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About Me

Mod Notes

  1. i just recently realized that the reason why im shy is cos i strongly feel like im no good on the inside. like i feel utter dislike for my self, there isnt a word on this planet that i can use to describe how i feel on the inside. i feel less than everyone around me like they deserve life and i dont. what the heck. where did this come about. i see some people actually worship themselves. how can you like yourself where do yo start. i want to be able to like myself to the point where i actually become selfish, like good selfish, and stop being a people pleaser. just letting this scum out of me.
  2. SO i've called and begged, pleaded, whined, threatened (not in a scarey way). I've met up with him a few times (a month later) and lost weight got brown and managed not to get blasted and tearfull and made him laugh. I've even had sex with someone else. Still he is in my thoughts every waking hour of every day and I want him back so bad it makes me feel physically sick. We'd been rowing a bit before we broke up- I,ve got a new job and was stressed. So he calls me up and says he needs to concentrate on his career and be selfish for a while which makes me wanna wring his neck as I really needed his support. Help.
  3. My ex boyfriend is the guy who treated me like crap, and broke up with me due to his cheating, after I relocated with him to florida, i'm back home in wisconsin now. (He said his cheating was not the cause of him not wanting me anymore) Well anyways I have a couple of posts on here and everyone has been really supportive. So thank you all, this chat and time have helped me a great deal, its only been 3 weeks, but i'm coping. I was just wondering? I think I have gone through a couple of stages since the break up, that by the way he couldn't even commit to doing that right(breaking up). Anyway i'm sorry , the stages i've went through so far of course was, Shock and denial, than desperation and helplessness, now i'm going through ANGER and acceptence, I guess the more I accept and think about it the angrier I get at times. Is this normal and what helps get through this, please tell me it will get better, be honest. I also keep thinking of the person he cheated on me with, I never saw her, which is good, and I guess she never knew about me. My ex told me about details of them which I understood he didn't want to be with me but I think by him telling me certain things, it was very cruel and selfish of him. I was just curious since he has started that relationship out based on lies, is it destined to fail? I could only hope, not because I want him back, but because he hurt me I don't want to see him happy right now. Is that selfish of me? Well any advice and comments are welcome. Everthing we as people go through makes us stronger and more prepared in the future, i guess. Well it sounds good and positive!! Thanks again, Katie
  4. right now, i am reliving every selfish, clingy,crappy thing that i ever did to my ex boyfriend, and it sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i feel horrible. i apologized to him for my selfishness, and have decided that if trying to convince him to come back is selfish too! i also realize that i am more in love with him now than i ever have been before--- and i love him so much that i wish him all the happiness in the world. at the same time, if i was blessed with the chance to be with him again, it would be so wonderful. i hope that he has accepted my apology, and i hope that one day he can forgive me.
  5. i hear all these people scream and im thinkin god i just want to die i ask god to please if he's there to end my pain but he hasnt i want all the pain to end no matter what it takes i mean i just dont really care what it takes and everyone is tellin me suicide is selfish but well some times you got to be selfish and well i see this as one of those times nad i mean like why keep goin i hear all these people screamin and i realize im goin to join them some day ill be able to be care free and have no problems but thats gonna be...my dying day cause there is no way any person or thing is gonna be able to help me cept for one thing this knife or those pills or that gun but for some reason ive been fightin but now the voice told me that its time for me to turn the knife on my throat instead of my arm and i feel like every one in the world hates me and as im writin this i realize ... they do
  6. Hey everyone, Ok im having a friend problem. I'm sort of selfish over this friend that i have, but we are like brothers. He lies to everyone a lot,and he tries to suck up to everyone. All he wants to do is be popular. Sooooo in public if its me and him and someone else he will always try and suck up to them and THEN IF HE HAS TIME talk to me. But in private we talk and its all good. This is WRONG, and he says he will stop. He acts like a manho, he goes around flirting with every girl he can, its terrible. Everyone's parents cant stand him but still hes my best friend. I need some advice.... this is killing me
  7. The other day, I told a girl that I liked her...but after spending the weekend alone, I realized why I did this. I do not like her...but I have been jealous of the success of others...so because of this, I was greedy enough to invent feelings for a girl and pass them off as genuine. I feel more shameful than I have ever felt in my life, and I was lucky enough to break it off cleanly with the girl (we simultaneously told each other that we were just friends). However, if she found out that I was selfish enough to make her confused about how she felt about me for my own personal gain, I would not know how to feel. I do not know what I am asking through this topic, but feel free to respond with your reactions. This just needed to be said to take a burden off of my shoulders, which is also quite selfish when you think about it.
  8. Against all better judgment I dated a girl a few years younger than me. I have never done this before, and it seems like I had good reason. Our relationship was going perfectly, I really feel ilke I was falling in or was in love with this girl. Being around her everything seemed so much better, just talking to her brightened my day. I have never had a relationship go so well, or felt so strongly for someone, I have thought I was in love before but this was/is much different. But she decided she is not ready for a relationship, and there is absolutly nothing that we can do about it. She still has strong feelings for me, she just can't handle a relationship right now, she has so much going on in her life. Now where does this leave me? I can't change the way I feel about her, and the feelings will not go away. Because of the way we broke up I can't see myself moving on for a while, I relly don't want this relationship to end. I think that is the problem. If I can't accept that fact how can I possibly move on. When we actually broke up I wen't numb, I didn't know what to feel and was speachless, I left so much unsaid. Its been about a week now and the feeling snuck up on me, I have had time to think about how I really feel. I wake up a few times in the middle of the night thinking about her, I really need more closure in this. Is it wise for me too call her and talk about how I feel? I am afraid it will make things worse for me, and I don't want to put her through more pain than she must be going through already. I feel like it is selfish of her to just end it like that, but its also selfish of me to not think about what she must be going through. You can probably tell I am really confused about all this. I don't know how to feel or react to anything. Some advice would be VERY helpful.
  9. When a woman tells you that she dosent know what she wants, is she saying that she dosent want you? She still calls my phone and blocks her number and tells mutual friends of ours that she dosent understand why she cant get over me but she cant let go of the past. She also called me and sent me a e-card on my BD signed Luv Always. Why? She says that I was selfish, wasnt there for her and crushed her spirit. We were together for 6 years. It seems that she is doing this for someone else or her pride wont let her give in, or could it be fear? She always ends her e-mails with (...) what dos taht mean? is she playing with my head or something?
  10. .....you have any chance of getting back together with your ex..... One of the first signs is the "Me Me Me" people that flock to this site. They are looking for a quick fix then disappear without trying to help any other people with their issues. We know you are in a desperate state but stop being so selfish and look to help other people also. When you do this, it just shows that you quite possibly have a problem with being too selfish and this could be a problem that hindered the relationship you are trying to ressirect The "We've been together for 1.5 months and he/she said he/she loved me and now he completely broke my heart" people. Chances are he or she was only infatuated with you and wanted something and either got it and bounced or saw he/she was not going to get it and bounced. You wer not in love you were in lust. Lust at first sight happens not love, do not confuse the two. For the most part its time to move on and this person was just using you for whatever reason The this is the "Umph-teen" time we've broken up people. Take the hint; the relationship is doomed and you're holding on to something that is obviously not healthy or productive. The signs are there, move on! The "How long should I NC him/her" people. There is no set duration. Play it by feel, but the feel is if you can confront the person without bringing up "us." The "He/She is happily married with four kids, but I have once again began t have feelings for him/her" people. Seek professional help with the one. The "How long until he/she comes back" people. Nobody knows that question so stop asking. If someone does give you an answer to your question they are BSing you. Chances are the person does not even know the answer to that question his/herself The "I'm 13 years old and he/she is the love of my life. I want to marry him/her." kids that have run rampant on here. You're 13 and there will be PLENTY of people after this person to date. Play games with this person and mike him/her jealous to get him/her back for another two weeks. There are hormones running through your body at amazing levels and what you are feeling now will be laughable when you're 25. Play games have fun while you can. When you get older the games become more intense and truly hurtful.
  11. This is the second poem I wrote in my life. Please let me know what you think WE MADE IT GO…. We let it go…. It was so painful It felt like a dull knife Slowly cutting up my soul And blood all black from anger, frustration and disappointment Dripping from everywhere From eyes and heart and ceiling Coming down the walls And drowning me I cannot breath, I cannot scream And move Everything is scary and dark And there is no single ray of light Coming into the room Will it ever stop? Will I ever open my eyes again And see the sun? Will I ever move, or dance Or laugh, or walk, or talk, or breathe? We had sunshine within our souls We felt joy from every touch, From every kiss, from every word But we let it go… We were blind, and deaf We lied and sinned We were selfish and unkind We let it all be covered by the darkness of the world Without a fight, without a scratch Without a cut It's lost, it's gone, it's never coming back We changed, we grew Apart and older Now I can see the sun again And move and breathe and talk And even laugh But it's all not the same There were no rusty staples in my heart before And now they're there squeezing tight So tight so that old wounds are opened up from time to time It really hurts, And bleeds sometimes Just like the dirty, stepped on And with broken wings our love was bleeding When it was forced to go away We made it go…
  12. I'm trying to deal with conflict better and could use some help. I'm the type who always apologizes to the other person even if it's not my fault, just because I don't like the tension. How do you know when you're being reasonable and when you're overreacting to something? Because I haven't really ever been assertive in my life, I don't know when I'm being selfish or just right. Like, I'm trying to pull this project together at work, and one of my co-workers started meddling and I had to tell her to lay off - it was getting confusing who was doing what. I think I was right in doing that, but because I've never been assertive, I don't know. And meanwhile she's mad at me. I hope this post makes sense. I'm just trying to develop healthy boundaries, but sometimes it's not clear what those are. And when the other person doesn't react well, then it's REALLY hard for me to stand my ground! How do you know when you're right?
  13. I have been having a lot of problems with everything since i left highschool and now currently enrolled in college. Most of the time im depressed and i cant talk to anyone about it. (LIFE) Life is hard and unforgiving, I'm dizzy from the constant spinning. They say everyone has a purpose, I just can't seem to focus. Most of my life seems to be a fake, All that happens to me is heartbreak, Make this feeling stop that persists, How could such a feeling ever exist. I'm waiting for the perfect time, To say to you the perfect rhyme. Poetry is the way I can say my feelings, One day I hope to find my bearings. The day you are in my arms ill be fine, One of these days I wish to call you mine. I'm selfish and always complain, I'm sorry but I can't handle this pain. Maybe this is what is supposed to be, Showing me that I'm not meant to be free. Doesn't matter to me; no one else cares, So bring on the constant nightmares
  14. This is my first time on this forum and I'm not sure where/how to begin. Feels like I'm at a crossroad in my life and unsure of which way to go. Guess I'll first try to give a little history of my past, or at least the part I've been especially struggling with lately. I've been in a relationship in one way or another for the past 14 years with a married man I met at work, with the exception of the 3 years I completely stopped seeing him (my decision). I don't want to say too much about my feelings for him because I'm afraid they wouldn't be understood and I doubt anyone would appreciate my words of love for him. I never thought I'd find myself in this situation and it's hard to believe I'm still in it. As I get older though I think more about how wrong and selfish I've been to not let go. I want so much to straighten my life out and I know the first step is being without him permanently once and for all but how do I make my stubborn heart listen to my hard head?...
  15. The possibility of failure is too much for me; I really don't want to live anymore. I've been deluding myself with grandeur visions of law school, or grad school when it's not going to get any better. I might transfer to a different school, but it won't matter much. I just don't want to try anymore, I don't want to acknowledge failure any further. I don't know if I will be able to do it, but I know I don't want to live anymore. I think I need help, although I don't know who to talk to. No one really understands me. It is a selfish act because my family would be devastated, along with a few friends, but I really don't want to live. Typing this is simply an acknowledgement of my recognition of failure, frustration and feeling of dejection. The only way I will be content with life is if I have a challenging and satisfying job, and by the looks of it, I'm not even sure if I'll make graduation. I just want out. It may be a narrow view, but only if I can turn my life around can I be happy and I'm not sure if I can do that. I've tried in the past and it didn't happen; the probability for future success is just as slim. I want out.
  16. I hear what people on this site are saying, and even agree with you.....but for some reason my heart always goes back to her....I just want answer, and to tell her how she makes me feel....I want her to know that she is a jacked up person, and has no regard for anyone but herself. I want to tell her about all the terrible things she has done to me, and I want her to know that through it all, I still feel that what happened was so long ago, and I would be willing to work at it!! But she is so selfish that I fel it will fall on deaf ears..... I just do not understand how she could just leave and never look back on us, never be curious.and pick up a phine to say hello!! ....to be honest at this point I kinda hope that Karma pays her back, and that she has to experience some of the pain I have felt for the past several years. I wish her to be lonely, and to eventually pick u[p the pone. I pray that I will have moved past this, and found happiness, but that the anger still resides, so that I can cut into her, and tell her all of the horrible stuff she did!!! I want to hurt her like she has hurt me, than perhaps I can smile and go on my way!
  17. My gf is 16, and I am 17 (senior in high school). I am going to college next year on the other side of the country. Her and I have been together for 5 months now. We both agreed to separate when I go to college. So we were fine when we said that. Then we both came back to each other later, and started thinking "When do we break up?" I mean is it selfish if I just stay with her until I go to college and then we break up? I mean if we already know that we are breaking up, why not break up now? I asked her if she wanted to break up now, and she said no. I want to be with her till the end... but is that selfish? is that wrong? Should we start being friends, so we can start our friendship close distance rather than trying from so far away? I have cried everynight since she told me this (1 week ago). She even said to take a break this weekend from each other. So I am not seeing her until monday..... then the next problem is that prom is coming up. I already have my suit, and she has her dress and I have the tickets... do we still go? or will agony persist..... I usually look too into things (as she says). So am I getting all wrecked up for no reason? I just don't see purpose if there is no future... ForAnother
  18. My girlfriend and I have been together for two years now, she is still in school while I just graduated so after being together for a year and a half we are now doing the long distance thing. She has had some thoughts that since I am in detroit she automatically feels pulled toward fdetroit now matter what her opportunities may be, even though I have told her I will go anywhere for her. She has also been compareing our relationship to one of her friends who is on a bad relationship with her fiance. Her friends think she is making the wrong choice by marrying the guy. Naturally my girlfriend is now questionsing and comparing our relationship to her friends which is not even close to being the same type of relationship. Through out the time we have been going out, I think I have bent over backwards for her, and really when I look back on it I think I have done far more for her than she has for me. She is very confused and had so much in her life right now with school and activities. She said she was being selfish and really didn't want to be but I told her that she had to be becuase she needed to figure things out. I guess I am wondering if I was right ion saying that or is she selfish and taking me for a ride. I don't know what to do, I don't want to loose her but shoudl I keep on going on if she is going to be selfish
  19. Silent sorrow fills my mind Suspending the very sense of time I watch the people as they streak by Two strangers approach And then collide A huff, a puff But nothing more Grab your stuff, but a second for A look of fleeting confusion A sense of utter intrusion A want for conclusion Of this momentary interaction This sudden, unwanted distraction This personal infraction So now, part and back on course Two separate directions A few dazed reflections But nothing much more Forgetting the unevent The nothingness Only, time it bent So I sit here All the wiser Knowing that I will remember This moment of true human nature Representative of the human creature So this is what we have become So this is what our selfishness has done Silent sorrow fills my mind Suspending the very sense of time I watch the people as they streak by In various ways They all collide
  20. I wrote this last night, no thinking really, just every thought that came into my head. read and comment if you will... At night I can't sleep bc my mind won't stop. All day I can't think bc everything I do is wrong. I am afraid of myself. I ache for my depression to stay; who I am outside of it is selfish, stupid and cruel. I am my own addiction and my own disease. I don't know what to do or say and I don't know how to act. Every word and action feels fake, even my voice seems like someone elses. I only want to please them all, to be who they want, and I'm drowning in confusion. I need them to survive, but they are suffocating me. I feel like there's nothing important enough to live for, so I feel so restless. I do everything I can to fill up this time, but still I feel like I'm dying without something. It grows more every day, this searching feeling, like I am looking for something and quickly running out of TIME. I look for it in every person, in every voice I listen for it. But I don't know what I'm looking for. I must be going insane. I feel like I am eating myself alive. -EmptySoul
  21. Hello, wow, never thought I would be doing this but here I am!! Well, I broke up with my ex approaching 4 months and I still feel detached from everyone and everything. I was engaged to this girl as we were together for close to 6 years. She was my first love and I don't know how to handle the way I am feeling. I sacrificed a lot for this girl throughout this relationship and I feel that I was never appreciated for it. I see her a lot at the gym and now she comes in with another person whom I assume she is talking to. It's eating me alive seeing her with this guy but I don't want it to!! We do not speak and have not spoken since the breakup. No one cheated on no one, we just had our differences!!! I don't know why I am posting this, maybe a miracle answer to help me through this!!!! I just hope she feels the same way as I do!!! As far as wanting her back, I don't know....I need someone to sacrifice as much as I do!!! She said it was over and I think she really didn't mean it, as she has done it in the past. I was the one in our major arguments to try to talk things out, and she did with open arms. This last time I had enough and finally let go...I honestly don't know. My family is extremely happy over this result, they were never to fond of her! I guess what everyone was saying about her being very selfish and what not I just didn't see!!! I still miss her deeply and know in reality she is not for me, but afraid to let go!!!! I have always been stronger then this, and it's really discouraging to me to feel the way I do. I feel less of a person to be so attached to someone who I now question even cared for me! If any of this sounds incoherent it's only because the thoughts in my head are the same way!!! I am in a very confused state of mind right now!!! Anything anyone has to say I would appreciate!!! thanks
  22. I'm single with no family. My extended family NEVER comes down to visit me (I'm only 1.5 hours away). It has been like this for 15 years. I visit them at least 20 times per year. I look at my family and I wish I simply didn't know any of them anymore. I'd like to just get away from them all. They only call when they need something from me (I'm in IT). They never call to help or see how things are going. Actions speak louder than words. Their actions are complete apathy. I'd like to just write them off. That's how I feel. Just get away from them forever. I've felt like this since I was 16. They make me sick to my stomach because they cannot eat, drink, or make enough money. The world revolves around them in their own little way. Either do what they want, or they want nothing to do with you. It actually does make me sick to my stomach. Does anyone else feel like this? Any ideas on how to handle it? I can't just pretend my feelings don't exist. I should note that I have had to make it on my own my whole life. When I came back from the military, they treated me like a lesser person. I went on to become successful in IT and promised to never look back. Fact is, if someone doesn't treat me with respect, I'm not going to sit around and take it. This disrespect continues today, they say "I got lucky" and they talk behind my back to others so when I go home, I get treated poorly by friends as well. I don't even want to go home, but feel I have to out of obligation to God to respect my parents.
  23. Okay, I already had a message on here a few days ago regarding my boyfriend who dated a close "friend" of mine a few months ago (and we'd been together almost 3 years. We recently fought (ok, yesterday!) about this. NOT a day goes by that I'm not reminded of it. It's not that I want to feel insecure or upset but it just happens. He says that it's my problem and that I get myself upset. However, if he had never went out with her in the first place I wouldn't be feeling this way! He says to me "Not everything revolves around you". No s**t! But how can I overcome this? Every once in a while I break down bad and we get into arguments. I live with him, and we split bills, etc. I don't know what to do. I love him but I'm constantly suspicious and I get upset about his past error in judgement and it drives me crazy. I'm even depressed about it but have no one to talk to. I tell him he's the only one I have to talk to but he only talks at his convenience. Yet, somehow I still turn out to be the selfish one! He goes out by himself and doesn't take me and expects me to be alright with this even after past events. I can't handle it too well. I must sound crazy but my feelings are haywire and it hurts. He says he loves me and that if wanted to he'd leave. Then he says that if I want to leave him then so be it. I kind of feel that if he actually wanted me to stay he'd be more inclined to say he didn't want me to leave. I don't know what to think anymore. I don't have many friends and the ones I do have I don't see too often so I can't vent through them and I spend my time alone if I'm not at work or with him. I know I shouldn't feel this way but some days are so hard to deal with my emotions that I think it would be better to just die. I won't kill myself but my heart aches so bad. It is very disruptive, too. I can't concentrate sometimes when I need to. I know I'm not the only person who feels this way or similarly but I certainly feel all alone.
  24. I broke up with my ex girlfriend nearly 2 months ago, see post . After recently speaking to her, I'm a little clearer on the situation. Her reason for splitting up was because she didn't want to be committed to anyone, not in the sense that she wanted to go out and play the field, she's categorically said she's not interested in men in general, she just seems to need to be completely selfish in her life right now, to not have to consider anyone else, to be have the oppertunity to decide that if she wanted to do something completely spontaneous, she could, without having to explain or justify herself to anyone. She's not really going out clubbing much, which I thought it was all about, she's working quite late and making lots of new friends at work, and I'm not sure if this is what she wants with her freedom or if that's her way of taking her mind off me. It does feel like it's more the idea of her total freedom that she wants rather than something she wanted that she couldn't have in a relationship. That it's more the idea of being emotionally commited to someone, the idea that what she does affects me as well as just her, rather than the freedoms she actually gains by not being committed to me that she doesn't want She's 19, and we'd been together for 3 years, so since she was 16, and as it was a long distance relationship, we only really saw each other weekends. I feel like this was a big factor in why she feels like she needs to be the way she is, we've always had our time together dictated by necessity, rather than choice, and although it meant we did have a lot of space for ourselves, the space we had was not always when we needed it, and conversely, we couldn't always be together when we needed to. Another factor could be that she never really seemed to live her life when I wasn't around, she was always moping around the house until the weekends, when I was there, which was always an unhealthy situation, and I always wanted that to change, but I never thought it would be an all or nothing situation. Although I should probably be angry with her for being so selfish, it does seem like it is just a phase she's going through, especially due to the fact that it wasn't a slow withdrawl of affection, it was the best it's ever been one week, strange the next, then we split up, and the fact that she's always been incredibly selfless in the past when it came to our relationship. Although I'm at peace with her decision, and am not thinking that she might phone up in tears saying she's made a mistake anymore, I still dearly love her, and cannot imagine myself giving or recieving the amount and kind of affection we had with anyone else, and I would still like to maybe start anew, if this is just a phase, when she has grown out of it. I know she truly loved me when we were together, and there were no real problems in the relationship, apart from the distance thing, which I am in more of a position to change now, and we were so utterly compatible in every way and worked so well as a couple. She says she's not sure if she loves me in the way she used to now, after 2 months of being split up and making efforts to get over me, but she does think about me and does miss me, although it's not lying in bed crying type missing me. She's taken down photos of me, but other than that, not really removed evidence of me from her room, still wears the jewelry I bought her, still got lots of words of love written on her wall that she hasn't painted over, things like that. She knows that she doesn't want me out of her life completely, and has said that we'd meet up sometime and just see what happens, and when I asked her if she thought we'd be back together someday, she said she doesn't know, the way she's feeling now she doesn't want me, but she just said she'll take things as they come. We didn't really talk about when we'd contact each other again, I just said I'd send a card for her birthday in July, and prolly phone her, but other than that, I won't try to speak to her.We both knew it'd be the last time we'd talk for months, and we were both kind of half in tears when we were saying all our goodbyes. The way I'm feeling right now, I do want her back, I think we both need to get our own lives back, we were all each other's lives for 3 years, but I feel like there was nothing else that was really wrong with us as a couple, and that once we've got our own independance back, I would like to share it with her again. I will keep my word of not phoning her until her birthday, maybe text her at easter, just to say happy easter, hello, hope your fine, etc, but will try to get my life back at the same time. I'm not interested in playing the field, I never was, and not interested in a relationship with any other person. I'm not going to wait around on phone calls or wait around for her to change her mind, but I love her, and she will always be a big part of my heart, I just want to be able to express that feeling to her in a way that isn't going to suffocate her, and we can see where we both are in our lives in 5 months time, and find out what relationship we can have in the future, be it close friends, falling in love again, or worst case, having each other as just memories forever. Long post, and not really any questions, but I would just like some opinions on the reasons she broke up, if it seems like what she wants could be a long term thing or just a phase, and the way I'm dealing with it, and the steps I'm taking to try to build something new with her in time.
  25. -_- my "too long" is only 6 days. It sure feels longer. I thought I haven't heard from him for 2 weeks and I checked my logs... only 6 days. =/ Still, 6 days is the longest I had to go without getting any message what so ever. I know this is something I choose to put up with and I'm trying really hard to understand that he's busy and sometimes we just can't contact each other... communication is a luxury...I still hope that he would have written to me. I guess I'm really selfish. I know he worked extra hard for 3 days just so he can wait in line to call his mom for 3 minutes. Who knows long much longer he'll have to work before he'll get to e-mail me or call me, but I really miss him. I told him in my e-maiils that if he's too busy, don't worry about me, just get some rest when he has time... but in truth what I'm thinking is just the opposite... >_> I know he's only sleeping 3 hours a day right now but ... is it okay if he lose another hour of sleep just so he can call me? -_- I'm way too selfish I suppose. I just really miss him. He'll probably find a way to e-mail me tomorrow or the day after. I said the longest out of contact period I can accommodate is 7 days... in reality I can only go for 3~4 days... but I said 7 because I know sometimes one e-mail every 7 days is hard to meet too... ... =/ this is so depressing. -_- i don't like this stupid stupid stupid war. I don't care if they're actually liberating people in iraq or if it's really helping anyone. I just want it to end. I want him to go back to the stage where he can talk to me on messengers once in a while and call me every 3 days. I don't care if he's getting any medals or praises... i'd be happier if he's not doing much. It doesn't work that way though. =/ If he wants to fly I can't chain him down. If he's forced to fly I can't beat his supriors up and let him rest. -_- Oh, well. I'll go back to studying. =/ ... I miss him so much. -_- I'm probably the weakest military girlfriend out there.
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