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About Me

  1. My ex-girlfriend and I broke up three months ago after five and the half years of relationship. We are both in our forties. She said she doesn't love me anymore and that she doesn’t have any feelings for me for a longer period of time. Our relationship wasn’t perfect, but there were a lot of beautiful moments as well. We share a lot of happy and nice memories. She had a lot of issues and I was always there for her to help her and support her, and moreover to love her in that moments. At the end of the relationship, I had issues and instead of getting the same support from her, she found another guy and dumped me. She forced me to move out from our mutual apartment. During this last three months, those beautiful moments we had were all over my mind, more or less every day, and I feel regret that she has left me. But I managed to move on and worked a lot to improve myself and I made a progress. But at the same time I kept calling her to come and visit me in my new apartment. And then, last Friday she came to my apartment, we had a good time and we had sex. She stayed overnight. Yesterday she came again and we had a really good and passionate sex. But all the time she was telling me that she is satisfied with the new guy and that she is going to stay in the new relationship. When I asked her for the reason, she said that he treats her good, he is funny and that she is in a way taking advantage of him (something like he is paying for all the food). When I told her that I’m seeing someone else too, she started to cry and she said that she likes me the way I am now and that she feels regret I was not like that before when we were together. I told her that she can leave him and that we can try something again, but she categorically refused that. She said that she wants to be with him and maybe one day in the future, who knows, we are going to be together again, but not now. I'm also sure that she came to me and cheated on him, because she doesn't care about him at all. But she said that is not the truth and that she fell in love with him. I was quite fine, but now I feel distressed almost like three months ago. So this just brought me harm. So why did she come to be with me? Does she really know what she wants? Who does she love?
  2. Hi, About a month ago I asked for advice on the best way to get an ex girlfriend back. A couple of weeks ago I then asked for some more advice in regards to blocking my ex. This will be the last bit of advice I ask for. If you are interested you can read back on my 2 previous posts. I'm going to summarize. Basically, me and my ex broke up at the end of January. We spoke quite a bit and near the end of February I asked her to rekindle things which she rejected. Near the end of March I told her that It would be best if I were to block her on social media so I could get over her which she agreed. It's been just over a month and I have unblocked her because I felt a little better about the situation and I felt like seeing her with someone else wouldn't faze me. She's not currently seeing someone else. A small part of me would still like to rekindle things. I know I have gotten a lot of advice which mostly advised to keep her out of my life. I'm looking to see if anyone has some advice in relation to starting a conversation about starting a new relationship. I understand people will advise against this but I guess I'm looking for someone with advice on how to try to fix things with this girl. I really do love her and I haven't stopped. We were together for nearly 2 years and I know she had strong feelings for me.
  3. Hi all this is my very first post having just signed up, I felt the need to find a nice friendly forum where I hope to get things off my chest and receive some nice friendly advice as I dont have many people in my life. Here goes..... I was with my ex girlfriend for 12 years and we broke up 6 months ago.. It was my decision to end the relationship the reasons for doing it were because I felt we had become more friends than partners.. My partner was 17 years older than me when we met I was 21 and she was 37. We had many great years together but towards the last couple of years I started to feel that the age difference was becoming a problem as I looked at others my age getting married, having children, buying houses together and so on, which in turn made me think as I couldn't have these things with my ex girlfriend due to life circumstances etc. My mental health isn't great but I'm not suicidal.I feel it's the circumstances in which I'm speaking has made me a little unhappy in my head. I have been to councillors and had chats ect and I'm on a small dose of antidepressants. So fast forward 6 months I have found a new girl I have been with for 6 weeks, she is my age with the same goals and needs in life. We get on really well and she spoils me rotten! But here's the crazy problem I keep feeling like I miss my ex (absolutely crazy!) I get a huge amount of guilt how I have hurt her and that she didn't do anything to deserve it. I feel like my mind is playing tricks on me showing me some good times in my mind but not the times where I felt so lonely and unhappy. I feel silly for having to come here for help but as I'm 33 years old maybe I just need guidance as I haven't been through anything like this before? Just wish my mind would agree with me that it was the right thing to do and I have now been given the opportunity for new beginnings with a lovely girl! Thank you for taking the time to read this and any advice big or small is greatly received. Stay safe guys
  4. I don't know where to start. My ex-girlfriend left me a year ago after being together for 1 year. I've known her for almost 3 years though. Um and it's just been terrible. She just one day decided that she wasn't ready to be in a relationship anymore with me and texted me "I don't love you anymore and I'm breaking up with you." Before she sent this text, we hadn't seen each other for 2 weeks, I thought she needed a break so I let her just text me and not see each other. She was stressed with her school. Later, I found out she was distancing herself from me so it would be easier to leave me. She still was texting me "I love you" every night. She lied about her love for me. Like she broke up with me 1 month before our 1 year anniversary through text. She promised she wouldn't ever leave me. I still remember her looking me in my eyes and making out with my passionately when she told me. She betrayed me. It's been several months since she left and it's been severely ing with my head. Her name is common and appears everywhere and triggers my ptsd. I loved her and she loved me completely. I don't know what happened, she just said she wasn't ready for a relationship and wouldn't give me a 2nd chance even when she was ready for one. I've tried so hard but she just won't budge to start over. I ing had my 21st birthday with her and her brother at some ty restaurant for God's sake. She gave me a water bottle and ing chocolates and I still had hope for her. All the money I spent on her gifts were always pricey and she never gave anything good in return. She's a virgin and I was too and she even promised to have sex in a year and lied about that too. I ing hate her selfishness and carelessness so much but she's still somewhat beautiful and attractive god damn it. I'm having trouble with her suddenly leaving. I can't sleep, I'm constantly having ptsd flashbacks of the places we went to, the places we made out and touched each other, the time she told me she loved me and kissed me passionately. Sometimes I almost cry in public remembering the places and things we did together. We were so close to one another that we finished our sentences, spoke and wrote basically the same way; like I really don't understand why she left all of sudden. She wasn't cheating, I know that but I don't know. She was the love of my life and I've told her many times. I told her to never lie about her love to me and she did. I sometimes have nightmares about the good times we had and can't believe she's gone when I wake up in morning. I had a picture of her framed in my room of us together and I gave her one too. We were so close to each other that we would just say one word or give a look and knew exactly what eachother meant. Like I don't know what I did to be so ireedmable to her. This was a girl I thought about marrying at one point and I've told her. I think she really just wants to play around with other guys because once I told her I'm committed to her, she was shocked that someone would want to be with her in that way. I remember when we were friends, we would do many of the same things as we did when we were in a relationship just with mutual commitment. Now she's doing that "friend" thing with someone else since I last texted her this month. Like I ing hate her so much but love her at times. My mind is gone. I miss kissing her, I miss biting her body, I miss caressing her big butt and boobs. I miss her big brown eyes and caressing her hips into my hips. I miss talking to her about daily life. I miss her sitting on my lap and kissing me. I just miss her so much. I thought she knew she meant everything to me. Now I'm just depressed and have PTSD about it. I try so hard to forget her but I can't. It's constantly decaying my mind. I haven't felt love or attraction since she left me. I've been passionless and emotionally detached from most things. I can't believe she did what she did. I used to walk miles just to go see her everyday and walk her home safely. It s with me a lot that she never appreciated me enough to give me a 2nd chance. I don't think I'll ever be able to trust or love another person again. I feel mental pain constantly. People keep telling me "It's just a matter of time, move on" but I don't know if that'll solve anything. She was a special girl and one in million type. I lost her. I'm haunted by what she did and I'm constantly living in hell from the memories. I sometimes wake up at night and cry about the memories. I've told her all of this and she still won't give me a 2nd chance because "I don't think I can regain those feelings for you and I'm already kinda seeing someone else". I hate her stubbornness. She planned the breakup and I hate that she doesn't want to work with me after everything I've done for her. I hate her her ing lying god damn it. I'm shedding tears as I write this. I don't know what to do at this point I'm 23 and alone with no one to talk to. I thought she was the one. I don't know anything anymore. She just texted me one day and left. She's so cold-hearted. I just want the pain to go away already, it sometimes hurts my head and makes my teary eyes go dry. I'm not happy. Sometimes I wish I never experienced love because it's not worth the pain honestly. I don't feel any better or stronger. She just left out of the blue no 2nd chances. I miss my girlfriend. I hope she comes back and doesn't get hurt, I really do. Please help me, I suffer with this almost everyday and I don't what to do
  5. We talk here and there, nothing major, a text convo or phone call every month or so. Talked to her last time off, I knew she had gone to rehab, a while back. She went to a live in rehab center down in Fl for her alcoholism, got sober on November 26,2018 and has remained so ever scince. I’m as proud of her as I can be. Just wish it would’ve happened while we were together, if so we may have had a different ending.
  6. Ok, so my ex gf told me a week ago she got a new boy friend. I told her thats nice, and its good she found someone. But something that confuses me is her actions. Like, today at school during band we watched a concert choir from a college in Ohio, this state. Well, she started flirting with me. Rubbing her leg against mine and caressing my hand. I mean, I dont really wanna publicly go back out with her but this is just too confusing. Any comments?
  7. i have posted here a few times about my ex gf, she cheated on me with another guy. i guess what pissed me off the most is, that she never told me she liked the other guy, I had to find out about it from my best friend cuz she didn't have the guts to tell me herself.
  8. What are people's views on luck/bad luck, do you believe there is such a thing? I think I am cursed or something... In the past week so many bad things have happened and just when things are looking up something else happens... Me and gf split up, My mum has to go into hospital and get an operation, I get stomach bug, I injure my back, My (ex)gf's parents say she cant go on holiday with me, I loose getting a place on a uni course, My (ex)gf says she won't go on our holiday, My few options of other people to go on holiday can't... I am surprisingly upbeat but I feel astho I am going crazy and this isn't real... Interestingly on sunday a girl I know dropped a necklace, I picked it up and held onto it for her. I go to give her it back and she says she doesn't want it back as it brought her lots of bad luck. Even though I don't really believe in luck I destroyed the necklace last night...
  9. I know this might sound weird, and a little crazy, but I really like to know a lot about my boyfriends past relationships. I want to know about the ex girlfriends, what were they like, how serious was the relationship, what ended it, good terms bad terms, do they still talk. Usually in a conversation where these questions are answered, you can learn a lot about the guy (or girl). It brings up other things about those relationships, and overall can lead to good conversation, and a relaxing feeling of open communication, understanding, and a 'we have no secrets from eachother' vibe. (even if you do have secrets, it feels like you don't) Am I the only one who feels this way? Do you guys prefer to keep old relationships completely confidential, a danger zone? Does it comfort you or make you edgy to have knowlage about the past relationships?
  10. I've been thinking lately how i still hope that my ex gf might want to reconcile someday. What am I thinking? She broke up with me about 4-5 weeks ago, and went directly to another man. She has not even shown a bit of remorse, and she only contacted me just to get some of her things out of my house. So basically, she has moved on so why the heck do I have hope? Has anyone else been in a situation where your ex doesn't want anything to do with you(and was seeing someone else), and out of the blue they call you back maybe 3-4 months down the road? I doubt it. But if so, please share (See, I still have a slight hope - what an idiot i am)
  11. Why is my ex girlfriend manipulating me, i did not do any thing to her, she treats me really bad and she still asks me for favors. She calls and leaves a messages of her crying and i dont buy it because the 1st time i did and i got hurt worse. So why?
  12. I'm not sure if this is where I should post this but I was just wondering whether I should see my ex-girlfriend before I leave for college? I talked to her best friend for advice and to see if it is a good or a bad idea but her friend said that she's "weird on the subject" (subject is seeing me). I honestly don't know what's going on between us at the moment considering I think she still likes me a little but at other times, it seems like she hates me. Anyone have any suggestions?
  13. I should have seen the writing on the wall, but my ex gf called me on a tuesday to end things, and I saw her out holding hands with another guy on a thursday. I even found out that she spent the weekend with him that same weekend!!!! Obviously, she already had him waitng for her. Anyway, it's been about four weeks, and i've seen them out a few times since then. But I didn't say a word to either of them, and i was very nice to my mutual friends of my ex when i saw them out the same night. In other words, i was acting very cool, and i noticed how her new man was always looking over at me - I could tell he was not comfortable. Anyway, I've been doing NC, and have been doing good, but I feel like writing her a letter to tell her how awful she was to do this, etc. and just tell her how i feel. Is this a bad idea?
  14. Heres the shortened version of a long story. My ex gf and I were together for approx. 5 1/2 yrs. and we have a son who is now 14 months old. We have been separated for about a year and now I want her back. 2 months prior to this she had asked me to get back w/ her but I refused, and now she is living with another guy that she has been seeing for about a month or so. We both love and care for each other and she has said that we will be together but, just give it time. What does she mean by this? She says that she does NOT love this other guy but I feel that she does. Is she just waiting for things to go wrong with her relationship with this new guy before she comes back or what? I think about her every day and she says she does the same. We both agree that we should be together but she tells me to "give it time". I have tried the NC thing but its so hard. Should I persue this or just wait for her to come to me? We see each other a few times a week whenever I pick up my son or when she drops him off. I really feel in my heart that we will be a family again. Someone told me "if its meant to be, then it will happen". Any suggestions would be appreciated.
  15. This has been an interesting week-end to say the least..... I recently posted my story in the "Ex Girlfriend/Boyfriend Forum". link removed "Ex cheated on and left me for out her league friend". I hope I acted in the right way. I went to meet my friends at the Pub/Nightclub on Friday night that we usually attend. Upon pulling in the parking lot, I noticed a Man and Woman about to cross in front of me so I waited to let them. Well they slowly did. Low and Behold it was my Ex and the guy she cheated on and left me for. They took about 15+ seconds to cross in front. While crossing she looked at me then looked at him and laughed. So I blew the horn...Pissed her off (figured I'd get my laugh). They left and so I went inside and met my friends. Well 20 minutes later, Her, her boyfriend and all their Friends from work walked in. They walked past my friends and I with their noses in the air and stood about 10 feet away and stared at me and were talking laughing. My Ex and her new man came and went 3 more times in 2 hours and every time, they pretty much brushed me when they walked by yet looked away, her not once saying "Hi". I was mad at first but decided I was there for a good time. The last time they left, I said to my friends while laughing "Thank You Lord". Her friends stayed and never got more then 10-15 feet from My friends and I. As the night went on, I started talking to a nice, pretty girl and was getting to know her. About 30 minutes in- my Ex's girlfriends started asking if I had a couple cigarettes and a lighter. Being nice I gave them and they walked away. About an hour into the conversation with my new prospective girl, one of my ex's friends approached me again, and started "interigating me". She asked if I knew who she was. I acted like I never saw her before. She told me who she was and asked how I was doing (Guess I was supposed to be depressed/mad-I dunno). I told her this is the best I've felt in 4 years. That there are a lot of nice girls out tonight. She went on talking about how my Ex never meant to hurt me and still thinks the world of me, yet she is extremely happy with her new man. I told her great, better him that has to deal with her then me. She asked a thousand questions from If and who I was dating, If I liked the girl, to how long I've been attending this bar to what I thought of my ex…I was determined to stay in a very good mood and basically told her that I tried to be my Ex's friend but my ex never did her part. I told her I was disappointed how the ex cheated on and left me and waited till X-MAS to tell the truth. I told her I heard my ex ran her mouth about me and that all I now want is my stuff back. I told her I was dating a nice girl off and on and that I love how my life is going. Told her I was going after my dreams. She kept repeating "your ex still thinks the world of you and never said a bad thing about you, she hasn't talked to you because she is trying to move on-she's extremely happy". I told her that was funny she only talks nice of me, because the last time I saw her family, they snubbed me like I was garbage. She didn't say much to that and went back to her group. I had a good time regrouping with my prospective girl and ignored them the rest of the night, yet I could feel their beady eyes burning a hole though my back. Nothing happened with the prospective girl, I simply enjoyed talking to her and I expressed how I hoped to see her next weekend. I left at closing time. So, I went to the same bar again (my hang out) last night and met my friend. We were there for about 20 minutes when my Ex's new B/F and about 6 of his friends walked in. It has been 3 months since I have seen my Ex and the 2nd time in my life to see him so that is either ironic or planned. They looked at me and sat about 15 feet away and kept looking my way. I decided to ignore them and continued talking and laughing to the cute little girl sitting next to me. The night went on and my friend eventually left. Showing I wasn't scared or bothered with them, I stayed about 30 minutes longer and walked out. When I got in my truck, they just "happened" to walk out of the bar and were parked 3 spaces from me. They were looking at me and laughing. Being the better person, I left and unintentionally spun snow their way. The thing is that my ex knows that I am strong and quick. She has witnessed me break many a bar fight up. She knows that I will not fight unless it is in defense of someone (woman mostly) needing help. Her new man is a feminine man to put it "nice". I think he knew I was going to be there and brought his back up and was going to try something last night. To be honest my Ex is not worth either my time or energy after dealing with 3 months of lies. I waited for her friendship and have moved on and now she all of a sudden pops back in. After seeing what she cheated on and left me for, I now laugh. Good Riddence. So what do you think of my Ex's friends questioning me and staring at me. What do you think about her new B/F showing up at the bar the next night? Did I tell her friend the right things?
  16. My gf of 2+ years dumped me ~2 months ago. We had been having a lot of problems, so it wasn't a shock. We spoke for a few weeks, but then I went NC and have not initiated contact in 1 month. Well, she started seeing this new guy right away. They've been spending a lot of time together...already met each other's parents etc. During this time, she continued to send emails/talk about how hard it was to break-up, how much I meant to her, but that it just wasn't working right now. However, she made a point to talk about the new guy...not sexually, just that they had done this, or gone out with so-and-so, and that things were going well. It seemed as though she was kind of flaunting him, although not blatantly; mainly, she was telling me about him like a friend would. Since NC, she has emailed me ~6 times, mainly about light stuff. I have responded, but in non-emotional language. She has not talked about the new guy since NC (although, I assume they are still together). My question is why would she seemingly go out of her way to talk about him to me? I mean, if I were in her shoes, I would have had more respect for her, and kept it to myself (unless she asked). I guess you could argue either way: either she is trying to make me jealous (which I doubt, since it has been NC for a month and she has not talked about getting back together), or she is really just talking to me like a friend. Any ideas?
  17. just yesterday my ex-girlfriend (visting from another state) came over to my house. we had a long distance relationship before, that only lasted a few months, - she visited me a year and a half ago, then she stopped talking to me and just broke it off (without closure). the only reason i agreed to her coming back over to my house was to tell her face-to-face how i felt when she ended it. and i did. but unexpectedly, two nights ago - we had a conversation about our relationship, and it seriously felt like we got back together.. we were intimate but then the following day, we didnt speak of the conversation or acted like a couple. i didnt want to bring it up because i wasnt sure how she felt today and whether she still feels like she did that night. we drove down to the shore and throughout the whole day i was quiet because i didnt know what to do. i didnt know how to act, and she noticed it. she asked me what was wrong and i kept telling her nothing. then suddenly she receives a message from a friend in philadelphia she hasnt seen in 2 years, and tells me she wants to go visit them and leave early. originally she was suppose to stay 3 days but she wanted to leave early. i was upset, but i tried my best not to show it off. she noticed but i told her i was alright. throughout the ride back, all i wanted to do was tell her that i have feelings for her again, but i couldnt. and she lives so far away. and the thing is, she has ovarian cancer and she is emotionally unstable from work, friends and all of that. so i was depressed. when we got back, she got her things, and we hugged goodbye. even though i really really wanted to kiss her, or tell her how i feel. but i couldn't. and then i asked her if i would ever see her again, and she said "possibly" or "maybe". i was heartbroken. i didnt want her to go and i wanted to see her again. but she left.. now i dont know what to do. she's still in the state, she's going to new york today or tomorrow and im not too far away from there. she goes back home on the weekend. what should i do?
  18. Me and my now ex-girlfriend broke up back in June. I have tried to be friends with her, but that doesn't come easy. Though I don't want her back, its still painful to talk to her frequently, so I've spoken to her only 3 or 4 times since then. I was close friends with her before we dated, and I've been making an effort to at least be a distant friend to her now. She had a guy she dated about a year before me that was a real jerk. He leeched off her, cheated on her, and treated her very poorly. She tried to leave him several times, but he always conned her into taking him back. I believe at the end of their relationship, he had taken ~$3k from her. He was good at manipulating her, and could get her to believe anything he told her. She always used to lean on me for support while she was with this guy, and she has said on numerous occasions that she would never be dumb enough to take him back. Fast-forward to now, three months after I have broken up with her. I was trying to be nice and asked if she wanted to hang out with me one day this weekend, just as friends. She informed me that she was trying to get back together with her ex, and he wouldn't appreciate her being around another ex of hers. I don't understand how in the world she could let him back into her life. Part of the reason we broke up is because she has some self-destructive tendancies, but this really blows my mind. She appears to allowing him to form her opinions for her, just like he used to when he was using her. I don't really know if there's anything I can say or do in this situation, but I don't want to see her get hurt like that again. This guy doesn't care about her and made a real emotional (and financial) wreck out of her several times before. Any ideas for how to get through to her? Trying to support her the first few times she went through this took an emotional toll on me, and I don't have any intention of having to do the same thing again if she runs back into a bad situation with him. I almost want to just tell her that I can't be there for her anymore if she does this.
  19. Hey guys, first of all, just like to say hi to everyone who takes the time to read my post, as i'm new to these forums Ok heres my story. I've known my ex-girlfriend who i've just recently broken up with for a few years now (since high school) and we were out drinking with a big group of friends (we are in the same circle of friends) and ended up hooking up one night. We havent always been the closest of friends but always had an awesome time hanging out with each other or when we bumped into each other out and about it was always good. But yeah we hooked up 8 months ago, and a couple of weeks later were officially going out. even though 8 months may not seem like a long time to some people, ive had a fair few girlfriends in the past and have never felt like this about anyone before. We had minor disagreements in this time, nothing ever major at all, we just had different opinions on some things. But everything was great. During the early stages of our relationship (btw we are both 20), she was telling me how lucky she felt and just how happy I made her feel about herself and so many other things i made her feel that she never thought possible. To fill you in a bit she's never had an official 'boyfriend' as such but has been with a fair few guys but never for long at all. This is because every single one of them had either treated her bad, and to sum it up quite simply were just not nice guys at all. I have a letter on me she wrote me a few months back i'll just quote some of the things she said. "ive never been out with someone who is as nice to me as you are. it was easy to be the nice one in the relationships all the other times, so i never hurt them, then i didnt feel as bad ending it. being with dud guys was a good way for me to avoid commitment, but now ive bagged myself a good one and cant see a reason to throw it away". She has told me a few other times she feels bad being in a relationship with me because she cant promise we'll be together forever. But the way i figure after thinking a whole lot about things is, who can promise anything like that? Not a single one of us can promise something like that as we will never know what the future holds. Hope you are following this all still so far. Just the other week we were on the phone and for like the last couple of weeks she'd been fairly down. Her and her housemate had been having alot of arguments, things at her work werent going that great and was also having some issues with her family at the time. During this time, i'd be over her unit and seen sides of her, i'd never seen before. Things like her getting angry or being upset for no reason at all. Sort of like she was trying to create problems from nothing. I just put this down to her current situation of being upset about a whole lot of things. Like i was saying, we were on the phone one night and she was just saying how she was feeling and how everything seemed to be going not so great lately. Basically, by the end of this 3hr phone call we were no longer an item. I couldnt even sleep that night, thoughts were just racing through my mind, wondering just what the hell had happened, and pretty much just not believing what had happened. The reason she gave me for splitting up is because she's scared of the person she's becoming. Like, things i'm making her feel were overwhelming and because she hasn't got a gut feeling or know for sure that we'll be together forever, isnt quite sure she'd take the risk of getting hurt / hurting each other further down the track because she loves me so much. We tried the no contact thing for a while but its still hard in our situation because we are pretty much in the same circle of friends. The last few times i've been over her unit, like had tea with her and her housemate, its all fine at first and stuff but we've ended up kissing,everythign like we used to when we were going out. Then we talked about it seriously one day and she's like we are still going to see each other around because we have all the same friends and stuff but then she goes we cant kiss, tell each other we love each other, anything like that at all. (Finish this post shortly, have to do something)
  20. So for those who haven't read my previous posts (or have forgotten as it has been some time), he is a quick recap. I've had a crush on this friend of mine for a few months now. For the first few of those months, we were geographically separated, so I wasn't able to really go forward at all. In the past month or so, we have been close again, so I have been trying to proceed. Someone on here suggested before I actually ask her out, that I try to do things such as hold hands, things like that. While I haven't had the guts to just grab her hand, I have done things such as sit quite close to her on the couch (so that our shoulders and bodies are in contact) or lean my head on her shoulder.....Nine out of ten times she doesn't move out of the way. However, that one time she does move out of the way (not in a "whoa, why are you so close!?" sort of way just in a "oops, let me get out of your way" sort of way) i feel quite upset by it. So basically, I really feel like this is the time to ask her. Why wait? There are plenty of green lights. She laughs histarically at most of my jokes. And believe me, I know my jokes are NOT funny most of the time lol. I guess the only reason I am in doubt somewhat as to her feelings is the simple fact that she doesn't initiate physical or verbal affection from me to her. She just doesn't seem like the time of person, who will be overly affectionate to random people. For example, my ex gf would say things like I love you to people she barely even knew, but this girl is more restraining when it comes to compliments (though she has said i love you to me on 2 occasions). According to my parents, who have spent a bit of time with her and me together, they say she clearly has a crush on me of some sort. But then, they are my parents, maybe they are just saying this to make me feel better. My ex gf always thought this girl had a crush on me as well, but then that might just be jealousy speaking. I, myself, have thought she had a crush on me for a long time (almost since I first met her over a year ago), but then, that might just be wishful thinking. (Though I am sure her feelings have not been equally as strong during the course of the past year + we have known each other. But I often have thought she looked at me as "dating material") So then my question really is how should I talk to her about this. One thing I was thinking was to say something along the lines of, "We have such a special friendship. And I feel like we could make it something even more" Obviously I would finesse it up a bit more)[she is my best friend, and im sure she would say if not best friend that I am definitely high up there and certainly I am her closest guy friend--not sure she even has any others that she is even close with at all) The thing I like about this idea is that if she rejects me, it probably would be easier for our friendship to overcome this than if I simply revealed that I had a crush on her. However, I also wonder if this is my best chance of getting a yes from her. I feel like it is highly unlikely that she feels quite as strongly as I do (I have the unfortunate fault in that I build things up a whole lot in my mind). However, just cause she doesn't feel as strongly as I do, doesn't mean she would never consider dating me. And personally, I see no reason to move the relationship too fast anyway. Like we dont want to go so fast ahead that we can never look back and then if we decide dating was a mistake, its too late to salvage a friendship (something which happened with my ex--interesting thing there though is that my feelings weren't half as strong for her before we started to date as they are right now for this other girl) Anyway, any suggestions as to how to go about telling her how I feel? And what should I say? Should we maybe go on an outing just the two of us, and then have me say something to her at the end of it? I feel like this might be too stressful as for the whole evening my heart would be racing at 500 miles per hour.
  21. I hope this is received in the right way. I know that many of you are hurting here because you've been left. I don't mean to upset anyone but I need a little help. I ended the relationship with my ex girlfriend. It was a very bad relationship and unhealthy. She hasn't handled it well and things have only become worse. Now she is insisting that we were married and she wants me to pay her bills. I broke up with her and we haven't been together for just a few weeks shy of 2 years. For the last year I have been involved in a wonderful relationship. My ex girlfriend is causing a lot of problems. It got so bad that we had to file a harrasment report against her last Friday. When she found out, she really went off the deep end. Her phone calls were non-stop for the entire weekend. She threatened everything you can think of and more. Then she started in on the being married thing and wanting her bills paid. What else can I do? It seems like it will take the police forever before they do anything. Is there anything that I can say or even give to her to read that will make her stop with the demands? I am very tired and just want to move on with my life. I don't wish anything bad for her. She needs to get over this and move on. It's been almost 2 years and she knows that I've been in another relationship for over a year. What can I do?
  22. I've got a different question to ask about clinginess or neediness. My ex-gf was really needy and that was one of the problems of our relationship because I was away long distance for grad school. Other than the distance, our relationship was great. We had never been closer to anyone in our lives. My question is...could it be possible that her personal neediness drive her to forget what made us special in the first place, that we were compatible and connected on almost every level? Is this something that she can realize with time or will I never have a shot at getting her back unless the distance factor is gone?
  23. couple of my friends asked there girlfriends out online becuz they lived in a different city.. so does the one i want to ask out online.. but i dont know wut to say.. do i just say "do you wanna go out with me?" please tell me! i cant ask her out to the movies or anythin like my last gf so i dont know wut to say and i dont want to wait till the next time i see her.
  24. I dated my last girlfriend from about January until the end of July. We had a long distance relationship of being about 2 hours apart. She is a quiet and reserved woman who has a good career going but suffers from depression and takes medication for that. I felt very strongly for her but the distance was too much for her to handle. Neither of us could move to where the other was (nor would it make sense to this early in a relationship). She was at a point where she was very confused with things and it was easier for her to just not want to have a commited relationship at the time. It was a large bomb on me, but I do realize that she has depression and that she has a lot going on in her life. So, we agreed to remain in touch but not romantically (but she wanted to leave that door open for in the future). So, we have actually done well with talking once a week or so and we still talk to each other like we used to. She seems much more comfortable this way and I don't seem to have the expectations that I once did from the relationship. So, this week it turns out that she has a conference for work in the town I live. She is here for 3 days. She gave me a call last week saying that she was able to get a room at the hotel she was at for the last two days but not for the first. So, she asked if she could stay with me. I said she was more then welcome to stay at my house. She shows up yesterday evening and we went out to dinner. We came back and watched a movie and we had a good time like we always have in the past with each other. She can easily talk to me and can let go a little bit with anything that is bothering her (some stuff going on with her mother and her mother's boyfriend). Anyways, it was a little awkward when she showed up and we hugged. But after that, we were talking just like normally. I still very much like this girl but I know we just can't do anything romantic right now and it would not be feasable. So, in the past, we had slept together. This time, she never said anything, and we aren't dating really, so I said that I had made up the bed in one of my spare rooms and went to make sure everything was good. She kept giving me this awkward look. I have no idea if it was..."I still would like to be able to sleep together" or if it was her way of checking if I was alright with things like this. It was even a little awkward this morning when she was heading off to her conference. She kept hugging me like it was the last time we were going to see each other or something. Also, last night we started talking about trips and vacation time and the like. Well, I know she is alone and I don't want her to be alone for the holidays so I put the offer out there for her to come over for Thanksgiving and for Christmas and she was very open to that. Her face lit up and she was happy with that. I think I am doing the right thing here in trying to keep things on a very good friend level for now until we ever got to the point where we could make something more out of it. In the meantime, I feel like this is a good thing to be (very good friends and be there for her when she wants to talk...be there for the holiday's etc.) I am still a little confused about the awkwardness last night though. I can only assume that she is feeling the same way in that she would like to have more and misses being able to cuddle and the like, but probably doesn't want to push me away or freak me out in any way. SHe is like that. I don't know, but I feel more optimistic about the future with her and I like the idea of having a deep friendship with her. We both feel easy with telling each other everything that is on our minds (just not always able to do so with regards to things doing with each other's relationship at times). Things probably are very good to be honest. I just want to get some opinions. Thanks.
  25. There's this guy, and he's like my best friend. I love him more than words can possibly say. His ex-girlfriend is also a close friend. After the relationship ended, she made it clear that she wanted him and I to date. He asked me to winter formal and made his intention to date me clear. And I said maybe. Well, then his ex-girlfriend changed her mind. She had started dating another guy the day after the relationship went sour. She decided right after he asked me out to recend the blessing on the relationship. Well wouldn't you know it, she put me in a rough spot and pressured me to say no. I told her I'd say no. But really I wasn't so sure. He and I talked and I decided yes I wanted to date him. Then all of his friends and all of mine started shunning and harassing us. Wouldn't you know it, I broke it off within a few days because I missed my friends. I really love him. I went away for a week. Then finally called him. I really really love him, but I can't give up my friends for him. And now he seems bitter and mad that I had to cut our relationship so short. Why can't he see that I care deeply for him, I just don't want to hurt her? How can I get him to accept a later?
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