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About Me

  1. I think he plays a roll in our fights, as well as me - we tend to trigger each other’s anxieties when we fight. But I feel a majority is me. I get this ocd anxiety whenever I’m in a long term relationship and I’ve let it ruin too many of them. If I can just get a handle on this we could get to a different place. We had something, and I don’t want to walk away without knowing that I tried everything and fought for it. It sounds so dumb looking back - one morning on the trip, he showed me a video on Facebook where a guy walked up to someone and said “now that’s a big pile of !”..and the per
  2. Now before I start this I want to say I know there is nothing wrong with people dating who have depression or any other mental illness. I myself suffered from incredibly bad OCD as a teenager which I know I have remnants that I carry into relationships. Doesn't make me a bad person to "date" or anyone else for that matter with a mental illness. This is more based on my friend we have been trying to support lately. Me and two other girls have been trying to support her through a rough time. She was in a very emotionally abusive relationship which she has been out of well over a year now.
  3. My partner of almost two years went radio silent on me about three weeks ago. No goodbyes, no explanations, just *poof* gone. I only had confirmation from his family, with whom I got very close, in the form of e-mails saying "Sorry it didn't work out." I'm confused. I put so much time, energy, money, emotion into this only to feel unceremoniously thrown away. Abandonment is a huge thing for me so it's been hard to process, hard to grieve as I have no explanation why, and even tougher to take care of myself. I know things were getting bad, it started out 50/50 time wise. Then he started to
  4. So my ex and I have been broken up for over a year. We speak almost everyday and we spend a lot of time together with the kids. I cheated on her and she left. I have been to counseling to deal with my issues. Our communication is good. We haven't had any arguments since the break. But every time that I bring up reconciliation she just says that she's still angry and that I'm just looking for reassurance. What does she mean by that? I love her with all me heart and I spend a lot of time with her and the kids. I have shown her my commitment to making it work. She has me confused.
  5. Me and my fiancé have had our differences, so much so that before we tie the knot in October I suggested we go to counseling, she has always been hard to talk too with out something small blowing up into a huge fight, so the counseling is going very well in that regards. She is what I would call a "guys" girl, she likes cars and guns etc over a women's baby shower for example, put she looks prissy and dresses very sharp, so she likes to have guy friends and can talk some pretty good trash which most guys like. It's always made me uncomfortable, she has a friend at work named Steve that she
  6. I didn't really know where to post this. I guess the big thing is directed toward my ex, but with other people in my life also. i am unable to show vulnerability to people. At all. During my relationship, i (when drinking) would get mean. Say and do awful things. I'd like to point out, I don't have an alcohol problem, I have an emotion problem. When I say drinking, I don't mean getting wasted often, I mean after a few drinks once in a while. When I'm drinking (for lack of a better term) I had the balls to say everything negative that's been on my mind that I had pent up. Things about everyon
  7. I really need some advice. I just found out that my bf has been cheating on me not only with a Tgirl but with a woman as well. I confronted him and asked every question I could think of about all the affairs he has had. It didn't make me feel better hearing that he had real feelings for this woman and that he didn't want to end the relationship with her. We have decided to take a break and have some alone time, but he is going to continue to pursue tho other relationship. He also wants to go to couples counseling but what is the point of working on us if he is going to keep seeing this other w
  8. I've been straying off for 3 yrs now and am feeling more anxious and guilty about it recently but can't put a stop to it. I've been married 15 yrs n know my H has been with other women, either online or in person, he goes back n forth. We've been to counseling a number of occasions for counseling but it always ends up going back to him going online n meeting women. Anyway, I don't want to leave the marriage so my unstable crazy mind allowed me to find another n begin a relationship outside my marriage. It doesn't stop there, I recently have added 2 other guys to my infidelity and now I feel an
  9. My wife (31/F) and I (33/M) have been married a few years, and dated a few years prior to getting married. My wife has two daughters (10 & 6) from two separate men from two separate marriages. We dated for a while before I met the girls, and took it slow from there also. We dated more and more and would spend more time together on the weekends she didn't have them. Slowly started seeing the girls more and more. Everything seemed to be going well. It seemed like we were making good judgement calls about how to go about the whole process, and our relationship blossomed into something we both
  10. so my wife and I have been married nearly 14 years come May. One week after her 38th Birthday and after months of talking to her female friend and now former co-worker on the phone who has had several affairs on her husband she comes to me and says she wants to separate. This caught me off guard because nearly a year went by where our lives were starting to settle and she drops this on me. I knew she was unhappy that life didn't go the way she wanted as did I. I couldn't have what I wanted (dreams of being a professional ball player) and I was bitter but I made a sacrifice to give her what she
  11. The "ex" came over numerous times this week after our counseling session, we get along fine, he's texting me, all of his stuff is still here even though he has said before that he will get it out. It's been 17 days since our fight where he left. So I ask when are you coming home? And he still says I don't know or I'm still thinking.. How much longer is he going to think? I am working on things and he sees it, we have another counseling session on Wednesday too. He is graduating a school program on Thursday and he gave me an invitation. Im obviously not giving up on us and after 11 years there
  12. I am a 23 year old woman who is looking for some help with my self esteem. I've been in counseling for years and I still currently am. I have tried increasing my exercise, doing things to my physical appearance like painting my nails or shaving my legs, but no matter what I try, I feel very badly about myself. I wanted to post this in the person growth category or maybe another better suiting category but I couldn't figure it out.
  13. After some great introspection, and looking back on my previous two relationships, I've noticed a pattern with my insecurify. I think I have anxious/preoccupied attachment. But I don't want this to continue in any of my future relationships. Has anyone out there ever recovered from their anxious attachment into secure attachment? I'm going to counseling, but I'd still like some hope. Thanks
  14. I've been hanging around here for a while. Never created a login or posted. So, my first post here. Not quite sure if I'm putting this in the right place even. Sorry for no back story or lead-in. Feeling pretty depressed today. There doesn't seem to be anything particular that has triggered it, but nonetheless here I am. Questioning where I am in life. Is this where I want to be? Is this where I wanted to be 10 years ago? 20 years ago? The answer is, I had no idea where I wanted to be back then. But I probably wouldn't have picked here. On the surface I've got a pretty good life. Wife, 4 ki
  15. hey guys I want some counseling .. I met a girl online .. At first she said that she doesn't wanna fall for me and we will be just friends .. I said ok it's our first chat anyways who knows where this will go .. then we started chatting on daily basis for an average of 4-5 hours a day .. and she always was the one who started talking .. I thought she might be liking me more than a friend so i started to flirt from time to time and then I made a small test if she is into somethings I like and she didn't show any interest .. so I started to talk crudely and kinda changed the way i used to talk t
  16. Hey All, I'm Justin, my girlfriend and I moved in together after being in a long distance relationship for a year. She moved here (california) from Amsterdam so it's been especially hard because she doesn't have her own life here and is basically piggy backing on mine. I'm fine with it but I she deals with a lot of anxiety of not feeling like she can be an independent person now. We've also been fighting a lot about stupid small things but the arguments usually culminate in something related to not having independence. But I think there's more going on, we don't seem to be have authentic and o
  17. We've been together for a little over 3 years now, engaged and great chemistry between us. As in, we both can't imagine someone better for each other and always talk about the future together. Any conflicts we have won't last more than the day they happened and they have been seeming further between the longer we've been together. I love her with all my heart, can't imagine a world without her and up until a few of weeks ago she would say the same. I am a senstive introvert. She is an introverted extrovert who has always craved more interaction with others (friends, like-minded peo
  18. Sorry in advance.. This is kinda long.. I really need some advice! This has been going on to long now. Do I leave or do I stay? Okay.. So, I have been together with my boyfriend on & off for a little over 5 years now and most things in the relationship are great or were great! Before starting let me say.. I'm 31 and he is 33 years old. The problem started with my man not wanting to have sex anymore or cuddle or talk or really have anything to do with me. I have to beg for his attention. Or at least that's how I feel lately. I don’t know what to do about it. I have talked this through wit
  19. I've posted here before and went through some of the details of my relationship - and the advice a lot of you have given has definitely helped sort some things out. Now, I am looking into marriage counseling. We've both agreed - but haven't talked about it much beyond that. I was the one that prompted it, and though she agreed, she said she "wanted to do that a long time ago and is happy I finally agree" which - honestly - is not the case. I looked into it on many occassions in the past, and never pursued it because of finances - but she just wanted to ignore the problems and keep "being ha
  20. Hi, so I'm so super upset, and I don't know what to do because it feels like I'm dying. I dated a guy for 8 months after I got out of the worst relationship of my life. Everything seemed so perfect; we worked together because we're both musicians, we jammed, we told each other we wanted to make it last for a very very long time. Half way through, I became very dependent on him, and would sometimes get upset when he needed "space." Because of this, I sought out counseling (2 months later) to become more independent of myself, and went on anxiety medication as well. Every time he said he nee
  21. I met a girl in high school and started to have strong feelings for her. We fell out of touch, and I felt quite depressed. I should have tried to get counseling then but didn't. Anyway, a few years later I met her again but she seemed distant and din't show any interest in getting to know me then, which was hard for me because she was friendly in HS. After college, she got into a relationship with someone. I felt quite badly about the whole thing and decided to cut all ties with her. Five years later, we are now both in our late twenties. I have been in a couple of serious relationships since
  22. Hey everyone, I have been with my Fiancé for almost 2 years now, things happened very fast for us and we have a 6 month old baby boy who absolutely adores him. The problem is, he does not trust me and it hurts. I don’t have anything to hide I am not doing anything and he has access to anthing he wants, me computer, phone whatever. He has accused me of the maintenance man, says I’m looking at men when we are out and about, one time there was a food stain in my car and he said it was a sex stain, he checks the sheets for things, he had my phone hacked and paid somebody well obviously this per
  23. **first and last paragraph for short version** My wife was sold a dream by an mlm. She joined it with out my support 8 months ago. Quietly spent $3000 chasing her dream. (A dream she didn't have until it was sold to her by an old friend from highschool). We are constantly fighting over it. I asked for counseling last month and she finally agreed. Backstory. She had a year off for mat leave, went back to work last April and from what I can tell her mental health started to deteriorate shortly after (postpartum??). crying after dropping the baby off at daycare type of thing. Fast forward a
  24. So my boyfriend and I have recently been discussing marriage quite a bit as we've now been together for coming up on 4 years. He's implied that maybe within the next year or so I can expect a proposal, which is great and I can't wait to marry him. However, when I mentioned to him that I've always wanted to go to pre-marital counseling before getting married he seemed pretty against it. He said that he can't imagine what a therapist could possibly say to us that we wouldn't already know. I told him the point is that he doesn't know what they might say, and that I've heard from multiple married
  25. Thank you for reading. My question is--as an objective observer, do you think I have a chance with this man? Two days ago my boyfriend broke up with me after 2+ years of a good thing. We never fought, we were comfortable im being ourselves with each other, we traveled. I made a point of making special Wednesday dinners with desserts where we would just enjoy each other--no tv, every weekend we went on a date. I spent the weekends at his house. In short, it was good. Only crack in the veneer was we had decided to move in together a month before our 2 year anniversary and he changed his mind say
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