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  1. Is it possible to be abused and not know about it?? Are there signs that i can look for within myself? To the OP, i'm sorry about your situation, and the pain you and your partner are going through. Judging by the way you've described you and your partners relationship, you two will get through all of this. He's taken the first steps to talk about it and seek help to deal with his pain. Your relationship sounds like it will last a lifetime. I admire it immensely.
  2. Thanks Iceman, you've been a great help with this. It really helps to talk about things... I always assume the worst, but posting it and getting peoples opinions gets my brain going, steering it down different paths instead of only the worst one.
  3. Well, i can see where you are coming from Iceman. But I have good reasons to call her horrible. That was mainly a vent. He hasn't contacted her once since he's been back. She hasn't contacted him either. They used to call eachother 2 times a week, and stay on for 1/2 to 1 hour, always while i wasn't there. Which lead to a break up. We got back together and contact lessened between them. I can't say wether or not he was terlling the truth about their contact when we were LDRing it. But right now, i know that he's fulfilling his promise.
  4. I believe what he is saying is the truth. We talked about them further today. I asked him why. He gave me a good answer. I believe him and it was mostly because of you guys, and your opinions and advice Thanks. I guess that i can't blame him that the b*tch sent so many right?
  5. He said that it was because he could look back on that part of his life. I just talked to him about it. I guess that he only asked her for one, to put in his photo album. AND the b*tch gave him 20, ones of them kissing and such. UGH she is horrible.
  6. Yes, this is what i'm so scared of. WHAT IF i am just insecure? He's so set in his ways. And he thinks that if he gives in to me, about him giving up the pitures, that he'll look like a pushover and i will be controling him in some way. Its the way that he thinks. But on the other hand, WHAT IF he is still hung up on his ex? I DO NOT want some one to settle for me because he can't have what he truly wants. I KNOW that he loves me, he loves me like crazy....... Ugh i wish that i could just come to some sort of conclusioin and stick to it.... and not change my view when things like this happen.
  7. He''s stopped MOST contact with her, because he realized that i was going to leave him because of it... Then he goes and asks her for pics? I don't get it. We are planning on spending our lives together. I can't just leave him, and three years invested over it. He's the father to my girsl. I can't leave him over this unless i'm sure that he's hung up on her. Which i'm not.
  8. I did this already When he told me about them i asked to see them and the card. When i seen the one of them kissing i flung it at him he said something and then tore it up and threw it in the garbage.
  9. Hi G. I did ask him, and he lied about them. I asked why she gave sent them to him. First he said that he mentioned that he had no more pics of her. Then after we started arguing about it, he told me that he asked her for a few. I asked him why, he said "so i could put them in my photo album, which i never look at" We've had pasat issues with her, i never approved of their friendship from the start, and we actually broke up b/c of it and he moved. We got back together and LDRed it for 4 months. He just recently moved back here. AND he told me he onlly talked to her once in those 4 monthes. As he was unpacking he told me about the pictures she sent with a birthday card, and also showed me the xmas present that her parents sent him. So that alone shows that he was lying about their contact also... I don't know. I'm just worried that he's still hung up on her. But am hoping that he isn't. So i guess that i just wanted other peoples opinions on what they would think. I sometimes i fear that i am letting my insecurities about the 2 of them get in the way and make mountians out of mole hills. Any input would be awesome. Thanks
  10. Hi all Ok... Say that your bf/gf is friends with their ex.. They had a long term serious relationship. They have limited contact. Your bf/gf asks their ex for pictures of him/her. He/She sends a whole bunch, like say 15. 1 of them kissing, and 2 others of them together arm in arm. What would you think? Why would your bf/gf ask for them in the first place? 1. Is bf/gf still hung up on the ex? and needs visual stimulant every now and then? 2. Or is the bf/gf just sentimental and wants to keep the memories of that time in his/her life?
  11. Hi everyone. I am having a hard time trusting my bf. I am so scared of being hurt and betrayed. I'm scared to death of being cheated on and looking like a fool. His actions and words prove that he loves me and wants to spend his life with me. But at the same time, he's admitted to lying to me and i've found things that he shouldn't have had , now he's asking me how to change his password for messenger. I was the one that set it up for him and he know's that i know it. I asked him why, and he told me that he didn't want someone at his old residence to sign in and get his p.word. I told him not to worry, and that it was impossible. I know he had another email account that he spoke to other ppl with. He reserved the one i made for him solely for communication with me. Now i know that if he were to install the other messaging prog. on my comp. he knows that i know he'd be chatting with his ex, and whom ever else he had on there. So now i think that he's trying to change his pword on the one i know about so he can chat with them anyway. When i told him not to worry, that the other person couldn't get into his msn, he flipped and signed out. When i asked why he wanted to change it, he said i knew you'd think i was upto something... I said "well, usually when people are being secretive, they are harbouring secrets. Secrets lead to lies... and lies lead to breakups" I hate thinking about this stuff, i hate doubting him. He freaks when i do. I just want to trust him, i want to be happy, he makes me sooo happy when i'm NOT worrying about this. I don't hide anything from him, he's seen all my contacts etc. But he's so secretive all the time. I hate it. Breaking up just isn't an option what so ever.... So does anyone have any simialr experiences, anything that they have found to help ease their fears? Thanks for takin the time to read.
  12. Hi Honey, Yes there are positives for moving, i have never been very far from home, and have always wanted to see that part of the counrty, but family is my life, and i will have no one but him there. He is going to line up a job for me, so that's not to bad, My kids really miss him, they will have alot more opporunites there also, being that where we are is pint size and we are moving to a city thats booming. I managed to straighten out his comtrol issues, he was mad that i was having people over every weekend, he gave me many excuses, but what it boiled down to, is that he was terrified that i was having so much fun and making new friends that i wouldn't want to move down there. He have worked this out. My trust issues are mainly about sex.... I'm scared that he's going to have an indescretion, due to his huge sex drive, this doesn't worry me much anymore, i have faith in him, and know that he loves me completely.... It was an issue in the beginning but not anymore. As for my age, i'm 26 he's 36. I just wish i would stop pushing him away... it's like i have no control over what i say, and am regretting it as it comes out of my mouth. Our fights could be sooo tame, if it wasn't for me. It's my fear of leaving here that is causing this, i know it.... but i just don't know what to do about it. I'm afraid that it will destroy us before we have the chance to begin again. Sherri
  13. hi everyone. I have been in a LDR with my bf for the past 2 monthes but we've been together for 2.5 years. I am planning on moving to be with him in 4 monthes. We have been fighting alot online lately. He has had insecurity, and has tried controlling me. I have had trust issues with him. Also i feel myself pushing him away. I can't stop myself, it's like one of us says something off kilter and the other gets sooo sensitive about it that a fight breaks out! The thing is, i'm scared to death of moving accross the country. I have never moved from my home town, ever . Our relationship was very rocky when we were living together due to certian issues, but we love eachother VERY much. So much that we both want to spend the rest of our lives together. Another thing, is i'm having a VERY hard time being here alone, i resent him at times for leaving me like he did. Just like he resented me for him staying in this town solely for me. I am terrified of leaving my job, home and family to move accross the country, especially since we've been fighting so much online. I have been pushing him away, and i feel like i have no control over it, i know he's been trying but damn it! How can i stop myself from pushing him away before it's too late? I know why i'm pushing him away, because i am terrified of moving there and us breaking up, all for me to come back home to no job, home etc.... But i know if i don't go i will regret it for the rest of my life.. My question is, how on earth to i stop pushing him away? I'ts like i see myself doing it but i can't stop... When i know that i can end to argument and swallow my pride, i can't! i just say something else to make it worse.... and push him further! How can i stop?
  14. Exactly! People can change. I was the same way. I made some mistakes when i was young and immature. I look back and shudder. Now i know i could NEVER do anything like that. People make mistakes, and learn from them.
  15. well, because of the 2 preggo tests... I took one again and it was negotorie.. I just figured, at the time of taking them that they were correct... I've had bad experiences with doctors in the past, and both times i turned out to be preggers, i always confirmed it from home tests.... But then again, the ONLY time i have felt a pulse in my lower abdomen is WHEN i was preggers.. So that's why i figured i'd ask
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