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  1. I found this REALLY good article and wanted to share. ---------------------------------- You Are What You Think - The Power of Positive Thoughts Marty Varnadoe Dow, LCSW “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.” Philippians 4:8 Thought has been the subject of many wonderful books. My earliest exposure to the power of thought was through James Allen's book, As a Man Thinketh. In this little book the author reveals how your thoughts create harmony or chaos in every aspect of life. Thoughts affect us in a number of ways. Thoughts are a vital tool in creating the reality we experience. They create our emotional states. They affect our bodies and, thereforeeee, our health. Thoughts influence our responses to life and our relationships. Thoughts determine our choices. Take a moment to write down three thoughts you have had today. Do not make this too complicated. Simply write down three thoughts you have had in the last 24 hours. Any three thoughts will do. Please do this before you read the next section. It will help you to apply those ideas to your life. Record these thoughts in your journal. Categories of Thoughts Thoughts can be divided into three broad categories: what I want, or positive thoughts; what I can do, or action thoughts; what I don't want, or worry thoughts. Most thought is about the future or the past. Very few of us are able to stay centered in the present moment. For the sake of clarity, let us assume I have an upcoming surgery that is occupying most of my thoughts. If I am thinking about how fortunate I am to have an excellent surgeon, I am thinking positive thoughts. If I am thinking about the activities I need to do to prepare for the surgery, I am thinking action thoughts. If I am thinking about what can go wrong in surgery, I am thinking worry thoughts. Worry Thoughts If you were surprised to find most of your thoughts were worry thoughts, you are not alone. Most people are not aware of their thoughts. They go through the day with uncensored mental programming playing in the background of their minds. They experience feelings and reactions that they do not understand. They believe their emotions and thoughts are something that happens to them; something over which they have little or no control. Many people feel it is their duty to worry. They adamantly defend their worry thoughts. They believe that if they do not worry they have not done all they could to prevent something negative from happening. These people resist positive thoughts because they see no value in them. In their mind thoughts cannot affect the outcome of a situation, so why waste time thinking positive. It is almost as if the negative thoughts are preparing them for the worst possible scenario. For most worry thinkers, such mental activity is learned behavior based on faulty information about the power of thoughts. Let us examine some of the premises upon which worry thinking is based. Note which of the statements listed below seem true to you. These may be some of the beliefs out of which your worry thinking has developed. My thoughts are a reflection of who I am. I cannot control them, they simply happen to me. You are not your thoughts. Thoughts are an activity of your mind. You have the right and the responsibility to choose your thoughts. Your thoughts are based on the things you believe about the world. They are a perfect reflection of your core beliefs, not your True Identity. At some point in your life you accepted certain belief systems out of which your thoughts are formed. You can change your beliefs and your thoughts. Many of my thoughts are unconscious; thereforeeee, I can not know what they are. Thoughts are readily available in your mind. You may not easily see them because you do not consciously listen to your thoughts. You allow them to play repetitively in the background of your mind. When you focus your awareness on your thoughts you will be amazed at what you spend your time thinking. My thoughts have no effect on my emotions or the events of my life. Emotion follows thought. If you are thinking positive thoughts you will feel hopeful and uplifted. Worry thoughts create fear and anxiety. Worry thoughts inhibit the flow of energy blocking you from taking action in your life. Positive thoughts stimulate activity, assisting you in transforming your life. Worry thoughts keep you from seeing options, blinding you to possible solutions to your problems. Positive thought relaxes your thinking processes allowing you to see new ideas and recognize opportunities. The fear and anxiety caused by worry thoughts will flow into your personal relationships, creating discord and conflict. The joy caused by positive thinking will improve every aspect of your life. Positive thought enhances the body's immune system, while worry thoughts inhibit the body's natural healing response. If I do not worry, I have not done all I can to prevent disaster from happening in my life. As I mentioned earlier, worry thoughts inhibit action. Action thoughts are fundamental to preventing disaster. When you have taken all the action there is to do, thinking positive thoughts is the most productive action you can take. There is no positive benefit to worrying. If I spend all my time thinking positive thoughts and disaster comes anyway, I would have wasted my time. I believe faith and positive thought create positive events in your life; but, even if that were not true, thinking positive thoughts has tremendous benefits for you. Positive thoughts create healing, produce enjoyable emotions, and reduce the stress in your life. Positive thought stimulates you to look for solutions to your situation and increases the energy you have to take action. Positive thought makes the journey worthwhile no matter what the outcome. Someone once asked Patricia Sun, a spiritual teacher, what would happen when she died and found out she was wrong about the philosophy of joy she was teaching. Patricia laughed and said, “You mean what would I do if I discovered I had been having all this fun for nothing?” I am sure you can see the absurdity of the question! If I don't worry, I won't be prepared for the worst possible scenario. If the worst possible scenario does happen, you will have plenty of time to be upset when it arrives. Spending months in anxiety does not prepare you for anything. You can not pre-experience emotions caused by a disaster. Worrying ahead of time will simply weaken you, limiting your natural ability to cope with crisis or loss. Thoughts As A Tool of Creation If you want to learn to soar above every situation in your life, you must learn to use your thoughts to create the reality of your choice. Earlier we discussed the way thought affects our emotions, responses, and our ability to see options and take actions. Thoughts, combined with emotion, create specific outcomes in your life. You can use thoughts to create the events in your life and not simply to affect how you respond to events life brings to you. Thoughts combined with emotion are fundamental to creation. When people first learn about the power of thought, they fear every passing thought. It is not random thoughts which create your reality; it is those thoughts you predominately have which produce such a powerful effect in your life. Creating reality with thought is similar to the process of hypnosis. You must focus all of your attention on the thoughts of what you want to create. Combined with an intense feeling, your thought goes forth to produce what you desire.
  2. I don't even know if it exists but I would imagine it does somewhere! I tried searching for it but I can't find it...if anyone knows any sites where I can ask someone in the medical field I woudl greatly appretiate it! Incase anyone here knows....I am looking for a tube or something that could be inserted into the uretheral opening (female) to direct urine away from a certain area. (recently had surgery). ANYTHING would help! In much pain even with pain killers!!
  3. I need to know ... Has anyone ever had a fibroid removed from inside their uterus? Has anyone been pregnant while in the process of preparing before such surgery as removal of fibroids? Has anyone had their uterus removed and what happened afterwards once the procedure was done?
  4. Hi guys Warning: This is a Rant and I'm just writing down everything without actually processing what I'm writing. So here goes: I am very very miserable right now in my life. I am currently a college student and life seems downhill and I seem to be waiting for my life to end. Why? I don't know. But Here are a few things that frustrate me and have been frustrating me: 1. My boyfriend dumped me in June 2006 and I still think of him even though I immediately started no contact when he dumped me and he was a jerk and a cheater but I already mentioned that in a past post. 2. Any guy that shows interest in me seems to lose interest as soon as they start to attempt to get to know me. It must be because of my shyness and their lack of patience in actually taking the time to wait until the other person feels comfortable enough to open up. Oh well...too bad for me. 3. I am a broke joke. I have no money to do certain things. One of the things that I have been waiting to do is get my chemical peel on my face (as recommended by dermatologist) because I suffer from hyperpigmentation and I get acne scars from all of my acne...so you could imagine all the dark spots on my disgusting face. My parents don't help either because they're always criticizing me for it but as stated by my dermatologist, my acne is genetic....so that frustrates me even further. Well, the insurance doesn't cover the chemical peel so I have to wait until I or my parents have money...(I'm planning on using my income tax to do this) So yes...finally...but I'm honestly tired of waiting. Because of my acne problem, I tend to look down a lot because I guess I'm mentally trying to hide my face (even though it doesn't really work). I also have acne on my back and acne scars and I can't wear spaghetti straps or any clothes that is revealing because it would be disgusting to even see my acne. 4. I am also waiting to have a reduction mammaplasty. I just finished my physical therapy sessions and now my physical therapist has sent me to get an Xray and an MRI done so I am taking all of the steps needed to have the insurance approve my surgery. The reason why I am having my surgery is because I actually do have back pains because of the size of my breasts so it causes me to hunch over. I am also not comfortable by the physical appearance of my chest so I try to hide it by wearing loose fitting clothing. So here I am waiting. Waiting to have my miserable surgery. 5. I have gained weight..not too much...just about 15 pounds a while ago but I am a petite girl so it is quite obvious. I started going to the gym this semester but after a stressful situation with my previous roommates and my appointments with the physical therapist, I have stopped going. Now that I'm done, I haven't been able to force myself to go back to the gym...and I actually did start feeling really good when I was going. I guess the reason why I haven't been back is because I know that since I haven't been there in such a long time, it will be harder and I won't be able to workout as easily and as long as I used to. 6. I have slight orthodontal relapse that bothers me and that I see as temporary ( A small gap in between my two front teeth). I had braces when I was younger but due to my tongue thrusting, this gap formed. I went back to my orthodontist and he gave me a video that would correct my tongue thrusting and I haven't been doing the exercises. It is supposed to work in 3 months. I am a lazy, pathetic person. 7. I can't wear revealing bathing suits (if I ever did decide to go to the beach) because I have stretch marks. Yes..I have stretch marks and it's genetic and its simply that the dermis is stretched and if the elasticity (caused by collagenous and elastic fibers in the skin) is not sufficient then you will end up with these nasty scars. I got mine during puberty. Lucky me. So it's not like it's disgusting to have stretch marks...they're simply scars. That's it. Well, I guess that's it. That's the temporary end of my rant. I've revealed everything but who cares. Like I said before, I've grown tired of life and I really feel like I should just sit here and wait for it to be over. I'm miserable and I feel hopeless. Thanks for listening.
  5. If you've had it are you happy with the results? Was it worth it? I have contacts and hate them, I really want to get it done, even though it's really expensive.
  6. Hello everyone I am a new member to enotalone.com I will keep my name a secret and just tell you that I am 18 years old and am in college. I have been feeling a lot of anxiety and am very stressed at the moment and can't get this out of my head. Please would all of you so kindly take some time out of your day and read this. I know it is long but I really need some feedback. please read it and tell me what you think. I have been feeling very upset and frustrated lately. It is about my girlfriend. She is very self counsious and has a very low self esteem. We have been dating for about 4 1/2 months now. She feels that she is unattractive and constantly judges her looks based on how other girls look. The thing that frustrates me the most is that she is so pretty. A lot of people, including me and her friends tell her that she is pretty enough to be a model, but she doesn't believe anyone. On her myspace she even got a friend request from a photographer who takes pictures of models! It has been causing major problems lately such as argueing and awkward and silent times when we are in the car or on the phone and things like that. The main reason why I think she is so self counsious about herself is because of her ex boyfriend whom she dated for about 2 years. He treated her so badly and told her all the time that she should look like other girls. I don't know why he would say such things to her. He was constantly depressed and was a drug user/alchoholic. They broke up and got back together countless times. He cheated on her more times than she can even keep track of. He did not deserve her because she is the nicest girl ever. And despite the way he treated her, he ended up dumping her!!! I know this is true because a lot of her friends have told me the same story. We love each other and we trust each other a lot as well. I think it is good that she got away from him because she put way too much effort into him, despite how he treated her. So basically, my girlfriend and I are the complete opposite. Here and there we have had talks about her being self counsious, and I thought that was the end of it. Recently she has been very effected by what others say and I don't know why. The past few days, we have talked about it a lot and she says wants plastic surgery when she gets out of college. I told her as long as she is doing it for herself then I won't be mad at her or feel any different about her as a person. She and I have the same people as friends, so I talked to them. They have noticed this too and mentioned to me that she should see a guidance counselor at her school. They made some very interesting points and I agreed completely. So last night in the car I nicely mentioned to her that this has gone too far and no matter what I and her friends tell her, it doesn't do anything because she doesn't believe what we say is true. I just got off the phone with her about 2 hours ago and I asked her if she saw the guidance counselor or if she made plans to go see them. She got a little heated and told me "It doesn't matter, I'll do what I want because if i feel better about myself after surgery, then so will everyone else!" Then she told me, "You and our friends tell me that I should get surgery if it's for myself but at the same time your telling me to go to the guidance counselor for your guys' sake and not my own." I told her that we want her to want herself to get help and raise her self esteem/self counciousness. Other than that things have been going great for her and I. It's just that lately this is causing a lot of problems between us. I just wish she would either get help, believe her friends and family when they tell her she really is beautiful, or make plans to get her plastic surgery when she gets out of school and make sure she is doing it for herself and no one else. Please let me know what you guys think, PLEASE?
  7. I've tried doing a search online, but can't find anything, so I'm sorry if this is not appropriate for enotalone. If no one has any advice or anything, can you point me in the direction of a health-related website or message board? I got my wisdom teeth out this morning. All was good until the novacaine wore off!! I actually thought i'd be able to go to work tomorrow, ha, was i fooled! I'm not concerned about my recovery, I'm just not sure what is "normal" or if I should call the doctor (It's almost 10:30pm where I am, and I don't know if my surgeon's office has an ansewring service) Here's what's going on: I got out of surgery at about 11am this morning. After I take my acetaminophen/codeine pills I start to feel better, but then I got a hot flash and got really nauseous, so I laid down (on my side!!). I hadn't eaten anything so I was sure I wouldn't throw up. Later around 7-7:30 I took some more pain meds and tried to eat something b/c i thought maybe it was my empty stomach that made me feel nauseous...Nope, I ate and about 10-15 min later I got the worst hot flash and had to lay down (i was scared i'd throw up, and that's deff doesn't sound like a good idea with my jaw hurting as bad as it does!) That's really my main problem, except that I'm still bleeding. Not a lot, it finally started to slow down, but I still am, and it's annoying more than anything. Please let me know if you have any advice. Thanks.
  8. I am trying to decide on whether or not to get a tummy tuck. Anyone here ever have one or personally know someone who has? I'm a pretty tiny boned gal and when I was in my abusive marriage I put on a lot of weight and have lost most of it and now I am left with this gross wrinkly pouch of skin. It just seems so gross to me. I have this scar that runs along from almost hip bone to hip bone above my pubic bone and I am thinking that is why that part of my stomach never bounced back. It also seems like when I gain even just a few pounds that is where it goes and I looked bloated or something. I think there is a substantial recovery time. I remember when I had that surgery there(medically necessary) I was quite sore for weeks. I am also pretty sure without the pouch I'd wear about 2 sizes smaller in pants as my hips are slim but that fat gut thing makes me wear a larger size. gross. I'll never have any more kids so that isn't a factor either. So what do you think? I have the money and good insurance.
  9. my mom is in her late forties and having hip replacement surgery. to get ready the doctor told her to take iron supplements for 3 weeks prior to the surgery date. he told her to take five 65mg pills three times a day. thats FIFTEEN iron pills a day. at 65mg each, that is 975mg of iron per day. this sounded like a lot so i researched it and i saw you could overdose on iron. and the recommended daily value was something like 40mg on the high side... my question is, does anyone know if 975mg a day of iron is okay in this situation? or is it way too much for any situation? she is not anemic and we asked the doctor to verify this amount and he said it is correct but it still sounds crazy. i just want to find someone that might know someone who has had to take this much and have it be ok. sorry im rambling... im worried... THANKS IN ADVANCE EVERYONE!
  10. i'm feeling so down right now. my bf emigrated a year ago and i've always been unhappy about bits of my body but could hide and forget about them better in england. i know i'm not fat i'm 5ft 10 and 58kg so if i try and talk to anyone it's just weird. i imagine they think i'm looking for a compliment but that is definitely not the case. i've had sexual problems in a relationship which i think increased my obsessive study of my bad bits. i left england 2 months after my partner and so took the opportunity whilst alone to have surgery on my private parts to make them clean and look, what in my mind is normal. i didn't tell anyone and it was a really humiliating embaressing thing. i still have so many problems now and i wondered if anyone else felt like this; i run everyday and weight train but i feel like my thighs are just wobbly bits of fat on the insides of my legs. they suddenly just baloon to 1.5 inches fatter than the lower bit of the top of my legs. it's getting to the time of year to start going to the beach and i cant face putting a bikini on and walking to the sea especially when there are gorgeous girls on the beach. my arms are big at the tops. i have freckles on my arms, my bum is flat and just hangs there it's just disgusting. i just want to feel good about myself again but i dont have any money of my own to go about getting surgery and my bf just thinks i'm a moaning idiot. i cant stand the idea of getting old and never having enjoyed or liked my body. i just dont feel like a girl, when i look in the mirror i just see a mess. any ideas on how to get rid of these awful things.
  11. All right this is long but please read the entire thing i need HELP...I've been "dating" this girl named Cassie for almost 6 months...we had known each other for 3 years before this and were more like best friends and one day we admitted how we felt about each other. The problem is there is this other guy named Daniel who she also had feelings for and that prevented us from officially going out. So she barley ever hangs with Daniel, they've been out together a few times but she barley hangs out with him and in all honesty Dan is actually one of my really good friends and me and him might as well be brothers...we both like the same stuff and basically look the same we might as well be the same guy. All right so as you can guess she is confused but when i tell you what I've done and how much she and I have done together in the past 6 months and compare it to Dan this is where i don't get whats so hard about her decision....I've met her entire family...they all love me and i love them...and vice versa about her and my family...I've been on a family vacation with them to Washington D.C. and led them around the city cause i know it really well...I got her a beautiful necklace for her b-day...she had surgery on her legs and i came back from my family vacation a day early so i could go with her family to UVA where she had to get her surgery...then not counting the two weeks before that where i was with her almost every day....i was beside her while she had to stay in the houes almost constantly for two weeks...i was there every single day helping out...cooking dinners to help her mom out....even redrilled holes in her crutches to fit her exact height and just generally spent time with her. I've told her that i love her and she was constantly saying "I love you so much" and "I wish you were here with me" when i was on the phone with her...we've even done some physical things (not intercourse but some other stuff)....we've been kissing for 4 months....now all of a sudden Dan took her out a couple of times and he told her he liked her...then her mom found out and scolded her and made her feel bad because apparently she likes both of us still...and finally i can even see her having trouble saying "I love you" and she doesn't jump at the chance to kiss me as much as she did. I still spend a lot of time with her...but idk what to do anymore...i'm so frustrated but i can't let her go cause she's the only girl i care about and she knows that...but she just can't make a decision between me and Dan even though she says she likes me more....i'm like losing sleep over this stuff and its killing me...so please please give me some advice i need it so badly
  12. Update after the date I was posting about last night in my other thread.. Whew !,,,, Well I made it through the date last night with out being a big bundle of nerves. He was about 15 minutes late, so I started to feel uneasy for a bit. He had forgotten to tell me he had to stop for gas before he headed over. We met at the little restaurant that I had mentioned before. We had a delicious dinner and chatted for quite a while. After the dinner we went over to this casino/bingo/ dog racing establishment and stayed there for about 3 hours playing a few slots,listened to some music and sat in the lounge area and had an after dinner drink. He seemed pretty outgoing , and talkative and we do have a few common interests. He was complimenting me on my hair, because he said he loves long hair on a woman. But he was not being overly flirty or anything. He didn't put any " moves" on me at the end of the evening. Which I was glad I didn't have to deal with that on a first date. But here is the part where I have a little bit of concern. The conversation flowed, as in there were not any awkward quiet moments. However, much of his conversation was about HIM and his late wife. He never really asked that much about me, or my life, kids, family. I heard all about his personal ailments, surgeries, heart attacks, etc. Then I heard a three month scenario of how his wife died. I would try to lead the conversation in a different direction, but each time that I would tell something about myself and my life, and sort of leave the door open for him to ask questions, he would go right back to the conversation about his ailments and his late wife. I was a bit put off by that. I know that I am probably not going to find a guy that is in my age range that absolutely has no health issues ofsome sort. BUT,,,,, gosh , this scared me when he said he had already had two angioplasties, with stent placement and two heart attacks, foot surgery, knee surgery and back surgery. He is 51 years old. Now , he is also a bit " rough around the edges". It is kind of hard to describe what I mean by rough round the edges. Ok , let me put it this way.... he is very very very " country " acting in his ways. As in kind of over the line from country to actually being a " redneck" as we call them in the south. His dining manners while we were having dinner were not that great. You know , talking with food in his mouth, kind of smacking when he talked and ate at the same time. I also kind of like it when a guy is kind enough to open and hold a door for me, but he would open a door and go out first ahead of me. It was like it never dawned on him to hold the door for me. The date has its plus side, in the fact that I got out of the house and actually went some where and had a nice diiner, went to the casino, music, drinks, but on the other hand I am just not sure I am comfortable seeing him again. At times he as pleasant enough, friendly, etc, but there were moments where I just felt out of place with him. He is already wanting to get together Saturday night. No plan was made. I told him we will talk later about it. Don't know how to handle that part just yet as I am not so sure I truly want to see him again. I am having quite a few reservations about letting it go any further with him. It is not my intention to sound as though I am being too picky about things. It is not that I think I am better than he is, but I just feel we have a different style, is the best way I can put it. But what do you all think? Am I too picky, am I too worried about health issues with a potential BF ? Am I expecting too much ?
  13. Ok so im really nervous now im going to have gastric banding surgery im 20 years old n weigh 18 stones and am 5ft 9 really unhealthy so i tried gym n diets but now surgery is the last resort iv paid 6500 for it and im scared but im also looking forward to being me again. Anyone else had wieight loss surgery and whats it like emotionally?
  14. Since my girlfriend broke up with me, my self esteem has been going on a roller coaster. Sometimes I feel like I'm ok looking and other times I agree with those who think I'm ugly. There're people that say I'm hot and stuff, but the people that say I'm ugly seem to have a better influence. A 200 people can say I'm hot and 20 people can say I'm butt ugly and I'd agree with those 20. I guess I just hate being right, and those who think I'm ugly I feel are right. When people even so much as comment on my nose, or say I look "Jewish"...it gets to me. I'll post my picture, not so people can say "OMG you're so hot" nor am I looking for attention, just so you know where I'm coming from: image removed My nose is a bit on the odd size and I really don't want to get surgery on it because I do believe in the whole "like me for who I really am" concept. But I can't help but take those who don't like my looks seriously.
  15. Cancer runs rampant on my mother's side of the family. My gynecolologist moniters me closely due to this and the typical discovery of the pre-cancerous cells in my uterus. I had surgery for endomitriosis three years ago. Other than irregular/short periods, I've been great. Now, I'm preparing to leave for London in April so I went for my pap. He thinks there's a new cyst on my left ovary and I have to get an ultrasound done next week. At best it's just a byproduct of the endomitriosis at worst....ovarian cancer.
  16. My girlfriend and I have recently been discussing different options for birth control and have been doing some research on the subject. We both agree that it's not a good idea for her to be on hormones for a long extended period of time and we both don't want children. I was just wondering if anyone here knows or has any first hand experience with the "essure" method. It sounds like it could be an option for us because we have also discussed surgical methods but neither one of us are completely sure at this point if we want to have an invasive procedure performed. If we did, I would probably be the one getting the surgery because it would be medically less complicated. Just wondering if anyone has any first hand knowledge of potential drawbacks or benefits of nonsurgical sterilization for the woman. Thanks! Any feedback is greatly appreciated.
  17. I know that I have posted on here how DH has been good to me but, I must confess that I was stretching the truth a little bit. Heres grits of it all: It all started on 12/29/2006 We had tickets to Vegas to party out there for the new year. My brother also was going with us. DH promised me that he would be on his best behavior b/c he has a habit of getting obnoxious. Since the weather was bad we rented a car and drove through the the 12 hr drive. My DH and brother partied in the back of the luxurey rental car. I was DD. I didnt mind. We made it into Vegas around midnight. The 2 boys wanted to party some more but I was road worn and stayed in. DH came in drunk around 5am. He wanted some action. I was tired, to tired to just say no so I gave in. We went into CA to see my hometown. I drove there and back b/c the boys were partying in the car. DH was so obnoxious to me and my brother. I had to basically tell him off like a child to quiet down. Nothing would shut him up, he just kept on like none of us mattered and he was going "balls to the walls" in partying. We got back to Vegas arounds midnight and the boys wanted to party. Again I was DD so I was tired and stayed in. New Years eve I was ready to have some fun but had some reservations about it due to DH's behavior on the proir days. We went to this club in Ceasar's Palace. DH was being a jerk. I told him that I was going to use the ladies room and would be back. I set my jacket and wallet down right next to me and before I finished drying my hands my wallet,ID, check card and money was stolen!! I ran back to the club and was not allowed in due to no ID. I asked the security to go get DH and I told him what happened. We cancelled the check card immediately and let the cash go. DH had an expired ID of mine in his wallet. During this time DH was being a total jerk to me. I did not want to go back into the club so I asked DH to get my brother and lets get some alcohol and walk the strip until midnight, it was 10pm by then. I told DH I would go back into the bathroom and ask the bathroom attendance if they found my wallet and I would wait outside the club for them. DH went back in. NOW REMEMBER he had the expired ID of me in his wallet. I waited til 1130pm. He never came back out. At 1130 I went to the cab line and the only thing on me was my room key and $10. I got a cab and was in my room by 1145. DH called me around 3am and told me how much fun he was having, I hung up on him. At 6am DH came rolling in and started yelling at me that I took off on him and that I probabley left with some guy. Needless to say I called my brother and chewed him out, he told me that DH said that I didnt want to party so I was back at the room and not to worry. He said he was sorry had he known he would've ditched DH and came and got me. So I drove us back home. On 1/8/2007 I had a surgery. During this time DH had to take some work off and take care of me, his dad (alzheimers) the kids and the house (welcome to my world). He was so mean to me. He was short tempered and would ignore me. I was literally helpless. I needed help to do anything. Yes he would help me but he did it the worst attitude. He made fun of me. During this time it was both SD's b-days(2 days apart) he would drag me out of bed to participate for their Bdays. This happened 3 days after my abdominal surgery. NOt very fun!! About 1week ago was the first time I got out of the house and was in public. We hooked up with my brother for a couple of cocktails. around 11pm I was worn out and went home DH decided to go back out and party some more. I got a call from my brother and he told me that DH had taken some of my prescribed narcotics( i'm talking like morphine based drugs) and was partying with them and so he kicked him out of his house at 3am. Again Dh came home yelling at me. DH is a button pusher. He is an extreme kind of guy. It has never bothered me until he stole from me , verbally abused me and just all around been a jerk to me. Most people we meet will only hang with us once b/c DH extreme behavior. I had hid $300 for me, I used $100 to open my own checking account. The other $200 I bought 2 pairs of fab. shoes. Next week my DR. is going to clear me for work. I have been on leave for about 8 weeks. I cant take his dad anymore, his children dont listen to me and his behavior is off the scale. As soon as I am medically cleared I have a major decision to make. I have to say DH has NEVER been this way before. This was not the man I married. I am at a very difficult cross road. I filed my taxes and I am going to receive about $6000 back, I had them direct deposit it into my new account. So the money is there if I leave. I dont know what to do any more. I dont even see him in the same way I did b/f we went to Vegas. Something inside me changed towards him. Right now I have no feelings towards him except frustration. Its almost like I dont want to be around him. Do I need time to recover from all the hurt or should I just get out b/c this might be a BIG idicator of coming behavior on his part?? I need some good loving advice. Please help me here.
  18. I have a good friend who just got a huge inheritance from a dead family member. She's buying land to build a house, planning a trip to LA, etc, along with starting a trust for her sun. She has struggled all her life with her weight. She does get a decent amount of excercise and she doesn't eat too much. Tonight we were talking and she told me she's decided to get lyposuction. (I hope I spelled that right.) Now, comes the weird part... She doesn't want to do this alone. She wants me to do this with her. She called it "unconventional girl bonding." I have also struggled with my weight a lot. I lost 50 pounds and I am now thinner then I have been in years. But I still have some fat on my stomach and my hips that I can't seem to get rid of. PArt of me thinks its a good idea. Part of me doesn't want to be one of those women who has plastic surgery. I haven't decided if I'll do this or not. I just want to know your thoughts. I know it's a strange question.
  19. I'm generally a very stable and rational kind of guy, or so I'd like to think. I don't suffer from any incontrolable emotions, phases etc. Apart from one... This is my neurosis, and I can't shake it. It's my physical appearance - namely my face. Starting literally since I was in primary school, I have been unable to judge how attractive I am - today, I'll look in the mirror one minute and see a genuinly handsome lookin face, but the next minute, I'll see the most awkward ugly mug on the planet. It even seems to differ hugely depending on the freaking mirror I'm looking at, or the light levels/directions. 90% of a year I'll be cool with my appearance, even confident - and then, I'll plunge into self-pity over it. I'm at the point now where I don't care whether it's psychological or not, I want to do something physical about it for my own sake. The biggest thing I have is with my nose, which I am convinced is just slightly too big and slightly too blocky to not look awkward - combined with my chin which I am convinced is just weak enough to make my nose look even worse. Now, to you guys, if I showed you a pic, I'm betting the majority of you wouldn't notice these things unless you really analysed it. But I really think these subtle things detract from the rest of my face, which I'm totally cool with. I was thinking about spending the rest of my savings for my year out on a minor nose job and perhaps a chin augmentation. That probably sounds rash, but I've literally come to this conclusion every time I've thought about it for the past 4 years. I've already paid for about 5 months of round the world travel. Cosmetic surgery is so insanely expensive it'd take up all the rest of my cash, and even then only with my parents going halves. So, what do you think? If anyone has had nose/chin cosmetic surgery I'd love to hear from you particularly.
  20. I recently broke up with my G-F,, she is the love of my life ( I knew it since the first time I saw her eyes.), We broke up because, she lost her phone!! Yes that’s right,, of course it wasn’t exactly because the phone but, it was the breaking point. The last month together, we only could see each other like 2 hours a week, because I had to work from 3.am to 8 am,, and in the afternoon I slept, she felt lonely, but can’t say nothing because I was working hard for money for my school, then one day, we had a little fight nothing serious, the next day she had laser surgery in her eyes, and I call her every day to her cell phone, she never answer, then I call her home, her mom said to me that she was fine, and that she was sleep at 2 Pm, because I (thought ) I knew her, I knew that she can’t sleep with sun, I assume that day that she didn’t want to talk to me, so next day I call her phone, no answer, I call her home, no answer, I call her phone again, the phone was off, I really thought she was really mad with me and I leave her a message telling her that I was not mad,, that I was really concern about her eyes, that I wanted to see her, and that if she is still mad then I will wait for her to call me when she feel better. one week passed not one call, I felt very down, then a mail from her!!! , The mail said “ If I lost my phone it means I’ll not see you ever?”. Well she lost her phone the day of operation, she was under medicine and she used to sleep during the day, she told me that she spend three days inside her room, in darkens waiting for me, to call her, to visit her. That those three days where eternal that she had never felt like that, and that she don’t ever will let anyone to let her feel like that again. She didn’t understand my point, I try to send letters and things like that, well it just make it worst. I don’t know what to do I already ask her to forgive me, she said she forgive me but don’t want to see me right know, I don’t know what to do!. It doesn't sound that bad,, well it feels like hell.... Somebody help please, I would appreciate any advising. I really want her back... I never told her I love her, even when I felt it.
  21. to calm me down... I broke up with my ex bf because of his weed problems....two weeks later, he called me saying he will have a nose surgery this week...pre-op check up was this monday and surgery will be on Friday...He said he wanted me to go with him since he didn't really have any close friends here...So, I think I don't really have a choice but to go with him... Monday, I lent him the car (his car is not good for long distance driving) but didn't really go....But Friday, I have to go....all these just triggered all my resentments against him..such as his selfish addictive personality,his lies,broken promise...It's always me who have been helping him out, supporting him...and he blames me for leaving him...some times I really hate him...I really don't want to go...I am so mad at myself for not being able to control my emotions...I have a big job interview tomorrow, but I just can't calm my anger to focus on the preparation...I really need some help here...
  22. Hi all, I'm writting because I'm am still rather young, but have noticed that my breasts are starting to sag a little. I have a very petite body (waist size about 24) but rather large breasts (34d) for my body. I was wondering if there are excersizes I can do to firm my breasts. I know that they are not actually muscle themselves, and I really wouldn't mind smaller breasts, so if not an excersize to firm them, are there any I can do to decrease the fat? Really it's just a vanity thing, but I'd like to change them without surgery! Thanks!
  23. I got dumped about 2 weeks ago last sun and I thought that's what I wanted to and didnt fight it. I was very good and held on to my NC and went out everynight distracting myself. Then a week ago sun she called me and basically was pissed at me cause she labelled me a liar and blamed me for the whole relationship falling apart. She asked if we were going to be able to be friends and I told her i don't know and that I would need time. I told her being friends would be difficult for me cause I would sitll have feelings for her and she basically told me she has so many guy friends that way and that I should deal with it or not try and be friends with her. She keeps doing little things trying to getting me to talk to her like away messages online and I really would like to talk to her cause I miss her soo much but I don't want to put myself through more hurt cause as much as I am hurting right now, I don't want to back to being miserable. I had surgery last fri and the night before she called me to wish me goodluck and I missed her call so after listening to her message I texted her saying just the word "thanx" and she immediately got online and messaged me saying "I was hoping I could atleast say that to you directly not your voicemail!" and just signed off. Since then I texted her once on sat thanking her for thinking of me. Since then I just see her online and have been holding myself back from contacting her. I don't really know what to do. On one hand I do want her in my life but I don't think I can handle just being friends and on the other hand I have some hope that we can work things out but am not banking a lot on that. I've been stuck in the house for about 4 straight days now, because of my surgery, and can't watcy tv or anything cause its causing me headaches, I can't really sleep cause I am awake after like 15 mins and can't fall back asleep and I am going to be stuck alone for another week atleast. So all I have is time to think, thinking about me and her and I miss her a lot! If someone has any remedies to how I can distract myself or if I should make the call to clear things up please let me know.
  24. Ok everyone! I've been posting about my break up for a little while. We had a date on Friday. I met him at his house, we went to have dinner, watched a movie back at his house, drank some wine, watched some tv, talked about things we have going on, he made some comments that made me believe he wanted to see me again, said he was bummed that he wouldn't get to see me again until Sept (he's going on a business trip). He was all over me, cuddling, touching, etc. I of course played it cool and didn't initiate any of the contact, but I was receptive to it. He'd get excited about hearing about my school plans and work, etc. and asked me a bunch of questions about what I have planned. We were clicking again. Anyways, I ended up drinking more wine than I should have and before I knew it, it was 3am. We live an hour apart, and I was falling asleep on the couch, so I was in no position to drive! So he said I should just stay over (I didn't plan on doing that). I slept in his bed with him, but left my clothes on! He cuddled and spooned with me pretty much the whole night. In the morning, I woke up to some back of the neck kissing and seduction. I told him that I couldn't do anything since I had just had surgery. He said ok and gave me our "signature" smootchies, which I didn't return (playing it cool...). Then we talked in bed for an hour or so. I joked about it being a good thing I left my clothes on last night since he was Mr. Seducer! Then he asked me if I didn't ever want to do that with him anymore. I said I don't know and again blamed my surgery recovery. Then I went home, no hug or kiss goodbye. Some of my friends are telling me that since he tried to have sex with me, he's just interested in a "friends with benefits" thing, sex with no commitment. He didn't bring up the relationship or getting back together, and neither did I, but he knows that I want to get back together. When I asked him about it earlier in the week he said he needed some time to think about it. He's really not the kind of guy that is into that sort of thing. I've tried the no strings attached thing before, and it didn't feel like this. Am I over thinking? It didn't feel like he just wants a f*** buddy when I was there with him. It FELT like he wants to start things up again. Am I just letting my friends' comments get to me? I haven't heard from him since Sat morning, I'll let him contact me again since he acted so interested. I want to ask him next time I talk to him, but I know that might be too soon to bring it up. I'm thinking I should bring it up if he tries again the next time we hang out. Then I'll tell him "I only have sex with men I'm in committed relationships with." Let me know what you all think!! You guys always give such good advice!! Thanks!
  25. well, i'll try to sum it up, please stick around---->. i started dating my BF about 2 months ago... we had been "casually" hooking up while he was still at school for about a month, spring semester @ his college and i was finishing off being a high school senior. he asked me out after getting drunk at a party and hooking up with some random girl... when i got upset about it, he begged to come over and talk to me (sobered up)... and he asked me to be his girlfriend. this was a huge deal for him because he hates commitment and initially wanted to be casual with me but he couldn't deny his feelings anymore.after that he embraced them and we have had a lot of fun times over the past couple months. for a while he was coming over all the time, we were constantly together etc. but lately i've noticed a lot of negative things - i always go out of my way to make him or bring him food or just generally do favors to make his life easier while he never does, even after i had major surgery the most he did was show up at my house and complained that i smelled like medicine/ couldn't be there for him as much. lately he calls me a slacker b/c i dont have a summer job (once again, just recovering from major surgery and i'm leaving for college soon) just because he's a workaholic with three various odd jobs that take up, no joke, almost all of his time. sometimes he says i'm looking fat or i constantly eat, even tho i'm 5'9 and about a size 4/6. what really kills me is he just can't bear to prioritize anything over work. last night we had a huge fight and it ended begrudgingly, with him just saying he can't understand why i'm overreacting and/or upset and promising we could see eachother tongiht at 7. all day today his cell phones been off, he deleted his profile info (yes very 5 yeras old i know, but if someone has a nice quote and hearts about you and then they suddenly delete it?) and when i called his house he said he'll call back in 5 mins. but the fact is its now been two HOURS, and i know i shouldn't sit here waiting, but i can't find the strength to do anything else. i don't want to cry, because i did that last night for like an hour. i don't know what to do. we talked about just making the break, but the thought is making me physically nauseus.sorry i tried to make it short.... i know this seems so trivial but its my first real relationship and i don't know what to think, or super-importantly what to do. its really hurting so badly, that i feel like some of my pain must be misplaced or else i'm just really an idiot.
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