop. He has now cut communication With me. It’s sad that our friendship is ending this way. I want him to know I did not out him. Any advice on how to go about convincing him is appreciated.
  4. So back in the middle of October I took a trip with my Boyfriend. I ended up wetting the bed, I was also bloated, stomach cramping and gaining weight fast. I saw the Urologist when I got back who blew me off. So I got a second opinion. The second urologist did imaging and saw I had a large mass in my bladder. She just went off the Ct Scan, she didn’t order any further imaging. I had a Cystoscope in November and she saw my bladder looks really good and healthy took a sample to biopsy. The only odd thing was she told me I had a large protrusion inside the bladder. But she said to follow up with obgyn. In January I end up in ER with horrible stomach cramping feeling like I’m dying. They order another CT scan which I’m not happy about. This one shows the mass more on the pelvic side then bladder side. I see her again, she says I must have tissue from the bladder protruding into the pelvic region and orders a ct guided biopsy. I go see my Gynecologist and he says not to do the biopsy. He sends me too Urogynecologist. I just saw her today and now I’m even more confused. She is sending me to an Oncologist Gynecologist who I got in STAT to see next Thursday. She’s top in her field and books always off in advance so to get in this quick is rare. The Urogynecologist went over all my procedure notes from what the Urologist did and found then through the Ct imaging. She told me I need to have different kinds of imaging. What’s being seen is this weird annexal structure with moderate amounts of blood flow that is in the right pelvic area. She told me it must have confused the urologist thinking it was in the bladder. Because it’s large and the ct scan was unclear. She told me it’s a right ovarian mass that’s probably been there since the Urologist went looking in the wrong area. So basically I’ve had this thing since the Cystoscope back in November and even farther back. It’s just unfortunately the Urologist accidentally over looked it. So my head is spinning because this confused me even more. She said that’s why the Oncologist Gynecologist will order an ultrasound and MRI to get better imaging on this thing. Unfortunately it’s not something she does in her field. I feel like an alien, what the heck is this thing on my Right Ovary that’s confusing every doctor? I’m bloated, I have back pain, it feels like I have endometriosis back. I asked, it’s not Endometriosis. I guess it doesn’t fit the look on the ct images for it to be endometriosis. I’m still leaking to where I’ve worn depends since October. I’m getting frustrated! I’m having a hard time losing weight because I’m so bloated. So I’ve just maintained. I’m on WW. Each different doctor has a different theory of what their looking at. They all do however agree on one thing, and it scares me! They think this may be a malignant growth of some sort based on its characteristics. Also the fact Ovarian and Breast Cancer run rapid in my family history. I’m 38, I don’t smoke, I don’t drink nor do I do drugs. I’m healthy in that regard. I had a hysterectomy five years ago due to endometriosis. The doctor took out everything but my right ovary for estrogen purposes. Lucky me! 😂 I see the oncologist gynecologist and I hope she has a better idea of the next steps forward. Sorry I wrote a novel. It’s been hard going through the run around. I needed to vent.
  5. My partner has a lot of medical issues, is in pain much of the time and has been feeling depressed. He is doing all he can to address these issues but can’t seem to shake his worry and negativity. He is clingy and very insecure. It has been this way for a long time but has gotten pretty bad. I would not say I am pulling away, although that’s probably what it feels like to him. I’ve been trying to stay close, be supportive and affectionate. But I am finding it harder and harder. I have to force myself to be intimate with him or even hold meaningful eye contact. Because I see he is looking for validation that we are okay when he looks at me that way and it is hard from me to give that to him when I am feeling this way. So, we just arrived in L.A. last night. I suggested to come here because he’s been wanting to visit some friends and family. Without mentioning it to him, I fear he won’t be able to travel as well in the future as his health is declining. So I’d like this to be a great trip for him. I am thinking of starting the day with a massage, from me, followed by some meditation. I would love for us both to get out of our heads and just enjoy ourselves. This will be easier said than done. But if I can snap out of it, I imagine he will pick up on it and not feel so down. Here’s the kicker, I feel in my heart that unless there is a major shift in both of us, we will not make a good team. The thought of leaving him makes me very sad but also gives me a feeling of great relief. It also worth mentioning that there are other reasons entirely that challenge my desire to stay. I am wondering if I can pull this off. We both know we are not okay. But maybe we can just forget about it for the week, quiet our minds and take in this strange city. Would it be cruel to possibly mislead him to believe we are okay? Or should I state my intentions. I’m leaning towards saying something like this, “We both know we have unresolved issues and matters weighing on us. But let’s agree to try not process it all now, let’s just try our best to be present and enjoy taking this place in and seeing your friends.” And then I will try with all my being to let go. Because I know that is the only way he will.
  6. Hello Everyone, I am new here and this is my first post. I have been talking to someone who lives in another state. We have been talking for a few years. We are not in a relationship but we have both said we are interested once in person. Well, I could say a lot more about it. However, my question right now is about purchasing a ticket to see each other. He is wanting to travel here but said he will once he has the money. He has asked me if I can help pay for the airplane or bus ticket. I told him I am unable to right now. I don't want to give him money for everything, but is this different? Should I make an exception for this and pay for the ticket? Should I offer to help pay for the ticket so that we can meet in person? Thank you very much to anyone who responds.
  7. I can't help but to be hurt after my girlfriend told me she was going to plan a trip to Hawaii with her girlfriend along with other trips (Australia, New Zealand). This is after I had suggested that there were some cheap flights to Hawaii some months back and maybe that was a trip we could consider. She said that she wasn't interested in Hawaii. When I brought that up a few days ago when she told me about about her trip plan to Hawaii with her friend, she said "well, I guess I am". Meaning, I guess I am interested in a Hawaii trip. But she still insists that Hawaii is really not something she was ever interested in. To be fair, she has traveled with her friends for years. She just recently came back from a cruise (not with me). Went to Cancun earlier this year (not with me). We went to Europe earlier this year by the way. She is going to Cancun again in February (Not with me but with a different friend. Not the Hawaii friend). But I still can't help but feel that she would rather travel with her friends. She goes on these, what I would consider should be romantic trips but just not with me. I really don't feel that she is going on romantic trips with her girlfriend but they would be if the trips were us together. I can't help but to feel hurt and I told her so. She said that "does she want me to just stop traveling with her friends?" No, but the whole Hawaii thing has me stressed. It's been a few days now and I can't seem to get over it. We had another conversation about it and I told her I was still upset. She said she didn't know what to do. She didn't want to disappoint her friend. (I guess it was better to disappoint me). I relented and basically said she should go with her friend. We have been seeing each other for 3 years. We don't live together but love our time together. Can anyone help me make sense of this? I just don't know what to feel about this.
  8. My boyfriend (26) has been on holiday with his friends for 4 days now and I (26) am not doing great tbh. He will be gone for another two weeks and it's the longest time we haven't seen each other since we started dating ten months ago. I have huge trust issues, as I was cheated on multiple times by multiple partners in the past. My current boyfriend however, is the sweetest guy ive ever met, really honest and has never given me any reasons not to trust him. And yet, I can't shake this feeling that he will cheat on me. It's completely irrational, but I can't help it. He knows about my trust issues and understands where they come from and comforted and reassured me when I told him I was feeling anxious about him going on holiday. I haven't spoken to him about this since he´s gone and have been very excited and supportive whenever he texts me and sends me photos etc. I try to keep myself busy by going out with friends and even by going on a short trip myself later this week. But deep down I'm so incredibly scared and anxious that something will happen, that he will cheat on me like multiple guys did before him. How do I handle these insecurities and learn how to give him the trust he deserves? Thanks!
  9. Hey everyone, hope you're all doing well. Long story short... The last few years has been what I consider the worst times of my life. in September 2015 my partner of over 8 years decided to leave me for a guy who she ended up marrying a year later. It threw my whole world upside down, as all these dreams & goals that we had together (or thought we had made) just blew up in my face, & I was pretty much left to pick up the pieces of my now shattered life. I know this might sound childish, but I was so emotionally invested in this person for so long and now I found myself single again, & having to literally reset my life at 31. Looking back now at 35, I saw it as an opportunity to get to know me again & really think about what I really want in my life & how I want to live, but yeah t's been a very heart aching, painful, emotionally draining process for me...and I'm still in the process kind of, I'm in a much better place emotionally now. That being said, I decided that I wanted to be debt by April next year, so I've been working a full time warehouse job to help me achieve that which is keeping that goal on track. The reason I've been feeling depressed a lot lately is because im 35 years old, I've never travelled the world outside of Australia (which is where i'm from), I don't even have a passport. I'm pretty much putting everything I make to paying off my debts by April next year so I can be debt free. I've been trying to avoid social media, seeing everybody (including my ex), who seemingly be having a great time travelling all around the world, while I'm just trying to get myself out of debt & get my life back...I've made so many hard sacrifices in the last few years & sometimes feel like is it all been worth it? I'm really yearning to quit my job, pack my bags and start travelling the world. But at the same time, I have this other yearning to be in a position where I will be 100% debt free by April next year which will put me in a debt free lifestyle position, where I guess i'd be able to have more money for travelling and more freedom to do it. (I only have my car loan left to pay off.) And I also plan to moving interstate next year to Adelaide South Australia, which I really love too...the rent is much cheaper than Sydney (where I am now), it's more relaxing & I feel I can get ahead much faster there...and plus I really miss living there too, & given all that has happened in the last few years with my ex, my finances etc...all this happened in Sydney where I am now, so I feel I need to change states. So my current plan is to just stick it out with my job until April next, i'll be completely debt free by then, then I can resign from that job & leave for Adelaide around July, & start travelling after I leave my job in April. Right now I guess I'm feeling very anxious & impatient bcoz its been a long time to be at this point where I am so close to being debt free & moving away. And as bad as I want to travel right now, which I cud if i really want to, I keep having the same thought in my mind saying to me "Just stay the course, stay focused on being debt free in April. Travelling the world debt free will be much sweeter than travelling with debt." I know there's tonnes of debates out there about debt free travelling lifestyle vs travelling while in debt. For me personally, this is not just financial baggage im letting go of, its emotional baggage too from 2015. I really do love the idea of living a debt free lifestyle, no mortgage, no car payments etc...deep down i know my gut is telling me to keep my eyes on the main goal which is freedom of debt which will lead to lots of travel. And I don't want to be in a position where I have to work like a dog in some job to pay off the travel that I did a year ago. Since my car loan is the only debt I have left, by cutting back on nice things, clothes, travelling etc, until April next year, I'll have it all paid off 20 months earlier, which I guess would be 20 months gained for travelling the world debt free...and i'll also have the money I need to move back to Adelaide by July as well. In the meantime now, I've just been sticking to that plan, & actually planning my travelling, looking at prices etc ahead of time & just deciding where I would love to start my debt free travel lifestyle, which has been lifting my spirits. But yeah, I'm trying to stay focused on the main goal & not let myself feel depressed or tricked into travelling right now just because I'm seeing people on social media doing it. I guess it's only 6 months until I'm debt free, and what's a another 6 months to achieve a debt free life for travel? How many people out there could say that right? If anyone out there could shed some light on this that would be great. :-) I'm sorry for blabbering on... Love you guys!
  10. I'm dating this guy for half a year and everything has been amazing. We're compatible in everyway. Everything is perfect except his mom is usually too invasive and protective of him. Whenever they visit his grandparents' city, his mum wouldn't let him board the train alone (he's 26 and the city is among those that have the lowest crime rate in the world). When he insisted to go out alone, they would be worried about him all the time. When we first started dating, he was planning a two people trip in my country but his mom wanted to come along though he explained it was intended to be a couple trip. We ended up travelling with his mum and it feels super awkward as we couldn't hold hands or kiss in front of her. It's not like I didn't want to travel with her and get to know her but I was just a bit concerned about the fact that he told me no one in his family could ever say no to her. The trip was a success (I could tell she didn't hate me). What concerns me again was that on the final day, his mum met up with his dad who was travelling for his business trip and we seprated from them. Before that, his mum was askimg him how we would get there and if we're gonna stay together and said she doesn't think we should sleep together cause we've just met. I found this to be absolutely rude and invasive. Afterall, it should be us who decide if we want to stay together. I came from a developing country while he's half Asian and Australian (both are developed countries). His mum was extremely worried when he visited me. When she was there she said this in a joking manner "Isn't this the most dangerous place in the world". She now stays mostly with his aging grandparents. Everytime he goes there it becomes incredibly hard to talk to him as he's always being made doing things with them. I don't want to take up all of his time but even calling for 10 or 15 minutes a day is difficult. We once tried. He sat in the bathroom (the house was small so it's more private to talk in tbr bathroom). We were talking before his grandma knocked on the door telling him to go play mahjong with them. He told them to go ahead without him. A while later, his mum angrily knocked om the door asking why he hasnt yet gone out play with them. I was shocked at how rude this is. They knew he was talking to me and still knocked on the door and shouted in loudly. Of course I heard and understood everything they said. It feels like being shouted in the face. We sometimes did some short trip together within Australia. His mom who is staying temporarily (she travels back and forth between two countries very often) with his grandparents would get angry if he didn't tell her about the trip (sometimes he was just busy and didn't have the chance yet to tell her). Most recently, he called him asking him if he has to pay for everything during our trips and this is the last straw for me. It's ubderstandable that she's overprotective and can worry too much about his safety but this one is just unacceptable. I feel insulted so I stormed out and went home. It might be cultural but I believe in most cultures, parents don't interfere with financial arrangement between couples. What she asked basically makes me feel like I'm desperate for his money tho he's not that rich. We were recent graduates looking for full time jobs. I worked hard while studying to support myself. He got small savings from scholarship. We either do 50 50 when together or he shouted me and I shouted him back. But even if he had paid for everything it was none of her business. He also admitted he felt suffocated from his mom being overbearing but again people in his family (his dad and older sister) are not very good at going against her will. He lives with his parents and we're planning to move out soon but after this I have a feeling it's gonna next move to "Do you have to cover everything for her living together?" Or in the future "do you have to pay for everything for the wedding". This makes me just want to move away to another city far away from her but I'm sure she will hate me for that and think I'm manipulating her son. I really love my boyfriend and don't want to lose him. Just don't know how to deal with his mum.
  11. I have been friends with my bf for the past 3 years. We started dating 1.5 years ago and are currently in an ldr til the end of the year. For the most part, it's not the best but it's alright. We skype each other every weekend. My bf has a close female friend that he has also introduced me to. He says they regard each other as siblings. They spend a lot of time together in school and even pick to be on the same projects together. When i was in the same country, he would always ask me along whether I wanted to join them, unless they were discussing about relationship topics that they didn't want me to hear. She's also overall supportive of the relationship in actions and words like she advised him to give the ldr a shot etc. I really believe they do not see each other romantically or sexually because if they did, it would have long happened already. They are also planning a graduation vacation together. just the two of them. I said I wanted to go (essentially fear of missing out) and he says that my school schedule would clash with the vacation so it's impossible for me to tag along. As a compromise he said he would go on another trip with me when I am back from the LDR, but no concrete plans yet. I know it sounds a bit shady to go on vacation together with someone of the opposite gender alone, but I don't think anything would happen. I'm more so jealous that she can have a long vacation with him, whereas when I am back, I won't get such a chance to do so (I would have school starting soon, and when I graduate, he would have graduated too and started working, so taking time off for a long vacation would be tricky). In the end, partially because he's going on his trip anyway, and partially because I have no other friends who would vacation with me (they couldn't take days off to travel the dates i want), I also decided to go on a trip to a place i've been dying to go with a guy friend of mine who knows that I have a bf. I know my guy friend doesn't see me that way either (we knew each other when i was dating someone else and we just bounce off r/s advice with each other, we are using the time to also catch up about our old friend group that i havent seen or talked to since my ldr started). My bf says that in the end no matter what his opinion is, if I don't go, I'll be unhappy either ways, so it's better that I go as long I know what the limits are. We try to do separate rooms, else separate beds to save cost for the vacation, and I keep my bf updated on the plans. My bf is more concerned that I am going on an a separate solo trip vs being with a guy friend ^^; Side note: I know if my bf decided to not go for the trip alone with her, I would just sacrifice my dream to go for that vacation as well. Of course I'd rather go for a dream trip with my bf, but he's working right now and can't that much time off. In addition he doesn't want to go to that place with me because he says it's too cold when he would be able to do so, and also he doesn't really want to blow the cash on seeing a place he doesn't really want to see. In contrast he will be seeing a place that he wants to be in during his graduation trip. My main issue is the jealousy that stems from not being as close to him vs her. He says that she is more important vs me because she has known him for a longer time and they know each other better than me knowing him (when we were just friends we really don't talk as much). But he also says that if we get married then of course I will be more important so i shouldn't worry. I asked several friends and people on the internet and most of them say I should move on because it doesn't seem I am a priority to him. They would also say that if they were him they will just spend time with me for my dream vacation (i find this unfair though? It doesn't take into account he has to decide between spending the amount of money to see something he likes vs something he doesn't like). But, it's an ldr. What else can he possibly do to show that I am a priority other than being consistent with the Skype and texting me back? I have voiced out that I feel jealous and sad over the vacation plans and that's why he said he will compromise by going on the other trip with me (probably a nearby, short one) and it's alright that he has to spend extra money to do so. He also says that their relationship is just that of 'siblings' and eventually they will be more close to their own partners but it doesn't happen overnight, which is logically true.. I haven't told him that I feel jealous about her being closer to him, but then again I am not sure what to be suggesting to help myself 'ease' that feeling.
  12. I know you guys are about as sick of this as I am, but this is so retarded. Ok my ex and I of 3 years got the chance to put everything to rest alittle over a month ago. The last thig she said was she'd still like to see me from time to time, I thought ok, sure why not. (I'm not going to go out of my way) That being said, tell me what's up with this...We live kinda close to each other so we see each other on the road, but every time she see's me she floors it and peals out. (smoke and all -sometimes) She's got a nice new car and drive'n it like that is going to tear it up. But what the hells her problem? It's things like this that have made getting over her so easy. I guess she's mad about something, but this is sick. It wouldent be so bad if it was every once in a while, but damn, every time she sees me??? I almost want to find another way home for the sake of her poor little car. She's a trip.
  13. Hello. I have a new situation. This past week I spent four valuable days riding accross the U.S. on Amtrak. There was a bit of fate involved here...I was on a train I was not scheduled to ride, but my first train was delayed due to a tunnel fire. So I scrambled to catch a train in Sacramento, California. On board, I met a group of people also travelling out East. One by one, we all departed at various stops, but one of the group was with me until Syracuse, New York. He was a handsome, outgoing young man who was journeying home after being in California for a week. We didn't speak until Chicago, when we found out we were being transferred to the same train. We talked while we were waiting, and he seemed quite attentive to me,which brightened my day. When we finally boarded, we discovered we had to ride in separate cars due to our differing destinations. As I was herded away, he called out to me, "Meet me in the lounge!" An hour later I went to the lounge and found he had just arrived there,looking for me. We got some food and continued talking. Hours passed and we did not move from our seats. The attendant for my car saw our developing bond and gave us permission to sit in the lounge for the rest of our trip. All night we talked and laughed. My new friend begged me to get off the train with him in Syracuse. In fact, he asked me all night to come with him, but I had to refuse because I had set plans I couldn't break. He was very disappointed, but made me promise to visit him in Syracuse on my way back,which will be on the 29th. It is a crazy event for me,and I am not sure how he climbed into my heart, but he did. He let me sleep in his arms, and his embrace was a light, warm place....He told me this was love at first sight for him,that I was completely unique, that he wanted for me to "be his girl." He marvelled over how much we had in common, and told me he found me intelligent and alluring. I know it all seems so silly and unrealisitc, but I cannot help keeping him on my mind,wondering why he has not called. He told me he would call me last night to see if I arrived, but he did not. Again, my heart is on my sleeve. I was very cautious and did not reveal too much of my heart to him, but I wonder why he has not attempted to contact me. The entire time I was with him I scrutinized his actions to determine if he was being sincere. Maybe he was not, and I was just a few hours of diversion for him. Is this why he has not called? Perhaps men would rather enjoy a woman's company for a brief time, and just find relaxtion and pleasure in flirting heavily with a new girl? I do not know. He litterally pleaded all night for me to deboard the train and come with him. Just a ploy? He made me solemnly promise to visit him on my way back, and asked me to call him. Should I? I have been told that if a woman calls, a man quickly loses interest because there is no more challenge. I would like to call him (I feel in the mood for a romantic adventure, and this man has struck a chord in my being) but is this not advisable? I am always checking my phone in hopes that I will see he has called. Dear me, I am such a hopeless romantic. I need advice desperately...a man's point of view would help me greatly.
  14. Ok I have met the moost amazing yet confusing woman.We date for only threee months but friends for about five months before.After three months she breaks up with me because I had lied to her.It was around tax time and she asked me if I did my own taxes,I told her yes( i havent claimed in a few years,I make so little that i didnt bother)But she found out from a friend that I had not paid.I was ashamed of the fact I havent paid so i lied.I accepted the break up and apologized profusely. Two days later she was calling me again and three weeks later we were back together.We were back together for only three dates and she dumped me again .This time it was because"we are very different people"( i have never met anyone ,man or woman that I had so much In coomon with). after two weeks of NC we were back hanging out as friends .She would call me just to say hi and flirt with me too.Then one day i called her on the phone and told her it was too hard being friends and i started crying i poured my heart out to her.anyway we talked for three hours about how much fun we used to had and she told me what she liked about me. She asked me to go out with her in a few days and invited me on a camping trip with her friends and said I could stay in her tent.We hung out two days in a row after that(first time in about 7 weeks) and she was holding my hand and resting her head on my shoulder and sitting on my lap and hugged me during this time. Well we went camping on the July 4 weekend.Iasked her on the second day of the trip if we could do something alone without the others.BIG MISTAKE(she was offended that i wanted more than friends).since then things have been real weird .She doesnt call me anymore and wer dont hang out anymore when we do see each other it is real awkward and we have nothing to say to each other. I have done the NC for two weeks ,the day after i eneded the NC she sent me an email saying" it was nice to talk to me yesterday but i feel uncomfortable around you because i struggle to think of things to say to you". I dont know if i should continue then NC or try to communicate with her.If I keep doing NC we will have even less to talk and things might conyinue to be awkward, but she might miss me( we see each other every weekend as part of a bike club).or should i try to communicate with her and find out why things are awkward now. thanks for any advice
  15. My trip to hell Drip drop upon the floor I must stop yet I need more The crimson tears upon my skin Showing what I hide within Tick tick goes the clock on the wall Waiting for my final fall My trip to hell that I will take The reminiscence of my last mistake Death is made so complicated Yet not know that I have faded Away from life family and friends Scars that only death mends Though scary as it may seem Its more like a happy dream Taking away all my pain Death is all I have to gain Not a tear shall be cried for me No noise as my soul runs free Freedom like never before As I walk through hell's fiery door Comments are appreciated. ~Meagan~
  16. Hi guys, just want to post an update. Last week I posted here asking whether or not I should go hang out with my ex. So I decided to go. He called me a day earlier to make sure that we were still on the plan. I was kind of nervous and felt like I was about to burst into tear when I was on the way to see him but that feeling was gone when I reached our meeting place. We met for a dinner and hung out at a bar. When we first saw each other there were awkward moments but soon after that we were just fine and there was a lot of talk to catch up on each other. He treated me as if we were on a date though. He wanted to hold hands, kiss and hug but I kept pushing him off because I knew where my limits were. It was nice seeing him after such a long time and my feeling is now obviously that I don't 'need' to be with him. I was in love with him but now I only love him and I don't mind being his friend (unless he treats me bad down the road, then I also don't mind cutting all the ties). At the end I told him it was nice seeing him and wished him a good luck for his trip if I didn't see him again (he is going for a vacation in 2 months). He then said we would meet again before his trip and he would be in touch. Thank you all of you for the advices you guys gave me. This meeting turned out to be a good and no tension one as we could talk more openly and actually had fun.
  17. Today i woke up with a new hope and a new pride but in the end there is no real way to hide its all the emotions combined in a hour glass as the time wastes away drop by drop ive never really learned to work things out through your eyes i feel so lost and alone because ive lost all hope i used to think of you to ease my pain but your so far away i really do need a place to hide for im running cold and blind the feet they begin to go numb and the toes lose feeling i trip i fall its all a scene that i cant recall i find nothing at the end of the tunnell there are no answers nor no real reasons its all a joke because of all this i never lean agaisnt anyone and soon all of it will end as the bullet has a final fate of our final descent..
  18. The ex gf and I started out as just friends , she is a really good friend with a guy friend of mine. We started to hang out more and more and it was becoming obvious that there was attraction on both parts . Then one day she told me; she liked things the way they are right now , just as friends.So we agreed to be just friends.. I was a little disappointted but I really liked her just as a friend , so I was OK with it. A few days later we were hanging out at her place , we started wrestling on the couch and I kissed her , she kissed me back and we started making out.She then reminded me what she had said about just being friends ,but said what the hell it felt so right. We were together as a couple for about three months and we got along amazing , we had so much fun together. We just clicked so well, but I always got the feeling she was hesitant or nervous about the relationship. we would kiss for hours , but she wouldnt have intercoerse with me , we would do evrything else except intercourse. She tried to break up with me one day , because she thought I was not commited to a relationship to her, I proved to her how much I cared about her and things were goog for a couple of weeks . She broke up with me again and gave me some lame excuse and told me she didn't want to be involved with me,she kissed me before telling me this though .So,she was calling me again a few days later and asked me back after a couple of weeks. We spent a couple of nights together then she started to avoid me and broke up with me again. Told me she wanted to be just friends like we agreed. I accepted this and tried to be her friend , but she was always giving me mixed signals (intimate touching).So,the being just friends bit was getting to me and I poured my heart out to her one day, she told me she was not interetesd in me anymore, but she asked me out a couple of days later. She was holding my hand for the first time in two months and being very touchy around me, she was even hugging me. She invited me on a camping trip with her friends (guys). She asked me to come camping with her, and let me share her tent. the camping trip went Ok , but there seemed to be a little tension. So, after the trip she started to avoid me. until I called her up one day , she told me she was uncomfortable around me now because I was "cold" to her friend on the camping trip. After a couple of months of NC I sent her a birthday card, she absolutly loved it.She talked about doing things together again in the future.We were talking for hours again and even being flirtatious. She asked me out a couple of times and again invited me to go camping with her friends ( guy).She invited a guy she dated briefly about a year ago. The first day I was a little cold around him ,but I started to talk to him the next couple of days. Me and the ex had a great time , we were just being friends but she was paying more attention to me than the other two guys she even snuggled up to me around the campfire .I thought the trip went well. After the trip I started getting the feeling she was avoiding me again,but she was very busy and stressed over her graduate studies ,so I left it at that. Now, after a few weeks I knew she was avoiding me , I just tried to be nice to her hoping she would stop avoiding me, but after a couple of months It was starting to piss me off .I would see her around and she would talk to me one day and ignore the next for no reason , I couldnt figure it out So, I tried to avoid her,but she was always very friendly to me when we see each other around.The longer we didnt see each other the more friendly she was. Last week I called her to ask her why she was avoiding me.Her reason ;she did not feel comfortable around me because I was "cold" to her friend at the camping trip.That blew me away ,I thought we had an awesome time. She said she couldnt be with someone who was not nice to her friends. She told me I was always good to her ,and she had a lot of fun with me , but I was not friendly to others. I am a shy person and not the most outgoing person in the world but I am not unfriendly to people.I do try to be social, i just give a bad first impression with some people. It seems like as soon as things get to close for her comfort she looks for any reason to get away from the relationship.She never tells me when something bothers her , she would rather just end the relationship. I have never once put any pressure on her , I never talked about relationship stuff, I always treid to keep it light and fun. I took things real slow .I always let her make all the first moves. She use to tell me that I was "different and not like other guys. I am just really frustrated now. When we went camping we were "just friends". So why is it that her other friends are more important to her than me? Any opinions on this please. BTW she is 33.
  19. No no, I'm not talking about political parties! I've been going to parties for twentysomething college students, and mostly what happens is a lite potluck, hours of open-minded, intelligent conversation, an enigmatic DJ playing somewhere in the corner, then a wild dance party that lasts until 5 am in the morning..typical stuff. Overall it's a better experience than going to a huge dance club with friends, because you're having fun with people that you already know...or want to get to know. So it would be cool if we could share some of the funniest or interesting topics that we've talked about at a college parties, ranked from the highest to the lowest. Topics like: Events, independent films, social issues, drunken escapades, funny stories, travel experiences, e.t.c. Let's have fun with this!
  20. Hello there. I have posted on this site before and still would like a little more input. I am 25 y/o and been with the same girl for over 5 years. She recently broke up with me. I am very confused. We did everything together. We truly love each other. We rarely fought and our communication was pretty good. SHe lived at my house. We have been broken up now for about 5 weeks. I havent talked to her in a month or so. I know that i have to give her what she needs right now but i just dont know how you just walk out on something so beautiful after 5 years. People would always ask us how we did it. how we could be so good together after so long. I am just so hurt and confused. We went to a concert together one week after she broke up with me. SHe took me out to dinner and then we went for a couple of drinks afterward. At the end of the night she grabbed my hand and told me that she really had a great time. Then she told me that we didnt know what was going to happen and that she haddent counted anything out. SHe said she just really needed to be alone right now. One thing that sticks with me is, about 3 days before she broke up with me she told me that should cancel my trip for new year to be with her. She said "we have been together to lond and we are to strong for you to miss a whole trip for one night" She then went on and made me promise her that i would spend christmas at her house this year, which she was very adiment about. I dont know exactly what is going through her head. SHe is very busy with school and is trying to get into grad school next year. we havnt been able to spend much quality time together as our scheduals conflict, but we always made any time we could. She told me that she couldnt talk to me and that she will call me after her exams are over and we should hang out then. I am nervous to see her and dont know what to think. My head is so F---ed right now and i am so hurt. any advice on my currant situation would be great. THanks so much Sincerly J,D
  21. Ok, this is an update to my last post, link removed Well, today, right away in the morning, When I saw her, things went awesome, I couldn't believe it, it was feeling liek a relationship. After I talked to her for a bit, my frined needed to talk to me, so I turned around and talked to him for a bit, and my gf's friend that she hasnt talked to in awhile came over and started talking to my gf, I could over hear what they were talking about, even though they were trying to be quiet and they thought i was too busy with my friend, I heard her tell her friend that I asked her out, and her friend was liek"OMG, I cant believe it, hes so cute this is unbelievable (OH I kno, I wouldnt consider myself too cute, but this was a big boost for my self estem and it felt good 8) ) and then I looked out the corner of my eye, and my gf, was kinda jumpin up and down sayin "ya i kno, I cant believe it", and she seemed really happy and estatic, telling her friend that, So after her friend left, I went up to her and were were just talking, now during the field trip, things kind of changed a bit, she didnt sit near me, which was ok I guess, she sat with her best friend, so I was like ok no biggie, I was sittin by myself close to her, but then she got up, and went and sat with my friend and was having a good conversation with him, and they were laughing liek crazy (I was pretty mad at both of them at that point, especially becasue my friend knows the problems Im having And knows Im trying to fix them, and hes making everything worse) and then we kind of hung out on the field trip, but at luch, she went off with her friends, and ditched me again, kind of frustrating, but oh well I had my friends to hang out with, then, the rest of the trip, we didnt hang out at all, she kind of ignored me again, so I got pretty angry, but didnt show it (I never show How im feeling, or tell somebody if im having a problem with them), then on the bus ride back, she saw me sittin by myslef, so she came and sat with me, btu I dodnt talk much, because of earlier, and I was thinkin of a way to break up with her then, then we got to school, and she started acting awesome again. So, now I've decided, to wait a bit longer on breaking up, Im going to say something soon like, "hey when do I get to meet your dad so we can start getting together (her dad wants to meet me before she comes over), and if she kind of delays, or says, I dont know, im just going to assume, she really isnt interested that much so Im going to break up with her, and if she gives me an invitation to meet him, I'll do that, then well get together a couple times, and see how that goes. Well thanks for reading this monster post, any comments or suggestions? thanks, Josh.
  22. I met this wonderful guy a few weeks ago. We had this connection that was mutually acknowledged, but we´re both shy people and took it slow. A girlfriend of mine was interested in him at the time, and although they never got together, I felt weird about being with him. We saw eachother only in group settings. He´s from out of town, and was here for a very brief period. He will be moving to my town to attend university (masters degree), but that´s not until February. We´ve been e-mailing eachother, and we spoke on the phone yesterday. He seems very cautious of coming on too strong and scaring me off, especially because he had a pretty painful breakup due to being "too dependent" on his ex. We talked about maybe going camping together, since it´s something we both enjoy. But now it seems to me like that´s too intimate of a thing to do with someone I barely know, and I don´t know how comfortable I would feel. On the other hand, it could be a nice way to get to know him since we´ll be alone, and in that context we´ll probably get over some of our shyness. Another alternative would be to meet eachother halfway in a nice town for a few days, to do some sightseeing and what not. Bottomline is that February is just too far... we both want to see eachother asap. I´m seriously not trying to rush anything, I just miss him and want to see him. Is it too soon to travel together?
  23. I feel a bit disturbed at present. This is why- I broke u with my ex about a year ago because I found out that he had been cheating on me whilst interstate on a business trip. I told him to go away and he ended up shacking up with the other girl. I was hurt, bummed out etc but after a month I met somebody very nice and we started a relationship. I got my life back together again. Meanwhile evry month or so my ex would sms me and I would ignore him. This went on for nearly a year before I finally told him to go away and to please not contact me. Anyway, a week ago I came home and my ex turned up. I was having a little party at the time so I let him in (i was drunk and shocked). I made small talk awhile and he met my new boyfriend. I asked him why he was there and he had no answer. What is going on? Why did he do this? How do i make him leave me alone?
  24. Hey All, I've come out of two long term relationships. The last one broke my heart, but 4 months I started feeling better about myself and doing my own thing. Recently I rekindled a relationship with an old friend who lives in Holland (I live in the UK), she was really supportive especially in the aftermath of my last break up. Anyway she came to visit me - and honest to God I never expected anything to happen - it just did we clicked. This was in Septmeber, we kept in touch nearly daily by txt message, phone and email. I came back from visiting her last Monday and I had a fab time. However, before going there she said not to expect too much of her she was badly hurt in her last relationship and believes I also need to focus on myself and my life. This I know is the right thing, she has really grounded me and taught me not to throw myself totally with my emotions into something, as an excuse not to focus on myself (which is true I have made the same mistake in the last 2 relationships). She wants to see how things go, but is rightly adamant that we should keep the situation as it is for the time being and see where it goes. I have come back though feeling anxious, needing confirmation from her that something will come of it. I am worried I may become to intense again due to my insecurities and scare her off - which I do not want. She's saying she wants to move away with me and tells me she is thinking of me and looking forward to seeing or hearing from me, she also called me her boyfriend a couple of times, introduced me to her parents and her niece. Has my picture at work and home. We even have a scary connection, I pick vibes off her and know when something is wrong, similar characters and experiences bind us together. Even with all this positive evidence I get mixed messages. For example, before my trip and after coming back she sounded cautious, not wanting to give too many emotions away, or open herself up too much. Actually while I was there she said I had been a bit intense with my affections. I am so scared I will become too intense and drive her away, worried she may meet someone else. I hate feeling like this, I want to feel confident and secure, but my own insecurities and self-esteem are driving these emotions. When I was with her she would have moments of great affection and other moments of real distance, I don't know how to read them? Is she scared of being hurt again? Do you think she is serious about me? After all she's already planning her next trip to be with me in a month or so! Am I being paranoid, maybe I should just relax and see where it goes? I just need that reassurance from her, which she is probably giving me, but I don't take it as being enough? Please help me, suggest what I should do, I really do not want to screw this up. I guess part of her still feels I am hooked on to my ex, which I am not! I am in love with her, but I haven't told her this, because I believe it will add to her uncertainty. Please help me guys? I have for the first time met a woman who is independent, grounds me and makes me feel so exceptionally well when I am with her. All suggestions and advice are welcome and guarantee a place in my heart for all of you. Thanks, as always David
  25. OK I will try to make this short. I know in my mind what I believe but will be nice to see input from others. This is all very new for me..only found out 3 days ago so bear with me. My husband travels for his work. I have had suspicions that things weren't right for a while. Some trips he would rarely call home. This last one he was out of the country for over 1 week. When he got home I was looking thru his receipts to find our bank statement and came accross 2 women's names, numbers(cell and home), and email addy's. I then went to the computer and logged into his work email(ok I was mad!). There I found at least 5 emails between him and one of the women. There were things such as...they kissed, went out for drinks, said things such as "I miss you", "wish you could come with me", etc. There were mentionings of phone calls to her while he was there, asking for her home #, telling her he'd write everyday. I FLIPPED! I confronted him, he denied, said it was the guy he was traveling with that was emailing her(just so happens they have the same 1st name, lucky me). I know they do use 1 email acct when away...whoever logs on 1st, everyone uses that one cause it is $$$. But that's not saying I believe him. OK, anyway, of course I have my doubts. Yes he lied to me about this. I asked if he did anything fun on his trip. He replied that all he had time for was work. I asked this AFTER I knew he had went out. He was caught in a huge lie. He finally admitted to obtaining her contact info, and yes going out to dinner/drinks w/her and the friend who has the same name(he called her and invited her). He said that was all and claims that he made a mistake. I have no trust now. I feel so deceived. Do you consider this infidelity? Would you believe they were not his emails? How can one get past the feelings after this? Can you ever trust someone again...especially since I know he will continue to travel? I almost feel like...man they didn't have sex I should be happy. But of course I am hurt. I am just so confused.
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