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scarew last won the day on April 12 2007

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  • Birthday 05/02/1985

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  1. Woa this thread is three years old! Anyways, I like it. Well, I suppose it depends on if you are into the guy. I dated my ex for years but was not into him. Sometimes I just wanted a kiss and would get annoyed by an erection because I didn't want to have sex. But with my husband I am stoked that his tongue in my mouth makes him hard! In fact, I would probably be kind of confused if it didn't get hard!
  2. Okay We'll do a new one since the line up has a new starter! Confused- april 10 (boy) Dilly- april 15 (girl) Tweedledum- april 20th (boy) Babyblueeyes- april 21st Hondadonkey- may2nd (girl) Katie- may 12 (boy) Muffincakes- may 23rd Mejane- may 23rd (boy) Scarew- may 30th Marijo- July 20th (boy) Spredn (Angie)- July 22nd Roofergirl- aug 3rd Myteddybear- aug 11th Belladonna- unsure Ash- September 7th Scout- September 23th Caro- October 20th Others: Spugley Fuglet and Iceman26
  3. Lol Btr! I think you are strong enough that you would have found your way anyways, but lets still be grateful for this forum
  4. Hazey- 6 days ago! She could be delivering right now! Next is: Confused- april 10 (boy) Dilly- april 15 (girl) Tweedledum- april 20th (boy) Babyblueeyes- april 21st Hondadonkey- may2nd (girl) Katie- may 12 (boy) Muffincakes- may 23rd Scarew- may 30th Marijo- July 20th (boy) Spredn (Angie)- July 22nd Roofergirl- aug 3rd Myteddybear- aug 11th Ash- September 7th Scout- September 23th Caro- October 20th Others: Belladonna- undisclosed (check out her ticker on her posts though!) Oh my I keep thinking that mine is so close but look at how many of you are before me! Good luck to all!
  5. I agree about the weather! Lol your man is a funny guy. Mine made fun of me because when I made his lunch for work yesterday there was mysteriously only half of the usual PB and J sandwhich. It was actually because it was the last piece of bread but it was cute that he thought I scarfed on his lunch while making it haha!
  6. I have been reading this thread for a while also. I have read everyones stories and am amazed at how many sick things go on in this world. Near the beginning of this thread the reference to violent sex really struck me. I too was embarrassed to acknowledge this. I was first molested when I was about 9. A looooong time family friend waited until there was no one left in the gift room at my aunts wedding. I was wearing a little sports bra/undershirt that stuck out a little with a white button up shirt ontop. I was in no way thinking that I was dressed sexually. No way. He came up behind me and felt me up. btw, I got my period when I was 9 so I actually did have little boobies. He told me I was his "favorite girl" in his creepy dutch accent and put his hand down my pants. He put his finger in me for a moment then I just remember that he left. Someone was probably coming into the room or something. A couple years later my best friend reported her molestation to the school who contacted the police. I came forward also but mostly out of jealousy. This man had been friends with my grandfather since they were five years old, and as soon as my grandfather found out, he completley cut him off. I always admired him for that. The police merely talked to the old man but no charges were filed. When I was 18 a group of friends and I would always get drunk and hang out at this house on the beach (parents were in africa). The music was always loud, and everyone was usually pretty wasted. My friend and I were talking on the couch. He was upset because he liked my other friend but she didn't like him. It was loud so he asked if we could talk in the back room. When we got there he pushed me down right away and pulled down his pants. I was so dumbfounded that I half-laughed at first because I didn't know what the heck he was doing. Then he jumped ontop of me and grabbed my head and smashed it against the dresser. he pulled my pants down and punched me. I was so shocked at first that I couldn't fight, but once I realized what was going on I fought HARD. He kept kissing my face and neck and I bit his lip as hard as I could. I scratched him and tried head bunting him in the face but I was pinned down too well. I tried flailing my legs to kick him but he enjoyed it so I just stopped. He kept hitting me the whole time too. I wasn't sure if he was trying to kill me or knock me out or if he was just getting off on the violence. I was screaming but no one heard. I eventually gave up and just started crying while he continued for probably half an hour. After, he threw my pants back at me and left the room. I just stayed the night there because I was so traumatized that nothing else worse could possibly happen to me. I stayed until the next morning and left when my friends all started talking about how the two of us had hooked up and had crazy sex. All the guys in my group of friends stayed on his side. One of my best girl friends was on his side too. They kept saying things like, "Oh yah right, he wouldn't hurt a fly," despite his record of assult and attempted murder. They all said I was just denying it because I had a bf at the time and didn't want him to find out. To this day, some of my friends will bring his name up more casually than I feel is appropriate. I want everyone to hate him, but no one really believes me. Even my friends that support me don't really believe me. They say that my bruises and scars were from having crazy sex or from being drunk and falling all over the place earlier that night. I wasn't even that drunk, because I remember the WHOLE thing. Thank god I never got any STD's because he had a bad track record. You know, the rape wasn't the worst part either. The aftermath, I mean drama with losing all my friends, being afraid all the time (small down) just made it impossible to get over. I am currently in counselling adressing some of my feelings of fear and helplessness. Hopefully the pain and fear will be gone very soon. Thanks for listening
  7. Good points guys thanks When I think about it though, I really do feel like I am learning something from these sessions rather than digging up stuff to make me feel bitter and angry. I feel like she uses an applied approach, which is really important. I just get judgemental when counsellors try to dig up my past because my past is like a counsellors dream: Instable homes, multiple fathers, all kinds of abuse, etc. All of which I consider myself to be over. However, when she asks me to talk about some of these things that I think I am over, she asks me to recognize the physical/emotional feelings I get. These feelings are exactly how I feel when I am overreacting or behaving in a way I dislike in my relationship. We then try to find ways to diffuse those feelings through self talk and breathing and stuff. So I really think its helpful, I just get sketched out sometimes. Anywho, meltdown of the day: I am ugly and fat. I am sure many pregnant women go through this. But today I am really feeling that body image problem. Sometimes me and my husband go swimming and lately my usual bathing suits can't contain my boobs so I went to walmart to pick up a cheapy in a bigger size. Well, lets just say that full length mirror in that horrible lighting has led me to decide that the swimming days are over, and I didn't get the bathing suit. I have stretch marks on my but, and now on the bottom of my breasts. My upper body actually looks decently fit even with the big tummy, but my bum and thighs are like a whole different person! (sigh) My husband still thinks I'm sexy, but geez, I wish I thought so. I feel like a whale with circulation problems (stretch marks look veiny). AH! I know it will all be worth it. I guess I thought I was immune to all the things pregnant women go through. I thought I wouldn't get those war wounds. I don't know why. Blah, I am so embarrassed to go out in public. Summer is coming up and I will have to wear a parka all season. Wow, big rant. Thanks guys.
  8. Well J hasn't been able to make the last 2 appointments with our couples counsellor but I thought no prob I'll just go by myself and work on my personal stuff. After talking with me, the counsellor says that she would like to do some more work with me alone. Stuff that she thinks is important to adress before the baby comes. So for the next 2-3 sessions it will be just me and then both me and J again after that. I think it will be good for me. I mean, I have had alot of counselling before, when I was younger, but I don't think you can fully benifit from it until you are mature enough to actually learn things about yourself. It makes me kind of uncomfortable in a way because this counsellor really likes to dig up my past, which is nothing but textbook instability and abandonment issues. But I suppose the fact that it makes me uncomforable is indicative that I need to address these issues. Do you guys believe in the whole er- you overreact in your relationship because you have a fear of rejection because of things that happened to you when you were a little girl? Stuff like that? I don't know, it seems kind of Freudish. I think she might be right, it just seems so... like Im a patient sitting on one of those long chair-beds facing the other way while a psychiatrist asks me about my childhood. P.S. Thanks about the pic
  9. I did sort of get over my meltdown the other day. I offically gave myself permission to panick after the semester is over and I have time to feather my nest and get everything ready, whether we have found our new house or not. Dilly, I am really trying to bring awareness into my emotional spells like you said. Sometimes you just get PAINFULLY aware though you know? You know that you're breaking down, you know its not justified or rational, you know its just horomones, yet you STILL break down. (Sigh) is right.
  10. O BTR, I don't have any advice for you because I am just as confused about my prenatal breasts as you are about your breast feeding ones. But I just wanted to say that its so neat to see you being a mother. I am sorry that the battle is continuing, hopefully you can find the support you need here!
  11. oooooooo nice one Dako I am glad you are single because I think it will be good for you. Like I'm That Girl, I have been following your posts. I don't want to be mean, but it really does sound like you have a strong need for sexual attention. As long as you can admit this and be aware and careful, you shouldn't have a problem. Just remember that nobody remembers you for how you look. When people talk about you, do you want to be remembered as that girl that "had great * * * *", "is wild in the bar", or "is a really cool chick" or "has an awesome personality". If you are remembered by the latter two, people will still think you're beautiful. They just won't have to say it because they will have better things to say about you. Its your decision how you want to portray yourself. But again, I AM glad that you are single for a while and hopefully you can find yourself on a level that you haven't seen yet.
  12. Again, She doesn't deserve your time and energy. She feels horrible and is trying to make you feel horrible too. So don't give that to her. Don't let her have that kind of power over you. Stop calling her, give yourself some space, and move on. You know what is important in a relationship to you now- honesty and loyalty. Take this as a lesson and move on.
  13. It sounds like they genuinely want you to go and you are just being a little insecure. If you have doubt, just call up the one that is closest to you and give her and easy way out in case you aren't wanted: "(name), I'm totally down for skiiing this weekend but I kinda felt like I was a last minute addition. I could just be paranoid, but if you ladies ever just want your girl time then just let me know cuz I don't want to intrude! " So if she wants it to be a girl time thing then she will say so then, because you have made it okay for her to say so. Note that its said with a smiley face. IMO, a group of 7 people is hard to keep track of. Everyone just probably assumed that someone else invited you, or else they just assumed that you would go since u guys do everything together. I don't think that she would have asked you at the last minute if they had any reason that they didn't want you to go.
  14. I'm 5'8". I am not sure about the cm, but I usually measure just barely over my expected measurement. So if 28 weeks means 28 cm, then yes haha!
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