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About Me

  1. I think he plays a roll in our fights, as well as me - we tend to trigger each other’s anxieties when we fight. But I feel a majority is me. I get this ocd anxiety whenever I’m in a long term relationship and I’ve let it ruin too many of them. If I can just get a handle on this we could get to a different place. We had something, and I don’t want to walk away without knowing that I tried everything and fought for it. It sounds so dumb looking back - one morning on the trip, he showed me a video on Facebook where a guy walked up to someone and said “now that’s a big pile of !”..and the per
  2. Now before I start this I want to say I know there is nothing wrong with people dating who have depression or any other mental illness. I myself suffered from incredibly bad OCD as a teenager which I know I have remnants that I carry into relationships. Doesn't make me a bad person to "date" or anyone else for that matter with a mental illness. This is more based on my friend we have been trying to support lately. Me and two other girls have been trying to support her through a rough time. She was in a very emotionally abusive relationship which she has been out of well over a year now.
  3. My partner of almost two years went radio silent on me about three weeks ago. No goodbyes, no explanations, just *poof* gone. I only had confirmation from his family, with whom I got very close, in the form of e-mails saying "Sorry it didn't work out." I'm confused. I put so much time, energy, money, emotion into this only to feel unceremoniously thrown away. Abandonment is a huge thing for me so it's been hard to process, hard to grieve as I have no explanation why, and even tougher to take care of myself. I know things were getting bad, it started out 50/50 time wise. Then he started to
  4. I've been hanging around here for a while. Never created a login or posted. So, my first post here. Not quite sure if I'm putting this in the right place even. Sorry for no back story or lead-in. Feeling pretty depressed today. There doesn't seem to be anything particular that has triggered it, but nonetheless here I am. Questioning where I am in life. Is this where I want to be? Is this where I wanted to be 10 years ago? 20 years ago? The answer is, I had no idea where I wanted to be back then. But I probably wouldn't have picked here. On the surface I've got a pretty good life. Wife, 4 ki
  5. Hey All, I'm Justin, my girlfriend and I moved in together after being in a long distance relationship for a year. She moved here (california) from Amsterdam so it's been especially hard because she doesn't have her own life here and is basically piggy backing on mine. I'm fine with it but I she deals with a lot of anxiety of not feeling like she can be an independent person now. We've also been fighting a lot about stupid small things but the arguments usually culminate in something related to not having independence. But I think there's more going on, we don't seem to be have authentic and o
  6. Hi, so I'm so super upset, and I don't know what to do because it feels like I'm dying. I dated a guy for 8 months after I got out of the worst relationship of my life. Everything seemed so perfect; we worked together because we're both musicians, we jammed, we told each other we wanted to make it last for a very very long time. Half way through, I became very dependent on him, and would sometimes get upset when he needed "space." Because of this, I sought out counseling (2 months later) to become more independent of myself, and went on anxiety medication as well. Every time he said he nee
  7. I met a girl in high school and started to have strong feelings for her. We fell out of touch, and I felt quite depressed. I should have tried to get counseling then but didn't. Anyway, a few years later I met her again but she seemed distant and din't show any interest in getting to know me then, which was hard for me because she was friendly in HS. After college, she got into a relationship with someone. I felt quite badly about the whole thing and decided to cut all ties with her. Five years later, we are now both in our late twenties. I have been in a couple of serious relationships since
  8. Hey everyone, I have been with my Fiancé for almost 2 years now, things happened very fast for us and we have a 6 month old baby boy who absolutely adores him. The problem is, he does not trust me and it hurts. I don’t have anything to hide I am not doing anything and he has access to anthing he wants, me computer, phone whatever. He has accused me of the maintenance man, says I’m looking at men when we are out and about, one time there was a food stain in my car and he said it was a sex stain, he checks the sheets for things, he had my phone hacked and paid somebody well obviously this per
  9. **first and last paragraph for short version** My wife was sold a dream by an mlm. She joined it with out my support 8 months ago. Quietly spent $3000 chasing her dream. (A dream she didn't have until it was sold to her by an old friend from highschool). We are constantly fighting over it. I asked for counseling last month and she finally agreed. Backstory. She had a year off for mat leave, went back to work last April and from what I can tell her mental health started to deteriorate shortly after (postpartum??). crying after dropping the baby off at daycare type of thing. Fast forward a
  10. So my boyfriend and I have recently been discussing marriage quite a bit as we've now been together for coming up on 4 years. He's implied that maybe within the next year or so I can expect a proposal, which is great and I can't wait to marry him. However, when I mentioned to him that I've always wanted to go to pre-marital counseling before getting married he seemed pretty against it. He said that he can't imagine what a therapist could possibly say to us that we wouldn't already know. I told him the point is that he doesn't know what they might say, and that I've heard from multiple married
  11. Thank you for reading. My question is--as an objective observer, do you think I have a chance with this man? Two days ago my boyfriend broke up with me after 2+ years of a good thing. We never fought, we were comfortable im being ourselves with each other, we traveled. I made a point of making special Wednesday dinners with desserts where we would just enjoy each other--no tv, every weekend we went on a date. I spent the weekends at his house. In short, it was good. Only crack in the veneer was we had decided to move in together a month before our 2 year anniversary and he changed his mind say
  12. Backstory : My husband and I have been married for two years. This behaviour began after our wedding and has gotten progressively worse in the past year. I will try to keep this as short as possible, although it won't be. Throughout our marriage, I have repeatedly caught my husband using social media to talk to women. He has lied about the majority of these accounts, claiming he never had them. Repeatedly denied he was doing until shown proof, etc. He was always sorry, and it would never happen again. So trust has always been an issue but ue qtleast seemed genuinely sorry. About a year a
  13. Hi everyone. I have posted here a couple of times concerning my boyfriend and two occurrences we have had in our relationship with him being less than honest with me concerning other women (I will never know to what extent he carried through with them on a physical level, nor do I really want to at this point). He also admitted he was less than honest with his ex-wife .... dating other women when they were suppose to be working on their marital issues. Of course .... this all gave me tremendous 'cause for pause' ... but I have proceeded forward with him, albeit cautiously, because I truly
  14. Hey. I'm sure many of you out there also have experienced bouts of anxiety. I've realized that I've had anxiety pretty much my entire life and I have health with it in numerous ways. I have good days and bad days just like everyone else. I've been trying to reshape my perspective on many things in my life. I have been dealing with depression for several years now. It's especially rough in the winter months and typically levels out in the summer. This past year has been a lot of up and down but I feel like I'm at a turning point in my life. As summer is approaching I can also feel naturally my
  15. I will try not to make this too drawn out.... So 2 weeks ago my girlfriend asked for some space. I havent seen or verbally spoken to her since. We did live together but I was able to stay at a friends house for a bit then go back to the apartment when she left town. We were 2 weeks away from moving out of our place into another place and she decided that it would be a good idea if we didnt do that. I didnt force the issue and agreed. We have/had been dating for 8 months and I officially moved in after 5. I did ask her to marry me about 4 months into the relationship. It wasnt really an offi
  16. I went out from a year long relationship, I have no motivation, I don't know what's next, is it normal? Should I seek counseling?
  17. We still love each other...we live peacefully me and him.My mom tells me that sex is nothing and people can live together for years without it in a couple.That years a go people did not split because of lack of desire...both my parents have separate bedrooms because of dads snoring...we have long time without sex but i can wait a bit longer...just not eternally.How do u suggest counseling ?
  18. So, some know my background. Married with 2 kiddos. And some know that my husband has in the past texted a woman he went to H.S. in secret. He of course blamed that his friend and him were doing it as a joke, and he just didn't stop. The second time he got caught, he blamed in on the fact I was too forward in asking for sex. And now yesterday, I decided to snoop after probably not snooping for two years, and he has been FB chatting with an ex (I believe she's an ex) who is married with a young daughter. Unlike the other two times, which mostly was innocent banter, those messages were full-
  19. I stood by you for three years after you decide to “step down” from your job. You were fired and deservedly so. I supported you emotionally and financially until you found a new job. I supported you emotionally and financially when your new job kept you away every night. I watched your son every night treating him as if he were my own. I took him to and from practices and games. Picked him up after school. Made him dinner and did homework with him. Put him to bed and said prayers with him. You were never there. You were away at work and then after work straight to the casino and when the casin
  20. My partner and I have had wonderful times as well as difficult times. Lately I feel like I am still in love but I believe we are not where we need to be individually. I have been going to counseling about being codependent and I really want to work on myself. I feel like I need to be alone to make serious changes regarding my behaviors in relationships. How do I break up with someone I love very much? Do you feel I need to be single and focused on myself to improve any future relationships? Thank you
  21. I have been married for 6 years. I have known this guy for 10 years total including the marriage. I find myself attracted to other women. I think about it all the time. It's like some women give me this feeling when I see them and guys don't. I have lost interest in the bedroom with my husband. I have told him this and been going to counseling trying to find myself. I do not want to hurt him, but I don't want to be in a relationship that isn't true. I think I have always thought these things, but never acted upon them. I just don't want to ruin something and look back and say I should
  22. I had a knot in my throat because I unknowingly drank caffeine in some tea before bed. My boyfriend was thinking all night that I was mad at him because of my energy, but every time I tried to tell him I wasn’t mad, he would tell me that he was 100% sure I was mad, and he would pout and pout and look so sad. Every time I looked at him he would stop what he was doing and apologize acting like he was very annoyed and upset, even though I was literally just looking at him without judgment. Sometimes I’m even looking at him with love when he ends up stopping what he’s doing, apologizing in an
  23. My girlfriend and I plan to get married in a month. We are both 38 and have dated for 4 years. We both desperately want kids. Things have been volatile for a while, so this is not a case of cold feet. We spent 2016-17 dating Long Distance and argued that whole time. (I’d posted about that before). There was enough good in our relationship, so I sacrificed and moved back to her city to work things out. We did 6 months of couples therapy, with limited results. Talking about past arguments in counseling made things worse. She just dug in more and was unable to see things from my point of
  24. Brandip

    Struggling!

    So my boyfriend of nearly 4 years cheated on me about six months ago it got bad I ended up getting a op against him because he was getting very aggressive the closer I got to full on proof of him cheating. He left state for the two weeks of the op, then contacted me after it was up asking if I would give us a second chance, he said he knew he made a huge mistake, he has taken all the blame for cheating. He started going to counseling is even willing to do couple's counseling. But what I am struggling with is I still feel like he is lying to me and hiding watching porn and possibly more from me
  25. I fell in love unexpectedly during a crazy time in my life. This guy is terrific and he paid me a lot of attention. He texted me all the time came over all the time to see me, introduced me to his friends and family. He even mentioned things we can do in the future. From all that I can tell, this means he was digging me, no? He even was sensitive to finding out the things I like or not and never pushed me. Then I got off track somehow. Maybe the stress in my life caused it, I just left an abusive relationship and I am in counseling trying to figure out myself but I said some mean things that i
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