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probably not...I think somehow I've influenced him a lot and in a positive way...Yeah..I agree that's a morality thing..some times I wish I have done some stupid things so it would be easier for me to forgive people..I have been really strict with myself, due to the way my parents raised me...maybe it's time to throw away those stupid moral values...

he has never done that since that time...he used to date all kinds of girls, including a stripper, who was his law school classmate ....it just makes me look down on him, even though he is quiet faithful to me, especially when our relationship wasn't going well, he would rather do-it-himself instead of getting another woman... Yes, it's the prostitute thing..sex with girlfriend is different..you know emotions and feeling and mutual respect are involved......but with a prostitute...yuck...now i keep thinking what they did in our bed...ewww..help...

So we were watching this biography show on discovery channel, it was about Benjamin..who was famous for his interest in prostitutes...so I asked my bf if he ever did one...he said only once and it was in the same bed we are currently sleep on...he said he was single and horny and desperate...it happened about 5 years ago... He is quiet faithful with me and actually he is the one that I feel most secure with...but somehow thinking about it just grosses me out...he paid $350/hr so I guess he must have had a really good service...yuck...it bothers me so much...

His behaviors kinda indicates what he wants from me, which I believe it's marriage. However, I have learned things can change, nothing is really certain. Only time can tell us. I've only been with him about 1 year, living together for 4 months. It's too soon for me to make decisions. ...again, just my philosophy...

my bf has a homemade sex video tape of him and his ex having sex...more of filming her though....He told me he did some naughty thing with her but didn't tell me if he still keeps it...I accidentally found it out while I was looking for some other tapes...I watched it and my heart sank...But I didn't say anything and I let it go... I think it's his right to keep it...it was a part of his life. I don't have naked pics or sex tape of my exes, but they are in my memory and no one can really take them away. However, I know past is past, the man I love is him now. I don't miss any of my ex bfs while I am with him. But on last Friday, we had a big fight. It was about his ex, who he filmed. The fight was not about the tape, it was like this girl was enaged, and then she threw herself to him and he was horny and then ..well you know the rest. We were arguing about moral standards...but it ended up him telling me he felt that 4 months were "his happest time" ever and that girl was not a bad person or I am a better person. I got really hurt and I made a connection with the tape, which made me feel even worse. I left him for my apartment (we live together in his house) without telling him why. He called and apologized and asked me to go home. I think the problem is not about the pics or the tape, it is about if you think and believe you are the only woman in his heart while you two are together. I never felt more secure with anyone else but him. He asked me to move in with him, he introduced me to his family, he cancelled his membership on link removed soon after we met, he let me access his email ( I don't want to though)...I felt he is the man that I can really trust. I have faith in what I believe and I decided to forgive him. Besides, while I was giving hard time to him, he was quiet patient (he is not a good tempered man and he is quitting pot, quiet depressed), looking at me or just lying beside me to watch me sleep. Last nite, he taped us and I felt.... kinda happy (b/c i feel special??) but also sad (b/c what he said about that girl)... I think the difference between your case and my case is your bf lied to you. That's bad. My bf wouldn't lie to me, if I asked him if he had the tape, he probably would have told me he did. At some point he has to throw that tape away though. Now I think it's not the time. We are just bf and gf, not married yet. No one knows if it's going to work out or not. It's not fair to ask him to give up his belongings for someone he might or might not have in the future. This is jsut my way of thinking. Hope it helps...

my boyfriend has quick temper as well as anixety disorder. He has been taking zoloft for 8 years, meanwhile he is also a heavy pot smoker. Now he is quitting smoking but really having difficult time. He is quiet depressed, bored and having bad dreams almost everynight. He quit smoking before and he said that wasn't this hard, because at that time he didn't take zoloft and he felt pot burn him out. But now, since he is taking zoloft, he doesn't really get the high (as high as before) and he doesn't feel burn out either, he doesn't have negative feelings toward pot,which also makes him feel less motivated to quit. To understand how pot affect our behaviors, I tried once and did get the high. It made me really don't care about anything, I felt I was disconnected from the reality, I had nothing to do with whatever happened around me. However, my boyfriend could talk, think logically while he was stoned. His emotions and responses seem quiet like a sober person while he is stoned. The only thing I could feel is he is lazy and lack of memory. He has not been smoking for about 8 days now and he felt really unhappy and started thinking about going back to smoke. His excuse is zoloft cancels some bad effects of marijuana. I don't know what to say, I really need some help here... Thanks...

Almost everytime after I decided to leave a relationship, I felt hurt, even though I felt the relationship was just really plain or more like roomate living together. After a fight with my bf about his colorful sexual past, which happened a week ago, I started to think if I want to continue with him or not. Now the matter is beyond his past, I am reviewing all the moments I spent with him. The conclusion is I felt peaceful 80% of time, upset 20% of time, but not feeing close enough as most couples do happened 100% of the time. He is one of those guys who try to be a bad *** and not like to talk about feelings. So what would you do if you were me? BTW, we haven't talked since last week's fight.

My boyfriend and I had broken up before because of his bad temper but after a few months we got back together. Since then everything went great and we had been together for 3 months without a single argument until last Sunday. We were watching a biography TV show about Benjamin Franklin, who liked to have fun with low women (prostitutes). So out of curiosity, I asked him if he had done a prostitute. And he said yes and only once. Then I asked when did that happen. He said 4 years ago. Then I asked him if it acctually happeneded in the same bed we are sleeping and in the same house we are living? He said yes. Then he told me he had some relationships with strippers too while he was in lawschool. I felt that he thought those were fun life experiences and adventures. I didn't react too much or got angry. But I know I felt overwhelmed and I don't know why. I know I am not supposed to judge him because of his past..but I just feel it's so filthy to have sex with strippers or a call girl. Now even worse, if we ever gonna have sex in that bed, I would think whatever he is doing to me is what he had done with that call girl. Later on I shut myself in the bedroom, trying to clear my thoughts. He came in trying to intimate with me, I told him I felt tired and low.So he gave up. Then, after a while, he came over trying to intimate with me again, I rejected him. He felt kinda frustrated. From this point, everything just felt odd. We didn't even sleep together. While he was sleeping, I was watching TV till 3:00am. Then I woke him up and asked him to play poker online (that's his hobby). Then in morning, I woke up and found out he was sleeping in the couch, and I said why didn't you go to bed to sleep. He said well I should stop eating chinese food because that made my breath smell so bad that the whole bedroom smell bad. I told him well I like chinese food and I would continue to eat it. Then he said I better not sleep in his bed anymore. I said fine. So I collected my stuff and left him. I am not really pissed for him to pick up on me with the chinese food, b/c I know that's not true and it's actually quiet stupid. I just don't know how to overcome his past ... plus now we are quiet in a cold war situation. He doesn't know why I rejected him from having sex and I don't really know why he would pick up on me with the Chinese food....any suggestions will be really helpful here. Thanks.

I do want him back,but I would like to take things slowly. He knows his problems and he is taking medicines....I don't really know if he still likes me...if yes, then at least we could have a common ground to start with; if not, I don't see things can work out....

I broke up with this guy 2 weeks ago because he had a bad temper plus we fought a lot. However, the following Monday after we broke up he sent an email. He said "I am sorry things didn't work out. But I really think you are a sweet girl just we are too different. Please let me take care of Rocky (my dog) whenever you get out of town and let me know if you ever need anything --- Your friend (his name goes here)". And I replied asking him to relax and not to think too much (Because I wasn't sure if I really wanted to get back to him). Then after one week, I really had to get out of town for 4 days so I emailed him if he still wanted to take care Rocky,but indicating him it's okay to say No if he didn't want to. He replied he would love to help me out.... On Christmas day, I came to his house to pick up Rocky. I brough him a pair of funny slippers. He wore them on instantly saying he really loved them. Then he said my dog could come to his house at any time. Also when he walked me out, he said he almost went fishing today (we used to do it together and it's his favuorite hobby) and then he offered a big hug. I feel we still like each other, beacuse we were genuinely happy to see each other again, but i don't want to assume anything. So for all guys, would you be that nice to your ex gf if you don't like them anymore? My plan is to hang out with him as a friend first and then I might get back with him if things go well. Any tips on how to act on that? He hasn't contacted me or asked me out yet since i left him on Xmas day

And he sent an email this Monday telling me "Sorry things didn't work out, but at least we got to know each other. Please let me take care of your dog whenever you get out of town and please let me know if you ever need anything." I guess this past weekend was hard for him too. I haven't replied yet coz I don't know what to do. His temper really is a problem but I do miss him from time to time. Any suggestions? Thanks..

Thanks for the inputs. They help a lot. I feel bad because he almost has everything I am looking for, but his temper really scares me. He is not a people person, he likes his dogs more than anything or anyone else. He often mentioned he didn't like people...He dated a girl for 1 and a half years, he told me they never fought because she was really nice. But he had to break up with her because of lack of physical attraction. The reason why he dated her for so long was because he needed someone to hangout with and she was really nice to him. This was another concern I had. I think he is too self-centered...

I met this 35-year old guy online and the first few dates went well. But as I time went on, I found out he got irritated quiet easily. He likes saying the "F" word a lot, and if there is someone driving too slowly before him, he will show the finger..etc..He quit drugs and alcohol 4 years ago and now he is trying to quit smoking, he is also on Zoloft to treat his anxiety disorder...I guess all of these contribute to his hot temper. Well, I have some issues too, such as I have trouble expressing my feelings, sometimes there were moments I really wanted to get into his arms, but I didn't, which also made him feel confused...But anyway, last nite I found his profile active online and I got quiet upset. So I called him (BTW, we barely called each other, instead we emailed each other a lot) and told him we had a lot of problems, which he agreed. Especially Christmas is coming and finally we have a lot of free time, but we don't know what to do with each other, because we would fight (He has hot temper and I am not submissive either). I pointed out if these problems are not to be solved, eventually we would break up and surprisingly, he didn't get mad, instead he was really nice.He said Okay and told me I could put my dog in his house if I had to get out of town, then he wished me a good evening. Sometimes, I felt we were really connected, I didn't feel this way with anybody else, but however there were also too many problems. I don't know if I give up too quickly..there was a time his profile was active while we were dating, but I didn't really care and things went well, he turned it off. But this time, I am really bothered and I feel like I have done enough. I do miss him but also feel disappointed and mad because the attitude he showed me. What do you guys think?

we are both open and straight. He doesn't lie, I am sure about that. He is a good and nice guy....You are right, I shouldn't think about what he is after...so far I am not really emotional involved...but I am a little bit afraid if I would be after sex, which is my only concern....

lost_status, would u mind sharing ur story? that might help with clearing my mind... Thanks...