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About Me

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  1. I've just written a poem for my ex girlfriend. It's about her and how i miss all the things about her. For some reason i am totaly stuck for a title. Do any of you have any suggestions for a poem about missing your girlfriend?? I was going to go with a simple one like this-Missing You/Her. Btw iv'e never written poetry before except maybe when i was at primary school.
  2. Its my ex gf's bday in a couple of days. I've maintained NC for almost a month, will be a month on her bday. I do want to reconcile with her but I know NC is the best thing for me right now to heal and move on. Should I text her happy bday or should I leave it? We broke up in beginning of Jan after 6 years together because she felt like she wasn't in love with me anymore as a boyfriend. She was pushing for us to be friends and meet as friends about a month ago until I told her it was too soon. She then said she understands and that to call her whenever I like. Will me not acknowledging anything on her bday ruin any future chances (if there is any) of us reconciling?
  3. Tonight is one full year that my ex-girlfriend became my ex-girlfriend, and was no longer my partner. She left with her lover and didn't come home. I've tried all day to associate the pain of that day with this day, but I can't shake the feeling of peace, just peace.
  4. according to the LOA there is no such thing as coincidence...that universe always tries to tell or show us something almost exactly 1 year ago i gave my ex framed monochromatic photo of my face (late valentine's gift)...it was size about 10 by 12 inches ....i dont think he really like it...he joked that it was biiiigggg...it was actually the beginning of the end of our relationship anyway and there is my favorite song now...im listening to it for a couple weeks already...many many times (even few times in a row) i saw video first time last night ....in this video this guy is looking at the wall size monochromatic photo of his ex gf's face (exactly the same face shot as mine)..and he sings: " i tried to call but pride wouldnt let me dial"... i treat this stuff with eye-blink but it was a weird feeling seeing the video anyway wouldnt you have mixed feelings?
  5. My boyfriend is naturally very private and secretive. If he is writing an e-mail or talking on MSN to his friends (his computer is right beside mine), and I walk over, he'll quickly minimize the window - even though I know he's talking about nothing, and just to a guy friend or something. Anyway, a while ago after he went out for a bit, I went on his computer and found in his pictures folder that he had a nude video of his ex-girlfriend. It was a digital camera movie of her walking around her apartment naked back when they were going out. It wasn't at all sexual, but it still puzzles me if it's okay for him to have video like that of an ex-girlfriend. Also, and I may be totally petty here, but he has a photo site up on the internet of all these photos he's taken over the past 5 or 6 years. And back when he was dating her, he took all these photos of her, and they're plastered all over that section of his page. But he's never taken a single picture of me before. It makes me jealous. I think it's silly to be jealous, and I try so hard not to feel that way, but I just can't help it. Am I just feeling what any normal girlfriend feels towards a boyfriend's ex? Or am I being way too petty about things ... ?
  6. Hey, this is my 1st post but I've browsed the forums for a while now and been helped a lot by just reading other people's situations similar to mine, so thanks for that people! Onto my current situation; I have been very good friends with a girl for the last 1.5 - 2 years and as recent as 4 months ago I felt that my feelings for her had grown to more than just friends type feelings. At the time though she was in a long term relationship but about 2 months ago she split with her partner and I was there as a shoulder so to speak. During this time my feelings for her grew and hers for me did too. So we decided to give a relationship a shot. However, after 6 weeks she decided that I was not who she thought I was and split up from me. Her reasons being that she didn't think I was putting enough effort into the realtionship, which to most part is due to my shyness and general lack of confidence in this area. Anyway, the break up hurt me a little but because it was such a short relationship I felt that I didn't have the right to feel too depressed, which sounds stupid I know. Now 3 weeks on I have started to once again talk to her because she didn't want our good friendship to end. However, it seems to me that there is more going on than just friendship again because all the signs of affection for one another are still their; like prolongued stares at each other when in groups and just smiling at each other. She acts like this with me but also similarly with her long term ex when they see each other, suggesting to me she never really got over him. My question is, what is with this behaviour? is it worth me going for her again or should I continue to just move on and look elsewhere? Whats really confusing is my feelings for her change very frequently from almost being in love with her to feeling angry at just looking at her. What's up with that? Should I be worried that if I do try and get her back that I will hurt her because my feelings are unsure? Thanks for your time.
  7. My ex girlfriend (whom I'm still in love with very much) overdosed on laxatives last night. She's been taking them a lot (she has a history of anorexia and bulemia) and last night she took a ton. Does anyone know anything about laxatives? Also, her parents took her to Children's hospital last night, but she talked her way out of staying. What kind of people would not keep her, she's very skinny and I'm so worried. I don't know what to do. The only reason we're not together is because I'm going into residential treatment pretty soon. I just want her to be healthy, I don't know what to do.
  8. Goin on a date thurday.split up with my ex gf about a month ago.still love her but its another page in my life in the past.met this girl in a night club,she is drop dead gorgous!lol.goin 4 a "romantic" meal!any tips so i dont mess up?i really like this girl and dont want to make a breast of meself!
  9. He's 23, I'm 29. It's not a huge gap. He's pretty mature for 23. But I am pretty mature for 29. I worry that he's not ready for a full on committed relationship. Sometimes I feel like I am the only adult in our relationship, and it's not fair to ask more of him than he can give. I love him very much. I love his youthfulness. I love his heart. I wonder if that's enough. We've been together 6 months. I have some separate issues with trust and being able to rely on people. I am working on them. I can try to respect his need to move very slow. Sometimes I think he's in my life to teach me to move a bit slower. This is the best relationship I have ever been in so I get excited and want to be together all the time. I get anxious when I haven't seen him a couple of days. I also get upset when he sees his ex-girlfriend.( which happens every couple of months) He isn't cheating on me. It makes me feels uncomfoortable though. I guess taking it day by day is what I need to do. Does anyone have experience with dating a young, yet very wonderful man?
  10. HE did it. On the moxt low points in our relationship he would contact his ex girlfriends I'm not sure why but I always found out. And Of course we aren't together be he did it again. but the one that was before me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to die. I was always told that he never wanted her she just would not let go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why would he do this???????????????????????????????????????????????????
  11. Well, I recently caught my Husband sending provocative email messages over myspace, His ex was letting him know she was moving to a new address & he was saying back to her, whatever you've just found someone who's in love with your hot vagina!........WELL, I dunno what to say or how to react to this, my husband is a pretty forward guy & I have noticed they do tend to talk dirty to eachother sometimes over email, I've questioned him before about them sending provocative texts, that stopped, he felt bad, but now they are doing it here, where I can't get to see. I'm trying to stay calm about this, please help me.
  12. Its been 11 months since my ex boyfriend left me for his ex girlfriend...it still hurts like it happened yesterday. We don't speak on the telephone but we email each other here and there. He's made it clear that its over because he doesn't call or even speak of anything that would trigger a conversation about us. The thing is when we was together I took care of him paid all the bill and things for 2 years because he didn't have a job and made it perfectly clear that he didn't want a job. Now since we've been apart he has a job and has been basically takin care of his new girl buyin her expensive gifts and things in this nature and its very hurtful. Is it wrong for me to wish he lost his freekin job and things like that. For some reason I can't let go and I've tried sooo many things. I just wanna stop lovin him cause its doing nothin but hurtin me more. How do I let go of all these feelings I have for him and live my life like he is doing.
  13. hi =) i'm just don't know what to do. almost all of my friends don't like my boyfriend. most of them have the impression of him as a "player". i admit, he may have the tendency to go for other girls. This was way back in highschool. I want to give him a chance. He asked me if he could just prove himself. He told me once that he had changed since his previous girlfriend cheated on him. I don't know how to tell my friends that we're together now. All this time, they've been telling me not to consider going out with him, that he will just play me like every other girls he had been with. I trust him and want my friends to at least forget about the past and try to give him a chance. please help. i really don't know what to do
  14. well my ex and I decided to try to get back together. right now we are just talking and hanging out and seeing how things go. we were together for a year and have been broken up now for a month and a half. towards the middle and end of our relationship he lied to me alot about talking to other girls including his ex girlfriend, and since we've been broken up hes lied to me about hanging out with other girls and lied to me about hanging out with his ex gf and about talking to other girls. i went through his phone and found lots of calls and text messages from a few girls, including his ex. last week we had a long talk and i made him feel bad and even cry because of all the times hes hurt me. he said that he still wants to try to make things work between us but hes scared that hes gonna hurt me again. well the past few days we've hung out every day and things have been going really good. the only thing that bothers me is that when we hang out his phone is nowhere around, like he doesnt want me to look at it again because hes hiding something or he doesnt want me to hear it ring and ask him who's calling and find out its some girl or something. then tonight im going out with some friends to some parties on campus and normally he would get kind of jealous but when i told him he didnt really say much which surprised me. then he didnt really want to talk and told me to call him later whenever i could. so i call him like 2 hours later and he doesnt answer. so i get a text message from him 5 mins later that says "im at the high school volleyball game, ill call you when i get home." ok right then my stomach just sank. first off hes 21 years old going on 22. hes been out of high school for 3 years and doesnt even talk to anyone in high school that i know of. the whole time we were together he has never mentioned or wanted to go to a high school game. his friends never go to the games either. i cant think of any guys that have been out of high school that long and go to a game just to go and watch. so WHY would he be at that game unless he went with a girl or hes there to see a girl?? also, he didnt answer his phone when i called like he was trying to hide something, instead he texted me. i just cant think of any other reason why he would be there and i dont know whether i should be suspicious or not? hes lied to me so many times and done so many * * * *ty things i just dont know what to think. should i give up on this guy?
  15. Ok first off I'm a lesbian, So I still love my girlfriend its been ohh about a week now since we broke up and I still love her I can't get her out of my mind I think about her 24/7.. I can't help it... We dated for 6 days and I fell really fast for her like I did with no other person, And I wrote her a note telling her I still love her ect... But I found out she * * * *ed someone over the internet the first day they met, and she likes someone new.. And pulled me asside one day and sayed "I care about you, but I like someone else now" I felt really sad and so I just smiled and act like I was happy for her but inside i just wanted to brake down crying =[... I wanna get over her but I just can't theres a part of me that still loves her. And you know how people say lission to you heart becasue you mind plays games with you and I am lissioning to my heart.. So how do I get over her? Its hard
  16. The incident I'm describing isn't in it self the reason I'm contemplaiting suicide, but it knocked me back into the reality - that life is a battle I can't survive. Today, as I was playing football one guy took me as his target. Everytime I would do a goal or touch the ball he would attack me from behind throwing me to the ground, tackle me or wrestle with me. The guy was younger, but bigger, muscular and had been pretty much a street fighter and a bad boy for his whole life. I fought back and could shake him off of me and avoid greater damage most of the time, and people would verbally complain to him about distrupting the game and being an idiot, but no-one did anything to actually help me. At the last minutes of the game he once again attacked me, but I got a stranglehold of him, and we rolled over to the ground this time in a more even fight and I said to him I'd let go if he'd let go and as he complied I thought I had made it. How very wrong was I again. After they lost the game and I was already walking away, he ran up from behind and choked me. People yelled at him and told him to let go but he didn't, I said he wasn't being very courageous for starting the fight in such an uneven way. This provocated him more and to show his superiority he told I should take a stranglehold of him and see if I could do any better. I declined and he grabbed me again, so it became obvious I had to fight myself out of the situation and grabbed him with a fairbairn and sykes defendo choke I had learned from a self-defence manual, thinking I could win him. My psychological death and absolute shame resulted as he shook me off, headbutted my chest and tossed me to the ground. It was only then, having totally beaten me that he would stop and leave me alone. In my life, I have had to deal alot with violent people trying to dominate me. I am short and skinny, making me an easy target. I used to think that it didn't matter, as long as I wouldn't play basketball, that I would not have to be large and muscular to have a good life, but boy was I wrong. I now totally understand women's desire for a tall dominant man, for life really is about survival of the fittest. Humans are nothing more than hairless apes, with the same impulses as other animals and one can't simply trust that the modern civilized society would stop the constant fighting and strive for supremacy among males. I foolishly thought that as long as I was assertive and stood up for myself I'd be as worthy as anyone else, and that my ex-girlfriend was being irrational with her feelings of not being feminine with a smaller guy. Afterall, nowadays we have guns and other tools of self-defence, and specific systems such as krav-maga that would beat brute force and provide security for everyone. The reality however, is that one can't defend against unarmed attackers with weapons or effective fighting moves such as strikes to the groin and is considered a criminal in the society, but attacking someone innocent is considered masculine and honorable if fatal damage is not inflicted and no weapons are used. I have now lost all my remaining self-respect, self-esteem and will to live. I foolishly thought that I could defend myself against apes like him, but I can't. I am unable, unfit and have failed as a life form. I can no-longer see my therapist as he moved away to work in a different city and am ready to give it all up. My illusionary sense of control over my body has been lost and I have been defiled and humiliated. No use fighting anymore and I'm ready to end my existence as soon as I get my gun licence. I don't even know why I wrote this, it's probably that I have some kind irrational hope in my subconscious and think that some answer will turn me into a self confident fighting machine, somehow make the fact that I lost disappear and change the genetic triggering for women to swoon over powerful, tall, dominant fighting men.
  17. To cut a long story short, i was (still am) madly in love with me ex gf.however i went out lst nite and met this beautifull girl and got on really well with her.my ex gf doesnt spk 2 me no more and i just wonda if its rite to get with some 1 new even tho i still and think always will have feelings with my ex.
  18. Basically im madly in love with my ex girlfriend still. we broke up dew 2 arguing after being with each other for year and half. Her mum has made it more difficult by telling her not to speak to me. Even trying setting her up with another fella.whenever we argued her mum would always get involved.it was like going out with both of them!I dnt no wat 2 do.she never answers my calls.i know she still has feelings for me as we were so gr8 togerther.then few weeks arguin she has shut up shop. Any help will be appreciated.
  19. Hi everyone, I don't really want to go over my details of what happened in my relationship with my ex gf but if you are interested you can see it in my other posts. Anyways it hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday! I have been NC for 9 days and then I get a text from her sister asking how I'm doing. It was weird because why would her sister show interest after we broke up. I know it was proably her because I have also been receiving blocked phone calls lately. So I replied that I'm doing great. I text her sister again yesterday asking her if girls ever get there feelings back? she replied that it is possible and that right now the best thing for me to do is let my ex gf have space or else I'll just push her away and in a couple of months you never know what could happen. I then replied back stating how I feel like I'm just on the back burner and that it feels like she just wants to date other guys and see what else is out there. She replied back "well your not on the back burner because she is certain of her decision. Also if you don't move on your just hurting yourself". Thats when it hit me. I know my ex is proably sitting right next to her sister and telling her what to type. I finally have realized that she is not coming back and have almost started to hate her. I feel like why should I have to put up with her crap when all I have done is treated her like gold. I treated her better than anybody else around me and she just took it for granted. I feel like I hate her now and don't want her in my life. She just wants to go have fun with other guys (even though she never came out and said that). Why else would she go so cold after 6 years. Well she can go out there and have all the fun she wants because no one will treat her like I treated her, they are just gonna use her and take off. If she tries coming back after dating anyone else, she can take a hike because I'm not a doormat that she can step on whenever she wants. For everyone thats been dumped, you have to open your eyes and see the big picture. They dumped you for a reason, not just because they are "confused" or "need space". They dumped you because they don't want you in there life anymore and see someone else they are interested in. You just got traded in my friend for a newer model. Everyone keeps telling her that I'm a good guy, even her dad and sister called me after we broke up and told me that they love me and still want me to come around the house and stuff. They know she is making a mistake and she even said that she is gonna regret it later. All well its her loss. I'm not going to communicate with her in anyway, i have deleted her contacts in my AIM and phone. She is dead to me.
  20. I met a girl this weekend who told me she only dates Geminis, Aries, and Pisces because they are the most compatible sign to her. She told me that as a Virgo we would be incompatible. This is taking it too far when you won't date someone based on their sign. I've also met people who put some type of special significance in it if they start dating someone and he just *happens* to be a compatible sign. Like my ex gf was telling me about this new guy she was seeing - 'ooh he's a Scorpio!' she says, 'he's like my perfect match'. I was like, 'who cares?'. Personally, I have a little bit of an interest in astrology, I think a lot of the personality types of the various signs are pretty accurate, at least from personal experience. Do you believe in this? Have you ever had a successful relationship with someone whom you were not supposed to be compatible with astrologically?
  21. Ok, here it goes. My husband who is 26 has been chatting with an ex girlfriend he dated in high school on myspace, I came into the room while he was talking to her & I noticed she had asked him if I knew about her, he replied "yes, but not about you know what""......so I confronted him about what he had said, he denied there was anything i should know about & not to worry, they were just friends (she is also married), she then mentioned that her mother still hated him, I also questioned him about this, he shrugged it off, saying that they used to get into lots of trouble in school etc,etc.......I refused to accept this. I've since found out, that he has a son with her, she had to give him up for adoption as soon as he was born in 1997 (she was only 17)......I've tried to ask him, or should I say i've said to him that I think his ex & him are hiding something from me & I think I have the right to know what's going on cause i'm his wife. He's told me it will never be discussed, he will never tell me & is making out that nothing has happened. His family & his ex girlfriend are catholics & i'm thinking it's a super big family secret. He's told me that what's happened in his past stays there & he doesn't want to bring anything up as it's not going to affect our relationship and I don't need to know. I feel so much for his ex having to give her baby up, I feel for him too, it must be a terrible burden, I just wish I could be there for the both of them. Please help me, how should I handle this. My husband is very private & doesn't want to discuss anything in his past. I feel things would be so much easier for him if he could be more honest with me. He's been so used to having his own private life, I guess he's still getting used to having to share things with a wife. I don't think he will ever tell me about his son, I know he asks his ex about him & how he is......I wish I could be there for him, but he wont let me. Please help me what should I do?
  22. I don't know if this is the right place to post, but I had a dream of my ex-girlfriend. I dreamt she came over to my apartment, and there a bunch of hickeys on her neck she was not even hiding. I told her off, and told her to get the hell out. "go back to Mark," I said. From there I found myself driving to her workplace to confront her boss, the man she slept with. I have never seen him in real life, so in my dream, I made it my purpose to go and curse him, and tell them both how that that they are cheap and manipulative. When I arrived, the place was empty, they had gone for the day. I continued to walk in my dream, when I found my ex-girl crying in the car I bought her. In reality, I put the down payment on the car. She was crying, and saw me pass. I turned away, as it wasn't her I cared to see. Later in the dream, I was in a line waiting for I don't know what. There she was with him. My mind made up the guy, I know, but he was ugly, and looking like a real low life. When I saw them both together, I walked up to them, and said "hi." It turned out I didn't tell anyone off, as the guy was not anywhere near as good looking, charming, or grand as I had imagined him to be. I didn't shake hands, and I only looked at her and thought, "you can keep it all, and him." I don't know what the dream means, but I woke up so angry this morning. She calls and comes over. When she does, she tells me about how things aren't going well for her. I don't know what to think except "you chose that." She is reaping what she sowed, obviously. Her boss is now piling more work on to her. Oh well. What did the dream mean, and why was I so angry? I know she misses me, I know she has regret, I know she's still attracted to me. I know these things. Even though I'm not ready for a relationship, I have been getting a lot of female attention, and I think to myself "why go with anything from someone who hurt me?" feeling frustrated, and I hated my dream.
  23. Well the back story is I dont like my boyfriends ex being around...But this is a girl that he wasnt that serious with, they actually only dated for a few months if that! Honestly i find this strange because his ex girlfriend of 4 years I talk to every once in a while, and I honestly dont care if he talks to her?? Why is that? I have come down to a few conclusions, which for some strange reason I have never felt inferior to a person in my life, but for some reason I fear him leaving me for her... Anyways when we were "dating" he was still into her, and would ask her to be his girlfriend, and she said no. Well our relationship started to take off...she went on the back burner so to speak. Well long story short, that hurt, cause I at that point was very much in love with him, and he was so so. Anyways over the past year everytime she calls I have a hissy fit, if you will. And he feels I am over reacting to it..Which in a way I feel I am as well. Doesnt say much for our relationship if I feel I cant trust him. I posted up that he lied about speaking with her once. Which I forgave, and it was kinda my fault because he felt he couldnt come to me because again he feels I would over react. Well to make a long story short, he added her as a friend, on his myspace account, but put her as the top 8, and he just said that it showed up there??? UMMMM BS...although anything is possible right! but what kinda bothers is me, is he would have her as a friend even if it bothered me. I honestly do not want to control him in anyway...that is the last thing on my mind...Why is it only one girl I have problem with...I do trust him...but this one girl I want gone out of his life. Anyways I feel its just best to drop the whole "ex girlfriend annoyance routine" and just leave it alone...but how do I stop it, any advice would be good... Honestly I feel like someone should just slap me accross the face... Do you guys feel I am over reacting ? In a way I kinda feel like I am as well...I dont know how to handle this. Help!!
  24. Hi, my name is grace. i need some advice. i love my boyfriend so much it hurts, i have never been in love before and am amazed at its power. he can be so loving, he can be so generous and everyone thinks he is wonderful. unforyunately, he has another side which he has warned me about. He hit his ex girlfriend, he controlled her and manipulated her and he was upfront about all this. i am an intelligent girl, i should have seen this and left him but i love him. i pissed him off the other day and he went to hiot me but stopped himself, instead he dragged me 10 feet on the floor by my hair. i could be pregnant as we are trying for a baby. this upset me so much i was hysterical, he knows that my mum used to hit me and he knows that all i want from him is security and stability. then yesterday, a week after the dragging, we were having an argument in the car and i said i didnt think it was going to work out between us. i didnt mean it, i didnt even think too much about it before i sais it because i so deaperately want it to work. As soon as i had said it he hit me in the head, he hit me so hard and kept on hittion in the same place. i put my arms up when i realised he wasnt stopping as i could feel my brain hitting the sides of my head it was awful. i begged him to stop, i kept saying "i love you, why are you doing this, please stop" over and over. He really hurt my head and my arm. I got back, lay on the bed and cried. i cried bacause i had an awful headache, my arm hurt, i love him and he has just destroyed ll the security i felt with him., i felt so protected before, he said if anyone ever hurt me he would kill them so how could he hurt me? i said all this to him, i looked into his eyes and i cried. he sat in silence looking back at me. i cried so much my eyes hurt. i held his hand and kept asking why. he apologised to me, he said it wouldnt happen again, he said he didnt want to do it, its just that i stressed him out. he said he hit me so many times because id made hom hit me once and that pissed him off even more. im still here, hoping he will change but in my heart of hearts i dont think he will. i think he will hit me again but i dont want to believe it because i love him soooooooo much. i really really do. what do i do? i want to live with him and love him forever but an=m i being really dissillusioned in thinking that he may change? help.
  25. what is the reason why ex GF change theyre haircut after a breakup?
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