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  1. Hi Everyone, I am a 30 year old guy, in a relationship with a girl the same age as me. We have been together for 3 years now. Everything is great and we are currently looking at buying a house together. I'm worried that we have differing opinions about marriage. I have never wanted to get married. I have always made this clear. She has always been kind of wishy-washy about it and I didn't think it was a big deal, until a couple of times recently that she has made comments about wanting to get married. I've explained to her that I don't really understand the concept of a marriage. IMO, I don't see the point in spending tens of thousands on a wedding day, and entering a legal contract which makes things very tricky if anything was to go wrong in the relationship. And following the wedding, nothing is different about the day to day life of the relationship between married and not married, so what's the point? Perhaps I am hoping for someone to explain the concept to me. Every time I have asked people why they want to get married (including several of my friends who are married) I have only ever had meaningless answers back, like ''it's nice'', or ''I don't really know but we just wanted to''. It's not the commitment that I'm worried about... I am very happy to stay with this girl forever, and to enter into a mortgage with her which would tie us together financially for many years and put us in hundreds of thousands worth of debt together. To me, that's a far bigger commitment than the concept of a marriage. To be honest, I think I'll struggle to come around to the idea of wanting to get married. I have always felt this way about it. I feel like I want to convince her that we don't need to get married.... but equally, if that is what she wants, then I don't really want to be the guy that's ruining that for her. I know we need to iron this out before signing a mortgage.... but I feel it's a rock and a hard place, and I don't want to lose her. Any of your thoughts are appreciated. Oh, and no offence meant to anybody who is married... you do you! 🙂 Thanks!
  2. So I'm 36 and I know this woman who is also 36. I first met her about 11 years ago and I was friends with her but not exactly close/best friend and not long. At the time she was best friends and later lived with this guy I was seeing that I was really in love with but he was just using me. I was seeing him on and off for a couple of years and friends with this woman R for the same amount of time back in 2010-2011. When I completely cut the guy off I actually also cut her off because she was his best friend and also lived with him and I really needed to move on from him. I found her a bit annoying at times but she did tell me that she has a learning disability. I didn't speak to R in any shape or form for a few years after that. Then at some point I stalked her social media and realised she was not friends on social media with that guy anymore. I reached out and asked her if she was friends with him and she said he was a jerk narcissist and she'd ended the friendship and had nothing to do with him. So I added her back to social media a few years ago but we pretty much never talked much except commenting on each other's Facebook posts occasionally. I'm pretty sure that in person we only hung out only once. She's nice but socially unaware and just talks over me so I wasn't really that keen to hang out much or anything. I don't actually have any problem with her though and was happy to be acquaintances and talk or meet occasionally sort of thing. R is getting married in a couple of weeks and ages ago she did invite me to her wedding ceremony, but not to her actual wedding. I didn't actually mind because we're not close at all so it's totally understandable. If I was free I was (and am) going to attend the wedding ceremony. A few weeks ago R invited me to her hens' night/bachelorette party. I thought that was nice of her and RSVP'd on Facebook as going. I was just being silly and posted in the event asking: "Is there any kind of dress code? Will there be penis things?" One of R's bridesmaid's, let's call her Cat, replied nicely that penis straws are OK but nothing over the top. Then a couple of weeks later, R private messaged me on Facebook and she asked could I help the bridesmaids plan her hens night? She has only two bridesmaids and one of them is actually in another state. She is locked in her state due to very high COVID there and borders out of her state are closed. She can't attend the hens night and possibly not even the wedding. This is the one called Cat* who does seem nice just from her online communication. R added me to the group chat with her and her two bridesmaids. The other bridesmaid, let's call her Viv, is R's best friend but I've never met her before. This was already two weeks after I'd made that post asking about the dress code. Viv commented on it and was being quite rude. She wrote something like: "R does NOT WANT anything penis or men, she wants this to be tasteful. Please respect that." Or something along those lines. Then she private messaged me on Facebook and was like: "R is upset because I suggested going to Magic Mike male stripper show and it triggered a panic attack in her because of something bad in her past. I already overstepped so we don't want anything like what you were saying." I thought she was incredibly rude because my post was old and I had no idea about what they were talking about in that group chat like Magic Mike or whatever because I hadn't even been added to that Facebook chat until much later. I just apologised and said I didn't know all that and also deleted my post from the event and apologised in the group chat. Then the bridesmaid called Cat actually said in the chat that yes R wants penis straws and can I get penis straws. R confirmed this in the chat. So the two bridesmaids were saying totally different things! Then Cat asked me can I be in charge of decorations. I suggested I buy cute headbands for the guests like cat ears, devil horns and so on. They said yes that's great and that I need to buy for 15 people. Then Cat later asked me can I buy a balloon bouquet! R said yes I want one. Cat did say something like: "Thank you so much girls, you are amazing, I'm really sorry I can't be there." So OK she actually sounds nice and appreciative. However what I'm really angry about is that Viv was so rude to me for basically no reason and went off at me even though it was HER that said about Magic Mike male strippers. Also R and I are not close at all and I feel like she's just using me to help plan the hens because her other bridesmaid can't actually come. I'm not even invited to the wedding! Also in the chat it looked like Viv is only just booking a restaurant and an arcade game bar. It didn't look like she's buying anything for the hens. But I understand as a bridesmaid she probably spent money on her bridesmaid dress and other expenses but that's not actually my problem. Anyway I guess I'm just mainly venting. I'm trying not to be mad and to look at it from the perspective that I've been invited to the hens and wedding ceremony and it's nice to be included like that. Also maybe it's some kind of honour to be asked to help? The reason why I don't feel good about all this is because we're not close at all. If it was a close friend and I was invited to the wedding I'd spend all that money and more. It's actually not about the money but it's the fact this whole situation is weird and frustrating.
  3. My best friend (23, F) of 3 years blocked me on Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, and even Tiktok. Let’s call her Abby. Abby blocked my fiancé and our other best friend , Natalie, as well. This occurred a couple days ago on Tuesday night. However, I found out the next day when I tried to send her a message on Snapchat. And it stated I needed to add her, then her thread disappeared (indicating she blocked me). However, before I realized she blocked us, she sent our friend group chat a message apologizing for not replying back to us and that she had a horrible breakdown the night before. Including that she cut everyone off but that she was “back and good now.” My other friend (Natalie) and I replied back letting her know to not worry, take care, and that we loved her. But she never apologized or mentioned the reason for blocking us. Yesterday, she unblocked us and requested to follow us back, only on Snapchat and Instagram. I did notice she unblocked me on Twitter and Tiktok but didn’t try following me back. I assume maybe she doesn’t want me to see what she’s up too. *** this best friend of mine is my bridesmaid for my wedding that is coming up in August. She is starting to become depressed. I’ve noticed she tends to ignore and isolate her close friends when she is going through a tough time. However, this time it seems serious. It makes me feel like she doesn’t want to be my friend. I feel conflicted. I have given her space but it’s giving me doubts on whether or not I should have her in my wedding party. I want to be there for her and I do care for her but this is a lot for me. I’ve asked close family and friends for advice and they say that she may not be my true friend or showing her true colors because she blocked only her best friends but no one else on social media. what should I do?
  4. Together for 5 years engaged for 1.5 years and no matter what happened good, great or otherwise he never set a date or would let me set a date. We did pre-engagement counseling and 6 weeks of marriage counseling classes through church (required for the pastor to officiate the ceremony) and within last year did 7 months of coupleÂ’s counseling. During this time of intently working toward marriage we worked out a lot of major and minor details to support a healthy marriage, wanting kids, how to raise the kids, religon and church to go to, living arrangement and down to small exercises about who does laundry and who folds etc. Understanding things can be flexible, but the goal was to discover the small things that can cause issues in the first years of marriage and have them worked out. So we also set who'd handle finances and who'd handle house items etc. So we took marriage seriously mostly initiated by him because of him, but in the end I appreciated it and felt it would all help us in our marriage. We worked through some of his hang ups about marriage, but what we could never get past was his ideal that literally every concern he has about possible issues in a marriage be addressed before ever getting married. It was impossible. The couple's counselor a licensed physcologist who had been married for almost 20 years after hearing all ascertained that my fiance blow smalls things up into bigger issues than they are and told my fiance that basically you can't get a 100% guarantee on everything before marriage. There will be things, before and after that may need to be worked through you need make the commitment to marriage that will make the difference. For me the physiologist pointed out that I have a stronger personality than my fiance, I had to adjust my tone and how I speak during issues, mainly loud speaking. He also pointed out to my fiance everyone has different personalities so it's not a reason not to marry unless you determine that it's a dealbreaker. I'd been single for 5 years when I met my fiance and I was pretty open about my personality from the beginning. I knew it was strong, loud and passionate, but I have worked on adjusting and made improvements. I know because others have realized it. So I was not surprised when my fiance let it be known that my personality was not dealbreaker and he understands me. Instead he takes disagreements that we have and blow them up into marriage threatening issues. When he would not propose I told him that he was doing that, after we were engaged and having a professional psychologist witness it when he helped us work through one that happened while we were in counseling I have it confirmed that my fiance makes mountains out of molehills to become barriers to marriage. After 5 years of this I am tired, but felt like we could still move forward get married and have a committed relationship. So after almost 1.5 years and not date I got discouraged and thought that I didn't want to get married and deal with this anymore. We had some very bad life events happen with close family member and some other issue not related to the relationship that put a strain and while we pulled through for the most part and worked together as a couple there was an area where I felt he was there. I expressed that to him and instead of him addressing it he used it as a reason to distance himself to the point of him telling me he was going to call me back one day and never did for 3 weeks. I admit I was dealing with some insecurities with the engagement without a wedding date and also feeling like I had to push so hard for the engagement to happen and now feeling the same way to actually get married. I needed for us to talk every day after work. I made sure, but there would be days he'd not contact me all day including after his work whereas he use to. Out of frustration when he did it that last time I did not call him either. I'd expressed to him how it bothers me especially when I am dealing with us not being married and living together at least I need to for us to be in sync as if we are engaged to be married. So just like there would be an issue with him not coming home one night if married it's an issue if he does not call. I always get something like he was going to and fell asleep or did not feel well or he was going to call but I called first. So this time I was pissed and said since he always say he was going to call I said let's see and once again I was let down, he did not call. 3 weeks passed and while I'd broken up with him in my head, I called him and had the desire to repair. To my shock this man said he was going to call when his family that was visiting him left the NEXT MONTH. He felt that telling me when they asked for me and why I had not come to see them when they arrive he told them I was busy because he wanted to protect our relationship and that was proof that he was going to call. He also claims that while he did not call me had taken some steps toward us getting married two weeks before I called him. The whole situation bothered me because he then tried to make it seem like I'd been the one that had not contacted him for three weeks because I did not want to deal with the issues outside the relationship that was going on during that time. I disputed that and once I presented the detail he admitted he had not called because he was upset about my refusal to help him with looking something up on the internet that he asked me to and he questioned marrying me since I was supposed to be someone he would share his life with. So instead of discussing it with me he once again made it something to question us marrying and at something he admitted was small. At this point we are engaged for 1.5 years and this is seeming like this is why he refuses to set a wedding date. It confirmed that for me when he bought up an items we'd addressed in couple's counseling and was settled and he bought it up as if it was something that was recent issue. I told him nothing changed with how we both addressed it during couple's counseling so I did not know why he was bringing it back up as it was not settled. So he let that go. To shorten this I told him I as always I was willing to discuss the issue we had about what happened right before he stopped calling, but I did not feel it was something that we could not talk through and don't to feel like our getting married was being held hostage of over these talks. So I wanted to set a wedding date so we'd be talking through this understanding we have a commitment instead of feeling like he was determining if we should get married or not. Well the date we set to go the park to talk about setting the wedding date and plan he decided to tell he don't think we are meant to be together because I had not helped him look up the info on the internet. To give you the contrast that same month it happened we'd had so many things outside the relationship to deal with on both sides, including death of my family member, and I did not have to time to give all my focus to wedding and marriage. At that point I guess he was not use to that being my main focus he asked me do I want to still get married I said yes and he said ok he was thinking October, but never said more details or went on to discuss more specifics. It was consistent with the year before I'd suggested October even sat with him at the wedding venue and he would not pick a date. Eventually the reason he gave was he needed to save up more money. When the money became available he used it for something else. When he told me we were not meant to be together I knew it was because he knew there was no other way to avoid setting a wedding date and he'd come back later to say and do whatever to allow up keep going as engaged without setting a date of actually getting married. This was confirmed by his actions which I won't go into detail, but eventually after talking he once again came to me and said he doesn't want to lose me and wants to get married. By this time I my defenses were up and nothing but a committed date and action from him would bring them down. So I asked him when and was quiet so I told him he was dropping breadcrumbs and that's fine he can drop his breadcrumbs, but they won't do. He left. I sent him several articles about the effects of long engagements when both people don't agree on it also about when engagements happened a wedding date should be set or it can cause resentment. That was almost 3 weeks ago and I have not heard anything from him. I keep going from just letting it go and never speaking to him to formally contacting him to confirm we are done to waiting to see if he comes around which I will pick right back up at setting a wedding date. At this point I don't think I can ever contact him again if he does not reach out because there seems to be nowhere to go, I just will not remain stalled and seeming trying to prove to him we are okay to get married. It seems he will use absolutely anything as a barrier to getting married. It seemed that way about getting engaged, but eventually he proposed, but it just lead to going through the same thing with actually trying to get married. Would it be the same thing if we got married feeling like I have to pull drag and prove everything. Does it even matter now we have not spoken in 3 weeks? Do people actually end an enagagment by never speaking? What do I do? I feel like if I contact him it's just condoning the pattern and it's pointless because even thought he said he still wants to get married instead of setting a date he is okay with not speaking to me in 3 weeks? Was I pushing him into something he did not want to do? Should it be this hard?
  5. Hi, everyone ! sorry, my English isn't perfect but I hope you understand me! I studied in Austria for 3.5 years ,but I am from Moscow and wanted to move back later, because I never had a plan to live somewhere instead of my home town ( so you understand that this is about love and not about visas or anything else ). But I fell in love with Austrian so deep and we were together for 3.5 years, my whole study time . I never had such feelings he was my whole world .He is also a student but much more adult (mentally) than any other student in their 27( I thought so) . I have never experienced such understanding and acceptance and he has always said that I am "the love of his life". I never asked anything and was with him through all the most difficult times when he was in hospital due to kidney disease and when he had depression . When I graduated (was on media faculty) the lockdown started and everything was closed, in order to find a job for me, as for non EU citizen I should have find a job with at least 2600 euro salary also in the media field, + I would need work permition. Of course, it was hardly possible with Corona situation. But my bf promised me that he would never allow me to fly away from him, he wants children from me in the future and cannot live without me . I trusted him more than anyone else in the world and even when I was in Moscow ,I was looking for job so that I could pay for our apartment myself in the future and he could focus on his masters degree. And after 2 months of searching and distance, he asked the most important question: "will u marry me ?" … I was so happy . This of course would not mean that I would just sit and do nothing ,it was just a possibility to be together again and I would work and he would study. I already bought a dress and prepared documents and he was overjoyed too, it was his decision... And then suddenly he cancelled everything !!! He explained that it was all true, and he loves me but he is not ready and has to study (as a person I understand him, but as a woman, it broke my heart ). How can you first make a proposal and then just leave me when I've already canceled everything at home and have explained to my parents. I went through it and still stayed in touch with him every day because I just can't live without this person ... and I told him that I'm willing to wait for him for 2 years and then we can both work and until then we can be in distance relationship, and he was again so inconsistent "distance relationships" he doesn't want ,he doesn't want to get married either ,but he loves me and blah blah blah ... what is that please ?? I'm trying to explain it to myself with western mentality cause it is different and maybe it's impossible to imagine getting married for European after 3.5 years even if it's just paper and I'm not a helpless person who can't do anything alone ... I talked to my girlfriends and everyone said " it's not a man ,leave him he just doesn't want you ,it wasn't love etc ". Of course for me as a Russian ,when we're all a bit dramatic and are used to men fighting for us and doing everything for us ,it's hard to understand... But he's from other family background and I don't understand everything yet . I wanted to ask you is it really just mentality that he just doesn't feel ready until 35 and is rational and even love can't change his ideas . Or are all men the same and if he really loved me, he would never cancel everything ... Should I wait for him and hope that he is simply "lost" and support or does it simply mean "end of the story"??! It really hurts, I would do anything for him but just want to understand if it has any sense .. Thank you for the answers.
  6. Hello dear ones, Thou we don’t know each other, I’m grateful we have this very unbiased portal to share our thoughts. Here’s my story and I’ll try to make it short. I just got married to my amazing boyfriend 3 weeks ago at city hall of our country. It costed like $50 and that’s all. We went for dinner just the 2 of us that night to celebrate and that’s it. I’m glad we could blame the covid 19 situation for not being able to have the smallest get together with friends, the truth is we couldn’t afford it. I’m in my late 30’s. Have worked all my life to support my siblings and pay their university costs until they just graduated, which left me with no savings and as soon as they got out of my university, found jobs to support themselves; which we feel blessed about. My husband on the other hand has a simple job and is very underpaid thou he is such a smart guy logical educated and heart of gold. My business is struggling so he is the sole bread winner for now until I Can help him again. All this said, I always thought weddings can also mean wearing a ring but he clearly couldn’t afford it. He was married before and has a house with his ex wife (no kids) and when they divorced 2 years ago it isn’t still sure if she will pay him his share if she ever decides to sell it. They are great friends thank god. I still dream of the day I can wear a simple wedding dress, have a ring; is it wrong for me to think this way? I’ve always imagined it. I’m always very nice to my husband and he knows how I feel but poor guy isn’t able to do anything about it for the moment. How can I calm myself and stop thinking pity on myself and god forbid sabotage our wonderful relationship? Thank you in advance.
  7. Hi everyone, I'm sorry in advance if this turns out to be a long post or if it sounds overly emotional/confusing. I am in desperate need of advice and have no one to turn to. Right now, my mind is a mess..I am shocked, sad, and drowning in my own tears My story: I'm in a committed LDR for the past 4 years with my boyfriend. He lives in Texas and I'm in Canada. We have made frequent trips during that time as well as spoke on the phone (and internet) every day, multiple times a day for hours. He has already met my family and I flew to another country to meet his father. Since the beginning we have always talked about marriage, kids and spending our lives together. He was supposed to be "the one" for me. Yesterday I randomly ended up looking him up on a search engine. I had done this once when we were first dating, but it was more curiosity at that time. Last night it was for a silly reason of hearing on the news about identity theft and they recommended you should look up loved ones on a search engine to make sure no one has been using their info. And so that's what I did. I searched his email and came accross his FB profile. He had FB when we first were dating but said he rarely used it and I guess he made it difficult to search (wasn't able to find it the first time I looked).. And I'm not on FB so I wouldnt really be able to check otherwise. Anyway, there was his profile with one pic that I could see. I read the comment that someone left and it said " Nice pic! Congrats on the wedding to ****. Hope we can all go on a trip one day".....My mouth hit the floor. It hasn't left. I ended up staying up all night and found out through further googling and clicking on FB that his brother in law had posted pictures. And then I saw them.. There were 4 pictures of my boyfriend of 4 years with some other woman.. MARRIAGE PICTURES!! The date was Nov 23, 2012. I remember around that time he said he had to help his Dad with some business and also see his sister and brother in law (they all live in anther country. I haven't met his sister or brother in law btw as they live so far, but have spoken to them) and he said he was going to his cousin's wedding and he needed to go as he missed so many family weddings growing up. I stupidly believed him. I checked my old texts and he had written before he left, "I love you so much. I'll miss you and would much rather be coming to see you". He kept in touch through texts and we spoke a few times, but he said he had issues connecting his phone. Truthfully I don't even know where he got married or if he ever left, as the pics say Houston. And if he did get married how/why was he txting and calling me like nothing happened, telling me that he went to some relatives house and that he was helping with the cousins wedding etc??...I just can't understand any of this. The worst part of last night was seeing this other woman (this pretty doctor) and when I clicked on her profile she had a wedding picture of my bf, his father and her as her cover. I was able to click on the only 4 pictures I could see (because of privacy settings!) and they were all of the wedding. One was a picture of both of them at a club hugging. It was dated a few months ago, a couple weeks after my birthday. I literally collapsed on the floor after seeing all of this...shaking, crying, stunned. I pulled up old pictures of us together just to make sure this was him. I felt like I was going crazy and kept telling myself, that maybe this was some other guy who just really looked like him. But it wasn't. I feel like I'm living in a nightmare This past year has been hell on me since I have had some ongoing health issues, and I even briefly considered not being with him a few months ago as I didn't want to make his life harder because I was so sick. I stupidly have always thought of him. I have been 100% faithful to his man. I just can't understand how anyone can do this to someone. I couldn't even imagine doing this to my worst enemy. It's not like he had some arranged marriage, because he looks happy and he has always told me that he is an independent man. He had a past marriage that failed and during the first part of our relationship we spoke at length about what he went through and how she took him for a ride. (Who knows if that's true or not) I always was on his side about his role in his marriage and helped him through whatever traumas he had dealt with in his childhood (his mom and brother passed away when he was young). Our relationship has had some ups and downs like every relationship, but we were happy I thought. If there were ever times when we did fight, he always pushed for us to stay together. Ive even heard him cry on the phone about us always staying together..Were those even real tears or maybe just crocodile tears? Our last call yesterday he was telling me how excited he was to have children with me one day and he started asking me about how we should plan our future..where we wanted to live, etc. Im confused as to how can he be married to someone else and have a full relationship with me. Making me believe that we have this amazing future together when really I have nothing. Telling me each and every day that he's in love with me. Words which I really believed. I don't know if I became the other woman or was she dating him before me, and I'm the other woman. Whichever way it is, its absolutely horrible. I feel like the floor has fallen from under me. I have thought about flying to Houston so that I can find this other woman and tell her the truth about her supposed perfect husband. I know you may think it's wrong to do so, but my life has been destroyed by this so why should he be able to just continue with his with no repercussions. It's not something that I ever would like to do, as I'm sure she thinks the world of him too, but why should he just escape blame free??? Plus he's ruining her life too, by having this relationship with me. I have also thought of just showing up unannounced and seeing how he reacts and confronting him them. A part of me wants him to see the pain he has caused face to face because right now I feel disposable and like I'm toy that he's playing with and will one day just throw away. I love this man with all my heart..more than any one else I have ever loved. But this is the worst thing that someone you love can do to you. Sadly, I have been cheated on before, but never like this. And my boyfriend knew that I was cheated on previously and he always said he would take care of me so I never get hurt. All lies I guess I really don't know how I can move on from this.I feel like I can't believe in anyone anymore. I am imagining just closing myself from perpetual hurt and just living alone forever. I feel like its one bad relationship after the next. I don't even know if any of this relationship was real..was every moment we shared a lie??? I don't know why he has decided to continue to make me feel like he's my boyfriend and we have this perfect life together..I would have more respect for him if he has just broke it off with me before he decided to marry this girl. Actually I don't think I'll ever have respect for him. What should I do? Do I just confront him on the phone or should I travel there? Should I contact her? Please help!!!
  8. My fiancé and I have been together for almost 5 years and we got engaged a couple months ago before Christmas. When we first started dating, I never had any issues with his sister (I actually thought she was the coolest!). However, as time went on, I realized she really didn’t like me. She looked at me like the person taking him away from family because he was spending all his time with me (we moved in together, moved to another state together for work). She would make snide comments and just generally rude to me (to my face and behind my back). I let it roll off my shoulders because I’m not great at confrontation. When he told her he was planning to propose, she told him not to do it and basically that I’m an awful person to marry. Same thing when we got engaged- not a happy reaction AT ALL. It was tough to see someone so upset about us getting engaged when we were so excited to take this step together, but again, let it slide because it wasn’t worth the confrontation. We went to dinner with her, his mom and uncle to celebrate the holidays and at dinner they asked about wedding plans. My fiancé told them we were barely started with planning but had a guest list and were planning to have an adult only wedding (no kids). She took this incredibly personally (she has a 4 y/o daughter) and became very upset in the restaurant. LONG STORY SHORT... She got incredibly angry (honestly borderline pure rage) and blew up in the restaurant. She began screaming at me (blaming me), cussing at me, telling me I’m a terrible and manipulative person. I said nothing back because I was purely shocked by her reaction and in tears. I got up to remove myself from the situation (it was humiliating and quite a scene in the restaurant) and she then chased me out of the restaurant trying to physically assault me. My fiancé had to physically restrain her to prevent her from actually hurting me. I don’t know how to handle her and our relationship. I’m terrified of this person and the level of rage she is capable of reaching. She clearly hates me and does not support our decision to get married. Bottom line is I don’t want her at my wedding.... Am I wrong if I don’t invite her? Any thoughts?
  9. Post your most memorable movie quotes (or dialogue) here. I'm thinking not necessarily the most well known (Life is a box of chocolates), but those which stuck with you for some reason. If you wanna say why its memorable to you, even better. To start: From "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas" (major paraphrasing) Mona Stangley : And Jesus went to a wedding where he turned the water into wine Sheriff Earl Dodd: He was a great man, and he knew how to throw a party Mona: Earl, I can't believe you said that, that's sacrilegious Earl: I know, I know. But God forgives me. Mona: Ain't it funny how God can for give you, but people can't? Earl: I suppose that's because people aint very God-like I was a teenager when I saw this scene. Growing up, we were taught that our parents' word was infallible. I was starting to realize this wasn't true, and they were often unfair. Seeing this scene brought it home that people truly aren't "God-lkie"
  10. I am at a point in my life where I am reeling from what happened to me. I am in a state of cognitive dissonance still, so I do not think I fully comprehend what has happened to me yet. I met a guy 1.5 years ago on Tinder. He was perfect to me, everything about him. Everything I ever wanted. It was just after the wedding invitations went out that I noticed he would say hurtful things, and apologize but it wasn't genuine whatsoever. My unease began growing, but I thought it could be wedding jitters. I had no idea what the actual issue was but I didn't feel right. I will go into detail of everything that happened and the red flags. But for now, I just want to know if anyone has ever been through something like this. Experienced severe gaslighting, lying, and feeling like the rug was pulled from underneath you in a second.
  11. Hi all, I am at a point in my life where I am reeling from what happened to me. I am in a state of cognitive dissonance still, so I do not think I fully comprehend what has happened to me yet. I met a guy 1.5 years ago on Tinder. He was perfect to me, everything about him. Everything I ever wanted. It was just after the wedding invitations went out that I noticed he would say hurtful things, and apologize but it wasn't genuine whatsoever. My unease began growing, but I thought it could be wedding jitters. I had no idea what the actual issue was but I didn't feel right. I will go into detail of everything that happened and the red flags. But for now, I just want to know if anyone has ever been through something like this. Experienced severe gaslighting, lying, and feeling like the rug was pulled from underneath you in a second.
  12. I would really appreciate any kind of advice, especially in positive sense cause i've been really in emotional mess these days.. :/ So, i'm in 6 years relationship, last 2 years in long distance relatioship due to her work in another country.. We really love each other(i think so, and i felt it so many times)..there were some difficult times when i didn't realise that we haven't spoke on video calls for a week or 10 days and it made us distant and cold..so in may this year she felt like pulling away (she said that her feelings are not like they were before)..but i was sure that that was not true, and that is just some difficult period we were going through.. I was very angry on myself and tried to make things right. So i didnt tell her and i went to visit her without her knowing. She was suprised but she said that she expected it. We spent 3 days together, slept together and things wasnt as good as i expected them to be. Our connection was not like it was before..so i came back to my country dissapointed. BUT, I was wrong..when i came back, things became really good. We were on our track again, things were better than ever. So, a month later i went to her again and propose her in a really nice way. She was sooooo happy, i was sooo happy. We were engaged :) . We planned things, wedding, everything.. Wedding supposed to be on 9.11.2019 but due to some formal issues (the plan was that i would go to live in country where she lives now because its better than our country) and because of some paper and visa issues it would be better to do it next year, probably may 2020. So, today is 12.12.2019 and she was here with me in october and november for 10 days each month, and now im going on 27.12.2019 to her on new years eve.. But, these last 5-6 days she is feeling really.cold for.me, we havent spoke whats happening but it really seems.for me a similar situation from may.. I hope it is not the case, but i'm really worried what is going to happen. I can't think about anything else. We are so close to achieve all of our goals, and yet this is happening now. So people, please if you have some advice for me, how should i act, what should i ask, and of course what is your opinion on this.. LOOKING FORWARD TO SEE YOUR COMMENTS 🙏
  13. Some examples, and no they weren't all said in 1 day Jokingly saying he put money aside for wedding [don't really think he did?] Oh we should get married and come back and tell everyone! Talking about what the wedding would be like. Jokingly saying "we should just get married" Drove past a ring place and he was like "oh I need to go there to get your ring!" Joked saying I don't know what hes getting me for Christmas and it'll be a real knee jerker, and joked about getting down on his knee. Brought up noticing a wedding dress place. Joked about proposing for Christmas and that's what I get for Christmas. ….THEN TWO DAYS before Christmas made a joke about this place that says plaques and said Oh you get best girlfriend, best fiancé award. A WEEK before Christmas he asked my ring size. Why wouldn't I think he was going to do it?? Soo of course I expected a proposal today and nope. that's my own fault, but is it? He keeps hinting all this and making comments and I cant lie but feel disappointed. Yes, I know talking about it on the internet isn't the way to go but right now im not ready to talk to him about it. So am I overreacting? How to handle this? Yes we've been together 2 years, have a kid together, and yes we've discussed marriage before. I feel like he built me up...and then nothing.I'm not the one who continually joked about it. Judge if you must, but i'm slightly upset..
  14. I (33F) just got dumped by my boyfriend (31M) of a little bit over a year. To give the situation context - we work together and he had pursued me. We committed to one another after about 4 months of dating. He was never hesitant to introduce me to his family and we hung out with his friends on a regular basis. He was the best person I’ve ever been with, always affectionate and available. I never questioned him or how he felt about me. I genuinely thought he loved me and that our future would fall into place. He was my best friend and my home. He had never told me he loved me, but I had been too scared to tell him too even though I knew I did. I was never scared because I didn’t believe he felt the same way.. I just felt like we’d both held off for so long that we sort of got stuck. I also come from a relatively troubled childhood that has caused me to be hesitant to openly talk about my feelings without being asked. I had planned on telling him on our 1 year, when we had made our relationship official. A few weeks ago he had went to visit his family across the state. Seemed like a normal trip, we talked the whole time he was gone. Sunday he came back and after an awkward call, he came by to tell me he needed to talk. I could tell he was upset. He said his parents had brought up his future plans.. asked if he planned on living with me and he didn’t have an answer. They encouraged him to talk to me about how he was feeling. He said he felt like after a year, that he should know that he wants those things with me. He also brought up a friends wedding we had just went to and how if he were up there he wouldn’t know what to say. I was in shock. I had no idea he felt that way. He’d never given me any reason to believe his feelings had changed. He seemed unsure, so I gave him a few weeks to figure it out. I had planned on minimal contact and while we talked significantly less, he continued to reach out to me almost everyday. I understand now why people say breaks are like a ty purgatory, but I love him and wanted to try to give him what I felt like he needed. I felt like the whole time I laid around feeling terrible and he spent time filling his days with stuff so he wouldn’t have to think about what happened. (Please don’t say he wanted to sleep with someone else. I’m very sure this was not the case). We came back this past weekend to talk. He said it was the first thing he thought about in the morning and the last thing before he went to bed. He brought up that wedding again. (Unrelated, the wedding thing makes me kind of angry because he focuses on their vows, but doesn’t know their story. The couple is good now, but they had at first broken up because one party was unsure and wanted to explore someone else. Iconic I guess). He said that he thought maybe in those three weeks apart, that our future would start to formulate for him, but that it didn’t. I didn’t think that was what the break was for. I’m not sure something like that could change in 3 weeks and I thought the intention was more of a “did we want to try to work on things and move forward”. I know I can’t force someone to love me, but the whole thing just feels so bad and wrong. I’ve had a few serious relationships.. and while the breakups hurt, I could always recognize faults in the person, as well as our relationship. I cried and was upset, but in the end I knew the decision was right, regardless of whether or not I was the dumper or the dumpee. This time doesn’t feel that way. It feels like we’re throwing away something so good. The way I feel about him is deep. I felt like we could always be our true selves around each other and I never wanted to change him. I trusted him with my entirety, He told me he still wanted to be there for me, but I told him I couldn’t talk to him anymore.. that it just hurt too much. It’s not that I don’t want to because I do, more than anything. It just hurts too much. So I guess I’m going no contact. I don’t know what else to do. I know it’s naive, but there’s part of me that hopes this will be the true break that he needs to figure out his stuff. I’m going to try to make it all the way through the holidays.. if at the end I feel like he’s still my future, I’ll consider reaching out. I know everyone’s first response is to say to that when someone says they don’t see a future with you, that it’s a sign to leave. But does anyone have any stories about a change of heart? Is there any hope at all that no contact will bring us back? Could he have panicked about weddings and the idea of moving in together? He’s over 30 and has never lived with a significant other.
  15. I have been with my girlfriend for 2.5 years. I will be proposing this month. Whenever we get dressed up to go out she wears her wedding band (not engagement ring) from her ex on her right ring finger. I thought this was weird so I asked her about it. She told me that she just thinks it is a pretty ring and that she likes to wear it. She said that when they got married he made her buy her own wedding band and that he did not spend a dime on it or even go with her to pick it out. So to her it has no meaning (it's just another ring). She told me that she divorced him after 3 months together because they had zero connection and he treated her badly. I can kind of see where she is coming from saying it's just a ring to her, but the fact that it was meant to be a wedding ring still bugs me a little bit. Am I being ridiculous?
  16. This is a followup on a post I recently put up.. I met this very attractive girl Saturday night at my sister's wedding. Towards the end, I approached her and we had a good conversation. She asked plenty of questions and seemed very educated and polite. I asked for her number and she gave it to me. I waited until Monday night to call and she didn't answer. I called twice Tuesday night, no answer either. I said it would be my very last attempt tonight (Wednesday), and that's precisely when she picked up, finally. She told me that she doesn't pick up when unknown numbers call her, and especially does not return the call, so obviously she never knew it was me calling. Anyway, she was very nice, but apparently I caught her at a bad time - there was a lot of racket in the background. She was in her cousin's house and they were packing for a cruise they're going on this weekend. She still saved my number. She asked me if I could call her back tomorrow, or that she'd call me. I said great, nice talking to you, and that was it.. So the question is.. should I call her or should I wait for her to call me? I'm starting to think she isn't much of a phone person or something, but this girl seems very nice and attractive and I have a gut feeling I should pursue this. It'd be nice if she'd call - that's a reassuring way to know she's interested. Thanks guys
  17. Hey there I am gettin married on the 3rd of Sept My periods is due around that time...ouch My last cycle started on the 6th of Sept. I usually have a 30 day cycle...and have a slight pain in my right breast. But unfortunately, I got my pain today. Is there a way I could postpone my period naturally. I have tried some drug before and the subsequent cycle was very painful. So I would like to avoid drugs if possible. Also, if drugs is the only choice, do I get one OTC? Help me!!!!! Thanks, Mia
  18. Okay I'm just gonna kind of ramble here, so I apologize if this turns into something really long! Over the holidays I got engaged. Some of you know my situation: Long distance relationship and all that. It's been really amazing and we are EXTREMELY excited! But I don't know... for some reason in my mind I thought that this was going to be easy. There's so much! I've been engaged for two weeks, and already we've started planning, even though the wedding isn't for... what? 18 and a half months? We already have so much done! It's crazy! I'm not stressed about the wedding, really. I think my stress lies in the fact that I'm using it as an escape. Focusing on the planning is what is keeping my mind busy. It's keeping me from thinking about the fact that, once again, we're separated by thousands of miles. I haven't dealt with it like I should. He cried twice the day he left! And he isn't an overly emotional guy! I haven't cried at all. While I'm not STRESSED about the actual planning, there's also a lot to be done, and so much of it has to get put on the back burner until I get a new job so I have money! We have a lot of details nailed down, but there's a lot of work still to be done. Which is fine because we have so much time, I know. I guess I'm kind of freaked out that, even though we have 18 months, we have so much to do that we need to start doing things NOW. That, in itself, is overwhelming. The good thing is that we went in a totally different direction with the ceremony than I thought we would. All my life I've envisioned the classic wedding: big hall, huge dress, and everyone in the world that we know attending. And of course it would cost an arm and a leg. That would have taken a lot of planning and there would have been a ton of tiny details to figure out. But now we're going with a very small ceremony- a themed wedding, actually. And the venue is sort of all-inclusive, in a way. And while I know that should take a load off as far as details go, in a way it makes it more difficult. I've spent my whole life deciding how I would handle those little details, and now they aren't there. Having that "unknown" adds stress more than it relieves it. I won't have the familiar around. The wedding is in his city, 2,800 miles from where I live. It's at an annual Renaissance Festival that he has attended many times but I have never been to. We are making the outfits for almost the entire wedding party, including my fiance and his three attendants, all of whom live there in Pittsburgh, making it hard to get a proper fit for their clothes..... I love this idea for our wedding, don't get me wrong! It's very unique and it will be incredibly memorable. I just have no clue how to handle a wedding! LOL! I truly believe that all of this just comes with the territory of being a bride-to-be. I just have no idea how to handle it all in stride. I guess I just need encouragement... Advice... ANYTHING anyone can offer to help me survive! ..... okay... I'm done venting now.
  19. Can anybody help me make a sexy, erotic and funny wedding anniversary toast? It's my friend's 8th Weding Anniversary. Tipu link removed
  20. So here's the story. Exgirlfriend and I broke up after having arguments a lot and her basically looking for other guys on the net at the very end of our relationship. We broke up and she immediately started dating other guys she met online (we live together by the way ) For the past 2 months she has been living at her parents house since she is student teaching while I am living in our apartment at college. She called me yesterday saying how her weekend was horrible because she went to her best friends wedding with her new man and her Ex (previous to me) was there and his gf was being mean to her. So she says she doesn't want that to happen between us and she wants us to be friends. I just don't understand how that is possible. She treated me like dirt at the end of our relationship. She complained all the time that I work too much (I work saturday and sunday and well someone has to pay the bills and save up money for a wedding) and she basically didn't work at all. I just don't know how I could be friends with her after all this..... oh yeah background info (we still live together because we have a lease signed until december when we both graduate and I get the heck out of here )
  21. Hello all. I am ashamed even asking this, as i feel it is somewhat pathetic that i am relying on a man to fulfill me, but here goes.. I am 24 years old and I have been with my bf (24) for 4 years and we have lived together for 3 1/2 years. After living together for almost a year he proposed to me. I said yes and for a month and a half we were engaged. After that, his parents began to fight with me and him about it. they even refused to come at one point. It got intense and I moved out. We got back together a week later and decided not to talk about the marriage again.... Well that was 2 and1/2 years ago and he still says that he isn't ready. The fights with his family were bad. they did not like me and told him so. I tried very hard to get them to like me...homeade bday cakes, homemade presents etc... It peaked and now they appear to like me or at least tolerate me. As a couple we are very happy, but when a wedding is on t.v or a friend gets married(as is happening more) he freaks out still! He doesn't even want to associate with friends that are married now! I know he feels really bad about hurting me and I also know he really cares for me. I just feel like I have been demoted. I have told him my feelings, but it gets us no where. as long as a wedding isn't brought up we r ok. I love him and I want to get married like we originally planned. Will he ever ask me again???? Please help!!!
  22. Okay, please respond a.s.a.p. I really could use you help! A couple weeks ago I found my boyfriend cheating on me, this forum really helped me out. Well, I stayed with him and we are working things out. I am away at college and I am trying to do more things on my own and find myself. WEll, I called on this volunteer opportunity and they called me back today! It sounds REALLY interesting and I want to do it. This weekend they have a retreat for all of the volunteer leaders and it is a weekend event. I really want to do this because I think that it would be GREAT for me!! A chance to make new friends and actually do something for myself for once! The thing is is that this Saturday I told an old friend from high school that I would go to her wedding! I rarely ever talk to her and I was basically invited just bc her fiance's family is good friends with my boyfriend's family. I told my boyfriend this and he said that I should do what I want to do, but I can NEVER make up my mind! I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but at the same time I am hurting myself for not participating. Please help me make the right decision, should I go to the wedding or have a weekend of fun without anyone I know (which is really brave for me!!!) Please reply if you read this, THANKS!
  23. I am in university and everday i see many amazing girls who i could date, but i have no idea if any of them (or which ones) are single. Often i talk with some and they seem so friendly and nice and then i think they must be single if they talk to other guys like this...and then i find out they are already with someone. Anyway, is there any way of knowing if someone is single, apart from looking for a wedding ring???
  24. I just met this beautiful girl last week. and she likes me and i really like her i had seen her once before at my cousins wedding, and the day after my cousin said that she liked me. well its been a long time since the wedding and i finally got to meet her. on new years eve she gave me a call and she was crying. me and my cousin spent like 2 hours talking to her and trying to comfort her. then she said "i barely know you but i think your Ok" I was gonna say something like " i think ur really nice and i want to get know u better and be more than friends." something like that i would have said something better cuz my cousin was there to help. so the next day i go over to her house and bring her flowers. she liked them and she gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. it wasnt one of those that you get like just to say hi. i wanted to ask her to be my girlfriend but i just didnt know how to say it. and my cousin was there too. i need sometihng to say that i want her to be my girlfriend that i can use on the phone or when i am with my cousin. i only see her when i am with my cousin
  25. For those who have read past post this might make a little more sense. Ok, I went to the wedding, everything was cool I had a really great time. My ex and I where in the wedding. But hardly spoke at all, just nice hi's and bye's and small talk. But her best friend was all up my a** with qustions like; am I bringing somebody, do I have a girl friend, and so on. Any way, by my ex's actions I was guessing she really didn't care much about anything any more so I was on the phone with this girl I'm seeing and she wanted to come by. So as I was talking with her some other girl on the couch (who I think was there just to take pictures) looked at me and said "not a good idea". This through me off, so I got off the phone and asked why. (She had been in the back room drinking with all the brides maids and came out to get something when she herd me on the phone) I guess my ex had been talking about me cause no one knew this girl.) I stated how it seems like she dosn't care any more, and she replied with "she cares". This took me off guard. This whole time for the almost 4 monts we've been apart, I started to let go, and now this... If a girl thinks and or wonders about her ex, why do they send the friend to scout for info? Why can't they just talk to us? It's kinda a turn off. Though my heart did jump when I herd she still cared. But it would have nice to hear it from her. So sense where still playing this game to act like we dont care any more. What can I do? Should I call her and see if she wants to go somewhere and talk for a while? I'm lost, but happy.
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