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About Me

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  1. We were together against the wishes of the majority of my friends and family due to the age gap. I’m 20 and he is He was always nice and very attentive, but I ended things very abruptly because he had never disclosed he had children and an (ex??) wife. He has not left me alone since then, using my coworkers as messengers as one of them also works as his employee also. He’s left expensive jewelry at work, money, and uses his employee that i work with to talk to me. She recently just told me his mother had a serious medical problem and that he wanted to hang out just as friends to take his mind off of things. I declined because I don’t think it’s possible for me personally to be friends with an ex, but i’ve felt nothing but guilt and feel like i’m ignoring someone in a time of need even though he ***ed me over for six months and made me a nonconsensual mistress. My roommate wants me to get a restraining order, but i think that is entirely too dramatic. I really don’t know what to do, as moving on is difficult while I work with so many people who are friends with him. I honestly still have feelings for him and genuinely miss him despite everything, but I understand this relationship was never healthy and my boundaries will not allow myself to get back together with him. Am I going to have to find a new job?
  2. So basically I’ve been chasing this guy who is 16 years older than me and has a rock band for like 7 months. We met in August then I haven’t seen him till October. In October I went to his cafe so many times and I also went to the bars he performed but never got the chance to talk to him and he never talked me. Then one day I think it was in December he came to me at his cafe and talked to me. After that day we always talk whenever we see each other. I flirted with him couple of times.(not too obviously). He even flirted me a little. We follow each other on instagram. Last month I went to another city just to go the bar he performed.(He doesn’t know that I changed the city for him). Even there he hugged me tight. He came he to me immediately after he saw me. That was the last time I saw him. But the problem is we only talk when we see each other. Like if I stop going to the bars and the cafe we would never talk again. I don’t know how to get closer to him. I don’t want to be too predictable. I want him to think about me. And I think that if I be more unpredictable, I can seduce him and make him write to me on instagram. Please give me some advice. He has so many girls my age around him but I don’t want to be one of those girls I want a real relationship with him.
  3. New to this forum but have actually read quite a lot on the ex back and NC topics. Long story very short... 6-year relationship, she's 19 years younger... call me a cradle-snatcher, but we really understood each other for most of those 6 years. Lived together for 2 years. I should have seen it coming as all the signs were there and she actually tried to tell me many times - only I didn’t (want to) hear it :-(. She moved away in March this year but we saw each other every couple of days and she’d spend at least one night of each week. 8 weeks ago she just called it quits. Was a very cold shower and total surprise. I was upset at first and didn’t talk to her for two days, then we texted some there and back. But she was suddenly a different person - cold, non-understanding, not willing to talk about anything. All the usual stuff that you read about that a dumper does after the fact. I called her once but all I got was a brick wall. Sent a long email asking for some explanation and if we could work it out. Not sure she even read it. As I suspected, there is also a guy at play that she has been seeing / flirting with (maybe) since April. Not sure I would call this a rebound but I believe at some point in June, she would be torn between the two of us - more inclining to the new guy (for all the obvious reasons). She did keep in irregular contact a few times a week after that - saying she wants to stay friends as she cares too much for me and I mean a lot in her life. Kept telling her I am not her friend because simply I feel more than that. I went and read tons of stuff (never really been dumped in my life, haha). Went NC 4 weeks ago. Immediately started doing stuff - I’m not short of hobbies - do lots of sports but added a gym and personal trainer to occupy the mind and tire the body. Been playing the piano and guitar a lot lately (after many many years), been playing computer games in the evenings, reading advice on this forum and elsewhere. She contacted me after 2 weeks, asking to see me, which I (a bit reluctantly) agreed to, I said I would bring her magazines that were delivered for her to our place. I was never mean to her, only a bit cold I’d say. We met at Starbucks and I was trying to be upbeat and not display any sense of urgency, pleading or anything. Tried to look real busy at work (which I actually am now). She didn’t say why she wanted to meet - maybe she didn’t feel the situation was good or maybe she just wanted to meet as buddies over coffee, don’t know… She acted a bit annoyed, especially later when she asked if I was going to come to our sports trainings and events and I said I didn’t plan to. She also seemed a bit pressed for time towards the end, though she said she had plenty. I am sure she went to see the other guy right after that and maybe didn’t want to keep him waiting. We parted ways with a hug. I wanted to kiss her like I used to but she just wanted a friendly kiss, which I said no to. So we just hugged a bit more and she left. I texted her later saying it was good to see her and she should stay in touch if she wants to. She texted back that obviously I can’t have contact with her now so it’s me who needs to stay in touch. I said maybe she could come over one night to watch our favourite TV show. She said she’d like that. I left it at that and went back to NC. She texted again a week later (yesterday actually), calling me my sweetheart name and saying that a new series of our favourite show would be screening next Monday. I replied (nicely) that I would definitely watch! And she said - “you definitely should”.
  4. I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 1 year now. She is kind, caring, supportive, driven and beautiful. Despite all this I've got this nagging voice in the back of my head telling me that something is missing. For example... I am a bit of a foodie. I love to cook and love going out to restaurants to eat. She on the other hand is an extremely picky eater. Trying to decide on what to eat for dinner or what restaurant to go to when we are on vacation is extremely difficult and can often make me feel a bit frustrated. She is 5 years older than me, has 2 daughters whilst I have 0 children. Whilst I do not think much of the age gap as we are both in our 30's there are certain things that I have experienced growing up which she has not as she was being a devoted mother. For example certain albums, films, festivals or concerts. These are all things that I am passionate about but she has not had the time to experience them because she was bringing up her kids. This with the issue with the food sometimes make me feel like there is a lack of connection in certain areas of our life. That being said there are other things which we do have in common but maybe not the things which get me really excited to talk about. I do think that her being older and having children has been a good influence on me, I am enjoying being a bit more responsible and spending time with her family and in the grand scheme of things things such as music, food and film are quite minor. The relationship is good but not perfect. At my age am I expecting too much? I know in all relationships there has to be compromise and she is a wonderful girlfriend who is loving, supportive and hard working. My previous relationship was extremely toxic but we did have a lot more in common and but that alone wasn't enough to make the relationship work. This relationship is the complete opposite of my previous one which in some ways is fantastic but sometimes I feel like I'm missing out or potentially selling myself short? As i get older and have my own children I am aware that I probably wouldn't have the same amount of time or money to invest in things like cooking and concerts etc? I know that we make a really good team and would probably make a solid family unit as time progresses, I am completely in love and devoted to her and am not sure if I'm just overthinking things?
  5. From The Corner of Her Eye Little woman Bright blue eyes Meeting a pair of green Beautiful man Beautiful girl Several years in between But love blinded numbers A happy seventeen and twenty-four Lost a difference of six And soon lost them quite a bit more So love, it fell Crushed—forced to die Yet still she loved From the corner of her eye A new 'love' manufactured By those far wiser than she But it wasn't the same It never would be Though quietly she succumbed Watching life pass her by Sure, she was living From the corner of her eye A beautiful wedding A teary-eyed bride A family watching A family with pride The baby, it came A beautiful girl with green eyes She didn't look like 'Daddy' An unwelcome surprise Mother didn't say sorry Quietly she left without attempting to deny She saw the anger in her family From the corner of her eye They traveled for a while—years Then happened upon a grave Mother looked defeated Which made the girl afraid After that things were different Mother didn't smile anymore Mother looked older So much older than before Soon the girl couldn't stand to watch To face her mother straight on Seeing her like that made her cry So she silently took it all in Bit by bit From the corner of her eye A girl grows to a woman A woman—she grows old And summers fade to winters Leaving warmth to fall to cold An old woman lost to sickness A young lady all alone Nothing left to hold on to And no family of her own She walks to the old gravesite A perfect place to say goodbye She knows it's time to stop living From the corner of her eye
  6. Ok, heres the deal (please dont think I'm disgusting) I'm in a relationship with a guy 15 yrs older than me, I'm 19. He was my highschool teacher and the first and only guy ive ever been with. My parents found out about our relationship about 3 months after it began (I was no longer in his class but I was still in high school) Then he was sent to Iraq and they thought our relationship ended so they didnt get him introuble w/ the school or anything. But the other day they found that I still had his number and pretty much hate me right now. I love this man to death, he means the world to me--but being with him means totally losing all contact with my family b/c they have made it clear they wont have anything to do with me if I stayed with him. He wants to get married but I am so scared of losing my family when or if I do marry him, because they will know for sure I have been lying to them this whole time. I wish I didn't love him so much and could move on, but every time I try I can't, it breaks my heart... I dont know what to do!
  7. Well theres this girl that I like alot and well were both pretty shy (but I am more shy)....... When we dont have alcohol in our systems we rarly kiss..... but when we drink we go as far as sex alot of times..... otherwise I sit w8ting for her to kiss me like in bed when were not drinking.... She is also 23 and I am 18 she has 2 kids also....... I dunno what kind of relationship this is I sleep at her house alot and spend a bit of time with her watch movies together and stuff..... we wana go swiming sometime or skateland or something.... I dunno she says she dont want a relationship with me cause she dont think I can handle the kids and I am 5 years younger than her (being young sux)...... but I like the kids expecially the 2 year old hes so cool (minus when he wakes up cring). I met her like 3 months ago was friends up until about 3-3 1/2 weeks. She always complains that I dont call her but its cause I am so shy.
  8. ok so here is the story. im divorced with two kids. we have been together for almost 2 yrs and living together for the last 5 months. she is 10 yrs younger than i. im 35. she is moving out because she feels that when my kids are there she feels traped and left out and all that. she thinks moving out will make it better for us and the kids because she will only have to be there if she is in the mood for kids and that goes with it when they are there. is this fair to me? i mean she will be at my place whern the kids are not there but when the kids are with me she can go to her place if she wants. does this seem ok to you? she says it will be fun having 2 places and she will still be around as much or more than now because they are on her terms. i dont know... anyone????
  9. Ok - u guys are gonna all read this - think - Shes OFF HER ROCKER get her some pills - but here it goes. So - my current relationship is going absolutley nowhere - I've written about this before - don't feel like finding the post cuz i'm so hyped up - well theres no feelings - haven't had a date in forever - definitely breaking up - especially after now. Wish I had done it sooner But, I know I SHOULD have broken up by now - cuz I'm so SICK of getting treated like [Profanity Removed by Moderator] all the time - him yellin at me - criticizing me, pretending to love me, overreacting over small things - THE LIST GOES ON. and NOW..... I went on a date tonight with another man - maybe this should be in INFIDELITY - except nothing happened - no kiss - just a casual first date typa thing. I didn't think it was a date before I left - he wrote me a reference letter for the work I've done for him - which he had to resign and wanted to do somethin nice for me after all I've done for him - so he wrote me this fabulous reference letter and was supposed to give it to me over coffee today So question is - IS this a date? We went - he picked me up - kinda came by surprise cuz I wasn't sure what time we were going - drove around thinking of a place to go - finally decided on a place - and ordered some coffee - and I won $20 on a scratch ticket so I figured - I'm gonna treat myself good and ordered this fabulously expensive coffee. He ordered the same - on my request. We talked and talked. Wait - HE talked and talked. lol. He has so many amazing, great stories - hes so entertaining - so fun to listen too - I've always been the quiet one. I don't deny it. I don't feel bad about being quiet - I'm always quiet - have been since i was 2 theres no changing that - unless I have a lot of alcohol... lol. So after an hour I took off to go to the washroom - came back - he ordered me ANOTHER coffee. Same thing. By this time I'm thinkin - can i still afford this? But I was thinkin well put my cash and my money left in my bank account - yeah should be good. I thought I was buying HIM coffee - we had joked about it. So then go the washroom AGAIN (after two hours) come back and hes got the bill paid - nothing I can do about it - its done by the time I get back. So that took me by surprise - I mean I'm always the one paying with my current - well ex-boyfriend now. Then we went and sat in the car - in -40 degree CELCIUS weather - Frick its COLD here - be glad u are not in Canada right now. Listened to music and talked even more. Half an hour later, he says he best be going - the night ends with a nice polite hug and thats it. He said 'call or email anytime' I said 'u can do the same' he said 'i will, definitely' that was it. Ok i guess thats a date. I just need to get this out cuz theres no one I can really talk to about it! Besides my cousin but she doesn't know about all the history with my ex. Anyways - this guy is amazing. Everything I would want - everything my parents would want for me - kind, extremely good looking, same religion, same beliefs, very caring, very responsible. I can't believe hes like in his 30s, still single, never been married, never had kids, nothing serious. 15 years older than me. I hope this goes further - I want to do something - call him again, ask him out again - NOT Sure what to do - any advice here? I'm not the type to sit around and wait to see whats gonna happen, wait for him to call. Ya know? But like when should I call, what should I ask him. I'm getting very mixed signals on if he likes me - or if he meant for this to be a date or what. I'm also a bit more nervous about it cuz hes a lot older than me. And I don't know what his intentions are. I wish to God I knew but I don't. One more regret. I wish I had WAITED for a guy like this to come along. Even if this is not the guy - especially if it is. I always thought "you know I"m never going to meet anyone perfect" always settled for less than what I deserve (let this be a lesson to all), got myself into a ton of trouble cuz I just gave up hope and figured, theres no one out there, all the good guys are taken, all the good guys are MARRIED at that. Always wanted an older man, for some reason attracted to them, and always wanted a man that shared the same passion and beliefs that I do. And here he is. So i think. Geez, you know I could be completely wrong. I just WISH I knew. Anyways - someone reply and give me some advice/input on this. I'm so hyped up. I need to calm down. Really should take some pills. lol. THANKS.
  10. unsure whether this should go in 'dating' but oh well. im 16 going 17 and i really like this girl who is 14 going 15. i know she likes me and would go out with me because she told her friends. but im unsure whther the age gap is a big difference for someone of our ages. im going to college while shes still in high school. and IF we went out should we do any erotic or sex stuff (bj, fingering)i want to know wot anyone on here would think or do about any of the above. is she too young?wot about the age gap?pls reply Cheers,
  11. Alright, one this is my frist post so be gental Alright , a lil background to the problem. I live in pa with my (divorced) mom and am now in va with my dad and his new wife(which have been together for awhile now) anyways thats just the location background. Iv had a weird childhood , from a divorced living to a constantly moving (as in 8 times each year at least if im lucky) to being abused mentaly and in other ways which i dont wana discuss by family members. Theres a lil more background . Now focus on this , the problem. Im 18 finally , had plenty of good relationships but usually eneded in breakups because of moving. I still havent had sex cause Im no that type of guy I guess. Unless I plan on living with you for the rest of my life , your not getten with me , sry love. (Sry iv been drinking if this dosent make since) even if the backgrounds weird , heres the prob. Im with my dad visiting for 2 months. The next door neghibors girl is only 11 but she looks and acts older. We havent done anything really just flirted around , but its getten to the point where she might even wana kiss soon. Iv been thinken bout her and her life to come, iv told myself shes young , got alot to look forward to. For that reason I dont know if im gona take the flirting any further even if she wants 2. Shes just 2 young , some things she does though does get me a lil stupid. Like setting in my lap and leaning back so that her face is less that a foot away and her hairs in my face, tickling etc. No matter what I like/love her , but since shes so young , Im thinken bout pushen myself towards the bigbrother type route. Or (to the girls) do you guys think that 11 is an ok age to flirt , even with the age gap. Im not really thinken bout her in a sexual way , more of a cuddle look at the great view , have a good night, sweat dreams type of thing. She just has a lot to live through and even if the age gap isent a factor I think she deserves to experance love and breakups around her age till shes mine. I dont know god life sux Im in such a weird and new situiation. love is crazy anyways im getten eatn up by dam misquitoes, night. Btw I like her for her. if u know that err to much to drink anyways , give me some good advice , no haters with anger problems please. Lots of love to you all night.
  12. my mom met this guy 2 months ago at my cousin's wedding. he is a cop, 15 years younger than my mom. my mom has been widowed 6 years ago. when she confided to me that this guy is courting her, i was kinda shocked. all the while i thought they were just friends, thouhg ive been a li'l suspicious a few weeks ago. wen my 2 younger sisters learned about this, they were shocked and burst out in tears. they have always been firm on their stand that they dont want my mom to have a boyfriend or get married. though it was okay for me for her to have a boyfriend. but i dont want her to get married too. now we're not quite really chummy and sweet with her. although she told us that she doesnt feel anything for him yet, we think and feel otherwise. we discussed about it a few nights ago. i told her why i dont like this guy. first we're like suspicious of his real intentions with my mom. we think that he's after her money. my mom's now expanding her business in his place of work just after two months of meeting. -- he's a cop i think (he mentions an airborne something i dont quite understand). and there are also some things i dont like in him, but my mom seems blinded by these things. now that we've told her what we feel, she wants us to decide if she's going to continue with this guy or end it. we dont know what to say now. a.) she told us that if we say yes, then we'll have to support her all the way, and defend her to my dad's side. however, how are we gonna do that if we in the first place disapprove of it?? b.)if we say no, then she'll be really hurt. while we're talking to her, she keeps saying that she has always been a good mother to us, she had always given us what we need and wanted. she says she needs a companion. she said she has never been happy in her life (i kinda freaked out cause that means she has never been happy with us and with my dad though she denied it), and now she wants to be happy. said that she would sacrifice and give up her happines so we would be happy. so if we disapprove of this, we'll be this selfish children who deprive our mom her happines. we feel like its emotional blackmail. now we dont know what to decide. wether to approve of her in entering this relationship or not. on my part, im not against her having a boyfriend, i just dont like this guy in particular. my sisters however, are not just against this guy but the boyfriend thing as a whole. what do we do now? we really really think that she'd just get hurt with this guy. kindly enlighten us... i would really appreciate it. if you need any more details, feel free to ask me.
  13. I'm a 60 year old male (don't laugh!), but in all honesty don't feel it, and often told i don't look it either.... the thing is i have been in a relationship with a 28 year old girl for 18 months.... and it seems to work!!! It seems more of a problem for me.... she does says "who cares - its just a number". Anyone else out there with a similar situation?
  14. Hi everyone, well I'm still getting over a girl, well pretty much am I still think about her, I don't know why she used me pretty good. Ok for all that aside. There is this girl who is 17 and she is flriting with me constanlty I get home and I see her whole day on my aim. No the part is we really get along good, good interests same of a lot of stuff. Now I'm not 100% interested in her but I'm not sure if ist beacuse of past things like the other girl. Now I think if the age thing wasn't there I wouldn't have a problem spending time with her, but she is 17 and I am 21. most people I know don't find this as a problem, but it really bothers me. Not for sex or that stuff just the age gap. if she were 19-20 or 21-23 I really wouln't care. Not sure what I should do.
  15. Hi guys, Just thought I would seek some advice for once! Well I have been single for enough time now! I broke up with my long term ex. quite a while ago, well she broke up with me, and I am now ready to start dating seriously again! So I go out as often as I can to clubs, bars, coffee shops, even the mall but I still find it hard to meet girls around my age whom are single and want to take things further, relationship wise anyway. Now don't get me wrong, I meet plenty of girls on my travels, but they are either: 1) too young, like I mean i'm nearly 27 (in a week anyway) and they are around 20/21. Ok it is flatteing when a 20 year old takes an interest in you, but I don't want to take advantage of a 20 year old girl and I also think that a 7ish year age gap is probably too much at this time. 2) they are around my age but are in a serious relationsip; and I don't want to be the cause of a relationship breakdown! 3) they are older (nothing wrong in this!) but are married and looking for some fun. Again I do not want to be the cause of a marriage breakup! For example I was recently asked by a married South African woman whether I wanted to go with her for a month to South Africa. Of course I kindly refused! But you can see where I am coming from. I do not seem to be meeting the right women whom are also free and available! So my question is really where do you find potential partners? I guess what I'm looking for is the answer to the question 'Where did you meet your current boyfriend/girlfriend?' Please bear in mind that I have been out of the dating scene for some six years, so I have some rustyness/cobwebs to shake off! Thanks in advance
  16. My exboyfriend broke up with me 6 weeks ago. He got a new girlfriend immediately. That hurt. He said he wanted to continue to be friends and be there for me while I go thru divorce/sep. Since then, he has clearly continued to flirt with me and send signals that he is still interested in me. I studied body language because I was confused about what his double-talk & mixed messages really meant. Last nite, I responded in kind to his flirting (body language) & he actually verbalized that he knew I was flirting with him. And responded by giving me a hug. He then said that my niece who's 18 yrs younger than me is also a flirt & that it must run in the family. He almost seemed disgusted that we both were pursuing him while he is seeing somebody else. ugh! So, I can't get it off my mind that my niece who has been my confidont is moving in on someone she knows I still have strong feelings for. He probably has been flirting with her also. He is such a flirt! Any advice on how to handle this odd mess?
  17. I have been dating my bf for 3 years and he is 13 years younger than I am. He is such a nice, fun person and everyone loves him which makes it so hard for me because the WOMEN his age are much hotter, thinner, younger than I am. He lives with me now, and we have worked through our share of problems including some major MAJOR ones where he lied to me. Most of the lies were due to him being out drinking with friends and I tried to be understanding since he IS so young (26) but there was one time about 2 and a half years ago when I caught him NAKED with 2 friends of mine, also naked, and I honestly think drugs were involved. I know it is hard to believe I am still with him, even just seeing it in writing makes it hard for me to believe how pathetic I am. I just can't help it that I love him and I want things to work out with us, so badly. I finally met his parents last month and lately our relationship has been SO much better, but I can't seem to trust him since his big slip ups. I check his phone, I check his email, I follow him around like a stupid high school kid. I know I shouldn't but I get myself so upset and my stomach feels sick that I don't know what to do, so I follow him hoping to catch him for once and for all doing something wrong. So far, all I have caught him doing is drinking. I finally told him no more passing out at friends' houses, call me for a ride, that stuff isn't fair anymore... And I can't always go out because I have a son and need to be a responsible mom. I'm just so torn, and I think you will all tell me I'm a fool for staying with him, but when things are good.... like they have been lately... they are so wonderful and we are so happy. How do I ever get the trust back? What he did was so bad I think of it all the time and I don't know if I can get past it. I think the drug thing was just that one night, it's not like he has a drug problem or maybe I'm just being stupid... Please help. Thanks.
  18. O.k. I've made a thread about asking out for a prom date before. Well the time has come to get this done. doing it is not a problem because rejection doesn't mean much to me. i've been rejected 2x already but girls that are engaged in HS most likely aren't that easy to get to go to prom. haha. so my dillema is this... i can ask a girl that's a junior who everyone thinks little of now. she is really attractive and I feel bad for her. (she's anorexic-bulimic). People have tried to help her but no one gets through to her. I have that bad feeling no one has asked her yet because of this, despite her being super-attractive and a great person. or i can take my mom's best friend's daughter (who is also my friend). she goes to another school. she is only a freshman but we have basically grown up together. she has a boyfriend (who is also a senior at her school) but he seems pretty cool and i'm not about to fool around with someone that young in the first place. the second option would be cool since we grew up together and all that but the age gap is insane. the first option was my gut instinct (and a girl I considered asking before I knew about her eating habbits) but i found out about her eating habbits and i just don't know. opinions would be great. thanks!
  19. Im in love with a woman 11 years older than I am, I never thought such a thing possible but I guess it is. She completes me, she is my everything. I have hurt her and I hope she can forgive me, truly forgive me for I do not know what I would do without her. When i talk to her I become a wave of happinessm however when I do not tlak to her for dats or weeks at a time I become secluded and unhappy well maybe not unhappy, perhaps content looking forward to the next time we can talk. She wants me to be with a girl closer to my own age, a girl I can be with but she can't seem to understand that she is waht I want, what I need. She is *****, she is 27 years old and she is the love of my life. All this may seem strange and coreny perhaps taken from a hollywood movie but it was not, this comes from the deepest depths of my heart which is filled with love of this perfect female. She has made mistakes in her life as have I but in the end it does not matter what either of us have done in the past but what we can do together in the future, what we, if she can accept me again, will do in the future, many will assume this coming from a 16 year old is blasphemy, how could I understand what love is, I say to those people that love holds no boundaries. All in the end it comes to one thing; I love ***** and to be with her would complete me and allow me to grow more then ever thought possible. For a man throwing his feelings out, it is one of the hardest things to do, for myself espically because every other time in my life I have shown and give my feelings of love I have been shutdown and shutout. However for this female she needs to know how I truly feel she needs to know without her I am lost. Some may consider me a fool, yes I am but I would much rather be a fool inlove then a fool with and empty heart. Look past the promise I broke to you *****. For I was confused about myself, who I was. I learned who I am and that is nothing and no one without you in my life You can say anything you want about me, sute ive done things that are messed up, obsessive even but it was all in effort to learn who I am as a person. Wanting to be with ***** does not make me obsessive for she does not control and enter my every thought she just makes me happy and isnt that all we want in life, to be happy My name is ***** and I love ***** with all my heart. Yes im young, i have plenty of chances to find love in my life but to those critics I ask you, Should I give up love just because of age or because I need to go out with more girls my own age, I cant stand girls my own age they plainly annoy me Should I give up love, Should anyone give up love for that matter. The true and real love that you feel when you meet a person that completes you as a person? Thats my moment for the night, tell me what ya think (am I nuts?, got something going for me?, all comments accepted
  20. Since I began my college course in September 2004, I have been befriended by a delightfully-pretty divorcee named Vanessa. She is 10 years younger than me. Our acquaintance become friendship in three months. She first sat behind me in class, and sat next to me in time. She even asked me for my phone number - something of a rareity for me. She said that I give her motivation, something which I never thought was possible - so I am flattered on that count. She even phoned me about approximately 20 minutes on the phone on two occasions before/around Christmas. We even went out on Christmas Eve, with three of her friends, which was a good night all round. After the arrival of this year, she invited me over to study and socialize with her. I enjoy(ed) and value(ed) the time and company I have/had with her. During that time, she was having problems with a man, who she was introduced to, before Christmas, and in time was emotionally blackmailing her - i.e. waiting at the bus station for her, writing love letters. Any time she dumped him, he'd pretend to say, he was in hospital, i.e. had an accident, fell down the stairs etc. What she told me of him, I began to show that I do care about her, and think about her constantly. I began to have feelings for her, but kept them in secret. I let my cards out on the table a few days ago and let her know how I feel about her. I told her, I want to progress our friendship further without a timescale and didn't expect a decision until the end of this decade and know to well things could change somewhere along that period of time. I felt that in past relationships, she hasn't been given a good length of time to be with a man. I also stated I didn't want to loose out on her too and also demonstrated my patience, tollerance, kindness, understanding, humour and sympathy to her. I told her I offer myself to HER. But I think I have shot myself in the foot. I should not have kissed her when we met for a coffee and chat yesterday. She did say she likes me as a friend, but I don't want to make things worse because I may loose a friend, let alone any chance of a first proper girlfriend too. If Vanessa suggests something - meet up for a coffee/study at her home, I am expected to attend. But if I arrange something - pizza/day out somewhere, she won't. I can't get her out of my head and want to keep a lid on my feelings for her. I may never meet another woman if she and I are history. Any helpful advice will be very greatfully appreciated with thanks.
  21. I am a 36 year old single mom of one. I met a man who is 11 years older just over a month ago throught a singles internet dating service. He also has two kids that he is rasing on his own. I think that is wonderful of him to do so. He he lives in a town where I am planing to move but it is 10 hrs away. I am not moving tell my child finishes school. He has come to see me and we hit it off. Now we have fallen in love and he wants us to move in with them before July. I feel that its right in my heart and so does he. He has been out of a marrage that went bad for about 10 months(she cheated on him) and I was assaulted just 2 months ago by a man who i thought loved me. So I do not know what to do, it is hard to wait tell July. I do not whant to rush this relationship but on the other hand I do not want to waist another minute without him. He is the most thoughtful caring man I have ever met.
  22. I need to write this as otherwise I am going to end up e-mailing my ex to tell him how much I am hating him at the moment!!!!!!! My ex dumped me 4 months ago. We were together for over 5 years!!!! I was doing really well to get over him and just this last week I have started to have dreams about him again which is making me feel quite down I suppose the real problem is he broke up with me to be single and I found out a couple of months ago he started dating someone a week after the split!!! at first it didn't bother me, she is 10 years older and a few mutual friends have met her and said she is ok, but quite boring. I have also seen her and im not being the jealous ex or anything but she isn't really stunning looking either!!! A friend of ours told me he didn't mean it to happen it just did. Problem I think I have now is it is coming up to 4 months that they would have been together and I can handle the fact they are dating, sleeping together etc (I don't want him back, I honestly couldn't go back with him when he has put me through hell & back only to date someone a week after our split) but what I cant handle is the fact he may be falling in love with her so soon after splitting with me. I really hate him for doing this to me. he meant the world to me and he used to tell me he loved me soo much all the time!!! it was a complete shock splitting up, to me, his family & friends!!! He even told me he had only been planning it for a week (since we got back from our holiday) I think it must have been at the back of head for a while - he had this commitment problem that came up every time we were together for another year, but when he was drunk he blurted it all out and finished it!!! Gutless pig!!! I know it is none of my business and I could deal with the fact he was with her as I thought of it as... she wasn't replacing me just helping him get over me, but now I feel it has to be more!!! I really hate him, he didn't even send my a birthday card after us being together for so long!!! I feel like I have done something wrong even though it ended on a nice note saying one day we can be friends but I just feel so much bitterness between us. I think most of it is in my head as I haven't seen/spoke to him for over 2 months and even then it was me who went up to him & his new GF and said hi how are you!! - not that I cared!!!! just didn't want him to think 'I'm really glad I broke up with her' I reallllllly hate him and I realllly want to tell him but I know it wont do anything. I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him
  23. Hey, I'm just curious as to what other people think of age gap friendships. I'm not talking like male, female age gap friendships. I mean like a guy and a guy. I have this one buddy who is only 16 and I am 20 but he is my best friend because we've grown up togeather. I've known him since he was pretty much born I was first friends with his sister who is one year younger then me but as I got older me and him started hanging out. I've been through some rough times in the past and still face rough times now. You can look at my previous posts to get an idea what I am talking about by rough =/, but anyways I always feel like theres something wrong with me being friends wtih a 16 year old even though we've known eachother for along time and get along great. He thinks that there really isnt anything wrong but then again he's also the one thats younger. I know that a younger person hanging out with an older person usually makes them look good infront of their buddies that are there age because it makes them look more mature. But how about for the older person? I always feel like people who know about our friendship (family members, other peers) are making fun of me and so I kind of keep our friendship on the down low if ya know what I mean I feel it also makes it hard for me to make friends my age because I dont really have any other close friends in my age group so if these new guys ever wanted to find out who my friends were and found out that I was friends with a 16 year old would make fun of me. The guys I am referring to are mostly guys at my work I fit in well at work but I am always too affraid to take it to the next level and hang outside of work because then they might find out about me and it will make my work environment very uncomftorable =/. Anyways please I would like as much feed back as I can get because this is something that has bugged me for a very long time and for some reason never thought about asking what other people think.
  24. I am a married man with two kids. My marriage has been rocky, but we are still doing alright, although we are almost the opposite personalities. I am very social and have male and female friends. One of my female friends I have known for about 8 months and she is 11 years younger then I, and is divorced with three kids, living at home with parents while she completes school for a college degree. Anyways...we are JUST Friends, she told me that she would never even consider messing with a married man. We talk about a few times a week and occasionally get together to chat about our lives and have a coffee. I have met her parents and kids. Her kids really like me. She has a lot of male friends, relates better to them she says, and a few female friends. Some of her male friends are ex-boyfriends who she has had sex with. She was divorced early at about 25. So, here is my question.... I know a little about computers and got a call from her the other day that she could not get her flash memory card to work with her PC and was very upset because the flash memory card had her homework on it that she intended to work on over the weekend. She asked me for some help over the phone, but come to find out she needed me to upgrade her PC to Windows XP from Windows 98. So, with my wifes permission I went over to her house and her mom and kids left us there alone and went shopping. Her PC is in her bedroom. As I was installing the upgrade and drivers, etc, which took about 3-4 hours, we had a nice talk, she pulled our photo albums of her kids when they were little and babies. There were three of them, one for each kid. She also showed me a real picture of a tubal pregnancy that she had. And of course there were pictures in the photo albums of some of her ex-boyfriends and ex-husband. The ex-boyfriend has been trying to get back with her for sex mostly, and she wants to find a man to settle down with and who will love her kids as much as her. She sat on her bed while we talked, and I was sitting at her computer desk next to the bed in a chair. She was a little uncomfortable after a while and layed on her side. Then I noticed as we were talking she started to keep her ankles together while laying on her side facing me and lifting her leg as to be stretching or maybe teasing me? I have to say that it was not easy not to look at her body. She was only wearing athletic sweats and a t-shirt. She also made lunch and invited me to share a meal with her. From this part day with her, I am trying to figure out if she likes me as more then friends, from all the body language and how she shared her photo albums and picture of her tubal pregnancy and some intimate conversations about our pasts. I am almost sure then she has been with her ex-boyfriend sexually lately, but she told me and another friend of hers that she does not want to have sex with anyone again until she meets the man she will marry. She is tired of the boy toys as she calls it. I found on her internet history that she had been searching for free porn once. So, I know she is lonely. Again, I cannot figure out if she wants me as more then a friend and wont say or do anything because I am married. She has met my wife and kids before, a few times and even had coffee with my wife alone. She has told me that she thinks my wife is insecure, which is true. I am so confused. If I were not married...I would consider dating her. But I dont know if she feels the same. Thoughts?
  25. I've posted a few bits here and really feel that I'm talking to people who have fought the battle and won. This is my story if you want to know. I was married to a wonderful girl for 9 years, we had been going out together for 11 years. She was everything I ever wanted, and our relationship was great. We were kindred spirits and soul mates. I trusted her as she trusted me and for many years we had a happy life. We never had children which was our decision so we managed to spend time going away travelling and just enjoying each others company. At the time a job was offered me in another town about 300 miles north of my hometown and it looked good - so after a bit of thought and deliberating we made the move and headed north. cutting a long long story short - the job was crap. I was working 12 hour days constantly and realised that I really wasn't happy anymore, so I quit the job and we moved back.. Then things started to go strange. She became very distant and forgetful, she started going out for meals with her 'friends' all the time. on our anniversary I wanted to go for dinner somewhere but she said that we couldn't afford it - so we went to her parents instead, 2 days later she went for yet another meal with friends much to my annoyance. She would come back home later and later until she was coming home at midnight after going out at 7.30pm just to see her Grandad (a visit normally lasted an hour when I was there). She stopped telling me she loved me and her behaviour got stranger and stranger. Some guy who I didn't know very well began to drop her home from work. Finally she said that she wanted to 'go it alone' and she wanted a family (try and figure that one out), she refused to try and reconcile - I was absolutley devestated. for 2 weeks I cried and wouldn't accept it. I went and saw her parents and we met up to talk - I wanted to still see her and see if we could sort things out, she agreed but a little halfheartly. For 12 months I lived my life around her, being there for her and trying to spend as much time together as I could - I heard rumours about her and this bloke going placed together but I didn't want to accept it. She slowly excluded me from her family events and I still tried to make it work. Finally she TEXT me to say it's time we moved on. I now heard that she is seeing this guy (which I knew) - but he is 40 years old (8 years older) and did 6 months in prison for child molesting...... I don't understand it ?????
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