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flower99

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Everything posted by flower99

  1. flower99
    Hi Emma (: This must be hard on you. hard to be comparing yourself to her & feeling less everytime. But the biggest thing here, is how do you feel about yourself? And also, I just looked her up on the internet (I wasn't sure who she was)and really, I don't think she's anything specail. It's all a matter of opinion. The horrible boy thinks she's amazing. Let him live in fantasy land. Because you are no longer with him. And his opinion doesn't really matter anymore so don't let it affect your self worth. Emma, You are beautiful & special. You have a good boyfriend now who I'm sure would agree. Your obsession with her, is tieing you back with the horrible ex. Don't let it. Cut yourself free from him & all he loves.
  2. flower99
    This says it all for me. If I'm paying for it, than I can't afford to fail it. And If I'm paying for it - than it means something to me. I won't waste it. I was offered support when I was 18 to go back to school. I choose not to take it mainly because i knew I would waste it (I didn't want it bad it enough) At 19 I ended up pregnant. I than felt the need for school, only my parents offer was no longer available. It meant enough to at this time in my life for me to do it on my own. I couldn't afford to fail so i work hard & passed with a 90 average. Had I had something to fall back on, I don't think I would have tried so hard. I think having support at the right time with the right drive could be a huge benefit. Depends on the person & the drive. But just because others sometimes take it for granateed & may not accomplish what they should, doesn't mean that will happen with you. I like I'mthatgirl's words...she says it well (:
  3. flower99
    page 6 he dumps her..... So YEAH!!! and yeah, someones life, isn't a joke
  4. flower99

    Honesty

    flower99 replied to easyguy's topic in Personal Growth

    Good observation. I used to lie a lot, Now I am a lot more honest (try to be anyways) but I notice I still lie to some friends, rather than just saying i really don't feel like hanging out...I make excuses & make something up. And you're right, I feel guilty & have to remember who I lied to & when so I don't contridict myself. The more I lie, the heavier the weight to carry. Being honest, means carrying a lighter load. It really does leave you feeling better about oneself & happier.
  5. flower99
    I'm sure you have treated her well without judgments, that's why she trusts you & confides in you...yeah it's hard listening to the consipiricy thearies, but I'm sure you handled it well That's awesome the father in law is getting them into rehab. Wish you all the best.
  6. flower99
    Well if you want roommate 1, stoping playing around with roomate 2. If I was in roommate 1's position....i would now be wondering why couldn't you tell roommate 2 you didn't think you two would make a good couple. If you believe true feelings come out when your drunk & she was all over you, than you should have cleared that up. You didn't blow it, but do things right & stop flirting & playing around with roommate 2 if you want roommate 1. Girls look for loyalty.
  7. flower99
    Give it a try, but if you do....be sure to hide your disappointment, don't act shocked, act calm, like it's not a big deal, but be honest & encourage. When people asked me about the drugs I pushed away and was never honest. Except one friend, because of her reaction. And I knew she loved me & was by my side in a none judging way...no matter what. She told me the damages, side effects & told me she was worried. But after saying it all treated me normal like I wasn't a F*&% druggie. Sometimes I dismissed what she said while she said it, but I always thought about it later & took it to heart...her concern & loyality stood out to me & helped. most others ignored it or judged & labled me. She does seem a lot further down the hole than I was, but she confides in you....I think she'll talk to you. If you want to know....just ask her. Ask if she minds if you ask her some questions. She needs to address the issue, I'm sure she doesn't like to think about it..but she needs to. If she doesn't want to talk about it, drop it, but be honest first than change topic. But she needs to talk & here it from someone who she trusts & respects & knows that will see her as herself no matter what & be by her side.... you seem to be that person in her life. Try
  8. flower99
    I hope so to wish you the best! Since it's chritmas do me a favor okay....please see that Even in her own eyes, she treats you poorly....not like a commited loving girlfriend should. You deserve better & there is someone better for you, but as long as you remain with her...... you won't find it. I wish you happiness
  9. flower99
    Wow I'm not sure where to start. 1. He's a liar. Plain & simple. Why do you even believe him anymore???? 2. You want to work this out...But he doesn't & he doesn't try to (even if he said he did, you can't believe him) 3. You don't trust him & shouldn't. Without trust, you can't have a relationship. 4. He doesn't want commitment & you do. He's not trustworthy, he's a liar, he doesn't want a commitment and even if he said he did..you can't believe him. The fact that you felt the need to hire a PI, shows that you don't trust him or respect him, without trust you have no relationship & no hope for one. You know this is a unhealthy relationship - You've tried couselling - there is NOTHING more you can do. You need to let go, and see that maybe you two shouldn't be together. What he wants from you doesn't matter. What YOU want & need is what matters. You need honesty, faithfulness, respect, commitment, love, to be put first, to feel secure....none of those things you will get from him. You need to do No contact. Begin to heal & move on. Focus on yourself. The dance will only end when you stop letting him back in your life.
  10. flower99
    I agree This isn't your problem anymore, this is between your parents. You've done the right thing, now put those boundaries in place.
  11. flower99
    Is this the cheating she is referring too? Because when you stop a women from kissing you..that's not cheating! And that is no excuss to treat you like crap for the next number of months. You are not responsible for her behavior. I can't believe she could even blame her behavoir on you....and worse I can't believe you let her & is accepting responsibility. Stop making excusses for her. She has now told you herself she treats you like crap & is a B*$% to you, leaves you out, doesn't want you around, sure she blames you (you aren't responsible)The facts are there.....You two shouldn't be together. I know you don't enjoy being treated like this & you really don't deserve this.
  12. flower99
    Don't come out & dump her than & don't force her into an ultimatim. Talk to her, serious heart to heart. Let her know your feeling & you need to know hers. That's the only way you will put your heart & ease & get the answers you need & find out what she needs. From there, do whatever your head & heart feel is right. Maybe you'll feel better about thing and she'll prove to be faithful tonight. Maybe her words will bring no comfort. But don't think talking to her will Push her to him, she is in control of who she moves towards, not you. A healthy relationship needs open communication. How eachother feels should matter & should be expressed.
  13. flower99
    That is so sweet of you. You sound like a wonderful & caring sister, she's lucky to have you. How did things go yesterday??? How is she doing? How are you doing?
  14. flower99
    Oh sweetie, I'm sorry, this is so hard to deal with. I've been addicted to meth & I've seen this happen to friends. It wonderful you're there to help. Only thing is, you can't change her thoughts. Nothing you say is going to open her eyes make her see that it's all in her head. This is a side effect of meth...leaves you with paranoia/psychosis. is she taking any pills? are they helping? Keep being there for her, be honest with her & love her, no matter what, even if she pushes you away. Stay by her side. If she is seriously suicidal..you can't stop her unless you stay with her night & day. Honestly I wouldn't be one to do anything drastic either,psych ward, but if her life is in your hands...you have to. Who cares if she believes your in on it...you know you aren't. Plus it's the only thing that may help it's worth it...and when she's out of there, she'll understand why you did it. I'll pray for you both, I wish you luck & love. I really hope you can find a way to help
  15. flower99
    I second this If you continue this, in 4years you will be that girlfriend at home pregnant while he's out with a new women, with fresh sparks & passion. He wasn't completely honest with you, he acted on his feeling THAN, when the damage was done, told you the truth... Now question- do you really think he's a man of integrity?? do you think he has been honest with his girlfriend? because a true gentlemen & man of his word, would have told her after the first kiss, at least after the sex. How he treats the people in his life now - is how he will eventually treat you. Oh and leaving the women while she's carrying his child...not good character....it's not easy sharing parenting responsibilties for 18 years...that's a lot of drama & hard work & a life time of responsibility are you really ready for that??
  16. flower99
    Well you are an ex now, you are free to see & date who you please. But honestly, as a girl If my boyfriend became good friends with my friend, yes..I would be bothered by it. It's not 'wrong' to be someones friend, but oddly enough, I'd still question it. I would probably be more bothered with my friend than my ex.
  17. flower99
    LOVE IT!!!!!! it speaks to me, I totally identify with it....I love it!!!!
  18. flower99
    I believe that even when a couple is destined to be together. After time & struggles during the relationship, you may lose sight of eachothers needs & small things may become grow into bigger things.when that happeneds a 3rd party (therapist) could be of use & help put things back into perspective & work out some problems. When a couple is destined to be together, that doesn't mean problems will just work themselves out & you'll always know what to do. We are still human & still need help at times. (:
  19. flower99
    Totally agree! However It doesn't sound like she is adjusting or mourning. It sounds like she's living in the past & dreaming of the future with him. Believing they are still going to be together..... Similar to the widow thinking her husband is still alive & married. It's unhealthy if she continued to believe that long after the death.. there comes a point where she just has to let go...
  20. flower99
    Good Idea Redrose!!!! my SO. He's always listens to me speak my mind, He loves my views & when he disagrees...he does it in the most respectful way ever - we learn from eachother He kisses the top of my head & my hands. (I've never had that before) His arms are always open to me.
  21. flower99
  22. flower99
    Damn girl!!!! I love your attitude. You know yourself, your beauty & you know what's good for you!!! You are very right, you didn't need that crap or drama. There is someone far more suited for you, someone who will make you thier priority & love you the way you've always wanted & dreserve, love you for you! I wish you the best & a life time of happiness** You'll be okay in no time.
  23. flower99
    Oh yes....I hope you have a wonderful birthday inspite of this Happy Birthday Norway
  24. flower99
    Yes I had one similar. It went too well it seemed. We discuss who got what, divided it fairly, shared everything, helped eachother move & store things...It was good, but sad still, it was most we got along in months. But I think it was because, I knew it was for the best. Problems came a year later with him though, I guess he got along so well because he didn't believe it was over (we had a child together) but now we are back to amicable. I'm glad things are going well & you two can work together through this. It does make it easier, sad still of course, but comforting. And good to know you still can still be kind to eachother and at peace with the situation.
  25. flower99
    Oh wow, I'm so sorry Norway. But honestly (I hope you don't mind me saying this) she sounded like a drag. You had to nag her to have fun, you said she was a drama queen & you were at the end of your rope with the childish games. Do you think this was for the best? How do you feel about it?
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