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About Me

Mod Notes

  1. Well, I havent posted in a bit, so I thought I would share what I have been up to. I finally got my monitor calibrated so I went back and re-edited some of my older photos. In addition, since I last posted I also took a trip to Yosemite National Park in California so I have some of those to show as well. Anyways, now the photos! I already posted this first image on these boards before. However, after calibrating my monitor I realized that the colors were not quite right and that the ground was WAY WAY too dark. So here is the re-edit. There are still some minor edits that need to be made such as noise reduction and some color balancing, but its close to being finished, so here it is. image removed This second image was taken at night from Glacier Point in Yosemite National Park. If anyone is unaware this is a view of the Milky Way. I also managed to capture a shooting star in the middle there. image removed This next image is El Capitan in Yosemite National Park. This was captured from Cathedral Beach on the Merced River as the first light of the day fell on the top of the mountain. image removed I may have posted this fourth image before, but this was taken last March in Iceland. After driving through the fog for quite some time, the fog opened and we were greeted to the setting sun creating some amazing colors in the sky. image removed I think there may be a 4 image limit (I could be wrong) but thats a good stopping point for the moment.
  2. I went down to Tennessee for a weekend getaway to the Great Smoky Mountains and wanted to share my photos with you. Also, sorry if these are a little too large for the forums, but I didnt want to reduce the size that much. This first one is actually better larger. The photo came out blurry which actually led to it looking like a painting. image removed image removed image removed And last, but certainly not least... in what is my favorite photo from the trip, and one of my all time favorites that I have taken image removed And of course, any and all technical details can be shared if anyone is interested.
  3. my boyfriend (of 4 years) and i have decided to split and jsut be friends while i am gone to school because of the distance between us. we still love each other very much and it hurts to be away from him so ive put my grieving into this quilt i started to make. i am painting each square and will eventually sew them all together. each square is something that we had together or enjoyed together. once it is done i want to send it to him to let him know ill still always be there no matter where life takes him. background on the 4 squares. the little dinosaur one is because i used to say *rawr* instead of i love you to be cute, ice cream one because we used to always go out in the summer and get icecream together, hugz is well for hugs and love rocket is because instead of just putting a
  4. As I listen to a familiar tune, My mind is shadowed by the darker side of a familiar moon, And I travel back in time to the days where it didn't make sense, Where I think about things at my sanity's expense. Letting out a sigh, All too familiar, I wonder why I'm back again, To a place I've left behind. I can't forget my past, Nor should I try, Because it's what made me strong, The present is where I belong. As the familiar tune ends in a familiar way, I run out of things to say, And move on with my night, Another day, another fight.
  5. I have observed what goes on outside the french window so many times with more curiosity than just plain noseiness. Today the sky is bright blue and there is hardly a cloud in sight. The large trees that surround the street stand tall with thick chocolate brown trunks and long branches some thich and others thin. The wind sways the bright green summertime leaves back and fourth. So many different coloured flowers that only bloom in summer, colours of white, yellow, raspberry pinks and lilacs surround front gardens, some you can see planted in the soil others you can see peeking out of bushes twinkling like gem stones. I don't suppose many people would be that interested in writing about what they see every day, most people get up at seven in the morning maybe sip coffee whilst they get ready to rush of to their nine to five lives, most people care about the more practical, logical things like making sure the tank in the car is full with petrol, others rush so they don't miss their buses or trains. There are very few that see things that are hidden, undiscovered and those things, the unseen things are the most beautiful of all. You would think I would be outside the window inhaling the fresh air and enjoying the way the sun feels on my skin. You would think I would have a daily routine like most people do. You see all of us have options I could choose to go about every day life I could travel in the rush hour if I wanted to, I could do what I should be doing but I choose not to. You want to know why?, because if I choose to step outside I have to ask myself a question. Who am I really when I step outside into the world?, If I could go back in time and observe me from outside the window I'd say I don't make eye contact with anyone just the floor, my body language is uncomfortable and the way I'm walking means I just want to get today over with and fast. I stay hidden in a crowd and on a one on one basis. When I'm out there I wear a mask and a imaginary shield protects me from everyone and everything, I don't feel anything apart from the breeze in my hair and the sun on my skin. I could say who I am isn't who I'm meant to be, but maybe it is. Maybe the parts that I hate so much about myself like being socially awkward, maybe I am just meant to be that way. Maybe I wasn't born to fit in, maybe I was born to be the observer, the writer. Most days I see the same three men walk past my house. The first man always walks past my house in the morning sometimes at nine sometimes at ten. He is tall and slender and looks in his thirites. No matter what the weather he always wears a long leather coat that flys out at the back when he walks, it kind of looks like a cloak. His black hair is always slicked back in that old fashioned way and his skin is so white and flawless and he always carries the same intense look on his face. He feels like an outcast, like he doesn't belong I can sense it from him. I don't see him as what other people might label him as, I look at him and I see hes just misunderstood with an old fashioned charm about him. The second man walks past my house in the afternoon and he is young, in his twenties and he is lovely looking. He either wears a gray or a baby blue jump suit and I know he's a mechanic. He is a average size with blonde short hair and blue eyes, he always looks thoughful whilst he smokes his cigarette, I always feel like smokers smoke for a reason and that reason isn't to look cool. The last man that walks past my house is also tall his skin is a light olive tone and his face has so much bone structure to it he wears glasses and a hat with a dull green coloured coat and a dull colour gray rucksack, I can't sense as much from him as I can sense from the other two but I can tell he's not like most people. Whenever I see these three men walk by I feel a kind of connection to them and I feel like maybe they feel alone like I do. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to open the door and walk up to each of them and tell them that I see them walk past my house every day and that I can sense their emotions, but that would be just weird. The truth is I don't know anything about them and I never will. We will never know absoloutly everything about everyone, we think we do but we don't. That's the mystery, the beautiful thing that is unseen.
  6. “Lamb chop my welsh beauty” Or the sheep shaggers serenade Tw’as on a trip to Cardiff My true love I did spy, Tw’as her little hairy arsehole That first did catch my eye, Lamb chop I did name her As she leapt among the grass, I knew I was about to violate That gorgeous fluffy ass, I crept among the bushes That ringed the farmers land, I snook up close behind her With a noose, and * * * * in hand, I pounced upon my true love She let out a loud bleet, I thought that she would run off So I bound her little feet, I entered dear old lamb chop Her arsehole it did stink, She turned around to face me And gave a knowing wink, I pounded and I pounded In rapture and delight, Good old lamb chops arsehole Was nice n snug n tight, I left my true love lamb chop Well satisfied I would say, I’m having a relaxing cigarette Cause I’d had my wicked way, Now if you see my lamb chop And her arsehole it dose beckons, Just you damm Remember You’ll be having my sloppy secons. -Author unknown
  7. Well you got what you wanted An end to our story And I got what I wanted An end to our conflict I never dreamed in the beginning That you would be the one I wanted You never dreamed in the end I would be the one to leave In between we stayed hidden Not turning up our cards You didn't want the guilt And I didn't want the pain Now that it's all over Now that it's all been said We've done exactly what we feared And left the table empty handed So our story has ended And we can go on with our lives Letting go of the guilt and pain Taking only the good parts I learned to be accepting That things might not work out You learned to be more careful With someone you care about Goodbye, my handsome lover I'll always remember you For being with me all those nights For all the smiles and happiness I wish only good things As you travel through your life There is another story for us But separately this time
  8. I wrote this on my trip up to Quebec, about the trip. See my previous post for details.. So this was the fountain where we were to meet, At this figure, towering toward the sky, water bellowing from every corner Surrounded by people, trees and ancient towers. My socks are wet. Water is overflowing as I swish my hands. But clarity and cleanness is never that simple, and the darkened fabric only grows wider and colder. Maybe your hands once felt these waters, too. It's a long shot, I know, but I can't think of what else to do, or how else to connect with you. Yet, it will be okay. I will pull through, and knowing this I turn, Letting myself air dry. It's an uphill journey from here, but know I will reach the top, and then I will know what to do. Everyone walks by, holding hands, Smiling, taking pictures. Their words are so beautiful in a language I don't understand, the river is so wide, the mountains vast in the distance. Nothing could make it hurt more, but this is where I must be, for with everything comes a lesson, and I understand I am learning even now. So, you've never seen the ocean? Well, I found this on the beach. I kiss the sea shell, and bury next to the flower bed. I mark it with a stick and hope you will one day find it, straight from my land to yours. From my heart to yours.
  9. need advice please, ok i'm leaving next weekend to go and see my ex bf. we haven't talked since the end of june. i called him a few times he never answered any of my phone calls. i have some things left in his apartment that i can't replace things that my grandma made for me and stuff like that. so far i haven't told him that i'll be coming down to his place to get my things. i'm afraid if i tell him that he won't be there and it's costing me quite a bit to make the trip. anyways i'm afraid of how he might react when i get there. i don't even know if he will let me in. and i keep thinking that another girl will be with him. i also do want to talk to him about everything that has happened is this a bad idea? it may be better to talk face to face than over the phone. what happened is not something to talk over the phone about.
  10. So at the end of this week I'm going on a 3 week vacation. I've planned it for months I'm both excited and nervous. I'm going on my own which is something I never would have previously dreamed of. I'm getting a little worried that being on my own far from home will make me pine for my ex and I dont want to ruin it for myself, I want this trip to be break from all the worrying and sadness. I'm just wondering if many enotaloners have been in a similar position and how things went, I'm probably just worrying over nothing y'know Thanks.
  11. I'm going to try not to make this too long, not looking for advice, as there isn't a whole lot that can be done, just empathy, understanding... Last August I ended my first long term relationship (3 yrs) the guy started out well enough, but as time went on, he began to show his real side, and that he was a really troubled, conniving person. He abused drugs and alcohol and stole from me and others, and he was also a pathological liar. Today is just one more piece in the puzzle. I just moved into a place of my own for the first time (previously had been living with room-mates) I called the local phone co. to have a line set up, and was informed that I was owing just shy of $200.00 (kind of a lot of money for me, especially as I am trying to buy a computer before starting college in Jan) I was completely confused, and then remembered that he had told me that since I took care of the last cable bills (this was before moving to a new apt.) he would take care of the last phone bills. Of course he didn't. it's just one more lie that I uncovered from him. My credit is so bad because of this guy, because I trusted him to pay the bills he was supposed to (they were all under my name) If I ever suspected anything, he would give me this huge guilt trip, threaten to leave, etc...So anyways, now I'm just left feeling a bit despondent, and wondering if I am ever going to truly be able to start with a clean slate (financially and emotionally) I wanted to be able to get a computer, and some things for my new place, but now I have to wait, yet again, and deal with yet another collection agency
  12. I ended things with my GF of 8 months last night. I really do love her, but don't see a future for us. She will not accept it, and has been calling me non-stop. It has now reached the point where the calls are becoming verbally abusive. Do I stop taking her calls? I really am hopeful that we can become friends at some point, but it is looking unlikely if this keeps up. I am leaving for a 1 wk business trip tomorrow which should help.
  13. I am a good person, i help others, i care, i try my best every day, but sometimes things move against me in a way i cant explain. I recently went on a round the world trip to find myself and get a new direction, but i have been through so much pain recently especially the last year. I have had so much happen, but in a nutshell, i have not been successful in relationships, so i have been accused of being gay, and even had gay people make moves on me, which is very upsetting and hurtful. Also i live in a terrible area full of weirdos and druggies, i even had belongings taken from me, but i have no money to move away at the moment. I aslo feel a bit used and trapped, my friends are moving away, and i really got strength from them, and now i feel exposed all the time. I cant concentrate at the moment, and i need to get a good career, and a good life together before this situation really damages me. What should i do?
  14. I met someone a year ago on an online chat and game. We hit it off from the beginning and since then have been best friends. Well last Nov we finally admitted that we both felt something for eachother, and have made it somewhat official that we are a couple (sounds weird). He and I have never met, but we talk everyday as I'm driving to / from work, during lunch / breaks and at nights when i finally settle into my chair to relax. I spend every spare moment I have to be with him online. He has tried over and over to be here, but it seems like it's getting to be one excuse after another. 1) He was going to come in February, but his sister needed him. 2) He then tried for March but his sister got pregnant. 3) He then tried in April, but he couldn't get a credit card to get out here (mind you he owns his own business) 4) He was then going to come on July 9th, but his best friend wanted to come too so he was going to wait until his friend was done with his business trip. 5) He then was supposed to be here on July 29th, but a friend cancelled his reservations as they were going to come together and his friend had a family emergency and wanted him to wait as he didn't want to travel alone (note to self then why is he doing business traveling) 6) Soon after that he was to arrive on August 14th and the travel agent scammed him out of his money which he is working currently to resolve it with the owner of this agency. Catch to this, was that he put it all on neutral and sat back hoping the flight would just pop up. (he won't let me come to him as I'm caring for my mom who has heart issues) Well recently he got off his butt as I told him that I couldn't handle this "it will happen ... but I don't know when ... " and that by the 24th of September, I will leave him if he's not here (yes I'm selfish and wrong here). So ... this brings me up to date, well somewhat ... well within the last few weeks we have argued almost everyday, and yes most of it is me being selfish, demanding that he do something to get here so we can REALLY start our lives together, as he wants it as much as I do. Well has anyone been so in love with someone they have never met and how do you handle the loneliness, the want for just someone to hold you when you've had bad days, and just the feeling of speaking to someone rather than holding a phone or headset on your ear? Any advice to handling this as we've been witheachother everyday for over a year. Thank you in advance.
  15. First, I'd just like to say how great these forums are. People have so many questions regarding relationships, and while advice from friends and professionals are great, sometimes neutral perspectives from everyday people who have experienced similar situations is the most profound sense of reasoning anyone could ask for. With that being said, I'd just like some peer input on the situation I am currently going through. My girlfriend and I of 3.5yrs recently broke up. She called it off while I was on a trip visiting my family. At the time, I can't say that I was surprised nor deeply grieved by it. The causes are typical and what most people on here post about. I did neglect her heavily throughout the latter portion of our time together because I was selfish. I wanted to do other things with my time. It was never because I didn't love her, nor did I ever have feelings for someone else. I loved her and did infact want to marry her someday. She was a great girl, and while nowhere near perfect, she was someone I did cherish very much. I took her for granted, as most people tend to do. After awhile, I guess I become numb and eventually irritated by her understandable need for some sort of attention from me. In any case, upon returning from my trip I learned that she was 'hanging out' with another guy. Actually, I should clarify. She told me she was 'hanging out' with another guy while I was on my trip....even at that, it didn't really phase me. We did live together in my condo, and though we were broken up (about 2 weeks), she was still there waiting for me when I returned home from the airport. I did notice her on the phone more. I was curious as to see what she was up too, so I checked her cell phone. Normally I am not a jealous person at all, infact during our relationship I encouraged her to go out more with her friends...even offering to drop her off to meet them. One of the text messages indicated that they had 'cuddled' together, and for whatever reason only known to God himself, it drove me nuts, lol. Maybe it was my intention to try and work things out with her when I returned, but I assumed that I had more time. That message indicated that perhaps I needed to speed things up or I may acutally lose her. Now, a note to anyone who got this far in my thread. I am well aware of the mistakes that I had made as well as some of the rational faults in my thinking. So, we talked about what would happen next. I asked her if she liked this guy, and why. Her response was that 'yes, she liked him and it was because he gave her the attention I stopped giving her. He made her smile like I used too in the beginning'. I acknowledged my faults and wanted to show her that I could change, and be the person I was in the beginning. I wanted to do this not only for her, but myself as well. Things have always come easy to me, but this made me realize that love is anything but easy. It truly is about sacrifice and how much of it one is willing to give for another. Naturally, she was apprehensive to the idea. Her reason being that she wasn't sure if she believed I could change, as well as she didn't want to open herself up for the pain of that disappointment. As a man, I of course assumed that it was because of the other guy. My thinking was that, how could a second chance hurt? She is already expecting failure, so allowing me the opportunity wouldn't matter. Should I fail, then from the get go, she has already prepared herself for that outcome. She wanted/wants to take things day by day. I ask her if she is willing to give me a chance to show her that I have learned from my mistakes, and her response is always 'i don't know what to do'. I try to find out her feelings towards the other guy, and she is reluctant to talk about him. I know while I was away, she and him hung out together a few times and they text message each other. And while my whole story sounds like every other post on this forum, the one difference that I have noticed (only from what i've read thus far), is that when I returned, she has since spent basically all of her time with me...at her own request. She is the one to call me and make plans...sometimes for multiple days in advance. She has asked me to sleep at her house almost everyday since I've been back. What bothers me (and maybe I am asking to much or reading to deeply into it) is that she still is constantly text messaging....her friends and him as well. I guess I am under the assumption that she is confused on who she wants to be with...yes I know she is with me, by HER choice, but I can't shake that feeling. Not unfounded or am I a nut job? We got into a mini tiff about it last night, and she kind of snapped saying 'I havent seen him since you got back and he hardly texts me anymore because of YOU". Keep in my mind that this girl loved me unconditionally. She would talk about marriage and kids, and how adorable they would be. She mapped out our future together and would often tell me that there was nothing in the world she wanted more than to be my wife and the mother of my kids. I basically brushed it off and told her we arent ready. To sum up this entire post with what exactly it is that Im seeking advice for: One, should I be concerned about this other guy. It affects how I am with her, and makes it difficult to just be me. Two, as obviously I have made my own bed here, is it my place to expect what I do from her? A second chance? Reassurance that this guy is not a barrier in the path to our possible reconcilation? Three, am I blinded by my resolve to get her back that I am possibely the designated 'fall back' option. Thank you in advance for any insight or advice offered. I would GREATLY appreciate nothing but brutal honesty. I do love this girl, and yes it took something drastic for me to realize it.
  16. After communicating daily w/a guy online for two weeks, we finally made plans to get together this weekend for dinner. He took me to a nice restaurant and picked up the tab. The conversation flowed nicely and the date lasted more than 2.5 hours. I thanked him and told him that I had a nice time and he said, "Let's talk after I get back from vacation?" - he's leaving on Thursday for a four-day trip. The next afternoon, I sent him a quick, two line e-mail that said "Thanks for dinner - hope you have a great trip." He never responded...yet in our communication the previous two weeks he has responded w/in two hours of each e-mail and has been able to e-mail at various times throughout the day. Granted, I didn't ask him a question, but I figure that if he was interested in another date, he would have responded with a, "me too, call you when I get back." Do you think he's not interested in a second date? I may be overly sensitive but I just got the disappearing act this summer from my boyfriend of 6 months.
  17. Illusion pond appearing still no ripples mar the surface yet fish move beneath Perspective crying to the moon wolf grieves for his missing pack tiger walks quiet Strategy rose does not travel smiling always at the sun bee will enter soon Misfortune spider is weaving perfect balance, perfect silk dragonfly tears holes Deviation fish takes dragonfly spider catches wayward bee wolf and tiger meet Enlightenment distant hillsides burn golden glow by dark of night haze and smoke by day Renewal the fallen droplet scattered on unyielding rock finds the sky again
  18. ok my ex says she wants to be friends with me, that she at least wants that out of me....shes the one that broke up with me mind u... so anyways keeping it nice and short, my friends have told me shes just doing this to ease her guilt towards me, n if i want any sorta healthy friendship in the future or possibility of a future realationship again that i should cut her out n give it time to make her realise.... now ladies out there on enotalone tell me have u done this to a guy with not really having intentions of being friends? was it to ease pain of the dumpee? an to ease your guilt trip?
  19. I am almost 20 weeks pregnant with a baby boy. The baby's dad already has a 7 year old daughter. I am due February 11th, and her birthday is March 23. Apparently she is having trouble coping with the fact she will no longer be the only child. My ex (the baby's dad) told me last night that she is worried that she's going to be put on the back burner. He has partial custody of her, which is about 3 nights a week, then she goes back to her mother's house. She has always been the center of attention with everyone...an only child, the only grand child. Now she's getting jealous of everyone talking about the long-awaited "boy" of the family, and my ex wants to make her feel comfortable and wanted and all of those things. He promised to take her on a trip for her birthday, before mentioning anything to me about it. He told me I could come if I wanted to... I told him we'd talk about it later and dropped the subject because I didn't know what to say at this point. But here are my concerns: 1. I plan on breastfeeding and there is no way I can be away from my baby when he's only a month old, that is ridiculous to me...but I'm not taking him on this trip either because it is way too soon. 2. I won't be healed enough to care for a baby by myself by that time. 3. She is going to be 8 and will have to learn that he's not just her dad anymore, she won't be as spoiled. 4. He talks about being a "team," but that includes the hard times, like this is! I also think it is going to separate the "family" unit that he wants to try to provide. I would think that he should show her that we need her in this family, good times and bad, and not separate any of us. Sometimes it seems to me that they think of it as different "teams"...he's either on my team and she feels left out, or he tries to over compensate and make her feel like he's on her "team," but that leaves me out. I don't get it and I think this should be stopped...we are all in this together, right? His daughter and I get along very well and I understand she needs her dad and I don't impose and encourage alone time between them. I don't know what to say to him about this yet, and it also seemed to open up a can of worms with me. This is new territory for him and I think he's going to handle it badly, but I don't know what the right way is. Can anyone give me insight as to what to do in this future situation? It's going to be a mixed family, but as far as I'm concerned, she's going to have to get used to not being the only child and that's that. It seems he's going to overcompensate and give her more than he should to make up for it (in my opinion she's going to figure it out and use this for her own good as kids do). Nobody I know has been in anything close to this situation, PLEASE HELP!!
  20. I am lonely but not alone unkempt, my hair short but long clean but messy my room is a disaster papers are scattered but i don't care I slide the clutter on my bed to make room to sleep I sleep on one side of a two sided bed live one side of a two sided life I close the curtains to shut out the sun I turn on fans because I'm too hot I put more blankets on because I'm too cold People worry because they don't see me but then ignore me when they do. I get phone calls when people want something and voice mail's when I call My mind it tends to wander to the places it shouldn't roam the loneliest place I have found is where I dwell the most So I packed my bags to travel except there were no bags to see because how can I run from something when it lives inside of me..
  21. Walk with me into the ocean come vanish with me into the endless everything stroll around the sky and its fiery ring let us roam the stars because we know we can visions and thoughts slither accross the nights dye screams and whispers travel they travel forever when will all this magid end? never deja vu filters through my passion's eye fields of fuzz run for days and days worlds wither ad die but revive again survival under heavens blistering rays thrill ride through life's vein we will conquer everything in many ways only we will feel the bliss the bliss of our infinite beautiful reign
  22. It's become apparent that I'm transmitting on an otherwise unused wavelength. More acrid and yet more saccharine by the day is the smoldering echo on thwarted tongue from an intensely conflagrant moment when it was never to be so. Stukas cast their wicked shadows on the hills of Anaheim now; little remains but little remains. Hush, sacred-facial lamb; look away from Disneyland. As I was going to St. Ives, All cranes and camels lost their lives; The cranes were cursed to bear no chicks; The camels, one too many sticks. An angered bee alit and pierced, Yet naught was felt but sorrow fierce; For stings, though on our skin may score, Wreak injury to givers more. So, as you travel here to there, Take time to loft a silent prayer For empty nests and fields and hives You see from the roads near St. Ives.
  23. I OFTEN WONDER So lately I’ve been thinking of the infinite notions of life, Of countless thoughts to ponder, words to speak, and deeds to do, I hope you will allow me to reflect on these thoughts aloud, Perhaps you may relate and also consider them true. I often wonder why we go to war, Is it because we are striving for something we cannot achieve? Yet even after all the lessons that have been learnt in time, Through the hearts of our brothers and sisters we continue to grieve. I often wonder why love can hurt so much, Romantic raptures entrenched in many a soul, Around the globe we travel, at times a journey of despair, Yet still it remains our lifelong goal. I often wonder about the phenomenon of time and tide, The events of yesteryear now safe in books of history, Are the calming waters of today a sign of the magnitude of tomorrow, Or do they flow shrouded by waves of mystery? I often wonder about the vast glow of nature’s beauty, From the humming birds that take flight into a far away sky, To the golden fish that swim beneath the current of the seas, Each with a unique story to tell as their life’s journey passes by. I often wonder which person inspires me most from day to day, Were they a treasured family member? Or a beautiful long lost friend from far away? Whoever and wherever you are, I know you will always be near, To remain close by my side come what may. I often wonder which path in the forest to travel by, As I quietly stop to ponder where it will lead, It may lure me down a trail unknown, or into beckoning fields of temptation, Yet only I can determine the one true destination that lies on the road ahead. So now I have thought aloud the infinite notions of life, And of the many challenges and choices it has placed before me, I hope that in time, I can somehow learn to understand them all, Keeping the wisdom, hope and courage to pursue whatever shall be.
  24. .... who are you? who do you think you are? i don't know you, i don't know you at all. i don't know what your voice sounds like, i don't know how you really act, i didn't even know how tall you are. a year though, a year separated by an entire planet, we haven't met. but soon you will return to your home here, and we will both make a trip to meet. i'm terrified, but i can't wait to find out if this could be real. some of the things you talk about make me melt, and you have no idea. i'm not really getting phone calls, i just have to sit there and hold myself from telling you anything. why? because..do you get how insane it is to even feel anything remotely like this about someone i've never even met, or even talked to on the phone? i'm not that naive anymore, and yet i can't shake this. but somehow, i sit here, and look at every single photo you've posted. over and over. all 561 of them..and i want you here with me. so many things about you are so very very attractive to me, things that I can't exactly identify either, but it doesn't matter if you gain weight back or you get acne again..none of that does. i want you in the city with me. i want to show you how someone can feel about you. it both kills me and gives me hope when you talk about how no one there wants to date you. you're so beautiful, and they're all idiots. please don't fall for anyone else until I've had my chance. i feel like you might be who i've been waiting for, i feel like you're someone that i can actually love. snoopy. =) -j....thinking of you
  25. Hello all, I have recently had a "life changing" experience (if you can call it that.) After getting out of a relationship, I suddenly realized that there was so much more I wanted to be doing with my life. I realized things like: I want to be more active, I want to travel, I want to move to the city, etc.. Now granted, there are some things I can do myself. I can certainly go to the gym and get on an elliptical by myself, that is no problem. But when it comes to activities like going on trips, and trying new things like kite surfing, etc, it definitely is better when you have people to share the experience with. This is where my "problem" begins. I love each and every one of my friends unconditionally. They have been there for me day in and day out and I would not trade them for anything. The only problem is....I have some key differences from all of them. Out of all of them, I am the only college grad working in a career. I am also the only one I've found who has this innate urge to travel and try new things constantly. Im not saying that my friends wouldn't like to do these things, they do not have the means (money, time) to do it and some have just been able to do well and be satisfied with the lifestyles they have. Or they have significant others. Because of this, I feel kinda stuck. I know that I will be making a move to the city soon where I will probably be forced to meet new people which will be good, but I am also very apprehensive of it. I am a social person, so talking is not a problem, I just feel that at my age (24) it will be a little more difficult than if I was in college with younger people to "break into" circles. At my current job, I am the youngest (by at least 12 years) in a 20 person startup company so that is difficult as well. Has anyone ever been in this situation? Can someone tell me what would be a good way to go about this and if you have had any success? Thanks in advance for your replies.
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