flower99

Wow, I'm not sure what I would do here..this is tricky You want to be close to family, understandably so. He may want different things. Have you guys discussed your future prior to this? Either way you are now you are at a point, where he doesn't seem to want to hear you on this. And you can't make him understand you, you can try a new approch... but he has to try too & want to make this work. Someone will have to make a serious sacrifice, to remain together. are you are willing to leave him behind if he is not willing to go with you???? You need to sit him back down, when you child is asleep, and have a heart to heart. Tell him you aren't happy & miss your family. You need him & you need your family..is there a way to have both?? I wish you happiness

depressedone89 was writting while I wrote my post.......And I completely whole heartly agree!!! perfectly worded

totally agree with all the above comments!!! my mom told me once. "we hate in others what we hate in ourselves" which seems to be true with this women. She assuses you of what she is doing....possibly, because she hates that about herself ? ? ? Either way..the world is full of it. Try to keep your distance from it & you'll be okay (:

Stop caring what others think. When you go out. Pretend everyone loves you. Smile & they will smile back (: And remember everyone is shy sometimes, but someone has to make the first step. make it you. As long as you're kind people will welcome you. smiles are contagious

I am so sorry. I'm not sure what words I have that could help, but I'd like to try. ((hugs)) Please know that this isn't your fault, she has issues. You did what you believed was true & right and that's wonderful, you're a good man. And I'm sorry she took you for granateed. But remember every stuggle makes you strong, every heart ache developes your character. (James 1:2) And just trust that this happened for a reason & good will come of it. There is a reason you aren't with her right now & it's a good one. We don't know what right now, but one day you will see. Remind yourself, "she isn't the one, she doesn't love me the way I want to be love & never will. There is more out there, someone who will love me for me." yeah it sounds cheezy, lol but it works, for me anyway, hopefully you too - your thoughts control your life, so make them good ones I wish you a peace & happiness*

I completely agree. Welcome to the rest of your life!Take this as a warning sign. This isn't something that will go away & he's told you that he won't change regardless of your feelings towards it. Don't marry someone hoping things will change. It's been proven by MANY relaitonship it doesn't work. Take this seriously. Sure you could cut him some slack or find a way to dismiss your feelings for awhile...but it will all come back. Because this is who he is & You know what you want & are comfortable with. Don't settle for less than you desire for yourself & your life & your marriage (I fully understand your feelings & have been there) Like Dako said, picture your life 10 years down the road. You're heading for a troubling marriage. This is something I'm afraid will haunt your marriage. You deserve someone who cherishs you. And puts you & your feelings before others...ESPECIALLY nude women on the internet. Don't settle. Take this as a warning sign. And do yourself a favor, and get out of this. I wish you happiness***

Wow girl. Volunteer at a food kitchen for christmas. That is the most thoughtful, kind, selfless, generous descision I've heard. And to be coming from someone who's been hurting & going through so much herself. ((hugs)) Seriously, you make this world a better place. I think that is best thing you could do for yourself and it will be a blessing to many others. Congrats on you're new condo. Thank God living with your husband is almost over You are special pam. A blessing!

Hi nadine..I wish I would have given you that advice when you went through a break up sorry i'm late with it.....but it's still good to use now! It still helps me to this day & we broke up 3 years ago...but he's my sons father. it's hard sometimes. questions & feelings arise than I remind myself that. It clears my head & than everything makes sense. Positive self talk works like a charm. what you think grows

Totally agree with this. I felt the same when I began dateing my bf, now finacee. He's nothing like my friends or there bfs. But that's okay....because just like you. I wanted someone like that!!! That is a keeper. Someone you can build a family with, someone who makes you smile & you love being with. And the truth is, I've been with my bf for 2 years. by this point all of my friends & thier bf are broken up. And Honestly at the start of my relationship a couple of my friends admitted to me..they wondered what I saw in him....but once they got to know him...They said I'm lucky to have him. I am a friend will see if he makes you happy & that he is wonderful to you & for you A good person will see that he is a good person regardless of whether he is like them.

Wow, your dad sounds awesome!!! I hope that works out for you jason. wish you the best Stay strong & be positive

Hi Atticus I'm sorry for the hurt your feeling. But now is the time to make a decision. Your age is irrelevant to your problem. If you are old enough to get into a relationship, than you are old enough to be aware of the risks & heartbreak involved. And NOW is the time to learn how to handle it. Beating the 'other man up' won't help heal your heart...but it will bring your problem to an entire other level. With far MORE issues to take care of that I KNOW you don't want. Look at the big picture & you will see This way of handling things will not benefit your life it will do the opposite it will f&*^ your life more than you know. Getting into relitionships & knowing how to handle them is hard. But what your dad is telling you about 'what happens when your boss.....ect' IS TRUE. No matter what happeneds in your relationships, you still have a life to live. Running from your problems won't fix anything & you can't keep running. It's time you learn how to handle them. And the best way right now is to Go to school get your education (cause that is what will get you places you want to be) avoid her & him, and continue on with your life. Because handling hurt maturly is all a part of growing up. Now that you are dating, You have to grow up. We have all been hurt by someone & we have all had to face them again & again. Don't let anyone stand in the way of your life, your future. Hurting someone so they feel what you felt.....as appealing as it sounds, doesn't feel as good as you would think& the consequences of it, hurt most. This is a moment in your life that will change your life. It's your choice how you handle it & where it will take you. 1. Either run from your problems to avoid learning how to handle them (which will get you nowhere in life but to keep on running eveytime) 2. beat him up - which will feed the violence & anger in you & will bring out the worst in you and take you places you don't want to be. 3. Go back to school get your education & move on with your life. face them maturely. And learn from this. Learn so you know how to handle relationships. Yes this is by far the hardest choice of all, but that's because you get the most out of it. The easy choice is never the right one. look at the big picture. I wish you the best Atticus

I could & would NEVER do that. I pray he's not stupid enough to do that, cause pictures & video's of your children growing up are irreplaceable. I think maybe when things have cooled down between you two, the truth will come out & he still has them.

well I don't know anything about the relationship or why it ended... But a good way to help get over her, worked for me anyways (I see my ex a number of times a week) might be to remind yourself everytime you see her "she doesn't love me the way I want to be loved & she never will" "there is more for me out there, someone will love me for me!" yeah it sounds cheezy, lol but it works - your thoughts control your life, so make them good ones (:

Wow K does seem like quite the drama queen. Sure I may have been a little offended by your comment- probably more embarrassed, that I couldn't make it over the meter...lol... But I also would have realized that you were just trying to smooth over an awkward situation. She was most likely embarrassed by the entire situation & would rather blame you than take responsibility. She doesn't know how to handle your emotions, and went about it in the worst way. I would personally avoid her, be pleasant to her if she's around or wants to order photos. But I wouldn't want to be close to her either - her feelings seem to be all that matters to her. You handled it well...better than I would have (:

When is comes to unhealthy relationships....Rollercoaster of emotions is the perfect description. I don't think you need help. I think you need to sort this out. You either need to tell her exactly how you feel (get it off your chest...not sure if any good could come of it)..but expect things to be different. Or distance yourself to gather yourself & stabalize yourself again. (which i think is healthiest) But this rollercoaster ride will keep on going until you get off the ride. And make a decision on what to do.

Oh Wow, I didn't know that I'm not on any pills and my time of the month is brutal. It's hell...moody, emotional, pessimistic, hate everyone--just like shoebaby described. thanks I'll try that

ahhh...I see (: I just looked amnio up(cause I had no idea what it was) that is awesome, I didn't know they could do that. Thanks Avman. I do agree with Avman's prior post too...None of us are doctors...it's best to talk to one, he'll ease concerns and help....Prayer helps too (; don't worry you won't be the first to tell them you've done drugs . I'm sure he/she has heard it a number of times before. It's the only way to clear your mind 100% & help your child if it's needed.

first- YOU ARE NOT A COWARD (positive self talk) (; You are building up the courage. You know what he is & you know he's not going to change Keep reminding yourself of all you want & all you deserve. Pack your things & don't look back. Keep your eyes forward. Don't see it as time wasted, but a lesson in life. But get out fast. You are strong & very smart. You see what is going on & you can get out anytime. Life is precious & too short to waste being abused. Do yourself a favor & save yourself Perssue a better life. The one you desire & dream of, you deserve it.

I completely agree with Someguy69 But to ease your mind a little. I know a couple mothers who have done much more meth & pot than what you listed during the beginning of pregnancy. And the children are healthy & okay. Now I'm not sure what tests people are talking about. Because when I told my doctor i did drugs at the beginning of my pregnancy....there was no test. He just marked it off in the folder incase complications did come up..which none did. I'm not condoning drugs during pregnancy, as i know you aren't either (: But I wanted to share that with you to ease your heart a little, cause I know you are concerned. like someguy says "the best thing you can do for your baby now is to maintain your health--eat healthy, well balanced food, stay active, and avoid all drugs."

I totally agree with this. If you must tell her something, tell her you have some issues to take care of. Which is true, you do have to take care of yourself right now & stabalize yourself.

nmbrc193. I agree with Quite girl. "Be yourself NICE and just screen your women more carefully next time. A man doesn't have to be a jerk just to get a good women" (And to be honest, I don't know any jerk that has KEPT a good women) My Finacee, was just like you. He is a good man, a wonderful man, the kindest loving, most understandable man I've ever met (like you sound to be.) But every girlfriend he had, prior to me, had cheated on him. usually drunk. (I knew one of the ex's, she regreted it & told me what a good bf he was) We've been together nearly 3 years now, I cherish him and I know that he's one in a million. It may take time to find a women who will apprecaite you & realize what she's got. But it will happen! Don't let these girls & thier issues, discourage you. Be you, be kind, nice & understanding - inspite of what they have done to you. Continue to be You & someone will love you for you! Just try to screen women better.

well if you think of her in a sexual way...than you definietly have more than friend feelings for her. No doubt about it. But she is straight.

After 2 years, I should hope he has feelings. If you want to hear it from him....than talk to him, tell him you need to know. It's fair question to ask. wish you the best

After 2 years!!! hell yes. give up & move on. If he's not giving you anything more than a friend title, I'd Stop being more than a friend. I'm sure in the 2 years you guys have talked about being more & he's not willing to give you want & you need.Take care of yourself & your heart. Take the sign he's giving & leave. You are smart, faithful, patient & loving....You deserve someone who is sure! and best of all returns the love you give!!!!

I think it depends on what that ONE thing is & how important it is to the person. But in your case, it's a car - material, a possesion. It shouldn't be that important & if the girl won't date you because you don't have a car...than She's not worth it & You would have been used. You want a women that will go out with you regardless of what you have, but for who you are.