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  1. Hello! I have a new female friend but I kinda can't call her a friend. We have been "friends" for about a year and it was going good and she is so nice. But she doesn't respond to my messages. Sometimes she'll not respond at all or sometimes days later. It's really annoying. For instance she messaged me last night and asked how I was (i've had minor surgery so can't leave my house). She msg me before the surgery and I said I will need visitors as I can't go anywhere. Then I didn't hear from her for over a week until last night. Then I respond enthusiastically to her message she was updating me on her life saying I've inspired her to do videos etc. (we voice message mostly) and I give her info about me saying - It's so hard not being able to go out and congratulate her on how good her video was. AND NO RESPONSE! I would have thought there would be back and forth. This seems to happen every time! A couple of times in the past she's said "lets catch up on the weekend, I'll let you know what day"... the weekend comes and goes and she doesn't contact me. She doesn't address it. It just comes and goes. She doesn't keep her word. BUT SHE'S NICE ENOUGH! Basically I don't want her as a friend but she keeps contacting me occasionally. And I don't want to be rude so each time I let it slide. As she's a new friend I don't feel like it's my place to confront her about it. But I don't want her to keep messaging me because each time I get disappointed. I'm 38 and I have changed a lot so I don't have a lot of friends. I'd love it if she was a good friend. It's so frustrating. I feel like I am so responsive to strangers even. I've never experienced this kind of communication before it's really weird. What do I do? Or have you experienced this before?
  2. Ok so I'm sure some of you have read my post in the relationship thread about my fiance working out of town and us barely talking and so on. Basically what this boils down to is I'm unhappy. I have been extremely stressed due to the fact that he still has not been able to contribute to the Bill's at all. Except maybe $50. Now granted I can see where some of you would say he shouldn't have to pay for any of the bills here, if he's not currently here which I understand. but he's not even trying to help pay our cellphone bill. His solution to the fact that our phones are going to be shutoff is to just forget about it and go get a prepaid phone. Now I've had the same cellphone company for 7 years. Not to mention I've been working on rebuilding my credit after filing bankruptcy last year. So when he said that I was infuriated. I did calmly tell him that that is not an option nor the way i handle things. It's been harder because I had surgery 3 weeks ago and I missed a little over a week of work, on top of I'm part time and now they've cut hours so I don't even get what used to be the minimum of 25 hours a week. And I have considered getting another part time job, but on also trying to overextend myself and screw my shoulder recovery because I've also just started school. I've not had to worry so much because my veterans disability does cover the rent for the apartment. but there's still about $900 in bills that have to be paid every month. Which he used to atleast help me pay the electricity and the phone bill. I always of course covered my car and insurance. but now I'm basically scrambling to cover for everything. It has boiled down to the fact that I'm now having to move in with friends because I can no longer afford all the bills. His response was I'm sorry baby but thats a good idea and basically that was it. Mind you, it did take a bit for me to realize the only bill he has where he's at is rent to the people he's living with. Thats only 250. And he sends $50 child support every week for his daughter. I know he has child support taken out for his son. but he gets paid every week, where I only get paid every 2 weeks. And I'm lucky now if its $150 And he's currently making a good bit more than me. He goes to the gym every day on his dime and he buys protein powder and pre-workout supplements as well. But says he can't send anymore money. Is it wrong of me to be fed up? I've been thinking about ending things and just getting a fresh start. Especially since at 33 I'm having to move in with friends to get my together. on top of now I'm going to school and still recovering from shoulder surgery. Am I being stupid or what?
  3. has anyone had or known someone who has had a sinus lift and dental implants? how was the recovery? surgery? were they happy with the results? I'm pretty terrified of the idea but I think it will make a big improvement in my quality of life.
  4. Hello, So i am 20years old and i had a circumcision surgery last year. I didnt have a girlfriend that time so around 1 month ago almost a year after my surgery i was with a girl and i finally had sex after my surgery. Before my surgery i could last atleast for 10 minutes minimum but now i barely last 3 minutes, even less sometimes. We even had sex 3-4 times a day and even at that time i felt i was cumming at the very beginning let's say around 30-40 second? Like realllyyy fast. I am feeling very bad about this so this is why i made an account on this site just to ask if anyone knows anything about this had an experience or anything and how to improve this? Any response is helpful
  5. I've always known I had issues with things like depression and anxiety, but after turning 25 recently it hit me how dysfunctional I am in general and I'm not sure what the best steps are to take to get help. I grew up with an alcoholic narcissist mother (father wasn't there much) and she sent me away to a wilderness and boarding school program at age 16. After getting out at age 18 I didn't know how to adjust back to the real world and started smoking weed all day every day. I also started stripping as I had issues keeping other jobs and focusing in school due to my addictions. It's now been almost 7 years of stripping and I've spent the majority of my money on plastic surgery which was not a wise idea (I have severe body dysmorphia, not that its a valid excuse for my actions). Over time I've developed alcoholism myself and I have an average of 5-10 drinks almost every day, and more recently a bit of a coke addiction as well. I'm currently staying back with my mom as she recently had surgery and I've been helping her out, but now she is healed and wants me out of her house and I'm not sure what the best move is. She is aware of my situation but doesn't really seem too concerned about it (my father is mentally ill himself and though he is a loving dad, can barely help himself yet alone me). Do I go to rehab? Counseling? AA meetings? I can tell it's a matter of time before something extremely disastrous happens. I'm not trying to come off with a victim mentality as I realize I've done this to myself, I'm just genuinely unsure of what the next move is and don't feel like I have anyone to turn to and help me. I do have other family I can go stay with for awhile if need be but I still don't know the next steps to take for long-term solutions. Thanks in advance.
  6. Hi ENA, I broke my ankle at roller derby on 1/28/19; surgery to repair the bimalleolar fracture on 2/5/19. I had physical therapy for about 2 months after I was mobile, but due to an insurance snafu, I had to discontinue it about a month ago. I was given clearance to begin skating lightly again on 6/27/19, but after three attempts, my ankle just isn't having any of it. I bought new skates that come up over my ankle (as the surgeon recommended), and I wear compression socks to improve circulation, but I can't wear any type of sleeve or brace because my skates would be too small (although they may stretch a little once they are broken in more). I deal with pretty extreme stiffness from the injury, and the surgeon warned that this may be a lifetime thing, because apparently I have an uncommon issue where part of one bone is growing in towards the other one where there's usually only tissue. He said I could get another surgery to remove it, but it'll likely just grow back. So I'm already working with a disadvantage due to that. I do the "normal" exercises that loosen the ankle and assist with stretching it (circles, "tracing" the alphabet, stretching along a wall, etc), but it doesn't seem to have made much difference. At home I have a treadmill and free weights, along with a weight bench and weights to go on the bar over the bench, but those won't really do much in terms of ankle strengthening. I just continue to feel stiff and I'm not really even able to jog, let alone skate. I get pain on the outside of the ankle towards the foot, under where the new plate is. Does anyone have any ideas for at-home things I can do to try and strengthen the ankle so I can skate again? Thanks :)
  7. Please help, i have been in a relationship for almost 4 years, one of them it was a long distance relationship but throughout the relationship there been a lot of fights and discussions, something that was weird but ultimately seemed normal, but as time goes by it has escalated. My gf main arguments is that I am not strong enough and I don't seem manly, that I am clumsy and that it seems as I was always with my head somewhere else, that I am slow, and she calls me a kid. I am an introvert, and I take my time to do things such as cooking something or sweeping the floor or such but I don't consider myself dumb or inmature, I lived abroad for 6 years and at this moment I am living with my parents because I used my savings to do a masters degree and I am saving again for buying an apartment of my own, I personally think if that is not at least being a bit smart and independent, I really don't know what is. I've been hitting the gym for almost a year three days a week and taking proteins trying to asses her claims on my lack of strength but my ectomorph body won't show major growth despite advances on the weight I lift compared to when I entered and that gives here grounds to keep on complaining; also followed 6 months in a dance course to address another complain yet she still says is not enough cause I still look stiff while dancing. She has had several problmes during the last months, she did a laser operation on her, eyes then had a skin infection a cousin of her died and I've been with her day and night in the hospital at her home during and while at times she acknowledges then she says that I am no support for her because of "the way I am". I feel unrequited and generally sad, giving my everything and most of the times being shouted at or insulted with things such as slow or child when I take long to cook dinner or something like that. Being in this relationship feels like a chore, having to face that after returning from work. Most importantly there have been episodes where I've been physically attacked, never with full force but once it left a mark of scratches in my neck, I never do anything else than trying to hold her arms for her to stop. In those episodes she throw anything that is near against me or to the ground, twice i was hit with keys and she has destroyed three phones, one of which I lendes her after she destroyed the other, the most recent one she wanted to charge me because "it was my fault as I made her mad". On december I noticed that while being on a lunch That my parents offered for new years eve, she was absent minded chatting with some guy, I must admit I sttepped a line and checked her phone some days later and found out she was flirting with the guy and they were sending each other kisses and such. When we talked about it and cleared the air on the faults of each other in the episode she agreed not to talk with the guy again. After that I've done my best to bury the episode, regretfully I've brought it back on a couple of discussions, nevertheless, she brings that up when accusing me of something saying that "thats why she was flirting with him" and "that if I don't change she the same will happen with other guys". I found that extremely offensive and the last time she brought it up I gathered all my willpower and in the most calm manner said that if that is how she pictured the relationship it was better to break up now, after saying that and while stepping through the front door she shouted that if I left I was going to have to carry her body while inserting in her mouth several pills that she gathered from the house. I returned to make her spit the pills and when she sppited them the discussion resumed and told me that it was my ego that didn't let me change to be more "agile, strong, manly and independent" to which I only could answer that I am doing my best to be a human being in this world and to make her happy but if it isn't enough it was better for both of us to break up. Once again while reaching to the front door she grabbed a knife and threw it against a table injuring her fingers in doing so. She had to go to surgery because she cut her tendons and is now wearing a cast and have limited mobility on those fingers. During this time I haven't have the heart to break up, and still trapped doing my best for taking care of her, today is the third day in a row I get insults for failing at tasks sich as fast dinner, bringing the correct things to her lap or applying cream. I am afraid to even mention any of my feelings as it can unleash a reaction that can worsen her wound from surgery. But I cannot resist any longer, and for moments I dont know if she crossed the line or I'm genuinely screwing things up that I deserve the insults. I'm lost, tired and desperate. Ps I suggested her to go to a psychologist following the knife episode, at first she agreed, but on another occassion I reminded her about it she said I am doing it for me and did a movement that hurt her wounded finger, luckily nothing serious.
  8. Hello, Im new here so not sure if this is the right place for this. Anyways over the last weekend my girlfriend of 2 years made the decision to take a break which caught me totally off guard. To get to the point a little quicker over the last year i got too comfortable and started to take her out less (almost never) and she started to feel neglected which I totally understand. I asked her to talk a few days later and we did for about 3 hours where I put it all on the plate admitting that I totally saw where I went wrong and that she means the world to me and that I can turn myself around. She told me she is still very much in love with me and doesnt want it to end but that I need to put in the work to show her I really mean it. To give a little more information about myself I am preparing over the last few months for some surgery that is probably the thing I am most fearful of in this world but it needs to get done. Her mom reached out to me and talked to me about it and she told me she would really like to see me with her daughter and so did her brother, I spent thanksgiving day with her and her family mind you this is about 4 days after we broke up. I really want to make this work and keep her in my life she truly means the world to me and im just not really sure what to do at this point. I am treating this as I am completely starting over in terms of making my mentality that I am falling in love with her again and talking her out on dates (Like I should have been) and really showing her what she means to me. Any input would be amazing and im sorry for being kind of all over the place in this post im not usually someone who posts to threads. Thanks
  9. My husband is currently overseas, and while playing soccer, he twisted his knee, and hurt his meniscus. I'm not sure how bad it is yet, but he says that they're talking about surgery. I need to know what to do to help him, and how to support him after the surgery. PLEASE HELP ME~!~
  10. link removed this is a really good article in this week's Savage Love. he has good information on all those so called "penis enlargement pills and surgeries." one word: DON'T!!!
  11. It's interesting to note all the variations on what people feel rape is. Simply put, rape is non-consensual sex. We've had everything from rape being: A). sex without consent obtained verbally and throughout the act B). rape being what a "reasonable person" would consider it to be C). sex that the perpetrator knows is against the will of the victim In the latter case, of course, rape is only what the rapist defines it to be. Convenient for the rapist, not so good for their victims. However, consider that some of the posters may come from areas where women have few legal rights, and laws against rape may be new to those societies. Those people do not understand a legal tradition that springs from a culture where women have had rights for hundreds of years. Both traditions will feel they are "right;" both will be sure they are occupying the moral high ground. So, without expecting consensus of opinion, it is worth considering our personal idea of what rape is. Even within a single culture, there will be differences of opinion. For example, some people may feel that rape is impossible in a marital relationship; the battered wife in hospital with a perforated intestine would beg to differ. Can we imagine a man who uses sex to hurt his wife? Can we then agree that rape is possible within a marital situation? I define rape for myself as sex that is non-consensual at any point in the act. For example, if I went in for a surgery, signed the papers, willingly went under the anaesthetic, and then the surgeon went to town on me and did all kinds of horrible things, he would be thrown in jail. If he removed the wrong organ, he would be again be liable. My consent to surgery did not imply consent to him doing whatever he wanted. My body was my own at all times during the surgery; thus, he didn't have the right to do whatever he wanted, and it was incumbent on him to obtain consent for the actual procedures he performed. Similiarly, my consent to be in the same room with a man, does not imply consent to sex. In some cultures, it does. My consent to sleep in the same bed with a man does not imply consent to sex. To some people, it does. My consent to begin sex does not imply consent to finish, or do anything the other person wants; I have control over my body even then, and if my partner wants to do something I don't want to do, I have the right to say no. Even if I have already begun having sex. Many people question, is it rape: If you're compensated for it afterward, with money, gifts or favours? If you're unconscious, and unable to feel anything or give/deny consent? If you're married, or s/he's your boyfriend/girlfriend? If you have had a prior sexual relationship with this person? If you don't say no? If you don't fight? If you had an orgasm? If the rapist is a woman and the victim a man? For me, rape is that act that denies that we have the right to take control of what happens to us at all times. Consent is an on-going event, not a one-time thing. Consent to one act does not imply consent to others; many women who enjoy straight or vanilla sex would refuse to be tied up and gagged, or to engage in a threesome. We all, men and women, have the right to refuse, at any point, anything that we do not want. I am taking personal rights to the furthest extreme in this regard, but ultimately, if anyone feels that they do not agree, and that they would happily cede control of their body to someone who would hurt them or debase them, that person may argue in good conscience with me.
  12. I got dumped about 2 weeks ago last sun and I thought that's what I wanted to and didnt fight it. I was very good and held on to my NC and went out everynight distracting myself. Then a week ago sun she called me and basically was pissed at me cause she labelled me a liar and blamed me for the whole relationship falling apart. She asked if we were going to be able to be friends and I told her i don't know and that I would need time. I told her being friends would be difficult for me cause I would sitll have feelings for her and she basically told me she has so many guy friends that way and that I should deal with it or not try and be friends with her. She keeps doing little things trying to getting me to talk to her like away messages online and I really would like to talk to her cause I miss her soo much but I don't want to put myself through more hurt cause as much as I am hurting right now, I don't want to back to being miserable. I had surgery last fri and the night before she called me to wish me goodluck and I missed her call so after listening to her message I texted her saying just the word "thanx" and she immediately got online and messaged me saying "I was hoping I could atleast say that to you directly not your voicemail!" and just signed off. Since then I texted her once on sat thanking her for thinking of me. Since then I just see her online and have been holding myself back from contacting her. I don't really know what to do. On one hand I do want her in my life but I don't think I can handle just being friends and on the other hand I have some hope that we can work things out but am not banking a lot on that. I've been stuck in the house for about 4 straight days now, because of my surgery, and can't watcy tv or anything cause its causing me headaches, I can't really sleep cause I am awake after like 15 mins and can't fall back asleep and I am going to be stuck alone for another week atleast. So all I have is time to think, thinking about me and her and I miss her a lot! If someone has any remedies to how I can distract myself or if I should make the call to clear things up please let me know.
  13. Ok everyone! I've been posting about my break up for a little while. We had a date on Friday. I met him at his house, we went to have dinner, watched a movie back at his house, drank some wine, watched some tv, talked about things we have going on, he made some comments that made me believe he wanted to see me again, said he was bummed that he wouldn't get to see me again until Sept (he's going on a business trip). He was all over me, cuddling, touching, etc. I of course played it cool and didn't initiate any of the contact, but I was receptive to it. He'd get excited about hearing about my school plans and work, etc. and asked me a bunch of questions about what I have planned. We were clicking again. Anyways, I ended up drinking more wine than I should have and before I knew it, it was 3am. We live an hour apart, and I was falling asleep on the couch, so I was in no position to drive! So he said I should just stay over (I didn't plan on doing that). I slept in his bed with him, but left my clothes on! He cuddled and spooned with me pretty much the whole night. In the morning, I woke up to some back of the neck kissing and seduction. I told him that I couldn't do anything since I had just had surgery. He said ok and gave me our "signature" smootchies, which I didn't return (playing it cool...). Then we talked in bed for an hour or so. I joked about it being a good thing I left my clothes on last night since he was Mr. Seducer! Then he asked me if I didn't ever want to do that with him anymore. I said I don't know and again blamed my surgery recovery. Then I went home, no hug or kiss goodbye. Some of my friends are telling me that since he tried to have sex with me, he's just interested in a "friends with benefits" thing, sex with no commitment. He didn't bring up the relationship or getting back together, and neither did I, but he knows that I want to get back together. When I asked him about it earlier in the week he said he needed some time to think about it. He's really not the kind of guy that is into that sort of thing. I've tried the no strings attached thing before, and it didn't feel like this. Am I over thinking? It didn't feel like he just wants a f*** buddy when I was there with him. It FELT like he wants to start things up again. Am I just letting my friends' comments get to me? I haven't heard from him since Sat morning, I'll let him contact me again since he acted so interested. I want to ask him next time I talk to him, but I know that might be too soon to bring it up. I'm thinking I should bring it up if he tries again the next time we hang out. Then I'll tell him "I only have sex with men I'm in committed relationships with." Let me know what you all think!! You guys always give such good advice!! Thanks!
  14. All right this is long but please read the entire thing i need HELP...I've been "dating" this girl named Cassie for almost 6 months...we had known each other for 3 years before this and were more like best friends and one day we admitted how we felt about each other. The problem is there is this other guy named Daniel who she also had feelings for and that prevented us from officially going out. So she barley ever hangs with Daniel, they've been out together a few times but she barley hangs out with him and in all honesty Dan is actually one of my really good friends and me and him might as well be brothers...we both like the same stuff and basically look the same we might as well be the same guy. All right so as you can guess she is confused but when i tell you what I've done and how much she and I have done together in the past 6 months and compare it to Dan this is where i don't get whats so hard about her decision....I've met her entire family...they all love me and i love them...and vice versa about her and my family...I've been on a family vacation with them to Washington D.C. and led them around the city cause i know it really well...I got her a beautiful necklace for her b-day...she had surgery on her legs and i came back from my family vacation a day early so i could go with her family to UVA where she had to get her surgery...then not counting the two weeks before that where i was with her almost every day....i was beside her while she had to stay in the houes almost constantly for two weeks...i was there every single day helping out...cooking dinners to help her mom out....even redrilled holes in her crutches to fit her exact height and just generally spent time with her. I've told her that i love her and she was constantly saying "I love you so much" and "I wish you were here with me" when i was on the phone with her...we've even done some physical things (not intercourse but some other stuff)....we've been kissing for 4 months....now all of a sudden Dan took her out a couple of times and he told her he liked her...then her mom found out and scolded her and made her feel bad because apparently she likes both of us still...and finally i can even see her having trouble saying "I love you" and she doesn't jump at the chance to kiss me as much as she did. I still spend a lot of time with her...but idk what to do anymore...i'm so frustrated but i can't let her go cause she's the only girl i care about and she knows that...but she just can't make a decision between me and Dan even though she says she likes me more....i'm like losing sleep over this stuff and its killing me...so please please give me some advice i need it so badly
  15. Update after the date I was posting about last night in my other thread.. Whew !,,,, Well I made it through the date last night with out being a big bundle of nerves. He was about 15 minutes late, so I started to feel uneasy for a bit. He had forgotten to tell me he had to stop for gas before he headed over. We met at the little restaurant that I had mentioned before. We had a delicious dinner and chatted for quite a while. After the dinner we went over to this casino/bingo/ dog racing establishment and stayed there for about 3 hours playing a few slots,listened to some music and sat in the lounge area and had an after dinner drink. He seemed pretty outgoing , and talkative and we do have a few common interests. He was complimenting me on my hair, because he said he loves long hair on a woman. But he was not being overly flirty or anything. He didn't put any " moves" on me at the end of the evening. Which I was glad I didn't have to deal with that on a first date. But here is the part where I have a little bit of concern. The conversation flowed, as in there were not any awkward quiet moments. However, much of his conversation was about HIM and his late wife. He never really asked that much about me, or my life, kids, family. I heard all about his personal ailments, surgeries, heart attacks, etc. Then I heard a three month scenario of how his wife died. I would try to lead the conversation in a different direction, but each time that I would tell something about myself and my life, and sort of leave the door open for him to ask questions, he would go right back to the conversation about his ailments and his late wife. I was a bit put off by that. I know that I am probably not going to find a guy that is in my age range that absolutely has no health issues ofsome sort. BUT,,,,, gosh , this scared me when he said he had already had two angioplasties, with stent placement and two heart attacks, foot surgery, knee surgery and back surgery. He is 51 years old. Now , he is also a bit " rough around the edges". It is kind of hard to describe what I mean by rough round the edges. Ok , let me put it this way.... he is very very very " country " acting in his ways. As in kind of over the line from country to actually being a " redneck" as we call them in the south. His dining manners while we were having dinner were not that great. You know , talking with food in his mouth, kind of smacking when he talked and ate at the same time. I also kind of like it when a guy is kind enough to open and hold a door for me, but he would open a door and go out first ahead of me. It was like it never dawned on him to hold the door for me. The date has its plus side, in the fact that I got out of the house and actually went some where and had a nice diiner, went to the casino, music, drinks, but on the other hand I am just not sure I am comfortable seeing him again. At times he as pleasant enough, friendly, etc, but there were moments where I just felt out of place with him. He is already wanting to get together Saturday night. No plan was made. I told him we will talk later about it. Don't know how to handle that part just yet as I am not so sure I truly want to see him again. I am having quite a few reservations about letting it go any further with him. It is not my intention to sound as though I am being too picky about things. It is not that I think I am better than he is, but I just feel we have a different style, is the best way I can put it. But what do you all think? Am I too picky, am I too worried about health issues with a potential BF ? Am I expecting too much ?
  16. Welcome to my worst nightmare... Last Friday my daughter broke her ankle (broke tibia and phrond/fx) at gym. It's broke/fractured in two places. Next step is a CT scan which Dr said will reveal whether there is more damage and if she needs surgery/pins. It has been a long journey, people. My kid has been in gym for 13 years. We have built our lives around her endeavor to the extent that our gym family were are only friends outside of work and school. It is all gone now. We find ourselves hopelessly alone. Visited gym once (too many crutches/ casts can't be good for business ya know). She is non-weight-bearing for atleast 8 wks and then we will have PT and may not totally recover even in 6 months, with the prospect that her bones may always be weak. She is definitely out for the season and may not be able to do gym anymore at all. Up until the point of impact, things had been going great, too. Now, our lives are like a train wreck. Instead of running to gym 4x/wk (4-1/2 hrs/day). We are running to the hospital/dr. 2x/wk. Hard to believe, just one moment of weakness, lack of focus and our lives are changed possibly forever. Reducing her sports career to a few papers & ribbons. Devastating on the finances, too. $25,000 for surgery on a broken leg. I'm a single mom and yes, I have insurance. But, it's still an 80/20 co-pay. I was already overextended, now I'm completely stressed. Any words of encouragement are very much appreciated.
  17. ok, so i met a guy a few months ago and we've been dating since. he's younger than me by 10 years and just graduating from dental school before moving back to new york where he's from. we've been having fun and keeping things light. neither of us has been dating other people. a couple of weeks ago, one of my close family members died, which was quite a shock. he was nice on the phone, but didn't really step up to offer huge condolences/support the way i would have. then my dad went into the hospital for same major surgery and was in the ICU. (i told him about this beforehand.) the day of the surgery, he didn't call until 10:30 at night and then left me some silly message not even mentioning the surgery or asking how my dad was. this, despite the fact that tons of my other friends (including exes from months back) all called to express their care and concern earlier that day. this really left a bad taste in my mouth. i was at the hospital all week and he called and left a few messages. i finally called him back to say that i was just leaving the hospital and exhausted. i think then it clicked and he remembered the surgery. he was nice then asking if there was anything i needed. we talked on thursday and he asked me if i wanted to get together over this (past) weekend. i said i had already made other plans with girlfriends both nights. i called him on my way home last night (late) and he sounded alseep. even so, it sounded like he was blowing me off. given everything i've been through lately, i'm having a hard time trying to figure out what's right and what's not. i'm also feeling kind of lonely (sunday blues?) and not ready to deal with another loss in my life right now. then i remind myself that he will be leaving town in a month anyway. should i just forget about this one and assume he's too immature/temporary to worry about?
  18. Ok, I've always felt that I wasn't a very good looking fellow. I have acne scars, they're not bad but my skin is uneven from the breakouts.I have a bad overbite, I will be getting braces soon so that won't help matters.On top of that I am like skinny, I am about 5,9 at about 150 lbs. There's been a few incidents where someone has called me ugly & that really lowered my self esteem.I can't go to a derm or do anything fancy to help myself as of right now, my mom thinks going to a derm is a waste of money & I've tried to convince her for years but nothing. If I could get plastic surgery, I probably would. I want to look like the famous actors or musicians people go crazy over.I really hate looking at myself in pictures because I always look weird. I always obsess over the way I look. I know there's more to life but it's something that nags me almost everyday.
  19. Sometimes I'm so devastated by my voice. As my job requires me to do lots of presentations, my bad and soft voice always frustrates me by preventing me from presenting successfully. And this has caused awful consequences on my self-esteem. My presentation materials are well-organized and my appearance is fine. It's just my voice that makes me feel disgusted and it becomes the major obstacle in confidently getting messages accross to people. I feel hopeless because I don't know how I can improve my voice, which is a natural-born thing. I mean, if I'm dissatisfied with my appearance, I can have plastic surgery. But what can I do with my bad voice? In the place where I live, there's no voice coach or similar service. I tried to persuade myself to accept my bad voice but every time I open up my mouth to speak I just can't… I think my job is meaningful and I don't want to change my career path just because of this silly voice… Does anyone have the same problem? What do you do to overcome it? Thanks…
  20. i had a man recently tell me his opinion on beautiful women this weekend. unfortunately, i wasn't able to voice my opinion so i'd like to rant here a bit on the subject. the perception on how beautiful women are and how to get them are so wrong. apparently the only way to get a beautiful woman is to have a big job or professional status of some sort, the list went on. basically a man can be nasty, ugly, doesn't matter what type of person he is, as long as he is in a professional job that is considered above average. so if you get to date beautiful women for that reason only then what your getting is a gold digger, nothing beautiful about that. so if all beautiful women were like that then you wouldn't see some living average with an average man or alone, working hard to support themselves.. lots of very beautiful women out there that are beautiful to look at with perfect body's without any type of surgery, that could be living very well off already if they were all like that. what's important to lots of beautiful women is what type of person a man is inside, not just what he does. sure no woman wants to be with a man on welfare, sleeping all day but it doesn't matter what he does as long as it's something. so for all you young men out there, be a good person, make a honest living and treat others, including yourself with respect and you'll find a true beautiful woman.
  21. Ok, now after my father got a liver transplant, if your a regular and youve been following all of my posts. than you know its been a hell of a life for me. My gramother got triplebypass surgery. because she had a heart attack. my gramother is the strongest person i have ever met. she fought getting through and old mean husband, mean children (besides my mom) and breast cancer, 2 knee replacements, and a broken feemer, in acouple years. She just got openheart surgery, and shes been on the venelator for 13 days, they want to put her on dialisis, but she just keeps saying she wants to die. They said shes gonna be in the hospital for months and months, and she just keeps telling us she wants to die. My mother is torn to pieces, my gram is all we know, we go down her house everday, my sister lives with her to help her pay her house bills. My gramother never wanted to die, the life she had with US....we made it special, we had good times. TOok her anywhere she wanted to go. In my heart I dont think she wants to die because i think shes just so depressed that shes on life support that she just wants out the easy way. The doctors say theres No way of telling if shes gonna be on the venelator forever or just for awhile. But my gram has a living WILL and she can do whatever she wants. Were hurt she doesnt want to try... but maybe shes tired, maybe she had her life and doesnt want to anymore.... but why cant she for us... we tell her we love her..we sit up in the TICU ALL DAY EVERDAY! She knows we love her. WE talked about everything, we told her she might not be this way forever, but she might, and she needs to try, but we cant be selfish, were trying to Honor her wishes, but the doctor said he have to give it acouple days because they cant just pull the plug. I have no words for this... a part of me thinks its the depression talking, but another part makes me think maybe shes ready...shes 80... she says to us "i want to see my mother, i want to go to heaven now"... but,... what if theres a part of her that doesnt... ... i know my gram... and i know theres a part that doesnt. i have no say so in any of this. my mom wants to keep her alive, but my gram is so freakin mad its unbelivable...
  22. Hello all. I have a girlfriend of 23 years old. Yesturday we were on our way to a concert. She was caught with just 1 Lortab. She was sent to jail and her bond is set at $6000 and was charged with class 3 drug possession. Does anyone know what could happen to her. Knowing this is her first conviction of this magnitude... Can someone help me please I am worried to death. She just had surgery yesturday and she is in alot of pain. What can I do, who can I talk to?? The police wont talk to me, nobody will!! and she has NOBODY, no friends no family I am her only one for 500 miles.....
  23. I’m fragile. I’m so fragile that sometimes I hurt myself on purpose. I cut my hands open like they were in a need of a surgery when in reality they’re not. I like the pain the cuts make; I like the way the blood tribbles out of the wounds and runs down my arms; somehow it makes me feel safe again. Hurting myself makes me feel safer and calmer. I’m so fragile that I cry myself to sleep and hope to never wake up again. I cry in the shower and I cry in my room when my parents are in the living room watching TV-shows thinking I’m okay. They should think again because I’m way less than okay, I’m sinking and drowning into my own sadness but they don’t see it. I don’t want them to see it, they would only make it worse. I’m so fragile that I stay awake until it’s light again so I wont dream about that certain someone or about things I can’t never have. I’m so fragile that I smile and laugh as if I was the happiest human on Earth. They don’t know that I hurt myself, cry everytime I’m alone, feel like I want to die. They don’t know and they wont know because I plan to stay fake-smiling and laughing as long as they believe it.
  24. Hi guys Warning: This is a Rant and I'm just writing down everything without actually processing what I'm writing. So here goes: I am very very miserable right now in my life. I am currently a college student and life seems downhill and I seem to be waiting for my life to end. Why? I don't know. But Here are a few things that frustrate me and have been frustrating me: 1. My boyfriend dumped me in June 2006 and I still think of him even though I immediately started no contact when he dumped me and he was a jerk and a cheater but I already mentioned that in a past post. 2. Any guy that shows interest in me seems to lose interest as soon as they start to attempt to get to know me. It must be because of my shyness and their lack of patience in actually taking the time to wait until the other person feels comfortable enough to open up. Oh well...too bad for me. 3. I am a broke joke. I have no money to do certain things. One of the things that I have been waiting to do is get my chemical peel on my face (as recommended by dermatologist) because I suffer from hyperpigmentation and I get acne scars from all of my acne...so you could imagine all the dark spots on my disgusting face. My parents don't help either because they're always criticizing me for it but as stated by my dermatologist, my acne is genetic....so that frustrates me even further. Well, the insurance doesn't cover the chemical peel so I have to wait until I or my parents have money...(I'm planning on using my income tax to do this) So yes...finally...but I'm honestly tired of waiting. Because of my acne problem, I tend to look down a lot because I guess I'm mentally trying to hide my face (even though it doesn't really work). I also have acne on my back and acne scars and I can't wear spaghetti straps or any clothes that is revealing because it would be disgusting to even see my acne. 4. I am also waiting to have a reduction mammaplasty. I just finished my physical therapy sessions and now my physical therapist has sent me to get an Xray and an MRI done so I am taking all of the steps needed to have the insurance approve my surgery. The reason why I am having my surgery is because I actually do have back pains because of the size of my breasts so it causes me to hunch over. I am also not comfortable by the physical appearance of my chest so I try to hide it by wearing loose fitting clothing. So here I am waiting. Waiting to have my miserable surgery. 5. I have gained weight..not too much...just about 15 pounds a while ago but I am a petite girl so it is quite obvious. I started going to the gym this semester but after a stressful situation with my previous roommates and my appointments with the physical therapist, I have stopped going. Now that I'm done, I haven't been able to force myself to go back to the gym...and I actually did start feeling really good when I was going. I guess the reason why I haven't been back is because I know that since I haven't been there in such a long time, it will be harder and I won't be able to workout as easily and as long as I used to. 6. I have slight orthodontal relapse that bothers me and that I see as temporary ( A small gap in between my two front teeth). I had braces when I was younger but due to my tongue thrusting, this gap formed. I went back to my orthodontist and he gave me a video that would correct my tongue thrusting and I haven't been doing the exercises. It is supposed to work in 3 months. I am a lazy, pathetic person. 7. I can't wear revealing bathing suits (if I ever did decide to go to the beach) because I have stretch marks. Yes..I have stretch marks and it's genetic and its simply that the dermis is stretched and if the elasticity (caused by collagenous and elastic fibers in the skin) is not sufficient then you will end up with these nasty scars. I got mine during puberty. Lucky me. So it's not like it's disgusting to have stretch marks...they're simply scars. That's it. Well, I guess that's it. That's the temporary end of my rant. I've revealed everything but who cares. Like I said before, I've grown tired of life and I really feel like I should just sit here and wait for it to be over. I'm miserable and I feel hopeless. Thanks for listening.
  25. I don't even know if it exists but I would imagine it does somewhere! I tried searching for it but I can't find it...if anyone knows any sites where I can ask someone in the medical field I woudl greatly appretiate it! Incase anyone here knows....I am looking for a tube or something that could be inserted into the uretheral opening (female) to direct urine away from a certain area. (recently had surgery). ANYTHING would help! In much pain even with pain killers!!
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