lizziebee

Hi Rhonda and thank you in advance. I met the man of my dreams on a website. It was not a conventional website as we were both looking for a sex partner. Long story short: We met, had sex, and have been in a wonderful, fun, funny, sexual relationship for 7 months. After reading this thru, I see that of course this looks like we are entirely based on sex. Granted it may have started that way but we have a lot in common, except of course our sexual history. We do everything together. We have been almost inseperable as we live alomst 2 hours away from each other. We have met our families and everyone says how perfect we are together....Here it is. Before he met me he had quite a sexual history, a broken marriage and a relationship that started before the official end of his marriage. He is still great pals with his ex (divorced almost 6 years) she and I have spoken I she is great. It is when he speaks of his ex gf that I find in bad taste. HOrrible name calling, describes things she used to do...mostly pointing to the fact that he could not trust her. In our beginning everything was fine, see one another Friday thru Sun then our own ways the rest of the week. Then his jealousy started to come out. SERIOUS ranting about where I was, who I was going to see, 'lets just end it now so I can hurt now and get it over with' I would wind up in tears unable to focus on what he is saying. And finally pulling myself together when - well it seemed when he was done crushing me. He has asked me to move in with him, then he asks me to "stay" with him. I am terribly confused and bothered by the fact that it is almost like he wants to take me on as someone who "stays" with him, rather than his girlfriend who has moved in with him. We have talked about his rages before and I think it is because of how and where we met, partly anyway, but deep down I have to wonder if he likes women at all, does he respect them or is he just looking to bad mouth them and have them worship him?

Ok what is a key tracker? I found my bf intensely e-boffing serious FLIRTING with some babes(?) from the website we met on....I too grabbed his password but only because he wrote it down. I am practically living here and he goes on this site and gets nude pics, and serious come ons and this is starting to effect my sleep, my day, my normal Lizzie life style...Like depression because if I confront him he will say the same thing: "don't you trust me"? He could easily have cheated on me on a few occasions and I just found out today that this may be probable...Is he a sex maniac? Ego maniac? What? I truly love him but could not forgive if I found out he slept with soemone else....dinner? well, hmmmm. guys help! Where is Cardinal??!?!??!

In love and madness - The Washington Times: Nation/Politics - February 14, 2005

I am so sorry about your loss. I know that crushing feeling of your insides feeling like you cannot move and feeling if you do you may collapse...I was in the room with the vet when he had to put my beloved cocker down (cancer). I was destroyed, and the sounds that came from deep inside of me I did not even recognize...God bless your baby and go to the thread that Belladonna has posted. The Rainbow bridge, I believe is in Utah, Pets Friends...wonderful place and wonderful stories....Take care and God bless both of you.

I don't even know where to start but here goes and please bear with me. My b/f of 7 months has asked me to move in with him-LDR of about 1.45- He initially said that it was because I was there most of the time anyway, I would be able to get a better job with benefits - all stuff that is outside of us/love. When I told him that the only reason I would consider moving in with him is because we love each other he said he does not want to go through life without me. So I started moving my stuff to his place. It is very small and out of the way, perfect for one person as he built it that way, but truth be told he did live there while he was married...ended 6 years ago. Anyway, while he was at work yesterday I had a major panic attack and could not wait to come back home...be in my own place, drink my own coffee with all of my stuff around....and of course the 'Secret Single Behaviour" which includes, for me, smoking in my own home, eating cookies in bed you all know how we are! Anyway, when I am away from him he reverts back to me just moving up there to find a better job! Is this guy (49y/o) nuts? Confused? What am I going to do? It is not too late to back out and for those of you that know me you all know that I love this man, this is the person I have always wanted to be with etc. But now I cannot think straight. I guess I want some wake up calls and of course some a--kicking advice! Thanks

I agree with above poster, Vince Vaughn seems like a 'spoonable" kinda guy and he is not that beefcake type which I hate, along with the muscle beach flex squad...just doesnt do it for me, I want to feel nice warm bod, not a ton of muscle!

Oh Annie I knew I could count on you! Thanks for the validation. I had so much anxiety at work today I could barely function. The only reason for me to move up to the boondocks is to be with him, wake up with him, love him. Our future will not hold marriage vows though because going through it twice myself, once for him, its enough and really don't all relationships come to some kind of end, whether it be a couple like us that just keeps going through changes, or people who live together then move out, or marry and divorce...the list is endless...I am not being down on myself but I have seen and been in so many relationships, friendships etc where they come to an sbrupt halt. Anyway, we talked tonight and I told him outright that the only reason for me to move up there is because I love him, not because the rent here is more. He wants me to move in but there is something in my subconscious telling me to hold off. Annie I do not know what I would do without you or this site. Thank you

Okay, at the risk of offending anyone here that I have not "spoken" to, I really need my usual suspects on this one...you know who you are! My bf and I live about well almost 2 hours from each other, I do all the driving because he has a house with his dogs and I have a little apt with neighbors. Those of you who have been following this saga will know that we have had some bumps in our just over 6 month relationship. Long story short: I spend all of my free time with the bf, I have more than just a toothbrush at his house, we both go through a lot of pain when I leave after being with him, we love each other even with all of our faults etc. He is good to me as I am to him. He has asked me on more than one occasion to move in with him. I have backed off as I love my freedom to do that single private stuff that we don't do in front of boyfriends, like eating a whole tin of cookies in bed, or just having dinner in bed while reading the latest rag and falling asleep, or letting your place to get to that just right mess when you know you must clean it! LOL. He has encouraged me to send resumes in his area and says I can either stay with him until I get a good job or I can get my own place near him since I am there most of the time and my rent plus utilities runs to about 1,700. a month....So the landlord called last night to tell me he forgot to have me sign this years lease, (should have been December) so I passed this info on to the bf and he goes through a myriad of chatter...'Babe, I told you you could move in with me' Next phone call 'Babe I told you you could STAY with me until you get on your feet and then get your own place if you need your privacy etc'..Then the final BLOW: 'Babe, can't you live with your father since your rent is so high until you find a good paying job?' All of these caught me unaware...I know he loves me, always says he wants to "take care" of me...(ladies, not what you think-I take care of myself even when I was married) He means to say that he is a natural born caretaker and somewhat of a control freak...who isn't? Anyway, now after writing all of this I am thinking no way am I moving up there if it might jeopordize our relationship. We are both set in our ways, he is more anal about things than I am. He goes to a hectic job everyday comes home, eats, goes online, then goes to bed. I am more like the gypsy minded person that pays her own bills and lives paycheck to paycheck, goes to work, comes home, eats solitary and watches HBO on Demand, I never have been nor will I ever be dependant on a man or woman for that matter. I love him but I think that moving in with him at this point in time could ruin what we have, the longest we have spent together, at his house was 11 days over the holidays and we were great together...I guess I really just needed some feedback here....

At the risk of being blasted I will tell you that I used to be the queen of the tanning salon, the Arizona sun etc. I love the endorphin rush from the real sun but the salon gives me 10-20 minutes (whatever I feel I need) of private, quiet time as well as quick color in my cheeks! Sometimes it is a pain to go in, strip down, lay down and relax, but once the drone of the machine starts....ahhhhh....And for those of you who talk loudly on their cells while lying in a tanning bed? Annoying idiots.

nm-I feel like I am writing to my bf! He too was worried because I had such an "amazing body" (as I have said before, beauty is in the eyes...) anyway, my bf is not hung like a horse as they say, and to tell you the truth I have been in that situation and was baffled as to what to do with it all...it was with a celeb..I digress. Since you don't even know how much she would like to receive, and I am sure you are quite good in the sack, all you have to do is feel yourself as confident and loving and pleasing (yourself as well) and go for it. It really is true, it aint the meat its the motion.....I would like to go into more detail here but in case the bf does ever come on I don't want him to feel that he ever displeased me in the sack...even though he is the best lover I have ever had. There are also certain positions that are better for men with, um, short comings...and if your girl is flexible then you will have a ball! Pun intended! Let us know!

I understand you hurt eachother in this whole 5 month relationship and never talked about your problems with each other when you were often fighting? Try to remember what the fights were about. I saw on other posts that you had said you found him on Myspace? You had wanted him to post pics of the two of you? Now, aren't you glad you did not! You need to pull yourself away from this emotional pull you have allowed him to have and move on as you have said he has. Sometimes it is easier to believe the bad in people. Maybe he does not want to hurt you and tell you he is involved with someone who is not his ex? Maybe he is involved with his work. Nevertheless, it seems to me that he has successfully NC'd you and it is driving you crazy. Now, you have to pretend (for today/tonight wherever you are LOL) that you are NC'ng him. What if he knows that there is no way he can talk to you because he knows you still love him but he does not want to hurt you by telling you it does not go both ways? Would you rather have him say right out to you that he does not love you...anymore...or worse? Sounds like you guys had a pretty tempremental relationship do you really want to carry that into your new future...without him?! Live it up girl! Go make new friends, find good people and surround yourself with family that loves you! Life is too short. Good luck

I agree completely, never cheated, never will. I am able to put this in perspective by thinking about how devastated I would be if my man ever cheated on me.

I believe we are equipped with feelings that will tell us what is good/bad for us. I myself waited almost a year after my divorce to even contemplate dating. This is mostly because of the usual self-esteem issues and the fact that I had no idea, after 14 years of marriage how to even go about meeting new people in a new town...Since I do not drink, the bar scene was out of the question so I found the online dating world. Initially I signed up just to get back into the swing of things without having to actually make physical contact(!) Then I actually met someone who is wonderful to me and when we are not going through our growing pains of past relationships, we are amazing together in every aspect. So in short, I would say do not attempt dating because you are lonely or you want sex, but because you feel fit and confident enough to do it....we all already have enough on our plates, try and start as clean as possible. Good luck

Blen-the saga continues! We had another "argument" last night. And I would like to say right now, that I am the person that shuts down, he just keeps coming at me like a shark. He basically, from what I know about him lo these 6 months, he blames his distrust on his ex gf who he says cheated on him (she was also LDR) I am a simple person, I work, go on this site, watch Deadwood reruns and talk to him (this a.m. he called 8 times between 4 and 7am) What this is about is that we met on a dating website and he thinks when he can see me on his buddy list that I am on that site or some other. He comes out with such hurtful remarks, I mean these are really from left field! Well last night he started and I was almost expecting it and - I am not proud of this -I hung up on him. Yeah he called right back and was livid I had done so but I told him I cannot take the attacks anymore, either you figure out where the distrust REALLY is or let me go. I think that he thrives on attention from women and that is why he still has single accounts on AFF and Myspace and god knows where else...does it bother me? yeah. Have I told him? uh huh. but he manages to turn everything around to make me almost believe I have a man in my bed! I love this guy, but this is not the path I expected and it has been a long time since having to deal with male jealousy....thanks for all your input everyone!

I enjoy my toys....and don't laugh but I put a rubber on my dildo only because who knows what kind of material it is made of!??! LOL...In conjunction with my vibrator it is the perfect stress reliever.

Bf and I usually speak about 3 to 5 times a day...I email him thoughts when I know he is at work. When he gets on one of his emotional benders though he could easily call me 20 times from sundown til I go down...to sleep. It would be easy to not speak to him for a day or 2, I mean I would miss his musings on things but for the most part....I got things to do and since we live a ways apart I really do enjoy my time alone anyway.

I agree with Jen, that asking your GP who he might suggest would be a good match for you. I have only found one good therapist in my life, it was someone who did not tell me what I wanted hear but someone who helped put things in perspective for me when life just seemed it was coming at me from all different directions at the same exact moment! God I hate it when it does that. LOL. Seriously, don't jump at the first shrink. You are interviewing them as well. Some people need a tough approach, while others like to be soothed. In the end it is always up to you.

I get the depo-provera shot every 3 months and it takes care of endometriosis and the fact that I am over 35 and the gyn does not want me on the pill...it also helps that it prevents you from having a period until of course the doc tells you 1 x a yr that this must be done....don't know if this helps with the hormone thing but to me it is a godsend.

Finding love for me is different than having love find me. For instance, if I have a passion, a love if you will, to learn something new I go for it, jump in both feet. But I have always found that love has found me...when I least expected it.....

It was very important to me to speak to the 3 out of 50 men I met and chatted with online. I too am not a good small talker, but I made sure the men knew this before picking up the phone! When my prince did call, well, I will not go into detail here, but he knew exactly when to cut short and to go long.....After a week or two of regular phone (and some irregular phone chat!) we met and it was lust/like..now love at first sight. Call the one that "gets" you the most.

society likes us to have the "rock" and other women want to know why you don't have one and always need to ask........

$350. bux?! Wow! I would like to know what a guy gets for that kind of dough! Anyway, I guess it would bother me thinking about what exactly DID he get for that kind of dough and I agree with Awwdree, Anne, is this the same feeling you would have it was an ex? Typing this I would think not, because of the money thing...makes me ask why did he have to pay for it?

My bf came with new experiences including a Harley he built himself, all I know its a '58 softtail...oh yeah and its kind of burgandy...He has taken me to various 'runs' and we had a blast! Yeah I have seen the women you speak about but he looks, as we all do, admit it! and we move on. At least your bf isn't telling you this is a business trip! Maybe he does not think you would be interested? Gotta tell ya, I have never been on the back of a bike before, but now, I love it....I get to sit back there and look at the world in a different way and of course obsess about my relationship..among other things! LOL

It sounds to me like you are both mature enough to realize what you two may have...distance is numbers in an LDR if it becomes something else, then you are in trouble. Let us know how this works out for you....

So happy to actually here the happy ending to an online meet story! Thanks for the boost for I too am in a LDR from an online meet. Today is 6 months for us.